Does Masturbation improve Preselection?

Is releasing sexual tension helpful or not?

Readership: All
Theme: Dating and the SMP
Note: Post updated to reflect some input from readers. Links to comments are contained in the initial word.
Length: 1,600 words
Reading Time: 5.5 minutes

Introduction

Preselection is a thing because the prime manner in which women evaluate themselves and each other, and the way they confer status on each other in the feminine social matrix, is through the value and caliber of man each woman is able to get and keep. A man who can get many women to sleep with him presents as high value.

  • For men, women get turned on by a guy who’s having sex with other women, but not one who masturbates.
  • For women, it is the opposite. Guys would get turned on by a woman who masturbates, but not one who’s having sex with other men.

Women masturbating is always sexy because it signals sexual availability. It signals a woman who wants sex. But a woman having sex with other men signals other men have already claimed her and thus she is not sexually available.

Men masturbating is never sexy because the only reason a man masturbates is because he either cannot or will not get a woman to do it for him. A man who has had sex with other women signals competence, interpersonal acumen, and sexual attractiveness. A man who has had sex feels good about himself, because he’s gotten this basic need satisfied. Now that sex is taken care of, he can go about doing all the other things he wants and needs to do.

Biblical Sexology argues that Masturbation Is NOT A Sin In The Bible (2022-2-11). So the question then becomes whether it is helpful or not. Many people believe that masturbating before a date is beneficial to the outcome of the date. So this post examines the pros and cons of pre-date jerking.

Is jilling off before a date a good idea for women?

Here’s an OnlyFans and Instagram model with 32,000+ followers who goes by the name Amber Sweetheart. This is the same Amber Sweetheart who authored the book, The Sexting Bible, and earns £71,000 every month teaching other people how to orgasm online. She says, “I have a legion of boyfriends online and I genuinely love every one of them”

Yes, as a source of attention and income, I presume.

But of course, Amber is not content with having a legion of virtual textors. She needs some real time action with juice in her sluice. Her online work has most certainly led her to view all men (maybe women too) as sex objects, but this becomes a poignant problem when peter is present. The problem is that whenever she goes on a date, she hops on the stud too soon (in her opinion), and then regrets it, apparently.

But fortunately, Amber has discovered a convenient and enjoyable work-around to this problem. If she butters her muffin and jills off before going on a date, then this cools off her hot and bothered baby making engine and puts a damper on her bumper and a flower on her face.

She describes this technique in an article at the Daily Star (Sophie Roberts): ‘I masturbate before dates so I’m not too randy to get to know men properly’ (2021-08-03).

“Not only is it the perfect opportunity for relaxation and self care, it also prevents her from getting too hot under the collar later on in the evening.”

“She can then get to know men properly instead of wanting to jump into bed with them straight away.”

To Amber, “knowing men properly” is a hop, dip, and bump in the park away from the Biblical concept of “know”. Amber says,

“I have been in terrible relationships in the past because physically we were compatible.”

“Now I realise I was just horny at all times.”

“Now, by preventive masturbating I’m able to see what the guy is like and if we can bond well, without the physical aspect of it taking control as much.”

It’s hard to imagine how being “physically compatible” could lead to a terrible relationship, and why skinning the beaver doesn’t drill a hole in the dyke, but the author of the article explains how diddling the cello can sweeten the harmony.

“Masturbating before a date may not be a bad idea – especially as self love can have stress-busting benefits.

This is because your body releases the “love” chemical called oxytocin when you orgasm.

According to healthline, masturbation can also “boost your mood” and “help you to relax”.

And that’s not all.

Dr Earim, Medical Director of wellness platform, healthline, said: “Research and anecdotal reports suggest that sexual stimulation, like masturbation, can: relieve stress and tension, boost your mood, sleep better, improve your sex life by better understanding your wants and needs and so on.”

“Orgasm causes the release of endorphins, which are known to reduce stress and boost confidence.

“Also released is serotonin, which is a known antidepressant.”

Yes, but does fanning the fur make a Meet Cute possible? Not sure she’s innocent enough to qualify!

