It’s not about the money (anymore). It’s just for the sheer fun of it all!
Readership: All Reader’s Note: This post continues discussing The Rise of the Amateur Sex Industry (2021 January 4). Readers may like to read this post first before continuing.
During my research on the topic of OnlyFans, I came across this article about Belle Delphine.
Recently, she decided to step into porn, presumably to beef up her OnlyFans account with racier content.
The subtext in the video reads,
Belle Delphine had a big holiday this year. The popular OnlyFans star and cosplayer ended up getting more into viral content on the platform when she dropped her first boy-girl porn film she’d been teasing for more about a month before its leak.
She talked about enjoying filming the porn “more than [she] thought [she] would” and also explained exactly why she is expanding the content on her Only Fans account, noting,
Well, as you know I have been doing my OnlyFans for quite a while. It’s all fun; it’s all interesting, all good, but it kind of — I’m getting a bit bored. I like doing everything. I like dipping my toe in every single thing. I’ve always kind of been sexually explorative. I’ve done quite a few things in my personal life; [laughing] I feel like I kind of want to try everything.
Doing this kind of work as it is is quite stressful on a relationship. Because this is such a personal job. And being naked so much in front of your partner kind of takes a lot of the sexual element out of it. Because it can’t be sexual every single time.
The article states,
“The move into porn also gave Belle Delphine a chance to direct on a larger scale and to be creative, something that Bella Thorne also commented on when she got into the porn business.
A porn director’s role? Seems that she likes to be in control.
Delphine, on the other hand, actually starred in her own video along with setting up the scenes, budgeting and more. These days, she’s even becoming an expert at lighting.
Speaking to Logan Paul and his pal Mike Majlak on the Impaulsive podcast, Belle Delphine got candid about the work she is doing online.
Belle Delphine Stars In Her First Adult Movie – IMPAULSIVE EP. 242 – YouTube
Belle Delphine spoke on a lot of subjects during the podcast. For example, she went on to explain that in her personal life she’s tried things like Swingers clubs and more and that she’s actually creating the porn content with her boyfriend for the OnlyFans account. But the job has come with stressors on her relationships, which she also opened up about.
She called the explicit content she is making “sh!t for family,” as in, not sh!t for the family, but stuff one’s family would not really want to be connected with, noting that the content she puts up on OnlyFans has somewhat strained some of her relationships, including her relationship with her mother. But she also feels the boy-girl video she created is “no different” than what she’s really currently doing on OnlyFans; to which Logan Paul later called her a “pacemaker,” noting that she and others on OnlyFans are shifting the power and money in porn straight into their pockets and not into the pockets of companies.
But Belle Delphine is making a lot of money. She also revealed to Logan Paul that she is making about $1 million a month, which is a huge number for anyone on OnlyFans. Prior, we’d really only gotten hints about what some celebrities were pulling in with initial stats from Tyga and even Bella Thorne’s first weeks on the platform. However, both of those are celebrities who kicked off with high numbers on the platform and have remained popular since.
As for the explicit content she’s been producing as a whole, that’s part of her OnlyFans account, which is currently available for $35 bucks a month — or 5% off if you opt for three months.
After she already got rich from selling her bathwater, and is now making $1 million a month off of OnlyFans, she’s not about to hang up her pink headphones and retire.
Notice that she’s not at all concerned about how this might affect her reputation or her future employability. Most of her concern is how it affects her relationships with various people.
All incentives, no apparent penalties. What is there not to like?
Readership: All Reader’s Note: This post continues discussing The Rise of the Amateur Sex Industry (2021 January 4). Readers may like to read this post first before continuing. In this series, prostitution is defined as the sale of either (1) sexual services, (2) faux relationships (calculated by the hour, number of messages, etc.), or (3) personalized, self-produced, sexually titillating media content — for cash. Length: 1,940 words Reading Time: 6 minutes
Introduction
In past essays, NovaSeeker and I have mentioned several motivating reasons why women enter into the Online Amateur Sex Industry and Socialization (OASIS).
To recap what has been said before, plus a few more I have added to the list, OASIS is attractive to women for the following reasons.
Easy, convenient, sanitized, sexualized attention and social affirmation.
The world wide web has allowed a seemingly infinite supply of male attention in socio-sexual terms. The amount of attention can run into the thousands, and for some women, the millions.
It feeds the strong, unique need of females to appear like they have a high SMV and to feel sexy about themselves.
In successful scenarios, a woman can exercise her perceived “right” to social and financial independence, as well as sexual autonomy, which yields a gratuitous ego rush.
The disintermediation has removed the seedier social elements of the sex industry, e.g. the strip club owner, pimp, or pornographer.
Women can access a source of immediate cash income on their own terms rather than on the dictated terms of the unsavory, demanding, and abusive pimps and madams.
The associated risks to reputation and bodily harm are altogether removed.
There is absolutely no risk of running afoul of the law.
The online interaction is comfortable for women, allowing them the convenience and privacy of working from home and through the computer/smart phone.
The nature of internet social media sanitizes the interaction with the client by making it virtual rather than in person.
Women can choose who they want to partner with in producing their photo shoots and market promotion.
For those wimmin who go “all the way”, modern methods of birth control (i.e. the hormonal birth control pill, the “morning after” pill, abortion, IUDs, etc.) eliminate the risks of pregnancy and contracting STDs.
The feministic influences over society have removed much of the shame and taboo of showcasing one’s body and marketing sexual services for cash.
Activities and transactions can be kept discreet and confidential.
Meeting clients in person is entirely optional, and subject to personal discretion.
The woman always has the option to quit or resume at any time.
The Frame of Behavioral Psychology
The 80/20 rule states that 80% of women are only attracted to (and banging) the top 20% of men. This rule, which is well known around the ‘sphere, originated from a Pareto distribution. Data from OKTrends (from OKCupid) and other estimates confirmed this estimate. A more precise analysis from a couple years ago places the exact figure at 78/22.
But this was all from a few years ago. With the rise of OASIS, this is now changing!
If we view this phenomenon through the lens of behavioral psychology, we can understand the reason why wimmin are now quite happy to run towards the OASIS, even though it requires sexual transactions with low SMV males, which is quite loathsome for the average female.
Here, we’ll break down the list in the previous section by looking at the aspects of Learning Psychology (Reinforcement, Escape, Consequences, and Penalties) that are involved with young wimminz decision to go skinny dipping in the OASIS.
Positive Reinforcement (AKA Reinforcement):
This occurs when a behavior (response) is followed by a stimulus that is appetitive or rewarding, increasing the frequency of that behavior. There are many strong Positive Reinforcements which would entice women to start a business on OnlyFans.
Easy, convenient, sanitized, sexualized attention and social affirmation.
The world wide web has allowed a seemingly infinite supply of male attention in socio-sexual terms. The amount of attention can run into the thousands, and for some women, the millions.
It feeds the strong, unique need of females to appear like they have a high SMV and to feel sexy about themselves.
In successful scenarios, a woman can exercise her perceived “right” to social and financial independence, as well as sexual autonomy, which yields a gratuitous ego rush.
The online interaction is comfortable for women, allowing them the convenience and privacy of working from home and through the computer/smart phone.
Women can choose who they want to partner with in producing their photo shoots and market promotion.
Meeting clients in person is entirely optional, and subject to personal discretion.
The woman always has the option to quit or resume at any time.
Negative Reinforcement (AKA Escape):
This occurs when a behavior (response) is followed by the removal of an aversive stimulus, thereby increasing that behavior’s frequency. There are many Negative Reinforcements (AKA Escape) which make online prostitution easier and more rewarding.
The disintermediation has removed the seedier social elements of the sex industry, e.g. the strip club owner, pimp, or pornographer.
Women can access a source of immediate cash income on their own terms rather than on the dictated terms of the unsavory, demanding, and abusive pimps and madams.
The associated risks to reputation and bodily harm are altogether removed.
There is absolutely no risk of running afoul of the law.
The nature of internet social media sanitizes the interaction with the client by making it virtual rather than in person.
For those wimmin who go “all the way”, modern methods of birth control (i.e. the hormonal birth control pill, the “morning after” pill, abortion, IUDs, etc.) eliminate the risks of pregnancy and contracting STDs.
The feministic influences over society have removed much of the shame and taboo of showcasing one’s body and marketing sexual services for cash.
Activities and transactions can be kept discreet and confidential.
Positive Punishment (AKA Punishment, or Consequence):
This occurs when a behavior (response) is followed by a stimulus, such as a shock or loud noise, which results in a decrease in that behavior.
In the past, there were several forms of punishment that existed for wimmin who chose to slurp from the OASIS. But now, no more.
Women were once unable to support themselves financially and assume real independence. They were largely dependent on men for food, shelter, and income. The OASIS, along with other “equal opportunities”, supplants this material source.
If a woman was found to be pregnant out of wedlock, there was a social stigma attached to the entire family. This once serious issue was transformed into a non-issue through the crowning “achievement” of 2nd Wave Feminism which brought the widespread public recognition and increased acceptance of the pro-choice rationale, legalized abortion (Roe vs. Wade, 1973), and the late-term, and partial-birth abortion practices.
Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs) were once a strong incentive to discourage wimmin from drinking tainted waters. Since those days, many pharmaceuticals have been introduced for the prevention and treatment of STD’s, thus expanding women’s sexual proclivities.
Laws and public opinion toward racial miscegenation kept women drinking from their own cisterns. This is now seen as entirely rayciss.
Negative Punishment (AKA Penalty, or “Punishment by Contingent Withdrawal”):
This occurs when a behavior (response) is followed by the removal of a stimulus, such as taking away a child’s toy following an undesired behavior, resulting in a decrease in that behavior.
Like the consequences listed above, many penalties once existed for wimmin who behaved badly.
A social norm that depicted women as wives, mothers and homemakers, and which ostracized wimmin that didn’t fit the traditional mold.
Female discrimination and favoritism in the work force had deleterious effects for wimmin who went a swimmin.
Feminism has removed all fear of s1ut shaming and social repercussions.
