The overprotected, undersocialized, Oedipal mommy’s boy.
Author’s Note: H/T: Oscar.
Length: 2,600 words
Reading Time: 15:30 minute video (Summary of transcript requires 9 minutes reading time.)
This video says it all.
Think Before You Sleep: How Simps Are Born (2020-2-28) Length: 15:30
Case Study 1 – Joey and Speed Dating at Comic Con
Joey: I’m Joey and I’m a huuuge geek!
Joey’s friend: Whoever you find, she’s got to be able to bring back home to Mom.
Joey: I’m not looking for much. I just want to find a girl who will give me hugs and kisses and isn’t my mother.
[Joey’s mother ridicules him for meeting women at a speed dating session at Comic Con.]
Joey: …my mom likes me where I am right now, living at home with her. So as far as she’s concerned… any woman in my life is a threat.
Narrator: I think it’s funny to watch someone who is over 300 pounds [Joey’s mother] call girls who go to Comic Con “undesirable.” That lack of perspective is why your son is still living with you indefinitely at 25 years old.
Narrator: What does interest me in this situation is the deep desire for these guy’s mothers to keep them from developing socially so that they remain as adult children forever.
Jordan Peterson : …so the Oedipal situation, roughly speaking, is when a child is seriously overprotected — usually a male child by his mother — and so the relationship between the husband and the wife was either strained or non-existent and the wife would often turn to the child to be what she isn’t getting from the husband.
Jordan Peterson : The Oedipal mother basically entices the child and says, “Look, here’s the deal. You don’t have to do anything, but you don’t get to leave. But if you don’t leave and you don’t do these difficult things, then I’ll take care of you.” And so the reason she does that is because she’s lonesome and doesn’t have anybody else around and you know, maybe she’s also deeply, Deeply, DEEPLY terrified that if she helps that boy grow up, he will leave and she’ll have nothing.
Narrator: Our main character Joey’s situation is not the end result of having a large spider-man collection. I mean, the Avengers and the Marvel Cinematic Universe proved that there are a whole boatload of normies who are into comic book heroes, as long as the stories are good. What has actually happened is that no one has taught Joey, or taught any of the men who were on Geek Love, how to be men, and as Jorden Peterson suggested, this epidemic of adult children is occurring because there are no men in the house or the men are weak and the moms aren’t setting their sons up with a strength to deal with reality. In fact, a lot of those mothers are actively sabotaging their sons, because honestly, these guys aren’t incapable of being adults. Both of the examples of men I have on this video are guys who are completely capable of being independent, but their mothers are holding them back.
Narrator: They’re selfishly holding their sons back so they can simp for them […] and what this is essentially saying is something really queer and kind of disgusting…
Narrator: Joey admits that his mom is afraid of him leaving. She’s afraid her son will leave because she knows she has very little value as a person. She knows she is so cruel and mean-spirited that she could never have real friends or build a strong relationship with other family members, or God forbid, her own husband! So what she does is takes her son’s dependence on her from childhood, never lets him do anything difficult so he’s always dependent on her, and finally beats him down at every point while he’s dependent so he constantly seeks her approval. You can see her doing this on the show, even though she’s being polite for the camera.
Joey: Don’t you want me to find… a nice girl to bring home?
Joey’s mother: [In a whiny voice] I don’t think that’s the place to find a nice girl…
Narrator: [Mocking Joey’s mother] Why would you want to date a girl at Comic Con? Those girls are weird. They do drugs and… they aren’t good for you!
Narrator: You see how she’s giving him negative feedback when he tries to be independent? The end result of this is that his mom has him right where she wants him. He isn’t able to do anything difficult because he always relies on her and he is so desperate for her approval that he does things that turn other people off. For example, he gets a date with a girl after the speed-dating session and for their very first date they go home to meet his mom and play video games!
[Scenes from Joey meeting a girl at the speed dating event and bringing her home to meet his parents and play video games.]
Narrator: Joey’s need for approval is his mom’s self-defense mechanism — to make sure that he simps for his mom instead of some other girl — because the first thing a girl is going to think when he brings her home to mommy on a first date is, “This guy is weird!”
