The Value of Feminine Humility

It earns her Dignity, Honor, Love, Peace, and Security.

Readership: All; Younger Men; Single Men; Christian Men; Women interested in getting along well with a man;
Theme: Feminine Submission
Author’s Note: This post is based on a comment I left at Spawny’s Space.
Length: 700 words
Reading Time: 4 minutes

Feminine Humility

Farm Boy posed a good question over at Spawny’s Space: What does it buy? (2021-07-28).

“What does what buy? Humility that is. Why is it that the fellas around these parts put a premium on it?

It is rather simple I think. A humble wife appreciates what she has as well as her husband. From this, working as a team can actually be effective. Does anything more need to be said?”

A humble wife as described here would also have aspects of contentment and submission. She is refreshingly pleasant and surprisingly easy to get along with. A woman like this is truly more precious and rare than rubies.

So what does a wife like this get in return for her humility?

A woman like this has the best chance at getting a husband that would do everything in his power to give her everything she wants and anything he thinks she might want.

This is what humility can buy, should a woman be wise enough to recognize it’s value.

The Absence of Feminine Humility

Most women seem to be unaware of a man’s depth of devotion and purpose when it comes to caring for women in general, but especially for his own wife. Women have a peculiar and self-defeating way of disregarding these altruistic behaviors arising from the better nature of men if they are not shown in very specific ways, by very specific men.

Another way to look at this is to observe the opposite kind of wife, who is unable or unwilling to take her spot in the marriage authority hierarchy. This is a wife who is not content, humble, and submissive. Instead, she is a contentious wife who ignorantly and unknowingly creates a competition in her marriage.

How so?

Most women seem to be unaware of a man’s competitive nature, and how a challenge brings this trait to the fore. When a wife foolishly puts herself in a competition with her husband, then she makes a competitor out of her husband, which means he’ll try to defeat her. When this happens, the husband loses his natural inclination to help, support and uplift his wife. Instead, he sees her as the competition, because that is what she is, and the natural instinct in him to defeat opposing forces and to establish order comes out.

Men are not hard wired to discriminate between the source or the purpose of competition. Thus, when women become contentious, they are basically instigating a competition with a man — a very unwise move on her part.

By doing so, she removes peace from the home so that instead of the home being a place of rest for the family and husband it becomes yet another place in the world where he has to fight to win battles. Over time, the constant competition weighs on him, and he seeks the peace and rest which should be offered within the home and marriage. This means he must take time away from his wife.

His absence is taken by the wife as an affront, as it detracts from the amount of time and attention she receives from her husband. The wife will complain about her absent husband in various ways. She will become ever more contentious in a vain effort to secure the love and attention from her husband that she wants and needs, and he responds by spending more time away from her. The relationship thus goes into a spiraling nose dive.

After the relationship is completely ruined beyond recovery, she will think about the life and home she once dreamed about, not realizing that it was right in front of her all along. But instead of building it up with feminine humility, she tore it down with her own hands.

“The wise woman builds her house,
But the foolish tears it down with her own hands.”

Proverbs 14:1 (NASB)
This entry was posted in Agency, Choosing a Partner or Spouse, Conflict Management, Courtship and Marriage, Discipline, Education, Female Power, Headship and Patriarchy, Intersexual Dynamics, Introspection, Maturity, Personal Growth and Development, Models of Success, Moral Agency, Organization and Structure, Personal Domain, Personal Presentation, Power, Purpose, Relationships, Sexual Authority, Vetting Women. Bookmark the permalink.

42 Responses to The Value of Feminine Humility

  1. Jack says:

    “A woman like this has the best chance at getting a husband that would do everything in his power to give her everything she wants and anything he thinks she might want.”

    They would most likely be a well-matched couple. But this all breaks down if/when her hypergamic instinct informs her that what she wants is a better man. Hubby will find this difficult to deliver, especially if she’s decided it is to be a different man. “Tingles uber all”, and all that.

