SMP Paradigms Compared

Stay on target… Stay on target…

Targeted Readership: Men
Theme: Consolidating Masculinity
Length: 1,600 words
Reading Time: 9 minutes

In a previous post, The Path to Contentment (2023/1/18), I described two paradigms, described as the Worldly System and God’s Order, and how we are to find Contentment by jumping from one Life Loop to another, and then to another. This post will compare and contrast these two paradigms as they pertain to the SMP/MMP.

The Worldly System from the Woman’s Perspective

When a woman meets a man with Frame who is going SOMEWHERE in life she is ATTRACTED. That is the essence of why LAMPS etc. works. It shows a man with FRAME. It shows a man with something going on in his life. On a primal level, women want to mate and have children with such a man.

On a deeper level, she wants to be accepted, farts, warts, quirks, and all, and to become an integral and vital part of a man’s life, to bask in his love and attention, to drink from his fountain of love, and to feed off of him in various ways. We often refer to these various aspects as Nesting and Validation.

Ultimately, what a woman needs, and what her soul is looking for is PURPOSE. But women seldom arrive at this conclusion until after they find LAMPS and Validation. So they go off pursuing LAMPS and Validation, only to become disappointed upon finding that these things are unfulfilling and cannot give her a PURPOSE. Only deep bonding and a shared Purpose can stand the test of time. This is one reason why many LTRs fail.

The modern response to this emptiness is for women to try finding that missing piece by being Strong and Independent™, Empowering Herself™, Finding Herself™, or following her dreams of having a leisurely lifestyle. These pursuits also prove to be elusive in terms of Contentment, so they double down, try harder, and continue on. Those women who MUST have a man will seek attention / validation from multiple men, or branch swing to find the next LAMPS guy, which we refer to as Hypergamy and Serial Polyandry.

To some extent, in ye olden days this was mitigated in the flesh when she had multiple children. The family and the children were a woman’s Purpose. And women did not live very long after the children grew up.

But in today’s sexually liberated world, having children is merely one box to check off on her Bucket List of things to do — when she’s “ready”, “sometime later” in life — and it is in no way prioritized. Meanwhile, she is on her way to do something (or someone) better, whatever (or whomever) that might be.

The Worldly System from the Man’s Perspective

For most men, getting a WOMAN to perch on his bird is the mission. One in the bush is worth two in the hand (or more).

So we see a flock of peacocks trying to learn how to get her number, how to please her, how to game her… all in an effort to entice her to spread her wings over his nest.

He goes to the gym, works out, loses weight, gets muscle bulk and definition, and becomes the cock of the walk… all to impress a persnickety hypoagentic girl.

He works hard, goes to college, gets a corner office job with a high pay, all in the hope of being the suitor who is called onto the carpet by a whimsical girl to be her personal ATM.

After marriage, he comes home from work, cleans the house, cooks dinner, does the dishes, all in the hope of settling into bed with her fuzzy muzzle nestled snugly on his nozzle.

But no… “I’m not feeling it tonight, dear.” She “needs to get up early”, diarrhea, headache, leg cramps, menstruation, stomachache, stuffy nose, too cold, too tired, “the kids might hear us”, or whatever other excuse she can hamster up to defer her marital duty and get away with defrauding him — once again.

He goes to the bathroom to rub one out, laying a curse on her under his breath, while she escapes her conscience by sawing logs.

It’s all about the p_ssy.

Are you telling me this is a man’s Mission in life?

That’s not all.

Too many chads infecting the flock. Too many chickens down with the bird flu. Chicks are now laid up and out of service. Too many hens clucking the mantras. The egg market collapses. Competitors are squeezed out of the market. Consumers are charged exorbitant prices for rotten eggs.

Men give up and check out.

“Why work out if I can never impress a girl? Why work if no girl is going to marry me? Why do anything if I cannot get laid / get married?”

They think they’re smart in going AWOL, but it’s a Pyrrhic victory without fresh eggs to crack open each morning.

No Contentment here.

God’s Order from the Woman’s Perspective

A woman’s PURPOSE is MAKING CHRIST KNOWN by helping her husband in HIS mission. It is MAKING CHRIST KNOWN to the children they have.

Thus, a woman’s Mission is NOT attracting ATTENTION, hooking a MAN’s DESIRE, or even being LOVED. It is NOT pursuing a CAREER, making MONEY, or chasing after TINGLES. It is NOT getting married and having children either. These are merely choices and powers that women may have at their disposal in accomplishing their Mission.

If a woman’s PURPOSE is NOT aligned with God’s Order, then exercising these powers will cause great DESTRUCTION to herself and to others. If a woman IS pursuing her God Ordained PURPOSE in her life, then these powers can become a great BLESSING to herself and others.

That POWER is in a woman’s hands. If she uses it wisely, her husband and children will rise up and call her blessed. If she uses it carelessly or selfishly, she will be cursed and shamed as a hoe b!tch.

The purpose of sex and marriage is for marital bonding and sanctification, and to be fruitful and multiply. It is not for fun and games.

Once a man and woman are married, they enjoy the sexual relationship (physical intimacy) and romance (emotional intimacy) within the boundaries of the marriage. They seek to fulfill their duties and responsibilities in marriage and seek to always improve in these areas.

The Husband is the Wife’s one and only sexual partner, her Head, provider, protector, and father to her children. The Wife is the Husband’s affectionate and ready sexual partner, showing submissive respect to her protector and Head, a helper to his Mission, the keeper of the home in accordance to his provision, and being a wise and empathic mother to her children.

Together in marriage, a Husband and Wife display the Covenant relationship of CHRIST and the CHURCH to each other, to their children, to their church, to their community, and to the world at large.

Together, they are a living example of God’s love on Earth, and together they make Christ known.

God’s Order from the Man’s Perspective

Man’s Mission in life is NOT “Happy Wife, Happy Life!”

It is Happy King, Happy Kingdom!

And that King is Christ!

Thus, a man’s Mission in life is to Know the King and establish His Kingdom on earth. As Jesus prayed,

Thy Kingdom come.  Thy Will be done on earth, as it is in heaven.

Matthew 6:10 (KJ21)

Ultimately, for a Christian man, the Purpose of his life is to Know Christ himself, and to MAKE CHRIST KNOWN to others.

Sex is a carnal need, and Marriage an earthly institution — which begs the question — Why is there no marriage in heaven? It is because the purpose of sex and marriage is to fulfill the Mission. In heaven, we’ll have a different sort of mission in which marriage (as we know it) is not needed. My pastor believes there is no marriage in heaven because we’ll all be married to Christ.

If a man’s mission / purpose / vision isn’t in place, then the husband and wife are focused on what each one wants out of life and the marriage. They are fighting against each other trying to secure their own needs and prerogatives, e.g., attention, ego fulfillment, love, material needs, respect, social relevance, $$$, sex, status, etc. When their energies are consumed in this way, they don’t have the capability of navigating a ship, much less arriving at any particular destination.

But… if the mission / purpose / vision is right, then the husband and wife both know his / her place. When they know where the ship is going, then it is easier to be the Captain / First Mate / Crew — because then the journey becomes about the destination and what will get the job done and get them there, e.g. respect for hierarchy, boosting of morale (a good sexual relationship boosts morale), supporting and encouraging each other, watching each other’s backs etc.)

The bottom line is that a Man needs to stay focused on his MISSION — to make Christ known in his sphere of influence. He does NOT NEED a woman to do that. In the Garden of Eden, Adam was alone for a while. Eve was NEVER alone. Men are much better able to handle being alone than women are, PROVIDED that they have a MISSION. But… a companion and helper makes the job easier.

The problem is that most men do not understand what it means to make Christ known, and much less, HOW they will do it — so this idea fails to resonate with men, even Christian men. As a result, they have a total lack of Frame. I’ll continue this point in the next post.

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About Jack

Jack is a world traveling artist, skilled in trading ideas and information, none of which are considered too holy, too nerdy, nor too profane to hijack and twist into useful fashion. Sigma Frame Mindsets and methods for building and maintaining a masculine Frame
This entry was posted in Attraction, Calculated Risk Taking, Choosing a Partner or Spouse, Choosing A Profession, Collective Strength, Competence / Competition, Courtship and Marriage, Decision Making, Denying/Witholding Sex, Discernment, Wisdom, Evangelism, Fundamental Frame, Headship and Patriarchy, Holding Frame, Identity, Intersexual Dynamics, Introspection, Love, Male Power, Maturity, Personal Growth and Development, Models of Failure, Models of Success, Moral Agency, Organization and Structure, Personal Domain, Power, Purpose, Relationships, Respect, Sanctification & Defilement, Self-Concept, Sex, Sphere of Influence, The Power of God, Vetting Women. Bookmark the permalink.

