The Mystery of Glorifying a Provision for the Flesh

A trip to see the pastor, priest, or reverend won’t fix marital ills.

Readership: Christians
Theme: Church Policy and Sacramental Marriage
Length: 1,000 words
Reading Time: 5 minutes

Is Sacramental Marriage a Ritual or a Relationship?

I gave my assessment of Sacramental Marriage in the Closing Statements of the last post, Sacramental Soteriology (2023/6/19).  But there is still some confusion about whether “sacrament” refers to a ritual or to the nature of marriage itself.  Derek L. Ramsey and Ed Hurst are convinced that it is a ritual, whereas DPMonahan (Catholic) has presented a snapshot of Sacramental Marriage as an ongoing harmony (if we withhold quibbling over whether marriage is a contract / covenant / sacrament / etc.).  On this he writes,

“The sacrament is not the ceremony, the sacrament is still the contract, here between baptized persons. It is not merely the moment of agreeing to the contract, but the sacrament is sustained over the life of it (i.e. until one of the persons dies). The point of the ceremony is to help ensure that the contract is formally correct, which is why in modern times the church requires it, but that was not always the case.”

St. Wilfrid’s Church, Preston, Lancashire, England, built in 1793.

“Sacraments can fail: i.e. the person receiving the grace can resist it.

The grace of marriage is supposed to result in greater conformity to Christ and therefore a greater participation in the joy of heaven. So the natural institution of marriage becomes something supernatural, having effects not just in the natural plane but also on the supernatural.”

In my writings, I am generously assuming the latter is the case, i.e. that Sacramental Marriage is a sanctified relationship, and that “sacramental” is Catholish for “sanctified” in Protestantese.  If not, then I guess it is up to Catholics to sort this out for themselves. I suspect that most of them don’t really know or have never thought about it.

Ecumenical Differences

Some big differences that are apparent to me are as follows.

Cathodoxy emphasizes (1) the supernatural phenomenon (viz. the mystery) of marriage, (2) that couples understand what is required of them, and that (3) they take the commitment to heart; whereas Protestants focus on (1) establishing marital harmony and (2) social integration, and (3) individual responsibility.

Another difference is that where Protestantism expects individual couples to work out their own issues in the setting of continued fellowship in the church, Cathodoxy explicitly says it is required as a matter of salvation / sanctification. The formal ceremonies reflect these perspectives.

Of course, all these aspects of marriage and others are important, but as mentioned in previous posts and as we can also observe, both the Cathodox and Protestant viewpoints have their own sets of weaknesses too.

The Penny Wedding, by Sir David Wilkie (1785-1841).

A curious irony about all this is that where Protestantism professes to believe salvation comes by faith alone, and Cathodoxy emphasizes conformity to church sacraments, in practice, it is Protestants who tend to do more “works” in relation to faith, while Cathodoxes tend to coast on church identification and sacramental duties.*

It’s kinda like that whack-a-mole game.  If one area is restricted, human ambition will pop out somewhere else; whereas if it is liberalized, it will stagnate.

It’s also like what I have observed about unique laws that are instituted around the world that are not laws anywhere else: The offense that is made punishable by a weird law is a big underlying problem in that society that everyone would be doing if not restricted by the same law.  For example, divorce is outlawed in the Philippines (a predominantly Catholic state) precisely because everyone there would divorce if it were permitted by law.* Another example is how Singapore outlaws spitting gum on the sidewalk.

Another similar irony is how Protestants emphasize social integration, but Cathodoxy is characterized by more unity.*

Like Derek (Protestant) is always talking about “unity”, but he’s eager to sacrifice the opportunity for the sake of engaging in polemics, and then justifying this with some religious principle.*

The same old Red Pill axiom for sizing up women also applies in matters of religious beliefs; slightly altered to, “Watch what they DO, NOT what they SAY they believe.”

* These are my own first-hand impressions / observations.

A Peasant Family at Lunch (1895), by Albert Neuhuijs (1844-1914).

Saving Grace or Salvific Grace?

Another big difference and/or source of confusion is in exactly what “grace” means and what that entails, namely, is “grace” a soteriological issue (viz. “saving grace”) or is it more about getting something better than what you deserve in the area of marriage (viz. “ordinary grace”)?

I addressed this question in the second section of the second post in this series, Regulations vs. Reality (2023/5/30).  Readers kicked this around in the comments under this post, but in the end, it was concluded that Catholics, Orthodox, and Protestants seem to be talking about the same things using different words — a problem I addressed in Ecumenical Translations (2023/6/18).

Derek L. Ramsey disagreed and wrote a commentary about this discussion in his post, What is Grace? (2023/6/14).

In his post, There Is No Sacrament (2023/5/15), Ed Hurst stated,

“Grace … either happens or it does not.  God chooses; the initiative is totally in His hands.  He puts His grace on you at His whim.”

The current broken state of the SMP/MMP makes “ordinary grace” very difficult and/or chancy to find.  However, it is also assumed that God is in control and that this is a good thing.  If one humbles himself and draws closer to God, then He will draw closer to you.  James 4 speaks pertinently to this question, and also to the nature of all the disagreement here.  I encourage readers to prayerfully read through this passage.  Furthermore, we should be seeking God’s love, not wimminz love.  This is the basis of what I’ve called Christian Detachment (2023/1/30).  If you’re seeking wimminz love first and foremost, then God Himself will make sure that you are disappointed in that endeavor.

Aside from all the discussions about this, I think it is important for the reader to nail down his own understanding of grace and put his restless mind at peace about this.  The whole reason many of us continue to hang out in the Christian Manosphere is because we’re disappointed with marriage, some even to the point of losing faith, and we are looking for some expression of God’s grace to manifest in our lives.

Red Pill truths can certainly offer a bittersweet salve to our pain, but ultimately we are dependent on God.  All we can do is sort out the reasons for our sufferings and repent of any shortcomings or misgivings.  Considering the state of the church these days, church cannot help us in this regard, other than as a place of fellowship and worship.  We shouldn’t be relying primarily on church as a crutch when we should be praying and looking to God Himself for help.

Related

• Donal Graeme: What We Mean By Marriage (2014/6/14)
• The Southern Cross: History of the Sacrament of Marriage (2019/9/24)
• Darwin Catholic: When A Marriage is not a Marriage (2023/1/22)
• Σ Frame: Regulations vs. Reality (2023/5/30)
• Christianity and Masculinity: Moral agency and sex define a marriage (2023/6/14)