    Someone might argue that a woman who demands hypergamic satisfaction and/or other wants or needs to be fulfilled is not very humble. If you believe that, then the objection breaks down on this technicality. But if you believe women can be humble and hypergamically hungry at the same time (I do, but maybe not as intensely because it’s less likely to come to that), then the issue stands.

    “This is what humility can buy, should a woman be wise enough to recognize it’s value.”

    Western women are taught to believe they don’t need anything from a man, and they don’t realize their most basic needs (for attention, provision, shelter, sex, etc.) until they’re knocking on The Inconquerable Wall. Even then, humility would help them stick the landing, but I doubt that they would ever realize it, even at that time, nor would they be able to do a 180 in a short amount of time. Anyway, seeing how there is no incentive for exercising humility that gives immediate positive feedback (thereby establishing a method of learning), and considering how women are often chided as “weak” for being humble, it is unlikely that they would ever realize the value of humility if they were not taught such habits from childhood.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Enjoyed reading this, dear brother.

    Peace at home in my six-year marriage is something that I have to fight for — within and without. I fail to comprehend how some women believe in making their homes the most toxic and unpleasant place for their husbands and that they have to hide in their man caves, garages, cars and create excuses just not to be at home. I’ve come to the point where I believe a feminine woman — in the true sense of what is described in the Bible — is a unicorn. All around me, I see women behaving contemptuously towards the men they committed the rest of the lives to with an oath sworn in God’s presence. I see women usurping their husbands in almost everything, marinating themselves in the pride that they could see, feel, and hear things better than their husbands and that the very people they committed the rest of the lives to are incapable of anything and everything related to the family and their lives.

    Feminine pride is one of the main toxic elements that has filled many churches. When was the last time anyone heard a sermon about feminine humility let alone admonishment on feminine pride?

    Liked by 7 people

    • info says:

      Indeed. By all means we be the change we want to see in the world. But for the sake of our brothers and sisters.

      That’s why we must Pray against this. We in our limited power on our own cannot effect much change on our own.

      But God can turn even our little efforts into great waves. If we don’t blare the silver trumpets why should we expect God to fight for us automatically?

      The spiritual reality is before us. So we do all we can to change the situation in our spheres of influence.

      But for what is beyond us. We must call upon God to act before He would act.

      Liked by 2 people

    • Red Pill Apostle says:

      chokingonredpills,

      There was a post by Dalrock that I remember reading regarding contentiousness in his wife. At this particular time in his marriage he did not have a framework to understand why his wife would be terse and snippy with him, but he knew he didn’t want to be around her when she was in that type of mood so he’d leave the home to go fishing or hunting. Eventually, his wife figured out the cause of why her emotions were running amok and started taking control of them. Dalrock’s withdrawing his time and attention was part of the impetus for her introspection.

      I was you at year 6 of marriage. I was foolish and argued for what I wanted. What I should have done was state what my expectations were and then removed myself from Mrs. Apostle’s presence if she became argumentative about it because the one in authority does not argue with those under his authority. This approach would have forced this issue to one of two outcomes, compliance or dissolution of the marriage.

      This is a rather verbose way of telling you to go hunting or fishing or choose other hobbies like fishing or hunting 🙂 so you can begin to rein in the Mrs’ behavior through a process of withholding or giving your time and attention. Make a plan and start acting now because it only get’s harder the longer you delay.

      Liked by 2 people

      • Red Pill Apostle:

        Dear brother, thank you for your comment.

        She has threatened many times she wants separation and divorce (although I had explicitly told her at the start of our marriage that we should never utter that “d” word at any point).

        Withdrawing my attention and time from her has its consequences:
        a. Separation / divorce (which I will refuse for the sake of my two sons; I want them to grow up in a proper, intact family, and spiritually I believe it is not allowed); and

        b. An argument ensues and she gets emotionally triggered and will threaten to kill herself (by jumping out from our 13th-floor home) or self-harm.

        I don’t know what else she can do or is capable of.

        The only time I get to “escape” is when I run errands (e.g., grocery run). I’ve lost contact with most of the people who were my mates before I got married or I am no longer close to them. I can count with one hand the number of times I had gone out to meet friends or buddies.

