The overprotected, undersocialized, Oedipal mommy’s boy.
Readership: Men
Author’s Note: H/T: Oscar.
Length: 2,600 words
Reading Time: 15:30 minute video (Summary of transcript requires 9 minutes reading time.)
This video says it all.
Think Before You Sleep: How Simps Are Born (2020-2-28) Length: 15:30
Case Study 1 – Joey and Speed Dating at Comic Con
0:00
Joey: I’m Joey and I’m a huuuge geek!
Joey’s friend: Whoever you find, she’s got to be able to bring back home to Mom.
Joey: I’m not looking for much. I just want to find a girl who will give me hugs and kisses and isn’t my mother.
[Joey’s mother ridicules him for meeting women at a speed dating session at Comic Con.]
0:24
Joey: …my mom likes me where I am right now, living at home with her. So as far as she’s concerned… any woman in my life is a threat.
0:32
Narrator: I think it’s funny to watch someone who is over 300 pounds [Joey’s mother] call girls who go to Comic Con “undesirable.” That lack of perspective is why your son is still living with you indefinitely at 25 years old.
1:07
Narrator: What does interest me in this situation is the deep desire for these guy’s mothers to keep them from developing socially so that they remain as adult children forever.
1:17
Jordan Peterson [1]: …so the Oedipal situation, roughly speaking, is when a child is seriously overprotected — usually a male child by his mother — and so the relationship between the husband and the wife was either strained or non-existent and the wife would often turn to the child to be what she isn’t getting from the husband.
1:34
Jordan Peterson [1]: The Oedipal mother basically entices the child and says, “Look, here’s the deal. You don’t have to do anything, but you don’t get to leave. But if you don’t leave and you don’t do these difficult things, then I’ll take care of you.” And so the reason she does that is because she’s lonesome and doesn’t have anybody else around and you know, maybe she’s also deeply, Deeply, DEEPLY terrified that if she helps that boy grow up, he will leave and she’ll have nothing.
2:00
Narrator: Our main character Joey’s situation is not the end result of having a large spider-man collection. I mean, the Avengers and the Marvel Cinematic Universe proved that there are a whole boatload of normies who are into comic book heroes, as long as the stories are good. What has actually happened is that no one has taught Joey, or taught any of the men who were on Geek Love, how to be men, and as Jorden Peterson suggested, this epidemic of adult children is occurring because there are no men in the house or the men are weak and the moms aren’t setting their sons up with a strength to deal with reality. In fact, a lot of those mothers are actively sabotaging their sons, because honestly, these guys aren’t incapable of being adults. Both of the examples of men I have on this video are guys who are completely capable of being independent, but their mothers are holding them back.
2:50
Narrator: They’re selfishly holding their sons back so they can simp for them […] and what this is essentially saying is something really queer and kind of disgusting…
3:02
Narrator: Joey admits that his mom is afraid of him leaving. She’s afraid her son will leave because she knows she has very little value as a person. She knows she is so cruel and mean-spirited that she could never have real friends or build a strong relationship with other family members, or God forbid, her own husband! So what she does is takes her son’s dependence on her from childhood, never lets him do anything difficult so he’s always dependent on her, and finally beats him down at every point while he’s dependent so he constantly seeks her approval. You can see her doing this on the show, even though she’s being polite for the camera.
Joey: Don’t you want me to find… a nice girl to bring home?
Joey’s mother: [In a whiny voice] I don’t think that’s the place to find a nice girl…
3:47
Narrator: [Mocking Joey’s mother] Why would you want to date a girl at Comic Con? Those girls are weird. They do drugs and… they aren’t good for you!
Narrator: You see how she’s giving him negative feedback when he tries to be independent? The end result of this is that his mom has him right where she wants him. He isn’t able to do anything difficult because he always relies on her and he is so desperate for her approval that he does things that turn other people off. For example, he gets a date with a girl after the speed-dating session and for their very first date they go home to meet his mom and play video games!
4:00-5:40
[Scenes from Joey meeting a girl at the speed dating event and bringing her home to meet his parents and play video games.]
5:40
Narrator: Joey’s need for approval is his mom’s self-defense mechanism — to make sure that he simps for his mom instead of some other girl — because the first thing a girl is going to think when he brings her home to mommy on a first date is, “This guy is weird!”
5:55-6:17
[More scenes from Joey’s date.]
