A real time case study of a carousel rider.
Readership: All; Men;
Author’s Note: The contents of this series is a summary of journal entries from the dates specified.
Reader’s Note: The theme for the month of August is “Snickerdoodles – Case Studies of Female Failures”. This post is the last of 5 in a series. The beginning of this post picks up where Part 4 left off.
* Proper nouns have been changed to protect the author from the guilty.
Length: 2,500 words
Reading Time: 8 minutes
She Blows It (Wednesday, September 19, 2018)
Rhianna* showed up at our place, wanting to talk about everything that had happened while she was in Bigtown.* She said the Italian guy didn’t want to go out to do anything with her. He didn’t even want to go out to dinner with her. He only wanted to stay in the hotel and he “just wanted sex sex sex” with her, and he also asked her to go out to buy this and that for him.
I wasn’t surprised. She had been stoking his desire all week with all her sexting.
In too many words, Rhianna described how she felt the next morning. In short, she felt gratuitously humbled from the all-night-long Italian job. She expected him to hug her after sex, but he didn’t. Instead, he got up and prepared to go to work. Rhianna must’ve not been humbled enough though, because instead of saying something inviting like “I’m sooo in love with you! I need a hug before you go!”, she turned on the light and brusquely told him, “Why don’t you turn on the light? Come back to bed!” The guy responded in the same spirit, yelling something at her in Italian, so she was very very sad.
She tried calling him all throughout the day while he was at work, and she texted him a bazillion times. Finally, the guy called her and told her that she’s “crazy”, and that she needs to stop it. She texted my wife asking what to do, and she told her to leave him alone. I don’t know if she did or not.
After he got back from work, they had a tense, bitter exchange. Rhianna was sad and angry, hurling various accusations and insults at him, and he wasn’t taking any of it. Even so, they somehow had intercourse again during this time.
Early the next morning, at 3:00 am, the guy got up to work on his own things and Rhianna vehemently and repetitively complained that he was disturbing her sleep. In response, he took his things and went to his workplace very early. He told her he would not be returning to the hotel after work, and that she should be gone hereafter. Heartbroken, she packed her suitcase and returned home.
The Italian guy blocked her the next day. After Rhianna found out, she said she should have dated the American guy instead. We were glad that she finally realized this, but it’s probably too late to make any difference.
I thought this was sad and hilarious at the same time. I mean, she finally had one more chance to have a pleasant intercourse with a man she really wanted, and she blew it with her slavish mouth.
Then she trivialized the entire event, saying it was not serious nor was it important to her. She told my wife that this guy is such an @sshole, and that she doesn’t need a man like him. She also bragged that she can easily set up one or two dates A DAY, and she usually goes home with one or two of them every week. Her point was that she “doesn’t need a man.”
Heh… If she “doesn’t need a man”, then why does she need to date one every day and see more than 3 men every week? If they’re not needed, then why keep so many of them around? The denial is economical! What she really means is that she is addicted to being humbled/defiled by a man, but when it comes down to respect, submission, and doing what would be necessary to nurture a relationship and keep a man around, she would rather dismiss him and resume her elusive fantasies.
I was disgusted with the way she suddenly changed her mind several times and waffled about her purpose for going to meet the man. To briefly recount: After they reestablished contact, she was so excited to have sex with him she was hopping up and down and couldn’t think straight. Then the day before she left, she didn’t want to see him at all. Then when they were together, she wanted to be wined and dined – but without sex (or so she said). Then after she screwed everything up by being contentious, she flippantly dismissed the entire affair as insignificant and meaningless to her.
We told her, “You spend so much time and effort at the gym because you think your sleek thighs are going to make you less sad or change a man’s thoughts about you. Would you make as much effort to cultivate a spirit of kindness and grace within your heart? Would you work on being respectful? Would you change the way you view men to see what is inside their hearts and not just how they make you feel? Would you be willing to change jobs or give up your career to be with a man who was serious about you? Would you be willing to sacrifice all those things you love about yourself for him?”