        The threatpoint of the dissolution of the marriage is one that I want to avoid. I don’t claim to understand women completely but for the one I have been married to, she is capable of anything when she’s emotionally triggered.

        Like

      • Red Pill Apostle says:

        I’ll paraphrase a great quote from Al Bundy, “Bud, don’t try to understand women. Women understand women and they all hate each other.”

        I mentioned this in my other reply to you, but take her threats seriously and make sure you have video documentation of her behavior that is stored in multiple places. An intact family for the kids means having a mother around.

        You may not want divorce, but you sure as he!! better prepare for one, both with evidence of her behavior and mentally. If she has threatened divorce you have to believe that she has been preparing and is preparing to leave you. It’s a matter of the right opportunity coming up to start the dominos falling.

        My brother’s neighbor (I’ll call him Alex) is going through a divorce. His wife planned for months to leave him and take his son with her. When she was ready she instigated an event to provoke him into doing something she could use to claim abuse. When he found her messages with her affair partner and yelled at her, that is what she needed. When he took her phone (that he pays for) to read the messages and locked himself in a room, she beat the door so hard she broke the door and cracked the door frame. She was so emotionally unhinged about being found out she followed him into the garage to keep yelling at him … while she was completely naked. She deleted all the security camera footage of all these events.

        The end result is that she took his 4 year old son and ghosted him for a week before filing abuse charges against him and asking for a restraining order. He didn’t see his son for 2 weeks. It was only that her claims were so inconsistent that her attorney told her to drop the charges because the lies were so blatant.

        Your future could look like Alex’s and you need to protect yourself by documenting EVERYTHING to avoid the downside legal ramifications. Don’t leave your flank unprotected. Also, go reunite with your buddies. You are going to need them whether you stay married or are single. Set up the gathering and buy the first 2 rounds to let them know you are sorry for neglecting them. They’ll forgive you and you’ll have an important part of your community back.

        Liked by 4 people

      • info says:

        Also it’s important to send the evidence you collected to her family and friends who are decent but ignorant of the truth. So that you will also be vindicated in their sight. Just like the Public Trial of Johnny Depp cleared his name in regards to Amber Heard.

        Like

  3. Jack says:

    “Over time, the constant competition weighs on him, and he seeks the peace and rest which should be offered within the home and marriage. This means he must take time away from his wife.”

    “…he responds by spending more time away from her.”

    This reminds me of an old song, performed here by Grungy Grohl.

    If you change the words “Band on the run” to “Man on the run”, the whole song blends right in to the previous topic of Duluth.

    Married Dread Game will only take you so far!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Quiet Desperation says:

    Amen, brothers! Amen!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. By the grace of God, I see this in my wife (36 yrs.) and daughters (married 4 and 9 years). The youngest came across Proverbs 14:1 during pre-marriage counseling and took it very seriously. They both work hard to have great relationships with their husbands. By any standards, they are very good-looking but never flaunt it. They want their husbands to lead and have well-matched relationships. I joke that they aren’t unicorns (not real), but they are narwhals (rare, but real).

    Liked by 3 people

  6. thedeti says:

    Good read.

    The competition aspect is important. We don’t want to compete with our wives. We spend all day competing in the world; we don’t want to have to come home to a contest with a wife. In fact, most of the time we won’t do it. The way most men respond to a wife like this is to shut down, withdraw, and go away, because we are hardwired and conditioned NOT to compete with women.

    When she finally pushes him too hard, he reverts to his competitive nature and will often come out swinging, figuratively and, rarely, literally. Most men will not physically strike or “abuse” their wives. But some will, particularly with a woman who’s up in a man’s face, yelling and screaming at him, confronting him directly.

    Women don’t understand this about men – when a man sees a human creature, yelling, screaming, contentious, fists clenched, eyebrows furrowed, redfaced – that says to us men “DANGER DANGER IMMINENT THREAT OF PHYSICAL HARM OR DEATH. TAKE IMMEDIATE ACTION.” The action we men will usually take is put up our dukes and fight, so that we can neutralize the threat.

