What To Do When A Girl Tries To Make You Jealous

Readership: Men in relationships with women they value.

An abridged version of this article was previously published by the author on Return of Kings: What To Do When A Girl Tries To Make You Jealous (April 15, 2018).

The outline of the present article is as follows.

  1. Introduction
  2. Is Jealousy really Love?
  3. Why does she play the jealousy game?
  4. How a man should react.
  5. Specific Points and Plays.
  6. What to do when (she says) you failed her (idealistic) expectations.
  7. Dealing with Dating Sites.
  8. Dealing with Exes.
  9. Conclusions
Edvard Munch Jealousy 1

“Jealousy” by Edvard Munch, ca. 1907.

1. Introduction

‘The Jealousy Game’ is a game that most women play at some point in a relationship, some more than others. The game works like this. She picks out another man, usually one she has at least a moderate degree of attraction towards, and she flirts with him, either by talking about him in an adoring fashion, or by displaying non-verbal cues of interest to that man while you are around (e.g. extended eye contact, warm smiling, touching her hair, neck or face, etc.). She chats him up in your presence, all the while expressing profuse admiration for his most mundane qualities.

If online, she exchanges a chain of messages, usually drenched with emoticons. She will turn up the volume on her notification alarms, filling the room with an annoying barrage of ‘dings’. She might even give out her contact information to that man, or tentatively arrange to meet up with him (again) sometime in the future. In short, she gives feral attention to another man, and that attention is of higher quality or quantity than what she normally gives to you.

All this fawning attention and time spent on this other guy, is done with the express purpose of making you feel intense jealousy. The kicker is that it is only right that you should feel jealous, because she is giving the kind of attention to another man, that she should only be giving to you.

jealousy

It makes you think the Why question.

“She knows how to treat a man with respect and dignity. So why can’t she do that for me?”

2. Is Jealousy really Love?

The Jealousy Game is purported (by women) to be a test of ‘how much you love her’. So in her mind, if she can make you jealous somehow, then your jealousy is evidence that you ‘love’ her.

But smart men should not be deceived into believing this hamsterbated justification. When women use the word ‘Love’, it is usually a deceptive misnomer. Women generally do not understand what altruistic love is. They’re just playing games.

men women in love

Here, it might help to discern the difference between jealousy and envy. Jealousy is when you feel a sense of injustice when someone else is getting something that rightfully belongs to you, whereas, envy is when you wish you had something that rightfully belongs to someone else. Jealousy can be a righteously justifiable emotion under certain circumstances, while envy is an embodiment of the sin of covetousness and sometimes lust as well.

Scripture states that love is not envious and never loses faith.

4 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” 1st Corinthians 13:4-7 (NKJV)

Some translations, such as the NLT, substitute the word ‘jealous’ for ‘envious’. This could be misleading, because there is a fundamental difference between jealousy and envy. Jealousy is not necessarily wrong, and the Bible even states that God becomes jealous when his followers carelessly worship idols. (e.g. Exodus 34:12-16) So right now, you’re feeling what God feels.

Anyway, chances are, she doesn’t understand the difference between jealousy and envy, and making you jealous is certainly not a gesture of real love. If she is one of those rare reasonable women, then pointing out her behavior, and explaining that it is wrong, might get you somewhere. But if she is a typical woman in denial about everything, and you try to explain this to her, rest assured, you can expect an explosive reaction, because following an analogy to the passage in Exodus, you’re making her out to be an idolater!

washington obelisk

3. Why Does She Play The Jealousy Game?

I want to tell you guys how it goes with women, so that you can have some hope and confidence about your predicament. I know these things from experience.

Whenever women are trying to make you feel jealous, they are feeling their own inadequacies, and getting the goad to growth. But they don’t want to do the hard work of improving themselves. They just want a fast and quick affirmation of their SMV to give their precious ego a little boost. (BTW, choosing false comfort over true courage is referred to as ‘spiritual adultery’ in the Bible.)

The Jealousy Game is actually a bomb loaded with several payoffs, all to her interest:

  • It keeps the emotional interaction of the relationship at a visceral, feral level, which supercharges her appetite for drama.
  • She hones her skill in exercising her feminine powers.
  • She poses a test of your emotional obeisance (or lack thereof) to her feral power.
  • She tests your frame, and gets to understand how you deal with her apparent ‘lack of self-control’ around potential rivals.
  • She is ‘testing the limit’ to see what she can get away with.
  • She compares you to the other guy, to see who stacks up better.
  • She can put you on the defensive and watch you squirm, just for her own egotistical pleasure.
  • She might harvest information from these encounters to use against you, or to stick you to the wall in a future argument.
  • She explores and tests the interest in her from other guys, thus scoping out ‘greener fields’.
  • She revises and refines her estimation of her own SMV.
  • She indulges her fantasy of being one who is desired by men.
  • She expands her social network.

No matter how the game plays out, she wins a prize. Even if nothing further develops between her and the other guy, the sheer pleasure of hijacking the attention of two men is a worthwhile consolation prize to her.

attention

4. How A Man Should React

First of all, no matter what kind of problem comes up, just stay calm, think it through, and stay busy working on a solution. Things will turn out fine – with or without her.

It is going through the difficulty that increases one’s confidence to face similar difficulties, and yes, all these challenges certainly increase one’s faith.

But even after you establish a solid Frame, and step up your Game, you will still have aggravations from women. For example, my faith drives my wife batty. I am so cool and objective whenever a problem comes up, that she thinks I am clueless or lazy. So it might be helpful to accept the fact that she’s always going to dump a bit of crap, no matter what. Just recognize that it is her own sh!t, not yours. Now on to the topic at hand.

Chateau Heartiste’s post, Your Daily Game: Thot Training (January 21, 2018), covers the Jealousy Game situation. CH lists four possible reactions that a man might have when his girl plays the Jealousy Game, listed in ascending order of personal benefit and relationship management effectiveness:

  1. To get defensive, upset or angry
  2. To promptly try to make her jealous
  3. To tease her
  4. To ignore her

The first is to be avoided at all costs. The second option shows a modicum of awareness, as it compares to Dread Game, but if done as a reaction, it appears too obvious and comes off as childish in her eyes.

CH explains how the fourth option is the best response, because you don’t want to give her any satisfaction, or any feedback that might be interpreted as a sign of weakness. Ignoring her moves in the Jealousy Game is a test of your constitution and emotional control, which can be very challenging. (See CH’s post for more on this angle.)

But depending on the circumstances and the personalities involved, ignoring her behavior might appear like you are silently condoning the behavior, or that you are too weak to face up to it. You will know this is the case, if and when she slowly grows more aggressive and arrogant in her approaches to other men. In this case, teasing becomes the best option.

5. Specific Points and Plays

The main overriding strategy of teasing is to expose her mind, and reveal her to be a con artist of psychological escapism. Make her aware of how her notions are not realistic, and what she would lose from a mutiny.

Some common game tactics are useful to this end, including,

  • Agree and Amplify
  • Asking pointed, realistic questions
  • Probing and dissecting her mind
  • Dread

Most importantly, you have to trust God to show her the sin of it, and to produce a repentance in her. Remaining calm and good humored is how you display your faith in God. If you can make her talk about her secret little false idol, then you might be able to extract a confession out of her, which would snap her out of her delusions, and resolve the situation.

But if you get upset and angry, if you beg and plead, if you try to force a repentance, then you’ll come off as butthurt, you’ll give her satisfaction, lose the game, and push her away.

So the most important thing to remember in teasing is to stay calm, be emotionally detached, and seemingly entertained by her antics. Whatever she is complaining about that drove her to make you jealous, just agree and amplify it to the point of mockery. Laughing at her is almost always a good move. Some guys might find that making funny faces might increase her annoyance to their advantage.

6. What To Do When (She Says) You Failed Her (Idealistic) Expectations

First, a word about women’s expectations. Women want the effervescent circus, to be childish, to have incessant fun, to be entertained, to show their ass (figuratively and literally) to who they want, how they want, and when they want… To not have to be introspective, to not have to consider consequences, to not be held accountable… In short, to remain ignorantly, blissfully immature. They actually expect this!

expectations are my thief of joy

The point of it all is this, she wants to be lazy carefree, and rely on you to take up the slack, and she doesn’t want to worry about your reliability in doing so either. She wants to focus on the fun! The hard stuff is for you to deal with (so she thinks).

Now, women’s own inadequacies can easily get ensnarled with their hypergamous nature. As mentioned earlier, women tend to psychologically project their own inadequacies, and displace their anxieties onto you by sifting you, pushing your buttons, trying to get an emotional rise out of you, and testing your limit.

All women (and arguably all humans) have this nature, but a decent woman recognizes this proclivity to be a weakness, whereas a bad woman selfishly proclaims it as a right. For example, all the arguments and purposes behind modern feminism are seeking to preserve and perpetuate women’s (and gay’s) blissful immaturity. It is an idol.

Instead of her analyzing your ‘worthiness’, she should be reflecting on her own. It’s up to you to keep her introspective. The game tactics listed earlier all come into play at this point.

Stay cool and don’t give them any satisfaction on that. Keep her on her toes at all times. Don’t let laziness sink in, or else she will start taking it for granted, and you will lose control of the game.

Dread especially, is a gameplay that keeps them aware of the precariousness of life, and therefore humble and real. Just be careful about not laying it on too soon after she does.

falling in love hole

Now let’s apply this knowledge towards teasing her, whenever she is trying to make you jealous.

For example, if she complains that you aren’t making enough money, and then flirts with Mr. Moneybags Morton, then ask her something like,

“How many of those millionaires are named Morton?”

Say the name sarcastically, smile casually, and laugh in a dismissive manner. Then drive it home by reframing it.

“Do you think (another handsome guy she flirts with) will ever be a millionaire, assuming he ever gets a job?”

“Maybe if you gave him a magic rubdown, he’ll get inspired (sarcasm), and then he’ll suddenly transform into a high-end lawyer in D.C.! But then of course, he would ditch you for a high-end hoe. Tsk, tsk, tsk… Why is life so frustrating?

If she has ridiculed the size of your manhood, and has bragged about how she gets throbbing wet for big c0cks, then it might be better to ignore it. But if she keeps pressing the issue, then you could make it into a running joke. For example, occasionally make off-the-wall comments when she leasts expects it, insinuating that she is obsessed with the 19 cm. (7.5”) long, ding dong, donkey kong, katana that she uses for her hara kiri sex ritual – just long enough to reach her miniscule heart.

Be sure to say this in a calm manner, and smile. Don’t be angry, or else it will give her satisfaction.

7. Dealing with Dating Sites

Women who are into online dating sites (or even flirting on Facebook) are more into fantasy than reality. Here, she is fantasizing about the payoffs to the jealousy bomb mentioned earlier. So the main strategy in this case is to destroy her fairy tale and bring her back to reality. Teasing is advantageous towards this end as well.

So if your girlfriend/wife has made it known that she joined an online dating site, that’s pretty p!ss poor of her, but you can handle this little test. Just stay calm, keep busy doing your own thing, and watch her using your peripheral vision.

1459442037-selena-phone-gif-jc

Whatever drove her to seek ‘luurve’ online, find out what it is that makes her hamster squeal. Is it any of the following?

  • Attracting attention?
  • Meeting new people?
  • Getting ‘Likes’ (ego strokes) on social media?
  • Receiving mail?
  • Endless text messaging about nothing at all?
  • Being risqué (posting skin-heavy photos)?
  • Photos of hot guys with perfectly chiseled abs?

Try to identify what her little fetish is, and hone in on that with your Game strategy. Then talk about it in a ridiculous, dismissive manner. Agree and amplify it to the point of mockery.

“Are you getting a hundred messages a day now?”

She won’t.

“Oh, this one is the 19th handsome, CEO millionaire that has proposed a 10 minute marriage to you this week! You don’t saaay? And this one has a Bugatti with a matching pop-up camper and gun rack! Niiice!

“Now I understand why you think I am so _____.” (Any adjective will do, so use the diabolical one she’s fond of calling you.)

“You really shouldn’t send him those 10-year-old high school photos. Your recent post-partum photos are much more attractive. MILF’s are sexy!

