Single moms can’t escape the shame.

Shame on those who forsake the Feminist Life Script to have a child.

Readership: Men
Theme: Wives and Mothers
Length: 2,800 words
Reading Time: 14 minutes

Introduction

In The normalization of the trashy single mother. (2012/10/18), Dalrock noted,

“With the exception of widows, single mothers have traditionally faced strong social stigma.  Feminists have made removing this stigma a priority as it is essential in order to free women from the reciprocal obligations which traditionally have come with motherhood.  Feminism is far more about removing women’s responsibilities than it is about increasing women’s rights, so this is a critical area of focus for feminism.”

He goes on to say that feminists have been very successful removing the stigma associated with unwed motherhood on the surface.

The rest of Dalrock’s post highlights the prevalence of OOW births and fatherlessness, and goes over a few religious conservatives and other media sources who have made efforts in shifting the Overton window towards greater acceptance of single mothers and OOW births.

Dalrock ends with this conclusion [emphasis mine],

“To some degree this represents an overall loss of class by mothers in general, but it is also clear that single mothers and soon to be single mothers are leading the cultural charge here.  As this progresses further it will put more and more strain on “Team Woman” as higher class married mothers become less and less comfortable being associated with low class single mothers.”

Kylie Jenner with daughter, Stormi. An upper class single mom setting the fashion trend for lower and middle class single mothers to follow.

Dalrock was right in saying the reframing of single motherhood is only on the surface, and that it actually puts more strain on “Team Woman”. But contrary to what Dalrock predicted, and as readers will see upon further reading, the strain is not so much on higher class married mothers associating with single mothers (partly because the former’s numbers are decreasing, and partly because many higher class women are also having children out of wedlock), but moreso on single childless women to put aside their differences with single mothers and overcome their innate self-stratifying discriminations based on marriage, motherhood, and status.

Almost 8 years after Dalrock’s assessments, we see “Team Woman” has made no progress on this issue.  When we look at the reality on the ground, “Team Woman” is dropping the ball.  Women are the first to stigmatize and reject pregnant single mommies, and readers who are aware of this can observe this everywhere.

Here’s a good example.

Case Study – “I got knocked up by the Boss!”

Reddit/Relationships: My coworkers / friends are treating me coldly after they found out I’m [28/F] pregnant with our boss’ [28/M] baby. (2020/9/26)

Over on Reddit, one woman (ThrowRAbossbaby) posted a story about cohabitating with her boss during the COVID lockdown.  She says she “ended up hooking up with him”, and got pregnant.

“I work in a team with 5 other people who I’ve grown close to over the 3 years I’ve worked here.  I consider them more friends than coworkers at this point.  We work for a company founded by Caleb, who I’ve also been friends with since college.”

She nonchalantly calls Caleb a “friend”, but actually, he is her boss and the father of her child.  I wouldn’t doubt that he invited her to the interview, and I wouldn’t be surprised if they had pegged the pooch at some point in time before she took this job.

“Caleb and I spent the quarantine together at his place because I have a roommate who made working from home impossible.  We ended up hooking up during it and now I’m 17 weeks pregnant.  We talked about it and decided to keep the baby and co-parent.  We’ve both only told our families about the pregnancy.

She says her roommate “made working at home impossible.”  M’kay…  A likely excuse.

“We ended up hooking up…”  LMAO at the denial, AS IF she NEVER anticipated THAT possibility!  This sounds like “It just happened!” — the old quip women use to feign innocence by denying agency.

Face it…  She was seduced by an old lover to resume their affections.

“We started working from the office again two weeks ago.  You can’t really tell I’m pregnant if I wear baggy clothes so no one at work knew except for Caleb’s older sister who also works for the company.  On Monday, she was asking me when we were going to decorate the nursery and she was complaining because Caleb told her she couldn’t help.  One of my coworkers overheard and asked if I was pregnant.  I reluctantly told her.  She ended up telling the other girls in our team.  At first, they all seemed happy for me but slowly they’ve been acting weird / cold towards me.”

So what could have turned “Team Woman” against her?

I can imagine everything was peachy from her perspective.  Shacking up with an old flame during the lockdown.  Working from home.  Frequent coffee breaks and fondling sessions throughout the day.  Netflix every night followed by regular hot sex.  Breakfast in bed followed by an all-morning romp.  Everything seemed to be going swell.

Until…  Her busybody coworkers heard the cubicle wind and it all went belly up.

* Surveys report between 15% to 27% of women have had a sexual relationship with their supervisor. That’s at least 1 out of every 7 women you work with!

Office Politics

“The team has a running joke about one of the girls wanting to sleep with Caleb.  She’s always denied it and claimed she wasn’t interested in him.”

So Caleb is obviously a top 10 percenter, judging by his reputation with the ladies.  I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s gone into other chicks at the office too.

“They usually make the joke whenever he comes to our floor, which he did on Thursday.  Someone made the joke and the girl replied with “[my name] beat me to it”.  She said it in a way that felt like she was taking a jab towards me.”