66 Responses to SMP Paradigms Compared

  1. Red Pill Apostle says:

    Jack,

    “Once a man and woman are married, they enjoy the sexual relationship (physical intimacy) and romance (emotional intimacy) within the boundaries of the marriage.”

    This is a very important point that I have lived. When I first started to work on myself and by default my marriage, Mrs. Apostle would complain about how the romance was missing. I left little notes and tried other things like back when we were dating, but none of them worked. More infuriating was that my wife could not in clear terms tell me what romance was. She knew it when she saw it, but she could never tell me why one thing was romantic and another similar act was not.

    The underlying principle is emotional intimacy. This is why a bouquet of flowers may be a big nothing to her, but something simple like earnestly listening to her gives her the warm fuzzies. The reason my initial efforts amounted to nothing, even though what I was doing had been well received in the past, is that I did not care very much about Mrs. Apostle. She was the chief cause of stress and pain in my life and that meant the less interaction I had with her the easier my life was. Of course avoidance only works in the diminishing return arena of minimizing pain, but that is where I was at the time.

    Men need to avoid nagging women because of what I just outlined in the previous paragraph. Or, if a man is already married to a nagging woman, he needs to set hard boundaries and fix her behavior. The emotional intimacy she craves depends on him correcting her behavior for her own good. Otherwise, she’ll nag, he’ll avoid, the emotional intimacy will erode and the chance of divorce will skyrocket.

    Liked by 5 people

    • Grifter Shifter says:

      “… a woman marrying a man she thinks is icky…”

      RedPillApostle, I don’t know where you’re writing from but I live in the USA. We don’t have arranged marriages here (though maybe a few immigrant families are still doing that?) In the very Christian social environment I grew up in, crushes between “courting” boys and girls were/are very intense with high degrees of mutual attraction and sexual tension. Engagements are kept short because the pair cannot wait to get their hands on each other. This being the case, it used to baffle me that there was so much sexual dysfunction and dissatisfaction after they actually marry. Then I got married and actually understood where things were going wrong in our sheltered community’s approach to sex.

      Like

      • thedeti says:

        Time for you to fess up.

        Sex?

        Age?

        Race?

        Marital status?

        Children? How many, how old, their sexes?

        Highest educational attainment?

        Usual occupation?

        Socioeconomic status (working class, middle class, upper class)?

        Liked by 1 person

      • Oscar says:

        Wearing that hobby horse out!

        Like

      • locustsplease says:

        Thedeti, a hamster has no age.

        Like

      • Red Pill Apostle says:

        “Engagements are kept short because the pair cannot wait to get their hands on each other. This being the case, it used to baffle me that there was so much sexual dysfunction and dissatisfaction after they actually marry.”

        Sexual dissatisfaction after marriage does not surprise me at all. It happens to couples who were virgins and couples who were not virgins when they wed. The common theme of the issues are ultimately linked to the curse and her desire to control her husband.

        Outward appearances matter very little. If you show me a marriage where the wife truly understands her role in the marriage and puts effort into being the best she can at that role, which means being nurturing, understanding God’s authority hierarchy for the marriage, and actively fulfilling her husband’s sexual desires, I’ll show you a marriage that has much much better chance of thriving than average.

        The typical issue is women denying their husbands sex and when they do participate it is less than enthusiastic. The term ‘starfish’ exists for a reason and even if she does more than lay nearly motionless, an attitude of “let’s just get this over with” is effectively the same thing. Women want control in the relationship unless taught otherwise and the use of sex for power is the easiest way for them to get it, as idiotically short sighted as that approach is.

        The picture I painted plays out over millions of marriages which is why roughly 20% are clinically sexless. It’s generally not the men who are withholding. So in part your assertion that the church (universal) does little to prepare people for marriage is true, but the issue is not merely in the area of sex. Pastors are tentative in talking about sex from the pulpit, but they are absolutely defecating in their pants scared about telling wives to obey their husbands in all things. (Don’t even start down the “what if” exceptions road, as we are so far away from decent men asking their wives to sin that this line of thought is pointing out men’s potential fleck in the eye compared to the actual log in women’s eyes.)

        Like

      • Grifter Shifter says:

        “The typical issue is women denying their husbands sex and when they do participate it is less than enthusiastic. […] The picture I painted plays out over millions of marriages which is why roughly 20% are clinically sexless.”

        That happens much later, not in the first year of marriage when the couple is barely out of their teens and hormones are raging. We’re talking past each other and about two entirely different scenarios.

        Like

      • info says:

        @Gritter Shifter

        Romance doesn’t last. Marriages are maintained by Agape. Nonetheless 1 Corinthians 7 couples have Authority over each other’s bodies. And as long as it doesn’t involve extreme cases like medical issues or anything else that disrupts normal functioning.

        Then they don’t deny each other.

        Like

      • Jack says:

        “… a woman marrying a man she thinks is icky…”

        “RedPillApostle, I don’t know where you’re writing from…”

        “A woman marrying a man she thinks is icky” is part of the AF/BB stratagem that has been prevalent for the past half-century or maybe even longer. With the current decline in marriage and the increase in cohabitation, I can see how younger women would never marry a man she thinks is icky. Most secular women would rather be career gals and ride the carousel as long as they can, than to settle down with a man whom she deems “beneath her”. Church going girls would try to play within the social script of their church, but if that doesn’t deliver a suitable man within a certain time frame, they’ll opt out and go out scoping for secular men.

        Nevertheless, RPA is referring to the fact that many wives lose attraction for their husbands after marriage, and this is the same for both Christian and secular circles, and this problem is not going to change with the times.

        Like

      • Red Pill Apostle says:

        Jack,

        If GS’s statement,

        “Then I got married and actually understood where things were going wrong in our sheltered community’s approach to sex.”

        is a true representation, then that could explain quite a bit.

        She may not have been exposed to women settling for any man who would have her because her ovaries were drying up, or witnessed how evil a wife can be when she loses attraction for her husband. When any constraints of potential shaming from the close community or religious expectations are not holding a woman back, she can be a complete beast. When those constructs are holding her back, she’ll be a beast behind closed doors and a smiling angel out in public or on social media.

        Also, I didn’t know $h!t when I was in my 20s. My guess is that a woman who professes to be from a sheltered community knows less than I did at at the equivalent age. Then add to that how hard it is for someone to change their mind about something they ‘know’ to be true. It can take mountains of evidence before a person runs out of excuses and it finally clicks. Hence, the RP metaphor for when man’s entire comprehension of women and life changes in an instant after a lifetime of having the evidence right in front of him.

        Like

      • Oscar says:

        @ RPA

        It seems like a case of “I have this problem, therefore this problem must be common.”

        Like

    • redpillboomer says:

      “More infuriating was that my wife could not in clear terms tell me what romance was.”

      I’ve dealt with this in my marriage where the wife wants me to be “more romantic;” however, it’s not clearly defined, what “being more romantic” looks like. We’ve talked about it, and I’ve learned it’s not, in her eyes, things that one would consider traditionally romantic: flowers, candlelight dinners and such, but something more ephemeral, a feeling-based thing. So, I just try to add little gestures that I consider “small things” like unexpected hugs and such, and that seems to work. I’ll also occasionally hold the car door open for her on our date nights, and she finds that romantic. We even laugh and giggle over that one because I make an exaggerated effect of it.

      Point is, I just figure she doesn’t really have a clear idea of what SHE means by romance, let alone me trying to figure it out. So, I’ve found a little something that works and just use that as my “romantic” approach.

      Since she can’t even define what romance means to her, I’ll just accept that I can occasionally do “acts of romance,” but I’ll never “be romantic.” Add guess what? I don’t care! It’s good enough for our relationship, which overall is good, and I go back to focusing on my mission and purpose. She’s in alignment with my mission, and as far as I’m concerned, that’s “romance” for me! LOL!

      I will say I’ve pointed out some of these Beta males to her who publicly make a show of pedestalizing their wives and the relationship, you know the kind I’m talking about, and I tell my wife, “I’m not like that! And I won’t do that crap! No way, no how.” She gets that and seems pretty cool about it, but I think there’s a part of her that secretly wishes I was more like those guys. However, I think there’s an even bigger part of her that appreciates the RP masculine side of me.

