Carousel Widow in Decline – Part 1

A Case Study of a Carousel Rider in Regression.

Readership: All; Men;
Author’s Note: The contents of this series is a summary of journal entries from the dates specified.
Reader’s Note: The theme for the month of August is “Snickerdoodles – Case Studies of Female Failures”. This post is installment 1 of a series.
* Proper nouns have been changed to protect the author from the guilty.
Length: 2,000 words
Reading Time: 7 minutes

An aging Carousel Rider seeks counsel in how to find a husband (Sunday, August 19, 2018)

Rhianna* is 41 and has an MBA from Mediocre State University*. She worked abroad for a decade, but she’s been out of work for a year and is now living with her parents. She also wants to get married and have a child. She is very frustrated about her life situation. Earlier this week, she contacted my wife seeking counseling and advice.

Over a series of text exchanges during the past few days, we got to know Rhianna’s personality and problems better. My wife and I thought I should join their conversation in order to give Rhianna a better concept about men’s viewpoints, and Rhianna agreed with this plan. So, Rhianna* came to our place of business (POB) today to meet with my wife, and I joined their discussion.

At first, we presumed that since she is an unmarried, regular church-going Christian, then she was not sexually active. So we thought that she must be inadvertently saying or doing something that gave men the idea that she was easy and not marriage material. So we focused on trying to identify what that might be.

But as the discussion wore on, we gradually learned that she has a prolific sex life.

Cognitive Dissonance

She had already told my wife about her previous relationship in their text exchange, so we started from there. So my wife and I were kind of like questioning her about her relationship habits and sexual desires, without appearing too rudely obvious.

We found that Rhianna only dates foreign guys. I asked her if she only wanted to marry a foreign guy. She said, “No, I don’t really care. It’s not just [guys with western] eyes that I like. I just want to find someone who loves me.”

I said, “OK, so why do you only want to date this certain type of man?”

She replied, “I am sad because… I want to emigrate somewhere and…”

Unrequited desire and discontentment is a bad combination, but more than that, I could see she was not really settled in her mind, or… she was not being very honest with us.

As we got to know her better, we discovered that she doesn’t just date foreign guys intermittently in her search for a husband. No, she dates a lot of foreign guys! She keeps a long list of guys she met from online dating sites, and she sees at least one guy every day, and sometimes up to four guys a day!!! Every weekend, she’ll pick out the best one (or two) of the bunch and ride him hard all weekend. Every once in a while, she’ll screw a date (or two) on a weekday, usually whenever she’s had a stressful day, and the daily d!ck happens to pique her fanny.

To top it off, she said men only want her body, but she’s a “decent woman” who just wants to “fall in love” and get married.

I noticed that she did have a pretty nice body (long hair, slender, fit). She obviously spent time working out at the (hotel) gym. She dressed attractively, but her face is showing her age – badly.

We asked her what her qualifications are, for going out on a date with a man. She told us, “I don’t like dating. There’s only one man out there for me. I cannot fly to any foreign country, because I must take care of my parents, and not let them worry about me.”

So another issue is that she can’t decide whether to go live abroad or stay and take care of her parents.

She doesn’t like dating?!?  Salami!!!

An Ugly Mouth

Worst of all, her big mouth was her most unattractive feature – by far!

She bragged about herself saying she is “so good”, and “at the top” of her career. She enjoyed giving us a long swarthy monologue about her (previous) position as a boss. She even got a swelling ego validation when we agreed with her capability by pointing out how bossy she is.

She made several statements that expressed her poor attitude toward men. She proudly said that “men can’t resist my body”, and that “every man” wants to have sex with her. At the same time, she condemned male desire with a breathy smirk as being “sooo dirty”, but nevertheless, it was obvious that she enthusiastically received this attention as validation. Obviously she likes sex, and is only saying that male desire is “dirty”, as a form of guilt management and ego preservation.