“Is he taking too long to respond? Don’t worry about that. He’s probably busy cleaning up the mess on his keyboard. You know how kids are these days…”

By the way, getting her to talk about sex is not such a bad move, because she is talking about sex with you. It helps to create an association between sex and you, in her mind.

Another trick to bring her back to reality, is to ask her pointed questions.

“Has he sent the same dick pic to you that he sent to the last 41 women on Tinder (or whatever site she is on)?” (She remains silent.) “Not yet? You better ask him for one, to make sure he’s not a pencil-d!ck.”

You could even hope for an uncanny match that would blow her mind. For example,

“Is that _____? …that guy from (a city or community where you used to live)?” (Then lean in and look at his profile.) “Yeah! That’s him! Tell him I said hi! How’s his wife doing?”

The more informal the name, the more you’ll confuse her and throw her off. Remember that name and ask her about him again the next time she gets on the dating site.

Once she gets a few dick-pics and exchanges a few messages with the desperate dirtbags, she’ll realize how great she’s got it with you, and her guilt will kick in. That guilt, coupled with gratitude, and a sense of grace, is what will bring her back around. Give her the free choice to be obedient. Let God do the work of conviction, not you. This is the larger goal of teasing.

disappointed cat

8. Dealing with Exes

Women who are talking and daydreaming about an ex, and who might even contact him periodically, are missing an emotional nuance that he was feeding her ego, which is probably one that you are not into so much. You’re also wrestling against her ingrained memories of his sexual charisma, which you may never be able to totally erase.

The main strategy in this case is to remove her ego fixation on those attributes by parceling them as trite and cute, but ultimately unsatisfying towards fulfilling a more sophisticated desire, which she presumably has developed with you. Teasing also works well to this end.

If she is actually contacting an ex, you could tease her by asking her personal questions. Don’t be afraid to dig into her on that, and be sure to make her ex look pathetic.

“So how many women has _____ banged since he last had yours? He’ll never settle down…”

“He messaged you first? He must be drunk again.”

“We know he only slept around because he was sooo heartbroken after losing you! Poor guy!”

“I forget now, were you his number 26, or 27, AFTER he came to (the city where they met), or is that just the number he told you?”

“Of course! He wanted to marry you, but he just couldn’t handle all your purple rubber vibrators (or whatever her fetish is)!”

“I know he’s got a pinky d!ck, because halfway in, it gets a lot tighter.”

You could also mock her sexual mannerisms. For example, if she makes certain faces or funny sounds while she is getting drilled, you can imitate these while saying a bogus name in a stuttering, choking voice.

“Ee-aww! Ee-aww!” (guttural gasp) “Ca-ree-ass! Ca-ree-ass!” (viz. ‘Chris’, in a falsetto voice)

The point here is to expose her desire for him on a conscious level, which can be dealt with, mocked and deposed.

Or you could sing a ridiculous love song with puns and his name inserted.

Tiny bubbles… in the sea – men… tiny buttholes… make me feel haaappy… make me squirm all over…”

Some of these behaviors might seem hopelessly pathetic, but the point is, make yourself laugh. If you can make her laugh too, then you’ve won the Game.

man and woman laughing

9. Conclusions

Always remember to stay calm, cool, and confident, as an expression of your faith in God. Displaying this behavior is what proves to her that you are better than anyone else she could find.

Make sure you call out the thing that turns her on (or off) the most. Make her talk about it, if possible. You might be able to get her to confess it, which is necessary for a repentance to happen.

You need to know, when flirt comes to f*ck, is she in or out? You’ve got to press the issue and make her decide to either stay with you, or leave. Either way it turns out, you need to know the state of the union, and be at peace with that.

If she’s really into you, and just giving you a sh!t test, then she’ll humbly and silently make you a sandwich, fold your laundry, etc. with gratitude, after you expose her bluff.

But if she can actually talk about such things calmly and arrogantly, and add her own spin to it without some kind of confession taking place, then she is not just daydreaming about prince charming, she is talking reality. In this case, your relationship was over a millennium ago.

If she actually does jump into an affair, or leaves you, then she’s choosing sin over grace. In that case, there’s no goodness in her, and you’re better off without her. Dump the thot and move on. That’s tough advice to take, but it’s better to face the reality of it head on, and stay on top of your life, because life is too short to play the Jealousy Game.

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Zeitgeist Report 2018

It is of interest to see how the Red Pill awakening will change societal advances in the near future. History maps out the trajectory of where we have been, and suggests where we are going. (Also of interest, the swing of the pendulum has been fairly predicted by Strauss and Howe in their book, ‘Generations’.)

I put together this crude outline of some important events in Manospherian history, and I found several ‘periods’ of development, which I’ll call a zeitgeist. It seems coincidental that these zeitgeists seem to align with U.S. presidential terms.

[Eds. note: To those readers who are seasoned veteran Manospherians, my apologies if I have omitted any important points. Please leave a message, and I will make an addendum.]

A List Of The Zeitgeists

1992-2000 Decadence of Society under growing feminist influence.

2000-2008 Golden age of PUA’s.

2008-2016 The rise (and splitting) of the Manosphere and other conservative reactionary groups.

2016-2024? The waning influence of the Manosphere. Red Pill Awakening continues and spreads to the general populace amidst continuing societal decay. Many women begin to respect and appreciate the Red Pill perspective. The sun finally sets on PUArtistry, as men segregate into different archetypes of SMMV hierarchy. The rise of Nutraditionalism.

2024-2032? The Reset? Crash and let ’em burn, the Phoenix rises.

2032-2040?

A Brief Outline Of The History

Prior to 2014: It was abundantly shown that Biblical Christianity is closely correlated with many, if not all, Red Pill truths, to which even the most hedonistic PUA’s, and avant atheists have tipped their hats in sincere regard. Based on this, Christians and Red Pillers found themselves in the same boat. A very clear line then became evident, between those who acknowledge truth, and those who do not. ‘Truthers’ acknowledge the facts for what they are, while ‘Others’ continue to hamsterbate their emotions and set their autopilot to follow the script they’ve been fed, e.g. ‘be true to your heart’, the cultural feminist imperative, and the contradictory pseudovalues of ‘diversity’ and ‘equality’. After these new battle lines had become evident, the Truthers assumed that those groups who are less prone to delusion and deception have the high ground.

2015: The documentary, The Red Pill, by Cassie Jaye was released amid a huge controversy.

2016: To everyone’s surprise, Trump wins the U.S. presidential election, thereby confirming the conservative platform, indicating the rise of nationalism, and proving that the liberal media had fluffed the ratings, and staged propaganda in Clinton’s favor.

2017: The End (or regeneration) of Conservatism as we know it.

December 14-15, 2017: Vox and Dalrock, two longstanding lords of the Manosphere had a row about MGTOW, Morale and Respect, which was contained in the following posts.

  1. Vox Popoli: Low Morale Men (December 9, 2017)
  2. Dalrock: No respect. (December 14, 2017)

2018: A call goes out for Manospherians to move on from analysis, and try to precipitate some strategies for the various ontological problems in society.

Smashing Pumpkins Zeitgeist

The Red Pill Philosophy has Precipitated Completely

The concepts listed below are becoming widely accepted and greatly revered as the standard fare of the Red Pill, at least for Red Pill aware people. Sure, there will always be new recruits coming in, who find novelty (and anger) in these discoveries, but the concepts themselves have been thoroughly discussed from just about every angle, and have been analyzed and articulated in ‘elegant’ form.

The Fundamental Problems of Modern Society

The Female Feral Nature

The Current State of the SMP

Game

There are remaining only a few small pockets of confusion to clear up, including the following.

The remaining topics are highly dependent on one’s value system and world view, so maybe they will never reach a full resolution.

But whether there are any further developments from within the men’s community or not, we can still look forward to the reeducation of society to reach a critical momentum. I am convinced that it will, eventually, because all this information is a Godsend for any young virile man, no matter what segment of the manosphere he falls into, Gamers, marriage-minded, or MGTOW.

Future Projections and Prognostications

The Manosphere and other conservative blogs are projecting where society is going in the near future.

  • An increase in the frequency and social acceptability of Open Hypergamy.
  • Increasing castigation and emasculation of men and fatherhood
  • Mass Immigration changes demographics, cultures and traditions.
  • Miscegenation on a larger scale.
  • Decline of the White Majority
  • Decline of Christian Influence
  • Decline of Protestantism and the rise of more conservative religions, like Orthodox. Example here.
  • Persecution of Christians – As of late, the persecution, rape and genocide of Christians is reaching record proportions, especially in the middle east and Africa.
  • Persecution of Red Pillers – As Scott and Boxer have pointed out, Red Pill adherents are catching an ever increasing amount of flak from opposing segments of society, e.g. feminists, liberals, media conglomerates, ‘big brother’ entities, (whatever one might believe they are).

[Eds. note: I plan to revise for accuracy, and update this information, in the future.]

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Censorship of Praise is the Thief of Joy

Have you ever noticed that any public statement of joy that glorifies the Lord God is painstakingly edited out of live feeds?

Of course, we know this is because the expression of true joy is deeply irritating in the eyes of the evil minions and emissaries lurking in mass media and elsewhere.

This came to my attention when I saw the recent news about an EF1 tornado that hit a Nazarene church in central Ohio. Miraculously, no one was hurt, and the church edifice only suffered cosmetic damages. Given this respite, wouldn’t you expect these Nazarenes to be hopping with joy and singing Hallelujah! like Pentecostals?

Now take a look at this news clip. (The beginning has coverage of the tornado’s damage. The report on the church begins at 0:35.)

When the news media hones in on the story, they don’t interview the pastor or the deacons of the church. Instead, they interview the sophisticated architect of the church (McKnight), who also happens to be a member. I wonder, how many more hours of labor did they spend searching for the architect and arranging an interview, rather than just calling the pastor’s front page number? And why the architect? (Meaning no disrespect to the man himself, but it’s remiscient of GAOTU.) Why not the electrician, or the mason, or the groundskeepers? Why not someone who was actually in the building at the moment the tornado struck?

The Lord is my strength and shield. I trust him with all my heart. He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy. I burst out in songs of thanksgiving.” Psalm 28:7

In the interview, you can feel the intense joy that McKnight experiences, but the only verbal statement of joy retained by the news network is when he says, “Wow! I’m really proud of this building!” I expected him to finish that statement with an acknowledgment of the Lord’s grace, and I was disappointed and angry when it didn’t come.

Hey Mr. Newscaster, kudos to McKnight for a job well done, but it wasn’t merely his architectural skills that kept that building in place.

Based on McKnight’s gushing testimony, I truly believe that he did express genuine joy and thanksgiving for this miracle. But you won’t see much of it in the video. Sadly, there is no thanksgiving, no praise, no mention of God’s merciful hand, or Jesus. All credit to God has been carefully edited out. If you go back and watch the clip carefully, you can see how they cut and spliced together the video in order to remove all his references to the Lord.

When men neglect glorifying the Lord, and withhold from Him the sacrifice of praise, the spirit of hypermodern humanism soon settles in, followed by notions of fate, then hopelessness, and finally, idolatry. It’s a just reward for those who are ashamed of Christ.

“For whoever is ashamed of Me and My words, of him the Son of Man will be ashamed when He comes in His own glory, and in His Father’s, and of the holy angels.” Luke 9:26 (NKJV)

The Nazarene Communications Network (NCN) News, a publication of the Nazarene Church, doesn’t give any credit to God either, for this event. Their article, Ohio church helps with recovery efforts after tornado (April 6, 2018) only parrots the news flash from WCMH-TV, and the interview with the architect.

I wept when I saw this. How long will you disrespect the Lord by withholding your praise?

39 “Some of the Pharisees in the crowd said to Jesus, ‘Teacher, rebuke your disciples!’ 40 ‘I tell you,’ he replied, ‘if they keep quiet, the stones will cry out.'” ~ Luke 19:39-40

The recent mass proliferation of homegrown news media and blogs, are all proof that ‘the stones are crying out’ for us, as humans (specifically, the News media) to give God His dues of recognition, credit, praise and gratitude.

