The TLDR on Suffering

What is the purpose of suffering?

Readership: All
Theme: Glory
Length: 1,700 words
Reading Time: 8.5 minutes

Introduction

In the last couple posts, it’s been said in many words that Suffering is an intrinsic part of glorifying God. So let’s get down to this.

For thousands of years, there’s been a lot of talk and debate on the whys and wherefores of Suffering.  This is most notable in Christian traditions, but it extends to the secular philosophers as well.

The most common Gnostic argument is that as long as God allows Suffering, then either He is not loving, or He is not omnipotent.  But this is a very solipsistic syllogism that fails to account for the reason why God allows it, and the overall purpose of Suffering.  So it comes off as whiny and complainy, especially to God.

Here, I want to make a clean break away from all the philosophizing of the past about Suffering and lay things out clearly in actionable, transferrable knowledge.

Sources of Suffering

Basically, there are five reasons or sources of suffering, summarized as thus.

1. Suffering as a consequence* of one’s own foolishness, sin, or poor decisions.
2. Suffering as a consequence* of other’s foolishness, sin, or poor decisions.
3. Suffering from persecution for being holy and righteous in a sinful world.  For example, when one is salt and light, it has the unintended effect of putting others to shame, making them envious, making them feel guilty, pressuring them to do better and to be better, and so on.  People detest this, and begin to harass and persecute the righteous in response.
4. Suffering from intense unresolved desires or unmet needs.
5. Suffering as a result of a spiritual awakening in which one gains an increased knowledge of God, human nature, and/or one’s self. For example, Faith, Hope, Joy, Love, and Temptation can all be both a cause and a consequence of suffering.

* The word “consequence” is left open ended, and may include guilt, loneliness, regret, rejection, shame, and many other forms of suffering.

As you can see, 1, 2, and 3 are a consequence of living in a world broken by sin.  Number 4 is a common malady of the human state. Number 5 is a symptom of being spiritually alive.

We can be thankful that God, in His infinite mercy, has limited our human suffering to these five basic sources. (…in this life.  In the next life, there are other types of sufferings awaiting those who reject the grace of God, and I would not reject the idea that there may be sufferings of an entirely different sort in heaven.)

I’ll refer to these five contexts in the following sections.

Purposes of Suffering

The purpose of pain is to inform us that something is wrong with the body.  Similarly, one purpose of suffering is to inform us that something is wrong with our soul.  This is not always the case, but it is rather common.

Suffering also acts as an incentive for us to get our lives together. However, not all suffering is redemptive, depending on how we respond to it. (More on this in the next section.)

Another purpose of suffering is to draw us closer to the Lord. God’s Word and His discipline serves to drive and turn our hearts towards the knowledge of Him. This kind of Suffering is usually characterized by disappointment and grief as we discover that the things of this world cannot satisfy. Whenever we face these trials in life it is best to accept it as the hand of God’s discipline. What is required to draw one nearer to God is dependent on the constitution of the person and the context.  IOW, God deals with us individually as unique patients.

A fourth reason is to share in Christ’s sufferings and also become partakers of the glory and joy found in Him (Philippians 2:12-16).

Moreover, the purposes for suffering are as follows (corresponding with the previous list).

1. To get us to repent of our own foolishness and sin, and/or to emphasize the importance of being responsible and making good decisions.
2. To get us to choose our friends wisely, and to draw boundaries.  It is also an occasion to exercise forgiveness and grow in grace.
3. To glorify God, to share in the sufferings of Christ, and to inspire others to faith.
4. To break our selfish will and sense of self-sufficiency (which erodes humility), teach us to become continually dependent on God, and to bring us to our knees in prayer, asking for those things we want or need.  The asking, suffering, and waiting also makes us more humble and more appreciative of the gift, once it is received.
5. To lead us to desire being liberated from the fallen flesh and the mortal confines of this evil world, and to be one with God.

For the Christian, and in general, suffering appears as a multi-faceted form of discipline (Hebrews 12), and in this sense, suffering is the kindness of God to bring those He loves closer to Him (Romans 2:1-4).  IOW, we move away from 1, 2, and get more of 3 and possibly 4, ultimately arriving at 5. Only 1 and 2 could be interpreted as a punishment, or the righteous judgment of God.  3 is training in righteousness and it builds character (Romans 5:3-5; James 1:2-4).  4 is often referred to as being tempted or tested (James 1:12-18). 5 is evidence of regeneration and/or salvation.

