The Power of the Mind is Amazing!
Readership: All
Theme: Overcoming Obstacles
Author’s Note: This post was inspired by a comment from Scott.
Length: 1,300 words
Reading Time: 4.5 minutes
Introduction
Recently, PA Pundits reported that Elon Musk Becomes Twitter’s Largest Shareholder After Citing Free Speech Concerns (2022-4-5).
“Elon Musk, the billionaire owner of Tesla and SpaceX, has purchased 73.5 million shares of Twitter stock, making him the largest shareholder. He now owns 9.2% of shares.”
To be exact, Musk now owns 73,486,938 shares of Twitter. Twitter shares shot up 27% immediately after he bought in. Now his holdings are worth $2.89 billion!
Good God! How the ħә11 does one man become that wealthy???
India Kilo Romeo told us…
“It is entirely possible and plausible to go from zero income to being a top 95th percentile earner in a new field/industry in 8 years — including training years.
I did so, and could have made it in 5-6 if I had followed a mentor. I had zero knowledge.”
“Once, when asked by a reporter how long it would take to rebuild his entire empire if he lost everything, Henry Ford guesstimated about five years.
To build a life for a single man — complete with a new body, language, country, friends, family, career — in the span of 10 years is nothing.”
Okay… but how?
We’ve all seen articles like these all over the internet.
- Entrepreneur: 5 Mindset Secrets to Achieve Your Goals Faster (2016-7-19)
- Success: 7 Crucial Mindset Shifts to Achieve Everything You Want (2017-1-18)
- Thrive: The Four Mindset Shifts that Will Help You to Accomplish Your Goals (2018-1-31)
These headlines seem boring, cliche, almost so unendurable that they’re not even worthy of a click. Furthermore, the content doesn’t seem to be related to Musk, Ford, and others like them.
There is something more behind these words that the reader browsing for casual entertainment is wont to miss — a truth that remains hidden to the blithe mind, and only visible — only meaningful — to the innermost heart.
The next two sections will give an account of how that works.
Achieving Small Goals
At times when I need to wake up really early (like around 4:00 a.m.) in order to start the day, I’ll go to bed well before 10:00 p.m. the night before, and just before I lie down in bed, I’ll slap the pillow three times and say, “I’m going to wake up at 4:00 a.m.!” Somehow, I’ll wake up at 3:58 a.m., just before the alarm rings.
LocustsPlease said he’s done the same thing, with similar results.
Another example. Back in 1998, I paid $500 for an old 1968 Chrysler 300 muscle car that had an unknown problem with the engine. I don’t think I ever told this to myself, but I had the subconscious idea, “I want to drive this car, so I’m going to fix this problem.” Never did it before. Never had any training. Didn’t have any YouTube videos back then. Just a large toolbox and an old maintenance manual I picked up at a car show. After some tinkering and consulting a couple more knowledgeable friends, I discovered a timing gear that was so worn out it wouldn’t even run. I bought some new parts from NAPA and replaced it. I also repainted some of the engine parts while I had it all apart. It took me about two weeks, but I got it done! Afterwards, that car would go from 0 to 50 mph in five seconds!
I’ve made resolutions like this so often that I don’t even think about it. I don’t know how many times I’ve done it, but every time I do it, I manage to make things happen. But now that I think about it, it is rather amazing.
How do you explain that?
Achieving Intermediate Goals
Determination and Detachment (2022-4-2) was about staying focused on one’s goals, and not being distracted by neither one’s feelings of inadequacy nor the often times rude opinions of others.
“One of the first psychological exercises that must be done even before one sets foot in a gym, or joins a sports team, etc., is to settle into an attitude of determination about achieving one’s goals, whether it be to win the championship as a valuable team player, to double one’s strength in 3 months, or simply just to pass gym class, or to maintain a regular schedule of going to the gym for the purpose of staying active.”
In response, Scott described the importance of forming a vision.
“Remember that list that I made of things I still want to do from a few posts back? It wasn’t supposed to be funny. I will get those things done, or die before I do.
You know how I do it? I use my imagination to visualize, with as much detail as possible — me getting them done. Then, I calculate all the steps from this point until that, and start on step one. And I never stop until I get there (or die). I do not care what anyone else thinks about the goals. I do not think about what might happen to stop me.
That’s it.”
