Jack on Female Agency

Women need emotional support and constant encouragement, feedback, and guidance to exercise agency.

Targeted Readership: Men
Theme: Female Agency and Accountability
Author’s Note: This essay is based on my previous comment and those of other commenters. Links to original comments are embedded in the initial word.
Reader’s Note: Many of the supporting concepts discussed in this essay can be found elsewhere on the Manosphere. Relevant references are duly provided for the reader’s further study.
Length: 1,200 words
Reading Time: 6 minutes + 5:40 minutes of video shorts.

Jack’s Theory of Female Agency

So far this month, we’ve seen quite a bit of discussion about women’s moral agency.

Putting this all together, I will postulate here that the reason why the very existence of women’s agency is questionably vague to men, is the sum result of several interdependent conditions and motivating factors, which are listed as follows.

  1. Women’s general awareness focuses primarily on (1) maintaining a sense of emotional balance and socio-spiritual security (AKA “the feeelz”), and (2) establishing and maintaining a cascading chain of increasing ego relevancy (getting attention, Feedback, etc.). As a result, women’s concept of cause-and-effect is centered around this consciousness, and not one of purpose and longitudinal outcome, as a man would think.
  2. Aside from certain areas of particular interest to women (i.e. the general focus of awareness described in (1), e.g. establishing and maintaining ego primacy, garnering or avoiding attention, etc.), women are generally unaware that they have a choice in how they react to their circumstances. So instead of taking responsibility for their choices, they will blame the circumstances or others who are involved, and/or resort to evasion and control tactics.
  3. Women are generally hesitant to trust in men and their leadership, and this is often times an expression of their faltering trust in God.
  4. Related to 1-3, the peculiar inclination common to women in their attempts to dominate and control men, AKA “The Curse of Eve”.
  5. A combination of the above causes women to revert into a solipsistic, narcissistic, Machiavellian character, in a self-defensive reaction to the above confines.
  6. The Machiavellian nature of women has thus made it appear as though Women lack agency. That is to say, under certain circumstances, it is in a woman’s interest, although not necessarily her best interests, to avoid letting men have the certainty that she possesses agency, thereby appealing to men’s performative nature (e.g. Chivalry, White Knighting) and abrogating the associated responsibilities thereof.
  7. One benefit of feigning helplessness is for her to retain the liberty of her Feelz, to maintain a semblance of control over the cascade, and all while reassigning the sense of duty and physical work to the male. It should be noted that such a strategy takes advantage of the altruistic instincts present in the male, that of acting as a provider and protector.
  8. The way things play out IRL usually tends to lock women into this state of consciousness — unless / until adverse circumstances (e.g. desperate helplessness, the responsibilities of motherhood, etc.) strike, and/or a higher authority (e.g. God, or a man) steps in and shakes things up.

In the application, the most important points are as follows.

  1. Point (1) above cannot be changed, but it can be managed.
  2. In terms of female psychology, Points 1-2 are often described as solipsistic.
  3. As long as a woman languishes in the conditions described in 2-6, she will remain spiritually immature.
  4. Men must be aware of the above, but especially to avoid succumbing to points 6-7.
  5. It is up to men to create conditions that foster accountability, introspection, and self-awareness for women.
  6. The degree to which a woman (and men too) possesses and exercises moral agency, is directly proportional to her level of spiritual maturity.
  7. As NaturallyAspirated observed, love is the freely chosen action of a moral agent.
  8. Love begins where perfection ends.
Sheena feels loved when Trid calls out her errors and shortcomings.

Women’s Agency is Dependent on Men’s Agency

Oscar wrote,

“As always, don’t just listen to what people say, watch what they do.”

As I’ve been writing posts for this month’s theme, I have come to the same idea. The assessment and assignation of Agency is more about people’s behaviors than what they actually say or even believe. And it’s not only women’s behaviors that come into the equation.

“A lot of men who claim that women have no moral agency hold women accountable for their actions.”

Yes, I’ve noticed this too, although it seems kinda rare. The interesting thing is that their belief that women DO NOT have agency is what motivates them to hold them accountable. Whereas, men who believe that women DO have agency tend to sit back on their laurels with the expectation that women will exercise agency of their own initiative. But the interesting thing here is that women don’t work that way. Usually, whenever you see a woman who actually exercises agency, somewhere in the background there is a man providing the framework / guidance / initiative / incentive / motivation for the woman to be that way.

