Now Christian men must be members of the noble class to do the housework.
Over the weekend, there was a hot discussion over at reddit/RPChristians. Formaggiofritto wrote this screed which has attracted more than a hundred comments so far.
As men, you need to do better
I was raised in a very traditional Christian family with traditional Christian values. Honestly, I would consider myself to be a catch. I am eager to one day fulfill my role as a Godly, submissive wife. I’m an excellent cook, I enjoy cleaning, I love children and have a lot of experience working with them, and I would consider myself to be fairly attractive. I don’t wear a ton of makeup, but I have waist length blonde hair, green eyes, am well proportioned, and given the amount of male attention I receive, I would deduce that I am an attractive woman.
However, the likelihood of attracting a traditional man is very slim. So I am also highly educated. I speak three languages, and have a master’s degree in chemical engineering. My grandpa was a car mechanic so he also taught me to do all my car maintenance (within reason, like oil changes, tire rotations, changing brake pads, etc.). I have no debt, make a lot of money, and when it comes to living my life, I don’t exactly “need” a man to survive. I however, would very much like to be married to a good leader and fulfill my role as a submissive wife one day.
Traditional men are honestly a disappointment. They want the perks of having a submissive wife who does the housework and cooking, but they also want the perks of a working wife. Every man I have dated expected me to continue working after having children, as I have made more money than every man I have dated. However, they balked at the idea of sharing housework. Why is it expected I will work 40+ hours a week while doing full childcare and housework? A stay at home mom is a full time job, and that has been a deal breaker in every relationship I have been in.
While I would dearly love to be a stay at home mom one day, I can accept if it is not possible. I also enjoy my work immensely. But I’m really starting to get sick of traditional men. What ever happened to paying for dates, planning dates, wooing me, opening doors, buying me flowers, standing when I enter a room, asking my father for permission, etc.? I feel like traditional values that men hold are now completely one sided and I am extremely disappointed. They want a traditional and submissive woman, but they don’t hold up their end of the bargain. Do better please.
By jove, she’s a unicorn!
Every man is looking for a unicorn, but being a self-professing unicorn is not enough to get into marriage. To be qualified for marriage, both the man and the woman must build a relationship that glorifies Christ, not just one that glorifies the woman.
In the comments, she added a few more statements which are appended below with my own comments.
“What ever happened to paying for dates, planning dates, wooing me, opening doors, buying me flowers, standing when I enter a room, asking my father for permission, etc.?”
“I want a man to open my door, stand when I enter, and treat me with respect if he expects me to be submissive.”
She doesn’t know what submissive means. She’s basically saying, “Because you are my puppet husband, lord and master, I henceforth command you to be attentive to my wishes! Plan a romantic date! Open this door so that I may make a noble entrance! Buy me flowers! Do the housework! Of course, you shall also pay the costs of all these luxuries, and you shall be thankful that I have chosen you for this honor.”
I’m a little confused about what she really means here. Does she expect to be formally courted (19th century style) by a sophisticated man who is kind, courteous, and has the refined mannerisms of an English earl? Or does she want a Chivalrous soyboy who eagerly jumps through all her $ћ!t Test hoops at her beck and call, and who bends over forward on his knees to fulfill her every whimsical phantasm in the vain hope of yearning sex? She probably won’t find the former (because western culture no longer does the courtship thing), and she would never be satisfied with the latter.
Women have been spoiled by Chivalry just as much as men have.
“…what would you consider to be a meaningful accomplishment?”
The answer to this question is so simple, yet women consistently fail (or refuse) to get it right.
A real virgin (capable of achieving marital sanctification), under 25, long hair, slim and fit, good health, fertile, trusting, kind hearted, humble, submissive, respectful, God fearing, has a good relationship with her father, and no tattoos or weird piercings.
…and here’s the shocker, ladies… there is absolutely nothing else that matters at all!
“It’s like men cherry pick how things should be, they want the submissive wife, but they also want her to work and clean and cook. That’s a ridiculous expectation.”
Again, she doesn’t know what submissive means. A woman who willingly does the housework, and does it joyfully is a submissive wife. But on the whole, maybe she’s right. These days, expecting a woman to be joyful in doing menial service is ridiculous.
“I’m a little bitter perhaps, but it’s after a string of boyfriends who were basically expecting a housekeeper and nanny who would have sex with them and contribute financially.”