This is essentially what I do too. I take a moment to cement the idea in my mind, lay out a rough schedule of events and timeframes, and what I’ll have to do to make it happen, and somehow, that sticks in my subconscious and shapes other decisions I make along the way. Sure enough, it get’s done. Using this mindset, I’ve earned three academic degrees and established a satisfying career overseas, among many other minor accomplishments.
Achieving Big Goals
Larger goals take more time to accomplish, of course, and this requires a regular habit of attaining small goals and intermediate goals. It cannot be done randomly or whimsically either. A man needs to have a larger purpose — something he wants to achieve. This requires a vision.
Henry Ford’s goal was to create “a motor car for the great multitude“, with the expressed purpose of making the automobile accessible and affordable to everyone, not only the elite. He envisioned an America in which everyone had a car.
Elon Musk said, in so many words, that the thing that drives him is vision.
“I think it’s important to have a future that is inspiring and appealing. There has to be reasons you get up in the morning and want to live. Why do you want to live? What’s the point? What inspires you? What do you love about the future?”
Medium/Mission: Elon Musk Life Purpose EXPLAINED (2017-10-10)
He has a vision for SpaceX, and also a vision for Tesla as well. I trust he has a vision for Twitter too, something along the lines of limiting politically biased censorship.
Conclusions
The title of this post is The Power of the Mind is Amazing! But I believe this is a misnomber. It is not actually the mind itself that is behind certain phenomena (e.g. like resolving to wake up at a certain time, and then waking up 2 minutes before the alarm goes off), because (to my knowledge) this cannot be fully explained by psychology or biology.
It may be more accurate to say that The Power of Faith is Amazing!
“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.”
Hebrews 11:1 (NKJV)
Concerning the achievement of larger goals, in addition to faith, there is also imagination and vision, and some amount of hope, willpower, and a belief in one’s self involved.
“…assuredly, I say to you, if you have faith as a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you.”
Jesus in Matthew 17:20 (NKJV)
We need to expand our understanding of what faith is, and what it can do.
Related
- Σ Frame (Jack): The relationship between passion and faith. (2007-5-29)
- Σ Frame (Jack): Works, Faith and Miracles in Stewardship (2009-10-12)
- Σ Frame (Jack): The Trouble with Resolutions, Inner Vows and Commitments (2010-1-14)
- Σ Frame (Jack): Stepping up to the Challenge (2018-4-29)
- Σ Frame (Jack): The Power of the Word (2021-9-3)
- Σ Frame (Red Pill Apostle): Dating in the Lion’s Den: Relying on Faith when the options are daunting (2021-12-13)
- Σ Frame (Jack): What is Mysticism? (2022-2-1)
- The Babylon Bee: Twitter Workers Worried Elon Musk Will Turn Their Free Speech Platform Into Platform That Allows Free Speech (2022-4-5)
- The Babylon Bee: Not To Be Outdone, Bill Gates Buys 9.2% Of MySpace (2022-4-5)
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This will probably sound pretty stupid, but people might remember that old screen saver where you could just type in any text and it would appear as a phrase bouncing around your screen when it timed out.
When I was in graduate school, mine read “David S. Klajic, Ph.D.” Every time I walked away from my computer for more than 20 minutes, I would come back to that.
This was part of a much larger array of visualization techniques I used to stay on task. I’ve done stuff like that my whole life.
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I remember those screen savers.
When I was in graduate school, I found that I could not remember some new things I was learning. I felt like I understood it while I was sitting in class, but when I got home to my desk, it was lost from my recollection. I had to review the material for a while before I could get it back again. But then later on, after I went out to eat dinner and came back, I had already lost it again. I felt like this slow absorption of the material was slowing me down, and it was frustrating. So I made a habit of writing things I wanted to remember in big font (like > 48 point) and printing out little posters that I hung all over my house and my research office. It helped remind me of those things during the times when I wasn’t studying, and I’m sure this improved my learning curve. But even then, it took me a year or two to really master those concepts.
I also made summary sheets — pages of numerical values and equations that I used frequently, but were difficult or time consuming to find or recalculate. These summary sheets served as a quick reference and saved me a lot of time. Of course, I kept these in my notebooks, not on the walls.
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Envisioning the future and setting goals is great. Two things I learned about goals that are on the negative side are (1) the issues that arise once the goal is attained, namely a loss of motivation (once a goal attained it is no longer a motivator), and (2) even worse, a loss of momentum to “maintain the gain.” A good example that’s really familiar is weight loss. The goal to lose, say 20 pounds, once attained, is no longer a motivator; and for most people, it begins a descent back in the direction of the original weight. For me it leaves the question, “I did all this hard work to attain the goal I envisioned, what do I do now to maintain the gain?” If it is a one-time deal goal, the question becomes more along the lines of, “Okay, that’s done, where do I go from here?”