We might imagine that there would be a “Marriage Strike” against women who dabbled in the pool and thus became unfit for marriage. But Dalrock put this myth to rest. Instead of a Marriage Strike, men are dealing with this risk through cohabitation and postponing marriage.
The opportunity of becoming a mother was once a huge motivator for women to prepare themselves for marriage, but now, most modern women see children as being more of a curse than a blessing. The abortion statistics prove it. In the USA, there are over 3,000 abortions every day. Nearly half of all pregnancies in the USA are unintended, and 22% of all pregnancies in the USA (excluding miscarriages) end in abortion.
Likewise, all of these penalties have gone the way of Cain.
The Flight of Cain by Fernand Cormon (1880)
Extinction:
This occurs when a behavior (response) that had previously been reinforced is no longer effective. For example, a rat is first given food many times for lever presses. Then, in “extinction”, no food is given. Typically, the rat continues to press more and more slowly and eventually stops, at which time lever pressing is said to be “extinguished.”
Women were once subject to conscience about their life choices. But now, conscience is regarded to be a pesky visceral embodiment of prudishness which prevents one from executing the Fear of Missing Out (FOMO). The reasons for this malady are many.
The lack of role models who are chaste wives and homemakers.
Widespread pornography, sex, and violence has been glorified in the media, and this oversaturation of stimulus has deadened the sensitivity to the perils of fornication and violence.
The shame and guilt surrounding fornication has been displaced with the idea that sex and commitment are not concomitant, viz. “Free Love”, as popularized by the Hippies of the Boomer Generation, “Friends” and “Sex and the City” among Xers, and the liberal “Independent Woman” of the current era.
Over time, and with popular acceptance, these cultural influences have allowed females to ignore their consciences and give in to the internal and external pressures to explore money making opportunities like OASIS, and exercise female sexual hypergamy in general.
Conclusions
To answer the question of why women dive into the OASIS, they do it because…
There are many strong Positive Reinforcements which draw them in and reward them handsomely.
There are many Negative Reinforcements (AKA Escape) which make it easier and more rewarding.
There is no immediate Positive Punishment (AKA Consequence) for getting involved.
There is no Negative Punishment (AKA Penalty, or “Punishment by Contingent Withdrawal”) that would deter them.
For decades, there has been a society wide Extinction of the ideal archetype of femininity — The affectionate, submissive wife, the kind-hearted, loving mother, and the frugal diligent homemaker from public consciousness.
All of these spell out a strong motivation for wimmin to slore online, and a lack of correction that would inhibit them from becoming p0rn queens, nor teach them better behaviors.
“Collectively, our biggest fear isn’t that our daughters will become whores, but that they won’t become whores. We just tell ourselves whoring is good so long as no money changes hands.”
Readership: All Reader’s Note: This post continues discussing The Rise of the Amateur Sex Industry (2021 January 4). Readers may like to read this post first before continuing. In this series, prostitution is defined as the sale of either (1) sexual services, (2) faux relationships (calculated by the hour, number of messages, etc.), or (3) personalized, self-produced, sexually titillating media content — for cash. Length: 2,670 words Reading Time: 9 minutes
Introduction
In The Rise of the Amateur Sex Industry, I described the dynamic whereby the internet’s ability to disintermediate — or to remove the “middle-man” in any given distribution channel for a specific good or service — has permitted women and their customers to create a new, amateur online sex industry that does not involve the traditional “middle men” of the “brick and mortar” sex industry — that is, pimps and madams, strip club owners, and pornographers.
In addition to its inherent ability to disintermediate, the internet, by its nature, has the power to aggregate things into large numbers that would normally, without the presence of the internet, be present in any one place in only small numbers.
In this post, we’ll briefly examine the microeconomic theory behind internet-based aggregate marketing, to explain how internet queens can rake in thousands of dollars a month.
“A Thousand Points of Light” … or, er, rather more like 104 million of them, but we’ll get to that shortly …
The Internet Expands Aggregate Marketing
In the business world, the internet’s power of aggregation has created new business models, with new pricing schemes, that are designed to take advantage of the new, extremely large, potential market size created by an internet that is literally present in the pockets of billions of people.
While traditional business models have focused on both growing the customer base and increasing revenue and profit generated per customer, the assumption behind traditional business models was that there were certain “realistic caps” on the market size, arising from the inherent limitations on the ability to reach people everywhere, due to geographic spread. Marketing tended to be more targeted, with a smaller market size being the focus, and therefore the business plans and economic models tended to focus on maximizing revenue and profits per customer, in light of the presumed limitations, at some point, on the ability to continue to grow the potential market reach.
The internet fundamentally changed this by providing businesses with the ability to access a market that was extremely larger, in potential size, than had ever before been the case, thanks to the number of people who were connected to the internet all the time after the rise of the smartphone in 2011 and thereafter. This had the effect of reducing marketing costs, and increasing market size, which somewhat changed the approach to economic modeling in certain industries. Specifically, in markets where the product or service could be provided virtually or electronically, the sheer size of the new internet market made it possible for business models to begin to be developed which were based around the size of the market, and leveraging that size itself, rather than focusing on maximizing the revenue and profit generated by each customer.
Case Study 1: The QTπ Conglomerate
Some of the more salient manifestations of this have related to the rise of the “LGBT” movement, that was largely facilitated by the growth of the internet, which took a group which is relatively small in any one place (outside of certain outlier concentrations like San Francisco and Manhattan), and aggregated it into a not small number, overall, by means of the internet drawing every LGBT person, wherever located, into one movement, with one face, and one voice. This amplifies political power considerably, as we have seen, in a way that would simply have been unthinkable for this group, and especially for certain parts of it (like the “T” wing), which have dramatically benefited from the power of aggregation.
How Aggregate Marketing Works — Freebies and Whales
In a business model that is based on aggregation, the general approach is to provide free or low-cost access to a product or service as a baseline, and then to provide selective upsells that are priced very much to the profit-fat upside. The core idea is to provide an attractive enough baseline “free” (or “low cost”) product so as to have a large market penetration and a large group of people that can then be directly marketed for upsells, which are more aggressively priced and drive almost all of the profit generated by the business activity.
These models tend to generate 80%+ of their total profits from these upsells, which are often made to less than 5% of the total customer base. These customers are known as “whales”, because they are the “big fish” in the customer base. They spend a LOT more than the average customer does, and therefore can provide most of the profit for a given business, even where 95% of the customers are paying nothing or a small access fee.
The salient anatomy of a newly-discovered species: the Internet Whale
Case Study 2: A Hypothetical Example of Aggregate Marketing
Let’s suppose a company provides access to a video game for free. And let’s say it attracts 100,000 customers to play for free. At the same time, it creates a “pay shop” in the game that contains various items that either may speed up the advancement of the players in the game, or give the players a certain, limited and distinctive cosmetic appearance in the game, or additional “quality of life” options during gameplay, or what have you, and prices these in such a way that every player who uses the shop spends at least $10. And let’s suppose that, on average, 10% of the total number of the game’s players ever buy anything at all from the shop, and that the average spend of these players at the shop is $20.
This game would then be producing, in revenue, $200,000. From that $200,000, it would need to pay for its development cost, and the cost of producing new virtual products for sale, but let’s assume that this provides comfortable profitability (or that the numbers are adjusted to do so). The critical point is that the game company is managing to do this while monetizing only 10% of its players, and with 90% of them not paying a dime to play the game.
If the game company had decided to charge an access fee of, say, $10 per month, let’s assume that its customer base would have dropped by 90%, to 10000 customers. At that point it would be making $100k. That sounds like a drastic drop in customers, and therefore unrealistic, but in fact this is precisely the degree of difference between participation rates in things that cost a baseline fee and things that have free access. The free access spikes participation rates dramatically — humans really, really like free stuff!
What this does is permit the company to focus on growing the overall market size and penetration, knowing that even without monetizing a higher percentage of its customer base, it will still increase its revenues and profits substantially simply by growing the size of the overall customer base. So in our initial example, if the number of players rises from 100k to 200k, the total revenue of the game similarly doubles in lockstep from $200k to $400k, without making any assumption about increasing the monetization rate at all or doing anything other than increasing the total number of players.
The importance of the proper identification of a whale’s sub-species
Based on this baseline concept — making most of your revenue and profits from a small percentage of your customers, your “whales” — a number of variant models can be utilized to optimize the overall ROI of the business. These can include charging a nominal fee, or even a larger fee (if the market demonstrates it can bear it), which mixes the kinds of revenue streams together, providing both a baseline “floor” of revenues per month, as well as more variable, and more profit-rich, sales to whales at the same time. A clever and perceptive, and adaptive, proprietor will be able to adjust the model to optimize what they are seeing as demand, in order to generate the most efficient rate of return and reach their profit and revenue goals more effectively, adjusting pricing as needed to address over or under-shooting the actual demand, and the price sensitivity of that demand, in real time.
Applying this to OnlyFans
One of the interesting things about OnlyFans is that the women who participate in it as “content creators” are generally unabashed by what they are doing and are remarkably open about it. Many of them are participating under their real names, and are connected to a broader social media presence on Instagram and YouTube under the same names. In addition, a number of them are quite open about what they are earning from the OnlyFans activities, and seem quite proud of their accomplishments in this regard. This relative openness sheds a remarkable degree of light on the economic practices of OnlyFans content creators.
Case Study 3: Makayla Samountry — a Representative Case
In his recent post Why is the Online Sex Industry Attractive to Women, Jack, in his discussion of the amount of money available to women who choose to participate in OnlyFans, described the situation of Makayla Samountry. Samountry, currently 25, is a college grad and a minor social media personality based in Minnesota, with a social media following that is comfortably above average for a non-celebrity (70k followers on YouTube, 15k on Instagram, and on down from there) but not spectacularly sky-high.
In January 2020, Samountry began an “experiment” by trying her hand at OnlyFans, and vlogged about it on her YouTube channel, in the video that Jack linked in his post. As Jack mentioned, in her first month on OnlyFans, Samountry did fairly well for a newcomer, earning around $1100 that first month.
