Carousel Widow in Decline – Part 3

A Case Study of a Carousel Rider in Regression.

Readership: All; Men;
Author’s Note: The contents of this series is a summary taken from my personal journal.
Reader’s Note: The theme for the month of August is “Snickerdoodles – Case Studies of Female Failures”. This post is installment 3 of a series.
* Proper nouns have been changed to protect the author from the guilty.
Length: 2,300 words
Reading Time: 8 minutes

The Amiable American

Rhianna* met an American guy online. She told my wife she didn’t have any goofy impression about us or about any other American guys or American girls in her contacts, so she wanted to go see him.

As soon as they first met, he said to her, “I am so hot under the collar! I really want to hug you and kiss you!”

She rolled her eyes, indicating that she thought this was goofy, and she smugly said, “I didn’t really want to do it, but I did it anyway.” But then her expression shifted to feeling really proud of herself. Her expression lit up and she told us, “See I told you! All the men get a crush on me just after one sight of my body!”

My wife was confused because she initially thought Rhianna told her all these details because she was unhappy. But in fact, through the discussion, my wife found out she was quite excited about the whole affair, and she just wanted to brag about herself.

Rhianna told us the American guy touched his finger tips to Rhianna’s fingers while he was talking to try to make her concentrate on what he was saying. He also embraced her around the waist while they were walking around in public. These gestures touched her heart somehow, so when he invited her back to his apartment and asked her to have sex, she agreed. This happened on their first date.

We asked her, “Why don’t you say no?”

My wife was somewhat surprised when she replied just as I had predicted – that she doesn’t really feel anything that happens is wrong, or “too far” past her boundaries, so naturally, things eventually progress to the bedroom.

Rhianna made one statement that made my wife believe she was more interested in sex than anything else. Rhianna said she can always know the exact moment the man “gets hard” / “toughens up” / “grows firm” for her, meaning that his masculine virility and confidence show through, but it could also imply the state of his rod. (I don’t know of a direct translation.) She said after that moment, the men always became more confident and strong, but also more agreeable and compliant. She said when this happens, “I know I can have [sex with] him if I want…”, so it obviously gives her confidence/ego a kick. I found it interesting to learn that she doesn’t need to be in a private setting with a man for this realization/connection to kick in. Apparently it happens perchance, even when they’re fully clothed or out in public.

No matter who she was talking about, the American, the Australian, the Canadian, the French guy, the four German guys… she always talked about this moment of realization like it was the main climax of her story, and whenever she came to this part of her stories, she became so proud as ħɘ11 of herself, breathing heartily, swinging her shoulders, and tossing her hair.

After hearing and seeing all this, I was also convinced that Rhianna was more interested in sex than anything else, but not the act of sex itself, per se. She wanted to feel the power of her own sexual authority over men and get herself off on that, and she didn’t really care what she had to do to make that happen, or even what particular man she was with. She also didn’t care about the consequences, and she had no idea about how to take responsibility for that desire, nor how to nurture it into something that would last.

The day after their first date, in a few messages online, the American guy posed some serious questions to her about a lot of things. The questions about her past seemed to make her self-conscious and anxious, and so she thought the American guy judged her seriously. The Hamster started turning and she told us with a smirk that this American guy is so stupid and arrogant. (More Psychological Projection) Then she proudly showed us a picture of him.

Being an American myself, I recognized him as a regular happy-go-lucky guy, probably of Irish descent and of Southern origins, and probably not a bad choice for her to marry (if she was really serious about that) – but I didn’t like the way she dismissed his questions as being judgmental, and her calling him stupid. I wanted to start banging my fork in protest, but I didn’t have one on hand. I had the impression that she is more of a predator than a potential victim of being “used” by such a man. Cougar badge confirmed.

Just two days after this, she dated three other guys in a single day!  We were incredulous, so she told us she doesn’t really care about dating those guys, she just wanted to “go there and practice her English” because she’s determined that one day she will immigrate to the United States or some other English speaking country. I doubt that those guys only met her to “practice” speaking what was probably their native language. They were looking for friends (or more), but she wasn’t interested in that. I suspect that she was scoping them out, but they didn’t measure up to her standards, so in her mind, they were relegated to the “language exchange” category.

My wife said to me privately, “She thinks all those men are unique to her, but no one is special to her. How can I describe to her that all those other men’s behaviors show that they are not marriage minded, but this American guy is actually serious about having a relationship? If she rejects this American guy, then I think she’s pretty dumb.” I had to agree.