She gave us the same fluffy response she gave us when we first met, saying she is already “so good”, and “at the top” of her career,“men can’t resist my body”, and that “every man” wants her. She said she “doesn’t need a man” who expects anything different from who she is, or what she wants to give, or who won’t tolerate her bullsħ!t. Her response indicated that she refuses to do anything to make herself valuable to any one man.
My wife responded by saying, “Well then, the next time you come back to talk about Don Juan or text me a lot of things just to complain to us about a guy, I’m going to remind you of what you just said. If you won’t change your mind, then I can only tell you what I told you so many times before. You need to think about what you are offering to a man that he would value so much that he would want to marry you. You have to prepare yourself for the possibility that the men you want might not find you good enough to marry!”
We told her lot of other good things but she didn’t take a word of our advice to change her habits, nor clean up her beliefs about men, nor adjust her behavior to win a man’s heart enough to keep her in a relationship.
Not more than 10 minutes later, she started into it again, this time complaining about a guy from Thailand (?!?).
“I thought an Asian man would treat me better. But Thai men are no different. Men are all alike. They just want sex sex sex!”
“I don’t know where they get these ideas. I am a decent Christian woman.”
And she kept asking my wife, “Why do men only want my body?”
Her denial was on another level! Astronomical denial! This further confirmed my earlier conclusion that it would be useless to counsel her any further. She has already chosen her course in life. She needs to face up to the consequences and learn the error of her ways.
Moving Up (Sunday, September 23, 2018)
A few days after the Italian guy blocked Rhianna for the second time, the Canadian guy contacted Rhianna. Interestingly, the guy told her that he is sick and is in the hospital, and he needs somebody to take care of him. He asked her to go to Bigtown to help him.
After my wife saw this message, she was totally shocked because Rhianna mentioned she is a Sagittarius,* which supposedly means that she is superficial.** So then why would she move to Bigtown to take care of a sick man? If her motivation for doing this is only to play the part of a stuffy schoolmarm who gets an ego kick out of controlling a helpless man, then I feel sorry for the guy. OTOH, we had to wonder if she was experiencing some kind of inner change. Could this could be a genuine act of love and care?
So anyway, I was overjoyed that Rhianna finally took my advice and got herself an apartment in Bigtown. I gave her this advice because it seemed to work out the best for everyone. It would be easier for her to find a job there. It would get her out of our church. She wouldn’t continue to be a negative influence on my wife, and she would be able to pursue the pickawilly lifestyle she adores.
She’s been looking for a job since then. We’re really itching to know why she was suddenly so interested in the Canadian guy, even though he’s ill, but we’ll live with the satisfaction of not being involved with her sordid affairs any longer.
I know the drama will never end!
* Zodiac signs and their associated personality traits are well known folklore in Chinese culture.
**Actually, it’s true. For example, her saying she hates to have sex with men who only want her body is superficial. This statement highlights superficial aspects of the interaction, “men only want her body”, and it is also superficial posing to say so, because she doesn’t actually hate to have sex with those men.
As I mentioned in the first post, Rhianna came to us under the guise of a Christian woman seeking to find a husband. But after talking with her for a while, we realized that this was a lie. Instead, we found that she’s a carousel rider in the final heat who has passed the age of 40 but still hasn’t hit the wall. The way she’s fared quite well in achieving the feminist/Career Life Script has insulated her from the consequences of her life choices.
As our talks wore on, I realized that living out the Feminist Life Script en large is precisely her goal – a goal having the following motivations.
- To live in a world of sexual fantasy.
- To feel that she is the queen sex goddess of that world.
- To attract sexual attention from many hawt men.
- To get repetitive ego trips anytime she can attract the attention of a man, which confirms her sexual authority and her sex queen status.
- To bask in the arrogant satisfaction of being desired and lusted after by many hawt men.
- To entice men, one after the other, until they resort to a feral style of interaction.