I believe having visions and setting goals is important, the missing piece for me in my personal growth and development that I’m really focusing on right now is in forming HABITS or habitual patterns that remain long after the goal has been reached. I’ve been reading a good book lately, Atomic Habits by James Clear, which addresses this phenomena very well. He focuses on PROCESSES and SYSTEMS that establish lasting habits, thus reducing, in some respects, the pressure of goals and the “make it or else” phenomena associated with them, i.e. “Make it –> feel great about myself; Miss it –> feel bad about myself.” So, for me, it’s a formula something along the lines of “Vision + Goals + Forming Habits = Goals attained + Results maintained.”
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Yep!
Every time I accomplish something, I go through a mini-depression because now I have to think of some way to top myself.
Standing back and admiring the accomplishment is not a skill I have.
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A few years ago I could not really “swim”.
Sure, I could propel myself through the water, but with no real style or form.
So, at about 44, I decided to learn. Part of the problem is an anxiety process I have about having my face down in the water. I surfed a lot in high school, but I had my board with me, so I never really noticed how much it bothered me. Swimming over long distances requires your face to be down, take several strokes, lift your head out, breathe, and put it right back down.
When you do it right, you actually leave about half your mouth in the water, just lifting enough to get the air in. This is disturbing to me even if the ground is 3 feet down, and all I have to do is stand up.
But I can do it now. It’s never too late to conquer stuff like that. You have to, or risk never growing as a person. I’m never going to be awesome at it. But I can now see how many people do it wrong, which is somewhat satisfying.
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Young girl, one day you will be old.
But the thing is, I love you now.
Morrisey drops the red pill in 1989.
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Stardusk on the gym. I agree… but I don’t… but I do…… Stardusk is one of the original MGTOWs.
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I like the whole, “NPC, sitting in his messy room, drinking his post workout shake, staring at the wall, calendar days marked off” thing.
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It’s funny because it’s ironic. The NPC archetype, by definition, is not that self-aware and self-disciplined.
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“Chad Thunderschlong” LOL.
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I listened to this. It seems to me like he’s missing the point. Obviously there are guys who are going to be able to get bigger and stronger more easily. That’s true of any endeavor. And am I working out for vanity’s sake? Yeah, probably some percentage. Am I working out to “get da girls”? Yeah, probably to some percentage. But I’m convinced that being stronger than I currently am has to be better than not being stronger. And I think even if lifting never makes me a huge gym bro, the confidence comes from disciplining myself and committing to something difficult. More of a settled inner mental confidence.
When I hear the line that “I put in all this effort to eke out some gains, and Chad Thunderschlong still wins with the girls instead of me”, it just makes me think she was never going to be interested in me anyway. Next.
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A friend of mine pointed out that lifting weights and getting stronger helps us to navigate the human world better, but nature is still bigger, faster, and stronger. Getting stronger helps you to carry a 5 gallon bucket of water or paint more easily, but rocks are quickly much heavier than you can lift.
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This is a good example of how physical strength is related to a man’s sphere of influence. When a man makes his body stronger, he is able to lift more and do more than he could before. His sphere of influence is effectively enlarged. I could easily believe that part of the reason why women are attracted to stronger men is precisely for this reason.
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The most beneficial part of getting stronger for me is being able to better control my own mass. The less I have to strain to move my own body the more control I have in awkward situations such as wading a trout stream broadside to the current with less than ideal footing.
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If you lift at home, your kids get to watch you struggle, improve, and achieve your goals. That’s valuable.
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https://imgur.com/a/gqRbNKt
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ROFL
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Gyms are intimidating. You’re being fatphobic. Same BS, different sexes.
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Wait until these activist rocket surgeons try to make the public health crisis obesity epidemic fit with fatphobia. Increased rates of diabetes, stroke and heart disease must be the result the psychological strain fatphobia causes those people on which gravity inequitably exerts its force.
We’re doomed.
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I’m totally afraid of fat!
So yes. This applies to me.
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I like the fat on a well-marbled ribeye.
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I’m at hour 17 of an intermittent fast so a well marbled ribeye sounds really good right now.