      Liked by 1 person

      • thedeti says:

        “And even your own mother and sisters are in on it, expecting you to ‘get it’; to get the message and see the challenge for what it really is, without overtly telling you.”

        “She want’s you to ‘get it’ on your own, without having to be told how. That initiative and the experience needed to have had developed it makes you a Man worth competing for. Women despise a man who needs to be told to be dominant. Overtly relating this to a guy entirely defeats his credibility as a genuinely dominant male. The guy she wants to [sex up] is dominant because that’s ‘the way he is’ instead of who she had to tell him to be.”

        The Rational Male: Just Get It! (2012/8/22)

        Women don’t want to have to explain this to us. They want us to “just get it”. They want us to be mind readers and to be perfectly and fully formed. Pret a porter men. Just pick one up, ready to use, no need for relationship, no need for orientation, no need for anything. He just “gets it”, without figuring anything out, without being told.

        It’s women’s refusing to exercise agency. It’s women’s complete and total irresponsibility.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. thedeti says:

    “Once a man and woman are married, they enjoy the sexual relationship (physical intimacy) and romance (emotional intimacy) within the boundaries of the marriage.”

    This is how it is supposed to be. Marriage is supposed to be the place where men and women are to experience romance and sex. You get married, and then you explore romance and develop a sexual relationship.

    When Dalrock was writing, he brilliantly deduced that women and the sexual revolution had inverted this order. He noted that the order was now that romance was the place for experiencing marriage and sex. You had to make the woman “feel it” and be “in love”. Then you could get married and have sex. Or at least, that’s what women wanted us to believe.

    I think in truth, where we are now is that women have completed the inversion. It’s now that sex is the place for experiencing romance and marriage. So, in order to get anything at all in terms of commitment or emotional intimacy, you have to have sex or be able to get sex. First, you have sex. Then you decide if you like this person enough to keep seeing them and doing things together (romance), and if you stay together long enough, you commit (marriage). It starts with sex now.

    This is why increasing numbers of men are just getting shut out. Because they’re not sexually attractive enough to compete in a market where the initial currency, the entry fee, is sexual attractiveness. You can tell this is a market women designed. EVERY woman has the entry fee to break into this market. Every woman has a vagina. Despite what some people say, vaginas all work correctly so long as a sufficiently attractive man is nearby. And most men don’t have the entry fee for this market. They just don’t, and there’s nothing they can do to get that fee.

    Everything about this market is specifically designed to give women all the advantages and all the power, and to price most men out of entering it. This is a feminine-designed market, it’s what we’re stuck with now, and I don’t see this changing anytime soon.

    Liked by 4 people

    • thedeti says:

      The other feature of modern relationships is how they end. It used to be there was a proper conclusion. One of them, usually the woman, announced she was breaking up with you / “quitting” you / “moving on” because she had to “find herself” (LOL) or “explore her options”. She “needed some space” or “just didn’t want to get serious” (because, you know, this is how I learned that wild sex at 2 am in your dorm room with her screaming your name is not “serious”. OK then….)

      Now, ghosting is the proper / accepted way to break up with someone. Now, the way you know your relationship / FWB / whatevership has ended is when the other person just stops communicating with you. Just stops returning texts. (Not calls, because, it’s like, so weird and stuff to like, you know, call someone… to … like, use your voice. Like who does that??) Just “leaves you on ‘read’.”

      The way people break up now is that one person just abruptly ends all communications. Just stops responding. Just doesn’t show up anymore.

      Welcome to our Brave New World.

      Like

      • Rowena says:

        It is my observation no woman FINDS HERSELF through sexual promiscuity. That is a LIE. The truth — What happens is you LOSE YOURSELF — you lose your chastity, your innocence, your purity, your ability to become one flesh with your husband, your ability to be vulnerable, your abiltiy to be submissive, your ability to TRUST a man with your body and heart and life, your ability to be a CHRISTIAN wife fulfilling her duties and responsibilities in marriage. All women are BORN with the above. They do not work for it, earn it, achieve it — it is INBORN. To be GIVEN to her HUSBAND. Freely, joyfully, and liberally. When she develops sexual experience OUTSIDE of marriage — All she FINDS is BAGGAGE — to be dumped on the husband who finally marries her. She is not FINDING HERSELF. She is ACCUMULATING UNWANTED BAGGAGE and LOSING the most precious parts of herself.

        In Jewish culture — it was the responsibility of fathers to make sure she never lost this ability — and EVERY father (by NATURAL INSTINCT), regardless of culture, feels this for his daughter. Except society has now booted out MOST fathers and brainwashed or bullied (usually by a feminist wife) the remaining fathers that it is the FATHERLY thing to do to make sure his daughter gets as much “experience” in life as possible and no man is good enough to handle his “experienced’ daughter.

        To set boundaries so your daughter does not “lose herself” is considered abuse. Her “FINDING HERSELF” is considered empowerment.

        It is a classic case of EVIL being called GOOD and GOOD being called EVIL!

        Liked by 2 people

      • info says:

        @Rowena

        Those women look like they have been shell shocked. Eyes looking distant. This is her femininity having been damaged and hollowed out.

        If a formerly promiscuous woman experiences a dead bedroom with her husband. Goes to show how much her degraded form of sexual intimacy results from repeated broken hearts has rendered her very notion of intimacy purely transactional.

        Their naturally existing gentleness and sensitivity has been replaced by callous coldness. And even cruelty because of the cruelty of her broken hearts over and over again.

        Even the grace of God doesn’t remove the baggage. They will be haunted for the rest of their lives as a form of discipline and humbling by God.

        Hence a saved woman’s attitude and essence of her prayer who was formerly promiscuous is “Lord have mercy on me a sinner.”

        Like

    • Bardelys the Magnificent says:

      “…women and the sexual revolution had inverted this order…”

      Brilliantly put. Also, the main thesis of this article:

      https://brighteyes.substack.com/p/the-fuck-rate-is-about-to-implode

      Also also, my assertion that men, on the whole, are ok. We’re simply not equipped to handle an environment so hostile to our biological imperative, and only maladjusted men are making it in this climate. It turns our stomachs to think we have to become those men, because we’re not supposed to. We will not win by adapting, but rather setting the world back to “normal”. Whether that happens on a large enough scale in our usable lifetimes is anyone’s guess.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Lastmod says:

        Read the article, there is no “incel revolution”. What we’re getting is an “anti-revolution”.

        I will concede that “incels” in general are growing in number, and long gone are the days of the sterotypical overweight, 40 year old, white knight mouth breather with thick glasses, bad haircut, and living with parents in a dusty home with greasy doorknobs.

        They still are ignored by women, and there really isn’t much they can do.

        When women wail about “No men”, “No good men”, “Men need to step up…”, they point their anger at Incels, saying, “It’s these men here who make women afraid to go out”, and the usual hit pieces on it being a “dark, evil subculture that hates women, wants to commit violence against them, and they convince all the ‘good men’ that women are no good.”

        Women don’t care about these men or what they think. They would only care if men like Scott, Jack, Sam, Oscar, and others like them were Incel…. THEN it would be a “serious problem, and we women have to start listening to what these men need and expect.”

        Most of the anger in Incel forums today is levied at men.

        Like the MGTOW who get lumped in with the Incel crowd……. No one really cares what these men think or believe. These men that are considered haters, misanthropes, sexist, ugly, losers and soy-boys who only complain.

        The extreme element is still there with some Incels, and this portion of the men who are Incels would still be upset even if they looked like Chad. They would then gripe about some other Chad being better than them. I concede this faction inside the Incel world is still there, but not as many as a decade ago.

        The Black Pill is the faster growing sub-segment of the man-o-sphere and it kind of has to be at this point. Red Pill is so rigid and codified of what a man must be or else he’s some sort of cuck if he cannot live up to it.

        Like

      • Grifter Shifter says:

        Oh boy, that Bright Eyes link was pure comedy gold. He’s off on 3 accounts though. 1. the trucker as “mid man”, 2. the trucker as deserving of a “hot” wife, and 3. the writer has no idea what an actual incel is.

        Break Down

        1– While the trucker’s income combined with saving and investing might net him a solid middle-middle class lifestyle in a certain type of suburb, trucking is a socially lower class/blue collar job.

        2– Hot wife for trucker? I guess that depends on what he would personally find “hot”. He may be able to pull an objectively above average looking woman, say a 6-7.5. His love goggles might turn her into a subjective 8 in his eyes. But objective 8s and above are out of his league. Typically mid-women, the natural counterparts to mid-men, are not “hot” per se but moderately cute.

