Game is an invitation to Humility

…and Humility leads to Validation.

Readership: All; Men;
Theme: Feminine Submission
Length: 1,000 words
Reading Time: 6 minutes

I received an email from a female reader who brought up many questions related to the previous week’s focus on Sexual Submission (2022-10-14).  I covered 8 of her questions in yesterday’s post, Validation is about Losing Self-Control (2022-10-24).  This post will cover 3 more of her questions related to Game, Humility, and Validation.

She writes,

Question 9 — In the last section of your post about Sexual Submission: The Fear of Mismatch, you described why women are fascinated by the sexually experienced man.  She is searching for the man who will humble her and make her have the wildest Validational Sex (VS) possible.  She is confident he has made others lose control, so he will make her lose control too.  If sexual experience is enough to grab a woman’s interest, then how does Game fit into this?

One of the common criticisms of Game is that it is humiliating to women.  However, the CH Maxim, “Chicks dig jerks” is true for this very reason.  As I explained in yesterday’s post, women need to be humbled in order to have VS.  The whole point of PUA style Game is a man demonstrating that he can humble women outside the bedroom.  This convinces women that he can also humble them inside the bedroom, so the interaction quickly escalates to sexual intercourse because women desperately want to lose self-control and have VS.

Question 10Deep Strength has condemned Game as an instrument of the flesh.  But the idea I get from you is that Game is essentially charisma and confidence — good qualities for a man to have — and that this has an important place in dealing with a spiritually immature woman.  Is it really necessary or proper for married Christian men to Game their wives?”

The concept of Game is fraught with different definitions, motivations, and degrees of moral substance and value.  For married Christian men, it may be better to think in terms of what his wife wants and needs, and what will humble his wife and bring her to her knees (literally), even things that she is unaware of or unwilling to talk about.  This approach hearkens back to the basic mechanics of why Game works.  However, this is A Revised Understanding of Game which is quite different from the old PUA concept of Game as a toolbox for creating raw attraction, which IMO, is a simplistic and somewhat outdated assessment of intersexual congress.  I’ve come to have a greater appreciation of the Spiritual Significance and Social Value of Game.

To answer your question, I would say that it is beneficial for all men to develop their Game, but only necessary for some men, especially those men who have a wife who is spiritually weak or defiled, namely…

  • Women with a weak faith.
  • Women who are very young.
  • Women who lack moral agency.
  • Women who are emotionally immature.
  • Women who are defiled / have a history of sexperience.
  • Women who are very attractive and have been spoiled with a lot of attention.
  • Women who are codependent, dysfunctional, traumatized, or who have psychological disorders, e.g. Bipolar, BPD, NPD, etc.

The problem is that most (???) Western women fall into one or more of these categories, so I have to say the generalized answer is that Game is beneficial in vetting out such women and it is absolutely necessary for men married to such a woman.  It is hoped that such a woman can grow up and develop moral agency at some point in time, but until that time, there is little other recourse than wisdom, prayer, and Game.

IMO, the problem surrounding a lack of sexual attraction / arousal which Thedeti often describes can be shored up with some Game.  When men can’t or won’t learn Game, then relationships with these kinds of women will get progressively worse until Thedeti’s nuclear option becomes necessary.  So instead of letting a wayward wife’s shenanigans and sh!t tests rule the roost, I think Game is a better method of managing a wife and keeping the relationship more pleasant than not.

Question 11 — On the other side, men want a wife who is a virgin — a woman who has never lost control nor has been ruled by anyone else other than him.  I would imagine VS with a virgin would be intrinsically satisfying to a man as he knows HE is the only one that has made her have VS and her loss of control is ONLY by him.  Does that make sense?”

Yes, that’s right.  When dealing with a virgin, obtaining Validational Sex and sanctification is rather simple, straightforward, and easy to achieve for several reasons.