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I wonder if the “fatphobia” stuff is funded by drug companies. All the fat people in my office take 10 pills a day due to their health problems from being fat.
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Good point. I am almost 51 and I take ZERO pills or medications for chronic conditions.
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I made a meme. (Saved on my laptop.) How do I get it to appear in the comments?
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Ask your kids 🙂
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I used to put it on a hosting site, then share the link. But it never works now. I know Oscar knows how to do it.
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Scott,
Internet files having a name like “http:// … .jpg” can be directly posted.
If you can’t get it to work, email the image to me. I’ll turn it into an internet file and insert it into your comment.
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That’s how I do it.
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One of the biggest bald faced lies women tell is,
“I don’t like muscles! Eww muscles are gross!”
When women say this, what they mean is they do not like the massively bulked up, vein popping, shredded, 2% body fat, competition cut bodybuilder look. (But given a choice between competition bodybuilder cut, and flabby dadbod, they’ll pick the former, every time.)
But women do very much like muscular definition on men. They very much like men with Scott’s look in his Chad Thunderschlong photo. Muscular definition and some bulk on men is very sexually appealing to women. Don’t let them tell you otherwise.
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What women mean when they say “dad bod”:
Image Source: Vanity Fair: Don Draper Is Not Immune to Tan Lines, and Other Important Conclusions Drawn from the Leaked Mad-Men-in-Hawaii Photos (2012-10-25)
An actual dad bod:
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I watched every season episode of “Mad Men” and never once saw Don Draper go to the gym. He smoked and drank a lot, was a womanizer, not really a good father…. but hey, being good looking gets you a pass on everything, which is a truth.
The gym posturing in this forum is getting really deep in here now. Any minute now, dick pics are going to be whipped out…
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Yeah, and over at Ted’s site, he’s “wealth posturing” and coming down on Zoomers and anyone who took out a student loan.
Seems like every man has his own thing that he struts around. I’d say this is an emotionally healthy thing for a man… until it comes to the point of preening and condemning everyone who’s not in the same state.
Going to the gym and staying in shape is a good thing. A good many men here have offered some great tips and advice.
Being well off is a good thing. Too bad Ted can’t give us some advice about that, instead of crapping on other men.
Jason, maybe you’re not interested in physical fitness, maybe you’re not well off, but you do have your own niche in music and Welsh culture. You can be proud of that. You’ve also had experiences with addictions and going through recovery and rehab. That’s not really something to be proud of, but it is an area of specialized knowledge that places you in a valuable position to help others with those same kinds of problems. In fact, I believe that’s part of your God ordained mission in life (according to 2 Corinthians 1:3-7). You should focus on how you can be doing that.
Let’s get into the habit of recognizing and appreciating the abilities, achievements, skills, and interests of others (Philippians 2:1-5).
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You do realize that “Mad Men” is fiction, right?
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Lastmod,
Yeah, but at least my gym posturing meme was funny.
Anonymous_ng got it.
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@ Jack
You misunderstood Ted’s sarcasm. He’s in favor of a “debt jubilee” for student loans.
Fortunately, Dave Ramsey does a good job of teaching people to build wealth.
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@Jack:
Ted seems, in that post, to be advocating on behalf of Zoomers, not criticizing them.
He’s mocking those of us who are against absolving student loan debt.
Or am I misunderstanding him?
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@ Elspeth
You got it right.
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“I watched every season episode of “Mad Men” and never once saw Don Draper go to the gym. He smoked and drank a lot, was a womanizer, not really a good father…. but hey, being good looking gets you a pass on everything, which is a truth.”
Jason has a good point here, but it also misses the point too.
Back THEN, men didn’t need to go to the gym and develop their biceps, and women didn’t expect to get Chad Thunderschlong.
We don’t live in that age any longer. So, men may need to hit the gym.
Man Men was set in 1960. Hormonal birth control was first sold in 1960. Reagan signed no-fault divorce into law in California in 1969. Social media didn’t exist. In 1960, 80% of households had no more than one car. The Feminine Mystique wasn’t published until 1963, and Roe V Wade hadn’t been adjudicated.
Ergo, that was a different world. But, also, according to this article, Don Draper’s equivalent income was in the top 1% – https://www.urbannestpdx.com/life-in-portland/2014/5/27/the-mad-men-era-cost-of-living-then-now
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Back THEN American men were not obese lardasses. Today, most are. It’s easier than ever to stand out from the crowd.