Women get an ego kick out of feigning indignant surprise, but there is no surprise here. As I said earlier, sex is the crux of marriage, so you should expect that married men will want lots of sex from their wives.
Moreover, men will never commit to marriage unless it is an obvious benefit to them, especially in this age of easy no-fault divorce. If a man marries a woman, then he’ll expect her to make his life easier, not harder. That’s what it means to be a “helper”, as the Bible states of wives. Helpers can choose whom to help, but they can’t make demands. If she thinks she is entitled to make her own demands, then she is not being submissive. She is assuming a man’s role, and has thereby disqualified herself from being a man’s helper.
“[The men I’ve dated] balked at the idea of sharing housework. Why is it expected I will work 40+ hours a week while doing full childcare and housework?”
These are your own expectations, not men’s. Aside from an extenuating circumstance, traditional men do not expect their wife to hold down a full-time job outside the home.
In general, men do not care about housework. They would prefer to live in a dusty warehouse filled with tools, machines, old cars, motorcycles, and other cool stuff, sweep the floor with a leaf blower, and take the trash out once a week. It is women who want a living environment reminiscent of Better Homes and Gardens. A man might be happy to do the mortgage payments, remodeling, and maintenance on such a home, but it will be up to the woman to make it as clean as she pleases.
About child care? ROFL! Please! It’s true that a father’s influence is extremely important, but have you ever seen the movie, Three Men and a Baby?
From what I can see, she made a big mistake when she chose to spend 6+ years pursuing a master’s degree instead of shopping for a husband. A post graduate education is for those women who are unfit for marriage and are forced to support themselves. Maybe she thought earning an advanced degree would put her in the proximity of professional men, and this might have helped her land a better husband, but it also put her into a much higher bracket of competition. How many tall, handsome, single, Christian men with Ph.D.s does she think there are in the world? And how many women are competing for those few men? And if she did find such a man, then why should he be so eager to offer her (and only her) his lifetime commitment in marriage?
Now if a woman’s goal is only to have sex with lots of professional men, then pursuing higher education is definitely the right choice! But marriage? …meh.
She is proud of her “achievements”, such as her education and handy man skills, but she doesn’t realize that men think nothing of those things, and everything about the things I listed above. A master’s degree in STEM probably means she is in her late 20s, and I find it hard to believe that she retained her virginity over all that time. But virgin or not, she already missed the boat. The shadow of the dreaded Wall now loometh, henceforth the frustrations expressed in her post. As some commenters at RPChristians have said, her only hope is in prayer and the grace of God.
Ladies, you cannot fight against nature. Marriage is primarily for procreation (e.g. sex and having children), and women only have about 15 years for childbearing. Marriage minded men want a woman’s youth and fertility more than anything else. If you really must have it all, a husband, children and a post graduate education and a professional career, then you need to do the husband and children thing first while you are young. When your husband’s career has gained momentum, and the children reach an age of independence, then you can pursue your own interests — education and career if that’s what you really want. The good news is that your career doesn’t care how old you are.
As an afterthought (which should have been your first consideration), you might want to consider what might be God’s will for your life. Oh yeah, that! Gee, how silly of you to forget God.
She is like a Christian version of Tomi Lahren, sans carousel and pro-abortion stance. Something tells me that we’re going to see a lot more women like these spill out of the SMP pipeline in the next few years. Generation Z will identify themselves as generational cohorts by their shared memories of Karen’s, Katie’s, and Tomi’s during their childhood.
Wait, I can think of one solution. Let’s just take Formaggiofritto’s word at face value. If we could somehow reignite 19th century Victorian courtship, where all Christian men were chivalrous noblemen, landed, born and bred, preferably with a STEM Ph.D., and who have a butler or maid to help with the housework, then this generation of trad thots could optimize both their careers and their hypergamous instincts. So from this perspective, she’s right. Men need to do better!
Nice try, but Meghan Markle has already shown that not just anyone can be elite.
- Red Pill Dad: Tomi Lahren, ladies…welcome to the #metoo of hypergamy. (2020 August 10)
- Mogadishu Matt: Tomi Lahren Posting and Video Roundup (2020 August 12)
- Didact’s Reach: Tradthot is Thot (2020 August 19)