Samountry continued with her “experiment”, as a review of her YouTube channel reveals. In June 2020, she disclosed on YouTube that she had earned, by then, around $30k, and her monthly take was up to around $4500 (an annualized level of $54k). By late October 2020, she relates that she had earned around $70k on OnlyFans year-to-date, which means that she had increased her take, after June, to around $10k per month (annualized $120k).
How does she earn this money? What is her business and pricing approach?
She actually describes this in some detail on her YouTube videos in response to questions received from her readers/viewers, and as assistance to aspiring would-be “content creators” on OnlyFans. Samountry charges a fairly high access fee of $26 per month (many OF sites are free or have a nominal access charge of $5 or $10), but she makes a large portion of her money from her “upsells”.
What are these? According to one of her YouTube videos, Samountry packages sets of racier images — which she insists are not pornography! — in sets of 3-6 images for prices that range from $50 to $150, with a few choice options retailing for $200. She helpfully explains that her pricing escalates based on how “explicit” she thinks the image is, how customized it is, and so on, with the higher price tags attaching to more titillating material, but all off it is apparently solo pictures — no “hardcore” images or videos whatsoever — which is probably why she claims it is “not porn”.
“When you were young, and your heart life was an open book ….”
Readers can judge for themselves the relative beauty of Samountry. In fact, she jokes in one of her YouTube videos about how she gets notes from men criticizing her for not being attractive enough to be on OnlyFans — a criticism she dismisses with a laugh and a handwave. And, to be honest, since she has earned a substantial amount on OnlyFans, I have to agree with her dismissal of the criticism — whatever one may think of Samountry, she is making a good deal of money selling pictures of herself on OnlyFans, regardless of what some men think of her beauty level.
This again serves to emphasize a core truth: a woman does not have to be a consensus, world-class beauty or famous personage to make a good amount of money on OnlyFans. She only needs to be smart about what she is marketing, and aggressive in her pricing, and it appears that Samountry is both.
On the Internet, the Sky Really Is the Limit
It is one thing for a smart and enterprising young woman to hustle her way to $100k on the internet, but really — how high can this get for girls who are on OnlyFans? Isn’t this just an example of an outlier-type level of return?
Well …. the internet is a really big place. Really big.
As Jack pointed out in the comments under his post last week, OnlyFans has surpassed 100 million users — currently the OnlyFans online tracker lists just under 104 million user accounts, and as of late 2020 there were just over 1.5 million content creator accounts. For comparison, Twitter has 330 million users. This means that OnlyFans, a site focused on monetized private pornography, has about 1/3 of the users that Twitter, one of the largest internet communication platforms, does.
By any measure, OnlyFans is a truly massively sized market. It is an outstanding place to execute a business strategy based on some form of aggregation — either by providing a free site, or by charging a nominal price (60% of OF sites charge between $5 and $15 per month), and taking in a lot of additional revenue by means of upsells, tips and the like. And some women who have already very large followings, like certain professional porn actresses, can command a lot of revenue based on subscription fees alone — onlysearcher.com reports that the single highest earner of subscription fees is a professional porn actress who has earned, to date, $460k on subscription fees alone, leaving aside tips, upsells and the like, which are not reported.
But it can get higher than that.
Do you know who I am?
Case Study 4: Belle Delphine, Whale Huntress Extraordinaire
Belle Delphine is a 21-year old British/South African young woman who came to prominence as a streamer of video games on the Twitch gaming livestream service, because she managed to sell her bathwater to her followers for a great profit. She recently disclosed to media that she is earning around £1 million per month on OnlyFans (which is around $1.36 million).
Delphine, who, despite her celebrity from Twitch, seems to appeal to a niche market, appears to earn her money through a hybrid model. She charges $35 as a subscription fee, which is very high (top 5% of all pricing for OF subscription fees), but she isn’t on the top ten list of subscription fee generators — almost all of the women on that list charge a low subscription fee to generate a large number of subscribers and benefit from the aggregation effect I describe above. Rather, Delphine must earn her extraordinary OnlyFans income mostly by means of upsells and tips — to the tune of something close to £1 million per month! And this is from people who are already paying a $35 monthly access fee!
In other words, Delphine is a whale hunter — and an exceptionally good one at that.
Essentially, what Belle Delphine is doing is hunting the whales in the entire user base of OnlyFans, rather than trying to maximize the size of her own subscriber base — because she would certainly have a larger subscriber base if she charged a more typical access fee.
In effect, Delphine is instead leveraging the aggregate marketing potential of the entire user base of the OnlyFans site, and is hunting for the whales in that entire base, to assemble a subscriber base comprised almost entirely of whales! Regardless of what one thinks of Delphine and her brand of anime/fetish-schtick, she has one heck of an intelligent strategy, and one that has been nearly flawlessly executed.
If you were me, you’d be smiling, too!
And that, gentlemen, is truly the power of aggregation in the hands of a skilled operator!
Conclusion: Money, Money, Everywhere!
On the internet, the sky really is the limit, and OnlyFans, by virtue of the enormous size of its market, provides a large pool of money for a large number of women to draw on, to a greater or a lesser extent — dipping in for a few thousand dollars, or a hundred thousand, or even more, on an annualized basis, depending on how hard they are willing to work the site. Notably, Delphine herself admits to working the site very hard indeed on a daily basis, making as many as 30-40 interactions daily on her OF site. (What can you say? The girl knows how to take care of her whales!)
Finally, what’s in this for OnlyFans itself? Why does OnlyFans provide this menacing, corrupting den of iniquity that is silently rippling through our culture currently?
Twenty percent!
OnlyFans takes 20% of all revenues from all content creators, bar none. Simply put, the owners of OnlyFans are getting very, very rich at the moment. In an industry where the actual profitability has been dwindling for years due to the ubiquitous availability of “free” porn, OnlyFans stands in marked contrast. And it’s growing like wildfire.
My next post in this series will take a deep dive look at one specific case of how the new landscape of the online amateur sex industry can impact a marriage in a way that was simply not possible even 5 years ago.
Because it’s the best cost per benefit option – or so it seems.
Readership: Men Reader’s Note: This post continues discussing The Rise of the Amateur Sex Industry (2021 January 4). Readers may like to read this post first before continuing. In this series, prostitution is defined as the sale of either (1) sexual services, (2) faux relationships (calculated by the hour, number of messages, etc.), or (3) personalized, self-produced, sexually titillating media content — for cash. Length: 3,230 words Reading Time: 11 minutes
Introduction
To answer the eponymous question, I’ll go after the question of why male thirst is skyrocketing, and how the Online Amateur Sex Industry and Socialization (OASIS) sates this desire.
Speaking of the end times (which I believe we have been living in for the past century or so), Jesus said,
“And because lawlessness will abound, the love of many will grow cold.”
1 But this know, that in [the] last days difficult times shall be there; 2 for men shall be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, evil speakers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, profane, 3 without natural affection, implacable, slanderers, of unsubdued passions, savage, having no love for what is good, 4 traitors, headlong*, of vain pretensions, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God;
* Headlong is an old English adjective translated as brash and impulsive.
The idea in these passages that I want to point out is that those who are fallen (including both men and women) are devoid of natural affection. And as the years roll on, there is an ever growing segment of humanity who fall into this description. Yet, their own need for love and affection does not abate in the slightest.
In fact, the human desire for love and affection is, in itself, quite natural and good. But when subjugated to the continual deprivation of the same, human beings only grow more ravenously desperate and depraved.
Men hope to fall in love with a woman, and to discover a deep soul bond with her. However, women who have been indoctrinated by feminism and/or despoiled by the SMP are wholly unable to offer such an experience to men. Yet, the decline in the supply does not reduce the demand in the slightest, but instead, it only exacerbates it. So modern men are strongly driven to go hunting for such an experience, and will find a small measure of contentment in whatever they might find, even if it is merely a fleeting sentimental imitation.
So going back to the question, why does a man drink from the OASIS? There is no need to point out the obvious answer – utterly desperate male thirst during the most severe sex drought of the modern era. Guys who can find a satisfying relationship with one woman aren’t going to risk that by fooling around with online sex, and Chads who have good options with multiple women view the online transaction as somewhat juvenile. However, there are plenty of men left who are not in either of those categories, and there are a few other reasons not related to raw sexual desire.
With this in mind, let’s review a number of other reasons that have been offered by several commenters about why men are drawn to the mirage of the OASIS. I’ve compiled these reasons into four basic flavors:
It’s a pragmatic alternative to the failed SMP/MMP.
It’s smooth and easy.
The personalization fits the fantasy.
It’s a throwaway option.
The Failed SMP/MMP Drives Men to Alternate Sources
TheDeti concisely described the debacle of the modern Marriage Marketplace.
“You can’t have a functional marriage marketplace where the objective has a 50% failure rate, where the risks are enormous compared to the paltry benefits, and where one party (the man) will bear almost all the costs of failure.
You can’t have a functional marriage marketplace where the man bears all the burdens and obligations and gets no benefits; and where the woman reaps all the benefits with no concomitant burdens or obligations.
You can’t have a functional marriage marketplace where the man can’t get the one benefit he’s supposed to get [only] from marriage (regular, decent, non-resentful, non-grudging sex at reasonable intervals from a woman who actually wants to give it to him), but you still demand that he bear all the burdens and obligations.
You can’t have a functional marriage marketplace where the demand for sex vastly outstrips the willing supply, and where the suppliers refuse to provide that supply.”
The thing is, the Sexual Marketplace (SMP) has converged with the Marriage Marketplace (MMP). For the past 20 years or so, men are finding that they can’t get break into the MMP without first succeeding in the SMP. This is an accumulated consequence of the sexual revolution, and is no less the case among Christians, unfortunately. The OASIS fills in the blank left by the modern MMP by offering men a back door into the SMP, even if only a virtual one. This practical improvisation, however, does not usually lead to marriage. It only gives men an immediate relief, and the false sense that they’re making some advances in their sexual lives.
For many men, this is the “best” they can do, given the present condition of the SMP/MMP.
It’s Smooth and Easy
My previous post, Why is the online amateur sex industry attractive to women? (2021 January 6), described how smooth and easy OASIS is for women. Similar to how OASIS gives women all the benefits without all the hassle, OASIS does the same for men, but for different reasons.