It’s good to be realistic about the disadvantages men face today, but sometimes Androspherians obsess over the disadvantages, and ignore the advantages.
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I got a notice that all my student loans went to zero because I have a combat related disability.
Thanks uncle Joe!!!!
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It’s because I’m a “hero” fv$k yeah!
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Cry me a river. Pay your loans. I finished grad school in 1994 with 84K in debt. I paid every cent back. It took me until 2018 to get it all done. There were months when I was late. Times I had to skip a payment(s). Also, the horrible, endless phone calls when I missed a payment.
When I took out my Federal Student Loan. The cost paid room (grad student housing on the polytechnic campus), board (more horrible college food) and tuition / fees. The check was made out to “Rensselaer Polytech Institute” it was not made out to me. I got a job down the hill from the campus at a small bar full of students from there and nearby womens college Rusell Sage. I had to buy my books, daly living stuff and live like I did when I was an undergrad. The only advantage was that grad student housing on that campus didn’t close for the summer. We could stay during breaks and vacations.
Today….and for awhile. The “student loan” is used for Starbucks, pizza, car payments, rent, a class, some books….more money is borrowed….if the check was MADE OUT to the respected college or university…..the debt would be MUCH lower. By far.
Yes, my graduate school was way overpriced for the respected degree I got (MS Technical Communications / UCD (User Centered Design) UCD should mean Useless Certificate Degree
No empathy here. Pay your loans back. If people are going to get forgiven. I demand my 84K returned to me that I paid back to the US Dept of Education.
Your Welcome
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Ah but didn’t you get the memo? Everyone who has ever worn a US military uniform, regardless of how insignificant their contribution, or how many deployments they skipped, or how ill-conceived, stupid and unjust the last 20 plus years of war was is a “warrior” and entitled to have their student loans forgiven.
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IDK about anyone else, but when people thank me for my service, it feels hella weird.
I knew what I was getting myself into. I got paid for it. And, I’m pretty sure I get looked at more because I’m a veteran than I would if I wasn’t.
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Anonymous_ng
I hate being thanked for my “service.”
I just want to say “no. Thank YOU, random citizen for thanking me for my service.”
Then make an awkward exit.
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Meh. I just smile and say “thank you”. They’re being polite. I’m polite in return.
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I meant to say that my resume gets more looks because I was a military officer.
I’m not impolite about it, but even from my extended family it feels weird. Nuff said.
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deti,
This describes Mrs. Apostle to a T. Most women prefer a lean, muscular physique without being massive. By lean, I mean a man with with a bodyfat percentage in the low to mid teens. Anything in the single digits is rare due to the discipline required with food and the time it takes exercising. In college I was in the 8-10% bodyfat range, but that was because I trained 50 miles a week and was in the weight room 3-4x a week on top of that. Being too far below that level for a sustained period increases the chances of health issues.
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RPA, in my gym excursions I’ve seen enough of what you’re describing to where I don’t need to know the actual body fat percentages, the eye test gives me the information I need. Agree it’s not the super jacked, body builder types, but rather a strong, solid framed guy with big biceps, but not in a huge distorted way like the body builders, that the women seem to like.
Although I must admit, since everyone these days is acting so stoic at the gym, male and female alike, you have to pick it up in the subtle checking out they do of each other. I can pick up ‘the vibe’ when Stacy REALLY likes what she sees. It also helps if he’s tall, handsome, nice jawline and legs to boot.
BTW, as an aside, I saw this recently when the former University of Georgia quarterback and now NFL QB, Jake Fromm, stopped by my gym. The gym has a curvy cutie on staff who seems to me to be a bit haughty because she knows she’s a hottie. Not my favorite type exactly, but she’s definitely an 8. Anyways, she was posing for a pic with Jake in front of the gym’s logo. What got my attention is ‘little miss haughty’, instead of looking her usual “just a bit too full of her self” way, looked more like a giddy school girl posing with Jake. Stacy meets Chad!
Right after this type of guy, let’s call him Chad 1, is Chad 1a. The second Chad is close to Chad 1, but he is a bit leaner, biceps well defined but not quite as large as Chad 1, but is still quite attractive to Stacy. He’s tall, handsome, and an acceptable enough consolation prize if Chad 1 isn’t interested. After Chad 1 and 1a, it starts tailing off noticeably with the guys. Not that they are unacceptable in any way, well… at least the upper half of the men, but in this day and age, Stacy is not going to give them a second glance. Back in my day, they would have had girlfriends — easily.
