Riding the Raging Rivulet

Eliminate debris to improve Flow.

Readership: Married Christians; Marriage-minded Men;
Theme: Wifely Submission
Length: 1,500 words
Reading Time: 8 minutes

The Raging Rivulet

In response to Rowena Breaks down Female Attraction (2022-8-31), RedPillBoomer wrote,

“Interesting!  One thing I wondered in reading this, and it is probably beyond the scope of this blog post…”

It is an important question for us to consider, so here’s a post dedicated to this topic.

“…how much of [female sexual attraction] was “wired” in by God in his design of males and females, and how much of it is a result of the fall?”

Judging by my own experience, and confirmed by Rowena’s account, women are “wired” to be incredibly horny creatures who are constantly craving to strip, shinny, shuck, and shiver, even when they don’t have sex on the brain.  This is self-evident in the following examples.

  1. Young girls are always trying to out-compete each other as to who can dress the most provocatively without being called out for it.
  2. Women expect sex within the first few dates, or else they’ll kick the man to the curb.
  3. Whenever a woman gets drunk, her prefrontal cortex shuts down leaving her deeper nature uninhibited. Then she’ll latch on to whichever guy in her vicinity most tickles her fancy pants, and escalate the physical intimacy to the randysack. (This fully explains the enduring popularity of alcohol for millenia.)
  4. Early in my marriage, I told my wife, “No clothes while we’re at home alone, and definitely never any clothes in bed.”  At first, she thought this “rule” was awkward and she felt a little ashamed.  But after a few months of gentle reinforcement, she was eagerly stripping down as soon as she came in the door, and chiding me for not doing the same within 10 minutes after her.

In fact, if you look at most of women’s behavior (as revealed by the RP), you’ll see that women’s lives and psychology totally revolve around their own sexual nature, (e.g. hypergamy, branch swinging, AF/BB, etc.)  Their secondary priority is how to pursue their Sexual Imperatives without incurring the worst short-term consequences (e.g. shame, social ostracization, STDs, an unwanted pregnancy, etc.).

We see young girls behaving this way even before they have a sexual awakening through being touched by a man, or by losing their virginity.  Sexual intercourse merely gives full expression to their inner nature.

The Raging Rivulet has Burst

I assume women were this way even before the Fall.  Some apocryphal texts even ascribe a sexual connotation to Eve’s deception.  (Readers may debate this in the comments.)  The larger point is that the Curse of the Fall added, “Your desire will be for your husband…”  (Genesis 3:16).  The ESV brings out a particular nuance in phrasing this as, “Your desire shall be contrary to your husband…”.  But there is no reason to assume that desire itself did not exist before the Fall.  The effect of sin is that desire is corrupted, perverted, and warped, such that the object of desire does not align with God’s original design.  In fact, this is exactly what a curse is (among other things) — The conscious experience of being under a curse refers to how a person’s wants, needs, desires, values, beliefs, aspirations, and moral conscience are all in constant, perpetual conflict with each other.

As CatacombResident wrote,

“…the complications are the wiring having to transmit through sinful nature.”

To me, this means that females lose the heart awareness that their sexual nature is an enjoyable channel of spiritual obedience, i.e. for “making love”, bonding with hubby, motivating him to love and provide for her, and producing children.  Instead, the sinful nature causes female desire to manifest as random randyness that is an idolatrous end in itself and therefore flows wherever the wind blows – always seeking titillation, never finding satisfaction – the manifest evidence of the curse.

Worse, because of “daddy issues”, a harsh legaligious upbringing, or a traumatic sexual experience, some women either shut down their sexual nature altogether, or else place it in the driver’s seat and run on autopilot, thereby giving it full mastery over destroying their lives.

Navigating the Raging Rivulet

In the comments under the last few posts in August (2022), there was a lot of talk about how Scott and Mychael, Sam and Elspeth, et al. have ideal marriages, and the reason is ultimately ascribed to the wife’s enduring Tinglebations leading to a steamy bedroom, the wife’s submission, and marital harmony.

There’s also been a lot said about how a man’s attractiveness is absolutely necessary to animate the raging rivulet, but this does not explain how average looking guys like Derek and Ed were able to churn out their broods of children.

I think it is because men/husbands don’t need to “DO” much to make this happen, simply because it is a woman’s nature to be this way.  So for those of us who are lacking action, it might be better for us to consider what is “blocking” the wife’s sexual expression and “wash out the gully” so to speak.

What we haven’t talked much about, which I think is just as important if not more so, is the husband’s role in revving up her Tingle-ometer.  We do not really know what Derek, Ed, Mike, Sam, Scott, et al. are doing in this respect, but I’ll share my own experience.