The OASIS offers a convenient, privatized transaction. A man would consider a one-time expense to be preferable over the constant pilfering and unexpected on-the-spot demands for cash that are typical for having a wife or girlfriend in tow. On this, Deti said,
This is men doing what they need to do to get sex or facsimiles/imitations thereof. They used to have to take women on dates at great cost of time and money. Now, they do porn/camgirls/OF, and the more affluent get lite prostitutes, er… sugar babies.
It is also somewhat predictable. The transactional nature of subscribing to an OnlyFans account carries an implicit guarantee that the man will get something reminiscent of the thrills he wants and expects from a woman.
Thus, a man can break into the SMP without having to involve himself in the responsibilities and headaches of having to engage in a real relationship with a woman. No disrespect, no approach anxiety, no fear of rejection, no auto-rejection, no buyer’s remorse, no ghosting or flaking, no Gaslighting, no $ћit tests, no mind games, and probably not much Bulverizing. If he so wishes, he can get to “know” a woman (in the Biblical sense) without any of his family or friends’ knowledge.
Furthermore, he can avoid all the cut throat competition of the SMP. This means that he doesn’t need to develop his career, improve his social skills, work out at the gym, hammer out game techniques, spend money on a looksmax wardrobe, or do any of the other things that would make him more attractive to women.
The importance of being able to avoid the fear of competition, comparison, and/or rejection cannot be understated, because for most all men, this is the biggest hurdle that blocks their entrance into the SMP. Namely because, as mentioned in the intro, modern women can be very unloving and unforgiving. If the man is ostensibly sub-par in her haughty opinion, she’ll cut him off at the knees for no good reason at all. In fact, this is how women maintain preselection.
“You may recall the high profile case of New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft and 24 other men who were charged with paying employees of a massage parlor to perform sex acts. The charges were eventually dropped, but the women involved reached plea deals and paid fines. Authorities take the soliciting of another to commit prostitution seriously and will prosecute.
On the other hand, the payment to a sugar baby is strictly for her time and companionship, as may be stated in any agreement involving the transfer of money to her account. What actually rakes place (sex) between the sugar baby and her sugar daddy is between two consenting adults and not related to the transfer of money.”
If Kraft had spent $800 an hour to see an internet escort, you and I would never know about it, but instead he chose to opt for a $100 BJ at a massage parlor that was already being chased by the cops. As is often the case with the wealthy, they can be incredibly, and surprisingly, cheap when it comes to some things, and in this case it cost him some reputation. It would have been better for him to pay a little more money in order to have a “smoother” transaction.
The Personalization
Cameron232 asked a good question that paddles up the effluent river.
“I get why men pay for actual prostitutes (sad and sinful as it is) but why do they pay for online viewing? If you have internet access, you’re 0.13 seconds away from nude pics and videos of girls for free. It’s been that way for 25 years now.”
They pay for online viewing because it’s personalized. OF, camgirls, premium pornsites, and even pornstars now are personalizing things for viewers. Paying subscribers get perks that the “free” subscribers don’t get, and most of it has to do with personalized content. They have preferred viewers, and give “prime” and “exclusive personalized content” to paid subscribers.
Yes, it’s basically “fake, paid dating”. If a woman can offer a convincing spiel, enough to make a man feel like it fulfills his fantasy, then this is good enough for those men who are lonely and desperate. The selling point is in fleshing out the fantasy. Men’s fantasies might be any of the following…
Being treated right by a woman.
Getting a taste of (faked) female respect.
The ego stroke of having the companionship of an attractive and polite female.
The confidence of interacting with an attractive woman whom he knows won’t reject him (at least not during that date).
The humbling yet exhilarating experience of falling in love.
Simply just having beastly rutting sex with a woman who’s paid to smile and not grimace.
Whether or not the woman can fit the fantasy all depends on how well the girl “hustles” with her honeycraft skills. The girl who is effective at this basically plays a feminine personality “role” that she developed/invented which is alluring, sexy, fun, educated, and so on. Those with an acute aptitude for Machiavellianism can conjure up a personalized mythical backstory that is quite elaborate and interesting, and she can carry this persona in an authentic way for a long time. More often than not, these characteristic roles buy into the Headship relational model, simply because that is the God-ordained default design which men can ease into most comfortably.
The best hoes tailor their persona and interactive style to the men they are dealing with such that they can be quite effective at “reeling in” the male customer.
The ideal goal from her perspective is for the guy to get taken in by her act so completely, that he becomes a püssy whipped repeat customer who is a reliable source of cash. Of note, this is an inversion of the male-female sexual authority that is characteristic of a God honoring Headship structure.
She knows that they both know, on some level, that it is all a temporary act, and that the whole thing is premised on her being paid such that if the money goes away, so does she. But within that “suspension of disbelief” within the time and space allotted, a girl who is good at the act can create a very convincing impression of a relationship that blows away his preconceived fantasies in some fashion or form.
This simulacrum of a relationship is what makes fishing in the OASIS fundamentally different from watching another man swimming in a porn video. He might actually catch a fish!
Some men might be naïve enough to think they can nurse an online relationship until it develops into a real relationship. Knowing the grace of God, I’m sure there are a very small number of couples who do find true love at the OASIS, but this is the ultra-rare exception. For the vast majority of cases, men are not naïve enough to think that they can pay a woman to fall in love with him, and that expectation never enters into the picture. Men simply want to worship flesh and get their rocks off.
If you think about it, you can see why regular guys would opt for an OnlyFans hookup instead of p0rnography, and why men of greater means who are looking for paid companionship would choose a Sugar Baby over a hooker. It isn’t because it’s real, but because it feels real — again depending on how good the chick is at what she is doing. And some are much better than others at being a credible fake girlfriend.
Online Sex is a Throwaway Option
In some ways, a man can be his true self much more easily in a false relationship, simply because there is no ego investment in the outcome. He can allow himself to trip up and play the fool simply because “it doesn’t really matter” one way or the other. Having the opportunity to “fail” and still be “accepted” can actually build up a man’s confidence.
Also, there is the sexual aspect. Since time immemorial, men have sought after sources of immediate sexual relief which carries a minimum of responsibilities and consequences. This sentiment has been captured by various artists and actors throughout modern history.
“I want a lover who won’t drive me crazy. Someone who’ll love me, and then go away.”
“I need a lover”, by John Cougar Mellencamp (YouTube)
“You don’t pay wh0res to come, you pay them to leave.”
For these reasons, prostitution has always been regarded as one of the best options for throwaway sex. Online prostitution is even more advantageous for all the reasons already discussed, namely because it is convenient, sanitized, and the male clients can be just as discreet as the Insta-Wh0res themselves. Hence, OASIS meets the primal needs of men quite sugardipitously.
Conclusions
There are many pros and cons about the advent of OASIS.
I can see a couple upsides to the greater participation of women in OASIS.
Women can have the opportunity to learn what men actually like and are attracted to in women.
Women are motivated to learn what men want and how to serve men’s physical and emotional needs because this can increase their income.
Women getting better at being feminine might appear to be a good thing for men, but remember, these lessons come at a great cost to her holiness and worthiness for marriage.
The positive aspects for men are as follows.
Men are incentivized to get a job and earn money (or more money), so that they can pay their OnlyFans tallies and their Insta-Wh0re girlfriends/sugar babies.
The subjective and immediate gratification relieves the incessant and d@mnable burning, which in many cases can allow a man to think clearly about his life.
If a man can get some experience with a “professional”, then this eases his fear of rejection and increases his confidence.
The overall experience ushers him into a new understanding of how to relate to women in a more efficacious manner.
The negative aspects of this approach include the following.
The idolatry of wimmin worship, AKA pedestalization.
It’s a petri dish for lust and possible fornication.
The impressions on his psyche and soul create a standard by which he compares all future relationships. This soul moulding is a harrowing curse for the women involved, causing them to become jaded, truculent, distrustful, and psychotic, even within a very short time frame.
Because the relationship is false, it may give men some false notions about how to handle a woman. Namely (from what I’ve heard), hoes want to be treated like a hoe, and they respond positively to Dark Triad Gamey methods of interaction. But identifying and melding with a marriage-worthy woman requires a different mindset and spiritual disposition.
If the woman is exceptionally beautiful and skilled in her Honeycraft and Machiavellianism, then the experience takes on a new degree of smoothness by an order of magnitude. It is also more tempting and dangerous to his soul for the same reason, and others listed above.
A superior mirage, AKA Fata Morgana. In centuries past, the sight of a Fata Morgana was interpreted to mean that the voyage of the ship was doomed.
“It’s different from watching a video because, again, if the girl is good at what she does, it can feel real to the guy, and that makes all the difference to him in terms of how satisfying the experience is.”
“Sugar babies work on the same principle. Why would a guy pay a sugar baby college/grad student $2,000 a month to see her 3-4 times in that period, when he could see 2 or 3 hotter “pay by the hour” hookers for the same cash, and get hotter girls and more variety, and “on demand” service? It’s because with the sugar baby he is having a fantasy relationship. A talented SB doesn’t act like a hooker. She acts like a “secret young girlfriend” or “protege” or “personal assistant” or whatever kind of fantasy the (almost always older) guy seems suited for, and she plays that role when she is with him. She holds his hand in public, they visit museums and restaurants on fake dates, and they have sex a few times a month. In between, they text, she treats him with a modicum of respect (which is more precious than gold to a man), she doesn’t ghost, flake out, or cut him off. Although she may have some basic rules about how much of her time and texting goes into the deal, most SBs are good at doing this in a way that, too, feels organic and not overly fake.
The money flows monthly in a venmo and feels less transactional because it’s completely decoupled from the in-person meetings, which as noted, flow like “normal” dates.”
As you can see, taking the back door into the SMP can set a man up for either a lifetime of wh0remongering (which is condemned in scripture, 1 Corinthians 6:9-10; Galatians 5:19-21; Ephesians 5:3-5; see all verses) or else, severe disillusionment should he ever repent and attempt to attain a God glorifying Headship. Because the former is so much easier, smoother, and immediately gratifying, it is rather unlikely that he will find the latter.