    Women: When you are up in your man’s face, you’re threatening him. He sees that as a threat. And he will respond as men do – he will neutralize the threat. Most men neutralize the threat by giving in most of the time. But sometimes when pushed too far, he will respond with overwhelming verbal and physical aggression.

    I watched this with my parents. Mom would browbeat and henpeck dad, and he’d take it and take it and take it. But every six months or so he’d explode at her and shout her down and essentially tell her to sit the F down and shut the F up, right now, and she’d better stop this sh!t right now because I’m not putting up with it anymore g–d—- it. And she’d stop, and she’d be better, for a week or so. And then she’d be back at it with him. Until another six or so months went by and Dad had taken all he could take. And then it would be STFD and STFU, again…. Lather rinse repeat.

    I’m convinced this is what women are seeing when they talk about “abusive” “wife beating” husbands. They’re competing, they’re getting in their husbands’ faces, and trying to “win”. They don’t understand how men see that as an existential threat, someone’s trying to defeat or injure or kill me and I have to neutralize that threat.

    Women: you CANNOT treat your men that way. You CANNOT. You will utterly destroy your relationships this way.

    Liked by 5 people

    • thedeti says:

      I don’t want to hear from women “but I can’t POSSIBLY be a threat to him! He’s so much bigger than me! And I’m NOT threatening him, I’m trying to TALK to him and he’s not LISTENING!”

      No. SHUT UP AND LISTEN TO ME.

      Men are hardwired to see anything getting violent, yelling, screaming, out of control, fists doubled up, spitting out words, as threats. That’s threatening behavior to us. You’re presenting as a threat. Someone acting like that is an immediate physical danger and presents an imminent threat.

      It doesn’t matter that you’re smaller. It doesn’t matter that you’re a woman. It doesn’t matter that you’re his wife. It doesn’t matter that you’re “trying to communicate”. None of that matters. You’re presenting as a threat TO HIM.

      And you need to understand that if you’re going to have relationships with men.

      You are NOT the same as men. You are NOT equals. You are NOT equivalent. He does not see things the same way you do. You need to deal with him on his level, on his terms.

      Liked by 4 people

      • This happened to me about an hour ago.

        Got into a fight with the wife and she threatened to jump down from the kitchen window (we live on the 13th floor) and in my desperation to stop her, I pulled her shirt (that was the only thing I could hold on to to prevent her from jumping down) while carrying our seven-month-old on the other hand. Then she started banging her head against the wall and again, in my desperation to stop her from harming herself, I exerted too much strength when pulling her away from the wall using my right hand while baby was slipping down from my left.

        There is now a visible bruise (from the internal bleeding) on her arm (near her armpit) where my right hand was grasping it to pull her away. She wants to take photos of the bruise as a show of how I had physically hurt her.

        What am I to do?

        Like

      • Red Pill Apostle says:

        thedeti,

        Replace the word “threat” with “challenge” and I think your comment is applicable to a larger percentage of marriages. All women challenge their husbands for control in some aspect of life, but not all of the challenges are necessarily threats to him.

        The issue with challenges is that they move along the spectrum of risk away from peace and harmony end and towards danger. Should a woman get checked and not back down, which is the escalation most modern opt for, now we are headed into threats with a good head of steam.

        The danger is not necessarily physical damage (even though me and Mrs A are closer in size she’d have trouble inflicting anything other than superficial injury due to the massive strength difference), but financial, emotional and legal. These are the reasons that thedeti and I have boundaries in these areas that should the wife cross one results in immediate divorce.

        Liked by 3 people

      • Red Pill Apostle says:

        chokingonredpills,

        You obviously care for her, hence your desire for her not to hurt herself. I believe she is using self harm as a power play against you, but this is not a situation you can risk on the notions of a random man on the ole interweb.