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The Dispensation of the Red Pill

Not everyone has an ability to communicate Red Pill truths, except those who have earned the capacity to do so. Those who have made more costly mistakes, suffered more, learned more difficult lessons, and have found more grace, have the unique ability, yes, even the duty, to offer encouragement and insights to others who are suffering in the same manner.

Readership: All

The truths of the Bible which have become hollow in modern times, need to be revisited and revamped. The truth begins nowhere else but inside us.

Over in the comments section on Dalrock’s post, How to spot a faker. (April 3, 2018) we find a lot of men reacting to the implicit treachery in the pulpit by questioning the meaning of it all, and what is actually right. Commenter dvdivx wrote [emphasis mine],

“Look I get the fact that Wilson is serving Satan. Could pick many more pastors putting idols like the vagina before God. Not a shortage. How about someone doing something right. Its like a dead horse. Wilson’s not going to change. His heart has hardened and does not belong to God nor his Son. We get that. How about a post of what is right?

Easier said than done, and who could do so?

For a man to get on a blog and fully describe in detail what is right, and what really works in a marriage, it is as rare as a show-quality paint job on a junkyard car.

The fact is, most guys who are enjoying a joyful, fruitful marriage would rather be busy with their wives and families, and would not feel compelled to labor long hours writing blog posts about it.

The most intriguing facet concerning the status of being happily married, is that these people are not consciously aware of what it is that they’re doing right. So even if they did comprehend the widespread need of such knowledge, and made a diligent effort to disseminate the same, they would not even know how to describe it in words that a struggling, suffering person could at once grasp and understand.

The only person who is going to be able to offer an expert, detailed, and rationally understandable comparison between Success and Failure is the man who has experienced BOTH worlds, and truly much more of the latter.

SeriouslyPleaseDropIt wrote [emphasis mine],

“The problem with all this verbal hedgery is that disciples are not pundits. The two populations have entirely different reactions to things written. Pundits will look for logical inconsistencies, mis-steps, etc. Those trying to actually learn something will be much more forgiving on that score, but much more demanding of actual wisdom. How many had to screw up, and how badly, that Heartiste was able to contribute something of value?

“Every time a pastor hedges to avoid the ire of feminists, a young Christian man discovers the pickup artists. Heaven grant that he doesn’t linger.”

I believe SeriouslyPleaseDropIt is hinting at the dynamic of ministry described in 2nd Corinthians 1:3-7.

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also abounds through Christ. Now if we are afflicted, it is for your consolation and salvation, which is effective for enduring the same sufferings which we also suffer. Or if we are comforted, it is for your consolation and salvation. And our hope for you is steadfast, because we know that as you are partakers of the sufferings, so also you will partake of the consolation.

Who are these men who have received ‘consolation’ and ‘comfort’ from God?

Considering how decrepit western society and morality has become, there are a multitude of men out there who have experienced the common hardships associated with the fruit of Feminism. You know them…

  • Married men who tolerate a base existence living with an obese termagant for the sake of their children.
  • Those frivorced, single fathers, who have to fork over 30% (or more) of their hard-earned dollars to a self-centered witch who betrayed his love and trust.
  • Young MGTOW’s who have read the writing on the wall, and dare not risk the hope of having a family.

How many of these men have overcome their mortal wounds and bitterness, and have lived to tell the tale? These are the men who have received ‘consolation’ and ‘comfort’ from God. These are the men who were born to be the new leaders in this dark age.

And the age is truly dark. Rollo Tomassi described this condition in his comment.

“In light of the last 3 posts here, not only am I amazed that Christians ever reproduce at all, but I think I get why porn ‘use’ among Christian men is statistically higher than any other demographic of men.”

“What a mind job. I understand sex has always been the thumbscrew of men that the church uses to obligate compliance, but in an age where the Feminine Imperative drives doctrine (and by extension faith) and lays out those obligations it’s become a self-perpetuating form of torture for men. Man up, marry those sluts. If she doesn’t want to fuck you – your fault. You don’t behave in the fem-church approved manner that all your male ‘shepherds’ are explaining to you, which the imperative dictates to them.”

“Turn to porn to find some kind of sexual release because you didn’t do everything right to appease your wife? Your fault, you lustful male.”

“Seriously, what would possibly be viewed as an upside to Christian marriage and sex for a guy? For generations (up to even this one) we get this male shame for having repressed women’s sexual natures for so long. This is women’s go-to gripe with the church, but it’s complete bullshit. It’s men’s sexuality that is repressed and used to fuel the church of the Feminine Imperative.”

There’s a world of hurt out there. That’s for sure. It’s epidemic, it’s mass produced, and it’s perpetuated by the institutions that were put in place for our well-being (e.g. the churches, local governments, courts and legal systems).

That’s the bad news.

But the good news is that all these hurting men are in a prime condition to help and encourage other hurting men.

Why can’t these men extend the same ‘consolation’ and ‘comfort’ to other men who ‘partake of the same sufferings’?

If you’re reading this, and you feel like God is putting his finger on you, saying, “That’s you!”, then whether you believe in God or not, you have received a heavenly calling to reach out to other men.

No, really! Consider it.

Are you an MGTOW with a wad of cash and nothing to do? Do you know a frivorced brother who’s working three jobs until his dying day, just to make his alimony and child support payments, and avoid jail time? Why not help him out with those payments? Even if you just cover one or two of those payments to get him through a pinch, you’ll have a true and loyal friend for life!

That is an eternal reward.

Maybe you don’t have a load of cash, but you’ve got a special skill. A buddy needs a brake job, but lacks the tools and expertise? Invite him over to your garage on a Saturday. Work on his car together. Show him how it’s done, and have a beer and a laugh!

In doing so, you are punching back at the evil forces of this age.

No money, and no skills? No problem. Have a barbecue party, and invite other men from your community, neighborhood, church, or workplace. Go on a hiking/camping trip. Tour the Appalachian Mountains on motorcycle. See the Adirondacks on horseback. Go to the Badlands, Yellowstone, or just your local nature reserve.

Enjoy your lives together with other men. No women are necessary!

Point is, maybe you’ve been cheated by women, by your church, by your employer, by society… but lift your eyes now to the hills (Psalm 121). Every new day brings a new beginning. This is the time for you to shine!

Reach out to those other men in the moments of their greatest distress, men who are in need of your companionship and masculine viewpoints, and your reward in heaven will be great!

Pick up the phone right now and call a buddy. Then get packing!

God bless you!

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Posted in Attitude, Building Wealth, Collective Strength, Determination, Enduring Suffering, Leadership, Male Power, Models of Success, Purpose, Relationships | 14 Comments

Things I Learned About Women in College

Women require more than what they’re willing or able to give.

Readership: Men

A previous post, My Dating Experiences in College (March 25, 2018), told a story from the earlier part of the rude wake-up from my Blue Pill education. This post included some poignant and difficult lessons I learned about myself in the process.

But the story is not complete without also telling what I learned about women through this experience. Hence, this follow-up post covering the things I learned about women while in college.

The main topics covered are listed here.

  1. Women Are Selfish Singularities
  2. Women Are Consumed By A Lust That Is Delusionally Labeled As Love
  3. Women Need To Be Taught How to Get Along With A Man
  4. The Enigmatic “Right Time” Phenomena
  5. Women View Sex as the “Qualifying Round”
  6. Women’s Sexually Charged Desire Can (Possibly) Be A Good Thing

1. Women Are Selfish Singularities

Practically speaking, and contrary to my previous expectations, (most college aged) women simply do not think long term, nor are they mature enough to operate at a higher level of relationship performance, such as what would be required to establish a solid marriage and family.

After meeting a few hundred women like this, I learned that this is just how women are.

Since I was majoring in Physics at the time, I discovered, quite humorously, that the scientific word ‘singularity’ is an apt descriptor of such women. Merriam-Webster’s definition of ‘singularity’ is,

  1. Something that is singular: such as

a: A separate unit

b: Having an unusual or distinctive manner or behavior : peculiarity

  1. The quality or state of being singular
  2. A point at which the derivative of a given function of a complex variable does not exist but every neighborhood of which contains points for which the derivative does exist
  3. A point or region of infinite mass density at which space and time are infinitely distorted by gravitational forces and which is held to be the final state of matter falling into a black hole

Definitions 1 and 2 are self-explanatory, and there is also a pun reflecting her state of being ‘single’.

Definition 3 above describes the ‘money pit’ aspect of getting along with women. Think of a bottomless hole with sloping sides, swallowing up everything that comes within its vicinity, including love, emotional investment, time, money, labor, and of course, d!ck.

The Sarlacc creature from Star Wars is a similarly fitting analogy.

Concerning definition 4, women (especially younger ones) are spoiled, selfish and lazy, and have no interest to love or to invest in a man. They want to do all the taking, and none of the giving. Their approach towards real love is a deep space vacuum – a black hole singularity that absorbs everything, and gives back nothing.

Another good analogy is the story of the Tar Baby – you just can’t touch them without getting into a mess.

Since those days in college, I have avoided women under 25 like the plague. They’re just too foolish, immature, and selfish.

2. Women Are Consumed By A Lust That Is Delusionally Labeled As Love

A book I read last year, The Love a Wife Desires, the Respect a Husband Needs, by Dr. Emerson Eggerich, stated something to the effect that, ‘love is the natural language of the female’. True to the time (2004), this idea is a core concept of Blue Pill existentialism, and as such, was believed by virtually everyone, prior to the advent of the Red Pill.

But based on my experiences, I have to say that this postulate paints with too broad a sugar coated stroke, making it too easy to miss the truth. It is true that women naturally look for love, and that they are attuned to the language of love, but they are not into actually giving love, unless they are taught to do so through the discipline of love.

According to my Blue Pill education, I expected women to be more interested in a committed marriage, than in sex. But totally against the Blue Pill myths, the grand majority of all the women I met, did not have the mind to commit, nor even to love in the true sense of the word.

Their desire was not driven by a hypergamic, branch-swinging, self-betterment, as is described elsewhere on the Manosphere. No, they wanted to indulge the Tingles unto sexual intercourse, and they wanted to do so, RIGHT NOW. They also had the simplistic expectation that I would intuitively ‘know’ what they expected, and that I would ‘move in for the kill’ upon their signal.

After meeting hundreds of women like this, I realized that modern women do not, in fact, speak the language of love naturally, nor do they even have the mind to put love first. I also discovered that they had a different definition of ‘love’ than I did. They might talk about ‘finding true love’, but what they really mean is ‘exploring intense Tingles’, and they mistakenly believed that to be ‘love’.

I won’t deny that an emotional stimulation is an important part of true, romantic love, but for a lot of women, it’s the only part there is! If it’s not fun and exciting, if it has the least bit of drudgery, if it requires emotional work, or (God forbid!) sacrifice, then without the hopes conferred by the blessed Tingles, she is out, and on to the next guy.

The thing that made me angry was that most of these women were ‘good Christian girls’. (I selected such women because I was unwilling to date or marry an unbeliever.)

The word, solipsism, is frequently used in Red Pill literature to describe the self-absorbed nature of women. Solipsism means,

“The philosophical idea that only one’s own mind is sure to exist. As an epistemological position, solipsism holds that knowledge of anything outside one’s own mind is unsure; the external world and other minds cannot be known and might not exist outside the mind. As a metaphysical position, solipsism goes further to the conclusion that the world and other minds do not exist.” ~ Infogalactic: Solipsism

Although most young women are definitely this way, there is one idea that all women seem to share – the Tingle-Tantric Fairy Tale. Solipsism is overcome when confronted with other minds who share this dream world, and then (and only then) authentic heart-to-heart communication may commence. PUA’s and long-married men know this secret best.

3. Women Need To Be Taught How to Get Along With A Man

Another problem with the false belief that ‘love is the natural language of the female’, is that it seems to imply that females don’t need to be taught or told to love, because they do it by default.

But this is not totally true. Women have to be taught these things over time. They only love by default if they were molded to be that way.

“Train up a child in the way (s)he should go, and when (s)he is old (s)he will not depart from it.” ~ Proverbs 22:6

It is best if they learn love and proper behavior from a disciplined upbringing.

Personally, I believe that a woman can only learn selfless love and proper respect from a wise, disciplinary father. A father has the unique charge to groom his daughter(s) for marriage, and mould them into women with the potential to become happy, worthy wives.