In conclusion of this section, I want to point out that Amber’s primary motivation for pre-date muff spanking is to maintain control, not only self control, but date control.

Is jacking off before a date a good idea for men?

I’ve heard some men give out advice to the same effect — that jacking off before a date calms a man’s nerves* and increases his confidence around a girl.

However, a lot of people on /r/NoFap report the opposite. That women were more attracted to them as a result of not spanking the monkey.

Other men report that masturbating doesn’t produce relaxation* or mental clarity in men. All it does is temporarily relieve the extreme sexual tension and pressure he’s under every minute of every day of his life. All masturbation does for men is give him some release and take the edge off the crushing pressure.

* I think part of the variance in men’s responses are based on what men mean by “calm and relaxed”. Does it mean a lack of sexual tension, or does it mean he is at peace with himself? Women are attracted to the latter, but not the former.

So it’s hard to take a firm position one way or the other on spanking the monkey prior to a date. It’s a choice each man has to make for himself. However, after considering all the information available in the Manosphere, it can be concluded that men should not apologize for their sexual nature because it is part of who we are. Nervous sexual tension is part of the masculine frame and the dance in navigating an interaction with a woman. If she notices your pants turning into a tent, tell her to take your stiffie as a compliment. Men would be better off to lead with that approach (in a controlled and respectable manner, of course), rather than knocking the edge off, and hopefully that confidence will come across.

Σ Frame Axiom 12: A rock hard stiffie is the greatest compliment a man could ever give to a woman.

Interestingly (and this is a mysterious aspect I don’t completely understand), women seem to be able to detect the reason why a man has a cool cucumber, whether it’s because he’s been sluffing the surplus or inseminating poon, as I described in The Sweet Aroma of Love (2022-2-14). What is the difference that women are picking up on, assuming they don’t know anything about a man’s sex life? Pheromones? Sexual tension? ZFG? If it were just orgasm and release that caused hormonal changes in mood, etc., like RPA suggested, then masturbation should attract women too, but it doesn’t. Compared to fapping, there’s something different about coital sex that induces preselection, and it’s not just body chemistry.

So the generalized answer to the titular question is no, masturbation (for men) does not improve preselection, it only reduces sexual tension and puts the man at ease with himself.

Conclusions

In conclusion, pre-jerking is bad advice for Christian men because it reduces his heart-felt passion and sexual tension. Slorish women want a passionless man because it gives her an edge in the power structure, not necessarily because they are more viscerally attracted to him, and this is not the kind of woman a Christian man should be aiming for. Women express preselection in favor of men who are wanted by other women enough to get laid regularly, not men who squeeze the joystick in a frantic effort to control the game — and women can tell the difference!

If your date is someone like Amber Sweetheart, then slogging the log before the fog sets in might help reduce the visceral temptation and view the interaction more objectively.

OTOH, if a nice nubile girl really likes you, an innocent Christian girl, then your nervous sexual tension combined with the lump in your pants will assure her that your desire is alive and kicking, AND that you’re a “promise keeper”. Wedding bells will chime in 6 weeks (if not sooner)!

Chocolates and flowers are sooo 1940s. Don’t just say you love her — Show her! If a man is so horn dog hot that he loses his grip on his self-control and starts humping up her leg, that’s probably the most poignant way that he can show her how much he loves her. It’s also the best way for him to find out how much she really loves him. She’ll either call 911 or else she’ll go down on both knees to promise her undying love with the caress of her lips around the scepter of his power over her loins. This man magic can’t happen if he’s already slogged the log into flaccid obliviousness.

The difference is recreation vs. procreation. Thou must choose, and choose wisely.