So it was just as I suspected from reading her previous texts to my wife. Her biggest problems concerning her challenge in bagging a man was her overwhelming pride, her disrespectful attitude towards men in general, her past history, and her cognitive dissonance concerning sexual relations. So in fact, she has a number of major stumbling blocks holding her back in her search for a husband.

Concerning her search for a husband, I told her that maybe 20 years ago she had a good shot at finding a decent man and getting married, but her arrogant mouth and her argumentative nature has long since scared all the marriage minded men away. She was probably so self-absorbed in her career and her sex life that she didn’t even notice.

Concerning her self-professed impact on men’s sexual desire, I told her that there’s nothing special about that, because few men can resist having sex. She might just be getting a lot of attention because she makes her receptacle available.

Concerning her attitude, I told her that women will throw men away for bad (i.e. non Tingle inducing) sex, but men are quite tolerant in that area, until it comes to withholding sex altogether. Instead, men throw women away because they are a disrespectful b!tch.

She responded to these statements with looks of shock, indignation, and confusion, but she said nothing in response.

I thought about explaining to her how men view a woman with a high N count – good for a shag, but a very bad choice for marriage. But I decided to hold that tidbit of information off for a later date. I’ve already laid more on her than what she could handle.

After that, I left my wife to continue on with their discussion.

The Fork Incident (Saturday, August 25, 2018)

Rhianna* came to meet me and my wife around 2:30 pm, and our talk started out on a positive note. I decided to try teaching her how to respect a man, and she was quite eager to learn some tips from me, thinking that it would improve her love life. So during our discussion, I told her that I would tap a fork on the plate whenever I felt like she was being inappropriate or disrespectful.

I also made it into a running joke by making comments like,

“No, you forked it up again…”

“Look! You keep getting forked!”

“You really enjoy forking around, don’t you?”

I had hoped she might lighten up and laugh, or that she might even get into the spirit of the game by responding with similar statements, like,

“Stop forking with me!”

“Fork off!”

But no. She was way too serious. I thought maybe my wife was giving her stress.

At first, the fork tapping technique seemed to work well towards her enlightenment. But after I had talked for about 5 minutes about how important it is for a woman to show respect to a man, she interrupted me by asking my wife why men treat her so badly. I tapped the fork, and when I had regained her attention, I pointed out that she had interrupted me. Then I asked her, “Can you tell me anything of what I just said?”

She just sat there with a blank stare on her face and flashed me an impertinent gaze. She could not remember anything I said, just moments earlier! After a moment of silence, I said,

“See, this is exactly what I am talking about. You asked us for help. I am giving you some honest male feedback, and I want to get some honest feedback from you too. But I just spent the last 5 minutes answering the question that you just asked my wife when you interrupted me. Then you can’t even tell me one thing I said. You obviously weren’t listening to me. It seems like you don’t really care about what I have to say. This is the kind of disrespect that is making men reject you.”

Rhianna became uncomfortable and fidgety, and my wife became very anxious as well. I think the immediate, real-time, feedback loop on her behavior made her self-conscious, and this sparked some introspection, which of course, is anathema to the solipsistic ego.

The Herd Mentality Rulz

Unfortunately, my wife was not inert to her influence, following the herd mentality. After only a few minutes of talking with Rhianna, my wife was becoming arrogant, irritated, and disrespectful, just like her. But I also noticed, that at about the same time that my wife started to fly off the handle, Rhianna started to pick up on what I was talking about, and she started weeping.

The exact timing of their exchange of demeanor made me believe that Rhianna was afflicted by an evil spirit that did not give her a reprieve until it jumped off of her and onto my wife.

After this, my wife started to mirror Rhianna’s attitude by making crude references to male sex drive in the same dismissive manner. This struck me as being really ugly and improper, and I started tapping the fork in response to their talk. Then my wife lost her cool, and started scolding me, saying it was disrespectful of me to tap the fork while she was talking. I tapped the fork again, and told her she was scolding me. Then she flew into an irate tirade while I sat quietly, sighed heavily, and listened with a bored look on my face.

I did not fork either one of them again after that, because I felt that they had gotten the point, and were experiencing some conviction about that. Rhianna was crying, and I could feel the conviction fall over my wife.

