One thing I’ve seen across the board, not just on the Manosphere, but just about anywhere, is that people don’t understand what it means to ‘maintain Frame’. This lack of understanding includes both the definition, and the application of Frame.
True, the concept of Frame is difficult to describe in words, and not one that is easily absorbed. Reading a book, an article, or even a few blog posts are not sufficient to get a man’s Frame in tune. It takes regular study, practice… and experience!
When men fail to understand the concept of ‘holding Frame’, it is sadly ridiculous to imagine that they might achieve any degree of success or proficiency. This widespread ignorance of Frame is the grand failure of men in post-modern society.
Myself included, I’ve had to develop my own Frame the old fashioned way – through trial and error, failure after failure. But in fact, this is the process that builds character – an essential foundation of a solid Frame.
Frame is a combination of several elements, but the main gist of it consists of unashamedly sticking to what you believe to be true, and what you know is going to work for you, and refusing to be rolled by contrary opinions or control tactics of others.
To offer a comparative example, Blue Pill (BP) people will ‘go with the flow’. They’ll agree to statements for the sake of fitting in or not wanting to make waves. They invest their self-image in the opinions of others. The Red Pill (RP) Frame is the opposite of this.
To further elucidate the concept of Frame to my readers, here are 16 specific qualities of Frame, followed by 16 keys to maintaining Frame.
16 Specific Qualities of Frame
- Frame is uniquely a masculine characteristic. Females are generally unable to construct an independent, solid, respectable, and rationally impeccable frame, and so they usually resort to other methods for achieving their ends. Therefore, men who have a strong Frame have an upper hand in the game of life, especially in their dealings with women.
- Women have this annoying disposition of always seeking to control men, which arises from their inability to trust, and a general sense of insecurity. Most of our relational problems stem from this sinful, fallen nature of women. But if a man improves his Frame, it serves a beneficial double purpose: (1) It encourages the woman to trust and respect him more, and (2) it leads to him being less compliant to her demands.
- Women recognize that a man’s Frame is his main tool of ‘dominance’ over her. So a significant motive of the Feminine Imperative is to erode, discount, or even shame a man’s Frame of mind, so that she can exert more power over him, and also any situation at hand.
- ‘Maintaining Frame’ requires a man to regulate his emotional expressions well. ‘Holding Frame’ usually requires a man to ‘play it cool’, but this doesn’t mean that ‘holding Frame’ is the same as avoiding anger. Anger does have an important role in enforcing one’s Frame, but only under the right circumstances. The difference is that anger should be under control and purpose driven, rather than a spontaneous outburst of emotion.
- Frame is largely dependent on the character of a person. If your character is weak, then your Frame will be too. Just like gaining charismatic qualities of character, a solid habit of Frame takes some time and diligence to acquire.
- Maintaining Frame is an expression of your own calm assurance of your masculine power. Weaknesses in your Frame are interpreted by others (especially ferally-minded women) as a weakness of both your character and power.
- The substance of your Frame is how you wear your identity as a powerful, dignified, and influential man. As such, all your personal characteristics (e.g. principles, beliefs, expectations of others, intentions, values, sense of humor, etc.) become the building blocks of your Frame.
- Frame involves devising a strict set of boundaries, which enhance your power and control, and you hold people to account for perceived violations.
- The ability to defer gratification is an important element of Frame. By faith in the truth, Frame carries a loose sense of ‘what should be’, and continually works towards achieving that as a reality. However, the idealized concept should be balanced by a realistic attitude which doesn’t produce hopelessness, anger or disappointment when those ends are not (quickly) achieved. As such, Frame involves a degree of humility and grace.
- The specific expression of one’s beliefs is always subject to the context of a situation. A poor regard for the context can lead to others misinterpreting your Frame, and can also make you look like an @ss. For example, you might believe abortion is wrong, but it’s improper to discuss the matter after a woman close to you has miscarried.
- Frame, when properly projected, extols wisdom from within the present issue at hand, which naturally attracts the respect and admiration of others, men and women alike.