  1. She’s fresh, innocent, and unspoiled (although she’ll probably be a PITA).
  2. He can learn her hot buttons / erotic blueprint first hand.
  3. Since he was the first to pioneer her hot buttons, he has first dibs on her heart.
  4. She belongs exclusively to him in a way that no other man ever can.
  5. A man can be confident that she is not given to losing control randomly and spontaneously with other men.
  6. He can take some precautions to protect her from being Gamed and plowed by other men.
  7. The interaction is not cluttered and polluted with any psychological baggage resulting from her having a sexual history.

This ties back to Deep Strength’s post about Why expectations of men and women are out of control (2022-10-14), which I expanded upon in The Wages of Sin are Paid in Marriage (2022-10-15).  Furthermore, Manosphere Highlights Daily has a video that explains how women become spoiled, not just by sexperience, but merely by getting widespread unfettered attention!

Manosphere Highlights Daily: 15 Year Old Lady Proves Why Modern Women have Unrealistic Expectations | Dopamine Explained (2021-5-26) Length: 13:27

I take it that the dopamine addiction, the increased expectations for women, and so on are similar for men when they view p0rnography.

Related

About Jack

Jack is a world traveling artist, skilled in trading ideas and information, none of which are considered too holy, too nerdy, nor too profane to hijack and twist into useful fashion. Sigma Frame Mindsets and methods for building and maintaining a masculine Frame
This entry was posted in Agency, Attraction, Charisma, Choosing a Partner or Spouse, Confidence, Conserving Power, Courtship and Marriage, Discernment, Wisdom, Discipline, Enduring Suffering, Female Evo-Psych, Fundamental Frame, Game, Game Theory, Headship and Patriarchy, Holding Frame, Inner Game, Intersexual Dynamics, Introspection, Male Power, Manosphere, Masculine Disciplines, Maturity, Personal Growth and Development, Moral Agency, Personal Domain, Power, Psychology, Purpose, Questions from Readers, Relationships, Sex, Sexual Authority, Sphere of Influence, Strategy, The Power of God, Vetting Women. Bookmark the permalink.

27 Responses to Game is an invitation to Humility

  1. Lastmod says:

    You said men should develop Game for men who have a wife that has:

    Women with a weak faith.
    Women who are very young.
    Women who lack moral agency.
    Women who are emotionally immature.
    Women who are defiled / have a history of sexperience.
    Women who are very attractive and have been spoiled with a lot of attention.
    Women who are codependent, dysfunctional, traumatized, or who have psychological disorders, e.g. Bipolar, BPD, NPD, etc.

    First, these are RED FLAGS and he married her anyway. Secondly, look what he has to deal with. He has to play HER games in order to keep her. Driving sideways and running in circles to keep her “happy”

    He probably already has “game” by being an assh*le, cocky-funny, burping and farting jokes not knowing the difference between “King Lear” and “King Kong”

    He kind of GOT what he wanted in a wife….so why would he have to learn Game when game got him this kind of wife?????????????????????????????????????

    You guys just cant let it “go” that game was an utter disaster on men, and now almost a generation removed from the initial start or thereabouts….we have even a BIGGER problem. When everyone plays “games” the rules change, the ante is ALWAYS upped and the slavish defence of it become more “sacred” and “holy”

    If men and women were just honest most of these dating issues would go away. Turning sex and mane and women into some deep spycho-babble with new term (VS). Yea, make sure you teach your son the nuances of ALL of this, and it still wont work because his wife can still just divorce him………

    Liked by 5 people

    • ramman3000 says:

      “If men and women were just honest”

      If only. I’m not interested in playing games. Most relationship advice glosses over and excuses all the lying. Give me a woman who doesn’t lie, and that advice will no longer be required.

      Liked by 6 people

    • Sharkly says:

      “If men and women were just honest most of these dating issues would go away.”