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“In college I was in the 8-10% bodyfat range, but that was because I trained 50 miles a week and was in the weight room 3-4x a week on top of that.”
In college I was in the 8-10% bodyfat range, just because I was 20 years old. I scarfed junk food, got minimal sleep, and did whatever I felt like doing. When some young person tries to tell me what they do to stay in shape, or writes an article about it, I just laugh. Because at that age I couldn’t even get out of shape, despite doing almost everything wrong. Back then I had six pack abs on a junk food diet and party animal lifestyle.
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I was having this conversation with my boss just this morning. He was saying how it’s much harder to stay lean when we get older. I contend that in many ways it is not.
When I was in college, I worked in a warehouse, and almost couldn’t get fat. And yet, I still put on five pounds during the summer because I wasn’t walking around from class to class, and I wasn’t using my brain as much studying etc.
When I was first divorced, it wasn’t too hard to stay in shape. I had the kids every other week, and they each went to a different school. They were young enough that I had to drive them everywhere, and I had to cook meals etc.
When my oldest graduated and moved out, there went one kid drop off, and voice lessons. The next year, my son got his driver’s license, and for a year, I didn’t have to drive him or his sister to school. Then, he graduated and I was back to driving a kid to school and to piano lessons. But, they were also old enough to make their own dinner, and so I cooked a lot less.
As my activity level has gone down, I’ve found it super easy to spend an inordinate amount of time in front of the keyboard, and it’s much harder to keep the weight off.
Coincidence? I doubt it.
Here’s one to consider – https://journals.physiology.org/doi/full/10.1152/ajpendo.2001.281.3.E633
Executive summary: Resting Metabolic Rate was not statistically significantly different between old men or young men when matched for caloric expenditure, or when matched for exercise energy expenditure.
TL;DR – if your NEAT and exercise are the same as when you were young, you will burn the same amount of calories as when you were young.
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anonymous_ng,
Nutrient Partitioning is what often changes with age. The Mayo clinic says:
For example, if fat were preferentially shunted toward storage, more carbohydrate would be required to meet oxidative needs, thereby preventing sufficient repletion of glycogen stores. This process is proposed to generate signals that stimulate appetite. Other examples where nutrient partitioning relates to obesity and body fat content include the stimulation of lean tissue synthesis at the expense of fat calories by androgens and growth hormone, and (presumably) the reverse of this process by deficiencies of these hormones.
As your levels of many things including growth hormone and androgens naturally decreases with age, your body may preferentially store dietary fat as bodyfat instead of using that energy to fuel muscle growth and activity, even though your activity levels may be the same. Trust me, getting old actually has a negative effect on the body and will eventually kill you if something else doesn’t.
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Pingback: Breaking Through Mental Barriers | Σ Frame
Jack, I have given my two cents about addiction here and over at Dalrock when the topic is brought up. Guess what?
I was told that I don’t know what I am talking about. Several posters here have told me that, or have corrected me on what it is or isn’t. So that is not an ordained “mission” for me, and besides…… addicts are never forgiven. The best they can do when they get clean is mop your floors, make your food at Subway, and having to prove themselves for the rest of their lives….. Well, unless you’re deemed good looking.
As for being Welsh? When I was there, I was told how I really wasn’t ‘Welsh”, and my take on that is, this was coming from people who couldn’t even manifest the LAST identity of this dying culture — the language. I embody the very worst of this culture as well — alcoholism.
BTW, Northern Wales looks like Vermont, or Vermont looks like northern Wales….. and hence why so many Welsh settled there. Probably reminded them of home; the slate mines, granite mines, and marble mnes as well.
It just seems that I ended up with the wrong gifts, the wrong missions, and the wrong existence. It’s well past the halfway point now….. so only a few decades left to endure it. As for staying fit, I don’t have a problem with that… but as usual, if I disagree here, it’s made out like I am trying to start a war.
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LastMod/Jason,
Maybe the Manosphere isn’t your niche or your calling. Maybe it’s only a “half-way house” on your “odyssey” towards spiritual recovery and growth, like it is for most other men. Maybe your “home” is somewhere beyond Dalrock.
Just from what you’ve written, I would encourage you to move to Vermont (where people don’t care if you’re “not Welsh enough” to be taken seriously). Get a job as a property manager at a rehab clinic. Be a DJ on the weekends. Something just like what you’re doing now. I’m dead serious here. Do it, and see where God takes you. If you’re not sure about pulling up roots, then just go there for two weeks and see what might come of it. I’ve met some people from Vermont, and they’re just like you (e.g. they’re staunch, value dignity, emotionally expressive, verbose speech, etc.). I’m sure you’ll fit in there perfectly. Again, I’m dead serious here.
