On Choosing a Wife Wisely

Posted on 2023-05-01 by Jack

Young Men, Forsake the Love of Dionysus.  Embrace the Love of Headship!

Readership: All
Theme: Wives and Mothers
Reader’s Note: This may be one of my most important posts this year.
Length: 800 words
Reading Time: 10 minutes

Introduction

A man chooses to marry a woman whom he loves, and it is seldom (if ever) the case that a man will marry a woman he does not love in some form or fashion.  However, it is this very form and fashion of love, yea, his mental state in this decision regarding the nature of love itself, which is what will determine whether he is destined for a God glorifying life of Headship, or the soul crushing legacy of being the ignominious punching bag of a ball busting battle axe.

We know that men love idealistically, and this remains true in either case.  However, a man’s paradigm of consciousness determines what love is in itself, and therefore whom is to be chosen as a wife.  Here, let us compare these two paradigms of love.

The Love of Dionysius

Within blank slate equalism (AKA Blue Pill mentality), a man would deem himself to be in love with a woman who humbles his desire and therefore holds sexual authority over himself.  This is an entirely natural relationship, and to some extent, ordained by God.  (Song of Solomon 4:1-15; 6:4-12; 7:1-9)*

When he says, “I love her!”, he is confessing his quivering heart’s submission to The One™ who has captured his lustful imaginings in the hope that he will forever be her personal Dionysus, and her his personal Aphrodite, and to pour his pagan lust upon her with every stirring urge.

The problem with this approach is that the woman holds the majority of power in the relationship.  So when the warm fuzzies fade away, and the humdrum rigamarole of daily living kicks in, he is relegated into the subservient mode of pedestalizing her and working like a son of a b!tch to recapture that original spark through various vain attempts at making her “happy” once again.  Unbeknownst to him, these efforts to satiate her non-burning bush will only further destroy whatever Tingles she may have ever had for him (if any at all) and ye olde dreaded dead bedroom syndrome sets in, never to be rescinded.

Within this type of “love” arrangement, it appears superfluous for St. Paul to have to tell husbands to love their wives (Ephesians 5:25-33; Colossians 3:19).  It would seem more appropriate for him to be telling wives to love their husbands with tender affections and a gentle rocking motion.  However, Paul’s admonishments make more sense when we recognize that this is not a Christian marriage to begin with.

The Love of Master Ch@d Head

Within a Headship structure of Authority, a man would deem himself to be in love with a woman who attaches her soul to his like a monkey on his back.  Although this is annoying and perhaps even embarrassing at times, she is submissive to his will and eager to please him in all things.  This is the more important piece of the equation which must be firmly set in place before Master Ch@d can quench his thirst without fear of being poisoned.  (Song of Solomon 1:2-4; 1:12-14; 1:16-17; 2:3-6; 2:16-17; 3:1-4; 5:4-5; 5:10-16; 6:2-3; 7:10-13; 8:1-3; 8:14)*

When he says, “She loves me!”, he is declaring his commitment to stick with her, teach her, mold her into wife material, and wash her clean, doing what is necessary to admonish her soul in the fear of the Lord.  Although he may not be raving mad with Dionystic desire, anytime she licks his ball sack with wide-teary-eyed eagerness of affection, he cannot resist ruling over her passions by shagging her eager thatch on the regular.  Atten-SHUN!  Thus, he is the master of her heart, and she the mistress who purveys the child-bearing receptacle for his loin slush.

Within this type of love arrangement, it is altogether fitting for St. Paul to tell husbands to love their wives (Ephesians 5:25-33; Colossians 3:19), as this added effect is what will keep her enthralled with pangs of humble hungry desire and perpetuate her pasty passions of impalement into the eternal.

Conclusions

As you can see from the illustrations above, a man becomes trapped in a soul-sucking marriage when he puts his own thirst first and foremost, and bows down to worship p00n in the abstract.  Meanwhile, he fails to take advantage of other opportunities in which a woman may be offering her sincere submissive love to him.

OTOH, a man enters into a daily c0ck-sucking marriage and attains the glories of Headship when he settles in with a woman with whom he can make a game of keeping her dancing on her toes and begging for moar.  He stays focused on steadily nurturing his obedient house pet until she is capable of taking the honored place as his sidekick.

* Important Note: In the Song of Solomon, the majority of verses are of the bride singing praises to the groom, and not the other way around.  This is as it should be.

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About Jack

Jack is a world traveling artist, skilled in trading ideas and information, none of which are considered too holy, too nerdy, nor too profane to hijack and twist into useful fashion. Sigma Frame Mindsets and methods for building and maintaining a masculine Frame
This entry was posted in Agency, Archetypes, Attraction, Calculated Risk Taking, Charisma, Choosing a Partner or Spouse, Collective Strength, Confidence, Conserving Power, Courtship and Marriage, Decision Making, Desire, Desire, Passion, Discerning Lies and Deception, Discernment, Wisdom, Erotic Blueprints, Female Power, Fundamental Frame, Game, Game Theory, Glory, Headship and Patriarchy, Holding Frame, Identity, Inner Game, Intersexual Dynamics, Introspection, Joy, Love, Male Power, Masculine Disciplines, Maturity, Personal Growth and Development, Models of Failure, Models of Success, Moral Agency, Personal Domain, Personal Presentation, Power, Purpose, Relationships, Respect, Sanctification & Defilement, Self-Concept, Self-Control, Sex, Sexual Authority, Sphere of Influence, The Power of God, Vetting Women. Bookmark the permalink.