Our exercise in fork tapping only lasted about 10 minutes, and I don’t think more than 40 seconds went by without me tapping the fork in response to her impudence. Pretty pathetic.

After an awkward moment of silence, my wife continued on with her talk. A lot of what she said was a description of her convictions about our relationship, but she did not own it by including our names. After a few more minutes, they started talking in Chinese. I took this as a clue that they had had enough of me, so I made a silent departure. I knew I had literally embarrassed the he11 out of the both of them, so it was better to give them some time out, and let it sink in.

My wife continued to talk with Rhianna almost 5 hours, while I finished up some odd repair jobs around the house. Afterwards my wife was in her quiet, guilty mode. We had a long talk about the visit today, and I was pleased to know that she had learned some things from this interaction.

Upon reflection, I saw that it was hard to make my point evident to Rhianna, and when I did, it came at some cost to myself (in the form of my wife’s fractiousness). I had a prayer and asked God if it was a waste of time to minister to people like her. I felt like it’s an impossible task to speak to women about their past sexual sin and prod them towards repentance.

Related

Meditations on the experiences described above eventually culminated in a slew of posts.

About Jack

Jack is a world traveling artist, skilled in trading ideas and information, none of which are considered too holy, too nerdy, nor too profane to hijack and twist into useful fashion. Sigma Frame Mindsets and methods for building and maintaining a masculine Frame
This entry was posted in Addictions, Attraction, Boundaries, Choosing a Partner or Spouse, Discerning Lies and Deception, Discernment, Wisdom, Discipline, Disorders, Female Power, Feminism, Hamsterbation, Holding Frame, Introspection, Leadership, Male Power, Models of Failure, Moral Agency, Personal Presentation, Polysexuality, Respect, Running the Gauntlet, Sanctification & Defilement, Sexual Authority, SMV/MMV, Solipsism, Taiwan, Vetting Women. Bookmark the permalink.

29 Responses to Carousel Widow in Decline – Part 1

  1. anonymous_ng says:

    This story reads like fiction, but also like real life. The cluelessness of the woman in the story remind me of my ex-wife.

    Here’s a story from a couple of years post divorce which also illustrates why marriage counseling was a failure. The kids asked me to talk to their mother about something she was doing.

    Me: The kids asked me to talk to you about this thing you do. It bothers them. Could you please stop.
    Her: You do it too!
    Me: I’m a big meanie, but we’re not talking about me. The kids would like you to stop doing this thing. It bothers them.
    Her: I’m a horrible mother.
    Me: You’re not a horrible mother, but the kids are bothered by this thing you do, and wish you’d stop.
    Her: Fine.

    I’m pretty sure nothing really changed.

    Like

    • anonymous_ng says:

      So, it’s been three years since this story. Jack, what happened?

      Like

      • Jack says:

        Anonymous_ng,
        In addition to my all-time job, I have a lot of activities, studies, and writings in the works. I selected a few topics from my notes that fit the theme for this month, and concentrated on rewriting them as a blog post.

        Like

  2. thedeti says:

    “Rhianna is 41 and has an MBA from Mediocre State University. She worked abroad for a decade, but she’s been out of work for a year and is now living with her parents. She also wants to get married and have a child…”

    Whut? 41? Wants to have a child?

    I already have a headache. That’s the problem right there.

    Everything else can be fixed or dealt with. This needs to be discarded as the ridiculousness that it is. Rhianna can probably marry, as long as she’s OK with a divorced guy paying half his income in alimony and child support, and is OK with working full time to support a husband and being a stepmother. But, um… a child? No. Not going to happen. Give that up, Rhianna. Maybe too many blows to the head from her prior boyfriend Chris.

    Liked by 1 person

    • redpillboomer says:

      “Whut? 41? Wants to have a child?…I already have a headache. That’s the problem right there…Everything else can be fixed or dealt with. This needs to be discarded as the ridiculousness that it is.”