        3– An incel isn’t just some average to slightly above average looking neurotypical, socially well-adjusted and friendly but sometimes shy mid-man with a middle class income. Incels are neuro-atypical with lots of neurosis, issues, and hang-ups. Peruse 4Chan, 8Chan, Reddit, the Incel forums, Looksmax, etc., and the first thing that jumps out at you is how very off kilter these guys are. They take lots of drugs for anxiety, OCD, depression, and a myriad of other mental disorders. They talk about their struggles with going out into public, holding down even the simplest of jobs and how much they have left on their EBT cards. These are men literally scared to death of life. Many live with their parents well into their 30s and beyond. They have serious issues with the way they look, often for good reason (and this is where the Black Pill factors in), but even the not so bad looking ones who would count as average obsess over their looks to the minutest detail — way beyond what you would hear a teenage girl obsessing about.

        Please google “the incel to transmaxx pipeline” and find out what their latest obsession is about.

        No, incels absolutely cannot be categorized as your average everyday “mid-man”. In no epoch of human history have men like this ever gotten anywhere. At least in this epoch they have the internet. I think the Manosphere should compassionately create real life communities for them so they can live together in brotherhood.

        Like

      • info says:

        “No, incels absolutely cannot be categorized as your average everyday “mid-man”. In no epoch of human history have men like this ever gotten anywhere.”

        Actually they are prime cannon fodder in Warfare and slave raids for women because they couldn’t get any.

        Many die it is a replenishing fountain. Because that is the logic of Polygamy resulting in the shortage of women.

        Like

      • Lastmod says:

        “3– An incel isn’t just some average to slightly above average looking neurotypical, socially well-adjusted and friendly but sometimes shy mid-man with a middle class income…

        ………………….

        Incels know for the most part they are not this. Again, the man writing this article doesnt know any Incels. That is certain.

        I do.

        I am one.

        And you don’t seem to know any either.

        When a boy, then a teen, and then as a man is relentlessly kicked, punched, punished by fellow peers, and ignored, and nuclear rejected by women… for anything.

        You will have a subclass of men like this. Red Pill and Feminists. The church. The media, they can’t understand why these men exist! Women use them to excuse Chad / and or better looking men for his bad behavior.

        Incels are not going away, and it’s going to get worse. But you, darling, have the solution:

        “Send them to work farms / communes / monastaries AWAY from pretty women like me and my friends!”

        In five years, you wil be screaming for their extermination.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Jack says:

        “An incel isn’t just some average to slightly above average looking neurotypical, socially well-adjusted and friendly but sometimes shy mid-man with a middle class income…”

        ………………….

        “Incels know for the most part they are not this.”

        Actually, IMO, that description sums up LastMod pretty well, despite his objection. Anymore, it isn’t just the short, skinny-fat, geek / nerd who can’t find a girlfriend. These days, Incels come from all walks of life. I know a couple guys making 6 figures who can’t get any IOIs from women. Then again, they won’t let on that they’re loaded, because they don’t want any gold diggers who will frivorce them 6 months after the ink dries.

        Liked by 1 person

      • thedeti says:

        The general theme is “If mid level mediocre bottom 80% men can’t get p_ssy, then no one can have civilization.”

        How this always plays out on Reddit is “Women will pick up the slack” and “Well, then civilization won’t be worth fighting for anymore and let’s just let it burn.”

        Think about that. Women’s response to this is “We will do it” and then, “We’ll destroy it.”

        Except that women aren’t doing it. Women don’t invent things, make things, build things, grow things, cultivate things, move things, fix things, or sell things. If women were going to do that kind of work, they’d have done it by now. “Women in STEM”? Hah. There have been women in STEM movements for years now. Know why women don’t go into STEM? Because by and large, they can’t do it. That’s not an insult — it’s just that they don’t have the aptitude for it. Among the women who do have aptitude for it, they won’t do it because they don’t like it. They don’t like the work. They don’t like the hours, the rigor, the concentration, or the perseverance the work requires. The STEM fields women do tend to go into (mostly nursing) involves two things — they’re caring / nurturing; and they’re algorithm driven. They involve caring for other humans; and can be easily done by following policies, procedures, and flow charts. They involve less thinking and problem solving; and more following a predetermined, preset algorithm that tells the “practitioner” what to do every step of the way. And they do it under the supervision of physicians, who are usually…. MEN.

        Liked by 2 people

      • thedeti says:

        We are returning to a more feudal, middle-ages style society in the decades and centuries to come. The top men have wives, concubines, and harems. All other men do without or buy hookers. Most men will get killed at work, in war, or disease/starvation.

        When you have a surplus of men, societies do one or more of the following:

        — Employ them in menial, monklike, or military occupations.

        — Anesthetize them.

        — Enslave them.

        — Imprison and exterminate them.

        Our society has done employment for them. Now that there are more of them, we’ve moved to anesthesia (pr0n, weed, processed food, video games).

        What’s next? Yep. Slavery is what the USSR did, especially for dissidents (which is what incels are to our New World Order). When you can’t get men to work by giving them p_ssy or bread and circuses, you make them work by putting them in gulags and concentration camps.

        Then, if that doesn’t work, then you move to N@z!sm or Stalinism or Pol Pot style extermination. You incarcerate them and you k!ll them, either by lining them up against walls; or you starve them out and wait for them to die.

        You people think that can’t happen here? It already is. Our government’s doing this with incels and other “undesirables” now. They get nothing, but they get shaming and lashes across their backs and forced to work. They get “canceled” and sent to virtual gulags where they cannot work, cannot earn a living, cannot get basic services. They’re being essentially starved out. Society waits for them to die.

        Remember Bosnia / Herzegovina and “ethnic cleansing”? What our current overlords are doing is sociosexual cleansing. They’re eliminating the bottom 80% from the gene pool by anesthetizing, enslaving, and exterminating them.

        Arbeit Macht Frei.

        Workers of the World, Unite.

        Here it comes, fellas….

        Like

      • Grifter Shifter says:

        “Send them to work farms / communes / monastaries AWAY from pretty women like me and my friends!”

        “In five years, you wil be screaming for their extermination.”

        Lastmod, what issue do you have with men living in community as brothers? Who says “away” from anything? It’s about having a network of people who care and growing as men, producing with and for each other. I really don’t understand this resistance to something that is healthy. People need people. Growing old alone with nobody around you who knows you and cares about you is nothing short of hell.

        Like

      • Grifter Shifter says:

        thedeti,

        “Then, if that doesn’t work, then you move to N@z!sm or Stalinism or Pol Pot style extermination. You incarcerate them and you k!ll them, either by lining them up against walls; or you starve them out and wait for them to die.

        You people think that can’t happen here? It already is. Our government’s doing this with incels and other “undesirables” now. They get nothing, but they get shaming and lashes across their backs and forced to work. They get “canceled” and sent to virtual gulags where they cannot work, cannot earn a living, cannot get basic services. They’re being essentially starved out. Society waits for them to die.”

        No. None of this is happening. They are living with their parents, well fed with access to healthcare and EBT cards. They will out their lives comfortably but miserable, largely because men who claim to care do nothing for them such as befriend them in real life.

        Like

      • Grifter Shifter says:

        thedeti,

        “The general theme is “If mid level mediocre bottom 80% men can’t get p_ssy, then no one can have civilization.”

        How this always plays out on Reddit is “Women will pick up the slack” and “Well, then civilization won’t be worth fighting for anymore and let’s just let it burn.”

        How it will play out is how it’s playing out right now. Asians, both east and south will increasingly immigrate and do these jobs.

        “Except that women aren’t doing it. Women don’t invent things, make things, build things, grow things, cultivate things, move things, fix things, or sell things. If women were going to do that kind of work, they’d have done it by now. “Women in STEM”? Hah.”

        The women in STEM will be Asian-American women in STEM. See above.

        “The STEM fields women do tend to go into (mostly nursing) involves two things – they’re caring/nurturing; and they’re algorithm driven. They involve caring for other humans; and can be easily done by following policies, procedures, and flow charts. They involve less thinking and problem solving; and more following a predetermined, preset algorithm that tells the “practitioner” what to do every step of the way.”

        Nurses are quitting everyday in the USA. It’s actually a crisis if you’ve been following what’s going on in healthcare and in hospitals. And you’re wrong about it involving less thinking and problem solving. They’ve got human lives on their hands directly, it’s much more stressful.