6:00
Narrator: …you can really see the detrimental effect that Joey’s mom has had on him because he was extremely lacking any dating experience at 25, which is something he feels bad about. But when he does the speed-dating event and shows his personality, he ends up being the most popular guy!
6:17-6:56
[Scenes from speed dating event at Comic Con.]
Joey’s friend: Joey nails it! Every girl writes their number on his paper.
6:30
Narrator: [Joey is] someone who is perfectly capable of achieving what he wants, but his mom, for her own selfish desires, is holding him back, while his dad basically just sits in the background.
6:45
Narrator: Now I haven’t been able to figure out what has happened to Joey in the 7 years since this was filmed, but it seems to me that he was in the process of escaping his mother’s grasp before this show was filmed. He lost 80 pounds and after the show was filmed, he moved out of his parent’s house.
7:00
Joey: Hey, it’s me, Joey! What speed dating at Comic-Con taught me was that… it’s very hard to have to bring girls over to the house to introduce them to my mom, or to hang out here at my house if my mom’s going to basically be questioning whether or not they’re virgins or what their motives are with me or anything like that… This entire experience taught me that it’s time to move out.”
7:25
Narrator: Even though it appears that Joey made it out, I can’t help but think about the people who don’t make it, or the people who are less fortunate…
Case Study 2 – Alex
7:35
Alex: Hi! I’m Alex. I am 25 and I am a giiiant geek! My love life status is a mix of forever alone and socially awkward penguin…. It’s meantastic! I’m a Renaissance geek! I like comics. I like board games. I love Doctor Who, and I am also brony [a male fan of My Little Pony].
8:00
Narrator: Now of course, it’s very easy to make fun of Alex. He is a 25-year-old who lives with his parents. He’s overweight. He has an awkward beard, and he watches My Little Pony. Unfortunately, you don’t get to see Alex’s parents like you do with Joey, but there is a reason the “mother’s basement” stereotype exists. There’s a formula to create guys like Alex and an overprotective Oedipal mother is how you do it.
8:26
Narrator: So of course you could make fun of them, but I don’t think that behavior is productive, because it’s guys like Alex who would do anything for a woman just to get her approval. This means he is an easy target to be manipulated by women and a great vessel for toxic female behavior to be developed. And if you think that it’s just the attractive ones that engage in this bad behavior then you would be wrong.
8:50-13:12
[Scenes of Alex talking with Carolyn, a young woman at the Comic Con speed dating event.]
Carolyn: What kind of girl do you want to meet when you go to Con? [Chatter]
Alex: I guess you but not crazy and hyper.
Carolyn: So you essentially want my non-evil twin.
Alex: Yeah, I guess!
Carolyn: That’s a little creepy, Alex. [Alex laughs.]
9:13
Alex: Some of my challenges with girls are just the girls that I really do like that I’m really interested in. I just wannabe friends.
9:20
Narrator: This girl Carolyn who is not an 8, 9, or 10, or even a 7, knows Alex really likes her. Instead of being completely honest with him and shutting him down so he doesn’t sit there and orbit her for the rest of his life, she keeps him around and… gives him dating advice. Clearly no one has taught Alex anything about women, so he doesn’t know this, but she is not doing this stuff because they are “friends”. She’s doing this because she likes the attention he gives her and she’s giving him dating advice because she thinks he’s pathetic.
9:50
[Scene where Carolyn discovers that Alex is a brony.]
10:04
Narrator: If she [Carolyn] really wanted to help, then she wouldn’t friend zone him and participate in this weird relationship. But she isn’t going to do that because women don’t do things like that. [Instead,] they like collecting resources and she knows that she can eventually use Alex’s attraction to her to get him to do stuff for free. The most productive thing we can do in this situation is to make sure guys like Alex don’t become simps for women.
10:27
Narrator: This reminds me of a comment that gets thrown around by people who are anti-MGTOW where they say, “MGTOW are just incels in denial. They are only Red Pill because they can’t get women.”
10:40
Narrator: You know what? Mission accomplished! [Let’s] Red Pill all the incels, because at least then they won’t be enabling bad behavior from women. At the very least, maybe they will stop making everything about women and actually get their lives together. And this is not just some impossible feat for Alex or guys like him. Alex is not retarded. Alex is not autistic. He is just unskilled. The reason he doesn’t converse well is because he hasn’t practiced very much.
11:05
Narrator: Now there are two important aspects of building the skill.