      Got that beat. I know a woman from a few years back, who was 43 at the time. I was not red pilled then, but even in my blue pillness, I knew something was off with her, and her views concerning relationships. She had a good paying job, owned her own home, and drove an expensive SUV. She’d never been married. The first time I was over at her house for a work related function, it struck me that this place looks like it is set up for a family to inhabit, not a single woman.

      I found out she had a boyfriend who she was hoping would ‘get to marry her.’ Okay that made sense. The first time I saw him I thought, “Good looking guy, tall and fairly well built. Looks like a catch.” Then I found out he was 33, ten years younger than her, divorced, and had a daughter. Later I found out from the grapevine he was quite the player. Besides the woman I knew, he had several in his rotation, AND I found out later, she knew all of this.

      Here’s the red flag of the red flags with her. She wanted to start a family with him, and she was planning to have FOUR kids. I remember asking her, “You mean adopt four children?” No, she meant having her OWN kids with him. I further remember gently probing around that CRAZINESS to see if there was any possible way of getting her to adjust her views a bit, maybe get married and adopt a child. No way! She stood her ground. I thought, “This lady, who’s good with her professional life, is bat sh!t crazy when it came to her personal life and relationships.”

      I now know, using our red pill vernacular, that she was a former CC rider with a high N-count to include married men as well as single guys.

      The player ended up dumping her when she tried to get him to commit, no surprise there. But, the thing I remember the most to this day is me being unable to get her to at least consider altering her views to align more with reality and was unable to get her to shift them. Even with my blue pill mindset and cultural conditioning to believe for women that they “can have anything they want if they envision it and really go for it;” I still wanted her to get a grip on her reality. “You’re 43 and that having children ship sailed a long time ago, how about something more realistic?” Since becoming red pilled, I now realize she is not the only forty something woman out there that operates under delusions about her biological reality. We’ve got a growing number of them out there, and it will only get worse the way things are going.

      Like

      • locustsplease says:

        I have worked with a couple homeless drifters who would work for a year or two live in a tent save every dollar then hit the road and not work for years. We were working on a million plus estate brick house with pond and horses building a garage with heated floor. The guy said this is just the kind of place i want a nice heated floor shop to work on cars and a nice acerage. I asked him what he thought the place was worth he said 300k. Uh no 1.2-1.5 mill the property taxes are your whole income.

        I will say this though those guys were living the dream but totally out of touch with reality.

        Like

      • redpillboomer says:

        I know. The things you and I wrote about above, seem totally tongue-in-cheek, but they were real. Yes, they were extreme examples, outliers if you will, however I’ve increasingly noticed in the area of relationships, that women’s standards as they get older, can be in the realm of the delusional, just not as far out as the 43 year old I knew.

        I don’t know how many Manospherian clips I’ve listened to of some thirty something female still having standards for men that are no longer applicable to them now that they have accumulated all that baggage from their twenties. I’ve listened to so many clips where well known content creators in the red pill world — Kevin Samuels, Tom Leykis, etc. — are unable to move these women off their delusion. Thirty-five year old women with children from baby daddies still thinking they should be entitled to a ‘high value man’ because, well just because they should be.

        Like

  3. feeriker says:

    “At first, we presumed that since she is an unmarried, regular church-going Christian…”

    I do hope, Jack, that you discarded this label for “Rhianna” after your talks with her and replaced it with “churchian.” I’m sure that what followed your introduction made this an easy move.

    Honestly, there’s no point in attempting to salvage women like this one in terms of Christian Red Pill awareness. Were she truly born again in Christ, she would have come to terms with her sinful past, stopped practicing it, and focused on serving Christ, trusting the Lord to give her strength in coping with her sinful desires and praying constantly for His power to cleanse her of her old ways — to include her solipsistic arrogance and condescending attitudes toward men. That her words and behavior reflected no such changes means that she was never born again, and thus any instruction in Christ-centered intersexual relationships were bound to be rejected by the evil spirit (as you pointed out) that still controlled her.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Femmy says:

    Sounds like the “modern woman” that Kevin Samuels constantly attacks and tries to hit them over the head with their awful decisions.