Female competition and the related stage show reinforce the Tingles which are then transformed into bitter envy / jealousy when bodies start slapping.  This is amplified further when the object of dripping desire is transfixed in fatherhood.  Paternal preselection provides a positive feedback amplifying the drama.

“I wouldn’t have hooked up with him if I knew she liked him…”

Translation: “I wouldn’t have moved in with him if I knew she was banging him too…”

“…and I feel like her denial was mostly because she knew we were friends and everyone else probably knew she really liked him.”

No.  It’s because to the feminine psyche, secretive sex is “empowering”, and accountability and responsibility are anathema. 

“I think I’ve realized that the jokes hold some truth to them, and I feel incredibly guilty and a little dumb now.”

Like Jesus said,

“Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.”

Jesus in Matthew 12:34-35

These jokes are a collective catharsis for all the wimminz’ guilt arising from lust and shagging on the fly.  All the signs are evident.

Imposing Shame

The fantasy land is shattered when the news gets out.

“I’m pregnant with our bosses’ baby and my colleagues / friends have started behaving weird / coldly towards me after finding out.”**

Apparently, the HUSsy harridans have employed a number of female control tactics (e.g. backbiting, backchannel communications, conniving, conspiracy, Gaslighting, passive aggressiveness, loaded hurtful comments, shifting responsibility, the Blame Game, and yes, the Shame Game) to oust her from the herd as a social pariah.

“I think it’s because one of the girls in my team likes our boss and now I feel incredibly guilty.”**

Translation: “I realized that I’m not the only lonely coquette who’s spreading her soul for the suave supervisor.  I’m just the only one stupid enough to get pregnant by him and then let everyone know about it.”

Notice here that she didn’t feel ashamed or guilty for shacking up with her boss.  She didn’t feel ashamed or guilty for getting pregnant out of wedlock.  No, she never felt ashamed / guilty until everyone at the workplace knew she was prego.

So why does she feel ashamed / guilty about this now?

I suspect she feels guilty because her cover of secrecy is blown, thereby ruining the Sex and the City narrative for everyone at the office.  She may also feel guilty for giving up on the Feminist Life Script.  As a single mother, she can’t join in the vulgar bacchanalia of “Team Woman” any longer.  She can’t fly the virtue signaling flag of forny feminism with full flair any further.  Perhaps she even feels guilty for NOT having the stones to abort her baby.

Furthermore, by cashing in her reproductive chips, she probably made many of the fempowerment hens in the clownhouse feel guilty if they had ever slept with a married man or had an abortion, or regretful for NOT having a child of their own.

In sum, she’s ousted herself and all her coworkers from any further frolicking in the Feminist fantasy land.  And worst of all…  (Gasp!)  She is now REJECTED from the harridan herd! No more fun with “Friends”.

That’s why she feels dumb and guilty. 

The henhouse would have looked the other way if her liaisons with the boss were discreet, as that would maintain a much needed shroud of secrecy necessary for the collective fantasy, the jokes, and the private affairs to continue.  But now that the truth is out, the joys of sneaking around and joking about it are gone, and their fantasy world is transmogrified into reality.  Now everyone has to accept full responsibility for their relationships with Caleb.  ThrowRAbossbaby has to settle down with raising a child with Caleb, and the others have to limit or go without his attentions or else risk being outed as a peen-poacher.  She has cancelled the creamy charades for all of them.

If she decided to have a baby with Randy Random, perhaps the henhouse herd wouldn’t have cared in the slightest, and would’ve indulged in the typical joys of “Team Woman” offering faux fluffy feeelz disguised as congratulations.  But when the news hits that she’s pregnant with the boss’ baby…  Well, now there’s a socially significant man of authority who’s directly involved.  Worse, it’s a man the other women must defer to on a daily basis, which puts Ms. ThrowRAbossbaby a square notch above the others in social primacy and status.  Worst of all, it destroys the Sexually Liberated / Strong Independent Woman / Feminine Mystique narrative.  Suddenly the lies are not so pretty anymore.

So instead of honoring her as a single mother, as would be prescribed by Feminism / “Team Woman”, they knock her down as a punishment for ruining their sexual playground (headquartered at the office), and also so they won’t have to humble themselves in sincere deference to one who was once their equal, but has risen to be the boss’s defacto concubine.  The purported issues of the father being her boss, her getting “special treatment”, and so on are little more than an angry ego defense, a virtue signaling cover, and/or a good excuse to engage in the turd flinging.

“Is there anything I can do to rectify this situation?”**

Translation: “Calling on “Team Woman”…  Give me some sympathy!”

But there’s no sympathy from her coworkers, so she runs to Reddit to wipe her tears.

Snowballing Shame

The rejection and shame didn’t end with ThrowRAbossbaby’s coworkers.  It continued in the comments under her Reddit post.  Here are a few. The general flavors of the comments are summarized in the subtitles. Most of these statements express passive-aggressive shaming.