- Exposure to new experiences.
- Repetition
11:13
Narrator: That is how skill develops, and you can actually see this happening with Alex during this episode when Alex goes on to his first speed date. He is absolutely terrible!
11:25
[Scene of Alex awkwardly initiating a conversation at Comic Con.]
11:30
Narrator: Just look at that! In his first conversation, he can barely even speak! But after a little practice he gets way better.
11:40
[Scenes of Alex making conversation at Comic Con.]
12:03
Narrator: He exposed himself to a new experience which was speed dating. He practiced with 30 different people during the event and by the end of the event he got significantly better. After that, he really only needs to fix one thing in terms of conversation, which is that he comes off as weird, and the reason that happens is because he’s saying absolutely everything on his mind and he doesn’t filter out unnecessary information.
12:28
[Scene of Alex moving in on Kate, a red head who is giving him IOIs.]
12:45
Narrator: [Jordan Peterson said] that he came to a point in his life where he decided to stop saying things that make him weak.
12:56
Narrator: In the previous clip you can see Alex sitting with the girl who likes him [Kate] and he offers to walk her back to her booth. Not exactly a date, but good enough for him. Then immediately after he offers to walk with her, he says, of course she could just walk back by herself. Do you see how that second statement destroys his offer to spend more time with her and makes him look weird? If he had simply not said that, he may not have gotten rejected by her as soon as they walked out of the room.
Jack: In spite of their nerdiness, I thought Alex and Kate would make a pretty good couple. But apparently, Alex’s self-negation (plus the likelihood that she picked up with another guy instead) blew his chances with her. Self-negating statements like this put the brakes on Tingles. She laughed it off, but her IOIs immediately shifted to IOCs. You can feel her disappointment suddenly come through in a fake smile. She may have even taken it as an IOC from him. Maybe it was, and maybe not as an IOC towards her, but towards himself. Maybe she only offered to walk around Comic Con with him in order to have more attention through the camera.
13:26
Alex: [Dejected] What happened at the speed dating was that, I’m talking to Kate basically on camera. [After the] cameras are off and we walked away… and what happened was that, basically, she told me after about a minute that she just wanted to be friends. So basically, kind of nothing ever happened. Of course I understand, but it was kind of depressing.
13:52
Narrator: …it’s not just Alex who does this kind of stuff. He may be worse than the average person, but everyone is guilty at some point of doing what he did. The key to good conversation is to start thinking about the best things you can say versus whatever insecure ideas come into your head first. I mean, [everyone should get into the habit of] casting out all the bad ideas so we can focus on the things that actually matter and the things [we] have good evidence for. And this can be expanded to every aspect of your being. You can start systematically getting rid of the things that make you weak.
14:27
Narrator: Imagine what Alex’s life would be like if you took a razor and shaved that awful looking beard! Imagine how much better he would be if he lost about 120 pounds! Imagine what his life would be like if he stopped spending $5,000 a year on video games and comics and instead invested that into himself! That’s how you start living a life that’s fulfilling instead of wallowing in self-pity while being taken advantage of by women you like who don’t like you back. When you start focusing on bettering your own standing, you will stop caring about which women like you and which women don’t.
Masculinity Rating
Simps have a wide spectrum of personalities with a mixed bag of traits. For example, some Simps (like Joey) can display quite a bit of frame control, especially within their field of interest, but other than this, Strength is a recurrent weakness. In terms of Honor, many of them have a solid sense of identity and self-esteem, but are sorely lacking in reputation and social status. Authority is also highly variable. Many Simps have developed considerable authority in formal education or within their areas of interest, however, they are embarassingly deficient in power and influence. Likewise with Respect, as some Simps have well-developed abilities and skills in specific areas, but overall, they lack certain other qualities that would allow them to earn respect from others. Similar to Strength, Purpose is also a weak suit with the possible expection of discipline, as any ambitions they might have are subsumed into their mother’s frame.
The probabilities of distribution are skewed to the right, meaning that relatively fewer Simps have higher scores in these areas.
Strength: 0-6
Honor: 2-8
Authority: 0-8
Respect: 0-6
Purpose: 0-5
Average Score: 2-3.5
Source Videos
- Jordan Peterson: Overbearing Mothers (2017-4-30)
Related
- Lauren Dolloff: The Oedipus Complex (2006-11-16)
- Very Well Mind: What Is the Oedipus Complex? (2022-5-20)
ArchAngel
caterpillar345
Soup Sandwich
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Novaseeker
Oscar
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Jack
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Σ Frame 
Many of the Boomer, Gen X, and Gen Y men fitting this description are the men who got divorce raped in the 1970s, 80s and 90s, and made it to the manosphere.