    Has anyone seen his videos?

    “Rhianna” should watch his videos. She will realize how she screwed up her life and is entering ‘no man’s land’.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Red Pill Apostle says:

      Femmy – I have seen a few of his shorter videos where women call in for advice or to disagree. It’s the same thing over and over again. You can sum up most of his interviews with women this way. He explains to women that arguing and complaining are unattractive to high value men (those with options). The women then complain and argue with him on various statements trying to convince him and themselves they deserve a relationship with a high value man. Predictable hilarity ensues.

      Liked by 1 person

    • thedeti says:

      I’ve seen and listened to Samuels’ videos, including the longer podcasts. You think the women of the sphere are bad? He focuses on black women. Mostly obese baby mamas who honestly think they’re “8s” comparable to Beyonce or Kelly Rowland. They really do believe they’re entitled to “high value men” (i.e. earns 6 figures for at least 5 consecutive years, has a “LinkedIn” level job like physician, lawyer, investment banking, etc; has a network of high value men, and is valuable to himself and his network). These obese baby mamas really do think this. Or at least act like it.

      I can’t tell if his show is a massive troll job, if he’s trolling his viewers, or if his callers are trolling him. It is, in the words of the inimitable Rush Limbaugh, an “endless parade of human debris”.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Lastmod says:

      He’s a pretty interesting man. Love his style. This man can pull of dress, casual and in-between effortlessly.

      I think some of his callers are trying to do the “gotcha” on him….. It won’t be long until the “I bet you hate your momma!” and “Sellout!” are tossed at him with much more frequency, and people begin showing up at his house “wanting to talk to him” (threats of violence).

      I still watch Tommy Sotomayor, and Willie Williams (got on the air during his live stream once).

      I was voted in high school “Mostly Likely To Host A Talk Show” because of my contrarian ways even back then. I would just take the opposite stance in class… even if I didn’t agree with it to see people’s reaction. Usually people got violent / aggressive very quickly.

      There is still a part of me this wishes I was Jeremy Kyle. If I was born with this proper accent I would be much further ahead than I am now

      Like

  5. bee123456 says:

    “She even got a swelling ego validation when we agreed with her capability by pointing out how bossy she is.”

    Very clever writing!

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Adam says:

    She sounds like a keeper.

    Like

  7. Ed Hurst says:

    You touched on the idea of demonic oppression in Rhianna. That’s a heavy subject that of raises all kinds of wild mythology among Western Christians, and I usually reserve that discussion for an advanced audience. Still, that’s the first thing I thought of when you began to describe how intractable the woman was. It’s the greatest danger counselors face, since demons prefer to attack back the way you described with your wife.

    Liked by 2 people

    • lastholdout says:

      “. . . demons prefer to attack back the way you described with your wife.”

      I think we’ve all seen that from our wives at one time or another . . . more often from some. Knowing that it is a spiritual battle can be daunting. Of course, it is necessary to lean on Scripture for strength and wisdom.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. lastholdout says:

    “Unfortunately, my wife was not inert to her influence, following the herd mentality. After only a few minutes of talking with Rhianna, my wife was becoming arrogant, irritated, and disrespectful, just like her. But I also noticed, that at about the same time that my wife started to fly off the handle . . .”

    As the head of the relationship, the man is to help his wife avoid the error to which she is predisposed. Namely, her inclination to follow Satan’s deceptions and to do his bidding by rationalizing the choices she makes that oppose her husband, or even God. Eve rationalized eating the forbidden fruit. Genesis 3:6 calls out her three reasons for taking and eating it:

    “When the woman saw that the tree was good for food, that it was pleasing to the eyes and a tree desirable to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate; and she gave to her husband with her, and he ate.”