      I was 100% honest. I couldn’t make the issues go away by my honesty alone. Most women don’t have a good understanding of themselves, and usually they’re not just unaware, but they’re delusional, imagining themselves to be things they’re not. They imagine themselves as being loving while they’re being a raging bitch, they imagine themselves to be submissive when they’ve refused to submit on fundamental conflicts they suddenly created at the very outset of their marriage which they routinely threaten the marriage over, and etc. Women won’t be honest while they are deceived and don’t realize what the truth is. If women could be honest like men, marriage would be far easier than having a roommate. I’m not saying some marriages don’t achieve that condition, but that is becoming rarer all the time in our deluded Feminist culture.

      Liked by 5 people

    • Red Pill Apostle says:

      Lastmod,

      “First, these are RED FLAGS and he married her anyway. Secondly, look what he has to deal with. He has to play HER games in order to keep her. Driving sideways and running in circles to keep her “happy”…”

      What you wrote can certainly be the case. Missing red flags is certainly me (for a few reasons which I’ve written on in the past) and primarily relying on the tools of “game” as a foundation for the relationship gives the exact outcome you’ve concluded happens; tons of work for the man, and/or a woman whose attraction is solely dependent on his performance.

      From my experience some of what “game” practitioners, at least from what I’ve read on Heartiste, champion does work on my wife and it’s not all that much work to do. I liken it to having the correct tool for the job. A surgeon trying to perform surgery with a kitchen spatula does not mean that the spatula is defective, it means the spatula is better used for it’s intended purpose.

      I’ll give you a real life example of game working . I know my wife’s cycle. One day she asked me to help her choose between two pairs of shoes and I knew she was in the ovulation window, so I told her the pair that would be more noticeable. She exclaimed that she was thinking the same thing and asked me why I chose them. I could have told her the reason was I knew where she was in her cycle and made my answer hum drum. But I told her that she looked like she was “feeling it” that day and should have a shoe with a little more pizzazz. She replied that I was right and left feeling that I understood her. The truth is that I really did understand her, but I kept the mystery of me “getting” her by not squashing it with cold logic. “Game” …. Right tool for the application, not all that much effort and my wife left feeling good about the interaction.

      For me “game” provides the ancillary tools for the job of being married. If those tools were the primary basis for the relationship, the relationship would fail.

      Liked by 6 people

      • Lastmod says:

        Knowing your wife’s cycle is now “Game” oh boy oh boy oh boy……….

        Liked by 2 people

      • surfdumb says:

        I think that confirms what Jason said, lots of nuances and complex rules. The reply you gave is easy, because it was one sentence, but getting to that point seems like an overwhelming burden to me that isn’t intended to be part of marriage.

        Liked by 2 people

      • Red Pill Apostle says:

        surfdumb,

        My conversation with the Mrs. was a normal interaction that married couples commonly have. I took the opportunity that a regular conversation presented to me and played it to make my wife have a good moment. Game. Not hard to do, not forced at all, absolutely part of marriage, unless making your spouse feel good, be playful or laugh stops after the vows are said.

        Because of shared experiences over the years game actually gets much easier because there are a host of inside jokes that build up over time. If I can get her to laugh at a seemingly inappropriate time with an inside joke I consider it my good deed for the day and then it’s Miller time gentlemen.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Red Pill Apostle says:

        Lastmod,

        “Knowing your wife’s cycle is now “Game” oh boy oh boy oh boy……….”

        Don’t be silly. Knowing simple things to do that keep her life interesting is game. Her cycle is merely the biological knowledge I used to help me do this.

        Liked by 2 people

    • thedeti says:

      If we don’t want game, the only cure is

      — make women do without husbands
      — make women suffer the consequences of dealing with players, PUAs, and very attractive men with options who won’t commit
      — reintroduce hard patriarchy

      Of course, until patriarchy is restored (which won’t happen for at least 100 years if not more), that means most men will do without sex, marriage, or children. It means the few men who do get sex will have to deal with damaged women. It means the men who choose to marry will have to pay for the privilege of dealing with damaged women.

