If women are so Pure and Lovely then why is talking about them so Filthy?
Readership: Men; Single Men;
Theme: Faux-Masculine Archetypes
Length: 1,300 words
Reading Time: 4.5 minutes
There’s a common impression that “All men want is sex, Sex, SEX!” This is most noticeable in secular culture, as there are countless examples of articles and blogs that make passing reference to this impression of men.
Here’s one such example.
“…women across the board are entirely fed up with trying to find that one single guy out there who isn’t trying to have sex with them on the first date.”Evie Magazine: How You Can Have Higher Value in the Sexual Marketplace
But this impression is not limited to secular culture. It also occurs within Christianity.
Yes, even Christian men have this assumption that men are horndogs, and frequently characterize certain men as such!
Here’s a noteworthy example.
I consider Bruce Charlton to be a leading Christian philosopher of the day. I’ve cited his work on occasion. Over at Adam’s place, he wrote this comment about MGTOW forums.
“I can only assume that the authors and commenters are unaware of how self-revealing their quasi-scientific analyses of ‘women’ really are. How such a discourse can self-identify as Christian is evidence only of the vast human capacity for self-deception.
I speak as an ex scholar and researcher in Evolutionary Psychology dating back to 1994 – with an interest in evolved sex differences – so it’s not like I don’t know of the research concerning the kind of stuff the MGTOW’s incompetently purport to be concerned by; but so egregiously misrepresent.
At a more personal level; I find it phony, creepy and unmanly to observe grown-up men gossiping (and sharing experiences) about women’s behaviour at length and repeatedly. It’s something that ought to be discouraged, not indulged under cover of pseudonyms.”
I’m taken aback by Bruce’s criticism!
Granted, MGTOW forums can be pretty raunchy, but at the most basic level, this is what men do. A man who never expresses any interest in such matters, and/or avoids discussion of the same, is either geriatric or is testosterone deficient.
Besides, thanks to “grown-up men gossiping (and sharing experiences) about women’s behavior”, we now have a wealth of information to help us understand and deal with women, i.e. The Red Pill.
But Charlton’s idea of Masculinity is that a man should never touch on any analysis of women’s behavior because that would be “self-revealing”, nor should a man even talk with other men about his experiences with women, because that’s “phony, creepy, and unmanly.”
According to my understanding of Christianity, revealing one’s self is an integral part of fellowship, trust, self-discovery, confession, repentance, and growth!
Personally speaking, writing this blog and discussing these matters with other Christian men helps to keep me sharp when assessing my own marriage and in dealing with my wife.
We should not be surprised to see such talk come out of secular men’s mouths. But for Christian men, it’s a little different. There are a multitude of Bible verses urging Christians to clean up their speech.
- Psalm 19:14
- Proverbs 15:2
- Matthew 12:36-37
- Matthew 15:11
- Luke 6:45
- Ephesians 5:4
- Philippians 4:8
- Colossians 3:8
- Colossians 4:6
Perhaps the most pertinent verse within this context is this one.
“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”Ephesians 4:29 (ESV)
From this verse, we find four key conditions for such talk.
- “no corrupting talk” — It leads men closer to knowing God, and away from sin.
- “building up” — It serves to teach, exhort, and admonish other men.
- “fits the occasion” — Be wary of the social context and the overall impact on others.
- “may give grace” — It invites humility and introspection, and it revives vision and purpose.
On point (1), talking about such things can be either a confession or a profession. Those who are guilty and/or ashamed are unwilling to open up and talk about it. Those who talk about it may be less likely to do something wrong.
On point (2), there needs to be at least one discerning man in the group to steer conversations away from foolish and unprofitable talk, and guide men towards a greater knowledge of themselves and how to apply the truth to their lives.
On point (3), there are times and places when talking about sex and women is inappropriate and some topics and phrases are degrading. But that’s exactly why men go to Red Pill or MGTOW forums etc. to discuss such things. That is the right place to engage in such conversations. Unfortunately, even many church sponsored men’s groups do not offer a fitting occasion to delve into such matters.
As for point (4), men have a right to discuss what they want, how they want. A lot of men hang around to teach and train. Men do this for camaraderie, belonging, and fellowship. Why begrudge men that?
While I was brainstorming for different kinds of faux-Masculine archetypes, the Lecherous Horndog came to my mind as a prominent concept of males. But as I was studying this and reading up on some examples in which this characterization of men is used, I realized that it’s not a true faux archetype; it’s only a faux conceptualization of normal men’s sexuality that is cast on men in order to demonize their sexuality. So this post will not include a Masculinity Rating.
Concerning the overall criticism of men being constantly obsessed with sex, I suspect that whenever such a characterization of a man (or men in general) is used, it is not devoid of ulterior motives. At least some of it is adopted as a form of virtue signaling and/or social distancing from the person in question. Other purposes for implementing this image may include…
- Attention — Chick crack
- Legalism / Purity Culture
- Self-Righteous feeels good
- Virtue Signaling — “I am better than him.”
- Casting Offence — For the sake of creating drama.
- To cast shame and/or derision on the man or men being named.
- Making a distinction of what is perceived to be socially acceptable.
- Displaying indignance, which is a self gratifying expression of pride.
- Social Distancing — To distance one’s self from the man or men being named.
- To identify one’s self as being different from that, viz. not having that behavior.
- Maybe others?
All this basically boils down to deti’s axiom and/or Scott’s axiom — You’re NOT a lecherous horn dog “only if she thinks you’re hot.”
Instead of taking such a statement personally, a man may do well to interpret such derision as an attribution error or a form of projection. Of course, discernment and introspection are required as usual.
In closing, I’ll very kindly point out that women are 10 times worse! And not only in talk, but also in deed, and they’ll keep it all top secret. And yet, a woman has to be undeniably, unmistakably, and utterly defiled before she’ll be classified as a 304. Meanwhile, otherwise decent men are recast as perverts for merely thinking about sex or talking about women objectively. So even if Christian men took care to watch their mouths, this may be insufficient towards preventing them from being seen as a horndog. The reason is because one loose accusatory word from a woman does much damage, especially in these times when men are guilty simply by accusation.
BTW, the scripture verses above apply to women too.
- The Other McCain: Holy Crap! Oregon Prosecutor Confirms National Enquirer Al Gore Sex Scandal (2010-6-23)
- Hommunism: Sweden: How feminist emasculation broke a State (2018 December 19)
- Σ Frame (Jack): Eunuchs of the New Feminist Order (2019-8-31)
- Σ Frame (Jack): 6 Fundamental Goals Feminists have for Social Change. (2020-9-18)
- Σ Frame (Jack): Redefining Manhood as Boyish Immaturity (2021-6-14)
- Σ Frame (Thedeti): Disclosing the Taboo of Masculine Sexuality (2021-10-20)
- Σ Frame (Jack): The Young Man’s Problem (2022-2-4)
- Spawny’s Space (Jack): Musings on The Princess and the Frog and The Poon Effect (2022-5-26)