All in all, OASIS is very bad for both men and women. It will be interesting to see how this plays out over time.
Readership: All Reader’s Note: This post continues discussing The Rise of the Amateur Sex Industry (2021 January 4). Readers may like to read this post first before continuing. In this series, prostitution is defined as the sale of either (1) sexual services, (2) faux relationships (calculated by the hour, number of messages, etc.), or (3) personalized, self-produced, sexually titillating media content — for cash. Length: 2,170 words Reading Time: 8 minutes
Introduction
Maybe some of you can remember the song of the seven dwarves.
Heigh ho! Heigh ho! Heigh ho! It’s home from work we go. [Whistling] Heigh ho! Heigh ho! Heigh ho! Heigh ho! …
Nowadays, it’s not men who are whistling off to work, but wimmin who have joined the pseudo workforce in the Online Amateur Sex Industry and Socialization (OASIS). Since the women started twerking again, the men are now singing a different tune.
Hi hoe! Hi hoe! Hi hoe! We’re jerkin’ off to your online show. We’ll watch you prance and sing and dance! Hi hoe! Hi hoe! Hi hoe! Hi hoe! …
But why the switcheroo of gender roles? And why would women willingly enter into online prostitution? This post will examine three major reasons.
The job benefits
The social attention and affirmation
The MONEY!!!
They do it for the Job Benefits
Prostitution is a profession, and just like many other professions, it can be conducted online, including the advertising, scheduling, social networking, client management, and the processing and exchange of information in the form of digital photographs, videos, and live videocam sessions. For those women who are more adventurous and less averse to the risks, there is also the option of arranging an in-person rendezvous with clients, through online platforms that permit a user selective process.
So from this perspective, working for the OASIS could be considered equivalent to telecommuting. Once a woman learns basic computer skills, like typing, photo editing, and how to manage a simple website account, she can start her own small online prostitution business and commence trading off the titillating throes of lust to anyone who stumbles across her account and takes a vicarious interest in her fleshwares.
The commodity/service that is being sold is the visual and/or carnal access to the female form and/or image, preferably surrounded by a pleasant, informal environment.
Further, she only has to go to an in-person meeting with a client if and when she chooses to do so.
But better than this, there’s hardly any work required. A woman can simply lounge around the house in her underwear, drink lattes, watch romcoms, and masturbate at her leisure, and let the cash roll in as the video cameras roll on. This style of leisure activity is what women prefer to do by default, so working for the camera only requires essentially the same things she would do if she were NOT working.
Now there might be some additional work required for those women who are not so young or genetically gifted. Supplementary labor in this regard would include losing weight, fitness and/or aerobic training, cosmetic artistry, and washing and blow drying hair every day.
Also, certain women have more advanced and finely honed honeycraft skills, for which there is a huge market demand. The type of skilled labor required to be the modern equivalent of a Geisha demands real emotional work. However, this type of labor is also not without hefty rewards.
Best of all, this job pays for all travel expenses! For some women, the travel destinations include dates with extremely wealthy men in some of the most exotic locations around the world! Dreams do come true!
They do it for the social affirming, ego stroking Attenshun!
Similar to other professions in the digital age, OASIS has now taken advantage of the conveniences and data crunching opportunities offered by the computer and internet. Instead of entertaining 5 to 8 johns a day, as was typical in the old days, the mass distribution and broadcasting abilities of the smart phone/computer and the internet can now allow an online hoe to entertain hundreds of e-johns in one online session.
Social attention, in this setting, has been reduced to the equivalent of getting a “Like” on Faysbook. Of note, “Likes” are also equivalent to “Follow”. It’s a form of immediate feedback that represents social affirmation, which is, and has always been, chick crack. Since there are no “Dislike” or “Hate” buttons, it also minimizes the shame of rejection.
Compared to the investment of time, money, and attention once offered by the suitors of yesteryore, the material value of “getting a like” is reduced online, but nevertheless, the feminine need for attention is well sated, thereby supplanting their instinctive drive for survival that undergirds their need for attention.
Granted, the men offering this attention are those desperately thirsty men who can’t get a woman in real life. However, the number of men fitting this bill grows by the hour, and the increased quantity supplemented by the immediate cash profits more than compensates for the quality.
Furthermore, being on the receiving end of that low SMV male attention online is less “risky”, troublesome, and onerous than it is in real life. Feminism has removed the risk of being $1ut shamed and ostracized for being meretricious. The removal of the physical risks, although probably lower now than in ages past, are obvious. Thus, the risks posed by participating in OASIS that are perceived by the female mind are no longer centered around physical safety, health, and reputation, but rather identity theft, doxxing, financial transaction fraud, and being edged out of the market by aging and competition.
Hence, OASIS is empowering in a way that traditional prostitution has never been.
“Believe it or not, this first got my attention by a couple of Christian women I know, both supposedly happily(?) married; and a couple of secular women I know from an educational program I participate in with them, observing their posts on Instagram. While not sexual in nature specifically in their posting, what caught my attention was the NUMBER of POSTS PER DAY they were putting up on Instagram. I’m like, “What are they doing, don’t they have better uses for their time?” Then it hit me, they are after the attention and validation–the MALE attention and validation. It dawned on me, they were addicted to al the attention and validation they were getting–like a drug. I also noticed, they got increasingly what I call, subtly provocative, with their poses and outfits. It didn’t reach slutty levels outwardly, but the innuendo was unmistakable! It didn’t take an Einstein to figure out what they were saying to the men in their sub-communications.”
“[They] started with gym postings. They seemed innocent at first like, “Hey, look at me working out hard in the gym today!” Added to the workout postings were the ubiquitous ‘food shots,’ ‘girls having fun together shots,’ etc. The posts then seemingly began to increase from one here and there, to one every day, then to multiple posts during the same day. I noticed the gym clothes got tighter on the legs (spandex) and around the butt; the workout shirts sleeveless and loose fitting in the beginning, started to get smaller fitting with a little cleavage starting to show. What really did it for me were the posts at the gym evolving from general workout pics to provocatively posed shots of the chest and ass in action during squats, military press, etc. And then, Chad and Tyrone like trainers working with them personally getting into all these provocative poses. It also includes poses with them with their arms around their trainer hugging and ‘celebrating’ breakthroughs in the amount of weight they were lifting or whatever. Who the ћәll does that at the gym?”
Even a modest effort gets extravagant feedback!
The MONEY!!!
Here’s how OnlyFans works [1].
Users charge their followers a monthly subscription fee to see their photos and videos. I assume that this allows subscribers the opportunity to wank with the digital content as much as they please. OnlyFans takes a commission of about 20%.
Case Study 2: Caroline Wozniacki
Take a look at this statement from one OnlyFans content creator, Caroline Wozniacki.
Notice that she has 101 posts, 45 photos, and 23 videos, and only 59 subscribers! According to what’s shown on this statement, she made $115.93 on 2016 August 14. That’s just in one day! If we assume this is a representative sample, and multiply this by 30, then that’s $3,477.90 per month! Multiplying by 12 yields $41,734.80 per year!
Even a small time content creator can earn a living off of OnlyFans.
Case Study 3: Makayla Samountry
I came across this video on YouTube, in which a young woman “discovers” how much her SMV is worth in today’s dollars.
According to her statement, she attracted 8 followers and she made $405 the first two weeks on OnlyFans. She had $581 from messages, and $785 in subscriptions after one month! On her best day, she made $200 that day. In total, she had over 7,000 views, and she made $1,096.70 in the first month!
She says this supplementary income is exactly what she needs to cover the rent for her 2-bedroom apartment and have “a little extra” to buy her boyfriend Tyler a Valentine’s gift.
She said her boyfriend Tyler said he feels left out, but that he is “fully supportive of her”. He only asks to be sent a copy of anything she uploads to OnlyFans.
If you watched much of the video, you’ll notice how she’s doing her thing dressed very casually, drinking wine, and she is absolutely BEAMING with joy about her experience with OnlyFans.
The thing that makes this interesting is that she is not that great looking. She’s young and has fairly good facial symmetry, but she has a very average body, and a bad case of acne.
Even a very common young woman can earn a living off of OnlyFans.
Case Study 4: Top Celebrities on OnlyFans
Take a look at this screenshot showing the top earners on OnlyFans [1].
The top earner, Black China makes £15,418,259 ($21,034,034.36), and the bottom of the top ten makes at least £800,000 (~$1.1 million) per month!
This is an insane amount of money made smiling for the camera!
Conclusions
Prostitution is a profession, and just like any other profession, some prostitutes can make more money than others. And some are more professionally skilled and capable of managing their own business than others.
Prostitution is also a service, and just like many other services in the information age, it has been transplanted online, including the transactions involving the scheduling, distribution of media content, payments, and so on.
Women are under pressures here as well and, as with everything else, how they respond individually to those pressures is dependent on some combination of values, upbringing, options, goals, looks, and age. It’s all in the mix.
But overall, OASIS is generally advantageous to those women who have the interest and motivation to take advantage of the shifts described above, while being extremely disadvantageous to those women who do not.
All of the reasons mentioned previously and above are why there is no real outcry to get rid of porn, cams, sugar babies, escort sites and the like, at least none that is broad based and loud like many other social causes are today. Some people do feel very strongly about it, but there is a growing group of women who are, to some degree empowered by it, even if in a relatively small way rather than in a full-time lifestyle way, and it therefore will likely continue and persist in this way in the years ahead.
I predict that it won’t be long until the debut of internet-based “escort agencies”, which will utilize a business model similar to that of temporary workers’ agencies, only online. They will manage the e-johns appointments with the e-staceys by the hour. The e-johns will log in with an account number and ask for an “escort” having specified attributes and/or a skill set to be scheduled on a time slot of his choosing. The e-staceys will try to fill as many time slots as they can, in order to maximize their income. The e-staceys will be paid by the agency according to what the popular demand for their personal attributes and skills can fetch in the SMP. And just like a career with the police or military, if an e-stacey can grind it out for 20 years, they may be eligible for retirement benefits. Government will be happy to look the other way, as long as the tax bucks are proceeding.