About Jack

Jack is a world traveling artist, skilled in trading ideas and information, none of which are considered too holy, too nerdy, nor too profane to hijack and twist into useful fashion. Sigma Frame Mindsets and methods for building and maintaining a masculine Frame
This entry was posted in Agency, Attraction, Authenticity, Confidence, Conserving Power, Courtship and Marriage, Decision Making, Desire, Desire, Passion, Discernment, Wisdom, Discipline, Female Power, Holding Frame, Inner Game, Internet Dating Sites, Male Power, Masturbation, Moral Agency, Personal Presentation, Power, Psychology, Purity Culture, Purpose, Relationships, Running the Gauntlet, Self-Concept, Self-Control, Sexual Authority, SMV/MMV, Stewardship, Strategy, The Hamster, Vetting Women. Bookmark the permalink.

23 Responses to Does Masturbation improve Preselection?

  1. cameron232 says:

    Ben Stiller did this in the movie, There’s Something About Mary.

    Like

  2. Maniac says:

    Why not? Just make sure you wipe off your ears afterward.

    Like

  3. redpillboomer says:

    “I’ve heard some men give out advice to the same effect — that jacking off before a date calms a man’s nerves and increases his confidence around a girl. In practice, I think it’s true…”

    Never much thought about this. Back-in-the-day, I remember hearing the advice about ‘edging’ before going out on a date, but not ejaculating. The idea was you’d show up with your T-level at it’s highest, and the woman would sense it and like (?) it; of course, the downside is that you’d be incredibly horny and she’d sense it and not like it. Not sure if any of this stuff made any sense or was just the stuff of urban legend, but it was something I heard a long time ago.

    Like

  4. caterpillar345 says:

    Jack — Do you have a list of all the Σ Frame Axioms?

    Like

  5. locustsplease says:

    She wants men to get to know her. So, first question…

    He: What do u do for work?
    She: I’m a sex worker. I posted nude pictures for men online today. […] No, I don’t want to have sex with you or show myself for you today.
    He: (Okay, let me get the he11 out of here.)

    Liked by 2 people

    • redpillboomer says:

      Also, “If you’d like to be a Beta Orbiter of mine as part of my OnlyFans Club, for this much a month, you can have access to me anytime I’m on-line. Send me DMs and everything! We’ll get real close that way! And I promise I won’t let ANYONE call you a Simp in my Fan Club! In fact, I’ll call you my Alpha — short for Alphamatron!”

      Liked by 1 person

    • Jack says:

      I can assume she had been in the habit of choosing ultra cads who were fitting her into their repertoire of plates. I guess she wouldn’t mind being a plate, but what she didn’t like was how her craving for sex made her feel vulnerable and thus used. So she learned to use masturbation to decrease her vulnerability and increase her power. Also, she’s using “no sex” as a way to filter out the most rambunctious cads who would make her feel used. Judging by the fact that she can be this selective, we’re looking at a woman with a huuuge amount of choice in the SMP.

      Like

      • locustsplease says:

        She is probably so horny from posing nude and sex talk all day that she just automatically screws whoever is on that date. But it’s not like she wasn’t going to anyway, career or not. I have to release before a date just to take the edge off and get some clarity.

        Like

      • Jack says:

        LocustsPlease,

        “I have to release before a date just to take the edge off and get some clarity.”

        Huh?!?!? Based on your earlier comments, I had the impression that you couldn’t even get a date???

        Like

      • locustsplease says:

        Jack: years ago.

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Eric Francis Silk says:

    I’m going to venture that a young woman who has grown up in church culture is not going to take a bulge in your pants as a compliment. On the contrary, she’ll probably be offended and think you’re a pervert with a “lust” problem. That’s more consistent with the common (false) teaching that all demonstrations of male sexual desire are evil.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Jack says:

      EFS,
      I’m not so sure that young men would be singled out for making a tent out of their trousers, unless they were bumping their tent pegs into every woman’s ravine.

      You are correct that “male sexual desire is evil” is a false teaching. I’m trying to get closer to the truth of the matter.

      Like

    • caterpillar345 says:

      “On the contrary, she’ll probably be offended and think you’re a pervert with a “lust” problem. That’s more consistent with the common (false) teaching that all demonstrations of male sexual desire are evil.”

      I’d guess this would be the more likely response in a churchian setting!