Then one day not more than a week later, Rhianna told my wife she found a German guy (number 5?), and then all the talk about the American guy stopped completely.

The Germane German

Rhianna told us the reason why the German man she met is in Bigtown — he has a very good job with a big German company, and he’s had this job for 26 years. So she said she’s got to go to Bigtown to find a job because this guy is quite handsome.

She only talked with this guy online a few times!

Their talk escalated like this. After they had a light warm-up, it led to some suggestive bantering. Then the guy sent her pictures of his nude body and then she quickly sent some of her own back to him with the message, “I have a funny new picture too!”

The guy responded, “Oh! This photo is so sexy!!! When did you take this photo?!?”

She told him she just went to the beach with her ex-boyfriend (another hasty, messy, made-up story). Then he asked her about this ex-boyfriend, and she started to bulverize in an attempt to escape this topic. “You know, a lot of men always ask me if I have a boyfriend, if I have any friends with benefits, if I have any sexy photos with previous boyfriends, or something like that. They just want to know my past…”

I cajoled, “If the past doesn’t matter, then you should forget about management and find an internship with a modeling agency!”

The incongruence of my quip went right over her head. She answered, “No, I tried that before and it is too dirty for me. I am a respectable, professional woman.”

Then she showed us the nude picture of herself that she sent to him. Seeing that picture really made us doubt everything she told us about her being a Christian woman looking for a husband. So my wife asked her, “Why do you send this type of photo to a man you just met online and chatted with only a few days? What’s the purpose? What kind of relationship do you want to have from him? Don’t you think you are giving those guys a tip of the hand about having sex?”

Rhianna was embarrassed by our reaction and became very angry. She dropped a cold shadow and said, “Don’t criticize me! I am trying to overcome my fear of trusting men! I don’t need to listen to your flapping jaws.”

My wife answered, “What is your response to a man’s request for a sexy photo from you? Giving out nude photos of yourself doesn’t help you trust men. You just like to give those sexy photos to them because you want them to think you’re hot. It’s very much like a 12 year-old-girl flashing her budding breasts to boys.”

Rhianna countered, “You’re so old fashioned! I have a beautiful body, and I am not ashamed to show it off. I have a lot of pictures of my beautiful bottom and men love to see it!”

My wife shot back, “You just told us you were professional. You said you were respectable. So when you show your beautiful bottom to those guys, are you really thinking about finding a job in Bigtown? Are you really being respectable?”

Her cold gleaming eyes started twitching. So my wife told her, “I’m not criticizing you, I’m charging you to be responsible with your life. I’m telling you the truth — your actions are very different from your words.”

We didn’t hear anything more about that particular German man. But within a week, she had some other news to report.

The Impervious Italian

Rhianna* met a Jamaican guy and an Italian guy online, so she went to Bigtown to meet them. She said the Jamaican guy works for an NGO and the Italian guy is a manager at a large international company. After she arrived in Bigtown, the Italian guy asked her to go to his house at the beginning, but she didn’t want to go there without first meeting the Jamaican guy, comparing the two men, and gauging her prospects. The Italian guy sensed her hesitation and said a few things to her to change her mind very quickly. We asked her what he said. She said the guy just said to her, “I think your place is better.”

So then she had to rev up the hamster. She asked that guy, “You told me you want to have a long-term relationship and you don’t want to rush… Then you asked me to come to your apartment…???”

The guy said it’s because he’s busy and will be working late. He said, “I won’t have sex with you if you don’t want it. I won’t force you.” So she went to the guy’s apartment late at night. Just as you might expect, things escalated, but then she put on the brakes because she was still wondering about the Jamaican guy. The Italian guy sensed something was off, and as you can imagine, he was frustrated and angry, so then he asked her to leave.

The next day the Italian guy sent her a message and told her, “I don’t need to suffer from this [green light followed by a rejection]. I will not contact you anymore.” Then he blocked her number and she felt humiliated, à la Tingles popped up and she was hooked. The Jamaican guy was no longer responding to her texts, probably because she took too long to respond to him while she was messing around with the Italian guy. So then with both men out of the picture, she felt sad and desperate.

She called my wife asking her to talk with her about this. So my wife spent over 7 hours to talk and pray with her. After my wife got off the phone, I asked her to tell me what’s going on. She relayed to me all that is written here and concluded that Rhianna doesn’t really want to hear what we said. She just wants to release all her emotions and make herself feel better.