The streetwalkers move to the sidewalk as middle class, college-aged girls and older women alike take the digital screen.
Readership: All Author’s Note: This post is a spin-off from my last post, Exploiting Online Attention (2020 December 9). Readers may need to read this post first before continuing. This is the also the first, introductory, part of a series of related posts to come over the next few weeks, as described below.
The Disintermediation of Sex
Prior to the rise of the internet, and particularly the user-driven, social media phase of the internet, the sex industry was mostly a seedy subculture that was gate-kept by “professionals” comprised of extremely unsavory, shifty individuals of corrupt character. Being a participant in this industry, no matter whether one was a professional or a client, bore the popular image of being an indigent-class desperado and/or a deviant.
During this period, a woman would generally not opt to participate in the various permutations of the sex industry, from stripping to peep shows, from prostitution to pornography, unless she had fallen into dire circumstances and was completely desperate and destitute.
Today, that is no longer the case.
While the women who participate in the various aspects of the sex industry are still very much a self-selected group and a decided minority of women, it’s not nearly as small as the group was when the industry was run by the pimps, madams, strip club kingpins and pornographers. And the motivations of many in the group have changed — for many of the women, participation in the industry isn’t “survival as a last resort option”, which it often was in the days of pimps and the rest, but is a lifestyle choice based on other options available for income generation for students or office workers who are looking for supplemental income, travel, gifts and the like. In the past, these kinds of women had very low participation rates in this industry, but this is not so today — today it is a different scene, precisely because the internet has disintermediated the sex industry, which is having a spillover impact on the entire sexual marketplace (SMP).
When everything became digitized through the rise of the internet, the first impact was felt by providers of content that could be easily digitized (music, books, videos) and distributed in digital format more cheaply than traditional “hard copy” content providers could do, and without the “middleman” of book stores, record shops and video stores, all of whom took a “cut” of the profit while also controlling the distribution of the material. Next to be hit were “brick and mortar” retailers, which gradually found that their own models for logistics, distribution and product sales were being replaced by Amazon and its imitators who, again, succeeded in removing the layers of middlemen and replacing them with one consolidated middleman — Amazon itself or its lookalike site — which acted as the principal distribution source for … well, after a while, just about everything other than groceries and fresh meals. The wave of disintermediation and the creation of consolidated online “clearinghouse” middleman entities on the internet marched ruthlessly through almost all of the consumer-facing economy, from travel agencies to hotels to taxicabs.
The rise of the internet was, of course, associated with the rise of online pornography in the 1990s, which then spread to the proliferation of online porn videos in the 2000s with the growth of the availability of broadband internet. This represented the disruption of the prior distribution channels for porn, which were newsstands, erotic book and video shops, and seedy XXX theaters.
The Smartphone Changes Everything
But the true sea change came with the rise of the smartphone. The first iPhone was released in June 2007, and by 2011 or so penetration rates of smartphones were becoming substantial throughout the developed world. The smartphone was unique in that it provided high resolution, ultra-portable still and video cameras to a large number of people (eventually over a billion), which over the course of time enabled more and more people to take pictures and videos of themselves and, by virtue of the nature of the smartphone as an “always on” internet access device, to share these images and videos with people. Social media, a creation of the 2000s, found new applications with the rise of the smartphone, as platforms like Instagram became the near ubiquitous means by which people shared and viewed images of others. In the course of a literal handful of years, virtually anyone in the developed world could take pictures and videos of themselves and share them almost instantly with as many, or as few, people as they wanted.
The impact of this was nothing short of revolutionary, and the appreciation of this impact on the ever-changing minefield of male-female relations is widely overlooked or misunderstood. The effects were legion. One of the most salient, which we have addressed elsewhere, has been the rise of smartphone-based app dating from not existing at all to being the primary means by which people meet the opposite sex in less than a decade.
Another substantial effect of the rise of smartphones, however, has been the large-scale privatization and amateurization of the sex industry. The pre-smart phone internet had already begun this process, with prostitution becoming largely disintermediated by means of websites which played the role of the “Amazon of Prostitution” by providing a single middle-man, accessible by content providers (women) and consumers (men) completely in the virtual space. Virtually overnight, the seedy world of pimps and madams, while not being entirely eliminated, lost a lot of its “turf” as these Hooker Amazon sites made it possible for women to find customers and run their sex-for-money business without dealing with the creepy, organized criminal lowlifes who used to run it, often abusing the women who participated in numerous and well-documented ways.
However, prostitution still involves meeting a person in the real world by its nature, so while the rise of online prostitution marketing sites marked a change away from the seediness of the world of pimps and madams, the participation rate in prostitution as an income generation activity remains essentially limited by the typically strong resistance of many women to have sex with strangers for money in what is generally a “strictly transactional” setting — that is, one-off meetings for an hour or two in a hotel room where cash is exchanged for personal services of a sexual nature.
The real revolution here happened later, with the rise of the smartphone and the related apps that perfected the creation and dissemination of pictures and videos. These functions were very popular in general, but from the very beginning they were particularly popular with attractive women, who, with the rise of Instagram, became the pulsing core of the entire social media scene. Many women proceeded to collect hundreds of thousands of followers, in some extreme cases millions, with many men ardently following their every post — liking, commenting, complimenting, direct messaging and the like.
And so emerged the phenomenon of the “Instagram Boyfriend”, at least for as long as he could compete with the endless virtual attention stream he was facilitating
I have written elsewhere how this has made the cost to women of male attention very cheap, in relative terms, because it can be collected in large amounts at a very safe, sanitized distance — as compared with, say, catcalls while walking past a construction site. However, what few people saw coming was how this trend of women displaying themselves on sites like Instagram to garner male attention would intersect with the continually growing and innovating online sex industry.
Personally I think this came as a surprise to most people because in the public mind — in our minds — the sex industry, whether in person or online, is associated with seedy lowlife types. Most of us did not foresee how the online attention getting activity associated with apps like Instagram would effectively merge with the new online sex industry to create something essentially new, precisely because we did not see the kinds of women who participate in the former as being interested in participating in the latter. After all — they never really had before. Why would they now?
Disintermediation is an extremely powerful thing.
From Instagram to OnlyFans
In the context of the rest of the sex industry outside of prostitution itself, the rise of smartphones and social media sites gave women access to the ability to share themselves — that is, pictures and videos of their faces and bodies — with as few or as many men as they wanted, without having to go through intermediaries other than anonymous, faceless digital image clearinghouse sites which were 180- degrees different from strip club or peep show owners, never mind seedy pornographers. It didn’t take very long for a few women to agree to engage in certain “additional activities” for certain of their followers on Instagram, but the nature of these was mostly the subject of rumor and innuendo, because it was all taking place off-site, in the opaque world of private messages, texts and emails. This also made the practice mostly one that only the most brazen and adventurous of women engaged in.
That was, until the tech geeks, noticing an underserved market, came up with “an app for that”. Or rather, multiple apps, each one tailored to a specific part of the emergent amateur, “do-it-yourself” sex industry.
These apps, which include sites like OnlyFans (for Instagram women who want to “upsell” their followers to more revealing pictures and videos, for a price) and Seeking Arrangements (for women who want to become a quasi “kept woman”, a kind of paid dating service which involves sex for money but in the context of a simulated relationship rather than one-off transactional handoffs in hotel rooms), a woman no longer has to deal with the creepy sex industry as an intermediary, but can instead engage her paying followers directly and in a very sanitized, safe way.
A woman can be her own pornographer, either taking her own pictures and videos with her smartphone, or by using another Insta/OF girl to do so, or perhaps a female photographer who isn’t creepy but “empowering”, and placing these photos and videos on her own OnlyFans site in exchange for subscription fees and tips paid by her followers.
A woman can be her own strip club owner by performing strip teases on livestreams to her followers, who have all paid to view the material, while she collects real time tips — again, all without dealing with seedy real life customers in person, or having to share her tips with the staff, or dealing with coked-up coworker “dancers”.
A woman can run her own peep show as well on a cam site, which, again, is sanitized — a woman doesn’t have to deal with a peep show owner, duck seedy customers on her way to and from, or deal with the general indignity and mental trauma of a fundamentally tawdry and dehumanized environment — that is all replaced by a laptop on her own familiar bed, her lap or a small table nearby and a smartphone on a small tripod, while her customers appear merely as strings of letters in a chat stream.
In other words, the transfer to an online venue has “sanitized” the sex industry for women wholesale. While participation in the industry previously required the regular interface with the seedy underworld that ran the establishments that comprised the sex industry, as well as its seedy, in-person customers, the internet has done away with this unpleasantness, and replaced it with clean, anonymous, digital clearinghouses which are just about as inherently seedy as using Amazon is.
The digital disintermediation of the sex industry has made it possible for women to access this source of cash on their own terms rather than on the dictated terms of the seedier elements of the sex industry — the strip club owner, pimp, or pornographer — and with absolutely no risk of running afoul of the law.
As a result, the suddenly massive world of amateur pornography on OnlyFans (which essentially has become the X-rated wing of Instagram for all intents and purposes) , the continued growth of the “sugar baby” market, pay-per-view porn cams, and the proliferation of internet-sourced “escort” activity (which is a polite euphemism for highbrow, low profile prostitution), have all grown into a substantial, and in many respects essentially new, amateur sex industry.
This is important for at least two reasons.
The first is that it is new, which means it is having new impacts on both sexes, most of which are currently “flying under the radar” and going essentially unnoticed and therefore unexamined. More women are participating in these activities than did in the immediately prior era. Many more. More men are viewing pornography than at any time in history, and more men are having “kept women” as well, because prior to the rise of “sugar baby” websites a few years ago, this activity was extremely exceptional to say the least. Many more women are viewing Instagram attention as their fundamental right, and many of the ones who attract a lot of attention but not quite enough (or not the right kind) to rise to the level of paid influencers or social media celebrities feel some pressure to monetize their attention and popularity somehow, for which the sanitized online amateur sex industry beckons. And in that cycle, some men who never “paid for porn” during the rise of internet pornography nevertheless find themselves paying for customized content that is tailor-made to their specifications by women who market this service through their Instagram feed, which links to their OnlyFans site. These impacts are fast-developing and dynamically changing behaviors in real time, and the impacts are going largely overlooked, which makes them all the more impactful.