        Anyway, in most hospitals, rehabs, nursing and old age homes I go to the staff are increasingly from other countries. The USA will go on, but our country’s builders and maintainers will be immigrants. I welcome it. They have great family values.

        Like

      • Grifter Shifter says:

        Jack,

        ”I know a couple guys making 6 figures who can’t get any IOIs from women. Then again, they won’t let on that they’re loaded, because they don’t want any gold diggers who will frivorce them 6 months after the ink dries.”

        If they’re working and successful they are not incels. Incel is a specific sub-culture. Spend some time on the Incel Forums and all kinds of mental illnesses are on display that prevent most of them from working full time or long term. Some are complete shut-ins. It goes way beyond just not being able to attract women.

        You didn’t indicate these men’s ethnicities but sometimes it helps to open one’s mind to other races and cultures to widen the pool. There’s quite a number of Black women online now expressly indicating that they want non-black men because they are tired of what they perceive as dysfunction in the “black community”. They want home, family and a more traditional lifestyle. They perceive white, asian and latino men as being more able to provide this with less drama and cheating than they would be able to secure in their own demographic.

        Like

      • Lastmod says:

        Again….

        Incel at one time was called “love shy” and this was waayyyyy back. A man named G. Martin (not the smartly dressed and dapper Beatles producer of the same name) coined the moniker. He was a whackjob, but even back in the late 1970’s and into the 1980’s he was on to something.

        He had some controversial ideas about this group of men, many of which probably could have worked in those days long ago…… Then again, probably not.

        I stumbled into an Incel forum back in 2008 / 2009.

        Broken men. But, at least they had found a community of sorts. I don’t know exactly when the term Incel became more common.

        I DO remember a French college student back in 1988 or 1989? going on a rampage in France and murdering a bunch of people. He was labeled a loser who “couldn’t get the girls”, and if you are a Frenchman and suffer from that problem…………… Well? C’est La Vie it wasn’t. I remember being stunned by the tragedy, but I also remember thinking, “Most people have no idea what torment he probably went through…” No, I didn’t justify the rampage or murder. I just felt strange at the time, thinking that, This is what the media came up with? That “He was a loser” and that “He couldnt get the girls”? And said with smirks and tinges of disgust for him?!? “WTH?!?” and “What does that have to do with murder?”

        Throughout history there have always been men who were unlucky at or in love. Even in the royal courts of Renaissance Italy there were short plays with a character who would be the “court jester” in a sense, lamenting over his situation to the howls of laughter by the lovely ladies and “better” men than him in these short sketches.

        Because of the Internet, this is all amplified beyond belief today.

        I belong to an Incel Dischord, and its older guys. We “don’t like our situation” and yes, we do believe “a bad and unfair hand was dealt us in life”, and also, “If we were coming up as teens before ca. 1970, most of us probably would have found someone.”

        But none of us live at home. All of us are employed. No one is on psychotropic drugs that shrinks try to push on us (we are not normal, if we just-went-out-and-had-a-winner-attitude we would be a hit with the ladies). We have tried just about everything……. and it is agreed…

        If a man is over 35 or so, and is in this situation, and always HAS been in this situation, time to fold and leave it alone.

        The younger set, some have rage and some are in such pain. No matter how awesome your personality is as a man, no matter how outgoing,….. If you are deemed ugly or too short by women. You’re a zero in todays world. It is automatically assumed that if a man is unattractive, he must be bad! Bad! BAD! This attitude has even infected the church.

        Look at the statements from our recent conservative christian female grifter. She wants men like this “put away” and “forced to have a community” together.

        Segue the Twilight Zone, “Eye of the beholder” anyone? 1194 anyone? Modern church anyone? Modern women wanting these dangerous men?

        [Jack: English mechanics and spelling edited for readability, and video added for reader’s ease of reference.]

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Grifter Shifter says:

    “Men are much better able to handle being alone than women are, PROVIDED that they have a MISSION.”

    Studies show that women handle singledom much better. This is because women maintain closer relationships with their family of origin and also form and keep networks of friendships. They may be living alone, but they don’t suffer the loneliness that men do. At least here in the USA. This is why I think these MGTOWs, MRAs and others who claim to “care” about men need to get offline, put some walk in their talk, and form actual real life communities. There’s a “mission” for them!

    “And women did not live very long after the children grew up.”

    This is something to consider. People died at ages we today would still consider “middle age”. Now with people living into their late 80s and 90s on the regular (and a push by the high tech “longevity industry” to make it to 120), couples have longer to stay together and drive each other bonkers.

    I get the feeling most men contributing here are 50+? Do you have kids, grandkids, nieces and nephews in their 20s or teens? If so, have you heard from them what they think about marriage? Or if it’s ever even crossed their minds? I’m not even 30 yet and I can tell you that even in my conservative Christian circles, teens are not desiring it even as much as I and my peers were just a decade ago. Parents, grandparents and Church elders are having a heck of a time selling the youth on the ideas of marriage, career, kids, and a boring settled life in a suburb as a “company man” (doesn’t exist, corporations care f**k all about you) or a company man’s wife. Capitalism and the “American dream” has lost it’s shine.

    Also, the idea that average men with average jobs are completely womanless and only Alpha Chads get relationships, short or long term, is false, although the internet may make some think it’s true. For those of us out and about in the real world, there are tons of average to below average men walking about with their very average to below average partners everywhere. Nobody looks like the people in the photos pictured here, and that’s part of the problem. I think if blogs like this posted pics of real people (think “People of Walmart”) instead of highly attractive models, incels, and sundry who don’t get out much, they may have more realistic ideas about life. The thumbnails on their YouTube videos also have unrealistically attractive filtered models (I know, for clicks and views because algorithm), instead of pics of the types of women that are more prevalent in society.

    Like

    • thedeti says:

      Jack –

      come on. Can we clean this up here?

      Like

    • locustsplease says:

      Men don’t care how attractive models are in online photos. They care that women in their SMV blow them off to b a side piece until they are 30. Then show up when they’ve got the cash, following a predictable script.

      Like

    • Lastmod says:

      On the photos used in blogs like this….

      Yes, every guy looks like a J Crew Model in the photos. The women walk straight out an LL Bean catalog. Just your run of the mill everyday people most men here evidently relate to. I dont, even when I was young. I could afford J Crew clothing, but looked nothing like the “guys” in these photos, and women who looked like these women rejected me even before I could muster up a hello. Life isn’t fair (I know), and god seems to create a lot of below average looking people and then sits on the throne demanding these same people to step up and marry and do all the things he commands.

      Most of the men here never had this problem (again life isn’t fair), and no women I have ever met in my 53 years ever had a problem getting a date.

      On women handling singledom better…

      I’ll take a dump in dress slacks right now if that was true. It isn’t. The “studies” are wrong. Women may indeed live longer and have a better social support system in their older age through social activities. (They go to a church — mostly older women. They go to the local WellBe Health, and other senior services — mostly women. They go to the local Democrat / Progressive fundraiser — mostly women.)

      It doesn’t mean they are handling it better. It means the activities provided at church, in politics, and in senior / older activities are geared towards them.

      Women don’t allow men to form a mission today (unless he is deemed hot). The MGTOWs that succeed in life mostly are:

      — Burned badly from a divorce, then finally 40% of their income came back to them after the kid(s) turned 18-21 and they could afford an apartment again.

      — Men who have aged up and out of marrying. No matter what they do, they will not be good enough, young enough, make enough money, have enough moxie or game, or frame to satisfy really any woman. They know this deep down.

      And…

      — Men who’ve had a bad break up and are “MGTOW forever” (until the next one shows up).

      MGTOW isn’t a mission. It isn’t a philosophy. It isn’t an organization with a corporate office and lobby in Washington DC. It doesn’t hold “fundraisers”. All it is is a framework of sorts and covers a wide swath of ideas about bachelorhood and living single as a man. Some men come and go. Some get what they need from it and never return. Some make online friendships, and some just see it for what it is.

      MRA’s are almost non-existent today. Any man that steps up for mens advocacy is destroyed by church, media, politicians (of both parties), and others, as someone who is violent, a crybaby, a whiner, a loser, and who is upset that women didn’t like him or find him attractive…. or a thousand other smears.

      On whatever else you babbled about………..

      80% of the women want the top 20% of men.

      The other 20% of women are told by the other 80% of women “you settled”.

      And the church and too many christians like to push marriage and the cost of it, and telling/making a man “Man up!” and the like, and then throw him under the bus if he cannot provide an upper-middle-class-lifestyle.

      Men are not welcome in church and I know this. I lived it. I’m done with it.