It was Gen Zs, millennials, and iGen men who have become the bronies, incels, and neckbeards of today. The modern day omega.
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I’ve got two buddies who fit the “their mothers won’t let them leave” stereotype. And they are both dysfunctional. They’ll probably never get married or hold a LTR. They think they are gonna boss me around like their moms. Nope! You’re gonna STFU. Glad you posted this. I’m gonna send them the Jordan Peterson video. These bums need help. Both make 6 figures. Their Moms literally clean their rooms, make them every meal, park their cars in the garage, pick them up at the bar, hand them $100 so they dont have to stop at an ATM… But won’t let them leave.
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Comment in the video:
LOL!
Kate was wearing a shirt that read, “I want you inside me.” Any guy with any semblance of manhood whatsoever could have had her. Wonder what happened to her?
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I have to admit, being from another generation altogether, I’d heard about this category of male, but had not really experienced one. Watching these clips left me unsettled, like in, “How the he!! does this happen?” I get it cognitively, the bearded man living in his parents basement trope, but seeing it, wow, I’m just speechless. And the girls weren’t much better, but compared to the men, they came out looking okay, but in reality they weren’t. If my era of the 70s and 80s had this thing going on, I didn’t know about it. It weirded me out to be quite frank about it. How pronounced is this phenomenon? Are we talking outliers here or something closer to mainstream?
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You walk by them when you shop at Walmart. You just don’t get to experience how they actually are. These are young guys. Imagine what they’ll be like when they are 40 and virgins. They will have totally missed the ship.
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I know lots of these types. Most are actually okay with who they are and have an unbelievably high self-esteem / self-worth. Really. Many were raised from day one on a computer, so not having “real in-person social skills or relationships” is perfectly fine with them. They live for comic books, Star Trek, Star Wars, and are into computers / video gaming. Many of these guys are totally obsessed with Star Trek and/or Star Wars, and talk about it like it is “real”.
When I was a teen, we had the “Dungeons and Dragons” crowd, Trekkies, and the like, but today, the fan base has grown by an order of magnitude. So I can see how identifying as a Trekkie, etc. would have some clout and not be that embarassing, simply for the fact that that scene is so “big” today. I mean, a teen boy can be little more than a geek / dorkwad / skater (which now means stoner) / wannabe gangbanger, and they can get by socially if they can spout some expert inside knowledge about the mysteries of “The Force”, etc. If they have the looks and an older mentor, they might be a Chad in training. (Young guys are pretty much locked into their identity at 13 and can never escape.)
The same goes for the young girls. There are a lot more of those geekier girls / women today than a generation and a half ago, for sure. So in a way, the market has adjusted by itself. Many of these guys do want to date and many others manage to do so…. The ones who do not will either (1) become angry Incels, or (2) will be a guy who honestly believes he DESERVES a woman in the 8, 9, 10 looks department. Seriously!
The younger set isn’t learning much of anything useful from TV either. The current comedy / fantasy / romance TV show “Big Bang Theory” is funny but not real, similar to how “Friends” was to the GAP / khaki-clad GenX before them. I mean, all those guys on BBT can attract the company of hot women!?! Really??? Likewise with “Friends”. Monica can afford a hip apartment that size located in “The Village”, all on being a part time sous chef / cook. Sure. SURE!!! TV shows lie just as much now as they did in my generation.
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Just had to piggyback on what Lastmod said about how ” Most are actually okay with who they are and have an unbelievably high self-esteem / self-worth”.
Yo…in my mid and late 20s, I worked with an entire department full of these guys. On lunch breaks, they’d literally break out their Magic the Gathering Cards and play. Because it was so prevalent, I really felt out of place. And honestly…a little jealous. For me to be a traditional masculine male, I was the oddball out in my department (which is why people constantly complained every time I told a joke, while they could joke about JFK getting shot and nobody blinks an eye)
I had theories about why/how this happened, and I think it has a lot to do with the idea that “traditional masculinity” is toxic. With shows like “Glee” and “Big Bang Theory” pushing this alternative geeky male who still gets the hot girls…I think it facilitated more and more men to be open about embracing their lack of traditional masculinity. Especially while, at the same time, Society’s pushing women to be more like traditional men.