Without this parental influence, young girls are abandoned to learn the Fairy Tales from Disney.

And sadly, once a girl passes adolescence, that prime window of opportunity has passed. As a woman ages, she will only become more rigid and headstrong in what she learned as an adolescent.

They can’t learn love from a romantic interest, because they’re in Transaction Mode, or Affirmation Mode, and not in Humble Mode, Learning Mode, or Gratitude Mode.

If she’s in Transaction Mode, she’ll have a quid pro quo mindset about relational duties and responsibilities – the ‘equality’ stuff – but in reality, she’ll only think it’s ‘equal’ if it’s more in her favor. If that should ever occur, it tends to make her too comfortable and lazy, which leads to her being ungrateful. Then after a while of that, she gets the nagging feeling, characterized by an annoying vacancy of the Tingles, that the man’s SMV is beneath her own, and that she deserves someone with a higher SMV. After that, she will fitness test the relationship until it is destroyed by doing so.

If she’s in Affirmation Mode, she’ll be focused on her own feelings and needs, namely Tingles and her own Contentment (not yours), which can be complicated to maintain. Men call this type of woman ‘high-maintenance’, meaning that it requires an inordinate amount of work to keep her happily occupied with her idols.

Getting a woman into Humble Mode, Learning Mode, or Gratitude Mode is even more complicated, especially if she doesn’t recognize that it is to your mutual benefit that she should adopt this stance. Dealing with a woman like this requires a (typical) man’s diligent longitudinal study of the topic. But the abridged version is this: To keep her interested and open to learning those eternal operatives of love and respect, and to continue moulding excellence within her character, it essentially becomes necessary that the time is filled with Game and Tingles.

In summary, women can’t be taught (very easily) in a romantic relationship.

However, I have noticed that many women do learn to love by becoming mothers. It seems that this experience makes them realize their place in the linear hierarchy, seeing how they are no longer the ‘baby’ to be coddled, but must instead provide for her baby. I suspect that this is the truth behind the scripture in 1st Timothy 2:15, which says,

“Nevertheless she will be saved in childbearing if they continue in faith, love, and holiness, with self-control.”

From this perspective, it is easy to see how abortion can be a d@mning decision, for both mother and child.

4. The Enigmatic “Right Time” Phenomena

There is this weird ‘right time’ phenomena. It might be due to a biological clock of some sort, or it might just be how humans get something in their heads, which they tend to act out.

Women especially, have this notion of, ‘it’s the right time’ to do something, and this isn’t well understood, even by themselves.

When they feel it’s the ‘right time’ to start being sexually active, then they just start being sexually active, and they’ll do it with whatever guy happens to be in their life at that moment. It doesn’t really matter much who the guy is, as long as he serves the male function in her life (and bed), and he doesn’t revile her ego in the process.

Even the Tingles are not a significant motivator, although they often serve as a catalyst. For example, Stacey gets the Tingles for Chad, but she can’t bed Chad, so she does John instead. But John can’t sustain her Tingles, so she doesn’t respect him or take him seriously. As soon as she meets Rob, the Tingles strike again, and that makes her grow irritated with John and branch swing to Tom. But Tom cannot tingulate her any better than John could. Repeto itero, ad nauseam, et cetera. (It’s a recursive process that I have seen happen sooo many times… This is why female sexuality is so heavily regulated in patriarchal cultures, and also why sexually liberated women despise patriarchy.)

And then, when women feel it’s the ‘right time’ to get married, then they just get married, and they’ll marry whatever guy happens to be in their life at that moment. Again, it really doesn’t matter too much who the guy is, as long as he seems to be ‘marriage material’, and is somewhat disliked by her parents. I guess it wouldn’t matter at all who he is, if she’s only going to strip him of all worthy assets, and then dump him when the source dries up. Here also, the Tingles are not a significant motivator, although they serve as a catalyst. This also has well known, catastrophic consequences, such as affairs, cuckolding, frivorce, and legalized kidnapping.

This phenomenon stands in contrast from reports I’ve heard about many other women who say they are looking for ‘the one’. I haven’t met many of those. But I will conjecture that ‘the one’ in those women’s fantasies is merely a mythical creature of their imaginations, as mentioned before, someone who accelerates their Tingles past full throttle – an entirely fictionalized fantasy with no useful purpose other than to validate their ego.

The thing that made me confused (and resentful too), is that the ‘right time’ for women to have sex, always happened long before the ‘right time’ came for them to marry. I came up with the following reasons why this might be.

  • It is a selfish desire for satisfaction, and an inability to delay gratification, coupled with low moral convictions, and no social consequences surrounding sexual activities.
  • General immaturity, and an associated inability to accept the responsibilities involved with a mature relationship and sex.
  • They all got waylaid by Satan’s deception, on an industrialized, mass production scale.

I’ve met a very small number of women who chose to remain abstinent until marriage. But from my estimation, those women had such a low SMV, that if they didn’t display the virtue of faithfulness through keeping their virginity, they wouldn’t have much else to offer a man. More interestingly, they were all attracted to very charismatic guys with a lot of sexual experience, which really irritated the h#ll out of them. I could also see that those charismatic guys (that they could catch) had so much sexual experience, that they had gained an ability to look beyond the visceral, aesthetic attraction (or the lack thereof) that most other guys get hung up on, in selecting a partner.

5. Women View Sex as the “Qualifying Round”

I discovered, through my unique experiences, that the applied, ‘runaway’, female hypergamy is necessarily a drive for sex, but they don’t view sex like men do. Men view sex as the ultimate goalpost, or at least a major milestone in the development of a relationship. But (feral) women view sex as the ‘Qualifying Round’ – a test that men need to pass before advancing onto a LTR.

This ontology is something that I haven’t seen described in any other Manosphere blog. But this post from The Masculine Principle comes pretty close: You Mean Nothing to a Woman Until You Have Sex (March 9, 2015). Here are a couple relevant excerpts.

“A woman decides within seconds if she wants a man or not, and then immediately tests him to see if he is important enough, and in demand enough, to not have to chase her. Almost anything he does to pursue her, please her, or try to get close to her makes his value drop…”

Along this vain, I used to think that resisting sex would increase my perceived SMV. I was wrong! This is true for women, but for men, the opposite is closer to the truth.

“A lot of men don’t know this. They assume because they have put significant time and effort into wooing a girl and she is responding, that he is important to her. Nothing could be further from the truth. You will rarely find a woman who will admit this. But their behavior shows this very clearly. It is the rule, not the exception. Until you put your penis in a woman, you mean nothing to her, no matter what. Even after that, many will still flake on you soon after.”

That means, if their implicit hypergamic desire is not met with a sexual payoff, rich in Tingles, then women turn cold and hateful. If you fail the ‘qualifying round’, you are automatically ‘disqualified’ from any further ‘competition’ for her attentions.

The flip side of the coin that is not covered by The Masculine Principle, is that if you actually expect a woman to chase you, or to do any kind of ‘work’ to earn your love and attention, then she will quickly turn tail and run to the next guy, and he doesn’t need to be any more alpha than you are. He could simply be any guy within her immediate proximity who ‘reads’ her expected need for sexual affirmation, and delivers on the spot, without a lot of fuss.

Even if she thinks you’re a perfect catch, even if she esteems you to be way above her on the SMV scale, she will still insist on playing the passive recipient, and pretend that she has no agency. If you don’t read her signs and jump on the chance, then she is off to the next guy who, hopefully, will ‘read her’ better than you can, and deliver the goods without her having to ask. If she even thinks she has to ask, or tell you what she wants, then that will immediately disqualify you as well.

As I’ve grown older, I’ve come to recognize that the use of sex as a qualifying factor, is actually a power play that says,

“Give me the kind of sex I want, when I want it, or else you will face my wrath and my rejection of you.”

Men can use this power play, as much as women do, but fewer men have the ability to draw a woman of their choice into this dynamic.

Anyway, this control-based approach is a long way from true love.

6. A Woman’s Sexually Charged Desire Can (Possibly) Be A Good Thing

One facet of my experiences which I initially rejected, and didn’t really understand until after fully digesting the Red Pill years later, is that a man is blessed if the woman has a sexually charged desire for him. This is a state necessary for the man to exert power and control in the relationship, as well as grant him the ability to extract gratuitous p00n from her on a regular basis, when needed. The leadership of the man is essential towards constructing a stable, happy relationship.

I can actually see how this is a good thing. Now, when I say it’s a good thing, I don’t mean that it’s good for building my notch count. No, I mean it’s good for a woman to desire a particular man in that way, because it indicates a genuine physical attraction, which is absolutely crucial to have in a sexually satisfying relationship or marriage, as opposed to a contrived, transactional ‘arrangement’.

Conclusions

It took me a while to accept the fact that I wasn’t going to find a mature, loving, respectful woman, who earnestly desires me sexually, and who is also going to wait until marriage. At least, not in today’s society, and not even within the church.

Years later, I came to the conclusion that I would never find a loving woman (of a sufficiently equitable SMV) unless I moulded her myself.

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Posted in Discerning Lies and Deception, Hypergamy, Maturity, Personal Growth and Development, Satire | Tagged , , | 10 Comments

My Dating Experiences in College

This post describes the author’s experiences, which suggest that the expression of women’s hypergamic tendency is spontaneously immediate and sexually motivated, as opposed to being intrinsic or idealistic.

Targeted Readership: Men interested in relationships with women.

The Background

The following story happened in the 1990’s, when I was in college. I was unaware of the convergence of Churchianity, which had already gained full momentum by that time. (I would guess that the convergence of the church took place in the late 1970’s, a time when Christianity was popular in culture, but I was too young to say for sure – that would be something for others to discuss in the comments.)

I was definitely Blue Pill back then. But that really didn’t mean much, because everybody was Blue Pill back then, and in terms of awareness, I was not much different from any other guy. Back then, any guy that had any kind of Game, was totally unaware of it, such that ‘creating attraction’ was still a hit-or-miss, shot-in-the-dark, type of thing.

The Aloof Game was the only type of Game that guys were aware of, and even that was only vaguely understood, as in, ‘don’t stare at her for too long’, and ‘don’t call her every day’. Very few guys could pull that off very well, and I was not one of them.

According to the popular consensus of the time, it seemed that only when a guy truly had no interest in a woman, could he pull off the Aloof Game with success, but in that case, it didn’t really matter anyway.

Guys often talked about the frustration of the attraction phenomena, among many other things related to the feminine mystique – both complicated subjects which were only exposed about a decade later, and which are now commonly discussed on the Manosphere.

The Story

I dated hundreds of women during my time in college and graduate school. My rough guesstimate is that I had between 200-250 dates over 5 years (about 1 per week).

I had lots of opportunities for sexual involvement, but I turned them down. By ‘opportunities’, I mean that a small number of these women quite eagerly displayed their bare breasts, and/or spread their thatch in front of me.

Their explicit advances really shocked me, because, according to my Blue Pill education, women were more interested in security and commitment, i.e. marriage, and not so much into wild profligate sex for the sake of sex, as men are. Thus, I naturally concluded that any woman who presses for sex on the first or second date is a morally corrupt woman – not one worthy of my time and attention in my search for a wife.

So then what could I do? I had to feign modesty, offer them coffee, and make polite conversation until the date was over.

‘Embarassing’ is a grotesque understatement.

I have to say that resisting those temptations so many times left me somewhat twisted, bitter, and remorseful. I know what it means to be ‘tempted sore’, and tested to the mettle.

Looking back, I realize that I probably could have slept with most of them – not just those that stripped nude uninvited, but also most of the others as well, if I had pushed it. But I didn’t, and I didn’t want to either.

It’s not like I was gay, or anything like that. Actually, I did want to, but I was serious about my Christian faith, and so I considered sex to be a temptation, and not a priority goal. I had some pretty strong convictions that sex outside of marriage was just plain wrong. I expected sex would happen inevitably, but only with the right person, and then only after marriage.

I had high standards, and clear expectations. I was looking for a hot, emotionally mature, and (the kicker) a loving woman, whom I could marry. The right person (for me) would be a woman who was serious about her Christian faith, who truly loved me and respected me as a unique individual, a woman who had oneitis for me. After marriage, of course I would let her have the sex smorgasbord. But not until then!

