The more things change, the more they stay the same.

An overview of how the SMP has changed within the last 30 years.

Readership: All
Theme: Dating and the SMP
Author’s Note: This post is based on several of my previous comments. Links to the original comments are contained in the first words of the relevant headers or paragraphs below.
Reader’s Note: This excellent summary of Dating and the SMP rounds out this month’s theme.
Length: 1,500 words
Reading Time: 5 minutes

Introduction

I have been around a while. I remember The Time Before The Internet, when men had to approach in person and women had to reject, clearly and forcefully. I remember when ghosting was less abrupt. We called it the Slow Fade back then. Men and women were still having premarital sex, from one night stands to long term relationship sex, but it moved a wee bit more slowly. I was in college at the very beginnings of hookup culture. It’s changed, but only in that it moves faster now and finds its expression in the OASIS.

Changes to Intersexual Dynamics

These changes are as follows.

  1. What used to be
    Meet ––> Date  ––> Exclusive ––> Engaged ––> Sex
    is now almost totally reversed.
    Sex ––> Friends ––> FWB/F-Buddy ––> Date ––> Maybe Exclusive ––> Break Up ––> Move on to the next person… ––> sex ––> Friends ––> FWB/F-Buddy…
    and Lather Rinse Repeat.
  2. Ghosting has become more commonplace. Ghosting is now an “accepted” way to end a relationship. I’m wondering when it will become acceptable to end marriages by ghosting.
  3. Men waiting for sex? No way. Men with options aren’t playing that game.
  4. Women committing without some funsex with Chad? No way. Women with options (which is almost all women) are going to have their funsex experience with Chad, and nothing will stop them. First, it’s fun, feels good, and is validating. Second, it’s a long shot at commitment from Chad – probably won’t work… but hey, you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take, right? AF fun first for as long as she can; then marriage at 38 – hopefully to Chad the Senior Partner, if not, then to a beta bux who will pay the bills.
  5. It is commonplace now for women to be the dominant partner in a male-female relationship.
  6. “Alternative” relationship styles: Polysexuality, Polyamory, Polyandry… The common gist is multiple men (a beta or two, an alpha or two) sharing one woman, usually in succession, but sometimes in tandem. This is a woman’s wet dream – having commitment from multiple men serving different functions and varying levels of commitment and exclusivity as needs and desires dictate.

As time passes, what was once considered perversion on the margin of society has slowly become more and more socially acceptable.

The Overton Window has moved quite a bit.

Changes to Social Dynamics

For the top 20% of men and top 50% of women, it’s business as usual, as it has been for decades and has come into public knowledge only about 30 years ago when hookup culture went totally mainstream. The top 20% of men are still having lots of casual sex, and the top 60% of women are still riding the carousel with varying durations and frequency. Top 20% men are still in the catbird power position. Top 50% women are still getting pumped and dumped, and seethingly resentful when Chad, Brad, and Thad won’t commit, and then after several years she ends up having to settle for Tom Teacher, or Will WorshipLeader, or Paul Plumber, or Ernie Engineer, or Stan STEMlord, or Johnny Latebloomer.

What doesn’t get talked about much are the total breakdowns of social mores and social etiquette; and poor socialization among men and women both.

Whiteguy1 wrote,

“I can get away with being a man (up to a point of course) at my publicly traded firm all day, even with all the PC/feminist bullshit that we should be following. For exactly the reason you state. All the women love having a MAN around, even the old lesbian because I’m attractive to the girls there. 90% of the men there are all ‘deltas’ (with a couple of gammas/omegas tossed in) so not allowed to be men, just ‘males’. Sad really.

Now it’s not all roses and unicorn farts for me, when we were in the office I got shit tested, multiple times a day, which honestly is a pain in the ass and makes it hard to get real work done when there. Oh well.”

This is becoming more common.

She can be as sexy as she pleases, but men are not permitted to acknowledge it in any way, shape, or form!

Whether a particular man is permitted to act in a sexual manner is wholly dependent on how sexually attractive he is. Sexually attractive men are allowed to act in a sexual manner and ask women out. Sexually unattractive men are not allowed to behave in any sexual manner at all. They are not to comport themselves as “sexual” beings. Sexually unattractive men are not permitted to act as men – they may act only as “males”.

Consequently, young men are suffering immensely, as Jack wrote about The Young Man’s Problem (2022-2-4).

Because of the risks involved in being male, the lower 80% men, and especially the bottom half, are now willingly paying to give away their unwanted attention, which women now want. Women want it because the exchange has been taken from public to private, as NovaSeeker pointed out in his post, Exploiting Online Attention (2020-12-9). They also want this kind of attention because it is convenient, discreet, easily controllable, and of course, it brings them easy $$$.