      There are ZERO conservative christian circles today. Zero. Well, except the Amish… and there are plenty of “christian romance novels” about this.

      Liked by 2 people

      • Oscar says:

        “Men are not welcome in church and I know this. I lived it. I’m done with it.

        There are ZERO conservative christian circles today. Zero. Well, except the Amish…”

        I recently attended a head of household meeting at church to elect new elders. Only men attended and voted. I’m not Amish.

        Like

      • Lastmod says:

        “I recently attended a head of household meeting at church to elect new elders. Only men attended and voted. I’m not Amish.”

        Wow. The Salvation Army even does that! I’m not Amish either, having a head of household meeting doesn’t make a church biblical nor conservative, nor even authentic.

        Wait….. Where in the Bible does the word “elder” or “deacon” apprear? It doesn’t. Jesus didn’t teach us to “elect leaders of my church by this or that method” and make sure you have priest, altarboy, praise team, praise leader, womens ministry, mens fellowship, head of household fellowship, diaper ministry, handing out the program ministry, liturical texts that you must read on certain days, or certains feasts, on certain years, a pope, a bishop, degrees from approved colleges and seminaries to preach on what “Jesus really meant to say”.

        It goes on.

        Also Jack liked my comment, argue with him for once.

        [Jack: Personal criticisms deleted.]

        Like

      • Grifter Shifter says:

        “80% of the women want the top 20% of men.”

        Isn’t that ratio taken from who swipes right on who’s photos on Tinder?

        I mean, dating app users can think whoever’s photos are “hot” but it doesn’t translate into who’s running errands with who in the real world. When you are out and about do you see most of the average every-day women with a small % of hot looking, wealthy appearing guys?

        Like

      • locustsplease says:

        Grifter,
        The number is based on a poll of women on a mainstream dating site. The men voted %20 most attractive, %20 very attractive, %20 average attractive, %20 below average, and %20 unattractive. The women voted %80 unattractive and %20 above average. And none as most attractive. I think it was Plenty of fish.

        The average American woman is 5,4″ 170. A group of them can’t find any men out of hundreds, even those who are very attractive or most attractive. And men above them they call below average — not even average. They do this until they start to age. It means you can b much more attractive than a woman and she still feels like she settled.

        I know it was me, her last best option, no chance of replacing me without down grading. My daughter said she’s going to marry Dwayne the rock Johnson. She’s that delusional.

        Are u married?

        Like

      • Grifter Shifter says:

        Locustsplease,

        “The number is based on a poll of women on a mainstream dating site… I think it was Plenty of fish.”

        Right. So simply swiping through and judging photos.

        “The average American woman is 5,4″ 170. A group of them can’t find any men out of hundreds, even those who are very attractive or most attractive. And men above them they call below average — not even average.”

        On the incel forums they post pics of models all day who they judge as 5-6s at best. They’ll post pics of average looking women and give them a rating of 2.

        “It means you can b much more attractive than a woman and she still feels like she settled.”

        No. It just means that this is the internet with photos and people are judging based photos only. Like a fun game. Don’t take it seriously.

        Average men and women are coupled up all around us and perfectly happy with each other. Does that mean they think each other look like 10s or they’re mad because they had to “settle”? No. It means that there are a lot of other factors besides just looks that make someone a suitable partner for them. Most 5s are not delusional thinking they are going to land a 10. And a 10 doesn’t necessarily make a good partner anyway.

        You read too much into Plenty of Phish.

        “I know it was me, her last best option, no chance of replacing me without down grading. My daughter said she’s going to marry Dwayne the rock Johnson. She’s that delusional.”

        There are some delusional people out there but most of us know what we can realistically expect from life. For the delusional, life itself has a way of humbling them at some point.

        Like

      • Oscar says:

        Jason / LastMod,

        “The Salvation Army even does that! I’m not Amish either, having a head of household meeting doesn’t make a church biblical nor conservative, nor even authentic.”

        Do only men serve as elders, attend head of household meetings and vote? If so, then how are men “not welcome”? And how is that not conservative? Would it be more conservative if women did all of that?

        “Wait….. Where in the Bible does the word “elder” or “deacon” apprear? It doesn’t.”

        Seriously, dude?

        Titus 1:5
        For this reason I left you in Crete, that you should set in order the things that are lacking, and appoint elders in every city as I commanded you…

        1 Timothy 3
        12 Let deacons be the husbands of one wife, ruling their children and their own houses well. 13 For those who have served well as deacons obtain for themselves a good standing and great boldness in the faith which is in Christ Jesus.

        I know you’ve read those scriptures because you’ve argued about them with me before. The whole Bible is God’s word, not just the parts you like.

        Like

    • Red Pill Apostle says:

      “Studies show that women handle singledom much better. This is because women maintain closer relationships with their family of origin and also form and keep networks of friendships.”

      https://www.upi.com/Health_News/2020/09/04/Antidepressant-use-rising-in-US-mostly-in-women-CDC-says/7341599224503/

      Square the circle of women being the ones that desire the marriage commitment more than men and the rise of antidepressant use among single women that greatly outpaces the increase amongst single men. Something is missing here between GS’s assertion and single women’s mental health.

      Jack – Again, this is a case study, that you should strongly consider preserving. I know thedeti wants the content cleaned up, but I liken this to free speech, where the answer is often not to silence unpopular speech but to discredit it with logic and facts then preserve it for all to see and learn from.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Grifter Shifter says:

        “Square the circle of women being the ones that desire the marriage commitment more than men and the rise of antidepressant use among single women that greatly outpaces the increase amongst single men.”

        Does it break down anti-d use between married and single women?

        Single men are hurting deeply these days. I’m concerned and want to see something done. I know women are hurting too but they reach out for help more. What can be done for single men? Any ideas?

        Like

      • Jack says:

        GS wrote,

        “Studies show that women handle singledom much better. This is because women maintain closer relationships with their family of origin and also form and keep networks of friendships.”

        What studies are you referring to? Assuming it is true, then what are the conditions that produce happy single women?

        RPA wrote,

        “Square the circle of women being the ones that desire the marriage commitment more than men and the rise of antidepressant use among single women that greatly outpaces the increase amongst single men. Something is missing here between GS’s assertion and single women’s mental health.”

        The thing that is missing is that most of those women on antidepressants are women who were called to marriage, but who instead rode the carousel, aborted their progeny, and postponed marriage until the very last egg. If there are happy single women out there, then it is because they were not called to marry, and they did not ride the carousel.

        Like

      • Grifter Shifter says:

        “The thing that is missing is that most of those women on antidepressants are women who were called to marriage, but who instead rode the carousel, aborted their progeny, and postponed marriage until the very last egg. If there are happy single women out there, then it is because they were not called to marry, and they did not ride the carousel.”

        Anti-ds are very common in our culture. School kids are put on them. Widows/widowers after the death of a spouse in order to get them over the initial hump. People who lose jobs. Married people. Autistic people. I would be surprised if the highest cluster of them were carousel riders. If not for the simple reason that CC riders are a small minority of women. If you listen to RP content you would walk away with the idea that by the age of 23 a woman has a “body count” of 300. Yes that was actually thrown out there on one of the milder, more mainstream YouTube channels “Jedidiah Bila” recently. The actual numbers are much, much, much lower, by like 297 lower. The average woman is just not that interested in having multiple partners every week. High body counts indicate extreme outliers and most likely some sort of sex work. For a Christian man that may be a virgin at 23 looking for a wife, a body count of 2 or 3 (or 1 even) may be too high for him, fair enough, but this idea that the average woman is out here “slaying strange peen” every week is just wrong. Women have “relationship sex”. If she has a new boyfriend every year from 18 to 28 then she would have a double digit number — 10 (assuming she had sex with each one). Women who have a new boyfriend every year are rare, though I’ve known a few. They were great looking and very social. Not the average of the many young women I’ve known. Add to that the fact that sex has been declining steadily amongst singles for the past several years. People are just less social in general because of the internet and now combine that with “the pandemic”. The RP rhetoric on body count is hyperbole mixed with a type of fantasy projection on what some men wish they could do.

        While the average 23 year old woman may not be a virgin, she also does not have even a double digit body count, forget about a triple digit.

        Like

    • Rowena says:

      Statement 1 — “Women handle singledom much better.”
      Statement 2 — “This is because women maintain closer relationships with their family of origin and also form and keep networks of friendships.”

      These 2 statements are self-contradictory. If a woman handled singledom much better she would NOT need to maintain close relationships with others.