The second is that the newly emergent amateur sex industry, and its main “on ramp”, Instagram, is having a substantial impact on the overall relationship between men and women, even apart from the industry itself. This impact had already begun with the rise of Instagram, as it cheapened the value of male attention in socio-sexual terms by making it superabundant on an epic, heretofore unavailable scale while at the same time sanitizing it by making it virtual rather than in person and inconvenient or uncomfortable for women.
But the subsequent rise of the amateur sex industry has had the impact of making relations between men and women more transactional overall. While, unlike Instagram, most women still do not participate in this activity, despite its significant and ongoing growth, the awareness that it exists, and that it is a possibility, casts a more transactional frame to male/female relations overall, both when it comes to women’s expectations of men who are not in the “sport sex” category for them, as well as men’s expectations of women sexually, as a result of them having seen many otherwise “normal everyday” women on Instagram and OF engaged in various activities.
In addition the availability of the amateur sex industry as an income source, and the growing acceptability of its use as such given how sanitized it is in comparison to the prior version of the sex industry, has increased the vetting and relationship risks men run with women in the present period. Simply put, women have opportunities they simply did not have even 5 years ago, and a growing number are capitalizing on those, either before or after relationships or marriages to men (and, I would surmise, at times even during, with or without the man’s awareness or consent).
The landscape has simply changed, substantially and quickly, in ways that men in particular need to be aware of as part of their overall understanding of the situation between men and women in the emerging society, and the new risks presented to men by these developments. As Deti wrote regarding the key shift:
“And it has been taken totally private. What used to take place in public now takes place totally and completely out of the public eye. Men can gawk at photos and video of amateur pornstars, camgirls and OF girls in the privacy of their rooms. Women can prostitute themselves more openly and more privately at the same time. What used to be legitimate “charging” for dates (take me out for dinner and you pay, take me for a night out on your dime, take me out to the museum and you pay, let’s do a weekend away and you pay) is now shady “charging” for “prostitution lite” – subscriptions to premium porn sites, camgirl sites, OF rendezvous, sugar dating, all of which can, and do, include dates and sex.”
The Path Forward
Given the context of the modern SMP that young people are in, and what’s on the table today, it’s understandable why we see the landscape of behaviors continuing to evolve.
Even so, none of this is good for men. It goes without saying that no man should be visiting prostitutes of any sort, or sugar babies, or viewing internet porn, including OnlyFans or anything like that. To begin with, it’s obviously all very immoral and fundamentally soul corrupting to do so. And even leaving that aside, the online sex culture gives guys even less incentive to make the kinds of changes in their lives that can help with actual relationships with women outside the virtual space. However, even for men who abstain from participation in this problematic new area, the impact remains, due to the impact these developments are having on male-female relations overall.
Simply put, the impact of these social changes on the behaviors of young men and women, and the SMP in general, is taking place in real time, and no-one is really discussing it.
Until now.
Over the next couple of weeks, this blog will feature a series of posts by Jack and me relating to aspects of these developments in the socio-sexual marketplace, including a detailed dive into a particularly spectacular example of the new risks being presented to men, and an assessment of potential takeaways for men facing this challenging new environment. So stay tuned — more is soon to come on this emerging new development in the seemingly ever-shifting landscape of male-female relations in the current era.
In this video/post, I discuss the presuppositions that you must work through before discussing personality pathology, followed by a little taste of what you’re getting into.
Readership: All
How does your personality become “disordered”? (Length: 21:00)
In order to have a conversation about personality disorders and the development of them, there are two steps of topics that you need to address first, before you can get to this topic.
Does personality exist?
Can it be disordered?
If you ever want to talk about personality pathology with anyone, then these topics need to be addressed in this order.
1. Does Personality Exist?
The question of whether personality exists is actually a very controversial topic. If you talk to 10 different health professionals about whether personality exists, you’ll get 10 different answers.
My perspective is that, yes, it exists. Secondly, how do we define it?
The simplest way I can describe personality is like this.
If you put person 1 into environmental stimulus A, then you will get behavior X. And no matter how many times you do this, you will always get behavior X, with only a little bit of variance.
In fact, this observation/assumption that people have certain preferred behaviors forms the whole basis of psychology.
So you need to come to a loose agreement on this point before proceeding to the next step.
2. Can Personality be Disordered?
Here, we can talk about personality like it is a constitutive physical element of a person, like a liver or pancreas, all of which can have a pathology.
If there are different types of personality disorders, then they can be identified as discrete pathologies. In psychology, this is called differentiating.
The way we define these disorders is by the descriptions in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM). This is called diagnosing. As the name implies, the way that these criteria are created are both rationally and statistically derived.
In studies of personality, it has been widely found that people who have behavior A also have behavior B. This is called clustering, which is also described in the DSM. It should be noted that there are also individuals who don’t fit into a cluster. They appear to have pathological behaviors from many clusters, and so the pathology is not easily identifiable.
Once you can agree about whether a person displays behaviors that match a certain cluster, then you are at the point where you can begin to discuss a specific personality disorder.
Dealing with People who have Personality Pathologies is Difficult
We can imagine this as a sliding scale. On one end is the person who has the perfect personality, and on the other end is the completely mad psychopath.
A person with a perfectly developed personality might be described as always knowing how to handle any situation, no matter how ambiguous or weird it is. They have no difficulty in coping skills. They always manage other people with just the right amount of sophistication and assertiveness. Such a person does not exist. All people have some degree of personality pathology, which is another way of saying that no person has a perfectly developed personality.
We talk about personality disorders as a cluster of maladjusted behaviors that causes problems for that person and/or others. We also talk about this as being an ego syntonic behavior, which means that the person is unaware of how they are causing problems for others.
In contrast to other psychological pathologies, like Alzheimer’s, Autism, schizophrenia, etc., a personality disorder is the clinicians’ way of calling the person a supreme jerk.
Your neural pathways become less and less plastic as one grows older, so the old proverb, “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks”, is actually true.
A personality pathology is the way you are, and if the way you are is ‘broken’, then that is a trait that is not likely to change.
So this is why personality disorders are so difficult to deal with.
Can Personality Pathologies be Remedied?
The diathesis stress model is based on the fact that we don’t know the exact percentages of factors that contribute to a personality disorder, environment and genes and heritability. Personally, I estimate this to be 90% heritability and 10% environment, and science is slowly coming around to this estimation.
Richard Grannon is a big fan of Freud, and they both claim that behaviors are slowly grown, and then adamantly defended after they are engrained. The iceberg analogy applies here. There are a lot of things lurking beneath our conscious awareness, and as one grows older, their ego becomes increasingly invested in not changing those subconscious issues.
Are people with personality disorders completely incapable of comprehending and/or changing their pathology? No, probably not in most cases. But because they have built up an ego investment in these maladaptive coping skills and fortress of defenses around these traits, it is very VERY difficult to address, and it is unlikely that they will be able to change it.
Digging deep into the issues that cause a pathology are by nature very painful, so most people will instinctively resist this process. Going back to the medical model, it’s like a surgery.
The only way a person is going to change is if they run into a situation in which their maladaptive traits become extremely costly to them, and then this motivates them to change. Even then, the stuff deep down inside that is causing their pathology will probably remain, and they will simply change their social behaviors in order to find a new coping mechanism. It’s classical conditioning like Pavlov’s Dog.
Shawn Smith and Richard Grannon have a lot of knowledge about the topic of personality disorders. I’d like to make a viewer interactive session with the three of us. If you are interested in learning more, I recommend you to check out their YouTube channels.
I started blogging on March 7, 2008, using Blogger as my blog platform. On September 27, 2017, I transferred the best of my blog writings from Blogger to WordPress, and began concentrating on Red Pill topics. I received more views on WordPress in the first two months, than I had on Blogger in the previous 8 years.
Goals and Purposes
My goals and purposes in blogging are summed up in my About page. I value easily readable, and high content quality posts that stand the test of time – writings that would be of value to readers even decades from now.
Methods
I have a frequent habit to pray about the purpose of this blog, what I should write about, and what men need to read and know. Years ago, I used to write in themes, using topics and citations from other articles. In 2019, I started introducing more epiphanies from my private journal and my life experiences. During 2020, there were a lot more comments and other feedback through private email correspondence, so I started writing about topics brought up by readers.
Concerning the appearance of the blog, at the beginning of 2020, I experimented with the header image and the background color. Details are covered in the following posts.
Under the 2019 Performance Report that was posted at the beginning of 2020, Adam Piggott gave me this advice for posting.
“Post more often, you will get more traffic. If people know that they can get something from you every day, then they come back a lot more often. I’ve also found that the magic number of words for a post is about 700. That’s what people can handle in this day and age.”
I decided to experiment with writing shorter, more frequent posts, and I made a goal of posting three times a week at the same time. Within a few weeks, I settled into posting on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays.
I also invited several other noteworthy bloggers to join the author’s panel. In addition to Lexet, who joined in 2019, Scott and NovaSeeker joined in 2020. In 2020, Scott wrote 9 posts, Lexet wrote 8, and NovaSeeker wrote 7. TheDeti and Elspeth also wrote the main content for one post each.
In November, I started posting every day. My motive was to help distract people from the election drama and provide a diverging relief. As a consequence of my greater devotion to the cause of this blog, several things happened.
As a result of the change from posting three times a week, to posting every day, the traffic went up 28.5%.
NovaSeeker started writing posts.
Scott Klajic came back and wrote a post.
A reader asked me to make a “Donate” page so that he could contribute.
Here, I would like to acknowledge the authors who contributed during this time: NovaSeeker (7 posts), Scott (3 posts), Lexet (1 post), and the two posts based on comments from TheDeti and Elspeth. I couldn’t have maintained the schedule of posting every day without their valuable contributions.
Overall, I interpreted these events as the hand of God helping me to fulfill my commitment to post daily for 50 days. I don’t say this to displace recognition from the contributions of others, but rather to emphasize that God came through for my readers, and that it’s not all about my own effort.