        Here is what I would do. I would set up security cameras so that the behavior can be documented. If she threatens to hurt herself again you need to call the authorities and have them come help. It’s not OK or normal for a person to threaten self harm as a means of leverage in an argument. You need help from people who are better trained to handle this type of situation.

        There are two possible outcomes from this. First, she is serious about self harm and calling the authorities is the beginning of getting her the help she needs. Second, she’s not serious about self harm but is merely being manipulative and the trip to the hospital psychiatry ward, where she will be detained and monitored for her own protection, is you calling her bluff in a manner she didn’t think you had in you. Either way you must err on the side of caution that she is serious, because the risk is too great to ignore.

        You must also protect yourself if in fact she is using power plays. This is indicative of a woman that will go to great lengths for control so claiming you are abusive is very much in the realm of possibilities. Due to this, keep multiple copies of the documentation videos backed up in separate places on the chance she will lie and say you abused her in order to keep power.

        Liked by 1 person

      • thedeti says:

        CORP

        Job 1 is that you must protect the child. Your wife is showing clear signs of mental illness (threatening to jump from a multistory building, banging her head against a wall). She is a danger to herself, and by extension, to you and the child.

        If I were in your position I would not leave her alone with the child. I would do whatever it takes to protect the child, up to and including separating from and divorcing your wife and taking full custody of the child.

        You must document all of this. Document her suicide threat. Document her head banging. If you can, the next time it happens, get the phone out and start recording it. Document it all in writing or by video if you can.

        CORP, you need to address this in your life and the child’s life. Your wife is mentally ill. Threatening to jump from 13 stories up and then banging your head against a wall are not mentally healthy responses to interpersonal conflict. This is not how mentally well people act. And the woman has unfettered access to a baby. No. That cannot be allowed. If YOU were the one acting like this, literally everyone in your lives would be practically begging her to leave you immediately and never allow you near the child again.

        Second: make a record of everything that happens. Everything. Record it and document it. You might want to call police yourself so as to make a record of this and establish that the pattern is one of your wife’s reactions and responses indicative of mental instability. That might make it easier down the road to separate if that needs to be done (and I do think it needs to be done, now).

        Third: Get some help for yourself. You need to talk to someone about this.

        Liked by 2 people

      • RICanuck says:

        Deti, men are physically stronger than women, but..
        it’s not the size of the bitch in the fight, but the size of the fight in the bitch.

        Liked by 1 person

    • thedeti says:

      This isn’t exactly competition. But it is the kind of thing we men see as threatening, or at least concerning. Or, kind of funny.

      I give you the famous “TAKE ME TO THE LAKE!!!!!” video. Skip to 1:25 where she really loses it. (Language warning.)

      Liked by 1 person

      • Red Pill Apostle says:

        He was generous with calling her an 11 year old. She has a substance problem if I heard right. (“I can’t get the oil changed because of the interlock device.”)

        This is 100% a power play on her part and I would suggest is an example of how a woman will compete with her husband for power in an indirect manner. Now it’s not an effective power play with this husband, but it is one just as much as the toddler’s tantrum in the checkout isle is because the parent declines the candy bar request. Think of what the poor man is in for if he caves to her tantrum. He’ll get the same behavior any time she wants something from him and he doesn’t comply.

        chokingonredpills — This is a great example of why you record EVERYTHING with a poorly adjusted woman. She was about to take to social media and make herself into a saint while painting him as a monster. I’m not sure if this is your past, but it very well could be your future. Document everything with video.

        Liked by 2 people

      • redpillboomer says:

        Wow, just wow. That’s all I’ve got to say about that clip.

        Like

    • info says:

      If a woman picks up a weapon like a knife to stab you. She is trying to murder you. Don’t hesitate to pull out all the stops to kill her in self-defense.

      Like

  7. thedeti says:

    Most women seem to be unaware of a man’s competitive nature, and how a challenge brings this trait to the fore. When a wife foolishly puts herself in a competition with her husband, then she makes a competitor out of her husband, which means he’ll try to defeat her.

