…that erodes mens’ senses of discernment.
Theme: Overcoming Obstacles
Length: 1,600 words
Reading Time: 5.5 minutes
The Effects of Sin on Faith
Over the past century, men have slowly drifted away from the more traditional forms and expressions of masculinity and have indulged themselves in an obsession with sex. (BTW, I think the same could be said for women too, along the lines of prioritizing hypergamy, YOLO, branch swinging, Marriage 2.0, etc.)
This obsession takes one of two general forms, each having many variants of expression.
- The S1ut Predator — Tends to be higher SMV men who can actually get laid without doing very much.
- The P0rn Glutton — Tends to be lower SMV men, or higher SMV men who would otherwise be getting laid if not for their religious convictions against extramarital sex.
Much has already been written about the heinous cultural environment and the immutable biological indices which reinforce these conditions. But the end result is that either way, and no matter where a man falls in the SMV hierarchy, there is this ubiquitous obsession with sex.
Few men can escape this obsession, especially younger men.
This, I believe, lies at the root of modern western men’s most grievous fault.
I say this for two attendant reasons.
- These sex colored glasses induce a gynocentric Blue Pill shift in everything that comes before a man’s thoughts and senses.
- It is very rare, if not impossible, for a person to have an obsession with love, romance, and sex, and also have a well-developed sense of discernment. (King Solomon was one of those rare exceptions, by the grace of God.)
Therefore, Men’s obsession with idealistic love, sex, and romance has a blinding effect.
This has a major impact on intersexual relationships and marriage, especially through the various decisions made throughout the dating/mating/courtship phase. Without discernment and faith to guide people to the right sort of person, in the right way, at the right time, people will naturally follow what they’ve learned through the examples they’ve been most impressed by, be it their parents, peers, pop stars, or p0rn stars.
The Obsession is Limbic
“The love of a woman is one of the sweetest, most sublime experiences a man can know. It is integral, if not essential, to the human condition. Men and women are intended to be together. We are not intended to be isolated or alone. We are intended to be fruitful and multiply; and that requires social and sexual intercourse.”
Following this, Adam made deti out to be a p_ssy pedestalizer! At first reading, I laughed because of the sheer incongruency. I mean, for the past decade or so, deti has been one of the loudest voices in the Manosphere warning men of the dangers of pedestalization. But after I sat on it for a while, I realized that even the most aware men among us are prone to falling into this trap.
In fact, it’s ingrained in our limbic hardware.
At a more basic level, this “sublime experience” that deti speaks of is a subjective description of how sex bonds men to their wives — the dopamine, norepinephrine, oxytocin, and all the psychological idealization that goes with that. It leads to contentment, sanctification, and stability in marriage. This is a good thing, because without it, many wives and marriages would be insufferable.
Speaking for myself, I have noticed that if the sex with my wife is frequent and satisfying, then I can handle any kind of bad attitude or $h!t test from her. But if the sex is shameful, starfishy, or non-existent for weeks on end, then I can’t even tolerate seeing her around. Red Pill Apostle has stated similar sentiments, and I think it’s true for most men.
The problem with this bonding, as we all know, is when men get too comfortable around a woman (or women in general). They let down their guard, the sexual tension drops, the emotional boundaries get blurry, they lose frame, and then the natural bonding easily disintegrates into pedestalization.
Unmarried men are especially susceptible to pedestalization because (1) younger men’s stronger libido transforms the obsession with sex into a constant drumbeat that is practically irresistible, (2) limbic bonding occurs with illicit sex or p0rn (instead of a wife), and (3) they don’t have to live with the constant daily reminders of how much of a headache a woman can be, which tends to put everything into perspective. Taken together, this ultimately results in fantastical idealization (i.e. idolatry) and confusion about the value and purpose of the woman and her proper place and role in his life. Or as deti put it, “P_ssy makes men stupid!”
Real No Fap Celibacy
As I mentioned above, one major spiritual effect of sin and continually making poor decisions is a loss of discernment and faith. Celibacy and marriage are the Biblically prescribed ways to avoid the Blinding Obsession.