As the following statistics will show, all these changes proved to increase readership dramatically. Σ Frame had an average of 188 views per day for 2019. This figure increased to 442 for 2020.
Writing Projects:
I had at least four writing projects in 2020:
Game
How Christian Red Pill is distinct from secular Red Pill
These writing projects did not develop as much as I expected. Instead, several themes emerged which diverted my attention and effort. I interpret this as a providential development.
Themes
Looking over my posts from 2020, there were several themes that emerged.
In two posts, Placing the Marriage Structures within the Archetypical Models (2020 September 28), and More on Relational Archetypes (2020 November 28), I combined my model of Authority vs. Life Path with Deep Strengths descriptions of relational archetypes, and the resulting synergy gained a lot of resonance around the sphere. Deep Strength responded in at least three posts.
All-time number of visitors (on WordPress): 100,000
Average views per visitor: 2.45
Average views per day: 442
Most popular day and hour: Monday, 9:00 pm (GMT)
The all-time number of posts and the number of views in 2020, by author:
Jack: 425 posts, 184,360 views (433.79 views per post)
Scott: 10 posts, 3,838 views (383.8 views per post)
Lexet: 13 posts, 3,156 views (242.77 views per post)
NovaSeeker: 7 posts, 1,342 views (191.71 views per post)
The most views in one day:
Scott’s post, How I discovered that I wanted to be married (2020 April 27), pushed Σ Frame over 1,000 views in one day for the first time ever. On Tuesday, April 28, 2020, the stats counter showed 1,155 views from 602 visitors. The traffic came from several sources (in order of the quantity of referrals).
The second best day of 2020 was on Saturday, December 18, which brought 808 views from 241 visitors. The traffic was a result of several combinatory factors.
TheDeti’s post, The Feminist Life Script (2020 December 17), attracted a large number of comments in the discussion.
An older post, List of Slüt Tells (2017 October 15), received 30 referrals from Faceb00k.
A post from a few days earlier, Redemption and Sexual Healing (2020 December 15) continued to receive views and comments.
17 referrals from Christianity and Masculinity added to the count.
The top five countries with the most viewers:
The order is the same as last year. Figures in parentheses indicate the change from the previous year.
United States: 103,000 (+246.61%)
Canada: 9,217 (+213.9%)
United Kingdom: 8,234 (+194.02%)
Australia: 5,701 (+220.03%)
India: 3,129 (+200.19%)
Note: All of these countries are democratic, capitalistic societies that are being smothered by post-modern, feministic social ideologies.
Total number of viewing countries/principalities: 213
The top five search engine terms leading people to Σ Frame:
Some variant of “what to do when she tries to make you jealous”, etc.
Some variant of “sigma male”, “sigmaframe”, “sigma frame blog”, etc.
Slüt tells
Some variant of “wife discipline”, “discipline in marriage”, etc.
Busy roommate
Similar to last year, the majority of search terms included the words, “wife”, “discipline”, and “jealous”. Apparently, women making men jealous continues to be a major problem in society for some reason.
Funny or odd search terms which have led people to Σ Frame:
Amazon
Asian nubiles
Breastfeeding public
Enthusiastic sex Red Pill
Inappropriate mom son
Jared
Pump guide
Redpill drove her away with jealousy
Remarksman
Rogs
Sharkly “male space”
sigmaframe.wordpress.com/ elspeth (Maybe Elspeth should join the writers panel?)
сисястые бабы кормят сисей мужиков фото (Translation: busty women feed men with tits photo)
The top 10 incoming referrers (other than amp pages, search engines, and readers):
Compared to the previous year’s data, v5k2c2 (Boxer), Dalrock, The Other McCain, and Cane Caldo have been superseded by Twitter, Derek L. Ramsey, and Singularity. Figures in parentheses indicate the change from the previous year.
The top 10 blogs receiving the most traffic from Σ Frame:
Compared to the previous year, Fabius Maximus, Dalrock, and Snapper have been superseded by The Transformed Wife, Hawaiian Libertarian, and Wh0res and Ale. Figures in parentheses indicate the change from the previous year.
Congratulations to Scott, who nailed posts 2 and 3 above.
The top five most popular Categories:
This year shows a large turnover from the previous year. Strategy, which was at number 5 in 2019, is now at number 1. All the others are new to the top five list, replacing Models of Success, Male Power, For the Married, and Holding Frame.
I have been posting every day since November first. That’s 50 posts! My motivation for ratcheting up the writing rate was to provide a relieving diversion from the election fiasco, thereby granting us a displacement of the angst arising from our daily reading diet and the absence of non-fake news.
Here, I would like to acknowledge the authors who contributed during this time: NovaSeeker (7 posts), Scott (3 posts), Lexet (1 post), and TheDeti (1 post). I couldn’t have maintained the schedule of posting every day without their valuable contributions. Thanks also to those readers who invested their thoughts, time, and energy to contribute to the insightful discussions.
I’m going to take a reprieve for the rest of the year (10 days). After the New Year rings in, I’ll resume posting some more good stuff. NovaSeeker and Lexet have some more writings in the works, and we’ll continue to cover Scott’s videos and commentary on social and personality pathologies. So tune in for more at that time.
I wish you all a joyful and memorable season with your friends and families!
Readership: Christians Length: 1,250 words Reading Time: 5-8 minutes
What have we done to the Institution of Marriage?
The Feminist Life Script (2020 December 17) received some rave reviews in the comments. There was some discussion about the historical average age of marriage, and other discussion about the age of marriage in a Biblical context or the Hebrew culture of antiquity. Others very strongly objected to 14-15 year old girls getting married, especially to 30+ year old men.
But all these arguments, though valid, cling to principles, rules, historical trends, or cultural norms, and therefore sidestep the core issue.
So what is the core issue?
What is it that we are most concerned about?
Here’s a list of the possibilities. (Feel free to add to this list in the comments.)
We don’t want our daughters to have sex at “too young” an age. (Define what is “too young” and why.)
We don’t want our daughters to become slores. (At what point does this happen?)
We don’t want our daughters to debase their marriages.
We don’t want our daughters to defraud their future husbands.
We don’t want our daughters to have an unhappy marriage. (Does marriage at a certain age determine happiness?)
We don’t want our daughters to get pregnant out of wedlock.
We don’t want our daughters to undergo a divorce in the future.
We are most concerned about not having to worry about what will happen to our daughters.
We don’t want to feel shame or embarrassment as a parent.
We want to control our daughter’s sexual interests and activities so that they don’t become a statistic.
So how does postponing marriage past the age of 25 provide a solution to any of these concerns?
Yet, that is exactly what is happening.
Another important question (which, sadly, no one brought up) is this:
What is it that God is most concerned about?
3 For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality;4 that each of you should know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, 5 not in passion of lust, like the Gentiles who do not know God; 6 that no one should take advantage of and defraud his brother in this matter, because the Lord is the avenger of all such, as we also forewarned you and testified. 7 For God did not call us to uncleanness, but in holiness.8 Therefore he who rejects this does not reject man, but God, who has also given us His Holy Spirit.
I dare say, and I cannot emphasize it enough, we will not see any improvements in our social conditions (i.e. the MMP) until we begin to prioritize that which is most important to God!
We should be openly and frequently talking to our daughters about the SMP and marriage as soon as they begin to take an interest in such things.
image
Why Wait?
Let’s very briefly review why it’s important for a woman to retain her virginity until marriage. I’d like to shy people away from only considering this as a “rule”, in favor of taking a hard look at the actual real world consequences of illicit/premarital sex.
The above graph says it all. For an explanation of this phenomenon, here are a few posts of relevance.
You see, it’s not just about “rules”, or even ethics or morality. There are very good practical reasons why God told us to refrain from sexual immorality!
Let’s think about it…
Wisdom requires us to take an honest look at the facts.
According to the above graph, we are looking at about 2 years of leeway. I interpret this to mean that the average person can only wait about 2 years to have sex. Also of note, Republicans have it easier than Democrats for some reason.
Some reports claim that the average male has sex for the first time at age 16.9, and females lose their virginity slightly older, at 17.4 on the average. Since these are self-reported statistics, I suspect that these numbers are probably a lot older for males, and younger for females. I would guess the real numbers are about 15-16 for girls, and 18-19 for guys. This actually shows up in the graphs shown above. Of course, race, region, genetics, home environment, and socioeconomic background play into that. But for now, let’s use that original statistic for the sake of discussion.
According to the estimates from the 2017 U.S. Census Bureau, the average age of first marriage for women was 27.4 years. For men, it’s slightly older at 29.5 years. That’s the longest Americans have ever waited to get married.
Now think about that…
27.4 – 17.4 = 10
Exactly10 years between women’s first sexual experience, and getting married – and that’s on the average!
Pray tell, just exactly what are young women doing during those 10 years???
As the average age of marriage is postponed, that leaves more time for postporniscuity. I doubt that it is a coincidence.
They’ll be doing all the things that we hoped they wouldn’t do, as given in the first bulleted list above.
More important than this, they’ll be destroying all the things that God desires of them, as given in the second bulleted list above.
Concluding Statements
We like to think that Christianity can somehow eliminate human nature. But that’s not how Christianity works, especially not for hormone ridden adolescents. We must begin to get serious about the purpose of our faith, and not just dawdle with idle rules and pompous decorum.
It is irresponsible for us as parents to put our daughters into a circumstance where they will be tempted beyond measure to have sex outside of marriage. In light of the above information, it is entirely reasonable that we should encourage young women to marry, rather than follow the Feminist Life Script, especially those who are at the age where they are about to let the cat out of the bag.
Now as parents, we are tempted to tell ourselves, “No, that won’t happen to MY daughter. I raised her right. She won’t be like that!” Please! Let’s have pity on our daughters. Let’s help them find a fitting way to satisfy their desires.
What is a realistic expectation for our daughters?
Can we honestly tell them to wait until marriage to have sex, and at the same time, make marriage an unrealistic, and even an unpreferred option during TEN of their prime SMV/MMV years?
Are there any other alternatives that would be pleasing to God?
Yes, there’s celibacy! How would your daughter feel about that option?