[More scenes from Joey’s date.]
Narrator: …you can really see the detrimental effect that Joey’s mom has had on him because he was extremely lacking any dating experience at 25, which is something he feels bad about. But when he does the speed-dating event and shows his personality, he ends up being the most popular guy!
[Scenes from speed dating event at Comic Con.]
Joey’s friend: Joey nails it! Every girl writes their number on his paper.
Narrator: [Joey is] someone who is perfectly capable of achieving what he wants, but his mom, for her own selfish desires, is holding him back, while his dad basically just sits in the background.
Narrator: Now I haven’t been able to figure out what has happened to Joey in the 7 years since this was filmed, but it seems to me that he was in the process of escaping his mother’s grasp before this show was filmed. He lost 80 pounds and after the show was filmed, he moved out of his parent’s house.
Joey: Hey, it’s me, Joey! What speed dating at Comic-Con taught me was that… it’s very hard to have to bring girls over to the house to introduce them to my mom, or to hang out here at my house if my mom’s going to basically be questioning whether or not they’re virgins or what their motives are with me or anything like that… This entire experience taught me that it’s time to move out.”
Narrator: Even though it appears that Joey made it out, I can’t help but think about the people who don’t make it, or the people who are less fortunate…
Case Study 2 – Alex
Alex: Hi! I’m Alex. I am 25 and I am a giiiant geek! My love life status is a mix of forever alone and socially awkward penguin…. It’s meantastic! I’m a Renaissance geek! I like comics. I like board games. I love Doctor Who, and I am also brony [a male fan of My Little Pony].
Narrator: Now of course, it’s very easy to make fun of Alex. He is a 25-year-old who lives with his parents. He’s overweight. He has an awkward beard, and he watches My Little Pony. Unfortunately, you don’t get to see Alex’s parents like you do with Joey, but there is a reason the “mother’s basement” stereotype exists. There’s a formula to create guys like Alex and an overprotective Oedipal mother is how you do it.
Narrator: So of course you could make fun of them, but I don’t think that behavior is productive, because it’s guys like Alex who would do anything for a woman just to get her approval. This means he is an easy target to be manipulated by women and a great vessel for toxic female behavior to be developed. And if you think that it’s just the attractive ones that engage in this bad behavior then you would be wrong.
[Scenes of Alex talking with Carolyn, a young woman at the Comic Con speed dating event.]
Carolyn: What kind of girl do you want to meet when you go to Con? [Chatter]
Alex: I guess you but not crazy and hyper.
Carolyn: So you essentially want my non-evil twin.
Alex: Yeah, I guess!
Carolyn: That’s a little creepy, Alex. [Alex laughs.]
Alex: Some of my challenges with girls are just the girls that I really do like that I’m really interested in. I just wannabe friends.
Narrator: This girl Carolyn who is not an 8, 9, or 10, or even a 7, knows Alex really likes her. Instead of being completely honest with him and shutting him down so he doesn’t sit there and orbit her for the rest of his life, she keeps him around and… gives him dating advice. Clearly no one has taught Alex anything about women, so he doesn’t know this, but she is not doing this stuff because they are “friends”. She’s doing this because she likes the attention he gives her and she’s giving him dating advice because she thinks he’s pathetic.
[Scene where Carolyn discovers that Alex is a brony.]
Narrator: If she [Carolyn] really wanted to help, then she wouldn’t friend zone him and participate in this weird relationship. But she isn’t going to do that because women don’t do things like that. [Instead,] they like collecting resources and she knows that she can eventually use Alex’s attraction to her to get him to do stuff for free. The most productive thing we can do in this situation is to make sure guys like Alex don’t become simps for women.
Narrator: This reminds me of a comment that gets thrown around by people who are anti-MGTOW where they say, “MGTOW are just incels in denial. They are only Red Pill because they can’t get women.”
Narrator: You know what? Mission accomplished! [Let’s] Red Pill all the incels, because at least then they won’t be enabling bad behavior from women. At the very least, maybe they will stop making everything about women and actually get their lives together. And this is not just some impossible feat for Alex or guys like him. Alex is not retarded. Alex is not autistic. He is just unskilled. The reason he doesn’t converse well is because he hasn’t practiced very much.
