Exposing the Negotiative Mentality

If she wants to “do business”, then present your business strategy.

Readership: Men
Theme: Rationalism
Length: 900 words
Reading Time: 5 minutes

The Demanding vs. Negotiative Mentality

When a wife is saying, “[Husband] should do X, Y, Z”, then she is being demanding. I’ve covered how to handle demands before.  The standard way for a man to deal with demands from women is to be more demanding of her than she is of you.

But when a wife is saying that “[Husband] should do X, Y, Z, … BECAUSE [Wife] does A, B, C”, then she is being negotiative or transactional.  She’s also comparing her opinion of you to her view of herself.

The standard way of handling demands by being more demanding may not work in this case.  If she is a lazy or passive wife, then she might fold.  But if she is the type of person who is always pushing for excellence and improvement (which a lot of women do, including good women), then it turns into brinkmanship and one-up-manship that puts ever more pressure on the man because it is essentially a competition of who can outdo the other.  Although this dynamic might be beneficial for personal improvement, a man has to watch that it never crosses the line into a competition of ‘Equals’ as women would like to think that it is.

There is a very easy way to put the brakes on the showmanship, if deemed necessary.

Simply expose her negotiative mentality for what it is.  Take the negotiation above the table and make it obvious that the relationship has degenerated into a tit-for-tat.  Make it clear that she is “doing business”, and if that’s how she wants to do things, then you’re quite happy to “do business” with her likewise, and give her the proper treatment like the Wh0re that she is insisting on being.

Examples

Here are a few examples of exposing the negotiative / transactional mentality, listed from least to most nuclear.

If she demands more attention, chivalry, consideration, ‘Re$pEcT’, etc., then you can return with a request for more of the behavior you would like to see from her.

“If you expect to be treated like a lady, then you’ll need to talk like one.”

Because women’s mental powers typically reach their maximum level in the 9^th grade (or whenever mammary glands sprout and V Power takes over), it is expedient to add time qualifiers to each request.

“… Today!”

“… at ALL times!”

If she says, “I do all this X, Y, Z stuff for you.  What have you done for me?”

You should respond, “No.  You have NOT done what I’ve asked you to do.  You’ve only done what YOU think needs done or what you feeel like doing.  I will not “do business” / love / pay / reward / etc. you for that.”

If she assumes the role of a judge and throws out random insults, “You’re bad / boring / dinky dicked / lazy / low-end / worthless / etc.”

You could sigh heavily and say, “What do I need to DO, to teach a CHIMP, how to TALK like a LADY?”

Or,

“If you talked to your boss that way, you would be fired during the first week on the job.”

She might respond, “Yeah, but you’re not my boss.”

Just answer, “No, I’m your L0v!nG husband.” (“L0v!nG” said with heavy sarcasm.)  “I can be your boss too, if that’s what it would take for you to get your lazy / self-centered @ss in gear.  [Pregnant pause for emphasis.]  Tell you what, I’ll pay you four dollars and thirty-sex cents an hour (some random but specific low wage), which is about what your $eRv!cEs are worth to me … AND I’ll fire your @ss out the door at the first sign of disobedience or disrespect — just like your boss would do!  If you’re interested, we can draw up an employment contract Right Now!  I expect you to wear a black mini-dress to the interview.  If you think you can wear the pants in this house, then you won’t get the job.”

Parting Shots

YMMV of course.

Some women will breathe a sigh of relief to have an authoritative man lay down the law and give them a sense of security, although they’ll certainly deny it and fight tooth and nail against it all the way.

Other women will pack their suitcases and move in with their boss, or ‘friend’, or somebody … anybody, really.  Be assured that the ‘rescuer’ who can make you the most angry or jealous will be her first pick.  They might even destroy the house in a fit of relentless anger, or file for a divorce as a last-ditch option for retaining dominance and independence.

Remember, they desire Freedom without Responsibility, just like a child.

As always, you must be prepared for the worst outcome possible, in order to attain the best outcome possible.  Don’t buckle, or else she’ll break you at your weakest point.  Don’t be caught off guard, or else she’ll make you beg for mercy.

Remember, the mark of a man is the extent to which he will go to achieve his purposes.

All the Best~!

Update

Deep Strength has written a follow-up essay about an easy way to handle demands from a congenial wife.

• Christianity and Masculinity: Say Please! (2025/11/25)

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