24 Responses to On Choosing a Wife Wisely

  1. thedeti says:
    2023-05-02 at 1:50 am

    “The problem with this approach is that the woman holds the majority of power in the relationship. So when the warm fuzzies fade away, and the humdrum rigamarole of daily living kicks in, he is relegated into the subservient mode of pedestalizing her and working like a son of a b!tch to recapture that original spark through various vain attempts at making her “happy” once again.”

    We all know men marry for sexual attraction and love. A man will not, absolutely will not, marry a woman he does not feel love for.

    A man will not, absolutely will not, marry a woman he does not want to bang.

    Women know this.

    This is why men have to go into a marriage knowing their own value and what they bring. He has to be prepared to walk away at all times. He has to be prepared to say, in effect, “I get what I want and need from this relationship, or I’m leaving. You do what you promised, you give me what you promised, or I’m leaving.”

    More to the point, though, he has to know in his own mind and heart that he’ll be OK and that he can eventually replace her if he wants to. Most men are so beaten down that they don’t know this. They don’t even know that “no involvement with women” is an option. They don’t even understand “no woman is better than a bad woman”.

    It never occurs to them, “Hey, you know, I don’t have to take this sh!t. I don’t have to put up with your BS, your temper tantrums, your sexual deprivation, and your all around bad treatment. Being alone would be better than this.” And then go do it. It doesn’t occur to them because of the blue pill / churchian complex keeping these men in mental and emotional prisons.

    One of the things a man needs to do to choose a wife wisely is to know his own value, and withdraw all of it promptly from any woman who can’t or won’t give him what he wants and needs.

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply
    • Red Pill Apostle says:
      2023-05-02 at 2:45 am

      “More to the point, though, he has to know in his own mind and heart that he’ll be OK and that he can eventually replace her if he wants to. Most men are so beaten down that they don’t know this. They don’t even know that “no involvement with women” is an option. They don’t even understand “no woman is better than a bad woman”.”

      The above quote embodies the mindset change that most men need to make before even dating. It requires a man to have the necessary confidence to know he’ll be able to figure it out, to walk through he!! if necessary and come out OK on the other side, and to see women for who they are; not as angelic beings whose virtue causes men to settle down and behave, but as equally depraved sinful creatures whose bent for emotional rationalizing when decision making means God intended them to operate under the authority of a man who cares for them.

      When a man realizes that God’s design is that she needs him more than he needs her (Christ : Church and Husband : Wife) and that she was designed to be his helper and not the other way around, then a man is ready to head out into the world and see if he can find a chick that can help him build a life. If he does not view intersexual dynamics this way and decides to try and “win” himself a wife, his risk of disaster goes up exponentially.

      Liked by 2 people

      Reply
      • redpillboomer says:
        2023-05-02 at 9:35 pm

        “When a man realizes that God’s design is that she needs him more than he needs her (Christ : Church and Husband : Wife) and that she was designed to be his helper and not the other way around, then a man is ready to head out into the world and see if he can find a chick that can help him build a life.”

        Well put. “She needs him more than he needs her…” This needs to be a part of young men’s training, if we RP men ever get a chance to mentor a young man, say beginning in his teens. He needs to learn his value… his value in the long run.

        “Young men,” for you non-Chads out there, it won’t seem like this throughout your twenties, like you’re any kind of “prize” to women, but rest assured, one day you will be. Your female peers are in their “hot girl summer” phase of life. By the end of their twenties, the vast majority will be unmarriageable, unless you want to descend into “hell on earth” with a contentious, entitled female with a body count out the wazoo, and Family court system with judges that back her to the hilt.

        Forget about them, the slores. DEVELOP yourself, your LAMPS (or whatever model the Christian RP men are using), and also learn from older RP men how to properly vet women as you begin to get older (late twenties). And maybe, just maybe with some good guidance (mentoring) and a bit of luck (God’s help would be better), you might find a younger, marriage minded woman who wants to be submissive, start a family and be your helpmeet. Someone who longs to be a wife and mother, not some Chad or Tyrone’s plaything.

        The secular RP world refers to her, this virtuous girl, as a unicorn. She’s a very rare species these days, but like the white tiger, some do exist; however, they are very hard to find now, rare would be an understatement. However, God knows where EVERY “white tiger” is located. That is where God comes into the picture. He’s the “white tiger” meister.