Case Study – Jack and Jill

My wife’s “obstacle” is a busy mind, anxiety, shame, and self-consciousness.  She can’t get sexually aroused when she is anxious and/or stuck in her head.  I need to make a concentrated effort to remove those things that are making her anxious, teach her to be aware of those things and how to draw boundaries whenever she notices that they begin to affect her.

Most of her anxieties were a result of her mother’s blame-and-shame games and this had been ingrained in her since childhood, so it wasn’t easy to change.

Once I figured this out, I started telling her, “Do you know, every time your mother calls you, you are an angry b!tch for the rest of the day?”

When I first pointed this out to her, she thought I was trying to start a fight by attacking and blaming her mother (a projection of their blame-and-shame game).  I had to prove to her that her mother was having a detrimental effect on her emotional life.  So I posed this experimental challenge to her.

“I want you to limit your talks with your mother to 10 minutes long, once a week on Saturday.  Then let’s compare how you feel during the week to how you feel on the weekend.”

She eagerly complied, partly because she was angry at her mother and wanted a mental justification to talk with her less, and partly because she wanted to prove me wrong.  After this exercise began, I also had to teach her how to close the discussion after 10 minutes, e.g. by making an urgent excuse.

It took a few months of this, but the breakthrough happened when her mother called her during the week and she answered and talked with her for more than an hour.  I was away at the time, but when I came home, I saw she was in one of her moods and I asked her, “Did you talk with your mother today?”  Then it all suddenly dawned on her.

After this epiphany, she eventually came to be aware of all the ways her mother’s judgmental words were affecting her mood.  As this realization progressed further, she began to see how sensitive her emotions are and how she is easily affected by little things.

Lately, she told me, “I don’t want to see my family that much anymore.  I just want to be at home with you all the time.  You are the only person who can make me feel secure.”

Verily, poon is always willing, wet, and waiting.

That is sanctification!

Now, some men might say, “That’s a lot of work just to get some poon out of a woman who already promised you poon.”  In response to this objection, I want to point out that this is about “washing the wife clean”, loving her, and building sanctification (Ephesians 5:25-28), and not so much about pumping poontang.

Σ Frame Maxim 34 (Jack): Women rely on Men’s Masculine Frame for Redemptive Introspection. 

However, rowing towards sanctification will dampen the poon in the long swim.

Conclusions

My comprehensive point here is that we as men are prone to put the pussy first, and use the pulsating action as a litmus indicator of the health and vitality of the relationship.  To an extent, this is true. But we cannot conclude that if the loony poon is not gushing 24/7/365 then the relationship is bad.  Then we blame ourselves for not being “good looking” enough to create sufficient sexual attraction, and we degenerate into a Mopey Dopey, thinking, “The V must be venerated!”

This is all backwards and devoid of any spiritual awareness or a sense of purpose.  Instead, poon at noon and very soon is more correctly inferred to be a fruit of sanctification.  If we patiently work towards spiritual obedience and sanctification, then all our other needs will be satisfied in due time.

Related

About Jack

Jack is a world traveling artist, skilled in trading ideas and information, none of which are considered too holy, too nerdy, nor too profane to hijack and twist into useful fashion. Sigma Frame Mindsets and methods for building and maintaining a masculine Frame
This entry was posted in Agency, Attraction, Boundaries, Communications, Conflict Management, Courtship and Marriage, Denying/Witholding Sex, Desire, Desire, Passion, Determination, Discerning Lies and Deception, Discernment, Wisdom, Discipline, Discipline and Molding, Female Evo-Psych, Fundamental Frame, Game, Game Theory, Headship and Patriarchy, Holding Frame, Identity, Inner Game, Intersexual Dynamics, Introspection, Leadership, Love, Male Power, Maturity, Personal Growth and Development, Models of Success, Moral Agency, Perseverance, Personal Domain, Persuasion, Purpose, Questions from Readers, Relationships, Sanctification & Defilement, Sex, Solipsism, Sphere of Influence, Strategy, Teaching, The Power of God. Bookmark the permalink.

16 Responses to Riding the Raging Rivulet

  1. redpillboomer says:

    “To me, this means that females lose the heart awareness that their sexual nature is an enjoyable channel of spiritual obedience, i.e. for “making love”, bonding with hubby, motivating him to love and provide for her, and producing children. Instead, the sinful nature causes female desire to manifest as random randyness that is an idolatrous end in itself and therefore flows wherever the wind blows – always seeking titillation, never finding satisfaction – the manifest evidence of the curse.”