Responses to Suffering

Perhaps the trickiest part of suffering is in knowing how one should respond.  Is it Endure, Fight, Flight, Fold, or Wait?  The proper response all depends on what type of suffering we’re facing and why.  If one cannot pinpoint the reason for the suffering, then one may be confused about how to respond appropriately. Our response is important because if we do not respond appropriately, unnecessary suffering may be prolonged and then becomes more destructive than redemptive.

Here, I’ll offer some commentary and describe a few ways in which we may not respond to suffering appropriately, corresponding to the previous list.  I’m sure there are others.  Readers are encouraged to add to these in the comments.

1. The most common wrong way people deal with the suffering that is caused by 1, and also 2 and 4, is through Spiritual Anesthetization which usually appears as a form of Carnal Stimulation (e.g. alcohol, drugs, entertainment, illicit sex, masturbation, p0rn, etc.).  Other methods include Avoidance, Denial, Displacement, Lying, and a whole host of psychological defense mechanisms (e.g. blame and shame games, personality disorders, projection, psychopathologies, etc.).  It requires a traumatic life experience or an act of God to shake one up and out of this mess, which means more suffering!
2. Number 2 happens to be a major ongoing subject of discussion in the Red Pill / Manosphere, and it is the cause of many fractious factions (e.g. The Black Pill, MGTOW, et al.)  In addition to the consequences of bad governance, inept rulers, p!ss poor policies, various conspiracy theories, and so on, how do men deal with a whole generation (or more) of women who have made foolish decisions and have defrauded men en masse?  The writers at Σ Frame have covered the latter angle exhaustively with posts such as Constructing a Framework of Options (2021/3/15), More on the Framework of Options (2021/3/22), Ethical Issues Surrounding the Christian Conundrum (2021/4/5), The Cross of Our Age (2021/5/3), The Rupture of the Marriage Market Place (2021/7/14), The Young Man’s Problem (2022/2/4), The Unsolvable Problem of The Modern Sexual / Relationship Market (2022/2/7), What is the Black Pill? (2022/9/13), The Black Pill is the Natural Outcome of the Secular Mating Paradigm (2022/9/14), Black Pill Competition (2022/9/15), and Holding Out (2022/12/2).  There is no real solution except more suffering.  However, I proposed a few proper responses to this suffering in Men’s Role in the Mess (2022/12/21).
3. Satan has a very tricky way of sucking the life out of our souls and gradually turning our hearts away from God by convincing us that we’re suffering for the sake of righteousness, when in fact, we’re only suffering for the sake of our self-righteous ego.  Or alternatively, we’ve bought into some insidious true lies and therefore don’t have our heads screwed on straight.  IOW, were suffering for 1 while thinking we’re suffering for 3, so we never get the memo and recognize the pain as discipline or punishment.  One example of this has been described in The Delusion of the Good (2022/8/19) and The Lie of Romantic Love (2023/2/3) in which many Blue Pill fables are mistaken for Christian morality.  Another example is how many proponents of the Purity Movement applied themselves to a lifestyle of self-denial and suffering for sexual purity or “God”, resulting in many of them falling away.  Waking up from these seemingly true lies is another grand mal ordeal of suffering in itself, as was described in The Ever Looming Black Pill (2022/9/12) and Discerning the Lies (2023/2/6).
4. Another context in which we lose out is when we chase after our desires, thinking that we’re going to get something good from God.  This kind of situation has been described in many posts, including Are you a man or a mushroom? (2020/8/17), How to Assume the Missionary Position (2023/1/27), Are Men Responsible for Women’s Behavior? (2023/2/1), Lust (2023/2/10), Why are attractive women more dangerous to beta men than their less attractive friends? (2023/2/13), The Disappointments of Transactional Relationships (2023/2/14), and The D@mning Power of Humility (2023/2/15).  As I described in Contentment (2023/1/16), God gives us the desires of our hearts after a period of obedience, and as Scott has mentioned in the past, it comes at a moment when we least expect it.  So it does us no good to go chasing after it.
5. Any movement closer to God, Obedience, Righteousness, and/or Truth involves some kind of suffering, just as Christ illustrated. Not knowing the difference between one source of suffering and another, not knowing how to respond appropriately, or avoiding suffering altogether, are all unproductive and unregenerative.

The links I included above are just a smidgeon of examples out of the 800+ posts on Σ Frame.  Come to think of it, this whole blog is about how to deal with suffering.

Related

• Σ Frame: The Young Man’s Problem (2022/2/4)
• Σ Frame: The Unsolvable Problem of The Modern Sexual/Relationship Market (2022/2/7)
• Σ Frame: Analysis Paralysis is the Gateway to the Abyss (2022/9/19)
• Σ Frame: The Path to Contentment (2023/1/18)
• Roosh Valizadeh: Why Does God Allow Us To Suffer? (2023/2/15)