What western culture teaches young women to do with their lives.
Authorship: Recently, Deti submitted a comment describing the Feminist Life Script rather succinctly. Recognizing the value of this comment, I invited him to be a contributing author, but he declined for reasons unstated. So, I have taken the liberty to revise Deti’s comment and make a post out of it for our reference.
Origin of the terms: To the best of my knowledge, Dalrock was the first to use the term Feminist Life Script and describe it in his posts, A very long season (part 1). (2017 July 3), and (part 2) (2017 July 10). He also coined the term, Sticking the Landing, which refers to the ability of women to enter into marriage after a decade or so of postpornication.
Why are a woman’s solipsistic dreams so much more important than submitting to a fantastic man who loves her? Not even sexual bonding is enough to get her to tune into her God ordained purpose as a woman? WTH??? And no matter how good her life might be, fantasy land will always be “better”.
Elspeth is correct that it is the parents’ fault. It’s also the ambient feminism that everyone swims in. Modern Western culture IS feminism. Everyone and everything is feminist. Even Christian women are feminists who are against abortion.
All women, and I mean ALL women, born after about 1960 are marinated in feminism and are feminists. All women in the US over the age of 25 are feminists, and I don’t care what anyone says to the contrary because it’s not true. EVERY man who has gotten married in the last 40 years married a feminist.
The Cultural Narrative
Young women and daughters are repeatedly saturated with the overarching dominant cultural narrative which undergirds the Life Script, which is basically this:
You can’t ever depend on a man and you can’t ever trust a man. Think about the D’s: Divorce, death, disability. What if he leaves you, cheats on you, dies on you, or becomes a cripple?
You need a career so you can stand on your own two feet if you have to. You need college. You need job training. You need to earn your own money. You need to compete on equal footing with men.
You are equal to men in every way, you can do anything a man can do. You don’t have to take any crap from a man and you sure as hell don’t have to “submit” to him. Any man you marry will be a completely 50/50 equal partner with you and you MUST insist on that.”
You are sexually liberated in the meantime before you get married. If you’re a Christian, then it’s not really OK to have premarital sex, but you’re going to anyway, so just make sure that if you do, you do it with men you love or at least like a lot. Or, if you’re a non-Christian, you can have all the sex you want with as many different men as you want and there will still be hot, attractive, resources-rich men waiting for you when you’re done with that.”
The Ideal Life Script
This cultural narrative leads young women to believe that the Feminist Life Script is the most reasonable and optimal approach to living. This Life Script comes in two phases, (1) Season of Singleness, and (2) Sticking the Landing. These phases are entailed as follows.
Life Script Phase 1: Season of Singleness
All her friends and every woman she knows around her age are doing these things.
Higher Education – At the least, get a bachelor’s degree or extensive job training. Earning a master’s or Ph.D. degree will put you on top.
Friends / Sex and the City Lifestyle – Move to a population center, get a job, and live alone or with roommates who are doing the same thing you’re doing.
Career comes First – Keep working. Advance in career, become competent or even proficient. Change jobs if necessary.
Have fun. Make some frivolous purchases like $800 Louis Vuitton handbags.
Travel to fun and exotic tropical destinations.
Sexual Liberation – During all of the above, you are dating both for fun and in the hopes of meeting a marriageable man. You are having sex with most of those men. Some are false starts. Some are short term, no more than 3-6 months. Some are long term.
Again, all her friends and every woman she knows around her age are doing this.
Life Script Phase 2: Sticking the Landing
It is alleged by some that many, even most, women meet the man they will marry by age 23, which is an appropriate age for a woman to marry. But marriage is postponed in order to fulfill all the goals of Phase 1, which takes her out to at least age 25. The reported average age from relationship start to marriage is 4.9 years. As a result, the female’s average age at first marriage is now 28 and creeping upwards.
So here is where Phase 2 begins.
Marriage – Meet the man who she will marry. Get married in an equal partnership marriage.
Children – Have one child, at most two.
Continue Working – The options are to stay home, work part time/flex time, or continue full time. But even if she should choose to quit working and stay at home, she must never think degradingly of herself as a Stay at Home Mom and/or Housewife.
Husband does the Nesting – In addition to working full time, her husband also works and does significant chores around the house in order to take the stress off her, as he’s expected to do, because she is his “equal” in every other significant way.
Direct the Nesting – It’s not her job to do most of the housework and child rearing. She is busy working at her career and should only have to do half of the housework. The husband is to do the other half. She decides what he needs to do, and how it should be done.
Life Script Phase 3: Frivorce with Kids, Cash, and Prizes
Phase 3 is fully optional, but about half of all women who make it to Phase 2 will proceed to Phase 3. Part of the reason is because there is a glut of western jurisprudence which lays out tried and true paths to Phase 3 (with the help of a divorce lawyer), such as Divorce Theft, No Fault Divorce, the Duluth model, and the Tender Years Doctrine. All this legislation supports the goals of Feminism in undermining Headship, and Empowers™ those women who wish to continue chasing after any of the original dreams promised by the Cultural Narrative (above) which were not fulfilled during either Phase 1 or 2. Consequently, the average duration of marriage in the U.S. is only 8 years.
The reason why a woman’s solipsistic dreams are more important than submitting to a fantastic man who loves her are laid out as follows.
- Her “dreams” (or, her life survival) predominate over marriage and everything else until she’s at least in her early to mid-20s. During the time when she’s most attractive and most able to secure “a fantastic man who loves her”, she is spending that time getting educated and job trained so she can do what mom and dad and everyone else told her – Don’t ever be in a position where you have to depend on a man! Instead of looking for a man to take care of her survival, she’s doing it herself and not nearly as well as a man can.
- She’s entitled to “have fun” before she gets married. Travel, make and spend money. Date (i.e. have sex with) attractive men and hope that maybe one will commit. Of course, Dating = Sex. (The word dating is used as a polite euphemism for illicit sex.) Everyone is doing this. Your parents, church and pastors usually know this but look the other way.
- The way to find a husband is to find attractive men, have sex with them within 3 dates, and then find out if there’s enough “compatibility” there to keep dating. Then hopefully you get exclusive. Then hopefully, when everything is “right”, you get married. Here “right” means EVERYTHING must be in place: His career, her career, sufficient money, a decent place to live, and plentiful access to transportation and culture. She must also be
jadedsatisfied that she has acquired enough “life experience” necessary to satisfy her YOLO needs and FOMO fears, and she must do this before she agrees to marriage.
- Submission is almost completely omitted from the narrative. Women are not to submit to men. A woman dating a man is not to take the submissive position. A wife is not to submit to her husband, or if she does, she submits only when she wants to and only when she approves of the husband’s conduct. She has everyone’s permission and approval to approach men and marriage this way – even from her church and her pastors, and certainly from her mother, and almost always from her father (if she has one). Absolutely no one will tell her she is to submit to her husband “in all things, as unto the Lord” – not even her church, not even her pastors. Submission to a man equals dependence on him, and remember – whatever the cost, she cannot be in a position where she has to depend on a man.
All women are doing this. Including Christian women. We know this because the church has now been almost completely converged and subsumed into the ambient dominant feminist culture.
- Σ Frame: The 10 Commandments of Feminism (2018 June 5)
- Σ Frame: Patheological Weddingsday – When wanton treachery brings shame, not honor. (2020 October 14)