** We never see any report of, nor an appeal to, the man’s position, nor any account of his circumstances, feelings, or intentions.  Evidently he doesn’t matter, as if he’s just a clueless Tingle generator who’s getting played (with) by all these women.

Converged Moralizing

2percentevil wrote,

“You shouldn’t feel bad because you slept with someone that somebody else lied about actually having a crush on.  If they denied it, you have no way of knowing they liked that person.  You should feel bad because you moved in with your boss and then slept with him.  It’s just not appropriate in any way and I’m not shocked everyone is acting weird around you; they’re assuming you’ve been getting special treatment.  It’s time to switch jobs, don’t sh!t where you eat.”

Translation: “You deserve the shame for being an idiot, but everybody sleeps around, so don’t let it get to you.”

Prego wins the ultimate prize, but with penalties assigned.

nblackhand wrote,

“Yeah, let’s be real, there was no making this not weird.  They cannot just treat you like a normal colleague and friend, because you aren’t.  You’re the mother of their boss’s child, and they have to act accordingly.”

Translation: “You’ve been kicked out of “Team Woman.”  Tough sh!t!”

mockingbird82 poured on the shame in writing [emphasis mine],

“That’s to be expected.  There is now a power imbalance because you will (and have been) getting unequal treatment.  I’m not going to chastise you for sleeping with him because you did know him prior to working for him, but it’s a bad idea for people to get into relationships at work for a myriad of reasons, especially when one is a supervisor (or the actual boss).  You’re now in the thick of it.”

“That’s to be expected.” and “…it’s a bad idea…”  Translation: “You’re stupid!”

“I’m not going to chastise you…”  Translation: “You should be ashamed, but if I blamed you, I would be an uncool hypocrite.”

“You’re now in the thick of it.”  Translation: “You deserve it!  Tough sh!t!”  (with schadenfreude)

rlroyal52 wrote this cynical chastisement,

“It’s kind of a situation where it should be a shock and more should be expected.  There will be comments and feelings like, “In this day and age, nobody should get pregnant on accident, and if that can’t be handled, then…”  […] …in a small workplace, I can’t imagine it will get much better when the drama happens, like when he gets a gf or you get a bf and the baby is involved.  It’s a hard situation to be in.”

Translation: “Don’t blame “Team Woman.  YOU are the dummy! You should have gotten an abortion. Go back to the carousel where you belong. Who gives a sh!t about the baby?”

In summary, it’s pretty clear that Caleb is the prize, but it’s also clear that having his baby is penalty.**

Old Flames Flicker Forever

The author of the OP, ThrowRAbossbaby, finally comes out with a confession.

“I probably should’ve included this in the OP but we dated briefly in college (my coworkers know this).  Sorry if this is TMI but we didn’t have unprotected sex once.  We had protected sex multiple times.”

Now the truth comes out.  They go back a long way, just as I suspected. And they were getting it on. It wasn’t an “accident”.

marie96336 responded,

“That’s probably why there were undertones of some kind of feelings there.”

Normgirl added,

“Yeah this makes sense why the girl wouldn’t admit to liking the boss when OP was around.”

Yes.  I can’t believe that the other women who were joking and then became jealous were totally innocent.  I suspect others were also banging the dude on the down low (or had in the past), and were keeping it quiet so that it wouldn’t create a commotion in the workplace.

“Team Woman” has Failed

Women are in a dire dilemma when it comes to having a child these days.  Getting pregnant out of wedlock has always been shameful, and this is what Feminists have been trying to reverse.  However, getting pregnant out of wedlock is still shameful even from the feminist point of view, but for different reasons.  Instead of being shamed for playing the harlot, as was done in times past, a single mother is now shamed for exposing the soft harems in the workplace. She is shamed for ruining the feminist fantasy. By having a baby, she reveals that women are not as Strong and Independent as it is imagined women should be, and she is shamed for this.  She is shamed for not continuing her career and c0ck carousing until the ripe old age of 29.999.  She is shamed for sacrificing 10 months of her finest carousel riding days to having a child with a man. Most of all, she is shamed for shaming her peers by defeating them in the sexual market evolutionary race and locking down a long term commitment / investment from a HVM in the form of a child.

So we see that no matter how much the zeitgeist glorifies single mommyhood, when the rubber meets the rod, Female envy, herd mentality, and status signaling take over and “Team Woman” disintegrates over petty squabbles.

Moreover, single moms can’t escape the shame — especially those that breed jealousy by sexing up and procreating with the studly supervisor, thereby beating all her competitors to the evolutionary finish line.

Related

• Dalrock: Won’t someone think of the children who want to become single mothers? (2018/1/25)
• Inside the University of Melbourne: Whoredom (2019/3/16)
• Σ Frame: They shall be saved through child bearing. (2019/5/9)
• Σ Frame (Red Pill Apostle): Why are women willingly submissive to authorities, but not to their husbands? (2022/10/26)