“In so doing, these men prove that they actually believe that women do have moral agency.”

Yes, but this belief is shown in practice, not in cognition. They may very well have no awareness at all about this difference. This is an example of how people can believe falsehoods in their heads that actually reinforce the practice of truth in their lives. Similarly, people can believe truths in their heads, but have no idea how to practice those truths in their lives.

Often times, it doesn’t help to talk about the factual truth with women like men would reason amongst themselves. The trick in dealing with women is not so much about speaking or even thinking the factual truth; it’s more about bringing the actual truth to life, which is not at all the same thing.

The thing that is relative to our discussion of agency is that women will only change their mindset and take appropriate action after a man (or men) step in and redirect the course. If men don’t intervene, then women will continue in a state of confusion, depression, frustration, etc.

So instead of seeking to engage in rational discussions with women, it may be more beneficial and efficient for men to redirect women’s train of thought by interjecting fantasy, mythos, light-hearted humor, and painting an illustration of a glorified Life in the Spirit. Also, Men should be careful not to fall into the traps of admitting women’s arguments or taking women’s negativity seriously.

A few examples of how to create a guiding frame were given in previous comments from Jack and Red Pill Apostle. Also see deti’s many comments. Or check out how Trid interacts with Sheena in the videos!

Trid adopts mythos as a form of humor, with great effect.

Concluding Statements

We all have latent agency. We all have a domain of influence in which there are things we can control, and people we can influence.

We all have limited agency. There are boundaries to our domain of influence, and things over which we have zero influence or control.

Wisdom lies in…

  • Categorizing things accurately.
  • Being aware of boundaries.
  • Maintaining boundaries responsibly.
  • Behaving accordingly.

The task remains to develop the full capacity of moral agency within our personal domain in order to become a moral agent of God’s love. Love between conscious entities reaches its true nature in glory only when it is freely chosen.

As Dave Ramsey put it,

“Work like it all depends on you, and pray like it all depends on God.”


About Jack

Jack is a world traveling artist, skilled in trading ideas and information, none of which are considered too holy, too nerdy, nor too profane to hijack and twist into useful fashion. Sigma Frame Mindsets and methods for building and maintaining a masculine Frame
This entry was posted in Agency, Boundaries, Calculated Risk Taking, Chivalry, Collective Strength, Comedy, Communications, Conserving Power, Courtship and Marriage, Decision Making, Discernment, Wisdom, Discipline, Discipline and Molding, Enduring Suffering, Fantasy and Illusion, Female Evo-Psych, Fundamental Frame, Game, Game Theory, Glory, Headship and Patriarchy, Holding Frame, Identity, Inner Game, Intersexual Dynamics, Introspection, Joy, Leadership, Love, Male Power, Masculine Disciplines, Maturity, Personal Growth and Development, Models of Success, Moral Agency, Organization and Structure, Personal Domain, Personal Presentation, Persuasion, Power, Psychology, Purpose, Relationships, Sanctification & Defilement, Satire, Self-Concept, Self-Control, Solipsism, Sphere of Influence, Teaching, The Hamster, The Power of God, Trust. Bookmark the permalink.

15 Responses to Jack on Female Agency

  1. redpillboomer says:

    “Wisdom lies in…

    — Categorizing things accurately.
    — Being aware of boundaries.
    — Maintaining boundaries responsibly.
    — Behaving accordingly.”

    This is good! I’ve found that when I reach a point in my thinking, my analysis of things, where I can categorize something ACCURATELY, the boundaries and behaviors align naturally and then things work well, aka as designed (by God).

    This whole Red Pill journey, in one sense has been about getting things categorized accurately, and then setting up the proper emotional and mental boundaries that go with that accurate categorizing. After that it’s just then a matter of continuing to think and act inside those boundaries, tweaking the boundary system as new pieces of information get added. This makes for a much more EFFECTIVE and fulfilling life, especially in this area of relationships.


    • Oscar says:

      Sometimes I get exasperated about things over which I have little or no influence. I’ve found that in those times, it helps me a lot to just work on something I can control, even if it’s something completely unrelated to the thing that is exasperating me.

      The key is to work on something constructive, and preferably physical – tinkering on my motorcycle, fixing a fence, building a piece of furniture for my kids… whatever. As long as it’s constructive and physical.

      Oftentimes, the problem seems to fix itself. Maybe I’m kidding myself. Maybe the only thing that changed is my attitude.