Now, after taking the Red Pill, I know this expectation follows a typical western guy’s thinking – that a woman should be a source of selfless love – which is a trope of the forlorn beta.

If I was an Incel, it would have been pathetic indeed. But I was a VOLcel (or Hicel)! (Some of you might think that is even more pathetic!)

It didn’t take any girl very long to figure out my game. About half of them picked it up less than halfway through the first date, and not one of them lasted longer than three dates.

Was I being arrogant? Pharisaical? I’m sure it seemed that way to them.

But they never spoke of their feelings. So I didn’t know what was happening on their end for the longest time.

Occasionally, I would continue trying to contact the girls that I thought were a little better than most, hoping to discover the reason why they got cold feet. I wanted to tell them what I expected, but I never got the chance. The typical response they gave me was what we would now call a determined ‘ghosting’. They never wanted to see me or talk to me again, and they would go to great lengths to avoid me.

I now know, and as you could expect, all those women I dated hated me because I had this expectation of them to take the relationship seriously, and to postpone sexual relations until marriage. They were frustrated because they couldn’t get their socks off with me, and they probably felt very ashamed of themselves as well.

Most of them had a very high rebound rate, sometimes with one of my guy friends. Only one of my guy friends was respectable enough to talk to me about it first. (I told him to go ahead, but I also told him what went on with me.)

But this wasn’t the classic hypergamy in action (trading up). I believe this because of several reasons.

  • They could not see past the offensive feelings generated by their notion that their sexual advances were ‘rejected’ by me.
  • The women were ‘too horny’, and frustrated by my apparent rejection.
  • (It’s my impression that) my guy friends were below me on the SMV scale.
  • I believed that they didn’t really understand – or care, what constituted real value and virtue in a potential partner.

I often wondered if that was a passive aggressive form of revenge on her part. But I didn’t really care. I just crossed those women off my list of possible partners, crossed those guy friends off my list of closest buddies, and went on to the next one. I expected better from a woman that I would consider worthy of marrying.

Seeing this happen again and again, further confirmed the fact, in my mind, that what we now call ‘sexual affirmation’ (or Tingles) was more important to those women than love or obeying God.

The Goal of Contentment

Looking back, I could have gained a lot of immediate, sexual contentment if I didn’t stick to my principles. But I wanted a deeper, more lasting, dependable kind of contentment. I wanted the contentment that only a warm family and children could bring. That was my goal, and I was determined not to mess around and F it up.

At that time, I intuitively knew about the Four Stages of Marriage. A brief description of each stage is listed here.

  1. The Ecstatic Fantasy Stage, where one is swept away in the hope of love.
  2. The Counter-Dependent Stage, where one is annoyed with the other person, and learns to claim one’s own identity.
  3. The Commitment Stage, where one learns to communicate, compromise, and cooperate with the mutual joining and healing process.
  4. The Blessed Stage, where one finds personal autonomy, emotional independence, spiritual liberty, security, comfort, contentment, honor, and the original ecstasy of Stage 1.

Stage 4 contains the primary blessings obtainable within marriage, which are fundamentally spiritual – liberty, contentedness, and wholeness in particular.

I think a lot of people don’t really understand this Four Stage process until after they’ve screwed it up.

In particular, I believe many people can’t handle true contentedness. They have the notion that the ‘wanting’ is better than the ‘having’. I have met too many women who were ‘in love with being in love’, and they thought that was truly love. But actually, that’s not real love. They’re essentially ‘in love’ with the Tingles of infatuation, lust, envy, and covetousness. But since they are determined to make the Tingles last forever, it never grows beyond the lust, so they never understood what true love is all about, and thus, they are unworthy of entering into a sanctified marriage.

Couples who don’t understand the purpose of obtaining contentment in marriage often look at all the other couples who DO have this, and come to decide that they’re fake or unrealistic. They just don’t (or can’t) believe that contentedness is a practical and acceptable outcome. But in my view, their disbelief is disingenuous. I mean, how the F is anyone going to honor the central marital vow of monogamy if they can’t find contentment in the relationship?

Moreover, if a person’s head and heart aren’t right, they always fail to identify opportunities for blessing, and they foolishly destroy whatever they have that’s good. I have even seen some couples get to the point where they start experiencing the blessings of marriage, and then they realize that that is the peak, or the ‘goal’, and that that is as good as it gets, or that that is all that God promises in marriage. Then they’re disappointed because they were expecting something different, so then they angrily tear the relationship apart trying to find the thing that they were after.

Even after they destroy the relationship, they never realize that the thing they were after was a lie – a soul promise from Satan, which was designed to destroy all their contentment within marriage, and thereby destroy their marriage. It’s really sad…

Anyway, I was determined to choose a woman who had the same mindset as I did, namely a woman who was determined to get to the contentment of the Fourth Stage, and who wasn’t actively screwing up her chances of making that happen.

I knew I was right about the eternal value of the Fourth Stage, and I had a fairly good idea about how the Second and Third Stage worked as well. But after having lived through these experiences, and then later taking the Red Pill, I see that I was extremely naïve about how a relationship initially forms and progresses through the First Stage.

Things I Learned About Myself

I had a two-year-long running talk with my Pastor about my conglomerate experience in searching for a wife. Overall, he was very angry with me, which only increased my confusion and frustration over the matter, mainly because my conscience was clear, and I didn’t see that I had done anything wrong. Over time, he pointed out the following problems I had, and the ‘mistakes’ I was making.

  1. I had a root of bitterness stemming from my own parent’s divorce, which happened when I was 22, just 3-4 years earlier. This experience had poisoned my mind about how a relationship should develop naturally.
  2. I made a resolution to keep my virginity until marriage, and to not make the same mistakes as my parents – namely, winding up divorced and broken. (Although at that time, I did not fully understand exactly what mistakes my parents had made that made their divorce inevitable. Parents are ruthlessly stubborn in refusing to discuss their problems and mistakes with their children.) Looking back, I now know this was a mistake of overreaction and spiritual rebellion. The reasons for this are explained in a previous post, The Trouble with Resolutions, Inner Vows and Commitments (January 14, 2010)
  3. He told me that, by refusing to engage in sexual relations, I was clinging to the ‘Law’, and refusing to appropriate God’s grace over the matter. (This point blew my mind for years afterward!)
  4. I was provoking those women’s sexual desires, ‘setting them off’ (as in, like detonating a bomb), as he put it. When he told me this, the Blue Pilled me was like, ‘WTF?’ because I only got as far as kissing four of those women, and I never even touched 95% of them! But now, after taking the Red Pill, I know that women’s desire is mostly a psychological based fantasy. So under that consideration, I probably ‘set off’ a lot more women than I ever dated, and I’m still not sure whether I should feel guilty about that or not. I mean, it seems obvious to me now, but since I was a virgin at that time, and had zero practical experience with female sexuality, how would I have known any better?
  5. I had a problem with anger because none of the women I dated showed any degree of moral agency, nor were they mature enough to respond in the way I expected them to. I reasoned, quite justifiably, that if they weren’t mature enough to control their sexual urges and treat a man (like me) with respect, then they weren’t mature enough for marriage either. I still believe this is true, but highly impractical for navigating my life experiences described earlier.

My pastor concluded that I needed to be married first, before I could experience the passion necessary to ‘drive me to faith’, as he put it.

Later in life, I realized that when he said ‘married’, that is pastor-talk for ‘have sex’. But it would have been unethical for him to explicitly advise sex outside of marriage. Looking back, I think some of my confusion could have been averted if he had been more explicit in saying what he really meant.

But at the time, I didn’t ‘get it’. I felt like he was pressuring me to have sex, but wasn’t being forthright about saying so. I was confused as h*ll, and I had a lot of questions with no answers.

  • (Other than the fact that ‘I want to’), why should I have sex outside of marriage when I know it’s risky and wrong?
  • Why do I need a passionate marriage (sexual relationship) to have faith?
  • Why does it seem like I am the only Christian who even cares about sexual purity?
  • Why do I keep getting rejected by ‘Christian’ women for this reason?
  • How I was ever going to find a worthy wife from among all these emotionally immature and sexually profligate women?

I did not understand any of his points until after I became sexually active, years later. Apparently, I was taking everything way too seriously.

Conclusions

After a few more years of frustration and rejection, I finally decided that I’ve got to humble myself and play this game, if I ever expected to (1) find sexual expression, (2) get answers to the questions of my heart, and (3) have a wife and family. So I dated several women simultaneously, and I also had sexual relations with them as well. I was ‘spinning plates’ as it is now called in the Manosphere.

This change of heart was actually a very difficult transition for me to make. I felt very guilty and afraid of various consequences for having illicit sex. I knew I was giving in to temptation, and I wasn’t living by my own moral standards. But on the other hand, I just couldn’t handle any more rejection or celibacy. I also felt regretful about my long period of abstinence, like I had already missed too many opportunities, and this ‘empathy for sin’ made me question my standing with God. I reassured myself by thinking that I deserved a little indulgence of grace, after what I had suffered through for the last 18 years. (To this day, I am still not sure whether that was true, or whether it was simply a rationalization to justify my breakdown.)

But I was honest with them. I told them I was seeing other women, and I told them I was marriage minded, and I truly was. I told them I would choose one woman at some point in the future and get married to her. They didn’t like the fact that I was seeing other women, but they played along.

Some of them accused me of ‘cheating’ and fornication. In response, I spoke women’s native language by employing a rationalization hamster. I said,

“Having premarital sex with only one woman is fornication, and having premarital sex with many women is also fornication. You are also fornicating with me, so what is your complaint? If you want to fornicate, then you need to accept the fact that fornication is a sin, and sin has these kinds of problems.”

Of course, they didn’t want to stop fornicating, and they certainly didn’t want to cede me to their competition, so they accepted the situation. The ‘better ones’ (i.e. more mature) never mentioned it, much less argued with me about it.

To my utter astonishment, I also attracted a few marriage minded women who wanted to abstain from sex until marriage. Remembering my own experiences with that, I respected their intentions and didn’t try to advance on them. But I thought, ‘Where were you ten years ago when I was suffering like h*ll? Where were you even one year ago, when I was still a virgin waiting for a wife?’ This sudden change precipitated a lot of anger in my relationship with God, which took me a while to recover from. Also, I wasn’t so interested in them, since I had other women offering sex on demand.

It’s amazing how things change as you age and get more experience. Once I started having sex, the quality and quantity of women that made themselves available to me totally changed for the better.

After about 15 months of this, I had several decent women to choose from, and no less than five that I considered worthy of my consideration for a marriage proposal. True to my original intentions, I chose one and got married. That is a story for another post.

The older, Red Pilled me knows that once you have sex with a woman, her level of investment will change, but only for a select few. Most of them will still exhibit flakiness and branch swinging.

I learned a few other important lessons about women in general, and these are covered in another post, Things I Learned About Women In College (April 4, 2018).

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Don’t Admit Her Argument

This post examines how men inadvertently assume a subservient role whenever they defend themselves against a woman’s criticism, and how men should dismiss such arguments out of hand.

Readership: Men in LTR’s

The Natural Hierarchy within Successful Relationships

Every relationship has a structure of hierarchy.

One has expertise and authority, while the other adheres to structure and routine.

One is the mentor, and the other is the disciple.

One is the hero, and the other is the admirer.

One inspires, and the other is inspired.

Even in a friendship between peers, there is always one person who is esteemed to have more talents or gifts in one area over the other.

One is disciplined and goal oriented, the other is more creative and fun loving.

One is intelligent, the other is enthusiastic.

One is patient and peaceful, the other is the garrulous life of the party.

One is strong, the other is beautiful.

Lewis and Clark, Mason and Dixon, Batman and Robin, Zorro and Tonto, Abbot and Costello, Laurel and Hardy…

Then there are men like Donald Trump, and Richard Branson. Undoubtedly they have a legion of other men who help them manage their finances, contracts, businesses, etc. …and they have women galore!

Moreover, the guy on top is always the man with a stronger, better Frame.

Hierarchy in a Male-Female Relationship

While men and women both have their own unique set of natural skills and abilities which they bring into a relationship, men have the rightful place of leadership. Men are naturally more adept at the risk-taking that is involved with maintaining structure and order, making progress, and achieving success.