The bottom 40% of women struggle now too. Men used to “pay” to give away their attention with in-person dates: drinks, meals, entertainment, and commitment. Now, the bottom 80% men increasingly spend much of their female attention dollar online – online dating apps, sugar dating apps, OnlyFans, camgirls, and the like. Bottom 40% women are working to crack into those markets. The pickings have always been slim for these girls, and it’s only gotten worse because their male counterparts were shut out of the game long before they were.

And it has all been taken private. What used to take place in public now takes place totally and completely out of the public eye. Men can gawk at photos and video of amateur pornstars, camgirls and OF girls in the privacy of their rooms. Women can prostitute themselves more openly and more privately at the same time. What used to be legitimate “charging” for dates (“Take me out for dinner and you pay”, “Take me for a night out on your dime”, “Take me out to the museum and you pay”, “Let’s do a weekend away and you pay”), is now shady “charging” for dates and sex (subscriptions to premium porn sites, camgirl sites and OF; sugar dating/prostitution lite).

Moreover, prostitution has changed from “my sex for your commitment” to “depictions/facsimiles of my sex for your cash”. Digitalized, monetized, “sanitized”, pornstitution, which is another manifestation of postporniscuity — the substitution of sexual fantasy for reality, resulting in the postponement of marriage.

The Modern Sexual Implosion

All of these changes have had a catastrophic effect on the overall quality of men and women in western societies.

Men aren’t improving their looks or their bodies. Neckbeards and lumpenproles and skinnyfat dudes abound. More and more men have no Game. More and more men don’t know how to carry on a real live conversation using their voices, faces, hands, and bodies. More and more men can’t go up to a girl and talk to her.

It’s been criticized that men won’t even try. Well, what should they try for? They have tried, and they get shot down, blown out of the water, and nuclear rejected everywhere they go. In the worst case, they are charged with harassment and/or fired. What incentives are there for them to try?

And women! These women… today’s modern women – these are the women they should be trying to date? Arrogant, b!tchy, bossy, contemptuous, entitled, fat, foul mouthed, hair chopped off, mouthy, rude, s!utty, promiscuous, ill mannered, incompetent at the domestic arts, unable or unwilling to do even rudimentary self-care and housekeeping, economically and historically illiterate, unable to cook or clean – this is what men are supposed to be putting forth all this effort for? Really? Are you serious?

These women honestly and truly believe that because Chad had sex with them once, they’re entitled to commitment from Brad or Thad, and absolutely nothing less will do.

Women are like this because everyone in society has let them get away with it. Everyone just smirks or laughs or shakes their heads and then looks away. And they are still getting what they want, mostly – oodles of male attention that men pay for, free money everywhere, “jobs” they don’t really have to “work” at, free passes because pu$$y, and pretty much skating through life on goddess mode.

Conclusions

Things have changed only in the rapidity of the rate of change and how intersexual dynamics finds its expression. The restrictions on male sexual expression have tightened considerably. There’s not much that can be done about this, as things march inexorably toward a sexual marketplace singularity of unknown dimension and character.

Online attention is just the next step in societal devolution.

This entry was posted in Attitude, Choosing a Partner or Spouse, Courtship and Marriage, Discerning Lies and Deception, Discernment, Wisdom, Fantasy and Illusion, Female Power, Feminism, Handling Rejection, Holding Frame, Hypergamy, Internet Dating Sites, Models of Failure, Organization and Structure, Polysexuality, Relationships, Secrecy, SMV/MMV, Vetting Women, Zeitgeist Reports. Bookmark the permalink.

36 Responses to The more things change, the more they stay the same.

  1. cameron232 says:

    “Second, it’s a long shot at commitment from Chad – probably won’t work… but hey, you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take, right?”

    And there’s no price they have to pay because 0% of men can reasonably expect a virgin wife.

    “For the top 20% of men and top 50% of women, it’s business as usual, as it has been for decades..”

    And the bottom 50% of women, even young women, are REALLY low quality. Overweight, pierced, tatted, weird hair colors, unfeminine personality. Not worth it. MGTOW if you have to settle for the bottom 50%.

    Like

    • Red Pill Apostle says:

      “And the bottom 50% of women, even young women, are REALLY low quality. Overweight, pierced, tatted, weird hair colors, unfeminine personality. Not worth it. MGTOW if you have to settle for the bottom 50%.”