    This seems to sum up increasingly the modern woman’s dilemma. The “Instead” gets substituted for the “heart awareness” above, and many modern women spend their youth questing for the “heart awareness” stuff through the “instead” instead. Then they end up older, post-wall trying to “square the circle” through their seemingly endless hamsterbating on social media about it. It really is a form of infotainment watching them tie themselves up in knots trying to explain it all, or just defaulting into “shaming and blaming” men for it. It’s funny in a way and yet very sad as well.

    Male content creators seemingly have an endless supply of female rationalization in the form of social media posts to deconstruct. RP content creators use reason and logic to pick apart the hamsterbating and “PROVE” the foolishness of trying to find the “heart awareness” stuff through the “Instead” stuff; and yet, except for a female content creator outlier here or there, they make little headway with the ladies “getting it” (just listen to Tom Leykis or Kevin Samuels trying to get through to them during call-in hour on their shows).

    Things seem to go from bad to worse all the time in male-female relationships. It really is a sad situation for our society. Not sure if there is any solution to all of this. Some say a (hypothetical) collapse of civilization here in the West, but not sure if even that would make any real difference. Have we crossed the Rubicon and there is no going back to the “heart awareness” path (the traditional dating/courtship model)? Maybe so. Probably so. Sad.

    And this is just talking about where our modern females are at; we could look at the males too. There’s a lot to talk about there in terms of the state of masculinity in our culture. It’s a sh!t show too. I know, I’ve done men’s work for the last few years now, and can vouch for things aren’t so great on our side of the aisle as well.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. thedeti says:

    this does not explain how average looking guys like Derek and Ed were able to churn out their broods of children.

    Ed Hurst is not an average looking guy. Don’t know about Derek.

    Like

    • ramman3000 says:

      “Don’t know about Derek.”

      LOL. Do above average guys get…

      “How did you convince her to marry YOU?”

      …or…

      “You’re lucky to have her”

      …and other such comments implying that she was out of my league.

      I’m 5’6″ and I was under 120 pounds when we married. I’m basically the epitome of the undersized male. Not ugly, but not attractive either. But those girls who only date 6′ guys? Completely out of my league.

      But it doesn’t end there! I’m a computer nerd/geek, the brand of male that is permanently in a woman’s friend zone. Though we make good and loyal husbands, few women even notice us, let alone want us as mates.

      And just to prove it is no fluke, when I moved to my current house, my neighbor saw me and told his wife “He’s a programmer”. Later when we met at a pool party at their house, she asked me what I did for a living. The rest is history. I look like a programmer.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Ed Hurst says:

      Thanks, deti. Not sure if that would be a common perception, but to answer a question in the post above, my wife is “ever ready” and has been since the start.

      Like

  3. ramman3000 says:

    Jack said: “What we haven’t talked much about, which I think is just as important if not more so, is the husband’s role in revving up her Tingle-ometer. We do not really know what Derek, Ed, Mike, Sam, Scott, et al. are doing in this respect, but I’ll share my own experience.”

    There is a very high likelihood that I will never discuss this specifically. It’s one of the things we both agreed on years ago and I won’t violate that trust.

    Jack said: “My wife’s “obstacle” is a busy mind, anxiety, shame, and self-consciousness.”

    This is compatible with what I said nearly two months ago.

    I said: “Attraction doesn’t have to be a burning passion. It just needs to be something that supports having sex here and there, perhaps reserved mostly for special occasions when the mood is right.”

    If you recall, this got a lot of hostile reactions. But it’s more-or-less the same thing. My point was that attraction and desire are not necessarily strictly tied together. A woman may be strongly attracted to man, but not be in the mood. This is what Jack describes. Altering states—making the moment right—requires some effort.

    Liked by 2 people

    • catacombresident says:

      I’ll support that, Derek. And more broadly, and it’s really up to the man to decide if his woman is worth some measure of struggle to sanctify. There is no ideal when it comes to this issue; there is only what works for you and brings you peace with God.

      Liked by 1 person

      • info says:

        Sometimes a history of sexual trauma would need to be dealt with. Especially the necessary therapy that cures her hyper or hyposexuality.

        As Jack noted.

        Like

  4. ramman3000 says:

    “this does not explain how average looking guys like Derek and Ed were able to churn out their broods of children”

    Well, we have two biological children and three adopted children, so we are not “churning out broods” in the traditional sense. The answer to the question is that she was deeply family-oriented from the start and dragged me—ever resisting—into starting a family. You can read our family’s story in The Philadelphia Inquirer, as well as decide for yourself if I am (or was) of average attractiveness.

    Liked by 1 person

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