      I don’t really care. It works for me, and maybe others will find it helpful.

      Liked by 2 people

      • naturallyaspirated says:


        Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change

        The courage to change the things I can

        And the wisdom to know the difference

        Liked by 2 people

  2. Scott says:


    In the oppressive regime that is the Klajic home, the women-folk begin slaving over the food the night prior to thanksgiving.


    Liked by 4 people

    • cameron232 says:

      Awesome buddy. Your daughter looks like Mychael.

      I think mine has a cheesecake already made.


    • Jack says:

      Thanksgiving happens to be my favorite holiday.

      Thanksgiving is not a holiday here in Taiwan, but there have been a few years in which I hosted a lavish thanksgiving meal for my family and friends.

      Turkey is not hard to find here, but a well-cooked turkey is. To get a turkey done right, I had to order a turkey from a 5 star international hotel downtown (which wasn’t cheap, about $120). The other standard fares, cranberry sauce, mashed potatoes, pumpkin pie, etc. are rare and hard to find. I obtained them by shopping here and there to find all these items (international food markets like Jason’s grocery, Costco, custom order bakeries…). All in all, it’s a monumenous expense and labor to put it all together, so I don’t do it every year.

      Like Scott’s family, in my family of origin the women did most of the preparation for holiday meals. Working in the kitchen and feathering the nest are ways that women can be quite skilled in exercising agency. It’s too bad that many of the younger generation are not as involved in the process as previous generations were. Female Agency in itself is becoming a lost art.

      Happy Thanksgiving to all~!

      Liked by 2 people

      • Oscar says:

        Our Thanksgiving started out great! The septic tank in the rental house backed up last night. Have you ever seen poop water in the bathtub? I have now!

        Consequently, I’m not smoking a turkey, like I normally do. Oh well.

        We’re hanging out at the in-laws’ house, and the septic guy is coming over tomorrow.

        In the meantime, there’s a ton to be thankful for.

        Liked by 1 person

      • cameron232 says:

        “Have you ever seen poop water in the bathtub?”

        Why yes I have. 7 was born at home in the tub. I scooped it out with one of those little green goldfish nets.

        Liked by 1 person

      • cameron232 says:

        Paraphrasing Cousin Eddie from the Vacation movies: “Happy Thanksgiving! Sh!tter’s full.”

        Liked by 3 people

  3. redpillboomer says:

    “Like Scott’s family, in my family of origin the women did most of the preparation for holiday meals. Working in the kitchen and feathering the nest are ways that women can be quite skilled in exercising agency.”

    Yes, my wife excels at this; she loves to cook, especially Holiday meals. This year was really interesting as we’re going over to a friend’s for Thanksgiving. She still prepared a full meal here at home, even though we only have to bring one dish to the friend’s house, because as she put it, “We’ll have leftovers all week long. I love Thanksgiving leftovers!”

    She taught our daughter to do this too when she was young. It is heart warming to see modern day women being “traditional” because it still just resonates with being part of the “natural order” of things. And for my part, I enjoy cleaning the kitchen as she goes along, loading the dishwasher over and over, because she produces so many kitchen utensils, pots, and pans that need to be cleaned as she cooks.

    Happy Thanksgiving to everyone in the States and abroad who celebrates the Holiday today!

    Liked by 3 people

  4. Lastmod says:

    On call, and actually working. If I just sit at home while on-call, I will get sad, I will get depressed.

    I decided to go to work. I do have memories of Thanksgivings as a boy, teen and young man. They were good. Since moving out to California, I rarely have celebrated. I was always working / guy on call for the holiday.

    I have to make it like “just like any other day” or I will get very sad for the most part.

    Tomorrow will be easier. I decorate the house for Christmas, not outlandish…but I do decorate. I put the Christmas albums on from when I was a boy / teen (Perry Como, Ed Ames, Dean Martin, that 1980’s comp album from 1987 called “a very special christmas” (Madonna, U2, Pointer Sisters, John Mellancamps et all). I write all the Christmas cards, and then I will go to a mall (Galleria and maybe the Grove) walk around, window shop…….

    I dont hate Thanksgiving, but if you are single and really dont have family nearby……not much that you can do about it.

    Liked by 4 people

  5. Oscar says:

    Happy Thanksgiving, ya bunch of he-man woman-haters!


  6. Pingback: Don’t Be Little Kenny | okrahead

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