Adam wrote another post that describes the importance of exercising agency to embrace celibacy.
“Celibacy absolutely must be viewed as a positive Christian choice because by doing as such we are embracing God’s path for us in a positive manner. This is critically important because it means that as a man you have individual power and autonomy over your actions and choices.”Adam Piggott: Voluntarily Celibate (2022-3-26)
Adam emphasized that celibacy must necessarily be of the no fapping sort. When I was younger, I didn’t believe jerking off was a sin. No one told me it was, and the Bible doesn’t really mention it specifically.* But looking back now, I can see that the last paragraph of the previous section applied to me. So judging by the overall effects of masturbation, now I have the opinion that it is a sin, or at the very least, a very bad habit that messes up the limbic programming and by extension, one’s psychology regarding intersexual relations.
You see, solo sex forms a self-reinforcing cycle, or a “stronghold” as some Christian authors have called it. Psychoanalysts call it an emotional dependence on auto-eroticism. Psychologists simply call it an addiction.
Adam also emphasized the importance of exercising autonomy and not getting drawn into the stronghold of lust, p0rn, and squirting. The implicit challenge of staying free or breaking out of this stronghold is this — embracing fap free celibacy is not a real option unless a man first takes off the sex colored blueshift lenses. Abandoning the sex lens is the crucial first step, because without doing so, a man can’t even get the vision of no-fap celibacy as being an actionable option. Adam mentioned that it took him a few months to get free from this stronghold, and I’d say that’s pretty fast. It took me a couple years to get free from wanking, and several more to escape the habit of lust. (Some strategies for dealing with this are listed in the Conclusions below.)
Adam ends this post with a critically pertinent injunctive that bears repeating.
“So take courage from these words and embrace the path that God has chosen for you, with grace and dignity and good humor. Do not overburden yourself with red pill rules while you jump through self-inflicted hoops to attract a mate or keep the one that you’re in danger of losing. Rather, get your own house in order. Focus on His rules and laws and how you can live them as a worthy servant of our Lord. If that means being celibate, really celibate, then so be it. If we are going to be worthy of Him then we need to be made of stern stuff.”Adam Piggott: Voluntarily Celibate (2022-3-26)
* I thought the oft cited story of Onan in Genesis 38:9 didn’t apply, because he was not masturbating, he was having sex with his brother’s wife (which seemed odd in itself). Looking back, I see mine was a legalistic approach based on Purity Culture‘s views on Pseudo-Sex and Technical-Virginity (2020-5-11).
Going off of the 3 conditions listed in the last paragraph of The Obsession is Limbic, here are things that can help a man stay free from the blinding obsession.
- Reduce libido (I’m not sure if this is possible?)
- Abstain from illicit sex and avoid p0rn and masturbation.
- Spend time with real women and read Red Pill literature to get a realistic mental concept of women. (Some men might want to avoid super hot women if this stokes their libido and incites lust.)
- Also, stay focused on your own mission in life and pursue Flow, which tends to displace thoughts about women in general.
On that last point, and in closing, I’ll quote the final passage in the aforementioned post from Adam.
“Young men and boys today would do well to develop and cultivate their bonds of friendship through shared endeavors. As men we are made up of our experiences, our learned skills and our friendships; the pecking order where we stand with other men. Focus on and enjoy those, without the stress of worrying about whether the girls will like you or not. And funnily enough, the girls always go for the guys who don’t need them.”Adam Piggott: Too thirsty for the chicks (2022-3-30)
- Σ Frame (Jack): The True Ontology of Power (2019-5-16)
- Σ Frame (Jack): The Sinful Savior Complex (2019-8-12)
- Σ Frame (Jack): The Red Pill and Blue Pill as Paradigms of Sanctification and Defilement (with a mathematical analogy) (2020-11-15)
- Σ Frame (Oscar): The Soul Mate Myth (2021-2-3)
- Σ Frame (Jack): Not Trusting women is Deep Inner Game (2021-12-15)
- Σ Frame (Jack): Does Masturbation improve Preselection? (2022-2-16)