After this talk, Rhianna continued to send my wife a barrage of text messages, at all hours of the day, all throughout the week. Most of the subject matter concerned her present involvement with the “hawt” Italian guy who turned out to be about 10 years younger than her. He kept distancing himself from her, and he eventually blocked her on social media. This drove her nuts, and she was determined to get back together with him. I was thinking, this Italian guy is playing her @ss like a banjo, and that is exactly what she wants!

After that day, Rhianna thought my wife was her best friend. She texted her all the time, every day! She asked my wife if she could come to our house every day, only just to talk about men and sex with her. My wife started to feel annoyed with her, because she always asked her the same questions and she never really listened to her. But of course, she didn’t tell her her true feelings. She would simply neglect responding to her calls and messages.

The drama never ended.

Related

Meditations on the experiences described above eventually culminated in a slew of posts.

About Jack

Jack is a world traveling artist, skilled in trading ideas and information, none of which are considered too holy, too nerdy, nor too profane to hijack and twist into useful fashion. Sigma Frame Mindsets and methods for building and maintaining a masculine Frame
This entry was posted in Addictions, Attitude, Attraction, Boundaries, Choosing a Partner or Spouse, Churchianity, Desire, Desire, Passion, Discerning Lies and Deception, Discernment, Wisdom, Female Power, Feminism, Hamsterbation, Hypergamy, Internet Dating Sites, IOI's, Models of Failure, Personal Presentation, Persuasion, Polysexuality, Purpose, Relationships, Running the Gauntlet, Self-Concept, Sexual Authority, SMV/MMV, Solipsism, Strategy, Taiwan. Bookmark the permalink.

36 Responses to Carousel Widow in Decline – Part 3

  1. RayRay says:

    Epitome of solipsism.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Femmy says:

    Just wait when she hits her brick wall

    Liked by 1 person

  3. cameron232 says:

    The entire series could be summarized this way: “She’s a slut.”

    She might as well start charging $$$ so she gets something out of all this.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I reckon you and your mrs have already spent too much time on this lady, although you got some interesting posts out of it.
    Not sure the exact psychological thing that’s wrong with her but she’s not marriage material and there’s nothing anyone can do about it. This ‘good Christian girl’ act is a ruse to vampire-suck more of your attention, which is her drug.

    Liked by 5 people

    • Jack says:

      “Not sure the exact psychological thing that’s wrong with her…”

      Yep, I suspect she has some kind of a disorder. I’m hoping Scott might give us a psychoanalysis.

      Liked by 3 people

      • redpillboomer says:

        I suggest looking at the Cluster B Personality Disorders in the Diagnostic Statistical Manual-V (DSM-V): Narcissistic, Histrionic, and Borderline. Sounds like something in there maybe.

        Like

    • Joe2 says:

      “This ‘good Christian girl’ act is a ruse to vampire-suck more of your attention, which is her drug.”

      I had similar thoughts and also think these men (to a large extent, or all) could be a figment of her imagination. She creates or embellishes her story to keep you sucked in and interested as she controls the narrative. It’s a game / drug to her.

      Liked by 2 people

  5. Ron says:

    This woman is poisoning you and especially your wife. Staying in contact with her is no different than reading/watching porno.

    Liked by 6 people

    • I thought something like this after ruminating. I’m not so sure as you but there’s a potential for malign influence like you get from a freshly-divorced friend advocating her path. If you stare too long into the abyss, etc.

      Liked by 5 people

      • Jack says:

        Nikolai,
        There is one more post in this series, and in it, I’ll tell how it affected my wife. But to give you and the readers a preview summary, she did have a very negative influence on my wife at the time. But all the while, my wife was very annoyed with her for some reason, and this is what gave me the confidence that my wife would not get sucked into her spirit of debauchery. After we stopped “counseling” her, my wife seemed to be more aware of her own feelings about what Rhianna was doing, and I think it helped her move past whatever residual feelings she had about that. So to summarize, in the fray, it got worse, but in the end, I think it helped my wife mature. The thing I learned from all of this is that it is pretty much a waste of time to try to help people like Rhianna. They have to hit bottom and be left with no other options before they are able to open their mind to a different way to view life. I’ve written a couple posts about this phenomenon.
        https://sigmaframe.wordpress.com/2020/11/06/hitting-bottom-is-necessary/
        https://sigmaframe.wordpress.com/2021/05/21/the-greatest-archetype/

        Liked by 5 people

  6. cameron232 says:

    I knew girls from HS who went through her experiences in college. Here’s the thing: they got past this stage by early-mid twenties. How old is this woman? Extreme psychological immaturity.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Jack says:

      Cameron,
      Rhianna was 41 at the time this happened. (I described her background in the first post of this series.) Well past the age that most women would have already hit the wall. Well past the age that she should have already become aware of what she is doing. All thanks to her fabulous body that defies the ravages of time and debauchery.