      Liked by 2 people

      • Red Pill Apostle says:

        thedeti,

        “It means the few men who do get sex will have to deal with damaged women. It means the men who choose to marry will have to pay for the privilege of dealing with damaged women.”

        Welcome to the part of 1 Cor 7 that most of us mentally gloss over. It’s the part where Paul says that marriage is a good option but less good than being single, should a person have the self control to remain single and not sin sexually.

        v 8-9: 8 But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am; 9 but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.'”

        v25-28: 25 Now concerning virgins: I have no commandment from the Lord; yet I give judgment as one whom the Lord in His mercy has made trustworthy. 26 I suppose therefore that this is good because of the present distress—that it is good for a man to remain as he is: 27 Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be loosed. Are you loosed from a wife? Do not seek a wife. 28 But even if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. Nevertheless such will have trouble in the flesh, but I would spare you.

        The end of v 28 is the one that struck me as true the other day. Paul had enough status as a Pharisee to have option to pick the trouble that he wanted to deal with in life and chose to be single. Then he travels to churches all around the old world and pens v 28. Apparently, less has changed in 2000 years than we’d like to believe …. Food for thought on this Tuesday in October.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Lastmod says:

        First, we have to have and play “game” today because of many men out there played EXACTLY into what women wanted. Being “funny” (assh*le), making her laugh, having “confidence” (whatever that means, and game caters to HER subjectivity of what all these words mean…at that moment). Game also still says “looks don’t matter to women” and plays up peacocking, and comfortable with yourself.

        Everything a woman says she “wants” in a man, game laid it out but done in a “guys way” making him think he was in control of everything.

        The real cure is in your Bible. “have your yes mean yes and your no mean no”

        That would really solve about 75% of dating / asking a gal out problems and issues and even into planning a future together.

        We have to “re-invent the wheel” sell books about “rationality” and “logic” and then play the monkey. When everyone is cocky-funny NO ONE is. When every man has “amazing confidence” well, really no man has this……the ONLY thing women had left was looks mattering to them, and they played it, and its not going anywhere

        The game is over. Be hot, or just “burn” and realize if you are a christian there is no marriage in heaven, and “aw thats too bad!”

        OR

        Become an angry Incel which justifies Game logic “see, you act this…no wonder women don’t like you!” Without stating the obvious. Dude is as ugly as a pile of mush. The final option is indeed MGTOW and improve what you can…….and hope for the best.

        The “game” is up and in all games, there are a few winners and many, many more losers. Game has set itself up for women to win, pick and choose….men to pander, and think they are in charge and are “amazing”

        As if.

        Liked by 3 people

      • Lastmod says:

        RPA said “should a person have the self control to remain single and not sin sexually”

        So, the lower third of men and growing should GET that self control, and if they cant get that self control, well….sucks to be them. The Bible says so. Just do it.

        But, place yourself in that situation. The way some of you speak in here, its almost a crime if you go a few hours without sex. “Its grounds for divorce!” and “Men cannot live without it!” and “God gave men this sex drive. Its okay, its natural…..but don’t do it until you are married, and if you do…its okay, they is a guy named Jesus and he forgives that kind of thing for men!” (meaning the top 20%, anyone else need to get right and really “pray” about it and “beg” for forgiveness)

        You’re all married. You all had “vast opportunities to have lots and lots of sex with lots and lots of different women”

        Some of you did. No bolts of lightening struck any of you down. In fact, many of you were REWARDED for such behavior. If a woman has sex once before marriage, many of you want her sitting in a corner in a church in shame for the rest of her life.

        You still think the methods of twenty plus years ago are “foolproof” for finding a good wife that doesn’t exist but are everywhere.

        Most men are going to have to settle. You guys just lecture, and then you want men to remain single, but yet want them married, but yet have them marry a virgin at 19, who just happens to be an 8-10 in looks while the man should have decent provision and his life mission figured oout. Simple right?