    Most women are aware of men’s competitive nature. It’s just that they think their husbands won’t deploy that competitive nature in a marriage. It’s also that they think they are equals to men, so they believe they’re competing on equal footing. It’s also that women think any show of male competition is “toxic” and “aggressive” and “macho bullsh!t”, so they try to neutralize it by shaming it as such.

    Women believe this because men’s use of brute force has been totally criminalized and neutralized, especially with respect to women. Men simply cannot use brute force against women. They cannot. They’ll be in a jail cell inside of a day. So in a sense the force/competition playing field has been tilted in women’s favor, causing women to think they can compete on all levels, in all arenas, against men.

    Just another reason men are walking away.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Red Pill Apostle says:

      OK, so women are aware that men are competitive, but they are much less attuned to what triggers the competition, such as challenging him for control of the marriage. Couple this with the notion that men are to lay down their lives for their wife as Christ did for the church that all women cling to and women are woefully ignorant that they could become their husband’s enemy. They then proceed to engage in the same behavior that all of their husband’s foes do and are bewildered as to why the marriage is suffering.

      Men walking away, which is really the absolute level of withholding attention, is the solution both for single and married men. Single men’s least worst outcome in the game is opting not to play. Married men’s least worst outcome is bringing his wife under his headship even if it requires the impetus of withholding attention to make it happen.

      Liked by 2 people

    • Bardelys the Magnificent says:

      I know women who get off on challenging men, because they know the double standard exists. We’re not allowed to beat them, and if we were to beat them in some sort of way, well, we beat a girl, so it doesn’t count or we’re being mean. There are two solutions: beat ’em and leave ’em, or just not play. Either way, you withdraw your attention and resources. Men are figuring this out, and we’re starting to see women screech.

      Liked by 3 people

      • Rock Kitaro says:

        I also wonder if they “get off” on challenging men because of that juvenile tactic of “if I can’t have your love, I’ll settle for your hate”. Meaning, a lot of people like to get under your skin just to have you thinking about them. Which is why a lot of ladies get angry when you just ignore the subtle insults and refuse to engage with the bait to argue.

        Like

      • Red Pill Apostle says:

        100% confirmed Rock.

        Mrs. A admitted to being mean to me because she wanted to see if I would express emotion instead of remaining stoic. Refusing to engage and withdrawing from her presence bothered her.

        She doesn’t do this garbage anymore, but she still wants the attention. If I’ve been busy in my office for a while, she’ll come find out what I’m doing and start a conversation or just sit with me while she’s on her phone.

        Like

  8. Kentucky Gent says:

    *So what does a wife like this get in return for her humility?

    A woman like this has the best chance at getting a husband that would do everything in his power to give her everything she wants and anything he thinks she might want.*

    What is humility? It’s essentially “knowing your place” and acting accordingly.

    In Catholic Mariology, we are taught that the blessed virgin is perfect in the virtue of humility. In return for her cooperation with God’s will, she was crowned queen of heaven in John’s vision.

    Rumor has it that God will not deny her any request. A bad priest who was in a near-fatal auto accident was going to be condemned, but Mary intervened and the priest got to live out a second chance.

    How do we get there? As St. Francis of Assisi said, Start by doing what is necessary; then do what is possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible.

    Like

    • Kentucky Gent says:

      Carriage return negates asterisk! It should have looked like this:

      So what does a wife like this get in return for her humility?

      A woman like this has the best chance at getting a husband that would do everything in his power to give her everything she wants and anything he thinks she might want.

      Like

  9. Jack says:

    There’s been some comments about women screaming, throwing tantrums, and engaging in physical slap-clappery over minor issues. RPA correctly identifies this as an infantile power play.

    NEVER REWARD A WOMAN IN THIS STATE!!! Do NOT give in to her demands!

    It will be worth the effort to go to excessive lengths to prevent her from finding any sort of satisfaction from this behavior. You have to wean her off this habit by making it very unpleasant for her. Soft Dread Game and the silent treatment have been suggested. Tease and shame her for this kind of behavior. Take videos and show them to her family and friends (like the guy in deti’s video did). Remind her of these habits and warn her not to repeat them. Make plans that account for situations in which she might become this way and take precautionary steps.