- To indulge herself in the luxury of having a constant choice of men, and picking through them at her fancy.
- To be enthralled in the joys of being sexually humbled/defiled on a daily to weekly basis.
Overall, she’s looking to maintain a continual state of ambient sexual energy, but she can’t maintain the inherent intimacy (at least not with only one man for any length of time) for the following reasons.
- She’s older, and well past her prime child-bearing years.
- She is too emotionally immature, solipsistic, self-centered, and demanding.
- She is clueless about the nature of men and doesn’t want to learn.
- She refuses to show appreciation, kindness, nor respect to a man.
- She has an arrogant, condescending attitude towards men. For example, she denigrates male sexual desire as being “dirty”. In fact, her arrogance is in such an advanced state that it’s glorified.
- She doesn’t know how to maintain personal boundaries in a way that nurtures and preserves the relationship.
- She will only date men who are younger than she is, or who are exceedingly successful and wealthy.
- She demands “respect”, which translated, means that she must be allowed to bask in the sunlight of her sex-goddess ego at all times and must never be bothered by any challenge to her personal integrity.
- She is addicted to humility in the form of sexual defilement, and she has an allergic reaction to humility in other forms.
All of these characteristics invariably shoo away high quality, commitment minded men, but she seems to be unaware of this.
Rhianna has a few other issues that serve to enable and/or reinforce all of the above.
- She’s more into fantasy than reality.
- A severe lack of self-control, especially her sexual impulses.
- She is double minded, quickly changing her line of reasoning.
- She doesn’t know what she really wants, nor how to go about handling herself to attain a specific end (e.g. LTR/marriage).
In sum, she’s a train wreck that keeps on a chugging, wreaking havoc, and never comes to a standstill!
So, how can she believe that she is a “respectable Christian lady”? It is apparent that her god is her own sex-goddess self, not Christ. She deserves to be awarded a Ph.D. or professorship in “Imaginary Ego Preservation whilst Navigating Cognitive Dissonance.” (A new major for gender studies?!?)
I was hoping that Scott might comment about her psychological condition, but he hasn’t responded. RedPillBoomer suggested that she is within the Cluster B Personality Disorders in the Diagnostic Statistical Manual-V (DSM-V): Narcissistic, Histrionic, and/or Borderline.
Concerning my wife, Rhianna did have a very negative influence on my wife at the time. But all the while, my wife was very annoyed with her for some reason, and this is what gave me the confidence that my wife would not be swept away into her spirit of debauchery. After we stopped “counseling” her, my wife seemed to be more aware of her own feelings about what Rhianna was doing, and I think it helped her move past whatever residual feelings she had about that. So to summarize, in the fray, it got worse, but in the end, I think it helped my wife mature.
On a more positive note, I used to think my wife had a pretty poor attitude about men in general, but after getting to know Rhianna, I feel rather thankful for my wife because I realized things could be much worse.
Another thing I learned from all of this is that it is pretty much a waste of time to try to help people like Rhianna. They have to hit bottom and be left with no other options before they are able to open their mind to view life a different way.
I’ve written a couple posts about this phenomenon.
Overall, this series reveals why we should exclude fornicators from fellowship and not have anything to do with them (1st Corinthians 5:9-11). We should not even pray for them (Jeremiah 7:16; 11:14; 1st John 5:16).
“Do not associate with any so-called brother if he is a sexually immoral person, or a greedy person, or an idolater, or is verbally abusive, or habitually drunk, or a swindler — do not even eat with such a person.”1st Corinthians 5:11 (NASB)
Meditations on our interactions with Rhianna eventually culminated in a number of posts.
- Σ Frame: Why do Christian women have the reputation of being whores? (2019 February 23)
- Σ Frame: Hitting a glorified nerve at Patheos (2019 March 4)
- Σ Frame: Christian vs. Non-Christian Women – A Negligeeable Difference (2019 March 20)
- Σ Frame: What is glorification? (2019 March 23)