When women are nitpicky and overtly critical of a man’s behavior, it seems natural and right for the man to defend himself against her accusations.

He might entertain her argument because he is bothered by her logical errors and he thinks he needs to ‘set her straight’, or maybe he has the nerdy idea that he can ‘win’ the argument through a review of the facts and an exercise of reason.

But in fact, if a man responds in this way, he is committing a major faux pas.

A man who responds to a woman’s argument with a counter argument is dealing with her as he would another man. But… she is not a man! (Men have the decent respect not to dump on other men.)

Instead, the man should reject all her complaints and criticism out of hand.

Do NOT try to point out how her assessment of you is inaccurate.

Do NOT attempt to defend your actions and viewpoints.

Do NOT entertain her accusations as even the least bit legitimate.

Because in doing so, his actions and behavior become the subject to be examined, reviewed and criticized. This path leads to an unfavorable conflict structure in which the woman is making more demands than the man.

When a man defends himself against a woman’s criticism, it shows that he is assuming the subservient role. It reveals that he is willing to admit the possibility of being subject to her claim of him being inferior or inadequate.

If the man takes her assessment seriously, acquiesces to her judgment, and responds to her charges, then the man is accepting what she presumes to be his place as the gelastic, sidekick buffoon, and by doing so, he is unwittingly admitting dishonor and defeat.

He loses because the premises of the argument are proscribed according to her frame. Thus, by engaging in her argument he unwittingly submits to her frame. Thus, any time a man enters into an argument that defers to her demands, it automatically leads to his defeat.

Instead, the man should be calling the shots and making the demands. Several of my past posts have discussed this dynamic in general, but here I will offer a few poignant examples.

Case Study 1

A recent post on Chateau Heartiste, Opposite George Game (March 17, 2018) recounts a story of a guy who wears red on St. Patrick’s Day, while everyone else is wearing green.

“A girl walks over and gives him shit about his shirt, he smiles and, rather than smugly going off on not being Irish or how he’s too autistic to celebrate ethnic holidays in post-racial American, he says “eh, green makes me look washed out” or “I’m color blind. Feel better?” Or he might self-incriminatingly reply, ’I’m a nonconformist prick.’”

“Opposite George Game — “I’m unemployed and bald and live with my parents” — can juice your bantz to incredible heights as long as you avoid even a hint of defensiveness, discomfort, or trepidation, and you don’t take yourself, or your marks, too seriously.”

Although Heartiste doesn’t point this out, the friend in this story is refusing to submit to the woman’s criticism. Instead, he dismisses her jabs as playful banter, and he produces a like response.

Case Study 2

My friend told me about an argument he had with his wife.

She was angry because she thought he did not pick up a certain item (cucumbers) from the grocery store on his way home from work.

Actually he did get the item, and he had already put it away in the refrigerator, and she had not noticed it among the other items. So then she jumped to the conclusion that he had forgotten.

When she brought it up, he told her that he bought the item, and it was in the fresher. But even so, this was not an acceptable response in her mind. She continued to give him a barrage of complaints, and brought up several instances in the past when he had forgotten certain items. And she even remembered what all those items were, and the approximate dates or social events surrounding those ‘failures’.

To men, it seems ridiculous that she would take issue with this, but some women are never happy, no matter how much they are pampered.

True, she would show herself to be a more mature, refined, and dignified person if she had just responded with “Sorry, I didn’t notice that you had already put them away. Thanks! That’s so thoughtful of you.” Men expect women to show such gratitude, and it becomes problematic when they don’t.

So how should a man deal with a contentious leech?

Here’s a clue. She is not aggravating the discord because she thought he forgot, or because she thinks he is ‘too inconsiderate’, nor is she even creating strife as a form of ego preservation. While she might say these things, and while they may or may not be true, the real reason for the escalation of her anger is because he folded to her presumptuous demands by attempting to justify himself – which is a defensive measure.

It doesn’t matter whether he forgot or not. It’s more about dealing with her in a way that would make her realize what an overbearing termagant she would be if he didn’t put his foot down.

It is the feral woman’s unspoken and consistent goal to put the man on the defensive.

Never go on the defensive! Always keep her on her toes!

I told my friend that he should never try to justify himself through an argument like that. He was still confused, so I made some suggestions.

How about telling her something like this…

  • “Don’t worry about it. We still have some AA batteries in the drawer.” (Sexually suggestive humor)
  • “Sorry, they were out.” [Then later, do a cute little ‘magic trick’ and pull the cucumber out of your hat (or stick it down your pants and walk around the house). Let her be surprised and ashamed of herself for doubting you.] (Humor)
  • “Yeah… I’ve been meaning to tell you this for a while, but I really don’t like cucumbers (or whatever) in my omelettes (etc.). I’ve been trying to drop polite hints, but you just don’t get it.” (Confusion)
  • “Well then, Princess, here are the car keys. You can go get it yourself, if it is that important to you. I trust that you won’t have another accident like you did last year.” (Scornful Negation)

Case Study 3

Lately, I have been in the process of applying for a promotion. Because of all of the bureaucracy involved in documenting all my contributions to the University over the past 4 years, I asked my wife to help me, and she was eager to do so… at first.

But after a couple weeks of phone calls and filling out paperwork, she got frustrated and impatient. She kept pressuring me to finish it up and submit the application.

One Saturday, we were working in my office until after dark. I was reviewing the stack of papers we had prepared, and I found that I still needed to include some more documentation. She already knew this, but she didn’t want to invest any further efforts towards the endeavor. When I confronted her about why she didn’t bring it to my attention, she lashed out in anger.

“Why aren’t you finished with this yet? You are taking too long! Just finish this cover page and send it in. If they want more documentation, then they will send it back and tell us they need something more!”

I responded…

“How do you know that they will recognize that something is missing? Maybe they will just say, ‘this is insufficient for a promotion’ and then reject me?”

After a quiet moment of incrimination, she responded with,

“You have already wasted too much time on this! I don’t think you take it very seriously. You don’t work hard. You would rather spend time on your blog… <sarcasm>”

Meanwhile, I coughed, expectorated, and cleared my throat very obnoxiously. She continued…

“I have to do all this work for you. Why should I help you with this? You need to SHOW ME that you are going to work harder!

During her rant, I sat quietly at my desk, hands folded and listening to her. I know she feels uneasy about the longitudinal security and the financial lucrativeness of my career, because we discussed this before. But this time, I clearly got the impression that she imagined herself to be my personal manager, and I didn’t like it one bit. After she finished, I stood up and said,

“Look, I don’t need to PROVE to you my diligence and sincerity towards advancing my OWN career!”

“Furthermore, I don’t think it’s OPEN to your criticism!”

After that, I closed down my workstation and prepared my bags to leave. She followed on my cue, without a word.

She was quiet for the rest of the evening, and she even prepared one of my favorite dishes (beef stew) for dinner.

The next day, she found another item that should be included in my application, and told me about it.

Conclusions

In the face of a female provocation, low SMV men with a weak Frame usually think they need to ‘defend their position’, but doing so only shows their ready willingness to ‘answer to the boss’.

In the first Case Study, the friend owns his individuality with confidence, and refuses to go on the defensive. The magic of this is not in giving her a witty response as most men like to believe, but in his forthright, genuine, and indomitable attitude, even going so far as to mockingly identify as a basement browsing loser! Furthermore, the absurdity and incongruity of this response is in tune with the playful, sardonic banter offered by the woman – another hit.

In the second Case Study, it was hard to give my friend a ‘pat answer’, because all women have a different personality and disposition. Their relationship history is also a significant factor.

But generally speaking, humor is usually the best response for most women, and this tends to loosen up the tension.

However, certain women are not easily ‘entertained’. Confusion or negs might be better approach for those types of women. If she wants to be aggressive and confrontational, then you kind of have to be the same, but it is extremely important to remain totally calm in the process and DO NOT make her the target of your anger! Instead, wax her with your self-absorbed philosophy, and give her the acute impression that no satisfaction can be gained from challenging you. (I admit, this is painful and frustrating to endure, especially given the chance that it might take a long time before her gratitude and general happiness ‘wakes up’, if ever.)

In the third Case Study, it was clear to both me and my wife that I cared more about my career than she did, even though she claimed the opposite. Once this was established, if I tried to ‘reclaim my honor’ by naming all the things I did to complete the application, in order to prove her claims to be inaccurate, then I would have failed to maintain Frame. But by heatedly rejecting her opinion of me as being lazy (which was actually a case of psychological projection), I maintained my own Frame, and won her respect and deference in the process.

In summary, maintain your own Frame, and DO NOT EVER submit to hers!

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Fake Knights and Phony Princesses

Chivalry has been romanticized and idealized so much that it has lost its true value. The misuse of Chivalry by men, and the abuse of Chivalry by women, are jointly contributing to the downfall of the SMP, and ultimately western society.

Targeted Readership: All

This post is the third in a series of articles discussing ethical systems, ethical considerations and their applications. This essay is comprised of six parts.

  1. The Application of Cultural Ethics within the Sexual Market Place
  2. Female Worthiness of Chivalry
  3. The Motivations of Modern Chivalry
  4. Case Study: A Black Man Hits A White Girl!
  5. The Appropriateness of Chivalry
  6. Conclusions

Note 1: For more definitions and descriptions of the three ethical systems, (1) Innocence/Righteousness vs. Guilt (RvG), (2) Honor vs. Shame (HvS), and (3) Power vs. Fear (PvF), please read the first installment of this series, Foundations of Cultural Ethics and Chivalry (February 18, 2018).

Note 2: The concept of Honour, as it is understood in the RvG system, pertains to an internal sense of honour, whereas, in the HvS system, honor refers to an external appearance that invites social affirmation. To differentiate between the two ethical concepts, the British spelling of honour is adopted for the former, and the American, honor, for the latter.

1. The Application of Cultural Ethics within the Sexual Market Place

Today’s women have a complex set of issues to deal with, and this is combined with their apparent lack of willingness to do emotional work, invest relationally, and delay gratification.

Because the typical woman cannot find a man who can fulfill all her needs simultaneously (which is quite a ridiculous expectation), she feels no obligation to treat any particular man with distinction, except perhaps a man who can instill the venerated Tingles, and even then, only while the predaciousness lasts.

As a result, it is quite common to see approximately 80% of women take the ‘easy way out’ by holding a considerable number of men at her rotating disposal, with each man fulfilling one or more aspects of her social, emotional, material, relational, and sexual needs.

Combine this with a deluge of Feminist mantras over the last four decades, teaching them that men are subhuman, toxic, unnecessary, and bothersome, and this has resulted in the total attrition of the Honeycraft skill among women as a whole.

Furthermore, they don’t even recognize the need to respect or honor men, and especially those ‘nice’, committed, virtuous men, who offer continual validation, support and investment to women, get stepped on with stiletto heels, and swept under the rug. Now, we have the situation where most men (about 80%) can find very little substance or benefits from their associations with women.

HerZeroHero

This witty meme, which blitzed through social media on International Women’s Day (March 8, 2018), illustrates the subtle one-sided view that women have towards modern Chivalry.

Women, of course, will emphasize that the point of the axiom is that women supply a noble purpose to men’s acts of valor, and this sparks women’s ardor because it attributes honor to women.

But the flip side implies that, without women, the brave, altruistic sacrifices of men have no meritable purpose, which is a suggestion that undermines men’s inherent need for honor, respect and dignity.

But that is the false, zero-sum message of Feminism – that women only receive honor at the expense of men’s honour. (When my wife showed me this meme with glee, I responded with raised eyebrows and an amused, but disinterested, ‘hmm…’.)

In a previous post, it was argued that Chivalry is a masculine construct. But in this post, I will show that it is not only a male construct, but also requires the proper response and participation of willing women.

Chivalry involves men acting like ‘knights in shining armor’, and this naturally involves a noble purpose, such as ‘rescuing the fair damsel’, or the like. But also, chivalry requires women to be ‘virtuous princesses’ in turn… and not just through a psychological identification to the mythical archetype, but truly virtuous ladies in waiting.

Because the social image of the ‘princess’ trope carries virtue and honor, women thus have personal agency to continue, and enhance the code of Chivalry. As such, Chivalry has become a feminine construct, but we will see that this is false as well.

