Faith, Fellowship, Purpose, and Inner Game helps.
Theme: Overcoming Obstacles
Length: 1,200 words
Reading Time: 4 minutes
About Adam’s Podcast
Adam Piggott and Scott Klajic recorded a podcast that addresses many of the topics we’ve covered this month, especially those contained in the following posts and the resulting discussions.
- Σ Frame (Oscar): What Ted got right (2022-4-4)
- Σ Frame (Jack): A blinding obsession (2022-4-15)
- Σ Frame (Jack): A Clarification on Fornication (2022-4-16)
- Σ Frame (Jack): What Women find Attractive: Fit and Skilled (2022-4-18)
The podcast can be found here.
- Adam Piggott: Podcast #151 – The sexual misery episode with Scott Klajic (2022-4-24)
- Pushing Rubber Podcast: Podcast #151 – The sexual misery episode with Scott Klajic (2022-4-24)
The thing I find interesting about Adam’s podcasts with Scott is that, “Hey, here’s a Catholic dude and an Orthodox guy, they have different nationalities and a totally different walk of life, and they agree on 90% of stuff and get along just fine.” It’s an encouragement of faith. They can also be funny at times.
In response to this podcast, I want to reemphasize a running point that may have gotten lost among all the words that have appeared on Σ Frame this month. (Remember, the theme is Overcoming Obstacles!)
The intermediate goal is to get past the blinding obsession with women and sex.
Men must deal with whatever personal issues they may have with the “woman question” and somehow adapt/adjust their desires for a wife, sex, marriage, and/or having children into a larger purpose. Here, I’ll repeat two noteworthy lines from the podcast,
Scott (32:45): “If you don’t master your passions, your passions will master you.”
Adam (39:37): These guys who are spending their time agonizing over [how to get the] chicks are buying into the trap of the system. They’re completely being sucked in. They don’t understand that the answer to their problems is not how to get the chicks. The answer to their problems is how to step outside their conditioning and start beginning the process of really developing themselves as a man, and discovering what you can do — not who you are — chicks discover who they are — men make themselves. […] If you’re sitting around agonizing about how to get the girls, you’re basically one of the girls!
For some men, this might mean (as Adam said in the podcast) to forget about women altogether. For other men, it would mean they need to pull their Game together and establish Headship in their relationships. For all men, it means to get serious about overcoming one’s personal obstacles and making progress on one’s mission.
Listeners might object to the unempathic tone of Adam’s podcast, since both Adam and Scott come from the perspective of not really having any trouble with women. Adam tends to disparage the whole idea of continuing to talk about how to attract women. But their overall point about the need to look beyond the wimmin/sex question is a good one for all men to hear.
As for me personally, I am right on the threshold of the proverbial top 20%. When I work out and dress sharp, I’ll get IOIs from random strangers every day, young and old, at church, on the train, waiting at the bus stop, walking across town… There have been periods of my life when I could regularly expect picking up a phone number every time I left the house. But… if I don’t work out, or don’t get enough rest, etc., then my Meet Cute Mojo™ disappears and then I’m just a regular guy. So I know both sides of the experience. In the past, my biggest problems with women was that I was very Blue Pill naive, religiously conscientious, and never developed any Game until late in life (late 30s to early 40s).
A little about Game
DS holds the view that Game is of the flesh. I did too when I was younger, and I totally eschewed all Game as prideful and worldly. Needless to say, I didn’t have any Game in my younger years, and those who did didn’t like me very much. But after being married for a while, and then coming across the descriptions of and arguments about Game on the Manosphere, I opened up my views and gained a new appreciation of Game. I began to view Game itself as an expression of charisma (although one that is often misused and abused). I developed a revised understanding of the place and value of Game. My view on Game now is that it makes all of life go a lot smoother because it’s easier to display social graces and convey common forms of love and grace to others which can then be received as such. To some extent, embracing Game was a solution to my own “woman question”, many of my marital troubles, and resolving some of my Inner Game issues, some of which were related to my faith. I don’t really have much problem with women any more.
About why I still cover issues with women
First of all, Scott and I both have a passion for helping younger people find a better path to marriage. I believe there are younger Christian men out there (and women too) who want to marry and have a family, but like me, they’ve had too much exposure to the sexualization of everything in the culture, and too much Blue Pill exposure in church, and it’s totally messed up their Inner Game and their ability to deal with women.
Another reason is because I can empathize with men, especially younger Christian men, who find it nearly impossible to deal with being a sexually virile male (e.g. identifying cultural lies, living with a supercharged libido, resisting temptation, developing social efficacy, finding one’s purpose, enacting agency, etc.). I recognize the importance of helping men navigate the sex drenched (or sex parched, DOYV) SMP, and the wastelands of modern marriage. As Scott quoted Dalrock (?) in the podcast (at 9:30), “Saving the seeds of civilization while the fire rushes over the forest.”
Third, there needs to be a forum where Christian men can discuss these issues. The targeted audience is very small, but the message is critically important to them. Right now, I think Σ Frame, Christianity and Masculinity, and RPChristians may be the only Christian Manosphere sites that concentrate on building/maintaining intersexual relationships and present it as a potential positive.
What else is out there for men? Churchianity? Wokeism? Progressivism? Marxism? Red Pill is fading out and taking on the reputation as a Gen X stint. Just about everything on YouTube and the internet is either Blue Pill or Black Pill, which offers very little transferrable knowledge to those guys in the way of establishing a satisfying, God glorifying marriage relationship.
I’ve had such a wide spectrum of experiences with women, wrestling with religiosity, and dealing with Inner Game issues that I feel like I need to put everything together and share what I’ve learned — maybe Millennials won’t appreciate it, but I think Gen Z on will. I mean, what are we passing on to the next generation? I hope it’s something more than jaded cynicism about women and marriage, or “enjoy the decline”, or “forget about women altogether.” Even if men actually DO need to forget about women, we need to elaborate on the whys and hows, so that they can process their confusion, develop faith, and get over the obsession.
- Σ Frame (Jack): Profile of an excellent leader (2014-12-22)
- The Rational Male: Rites of Passage (2016-12-5)
- Σ Frame (Jack): Purple Haze (2017-11-9)
- Σ Frame (Jack): Exposing the Truth to Others (2018-1-1)
- Σ Frame (Jack): The Dispensation of the Red Pill (2018-4-7)
- Σ Frame (Jack): Stepping up to the Challenge (2018-4-29)
- Σ Frame (Jack): A Brother Is Borne Out Of Adversity (2018-6-10)
- Σ Frame (Jack): Where is your life headed? (2019-2-8)
- Σ Frame (Scott): Life education beats the smarm (2020-5-6)
- Σ Frame (Jack): Are you a man or a mushroom? (2020-8-17)
- Σ Frame (Red Pill Apostle): Rethinking Rites of Passage From a Biblical Perspective (2021-7-12)
- Σ Frame (Red Pill Apostle): Developing Masculinity (2021-12-6)
- Σ Frame (Thedeti): Deti’s Advice to Underqualified Men (2021-12-8)