      “Extreme psychological immaturity.”

      Yep, I suspect that she had a soul-rocking sexual experience early in life that locked her into this mode.

      Liked by 4 people

  7. KJ says:

    It was time to cut the cord with this lovely lady a while ago. You can’t save the world or fix everyone. Just resign yourself to the reality that the world needs whores, too. Prostitution (soft and hard) isn’t the World’s Oldest Profession for no reason…. Where there’s a ‘market’, a corresponding ‘product’ will appear.

    Liked by 3 people

  8. I agree with those saying you should have cut the cord long ago. Perfect example: “Then she showed us the nude picture of herself that she sent to him.” Why would either of you ever want to see that?

    This lady is far from God. I’d give her a basic repent and believe sermon, talk about how fornicators don’t inherit the kingdom of God, etc., then move on from her. She’s toxic. She has no real desire to do what God says. She will only cause harm to your marriage.

    Liked by 6 people

  9. thedeti says:

    OFF TOPIC:

    OnlyFans to bar sexually explicit video; but will still allow nude photos and video that comply with OF’s policies.

    https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2021-08-19/onlyfans-to-block-sexually-explicit-videos-starting-in-october

    What it means for the OASIS:

    1) This is a result of OF getting too much negative attention. Remember that the OASIS thrives on the current Schrodinger’s sexual marketplace, where sex is everywhere and nowhere at the same time. In the OASIS, sex is purely transactional and happening all the time, but taking place in private. People want sex and are willing to transact for it but they don’t want anyone knowing that said transactions are taking place or when or where or with whom.

    2) It’s also a result of high profile OF content creators garnering too much negative attention.

    3) It’s probably also a result of the usual “met up with someone I met on [insert name of site here] and it went REALLY badly and the law got involved and someone got hurt/killed/lost a lot of money/exposed and shamed to the world” news stories. People love those stories; then get outraged, then grouse that Someone Oughta Do Something About This, and There Oughta Be A Law, and boycotts, and lawsuits, and prosecutions, and a few people are ruined as scapegoats/sacrificial lambs to quell the masses, until the masses find something else to get outraged about. (Damn, I’m getting cynical.)

    4) OF might not be making money at it – why pay for porn when you can get it free?

    5) The primary OF content creators who are making bank will continue to make bank – they’ll just shift gears and comply with the new rules, and take explicit content elsewhere if it doesn’t comply with OF rules.

    OF isn’t the only game in town….

    Liked by 3 people

    • Jack says:

      @TheDeti,
      Just wait until they see a drop in revenue and then learn that sex = money.

      By the end of this year, we’ll see whether they relent and go the sex route or continue to cling to a semblance of moral respectability. I will guess that they’ll split their services into two venues, “popular” and “adult”.

      We’ll see.

      Liked by 3 people

      • thedeti says:

        Jack:

        Probably. OF says it’s doing this because of “pressure from banking partners and payment providers” and it is “trying to raise revenue from outside investors” of about $1 billion. (Not that OF is worth $1 billion – they’re trying to get investors to give them that cash.) This is obviously venture capital and operating costs money.

        Translation: We’re trying to get “respectable” people to give us money and own a stake in this, but people don’t want to openly own or finance a porno site. We need money to keep this thing afloat. The people want their amateur homemade porn and they want to make a little money at it but they don’t have enough to fund the platform. The moneymen are all for making money; but they don’t want anyone to know they make their money peddling amateur porn.

        Think about this — you don’t know who owns P0rnHub, do you? That’s right, you don’t. And the PTB want it that way.

        Liked by 3 people

      • thedeti says:

        This is also why sex is everywhere and nowhere. It’s everywhere because everyone wants it, and the benefits that go with it (pleasure for men, resources and pleasure for women). It’s everywhere because people will do what it takes to get what they want, including paying for it, and including accepting payment in exchange for it.

        It’s “nowhere” because it’s become much more transactional, but those transactions must of necessity take place in private and away from the public eye. There is still shame associated with sex (“shame” in the archaic sense, i.e. that which is inherently private ought not be made public). There is stigma associated with pure transactional sex. Shame and stigma aren’t going away (much like feminism utterly failed to convince everyone that nice and kind are sexually attractive have failed and that men and women are alike in every way except that women can have babies and men can p!ss standing up).