        I’ve said it before. Let’s suppose I was the most set apart, holy and striving for righteous man in your church. I was a life long bachelor, I finally got my act together provision wise. I was in my late forties. Your daughter is 20? 21? 19?

        No way, not ever would you let me look at, try to date, court or marry her. You wouldnt let me use “game” on her, and further……you would want to talk behind the church “man to man” about me trying these things with her. You would probably bring a few fellow self-righteous goons with you to make the point.

        Its just really deep in here on these matter, and too many men see right through it. “It was okay for me, but not you…well, my son will be allowed…but no one else!!!”

        Liked by 3 people

      • feeriker says:

        This discussion brings back memories of this “oldie but goodie:”

        Like

  2. redpillboomer says:

    “The problem is that most (???) Western women fall into one or more of these categories, so I have to say the generalized answer is that Game is beneficial in vetting out such women and it is absolutely necessary for men married to such a woman.”

    I’d re-word this slightly… Red pill knowledge is beneficial, if not essential, for vetting out such women; and Game is helpful for approaching a woman you’re interested in and you think is NOT one of these women. She may actually be worth attempting to date, court, and have an LTR with, then possibly marriage, IF… IF… IF no hidden red flags come up that actually places her back in one of those categories, IOW she’s a chameleon.

    Game is what creates a “playful” relationship, the sexual tension thing, and creates increased interest in the relationship progressing further or not, depending on how things develop. I’ll admit I’m thinking and speaking from somewhat of an old school frame, at least it seemed to be the way it worked back in the day. Nowadays, I think the whole SMV/MMV structure has been so corrupted that it is very much a thing of the past, to vet with Game so to speak. Now men MUST vet with red pill knowledge and even that is not foolproof. Very difficult situation out there now for men with western women.

    Liked by 2 people

    • thedeti says:

      Now men MUST vet with red pill knowledge and even that is not foolproof. Very difficult situation out there now for men with western women.

      Well, yeah. Even the best vetting doesn’t prevent a woman from deciding “eh, I’m done. I’m outta here.”

      Any woman can leave a marriage anytime she wants, for any reason she wants, and make a man pay for it.

      Liked by 2 people

      • Bardelys the Magnificent says:

        “Any woman can leave a marriage anytime she wants, for any reason she wants, and make a man pay for it.”

        I have an uncle whose bipolar wife was divorcing him. Kids are grown, but naturally she wanted the house. He’d be homeless if she succeeded. So he told her, point blank, that if she got the house she’d end up in a ditch somewhere and at least he’d get three hots and a cot out of it, which was a better deal than he’s getting now. She knew he would do it, too. He got to keep the house.

        Truth is, we men have not truly internalized the meaning of Proverbs 21:9. She wants to divorce and take everything? Call the cops and say you abused her? Cool. Might as well get your money’s worth. Are three hots and a cot not better than the current arrangement? What are you afraid of?
        No longer having the ability to go right back to the Beta factory and kill yourself working to please your wife? Stop it. I get that she has legal power behind her, but you can hedge against that my making her scared to death of using it, or letting her know that if she does, the cost will be exorbitant.

        And before anyone thinks I’m just blowing smoke, I had to leave my ex and sleep in a car for two weeks before I landed on my feet. Proverbs 21:9 is 100% true. So much better than staying and fighting on her terms everyday. Make her feel the pain of life without you. I can tell you with perfect certainty that you will come out better than she does. So throw your nuts on the table. If she doesn’t fall in line, leave. Make it painful for her to pull her stunts. Stop thinking she has all the power here, because she doesn’t. She needs you far more than you need her. Make her feel that, and she’ll submit, and if she doesn’t, you’ve just rid yourself of a lifelong headache.

        Like

    • thedeti says:

      If we want to fix this, you have to make it painful and difficult for people to leave marriages. Presently, it’s almost cost prohibitive for men to leave marriages. It’s so expensive as to require men to live in their cars until they get their financial footings back.

      But on the other hand, it’s extremely easy for women to leave marriages because society makes the ex husbands these women are leaving pay for it.