        Oh, and BTW, you need to know Him and have a walk with Him, not a churchian relationship, but a real one, like those young men in the Bible: David, Samuel, Daniel, those kinds of guys. Go read about them. Oh, and also go find those wiser, older Christian RP men to learn from, those guys know what they are talking about. They’re all graduates of the relational school of hard knocks. They’ve “been there, done that.”

        Liked by 1 person

      • Oscar says:
        2023-05-03 at 12:39 am

        RPB,

        “…if we RP men ever get a chance to mentor a young man, say beginning in his teens. He needs to learn his value… His value in the long run.”

        This is why “have confidence” — like “be yourself“ — sounds like BS, but really isn’t.

        I’m 47 now. I’m on my 4th career. I have a long track record of successes, failures, setbacks, and comebacks. When something goes wrong, I can look back on that record and say. “I did it before, I can do it again”.

        But at 27, when I was in college dating my wife? Pffffft.

        At that age it was almost all about potential.

        It takes an almost irrational level of confidence for a young man to tell a young woman, “Here’s where I’m going. I want you to come with me and be my helper.” (It sounds a lot better in Spanish.) And it’s a big step of faith for a young woman to say, “Sign me up!”

        That’s why strength training is so important for young men. When you add five pounds to the bar each workout it doesn’t just build your body, it builds your mind. You get to your last set of squats, you think, “I don’t know if I can do this”, then you get under the bar and just barely make it, seeing stars on the last rep.

        Then you come back the next workout, add five more pounds, and do it again.

        That gives a young man a sense of accomplishment, and a road map to accomplishing big things. That road map is doing increasingly harder things consistently and incrementally.

        Add to that learning to fight, and you have a young man who really stands out from the crowd.

        Liked by 1 person

    • Anti-deti says:
      2023-05-02 at 11:46 am

      I disagree. I neither loved my wife nor was sexually enamored with her when I got married. I married her because she was a smart, hardworking girl that I thought would make for a good partner in life. She loves me, I’m more or less ambivalent. She cooks, cleans, works, and f_cks, while staying out of my way for the most part.

      Like

      Reply
  2. feeriker says:
    2023-05-03 at 12:59 am

    “Almost reads like a woman wrote this comment.”

    Looking at the avatar name, it probably was. I can’t imagine any man choosing it.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
  3. Deep Strength says:
    2023-05-03 at 5:38 am

    “I disagree. I neither loved my wife nor was sexually enamored with her when I got married. I married her because she was a smart, hardworking girl that I thought would make for a good partner in life. She loves me, I’m more or less ambivalent. She cooks, cleans, works, and f_cks, while staying out of my way for the most part.”

    I’ll go a step further. A woman did write that comment.

    “I disagree. I neither loved my wife nor was sexually enamored with her when I got married.”

    A. Very few men, aside from maybe players, won’t marry a woman for love.

    B. Women don’t know how strong a man’s sex drive is. Virtually 100% of men will marry a woman because he is sexually enamored with her.

    The first sentence alone almost assures that a woman wrote it because this woman does not understand the male experience.

    “I married her because she was a smart, hardworking girl that I thought would make for a good partner in life.”

    C. Notice the attributes that this woman describes that she likes in a “woman.” It’s the exact attributes that women like in a man.

    They want a smart, hardworking man that is a good partner in life.

    Very common saying that women say they want. Pure projection.

    “She loves me, I’m more or less ambivalent.”

    D. The woman again projects her own feelings on this imaginary wife. This is why the Bible says men are to love their wives and wives are to respect their husbands. Different needs.

    Men want respect from women not love. If a wife respected and adored her husband, he would love her and not be ambivalent about it.

    “She cooks, cleans, works, and f_cks, while staying out of my way for the most part.”

    E. Finally, the woman attempts again to think like what a man would want, but stumbles in the middle. Yes, men generally want good cooking, cleaning, and sex.

    However, most men absolutely do not care if a woman works and if she’s sweet he definitely doesn’t want her to stay out the way but be around him a lot.

    TL;DR: The troll accounts always give themselves away because they don’t understand the male experience and what men are looking for in the opposite sex. The reason for that is because they literally don’t care, otherwise they would put some effort into learning about what men want and do it.

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply
    • Oscar says:
      2023-05-03 at 5:56 am

      “The reason for that is because the literally don’t care, otherwise they would put some effort into learning about what men want and do it.”

      If they did that, they’d be too busy living a happy life to troll on the internet.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

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  5. feeriker says:
    2023-05-03 at 9:59 am

    The first sentence alone almost assures that a woman wrote it because this woman does not understand the male experience.

    Or perhaps a gay man who married a woman for cover.

    Like

    Reply
  6. The Eye of Sauron says:
    2023-05-03 at 12:06 pm

    The commenter “Anti Deti” is not serious so it doesn’t matter. It reads like a caricature of blue-pill “conservative” cliche bot.

    The person is either:

    One of our regulars, maybe even Deti himself having a laugh. (In which case, its pretty funny)

    A lurker who has been around long enough to know that such a statement would be a sh!t stir (how else would they know to call themselves “Anti Deti.”)

    No matter what, its just silly.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

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