Narrator: Now there are two important aspects of building the skill.
- Exposure to new experiences.
Narrator: That is how skill develops, and you can actually see this happening with Alex during this episode when Alex goes on to his first speed date. He is absolutely terrible!
[Scene of Alex awkwardly initiating a conversation at Comic Con.]
Narrator: Just look at that! In his first conversation, he can barely even speak! But after a little practice he gets way better.
[Scenes of Alex making conversation at Comic Con.]
Narrator: He exposed himself to a new experience which was speed dating. He practiced with 30 different people during the event and by the end of the event he got significantly better. After that, he really only needs to fix one thing in terms of conversation, which is that he comes off as weird, and the reason that happens is because he’s saying absolutely everything on his mind and he doesn’t filter out unnecessary information.
[Scene of Alex moving in on Kate, a red head who is giving him IOIs.]
Narrator: [Jordan Peterson said] that he came to a point in his life where he decided to stop saying things that make him weak.
Narrator: In the previous clip you can see Alex sitting with the girl who likes him [Kate] and he offers to walk her back to her booth. Not exactly a date, but good enough for him. Then immediately after he offers to walk with her, he says, of course she could just walk back by herself. Do you see how that second statement destroys his offer to spend more time with her and makes him look weird? If he had simply not said that, he may not have gotten rejected by her as soon as they walked out of the room.
Jack: In spite of their nerdiness, I thought Alex and Kate would make a pretty good couple. But apparently, Alex’s self-negation (plus the likelihood that she picked up with another guy instead) blew his chances with her. Self-negating statements like this put the brakes on Tingles. She laughed it off, but her IOIs immediately shifted to IOCs. You can feel her disappointment suddenly come through in a fake smile. She may have even taken it as an IOC from him. Maybe it was, and maybe not as an IOC towards her, but towards himself. Maybe she only offered to walk around Comic Con with him in order to have more attention through the camera.
Alex: [Dejected] What happened at the speed dating was that, I’m talking to Kate basically on camera. [After the] cameras are off and we walked away… and what happened was that, basically, she told me after about a minute that she just wanted to be friends. So basically, kind of nothing ever happened. Of course I understand, but it was kind of depressing.
Narrator: …it’s not just Alex who does this kind of stuff. He may be worse than the average person, but everyone is guilty at some point of doing what he did. The key to good conversation is to start thinking about the best things you can say versus whatever insecure ideas come into your head first. I mean, [everyone should get into the habit of] casting out all the bad ideas so we can focus on the things that actually matter and the things [we] have good evidence for. And this can be expanded to every aspect of your being. You can start systematically getting rid of the things that make you weak.
Narrator: Imagine what Alex’s life would be like if you took a razor and shaved that awful looking beard! Imagine how much better he would be if he lost about 120 pounds! Imagine what his life would be like if he stopped spending $5,000 a year on video games and comics and instead invested that into himself! That’s how you start living a life that’s fulfilling instead of wallowing in self-pity while being taken advantage of by women you like who don’t like you back. When you start focusing on bettering your own standing, you will stop caring about which women like you and which women don’t.
Simps have a wide spectrum of personalities with a mixed bag of traits. For example, some Simps (like Joey) can display quite a bit of frame control, especially within their field of interest, but other than this, Strength is a recurrent weakness. In terms of Honor, many of them have a solid sense of identity and self-esteem, but are sorely lacking in reputation and social status. Authority is also highly variable. Many Simps have developed considerable authority in formal education or within their areas of interest, however, they are embarassingly deficient in power and influence. Likewise with Respect, as some Simps have well-developed abilities and skills in specific areas, but overall, they lack certain other qualities that would allow them to earn respect from others. Similar to Strength, Purpose is also a weak suit with the possible expection of discipline, as any ambitions they might have are subsumed into their mother’s frame.
The probabilities of distribution are skewed to the right, meaning that relatively fewer Simps have higher scores in these areas.
Average Score: 2-3.5
- Jordan Peterson: Overbearing Mothers (2017-4-30)