Coming back to reality, we have to ask, are those 80% of females really worthy of true Chivalry?

2. Female Worthiness of Chivalry

‘Liberated’ females desire to keep Chivalry intact for the sake of the benefits that Blue Pilled white knights can bring, but at the same time, they want the option of dispensing with it when it comes to the SMP.

She expects chivalry de rigueur, in order to garner public honor, attention, affirmation and popularity within her peer group, but will readily and thoughtlessly dispense with her role of being dignified when it comes to returning the female version of Chivalry – offering respect, and various other favors to men.

She will smile and preen when she is with her man in public, but when she is alone at home with her man, she will fight, argue, shit test, and throw a tantrum whenever she doesn’t get her way. Then, when she is NOT with her man, she is flirting with beta orbiters and seeking sexual validation.

This two-facedness is not the behavior of a princess who is deserving of Chivalry.

Other Manospherians have pointed out that an ideal man, in women’s eyes, is an alpha with beta qualities. That is to say, they want a solid, masculine man who offers comfort and leisure. Among other complicating factors, it is a contradiction that most women find very frustrating. As a result, it is not uncommon to find women who distribute their time between both types of men, sometimes within open relationships.

She may want a man to carry her bags, provide a credit-card/ATM service, and maintain the security and integrity of a home. Yet, when it comes down to the actual selection of a sexual partner, most liberated women toss these qualities aside for the immediate thrills of the tingle.

This self-centered, two-timing behavior is also not becoming of a princess.

I will postulate that if a woman expects Chivalry from men, then she must necessarily fit the feminine construct of Chivalry as well. Because, you know, women want everything to be ‘fair’. But of course, the application of the ‘fair’ principle is also subject to capriciousness.

idiot knights-armour

But even though men know women think this way, they still cling to the ‘nice guy’ expression of Chivalry. Why?

3. The Motivations of Modern Chivalry

Western men, especially Christian men, are ready and willing to be chivalrous, as evidenced by the sheer numbers of betaboys and white knights.

A lot of their motivation is based on what they learned from their Blue Pill social conditioning within the Matrix, and this effect has been well covered in the Manosphere. But on a larger scale, the Western edition of the Matrix is all dependent on the RvG ethics system. It is implied that as long as a guy can retain a virtuous identity, he can self-righteously profess to be one of the ‘good guys’.

Thus, many men have the Blue Pill notion that acting Chivalrous is (partly) what determines their virtue. Men continue to display ‘chivalrous’ behavior because they have compromised the tenets of true Chivalry in order to avail of an easy way to virtue signal their presupposed righteousness and valor.

But true virtue is in fact, hard won, and seldom noticed by culture, much less honored nor rewarded. So in fact, what we are seeing today is a lot of fake virtue posturing, dressed up as ‘Chivalry’.

Since they have only been exposed to a comfortable, safe, secure RvG system, they are ignorant of other ethical systems, and are thus at a disadvantage when faced with another. So, from a certain perspective, western men, not women, have been spoiled by generations of chivalry. For example, Blue Pilled White Knights think that doing something as easy and simple as holding the door for a woman makes a man almost as glorified in righteousness as Christ.

But in the Red Pill reality, we know this ‘nice guy’ attitude automatically disqualifies his SMV, and ejects him from the SMP. So the problem is not just with Feminism, or the lack of a RP education, it’s a weakness of the whole RvG system! The following case study is offered as an illustration of what I mean.

4. Case Study: A Black Man Hits A White Girl!

An enlightening story, told by Dalrock in his post, What can’t continue, won’t. (February 14, 2018), has recently caused a stir in the Manosphere. Dark Brightness offered a commentary on this story in Marriage and Puppies. (February 15, 2018).

In this story, a young woman at a party is foolishly challenging several men to strike her. It is implied that she issues this challenge as a display of her ‘power’ over men’s expression of their masculine nature, which is a Feminist claim.

“…after being refused by several white men, a moxie filled feminist was finally obliged by a black man who proceeded to (with minimal effort) knock her across the room. As expected, the complaint from the women present went immediately from taunting “you are too chicken to fight a girl”, to outrage, “you hit a girl”!”

Here in this case, the black man was acting out of his sense of personal honor and defending the foolish reproach to his masculine power. The white guys did not respond in such a way because of ‘Chivalry’. But again, this is not true Chivalry. It’s just that these guys think and live according to the Righteousness vs. Guilt (RvG) ethic.

Another thing to consider is that these men are dealing with a proud, foolish woman who does not deserve Chivalry in the first place. I say this because any woman who intentionally brings shame on innocent men without a provocation, is inherently a bad woman who should be rejected and avoided.

It is interesting to note here, that within the RvG system, the moxied feminista has the white men backed into a corner, but only because she is not faithful to the RvG tenets. Instead, she adopts a rather deceitful tactic by employing elements of the PvF ethics system, namely, the imminent threat of physical force, or in this case, the lack thereof, implying weakness and submission on the part of the men. In addition, her trick is doubly effective because it also plays into the HvS system, i.e. she shames the men when she rolls them with embarrassment.

The ‘weakness’ of the men is manifested and interpreted in situ as confusion and a shaky confidence. This is a false appearance, but it appears evident only because confidence and strength of mind are primarily expressions of virtue within the RvG system. This is the frame of mind held by the white men, so they are thereby defamed within their own frame of reference.

But if we reframe this interaction from the vixen’s point of view, who is playing by a different set of ethics (namely PvF), the only real ‘weakness’ of these young men is that they are hung up on the RvG system, and the only way they can cling to their sense of Righteousness is by eating the insult and NOT striking back. By refraining from action, the white guys can cling to their self-imposed identity of ‘righteous virtue’, and protect their associated ego investment in what they believe is ‘Chivalry’.

The frame of the black man in the story, on the other hand, was more attuned to either (or both) the Honor vs. Shame, or the Power vs. Fear ethics systems, and not so much into Righteousness as a personal ethic. (Much of Africa, and thus, black lineage in general, is submerged in a matriarchal PvF system.)

As a result, the woman’s disrespectful words are taken seriously as a shame tactic, and also a challenge to his masculine power. Within these two systems, the ‘correct’ response on the part of the black man, is to reinstate one’s honor by ‘destroying’ the one who brought him shame, and to defeat the one who challenged his power through an exercise of that power. Hence, the return blow.

It could be argued that the black guy was relatively more chivalrous than the white dudes, simply because he remained true to both his own ethical system, and the one presented to him by the woman. He also displayed a fair bit of bravery in hitting this woman, knowing that he was surrounded by white guys, and that she may very well have filed a police report of battery in response.

At the very least, she will walk away with a real life confirmation of the Feminist mantra that ‘masculinity is toxic’. What she doesn’t understand is that it’s only toxic when she is foolish enough to mock displays of Chivalry, betray the generosity of her own culture’s ethical system and insult it.

Now if those white guys had held true to their own concept of Chivalry, a brawl with the black man should have ensued after he struck the woman. But apparently, that is not part of the story.

The question is, why did those white guys fail to defend the woman after she got decked? Is it because…

  1. They were effete wimps, who merely wanted to appear virtuous, and were not truly Chivalrous.
  2. They knew the woman deserved it, but they wisely let the black guy do the dirty work.
  3. After she shamed them, they presumed that she was not worth the effort. So they let things stand.
  4. They were too afraid of the black guy.
  5. They were too drunk, high, etc.
  6. All of the above?

Furthermore, what would have been the best response on the part of the white guys?

I would say there is no ‘best response’ option for the white guys, because they were operating within a completely different ethical system. However, the woman and the black man interacted within the same ethical system, and were thereby able to establish what we might call a ‘significantly meaningful, non-verbal communication’.

5. The Appropriateness of Chivalry

The previous story should make it obvious that true chivalry should be denoted by brave valor from men, and that it also requires righteous gestures from females as well. Thus, it is easy to understand how women are eager to rely on, and even demand, chivalry from men, but they are too quick to defraud society out of their own contributions towards chivalry.

Chivalry isn't Dead

Going back to the true foundations of Chivalry, we can conclude that only the highest quality of women are worthy of chivalry. We’re talking nubile virgins of the royal class. No other (single) women are worthy.

One of the most noteworthy acts of faith and valor that a female can take is in retaining her virginity until marriage. But modern princesses have become spoiled brats, so too many women find this ‘requirement’ heavy and legalistic. They have been deceived.

The decay has set in because western culture has a perspicacious weakness, in that it’s people can easily believe that all of society can be royal. They love to believe the Disney tales and think that they can live that life. It’s part of the American Dream. They even believe that it is virtuous to cherish such hopes as their aspirations in life. Men also have fantasies about ‘winning the love of a princess’, and perhaps this also bolsters their false notions of righteous Chivalry.

prince charming insatiable whore

Dalrock pointed out (in the previously cited post) how feminism depends wholly on chivalry for it’s strength. Although true, this is somewhat of a misstatement. To be more exact, this aspect of feminism depends on accessing the strengths of an ethical system (i.e. PvF) in which women have a natural intuition, and which the vast majority of men in anglo culture (RvG) are totally ignorant of, and find difficult to learn.

More to the point, women who behave as that young woman did in Dalrock’s story, are succumbing to spiritual foolishness, and are insulting God’s created order of male female relations. Scripture tells us all about such women and their male cohorts, including their nature, their characteristics, and their end.

20 For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even His eternal power and Godhead, so that they are without excuse, 21 because, although they knew God, they did not glorify Him as God, nor were thankful, but became futile in their thoughts, and their foolish hearts were darkened. 22 Professing to be wise, they became fools, 23 and changed the glory of the incorruptible God into an image made like corruptible man…”

24 Therefore God also gave them up to uncleanness, in the lusts of their hearts, to dishonor their bodies among themselves, 25 who exchanged the truth of God for the lie, and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever. Amen.”

26 For this reason God gave them up to vile passions. For even their women exchanged the natural use for what is against nature. 27 Likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust for one another, men with men committing what is shameful, and receiving in themselves the penalty of their error which was due.”

28 And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a debased mind, to do those things which are not fitting; 29 being filled with all unrighteousness, sexual immorality, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, evil-mindedness; they are whisperers, 30 backbiters, haters of God, violent, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents, 31 undiscerning, untrustworthy, unloving, unforgiving, unmerciful; 32 who, knowing the righteous judgment of God, that those who practice such things are deserving of death, not only do the same but also approve of those who practice them.” ~ Romans 1:18-32

We know all these qualities are present in 4th Wave Intersectional Feminism, the abortion industrial complex, and the associated debasement of marriage that is widely present in society.

It all makes perfect sense now!

6. Conclusions

  • Western, Christian men are readily willing to be chivalrous, as evidenced by the sheer numbers of ‘nice guys’, betaboys, and white knights.
  • Men have the notion that acting Chivalrous is what determines their virtue. But true virtue is in fact, hard won, and seldom noticed by culture, much less honored nor rewarded.
  • Men continue to display chivalrous behavior because they have compromised the tenets of true Chivalry in order to avail of an easy way to virtue signal their presupposed righteousness and valor.
  • Since western men have only been exposed to a comfortable, safe, secure Righteousness vs. Guilt system of ethics, they are ignorant of other systems, and are thus at a disadvantage.
  • Feminism depends on the benefits and weaknesses inherent in the RvG system, while at the same time, betraying the RvG system by buying into the Honor vs. Shame, and the Power vs. Fear systems.
  • Only a fully righteous woman is worthy of chivalry.
  • Western women abandon all claim to any purported innocence or righteousness within the RvG system whenever they accept feminist ideologies, pursue self-ambition, indulge themselves in the benefits of hypergamy, such as the Tingles, and/or riding the carousel. As a result, they are not necessarily entitled to any displays or benefits of chivalry, because they have chosen to play by a different set of ethical rules.
  • Until chivalrous men realize that feminist women are not playing by the same ethical rules, they will always be duped by the power play.

Related

Other posts in this series of cultural ethics:

Other articles related to Chivalry, and idiosyncrasies of the current SMP which are similar to those described above:

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The Challenge of Demanding Excellence

This post considers several vectors of truth at a man’s disposal that could be used as vehicles towards instructing and nurturing his significant other in the ways of righteous living.