- ‘Maintaining frame’ means to not let others impose their frame (and perhaps their will) on you. You stick to your guns, so to speak. You don’t give in to the peer pressure of others who are trying to roll you or get you to fold. You do not get distracted, and you do not let your Frame get derailed by conflicting viewpoints and opinions.
- The ability to consider and navigate multiple viewpoints at once is essential part of having a strong Frame. The person who has the wider angle view than anyone else involved will typically have the dominant Frame.
- Logic is a strong point of men, while emotional intuitiveness is a relative weakness. So when a man is dealing with a woman, who has the opposite set of abilities, a man is more significantly informed, and his Frame greatly enforced, if he focuses more on the emotion communicated, rather than the logic.
- Living in the NOW, and having a sense of ‘awareness’ within one’s faculties of Frame, allows one to be continually cognizant of the motives and machinations of others, including various tactics of control, fraud, denial, and general tomfoolery. Common examples include things such as Psychological Dissociation (AKA the Hamster), Psychological Projection, Bulverising, Gaslighting, Sabojacking, and various Games, such as the “Confusion Game”. A solid Frame enables a man to recognize and deal with these tactics in an effective manner.
- The art of transforming casual instances and comments into a running joke which lightens the social mood is a master-class application of Frame.
16 Keys to Maintaining Frame
- Being mindfully aware of who and what you are, e.g. your identity, self-image, life purpose, career, reputation, etc.
- Being confident in what you believe, and nurturing a calm assurance of knowing you’re right.
- Always be in the habit of developing and honing a working narrative of truth, and sticking to it. This narrative should be constantly updated and refined, as you get more experience and learn new things. [This blog endorses the Christian Bible, logic and (most) scientific analyses as solid sources of truth.]
- Whenever someone presents a narrative that conflicts with your own, calmly point out how your opinions of the matter are at variance.
- When appropriate, twist the narratives offered by others to agree with, and perhaps even support your own interests.
- Staying calm, relaxed and cool in any circumstance. You don’t let outside influences affect your self-image or your emotional state.
- Knowing what to do, and how to respond properly and effectively to a given situation.
- Having a set of goals and priorities laid out in your mind, before you put your hand to the work.
- Viewing every social interaction as a subtle, informal, negotiation of interests.
- Being well aware of what you bring to the table, especially what the other person is interested in getting from you.
- Making it clear what you expect, what you need, or require from the other in order to continue working with that person.
- Being ready to demonstrate the lengths you are willing to go, to protect your interests and advance your purposes further.
- Being willing to compromise, negotiate, sacrifice or trade things of lesser value in order to maintain your priorities and meet your goals and purposes.
- Being prepared to walk away if the deal is not sweet enough for you, or if you cannot find an agreeable compromise.
- Roll with the blows of life. If you get knocked down, get up, devise a new plan, and do it again.
- Don’t give way to fear or shame. Learn to laugh in the face of trepidation.
It’s easy to watch another man exert Frame, then get a warm feeling of satisfaction, and think, “Yeah, that’s right!” But it’s very difficult to create within one’s self the ability to exert the same kind of Frame.
This blog, Sigma Frame, attempts to fill this void in men’s recognition and pursuit of developing Frame, by exploring the aspects and applications of these characteristics of Frame.
- The Rational Male: Frame (October 12, 2011)
- Donal Graeme: Frame Control (2013 April 18)
- Girls Chase (feat. Chase Amante): Frame Control Examples: Out-Frame Anyone (May 15, 2013)
- Return of Kings (feat. Quintus Curtius): The Battle To Maintain Frame Control (February 24, 2014)
- Return of Kings (feat. Avery Hayden): How To Develop A Rock-Solid Frame That Women Can’t Resist (July 10, 2017)
- Saving Eve: Persuasion 101 (February 20, 2018)
- Return of Kings (feat. Roosh Valizadeh): Don’t Let A Girl Assert Frame Over You (March 13, 2018)