      I’d completely overhaul divorce law. Child custody defaults to father; alimony limited to 3 years regardless of parties’ financial positions and based only on need; and child support premised on what it actually costs to support this child based on his present lifestyle and not based on a percentage of the payor’s income.

      Liked by 3 people

      • Red Pill Apostle says:

        “Child custody defaults to father”

        This would solve the child support issue because the assumption would be that the dad can provide for his kids.

        Another option would be to uncouple the federal financial incentive to states for enforcing child support. States get paid for single moms not enrolling for federal welfare assistance.

        Like

      • Jack says:

        “Child custody defaults to father”

        In Taiwan, child custody defaults to the father, unless he is proved to be grossly unfit. Divorcing mothers will go to extravagant lengths to try to prove the father unfit in order to retain custody, but don’t usually succeed.

        Like

  3. Bardelys the Magnificent says:

    Stick with me here…

    We’re having a problem at work. Long story short, we’ve let some behaviors of very valuable employees get out of hand over the course of several years and we need to rein them in, or else continue to bleed profit. Senior management is currently scheming every solution under the sun short of looking these grown adults in the eye and telling them “you can’t do this anymore. It’s not personal, but we have to keep the lights on or else you don’t get paid.” Nobody is willing to do so, lest we have a mutiny on our hands. We’re trying to handle a behavioral problem with structural solutions. You can guess how well it’s going to work.

    The reason we have to have Game, and waste untold hours examining women, is because we gave them the freedom to choose whom they will marry, a choice they obviously cannot handle. The solution is so damn simple, yet no one will do it. So round and round we go, dancing to tunes and trying to repair broken women and getting little to nothing for our efforts. The Patriarchy will return when we get sick and damn tired of all the bullshit we have to go through. We need to start throwing these termagants over our shoulders and taking absolutely zero crap from them ever again. Women will submit, they always do.

    Liked by 2 people

    • feeriker says:

      “Long story short, we’ve let some behaviors of very valuable employees get out of hand over the course of several years…”

      I’m assuming from your description that these “very valuable employees” are women. While I have no idea what industry you work in, it’s difficult for me to imagine that any female employee can be truly indispensable, unless the business produces gyno-specific goods or services. Otherwise, female employees are almost without exception burdens, distractions, mediocrities, or some combination of all three. If we’ve learned nothing else over the last six decades, it’s that women break and cause breakage when they’re placed in environments that they weren’t designed for.

      In the case of what your workplace is dealing with, it sounds like a textbook example of the “time bomb effect” that the engineers of weaponized feminism designed into the movement. As we’re now seeing with all aspects of Marxist Leftism (of which feminism is a subset), this is a seed of deliberate destruction. Your bosses are hamstrung by current misandrically designed labor laws that are intented to destroy workplace efficiency and effectiveness (pre-feminism, the troublemaking parties would have been kicked to the curb if they didn’t get in line, no questions asked and no recourse).

      Like

      • Bardelys the Magnificent says:

        These are salespeople, not exclusively women. Type A personalities. They bring the money in the door, but lately it’s been at a loss. They refuse to take a cut to keep the company going, knowing they can land on their feet elsewhere. The point is that we’ll do anything to solve the problem except solve the problem. It’s playing out in business as well as at home. Neither will last. You can have the pain now or later. It’s always better to take it now.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Red Pill Apostle says:

        What you have described is a common situation where the leaders appear scared. We as husbands can behave the same with our wives, letting fear of her reaction dictate how we manage our households.

        Based on what you’ve written this morning, I hope your resume is up to date. There is a better than average chance the execs are too chicken to make the tough calls, which means the subordinates are in charge and that means bad outcomes. Like you mentioned, it happens in marriage and it happens in business. If I were in your shoes I’d be planning my exit while I still had some time to plan my options, otherwise your next steps might be dictated to you whether you like it or not.

        Liked by 1 person

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