Targeted Readership: All

Solid science, logical analysis, personal testimony, the Red Pill, and Biblical truth have been allies in the fight against falsehood and deception. But the spiritual forces of darkness (i.e. feminism) always stand in opposition to these pillars of truth.

This post examines each of these vectors of truth, and considers the challenges involved with each one.

The Problem

My wife has a moderate amount of feminist value conditioning, which I have generally accepted as being rather normal and common for women these days. As such, I frequently have to face some of her subconscious false value systems, and fundamental errors of attribution, as well as a good deal of faulty logic (a common characteristic of the female sex, according to men’s general opinion).

I know I have to reeducate her with some beliefs that are more conducive to marital happiness and spiritual obedience. I’ve often done this through a technique described in a previous guest post by J.T. Anderson, called, Moulding an Excellent Wife (March 5, 2018). Before J.T. wrote this up, I was aware of the power of psychological association, and operant conditioning, and I utilized these concepts in a continual effort to cleanse my wife from impertinent attitudes, belligerent, pernicious dispositions, general presumptuousness, and ingratitude (which unfortunately have become par for the course in 21st century men’s relational dynamics with women). J. T.’s article has added some elements of structure and refinement to this approach, which has further challenged me to be more conscientiously diligent about enacting this process.

But this is not as simple as it might seem. People have a complex nature, and there are many areas of life in which truth needs to be rectified.

Science and Logic

In college, I took some introductory classes in philosophy, psychology, sociology, political science, etc. I was bored out of my wits by most of these topics, but extremely fascinated with some small pockets, such as logic, learning, pathology, genealogy… As I’ve grown older, I’ve discovered more of the usefulness of these topics, as they pertain to my personal life, and this has renewed some independent study in certain areas.

Science and logic have a premium value among men, but it loses its luster with females. So I don’t usually address these topics in conversation with my wife. However, I do spend a good deal of time and energy in studying the various principles and research findings of sociology and psychology, and experimenting with applying those principles in my marriage. Many of my posts cover lessons in sociology and psychology that I’ve learned in life, and these posts contain the details of my experiences. A few include the following.

Scriptural Truths

Whenever I present my wife with scripture, or Bible based teachings, it comes across as trite and mundane. I know this is because Christian doctrine is revered to the point of seeming predictable. There is an ambivalence that has grown out of an overexposure to the ideas, combined with a lack of real inspiration, and the ‘feelz good’ assurance of ‘Churchian’ culture. I often have to come at this from a ‘Devil’s Advocate’ perspective, before I can illustrate the value of the Truths contained in the Bible. I also have to describe the choices, spell out the consequences, and get her to think more deeply about what is going on.

J.T. Anderson has stated that, because of its ineffectiveness, he has given up on having regular devotionals within his home. I can understand his sentiments, however, I still feel there needs to be a regular ‘talk time’ for a couple, in which issues can be raised and discussed in a casual manner. It is also helpful to have a topic ready to open the discussion. If devotionals cannot be used to this end, then a man might try to find other types of ‘friendly’ conversation openers which have a poignant relevancy.

One approach I’ve found helpful to this end is in picking out articles which I feel tend to cut to the heart of the issues in recent contention. I browse a lot of articles online, and I often find one that I feel is ‘from God’. I just print it out, or email the link to my wife, and ask her to read it. She has gotten into the habit of doing the same for me. After we both read the articles, we discuss the issues, and I make a point of delineating many of what I feel are practical applications of the truths therein.

One very helpful tool in particular has been Oswald Chambers devotional, My Utmost For His Highest, which has been a trusted devotional for about a hundred years now.

Red Pill Truths

Whenever I present my wife with Red Pill literature, taken mostly from Manosphere blogs, and which typically describe concepts like hypergamy, the feminine imperative, the 80/20 rule, etc., her typical response is something to the tune of,

“Of course! Why are men so obtuse that this stuff seems so novel and mysterious to them?”

Then she goes to great effort to point out how the Red Pill perspective, although true, is degrading to women. Henceforth comes the ‘misogynous’ label, and her general annoyance of the subject. It really is rare for a woman to embrace Red Pill truth, and it is difficult to convince a woman to be accepting of it.

Personal Testimony

No matter what happens in life, I always have the opportunity to reframe it, and put my own spin on it. A lot of this rests on my own habits and characteristics.

  1. Developing my own character. More easily said than done.
  2. Developing the right attitude is crucial, but there is the added challenge of teaching those same good attitudes to my wife.
  3. Having a firm grasp of the Truth. I can’t preach truth if I don’t know it myself.
  4. Speaking with confidence and authenticity. This carries a lot of import with a woman.
  5. Living in the moment. I have to stay tuned into reality, and make each moment count.
  6. I need to have a game strategy in mind, and keep my Game tight.
  7. I have to discern what is truly my own sh!t, and what is her own projection of me.
  8. I have to own my responsibility to offer direction and take charge of any situation, even when she resists my attempts.
  9. I have to be open and willing to share my own experiences with her, and make it relevant to the case at hand. (Adding a little dramatic flair to my story always sets her tingles aglow.)
  10. I have to watch what I say. Especially, I should not say anything that might create more difficulties in either my duties or her expectations.

In summary, I believe my own testimony is the one differentiating factor that makes all the other vectors of truth relevant to her. As J.T. pointed out in the aforementioned piece, this is the one tool that brings the truth to life.

Social Truths

Another thing about Feminism that appeals strongly to women is the idea of a ‘female friendly’ community. I suppose this appeals to them at least as much as an ‘all men’s space’ appeals to men. Feminism and ‘mens spaces’ are both known for spouting angst and bitterness, but we cannot underestimate or discount the positive influence that social interaction brings to people, and this is even more important for a married couple.

An article from Gallup Polls, by James Harter and Raksha Arora, Social Time Crucial to Daily Emotional Well-Being in U.S. (June 5, 2008), describes the positive effects that social interaction has on a persons happiness and sense of well-being.

“The days of the year when the majority of Americans experience enjoyment/happiness also tend to be days that they report spending more time with friends and family. Certainly, the additional time spent socializing accounts for a large part of the weekend effect, as the average amount of time Americans are spending socializing rises from about six hours on weekdays to about eight hours on weekends and public holidays. Americans also express the most enjoyment/happiness during holidays and special events, including Easter Sunday (when 65% of Americans expressed enjoyment/happiness), New Year’s Day, and Super Bowl Sunday.”

In the past, regular church attendance filled this need for fellowship. But these days, complementary Churchianity has tainted both the instruction and the social interaction, such that church introduces and enforces concepts which actually work against the marital relationship. One approach may be to go ‘church shopping’ in order to acquire teaching and fellowship that is less toxic. If one cannot find an appropriate church to make up for this shortcoming, the fundamental elements of what church used to offer need to be proactively included within the daily marriage life.

I believe the primary purposes of church include: (1) Biblical teaching and exhortation, (2) Christian fellowship and accountability, (3) Opportunities to experience the glory of God, and (4) Worshipping the Lord in Spirit and in Truth.

Along this loose definition of church, I believe that a healthy, Christian marriage can (and should) be an embodiment, or at least an extension of church. So I try to incorporate these four elements into my relationship with my wife, and I have found that doing so does bring slow improvement over time.

Gunner Q has said (and I paraphrase) that certain blogs are forms of the modern Christian church. I agree with this, in so far as it meets the four conditions described above.

“Again I say to you that if two of you agree on earth concerning anything that they ask, it will be done for them by My Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered together in My name, I am there in the midst of them.” ~ Matthew 18:19-20

Whipped Cream on the Lie

Whenever I ponder how to address issues of contention and falsehood within my marriage, what strikes me is that she seems to have the idea, woven throughout her viewpoint, that Feminist inspired ideals are the social gospel designed to liberate humanity from the hardcore, dog-eat-dog facts of the SMP, which are implied to be corrupted by men, and ‘patriarchy’.

In other words, this social ‘gospel’ of Feminism strives to create a ‘better world’ (for solipsistic women).

Right there, because of this claim, I know that it’s a false ‘gospel’, because this world has always been, and still is, corrupted by the Fall, and it is not going to be redeemed short of the Second Coming.

Moreover, the false teachings of Feminism have a natural appeal to the feminine imperative. The philosophies carry a semblance of being true, and this is what establishes it as a de facto cult religion. Women (and many Blue Pilled men as well) get kicks out of the Feminist belief system, largely because their lives seem to correlate with the Feminist narratives. If Feminist viewpoints are interpreted as a form of Psychological Projection, then we can learn a lot about women’s general approach to the SMP.

Whenever I point out certain aspects of hypocrisy in the mismatch between Feminism and ‘equality’ (which is actually equalism, if not outright female dominance), then I get a lot of anger and odd hominids out of her, which is more evidence proving the toxicity of Feminism’s ideologies.

Feminism has really contrived a very attracting and convincing argument in the minds of women. What will it take to wake them up?

Conclusions

  • Demanding excellence from a partner is a complicated, multifaceted endeavor.
  • Feminist values have become standard fare in today’s post modern society, which makes the battle for truth and righteousness more bloody and difficult.
  • Women find it easy to fall prey to Feminism’s lies and deceptive narration.
  • The traditional ‘Churchian’ church cannot be relied on towards improving one’s marital relationship. In order to make up for this shortcoming, the fundamental elements of what church used to offer need to be proactively included within the daily marriage life.
  • It is not enough to point out women’s errors in logic and value judgments. It is not enough to try to condition them out of bad habits and attitudes. They need to be shown a better way to live.
  • Persevering with the teaching and exhortation of truths offered by scripture, science, logic, personal testimony, and the Red Pill, while remaining calm and diligent, all serve to help my wife relax and become open to better ideas – over time.
  • The man’s testimony (e.g. his presence, character, frame, game, confidence, authenticity, experience, and background story) is the single most powerful weapon against deterioration in the arsenal.

Related

 

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Dalrock’s Frame

Readership: All

I’ve probably read hundreds of Dalrock’s posts, and I’ve learned something about Frame from reading Dalrock.

His general approach to blogging is like this. He finds some small incongruity within society or the church, and he picks it apart to discover the nature of it. In doing so, he shows that the incongruency is not small at all, but betrays a much larger flaw in the system.

Dalrock’s appeal lies in the fact that other people, Christians included, tend to be blissfully unaware of these incongruencies because they cling to a semblance of hope. Their hope is not the hope in God to be liberated from the confines of sin, but a vain hope in the goodness of humanity, that ones efforts in the mind and body, and the collective efforts of humans, can eventually make things right, that this world will somehow be redemptively set straight.

But it never will. It will always get worse, until the day Christ returns.

Human beings have this propensity to follow a false narrative of hope, and we discipline our thoughts, words, and actions to conform to this narrative of hope.

But when a person first comes to Christ, he realizes that there is no hope at all, that Christ is the only hope, and this is a hope that is not of this world. This is a hope that can only be grasped by forsaking all other false hopes.

Dalrock is aware of this phenomenon, so he has no qualms about picking away at the threads that hold these false hopes together. He knows that when these false narratives are dispelled, his readers are in a better position to find the true hope in Christ.

From reading Dalrock, I found that I too, am guilty of sticking to that false narrative of hope. I see it sometimes when I read some of my older posts. It lurks just below my consciousness, and I am ever laboring to scratch through the surfaces of these false notions, and dig a little deeper to get to the Truth.

It is a real struggle to face the duplicity of hope. If we should ever experience the grace of God through our fallen state, we would rather cling to our false hope, and come to the conclusion that Christ is sin, or that ‘the Devil made me do it’.

We resort to these false excuses because the precariousness of living without hope is a strong repellent which rivets the blinders on our eyes (Dalrock labels this as ‘denial’), because deep within human nature, there is the curse of doubt. We doubt that Christ is sufficient, or even a present spiritual reality. We would rather get down to the self-centered business of enjoying our own lives, all so that we don’t need to be concerned with the issue of hope. Yet it is this same human nature that the world clings to in hope – a vain hope.

Damned we are, if we don’t get through this, and see the light!

Thank you, Dalrock, for being a vector for the true Hope in Christ.

Related

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