        Liked by 2 people

    • thedeti says:

      The OASIS will continue to thrive. But this drives it deeper into the shadows.

      Liked by 2 people

      • Ed Hurst says:

        I believe it’s possible, if they wanted it, to create their own payment system to relieve the pressure from those who want to look respectable. I seem to recall reading about such a move some time ago, but there wasn’t any way to scrape up enough backing to make it work. I don’t know how much that would be, but I suspect a billion might be enough for that.

        Liked by 3 people

      • Jack says:

        I had a thought about this since yesterday. It’s one step in a long term scheme. OnlyFans will make a big announcement saying that they’re going to “clean up”, and they’ll actually “clean up” just enough to convince investors that their reputation won’t be soiled. After OnlyFans gets the investment capital, they’ll develop alternate payment methods, like Ed described, so that they can run independently. After the new operation is up and running for some time, they’ll consolidate their loans to gain a major controlling influence, and then split their services into two sites, one clean and one shady, and then they’ll resume chasing after the real money. The clean site is for the publicity, and the shady site is for making money. Kinda like in the old days when the barbershops and noodleshops had a back room for “doing business”, which was the real business. The barbershop/noodleshop was just a storefront that could be used to launder money, provide a tax shelter, etc.

        Liked by 1 person

  10. Oscar says:

    Anticipated catastrophe confirmed.

    Liked by 2 people

  11. feeriker says:

    “The incongruence of my quip went right over her head. She answered, “No, I tried that before and it is too dirty for me. I am a respectable, professional woman.”

    I think that this would have been the point at which I would have realized that the delusion bubble in which this woman lives is impenetrable and that any further conversation with her with a goal of helping her would be pointless as long as she insists on living in the bubble.

    “Then she showed us the nude picture of herself that she sent to him. Seeing that picture really made us doubt everything she told us about her being a Christian woman looking for a husband.”

    Seriously? THIS was what led you to that conclusion, not all of the multiple other red flags that preceded it?

    “So my wife spent over 7 hours to talk and pray with her.”

    I’m not sure that praying with her was productive, given that there didn’t appear to be any form of self-awareness, introspection, or, most important, contrition in her behavior. Praying for her, on the other hand, is most definitely essential at this stage. Prayers that the Holy Spirit touches her, convicts her, leads her to genuine repentance, and a profound, visible change in her life and her behavior. Until it happens from the inside, nothing from the outside is going to have any effect.

    I do hope you two have cut off contact with “Rhianna.” Having a train wreck of a woman like this in your lives, one who clearly isn’t receptive to counsel and one who insists on continuing down the path to destruction, preferably taking other women with her along the way, is dangerous to a marriage (ask me how I know that).

    Liked by 2 people

  12. feeriker says:

    “The thing I learned from all of this is that it is pretty much a waste of time to try to help people like Rhianna. They have to hit bottom and be left with no other options before they are able to open their mind to a different way to view life.”

    BINGO!!!

    Liked by 2 people

  13. feeriker says:

    “Think about this – you don’t know who owns P0rnHub, do you? That’s right, you don’t. And the PTB want it that way.”

    Perhaps not, but we can certainly (((take a good guess))).

    Liked by 3 people

  14. Oscar says:

    Matthew 7:6 “Do not give what is holy to the dogs; nor cast your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you in pieces.”

    Jesus was talking about the Gospel (if someone rejects the Gospel, move on to the next person), but that commandment applies to all kinds of stuff in life. It’s a weird, yet sadly common, illogical reaction. A person who refuses to help him/herself will hate and resent you if you continue to try to help them. They’ll even try to destroy you for trying to help them.

    See the welfare state.

    Liked by 4 people

  15. I was hoping you made up this stuff.

    This is sad.

    Like

    • Jack says:

      “I was hoping you made up this stuff.”

      No, it’s all true, except the names. I think it’s easy to “not see” stuff like this, even when it goes on right under our noses. It’s also easy to dismiss men’s accounts (e.g. like what is on PUA sites), because men tend to exaggerate such things. Of course, women never talk about such things because of reasons discussed in The Feminine Secret. I can only guess that Rhianna told us about her sex life because she sincerely thought we could help her get something she wanted (which she’ll never get). It’s exceedingly rare to get an unbiased, detailed, inside view, and that’s why I thought it’s important to write this series.

      Liked by 4 people

  16. Pingback: Word from the Dark Side – everything’s under control, extreme fails and educated elites eclipsed | SovietMen

  17. Pingback: Carousel Widow in Decline – Part 5 | Σ Frame

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