    Women today are susceptible to the same temptations and rationalization. Of course, feminism has taken this to a new level by claiming abortion as their right to control their own bodies. On the same spectrum, a woman can rationalize why her husband is not deserving of his headship and, thus, her submission. Regardless of the example, such reasoning stems from the great deceiver. Like Eve, women today are also predisposed to taking in Satan’s lies. Paul explicitly cites this in his letter to Timothy:

    “And Adam was not deceived, but the woman, being deceived, fell into sin…” (1 Tim. 2:14).

    And just as God faulted Adam for listening to his wife, He gave the husband the position and authority to help protect his wife from Satan’s lies. As the head (the center of reason), that is part of his headship—to resist listening to his wife’s improper rationalizations and correct her when she crosses the threshold of deception.

    Like

  9. Femmy says:

    Yes. Exactly.

    Also, modern woman was taught by mothers and female college professors to dis husbands/all men, in any discussions with them.

    To argue back , within their thoughts.

    This was taught us as “right” thinking.

    It is now automatic.

    So when his wife started to agree with that unmarried modern woman, she fell into a sympathetic feeling that made her believe she was “right “, and automatically, her husband was “wrong “.

    The sympathetic feelings also came from the feeling of being “attacked” (a non-Biblical perspective).

    If a woman is truly Biblical, she would react totally differently.

    Liked by 2 people

  10. feeriker says:

    “Also, modern woman was taught by mothers and fema1e college professors to dis husbands/all men, in any discussions with them.

    To argue back , within their thoughts.

    This was taught us as “right” thinking.”

    And remember: many of the women who taught this rebelliousness to their daughters/young girls in their charge were (self-described) Christians who knew that what they were doing was sinful, but they didn’t care and did it anyway. These women apparently believed that God is like the typical human husband, a shrinking violet in the face of her wrath who didn’t dare stand up to her rage and demands. That had to be the case, because, y’know, God didn’t strike her dead or otherwise punish her for her disobedience, right?

    They didn’t realize, or more likely, just chose to ignore the fact that God doesn’t work in the way humans expect Him to work, and that while He is slow to anger, His punishment for unrepentant sinners is unlike anything humanly imaginable — and that, unlike human men in positions of authority or influence, He doesn’t give p***y passes to unrepentant female sinners.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Femmy says:

      Yes.

      Hmm. I wonder if all these Christian moms are mad at God…because He doesn’t do things their way.

      And then get mad at their fathers and husbands too. Because God doesn’t listen!

      A great feeling powerlessness?

      Which makes them frustrated?

      Being mad at everything.

      I see it now.

      Anything but Biblical.

      Hah!

      Like

      • feeriker says:

        Hmm. I wonder if all these Christian moms are mad at God…because He doesn’t do things their way.

        Of course.

        And then get mad at their fathers and husbands too. Because God doesn’t listen!

        They can get as angry as they want to with God, but they can’t do anything to hurt Him as a form of revenge, so they take their rage and frustration out on the nearest male authority figure, which in their minds is a proxy for God. That’s usually either their fathers or their husbands. In the case of divorced train wrecks who don’t have living fathers and whose ex-husbands aren’t conveniently nearby, a son will serve as a convenient target if no other male relative is available.

        Liked by 1 person

  11. cameron232 says:

    She’s 41. Very good chance she can’t give you children.

    Why?

    Like

    • feeriker says:

      “She’s 41. Very good chance she can’t give you children.”

      I stumbled across a forum a couple of years ago in which some anonymous guy “shared,” at great and graphic length with whomever was unfortunate enough to step in his literary droppings, that he had powerful fantasies of impregnating an “older woman.” I cannot imagine what induces such a fantasy, but it would seem that, unless he was a hideous loser, there is a whole society out there full of women as sick as he is who would gladly let him indulge his fantasy.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Oscar says:

        There was even a “reality” show about that.

        A bunch of “amazing men” get to publicly humiliate themselves for the opportunity of “starting a family” with a 41-year-old CC rider who – in her words – “aged out of the dating market”.

        I guess some men will do just about anything for their 15 minutes.

        Bonus: listen to the lyrics of the song at the end of the video.

        Like

  12. Pingback: Carousel Widow in Decline – Part 5 | Σ Frame

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