      Secondly — If women handled singledom well; there would be ZERO lament for “Where have the good men gone?” and “MAN up!” speeches.

      The USA — the country you live in — is a free country. If a woman wants to live single and handles singledom well — she should stay single. No man has a problem with that. Men only have a problem when said woman complains and whines that it is the MAN’s fault she is single. It is HER choice. They are just respecting it.

      “Now with people living into their late 80s and 90s on the regular (and a push by the high tech “longevity industry” to make it to 120), couples have longer to stay together and drive each other bonkers.”

      Assumption — The longer 2 people live together, the more they will drive each other bonkers.

      If you believe that, then marriage is NOT a lifetime commitment to you. It is a relationship that stands till you get bored or tire of each other

      Truth — When 2 people have stayed together for decades — through sickness and health and richer and poorer and for better and worse — what you get is a DEEP INTIMACY. A connectedness. A BOND. You do not drive each other bonkers because you NEVER QUIT when the other person drives you bonkers. And as a Christian wife — you learn what drives your husband bonkers and you CHANGE that and voila! An amazing thing happens — He does not drive you bonkers either. Instead he showers you with love and affection.

      “I’m not even 30 yet and I can tell you that even in my conservative Christian circles, teens are not desiring it even as much as I and my peers were just a decade ago. Parents, grandparents, and Church elders are having a heck of a time selling the youth on the ideas of marriage, career, kids, and a boring settled life in a suburb as a “company man”…”

      I AGREE. Have you asked yourself why? Why is it that marriage — which is the bedrock of civilization — is not desired by teens?

      Also ask yourself the question — Why does marriage suddenly become desirable for most women in their 30’s? What is it about marriage that makes it NOT desirable in their teens and 20’s and suddenly desirable in their 30’s? Or do you believe that most 30 year old women do NOT desire marriage at all?

      Your usage of the phrase, “company MAN” — Most men never wanted to become a “COMPANY MAN”. Hint! It was not company loyalty that made a man want to be a ‘company man”. Men still chose the path of COMPANY MAN because traditional society demanded that they should be providers and protectors of WOMEN. Men do not want to be a “company man” anymore because women no longer require them to be their protectors and providers. Women do not need men at all. According to you — they handle singleness very well.

      So now men feel they have the OPTION and CHOICE to pursue whatever THEY want to do. Even if it is playing video games and staying in their parent’s home. The liberation that feminism gives women in abandoning their TRADITIONAL role as KEEPER of the home now affords men the LIBERATION for men from their TRADITIONAL role of PROTECTORS and PROVIDERS.

      Or were you under the assumption that WOMEN should be given freedom and choice to ABANDON their traditional roles… But men are expected to CONTINUE their TRADITIONAL roles??? Are men not allowed to make choices for what is best for THEM, or are they allowed to make choices only based on what women deem those choices to be?

      Your option for men to handle their loneliness and singledom is for them to join a monastery. That is a GREAT idea. You should have been there in the Garden of Eve to advise God. I mean what was God thinking??? It is not like Adam was complaining he was single. It was GOD who said, “It is not good for man to be alone.” He should have just made a monastery of men for Adam instead of creating Eve. And yet He did not. Wonder why?

      “Also, the idea that average men with average jobs are completely womanless and only Alpha Chads get relationships, short or long term, is false…”

      I AGREE. Questions to ask yourself — How many of those are MARRIED? How many with CHRISTIAN MARRIAGES? If not — why not?

      Liked by 2 people

      • Grifter Shifter says:

        Rowena,

        “These 2 statements are self-contradictory. If a woman handled singledom much better she would NOT need to maintain close relationships with others.”

        You lost me here. Are you saying it is healthy for people, whether married or single, to cut off from family of origin and have zero friends? And then if single, to go through life without a social network of any kind. I do see some people like this here but they are not well adjusted. People need people.

        One of the drawbacks of the internet is that it can give young people the illusion of “friends” and a “social network” when there is none.

        And the lack of family bonding with one’s own family is also sometimes a major problem in American culture.

        As far as why the Church teens I know personally who don’t want to get married and copy-paste their parents’ lifestyle onto their own, they give different reasons but most point to being scare of adulting and responsibility. Some cite “the economy”. I’m sure some, maybe most, will change their minds eventually. The internet is a major player in their lives and they get a lot of ideas from there. For better or worse.

        Celibacy has been part of Christianity since the beginning. Monasteries provide a communal lifestyle of brotherhood or sisterhood in Christ. Unfortunately Protestantism did away with them but the Orthodox and Catholics still maintain this great tradition. It’s a great alternative for Christians who don’t marry.

        Like

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  5. Jack says:

    I am back from vacation. Now catching up on what has been going on here.

    “Jack – Again, this is a case study, that you should strongly consider preserving. I know thedeti wants the content cleaned up, but I liken this to free speech, where the answer is often not to silence unpopular speech but to discredit it with logic and facts then preserve it for all to see and learn from.”

    I do believe in free speech. But it should be remembered that the purpose of free speech (IMO) is to expand and refine knowledge and bring the participant audience closer to an appreciation of the truth, and NOT to be a city dump of emotions and opinions that do little more than create more confusion and frustration.

    GS’s comments are heavy on opinion, light on facts, and covertly biased against men. Judging by the content and structure of GS’s comments, I’ve come to the conclusion that the writer is not a male, and it is therefore inappropriate for a forum designated primarily for men. I have decided to put GS on moderation, so as to keep the focus on topic and limit distractions and inflammatory garbledygook. WRT RPA’s suggestion, I’ll leave GS’s previous comments up as a case study of fem-centric thinking and culturally programmed argumentation.

    Note to GS: Not sure what your username GrifterShifter implies, or what your intentions are in commenting here, but there are no grifters at Sigma Frame. We’re just men trying to make sense of our lives and find ways to be better men and better Christians. You should be aware that anything you write here is going to be heavily scrutinized, dissected, and thoroughly sifted for it’s truth content. Women are welcome to comment as long as they are reasonable and respectful. It would help if you recognize this and not try to dominate the discussion and cast assumptions, without having first become familiar with this site and this community of men. Thanks~!

    Like

    • Oscar says:

      “Not sure what your username GrifterShifter implies, or what your intentions are in commenting here, but there are no grifters at Sigma Frame.”

      I don’t know about the rest of the men here, but I’m rolling in the dough thanks to my comments at Sigma Frame!

      Like

    • Grifter Shifter says:

      “Not sure what your username GrifterShifter implies…”

      My first comment on this blog was in reply to a thread about RP grifting and a comment about Kevin Samuels and whether he was a grifter or not. I said I thought he was and chose GS as my moniker.

      Like

    • thedeti says:

      “GS’s comments are heavy on opinion, light on facts, and covertly biased against men. Judging by the content and structure of GS’s comments, I’ve come to the conclusion that the writer is not a male, and it is therefore inappropriate for a forum designated primarily for men.”

      We’re also dealing with someone here who wants to participate in this community without being transparent about who and what she is. She won’t even confirm her sex. All we have is a passing statement about her age (“not even 30 yet”). So all I can be sure about is that I’m communicating with at best an uninformed woman who won’t be honest and forthright with us.

      Like

  6. Grifter Shifter says:

    “Not sure what your username GrifterShifter implies…”

    I came up with it on my first comment here in response to another comment questioning whether or not Kevin Samuels was a grifter.

    Like

  7. thedeti says:

    I’d like to disabuse everyone here of this notion that “Women have relationship sex”.

    Yes, women do have relationship sex. They also have fling sex, one night stand sex, FWB/f-buddy sex, situationship sex, “talking to”/”dealing with” sex, Spring Break sex, “we were on a break” sex, vacation sex, “travel” sex, and sugar baby/arrangement sex. Women have this sex because they can, because they can easily get it, because there are no short term consequences and few long-term consequences for doing so, because it’s fun, and because it’s the only way they can get attention from the men they really want for commitment, and because it gives them a longshot that they might actually lock down a “high value” man.

    In fact, the one regular female commenter here is just such an example of this latter woman: sexed up her unicorn hot guy with a “hail Mary” pass and it actually worked. She has a marriage the likes of which won’t be enjoyed by at least 95% of women.

    I know women have more sex than they admit to freely.

    1) When you really drill down with a woman, when you get to know her and talk to her, she fesses up to (some of) her fling sex, one nighters, sugar daddies, false starts, and ex-f_ckbuddies. All you have to do is get her to feel a bit comfy and ply her with some booze.