Maybe not. Blessings abound if we have the faith and the vision to pursue them. It might not look that way at times, but it’s true. So don’t give in, don’t give up, and always do your best.
I’m waiting and praying for the day when Mr. LastMod/Jason says to me and all the other men here, at Dalrock’s, and the rest of the Manosphere, “F ’em ALL!”, and then he moves on to bigger and better things in his life. Then we’ll know our job is finished.
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I went to college in Vermont (1988-1992). Have you been there? Its pretty. What works for chocolate and watches in Switzerland works in Vermont for ice cream and antique stores.
No. I am not moving to Vermont to manage a half-way house. (You have to have a M.S. or a degree in drug rehab, or the like… or a gazillion years experience… and then you might make only 20K a year.) I am a former addict. I am not working with them. Most relapse, most lead abysmal lives and don’t change (partly because of court ordered restrictions). I had to change because there was nothing left. Also, I was tired. My sobriety now after almost 20 years? Productive. I work. I stay out of trouble. I’ve apologized and made amends many times over in many cases. Life is still a dud. Just an unfortunate existence… Therefore, the only thing left is to go out right. Clean home. Bills paid. Paperwork, life in order. Thats about all I can do at this point, with the time left. No, I will never relapse….. but there isn’t much else to live for.
I appreciate your help on this matter, or suggestions. It’s pretty much over. A few decades to go tops, and this existence will be over.
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I know what you mean at least regarding …addicts are never forgiven. I’ve experienced a situation when it was casually mentioned, as part of a testimony, that this individual no longer drinks. It kept getting thrown back up into his face with questions like, “How’s your drinking problem coming along?” Christians seemed disappointed and wanted him somehow to be continually dependent on them for prayer as he “struggles” with his drinking problem. Of course, he no longer had any problem (assuming he had a problem to begin with), but that wasn’t good enough. He had to be under constant surveillance with constant reminder of his shortcoming. The lesson to be learned is don’t volunteer information that can be turned around and used against you (and the you means any individual, not someone in particular) because most likely it will.
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Part of that is this…………addicts (drug / alcohol) in the church in general are viewed like you mentioned. In The Salvation Army…where I will give a “tad” of respect is the fact its assumed that if you are attending services there AND you’re a single man, and you are showing up at a Corps in the downtown / rotting urban core?????
You messed up big time.Huge. Usually with the drink and drugs.
Its just that kind of church; it seems to attract that kind of person. Part of it is their services, you know, drug and alcohol rehab are very focused on helping the drunk or the addict…has been for a very long time.
What is the bigger scope when I say that………holes in your resume while you got clean? You have to explain during a job interview. You once had a good job….and now, well….the only thing you can do is work 7-11 (which I did for a year and half). Odd jobs from Craigslist…no one will hire you because of your “past” and you have to be truthful. Previous employers WILL tell when referenced on your application “guy is a drunk / we fired him, was doing cocaine / was dealing drugs” Spare me “that is against the law!!!!!” with addicts and drunks…previous employers spill it. They dont want anyone to have to deal with what they did.
It is assumed that you are no good, and will always be “no good”
Even people who embezzlel or comit fraud are handed trustworthy positions almost immediately from getting fired (or caught) in their career at the investment house, bank, brokerage, or in government. Drunks. Nope. Addict? No way.
You need to work in a warehouse. You need to work a job that requires little thought, little responsibility aside from just showing up…and be away from children, and impressionable people because you know……..addicts are terrible people (they are)
From getting clean to a modicum of respect again in a career it took me almost 15 years. People I hurt still have not forgiven me. In the church I was told “jesus” forgave me….but to help, lead, or GROW in a faith? Gains skils? No! H*ll no! Addicts are bad, bad people and jesus loves them…..but there are consequences for sin (all excused if you are good looking of course….”we can’t judge” suddenly comes out and “let it to the lord, not us!”)
Addicts need to be kept in a co-dependancy int eh church / faith and they a need to be made into example by society in general for their behavior.
Hence why they are never forgiven, and hence why more don’t go to church after completing an AA / NA program or steps. God isnt allowed to work on them, according to the infamous “they” out they.