      However, I agree with Jack’s axiom. Two thoughts: (1) I think a girl who finds the bulging man attractive would take it as a compliment, and (2) if the girl found the bulging man attractive but didn’t like that, it would be a red flag to me that she has hangups about sexuality (potentially both her own and his).

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Jack says:

    It seems all our readers condone the practice of beating the bird before a date, or at least see nothing wrong about it.

    I want to take this discussion a little bit deeper.

    — For men, women get turned on by a guy who’s having sex with other women, but not one who masturbates.
    — For women, it is the opposite. Guys would get turned on by a woman who masturbates, but not one who’s having sex with other men.

    I don’t think masturbation improves preselection because when I was in high school and college, I beat off frequently, but I never noticed any change in women’s behavior towards me. But after I started having sex… Wowzers! I couldn’t get rid of all the women trying to get into my bed! It was like I described in The Sweet Aroma of Love (2022-2-14). So what actually changed that women are picking up on, assuming they don’t know anything about a man’s sex life? If it were just orgasm and release that caused a change in mood, etc., like RPA suggested under this post, then masturbation should attract women too, but it doesn’t. The effects of fapping are limited to the man feeling more relaxed and having more mental clarity. There’s something different about coital sex that induces preselection, and it’s not just body chemistry. That’s what I don’t understand. I can only suspect that it’s a metaphysical phenomenon that is experienced but not understood.

    Like

    • caterpillar345 says:

      I’m not sure I have a firm position one way or the other on spanking the monkey prior to a date. However, my sense after considering a lot that I’ve read in the Manosphere is that I’m not going to apologize for my sexual nature because it is part of who I am. Sharkly left this comment on a post a couple years ago suggesting to tell her to take my stiffie as a compliment. If I have nervous sexual tension, that’s part of the masculine frame and the dance in navigating an interaction with a woman. I think I’d rather lead with that (in a controlled and respectable manner, of course) than knocking the edge off and hopefully that confidence will come across. Perhaps I’ll end up jerkin the gherkin later that night, or perhaps I’ll end up in the situation you describe in the last paragraph of the OP…

      I wouldn’t be surprised if there are cues on the pheromone level that are different (or just non-existent) with jerking off vs. coital sex. I have nothing to prove that however, just a hunch.

      I would also venture to guess that once you started having sex (assuming the first girl was satisfied), word “got around” among her friends or other women, and they knew that you were down to romp (preselection) so they could be less overt about getting your attention (to avoid the social stigma).

      Liked by 1 person

    • thedeti says:

      Ohhh. I see what this whole post was about now.

      Women masturbating is sexy because it signals sexual availability. It signals a woman who wants sex. A woman having sex with other men signals other men have already claimed her and thus she is not sexually available.

      Men masturbating is never sexy because the only reason a man masturbates is because he either cannot or will not get a woman to do it for him. A man who has had sex with other women signals competence, interpersonal acumen, and sexual attractiveness. A man who has had sex feels good about himself, because he’s gotten this basic need satisfied. Now that sex is taken care of, he can go about doing all the other things he wants and needs to do.

      Preselection is a thing because the prime manner in which women evaluate themselves and each other, and the way they confer status on each other in the feminine social matrix, is through the value and caliber of man each woman is able to get and keep. A man who can get many women to sleep with him presents as high value.

      I don’t think masturbating produces relaxation or mental clarity in men. All it does is temporarily relieve the extreme sexual tension and pressure he’s under every minute of every day of his life. All masturbation does for men is give him some release and take the edge off the crushing pressure.

      Liked by 3 people

      • cameron232 says:

        When I was in school masturbation was considered shameful, not for prudish reasons, but because it meant you were a loser who couldn’t get a girl. If you wanted to insult another guy, you’d say that he masturbates.

        Liked by 1 person

    • info says:

      In fact a lot of people on /r/NoFap report the opposite. That women were more attracted to them as a result of not spanking the monkey.

      Like

  8. Jack says:

    This post has been updated to reflect some input from readers and to add conclusions.

    Like

  9. Pingback: The Sweet Aroma of Love | Σ Frame

  10. Pingback: A blinding obsession | Σ Frame

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