    Make her see herself the way that you see her — an incorrigible, petulant, problem child that no one wants to be around. Let her know in no uncertain terms that this kind of behavior is altogether UNACCEPTABLE!

    Be as persistent about this as if your soul depends on it (because maybe it does, and hers too). Do it until she wakes up and repents. After she repents, bring it up from time to time and laugh about it.

    Remember that you’re dealing with a child who acts like a grown up sometimes (not the other way around).

    If she has a substance dependency, it will be much more difficult.

    Liked by 2 people

    • info says:

      A child having a tantrum ought to be ignored. Not indulged or reacted to in said throes.

      Even an overtly emotional reaction allows them to perceive that their behavior is working.

      Liked by 1 person

      • ramman3000 says:

        “A child having a tantrum ought to be ignored.”

        That depends on the child.

        Like

      • info says:

        @ramman3000

        Tell us.

        Like

      • Red Pill Apostle says:

        Me and Mrs. Apostle had success moving our kids to isolation. They could pitch whatever fit they wanted by themselves. We started early in life with them and by the time they hit school age childish tirades were almost non-existent.

        Outbursts are almost always attention seeking. You isolate and ignore so that the kid knows they get exactly the opposite of what they want any time they try that garbage.

        Like

      • ramman3000 says:

        Me and Mrs. Apostle had success moving our kids to isolation.

        This is a much more effective strategy for younger kids, and if you raise your children well by the time they are older there is no longer any need to do this. “Timeouts” (sending them into isolation) become mostly obsolete when the kids’ ages reach double digits.

        However, timeouts don’t work nearly as well if your kid is older, or tries to harm themselves, or causes significant structural damage (e.g. smashing holes in walls or doors; burning the house down with a power outlet).

        It depends on the specific situation and the specific child. With adults, you are lucky if the situation allows you to can get away with merely ignoring them.

        Like

      • info says:

        @rammam3000

        Parents can only do so much but at older ages. It can cross into crimes. And could end up becoming a criminal justice issue with the way you are describing certain behaviors of older children especially teenagers.

        Michael Fay was caned for vandalism in Singapore:

        Like

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  13. Rock Kitaro says:

    “When a wife foolishly puts herself in a competition with her husband, then she makes a competitor out of her husband, which means he’ll try to defeat her. When this happens, the husband loses his natural inclination to help, support and uplift his wife.”

    This has been my number one problem in the dating scene. A lot of my potential mates, I end up just being friends with because in those beginning talking stages, before we even get to the first date… they’re so hard wired to compete almost unnecessarily. They’ll say things like, “Oh, so you want your woman to cater to your ego?”

    And once I’ve lost interest, I don’t hold back the truth. I tell them, “Yes. And it’s unfortunate that I’m the one who had to tell you because now, I can’t trust whether you’re genuine or not. It’s like being sad and disappointed with your parents when all you wanted to hear was, “I’m proud of you.” If you tell them that’s what you wanted and only then they say, “I’m proud of you”, it means nothing.”

    Which is why it baffles me how its usually ladies well beyond 30 who still haven’t learned this. Women 10 years or younger, are more opened to not wanting or needing to compete. And I get it. It makes sense. Once you’ve passed a certain age, it makes sense why you’d hold a certain level of self-importance and feel entitled to just-due respect. But that’s why many in the Manosphere cringe when we hear so many ladies prioritize their careers and education. Because when you do, and as you gain all that “experience,” you’re essentially reducing your pool of acceptable men you’re willing to “cater” to. You’ll feel you’re above so many.

    Whereas with men… even if a man does feel he’s “above”… I’d argue to an extent that this is the natural order. That’s why when a man’s being bossy, we call him “bossy”. But when a woman’s being bossy, even from other females, she’s called “being a b***h”. It’s just out of place.

    Alright. Let me scroll up and read the dozens of comments from everyone else now.

    Liked by 1 person

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