How do I know? Oh I don’t know….kinda lived it
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I think it’s well past time we asked the question: “Are people who don’t believe in the transformative power of Christ’s blood, or in the permanence of forgiveness really Christians?”
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Does that apply to former sluts, too?
I’ve never seen what you all are talking about. In particular, the Hispanic churches I attended as a kid were full of former drunks, former wife beaters, etc. I saw the transforming power of the Gospel first hand, over and over. And everyone believed in it.
In the churches I’ve attended since then, it’s been less dramatic, because most of the people who attend are middle class, but I’ve attended many churches with men who were former addicts. No one gave them any crap about it.
I’m not saying it doesn’t happen. I’m saying I haven’t see in in 46 years of attending hundreds of churches on multiple continents.
So, maybe you’re attending the wrong churches. Or, consider this. If you go through your day, and you run into a couple of a–holes, no big deal. You met a couple of a–holes. If you go through your day, and everyone you meet is an a–hole, then odds are you’re the a–hole.
Now, apply that principle to your life.
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Yeah, well written and well produced fiction. With that said, John Hamm plays tennis. He mentioned in a 2016 interview, “Yeah, I was lucky, I guess. I never had to do much with working out. I play tennis, and baseball club with friends.”
I also remember him when I did see clips of “3rd Rock” on NBC. He mentioned once, “I got the role and my appearances on that show for my looks. That was part of the gag on that show.” (It was!)
He has been seen in L.A. while ‘Mad Men” was in production of “playing tennis”, and there were no TMZ or gym sightings. He’s a decent enough actor, and at least he wasn’t giving all of us “BS” about his daily routine of a perfect diet, and the hard work he puts in at the gym. He did talk much. much more about his work and dedication to acting… and with Mad Men… as Don Draper. It was excellent. That was a very, very complex character. I liked the show for its spot-on design and fashion style from the era. That team, the film crew, castings in the sets, the wardrobe crew and the like did their homework.
But yeah…….. he does embody the “life is not fair” thing from men like myself when it comes to basic genetics.
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I didn’t get John Hamm’s gifts either. So?
While we’re at it, when you were making six figures at IBM, I was picking fruit for less than minimum wage. So?
What good would it do me to whine about any of that?
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It wasn’t whining Oscar, it was stating a fact. This is where I cannot win with you. When I was making six figures at IBM, I was living in San Francisco. I was also in a high tax bracket. After rent, taxes, deductions and the other trimmings…..I left 24K. Now, the expenses of going out. Sure. Wasting it. Yes. Drugs. Yup. I was actually no better than you were picking fruit. You can then say “well, move and work for IBM at another facility in a less expensive state” and I DID look into that. Tuscon, AZ btw…..and if I moved, I would have had my pay cut by 46K. It would have been futile to move there. Thank god I didn’t. They closed that facility with little warning in 1999….leaving thousands of “professionals” out of work in an area with only Taco Bell jobs and the strippers’ pole for women. I
The difference is: You had options and something. I had and have nothing. That’s the difference. So, proud of you. Glad you can crush us all into petroleum. Glad you have the ability and means, and intelligence, and attitude, and respect by others to say “you are not putting in the work”
I crawled back the best I can, and have “done the work” (career wise / sobriety wise) and seeing little or no reward in that, I again see and can at least understand “why bother” is an attitude with many people today. The rewards are minimal, and again on the physical side….you are assuming every man has “equal outcomes” and if the outcome isnt as desired, according to you: you didn’t put in the work.
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Yeah, it was. I’ll show how at the end.
Which is still better than picking fruit for less than minimum wage, which is where I was at the time. Oh, and I was also shoveling cow crap for less than minimum wage, which was even more awesome.
So did, and do, you.
That’s false, and it’s whining.
That’s a lie. You’re not just wrong, Jason. You’re lying, and you know you’re lying. You know that I specifically wrote that genetics matter, and that some men get better results due to their genetics. Which is another reason why what you’re doing is whining.
Because you didn’t. You said you didn’t lift weights. You didn’t do the work. Which is another reason why what you’re doing is whining.
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By the way, remember that bonus you said you got from IBM? If you’d invested that back then, it would be well over $1 million now. No one ever gave me a bonus for picking fruit, or shoveling cow crap.
You had every opportunity to succeed. You had opportunities I never got. Whining about the ones you didn’t get, and other did, hasn’t helped you, and it never will.
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This is the funniest thing I’ve seen with John Hamm.
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