With one co-worker in particular. He looks like that guy in the beard and the vest, he goes to the comicons and his desk was full of fandom references. But he got married to a pretty decent looking woman and I was stunned…until I met her.
She was strong and assertive (like an alpha male). And I told myself..huh, this is starting to make sense. Because the guy…this is the kind of guy who walks by you in the hall and keeps his gaze down. You have to call his name and say hello, only for him to frightfully look up and give a quick wave.
Point being…In today’s modern culture, I think some demographics of women like men like this because it allows them to be the “superior” one, so to speak. Of course, I could be wrong. Just a theory.
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I think this may be more common than you might first believe. I’m aware of situations where there are two sons in the family, but they are raised differently.
One son is encouraged to be independent, leave the nest, move away and start developing his own life. The son receives approval, affirmation and can do no wrong. Gets married and has a good life.
The other son is the focus of criticism, is reminded of faults (real or perceived), and grows up basically lacking confidence. He plays it safe and stays close to home. If a job opportunity should arise which would require relocation, he is discouraged from taking it because “mother knows best.” Doesn’t get married.
I’ve seen this scenario in my own family as well as with some men who attended my church. I’m curious why two sons are raised so differently. Any thoughts?
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It goes back into ancient times — parental favoritism is actually quite common. There are any number of things that can trigger it, and it can require major therapy to uncover in some parents.
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And i just realized a good friend of mine was this he has 2 brothers. His older went off got married seems totally normal. Then he is the baby but when they did the no rules thing he totally shattered it. And refused to stay. But the one brother is soft. The mom has him in a holding pattern of go to college we will pay and you need a car and expenses covered so you can concentrate and do real good.
Now he’s 34 2 masters degrees never had a gf lives in the basement of a mil+ home never bought a car had a full time job no friends barely leaves. I was the neighbor for a year when I got divorced 7yrs ago that’s how I met the buddy. I saw his brother 3x and was like who’s that? This guy has never taken a vacation. Only family vacations as a group I just can’t imagine a life like that
But I can’t lie when I got out of highschool my dad basically wouldn’t let me leave. Held me to no standards as long as I worked. Endless drinking banging girls not a word. As two men it seemed different like when a son takes over the family business farm whatever. When I got a wife and left he ran off and found one seeing me leaving and now is her slave.
My father is relatively wealthy and for decades he has told me and my sister he will build us nice homes and he’s think about giving us a few hundred k. “He has spent enough in improvements to his small town they want to elect him mayor” Or when he retires he did the math and would like to put us on payroll and give us 75k a year each and it never materialized. A decade ago he was bringing me to lots for sale and we were running the numbers of what a home and new shop would b and he was gonna spend 500k. He said well i have to build you a house and your sister and my wifes drug addict 21yo daughter so its too much. And then he backed out which hurt and it’s not like I was trying to get this he just picked me up one day with locations and we started driving. Maybe 2 years ago we had to meet somewhere and there were new boats he pointed and told my kid if you want your dad to take you fishing I’ll buy you one. These were the biggest Lund fiberglass. I said no were fine if I said yes he would have backed out.
He’s painted in a corner. He needs to lead with resources. But if he gives said resources he has given up all power so he needs to string us along but then that makes him a liar which over 20years me and sister are convinced he is. Now I am on the verge of eclipsing him I have spent a lot on equipment and if this last one gets approval i will start making money like a surgeon. It’s gonna b fascinating to see what happens with the dynamic.
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If a devouring mother has more than one boy, she knows which one to devour. Personality is mostly innate. Some boys are just naturally more compliant. That’s the one she’ll devour.
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RPB,
They’ve always been around. They’re the “omegas” of the male hierarchy. When I was in high school from 89 – 93, they were the guys who sat in the corner playing Dungeons and Dragons. I befriended a few of them, but we didn’t stay friends, because they just wouldn’t grow.
It’s probably more prevalent today because there are a lot more single mothers, and boys growing up without fathers.
They’re also more visible because geek culture is more mainstream today. Only weirdos used to go to Comic Con. Nowadays all kinds of people go.
You saw how it happens. These young men usually start out as boys with naturally more compliant personalities who grow up with an overbearing mother, and a father that is either weak or absent.