    2) what she won’t tell you, you can glean from her mementos and her social media.

    3) Women also confess only to P in V sex. When you talk to them, they confess to their other peccadilloes and misadventures that didn’t result in P in V. All the stuff they did ending in ‘-job’. The blowies, the handies, the messing around, the playing. To women, those don’t “count” because they’re not P in V.

    4) Women admit they lie regularly about this subject. They admit to counting only “relationship” sex and only P in V sex. They won’t admit to “the other stuff” because “it doesn’t count” or “those were just handies and blowies and they don’t count”.

    Don’t buy into the “women have only ‘relationship sex'” BS.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oscar says:

      “…because there are no short term consequences and few long-term consequences for doing so…”

      So they think, because they’re foolish. But yeah, it’s a lie that women only have “relationship sex”.

      Like

  8. thedeti says:

    Another reason I don’t believe the “Women Have Only Relationship Sex” BS.

    Statistics are that Christian women (or, at least, women who claim to be Christian and/or who regularly attend a church) admit to having, or having had, premarital/extramarital sex at a rate of at least 80%. Stated another way, 8 out of 10 “Christian” women have had premarital sex. These are women who, according to their stated faith, were having illicit sex. They aren’t supposed to ever have had any kind of sex at all other than married sex with their husbands.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. thedeti says:

    I’ll also debunk the “average and below average men are pairing up with average and below average women” and “Average men and women are coupled up all around us and perfectly happy with each other.” canards. You don’t even know what you’re looking at.

    1) The fact that a man is in a relationship doesn’t mean he’s getting what he wants and needs from that relationship. Most of those relationships are sexless dead bedroom relationships. He stays because crappy starfish twice a year blowie-less sex is better than nothing at all and he knows if this one ends it’ll be at least 6 months before he can replace her, if he can replace her at all. He also knows if he ends it with her she could be in another man’s bed by day’s end.

    2) The women in those relationships are sexually miserable. They treat their men like sh!t. They cheat on their men. Those women settled hard for those men because they could not get the men they really wanted for commitment.

    3) Really watch these alleged “average” couples. What you see is a henpecked p_ssywhipped beaten down broken man coupled with a harridan, overweight, alcoholic or drug addicted pain in the a$$ woman who settled for him and treats him accordingly. Watch them. Watch their public actions and you can glean the rest.

    Average men and women are miserable with each other because he’s taking what he can get and because she settled deeply to accept him and she never, ever lets him forget it. These “average” women positively hate the men they settled for, and they never let those men forget that, either.

    Liked by 5 people

  10. thedeti says:

    “How it will play out is how it’s playing out right now. Asians, both east and south will increasingly immigrate and do these jobs.”

    Wrong. This country isn’t bringing in Asians to clean sewers, pick up the garbage, fix cars, or work in trades. The people who have done that and who are doing it now are working class unskilled white, black, and Hispanic men.

    “The women in STEM will be Asian-American women in STEM. See above.”

    Wrong again. Asian-American women in STEM in the US work basically in medical research or as pediatricians or family practice physicians — two of the easiest medical disciplines to work in. Asian American women are not going into engineering or high level tech. They don’t work at water treatment plants or on assembly lines or heavy manufacturing or the trades or first responder work. They don’t do this work. Even if they can do it, they choose not to. You’re just objectively wrong about this.

    “Nurses are quitting everyday in the USA. It’s actually a crisis if you’ve been following what’s going on in healthcare and in hospitals. And you’re wrong about it involving less thinking and problem solving. They’ve got human lives on their hands directly, it’s much more stressful.”

    Bullsh!t. Nursing is more stressful because they want fewer nurses to do more work. Most nursing work is monitoring; watching CNAs and CMAs move patients, take temps, and wipe asses according to preset policies and algorithms; and doing what some barely English-proficient speaking physician told them to do.

    “Anyway, in most hospitals, rehabs, nursing and old age homes I go to the staff are increasingly from other countries. The USA will go on, but our country’s builders and maintainers will be immigrants. I welcome it. They have great family values.”

    No they’re not. Nursing is done primarily by working class and middle class white and black women. Asian women and immigrants are not by and large working as nurses. Immigrants to the US who work in medicine are almost always trained as physicians, not as nurses.

    You are just wrong across the board here.

    Like

    • Liz says:

      Think (like so many other things) it depends where you live and work.
      Last job I had at a nursing home (it has been a while…probably 8 years now), just about all the CNAs were immigrants from Haiti, Cuba, or countries in South America. It was true of the RNs also (Cuba, Peru, and other South America and Island countries). I doubt this has changed, if anything I’d guess there are more now. Also, Mom was in a memory care assisted living facility and most of the medical staff were immigrants also.

      Liked by 2 people

    • Oscar says:

      “Think (like so many other things) it depends where you live and work.”

      True. I work with a lot of Indian engineers, and a lot of them are women. They’re still a minority of our engineers, but it’s a substantial minority.

      Liked by 1 person

  11. thedeti says:

    “No. None of this is happening. They are living with their parents, well fed with access to healthcare and EBT cards. They will out their lives comfortably but miserable, largely because men who claim to care do nothing for them such as befriend them in real life.”

    Yes it is happening. They are being essentially locked out and starved out of participation in human society. Since they can’t be employed, they’re being anesthetized. When that no longer works, they’ll be put in gulags or camps, real or virtual. That’s the next stage. We’re already seeing this with incels being “canceled” and doxxed and ruined professionally, so they can’t work, can’t earn a living, and can’t participate in society. The last stage, the incel “final solution” if you will, is simply starving them off and waiting for them to die.

    Sociosexual cleansing.

    Like

  12. thedeti says:

    “An incel isn’t just some average to slightly above average looking neurotypical, socially well-adjusted and friendly but sometimes shy mid-man with a middle class income. Incels are neuro-atypical with lots of neurosis, issues, and hang-ups.”

    No. YOU have no idea what an actual incel is. Your idea of who and what incels are is, at best, incomplete.

    Yes, a lot of men who are incels meet that definition up there. But there are a lot of men who meet the definition of incel (involuntary celibate, unable to get or secure sexual relationships with women) who do not. Lots of well adjusted men, mentally and emotionally secure men, men with good jobs, and men with hobbies and interests that don’t involve dinosaurs, railroads, science fiction, or action figures.

    Maybe step out of your preconceived notions for a minute. For all your deprecation of Kevin Samuels, he was right about this: You women don’t know men, you don’t know what men are about, you don’t know what makes men tick, you don’t know what they want, and you don’t know where to find quality men. You literally don’t know what you’re talking about. That’s not an insult; it’s just a statement of fact. You’re ignorant. You’re holding forth on subjects and topics you know nothing about.

    You really should just stop talking.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. thedeti says:

    “If they’re working and successful they are not incels. Incel is a specific sub-culture. Spend some time on the Incel Forums and all kinds of mental illnesses are on display that prevent most of them from working full time or long term. Some are complete shut-ins. It goes way beyond just not being able to attract women.”

    Yes, there is a “subculture” identified with “incels”, but “incel” has a specific meaning. It’s an abbreviation for “involuntary celibate”. At its core, “incel” just means “man who cannot get sex”. That what we’re talking about here. That’s ALL we’re talking about here.

    Women cannot be incels. There is no such thing as a female incel. There is no such thing as a woman who cannot get sex (except for a vanishingly infinitesimally small number of grotesquely deformed mentally ill women — of the many women I’ve known over my life, I know one woman who was a true incel).

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Elspeth says:

    You reference me repeatedly deti, and a lot of it is rather nonsensical. Why would a man with access to copious amounts of sex marry an average girl because she “sexed him up”? Clearly he saw something worth committing to that he hadn’t encountered before.

    This is where specifics matter, and despite my foolish over divulgence over the years, there is -as there always is– more to a thing than anyone outside of those privy to it can possibly know. I’ve been insulted, reviled, and demeaned by you without retaliation in kind, and the one time (one time!) I do, it was like I threw some kind of molotav cocktail. I come back four days later to find I have been literally shamed, derided, and every other thing.

    You’d think I was some feminist, not someone who has been a consistently sympathetic (if not perfect), voice on what has become of marriage and relationships in the West, largely at the hands of feminists, dumb women, and their powerful male allies. The reason these things can’t be discussed is because just like as the left, any meager step or stray from the narrative is met with attack.

    I’ll tell you what. Can we agree that if I go silent, you will refrain from talking about me? Sounds like a fair enough deal since a female perspective is undesired anyway.

    Liked by 1 person

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