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Our entire society, for the last couple of generations, has been slowly conditioned to extend adolescence out for as long as possible and to put off adulthood for just as long. We’re only now seeing where this leads with the Millennials, GenZs, and iGens. I have to say that I am ETERNALLY grateful that my own 19-year-old grandson, raised by two women (his single mother and his divorced grandmother) has turned out to be significantly better than I expected in some ways, especially compared to his peers. (While he’s still living at home, he holds a full-time job with a great deal of responsibility and is working his way towards complete independence.)
My own view is that complete socioeconomic collapse is going to be the one catalyst for waking such young men up and getting them back on track.
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John Taylor Gatto, schoolteacher, talks about this in his lectures and books. Adolescence was unknown to us 140 years ago, and was created to justify mass schooling.
“The most powerful weapon of mass instruction is the artificial extension of childhood.”
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Here’s another video from Think Before You Sleep that shows another facet of simpdom — the Blinding Obsession.
Think Before You Sleep: Why Simps Won’t Listen (2020-1-10) Length: 15:43
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Think Before You Sleep‘s conclusion reminds me of something I read in Lawrence Shannon’s The Predatory Female (loose quote): “You can try to warn your friend of the danger, but if your advice is neither heeded nor welcomed, the only thing you can do is to stand back as your friend gets burned.”
It’s sad to see, but you can only say or do so much.
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Now this type of guy, Simp George, I’ve seen a number of them in the men’s work I’ve done for the last few years now. If they’re not chasing after some good looking, usually younger, single mother who ordinarily wouldn’t give them the time of day, then they’re chasing after some 40 something, still looking good for her age, divorced woman. These ladies wouldn’t give “George” the time of day back in the day because they couldn’t even “see” his existence at the time; however, since he has resources, NOW she’ll entertain the idea of putting up with his SIMPERY just to get at those resources. A classic Manosphere stereotype of the gold digging wh*re.
The interesting dynamic to me in observing this stuff in real time, is the willful stupidity of the Simp. It’s like he’s “landed his catch,” a woman at least a couple of notches above his SMP, who even though she may be a bit past her prime, still has a face and body that can attract male attention. The common denominator among the Simps that I personally know, is they all think they’ve FINALLY got their babe. I think at some level they know better, but to finally have some arm candy, albeit a bit aged, they’re thrilled, just like George in the clip. I just SMH and leave them to their stupidity because they won’t/can’t listen/hear a word you say to them because the “Siren Song” of the good looking woman drowns out everything. I’ve haven’t seen one land in jail yet, like George did in the clip, but it wouldn’t shock me if one of them did. That’s how DUMBASS they are when they’re love struck.
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The most interesting thing I learned about this archetype is the connection to the Oedipal mother. In most psychology books and courses, the Oedipus complex is presented as a son who’s in love with his mother and who feels envious of his father. But the case study of Joey, along with the narrators coverage of Peterson’s lecture about the Oedipal mother, shows the opposite side of the coin which is never presented — that the mother has an insecure attachment to her son and is impulsively possessive of him. The Oedipal son didn’t just develop this closeness to his mother out of a generalized fear or insecurity. The son is actually molded to be this way because of a fearful, insecure, obsessive, controlling mother. This information explains why there are so many simps these days. It’s because they have feminist mothers who are insecure and controlling.
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The son can be a 30+ year old man, but he is still viewed as mother’s “good little boy.” He is never considered to be a man. He might even be told he should get married. Such suggestions are specious at best. The damage was already done, which now makes getting a girlfriend and then marriage next to impossible. Unfortunately, this situation is exacerbated by the Fifth Commandment. The son grows up, in a sense, conflicted and not knowing the difference between honoring parents and being molded by the mother. Feminist mothers can be blamed, but not all mothers are feminist. In such cases, there must be some type of mental illness as the root cause.
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YES!!! I remember struggling with this for a time during my adolescence. For a while, I believed that “honoring parents” meant that I shouldn’t try to buck their emotional/spiritual influence, including some aspects of an unhealthy, insecure attachment with my mother. But as I grew older, and especially after my parents divorced, I realized that I had to get away from their influence and build myself into my own man. The Fifth Commandment really slowed me down in this regard. SMH In many ways, I actually feel thankful that my parents divorced, or otherwise, I may have never realized some important things like this.
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Another name for that is The Devouring Mother. I’ve also heard several content creators (mostly black men) talk about mothers (usually single) turning their boys into son-husbands. Same dynamic, different names.
That was a really thorough breakdown. Thanks!
Think Before You Sleep does a really good job of taking these abstract concepts and showing concrete examples of them. I’m going to use some of his videos as lessons for my boys.
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Think Before You Sleep does a great job breaking down social interactions. Better than I can after almost a decade of Red Pill and 10 years as a sales man. Which is surprising because he has the voice of an incel, but he can really pick apart these things incels are normally outsiders of, like gender dynamics. He had one where he broke down a public speaker’s bad advice and then gave his good advice. It was very good. He doesn’t go into rants which is hard.
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He’s a good example of how important it is to just do the work. He has a terrible voice. That’s not his fault, he just wasn’t blessed with a great voice. I, on the other hand, have a deep bass voice, and I’ve been told since my teens that I should be a radio announcer, or something like that.
But who has the successful YouTube channel?
The guy that did the work.
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I think the added part is essential in explaining the hyper-prevalence of the archtype today. With more single mothers raising boys by themselves than ever in our society, The Simp is one of two archtypes that is the inevitable result (the delinquent criminal being the other).
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An astute observation. Yes, the Simp and the Thug have a lot in common, although it is not outwardly apparent. I will make a note of this in the Summary.
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Some points on Oedipal mothers (devouring mothers):
Oedipal mothers are almost always overbearing women who seek out and marry weak men, or are single mothers, because no man will marry them. Overbearing women and weak men tend to seek each other out. It seems like a good match, at first. The weak man doesn’t want to do the hard work, or take on the responsibilities of headship, and the overbearing woman doesn’t want to submit to a man. They’re perfect for each other, right?
Not so fast. Regardless of their shortcomings, there’s a part of every man that wants to be the head of his wife, and there’s a part of every woman who wants her man to exercise headship. That leads to dissatisfaction, contempt, and conflict. I’ve seen this dynamic in action, and you probably have too.
If they have boys together, the mother then turns to at least one of her boys to fill the emotional void her husband can’t fill (which she, of course, blames on the husband). The problem is that the boy can’t fill that void either. No one can. That’s why some people refer to the Oedipal mother as the devouring mother. The boy keeps pouring, and pouring, and pouring himself into the emotional void, but it’s never filled. She keeps consuming him until there’s nothing left but an empty husk of a man that no one would ever want.
And I just grossed myself out with the unintended double entendres I just wrote.
Anyway, I prefer the term devouring mother, because these mothers oftentimes do something similar to their daughters too, not just their sons.
The devouring mother will oftentimes deliberately make her children unattractive to others by overfeeding them. We see that here. Joey lost 82 lb before the show, and Alex needs to lose a good 50 lb, at least. You’ll see this with girls, too. It’s one of the reasons that children of divorced, and single moms are often fat.
Now, let’s give credit where it’s due. Joey is doing the work. He has a chance. He already lost 82 lb, and he moved out of his parents’ house. Note how, even when he’s playing video games, he’s pedaling on a stationary bike. The kid has a plan, and he’s working his plan.
Hopefully, by now he’s achieved escape velocity. If he did, he deserves a lot of credit, because that’s one hell of a gravity well.
Heaviest objects in the universe:
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Yep. I was just thinking about the daughters in this situation. And it’s kinda fascinating to see the effect. On boys, it makes them simps. But on daughters, it makes them, men? Kevin Samuels did a great job of shining a light on the situation where he literally devoted a whole show to women who’s mothers had lied to them. And it’s all to keep the daughter from 1) being competition to her, and 2) to basically grow up and make their world revolved around the mother.
Last year I matched with a 26-year-old who was like that. In almost all of her pictures, her mother was like her best friend…which is nice, to an extent. But in talking to her, you could tell…if I committed myself to her, it would be like dating a single mom where this woman has to account for her mother’s schedule and plans as well.
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On topic: not all geeks are simps.
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True, but techlead is a simp. He’s a crypto grifter now, and the video he did about his divorce shows him to be quite the simp.
At least that’s my opinion on techlead.
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I don’t know anything about him, so I’ll assume you’re right.
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I think of simps as the guys that are giving money to women on the internet through sites like Onlyfans and Twitch. A non-manosphere guy has a good video with some interviews with subscribers and creators. This is driven by loneliness as large numbers of young men have few if any friends in real life. I’m sure some of this is caused by bad mothers but young people in general are more disconnected from real life.
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