      I have recently had conversations with Mrs. Apostle on topics surrounding this, because time goes really fast and we have sons. Some of the stats on increasing promiscuity trends Dalrock wrote about have been helpful, and little by little she’s beginning to see the meatgrinder they are heading into. They will have some advantages due to appearance, academics and talents, but it’s still going to be a daunting marketplace to navigate.

      Liked by 1 person

      • cameron232 says:

        RPA, the fact that you have sons — it may help Mrs. Apostle to get all this. It might help her to see things from men’s perspective. I think women with sons, and especially ONLY sons, are more likely to get it.

        Like

      • Oscar says:

        “I think women with sons, and especially ONLY sons, are more likely to get it.”

        Even if that’s true, and it’s a big if, they’re much too late to do any good (how would they make a difference, anyway?), and they won’t apply those lessons to their husbands. Imagine a husband asking his wife, “How would you feel about a daughter-in-law who treats our son with the disrespect, and rebelliousness you treat me?” How do you think that would go?

        Liked by 1 person

      • cameron232 says:

        Looking for anything positive Oscar. Purely anecdotal, but I’ve found more women who empathize with men among mothers of boys only.

        Like

      • Red Pill Apostle says:

        Oscar,

        “Even if that’s true, and it’s a big if, they’re much too late to do any good (how would they make a difference, anyway?), and they won’t apply those lessons to their husbands.”

        Mrs. Apostle has had a quick trigger when it comes to righteous indignation, even if the righteous part was missing when it came to me, combined with an acute sense of “momma bear” when it comes to our boys. She’s also purposefully used about every tactic outlined in the Duluth Model. I am honing these aspects of my wife so that she is on the same page with me in teaching our sons about women.

        My hope is that my boys will be light years ahead of where I was regarding women, when they are of marriage age. While this next statement does not absolve Mrs. Apostle of her behavior, it is true to a large extent. Had I not been a blue pilled dweeb, I probably could have nipped my wife’s behavior early on and have had a much better marriage for it. I say this because even after 17 years of poor performance, it has taken less than 2 years to radically change her. She’s gone from telling me, “You know, the courts usually give custody to the mother” (she told me this during an argument), to asking me if there was a better way she could have stated her opinions to not be disrespectful. For all the issues that I have had with Mrs. A’s lust for control over the years, once I changed she began to fall in line, and that is most likely due to shared faith and the fact that she was a debt free virgin without tattoos when we married in our 20’s. (Had she not graduated a semester early, we’d have married before she graduated.)

        There is hope, as small as it is, if a man starts young enough on molding a wife into the helpmeet he needs. This probably means looking at younger women so he has a chance at influencing her behavior before cultural feminism makes her a worse risk and she has slept with multiple men.

        Liked by 2 people

      • Oscar says:

        @ RPA

        Agreed, but notice how your experience validates my point.

        First, note that it’s you, not Mrs. RPA, working to prepare your boys “be light years ahead of where I was regarding women, when they are of marriage age”. You might say that’s your job, not hers. To which I’d reply that a mother wrote Proverbs 31 to her son.

        Second, you didn’t say that Mrs. RPA came to you and said anything like, “I thought about our boys dealing with a wife that treats me the way I’ve treated you, and I was appalled. Please forgive me. I’ll be a better example to our boys from now on.” Did she?

        Boys tend to take after their father and marry a woman like their mother. Therefore, a disrespectful, rebellious, contentious mother prepares her boys to marry disrespectful, rebellious, contentious women.

        Cameron says that he “found more women who empathize with men among mothers of boys only”.

        Really? What – precisely – are they doing about it? Don’t tell me about their FEEEEWINGS. That’s meaningless. Tell me about their behavior.

        Are they going to their sons and telling them, “I’ve been a terrible example to you of how a wife should treat her husband. I’ve been disrespectful, rebellious, and contentious to your father. Please forgive me. I will be a better example in the future.” And then following through?

        No? Then, please spare me their fake “empathy”.

        Liked by 1 person

      • cameron232 says:

        They become anti-feminists like a number of women we know, both on line and in real life. Again, anecdotal. I don’t claim that all women who have all sons or mostly sons are radical traditionalists. And it’s not really an actionable item anyway, since you can’t (or rather Christians can’t) choose the sex of your children. Just a casual, anecdotal observation.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Red Pill Apostle says:

        Oscar,

        “First, note that it’s you, not Mrs. RPA, working to prepare your boys “be light years ahead of where I was regarding women, when they are of marriage age”. You might say that’s your job, not hers. To which I’d reply that a mother wrote Proverbs 31 to her son.

        Second, you didn’t say that Mrs. RPA came to you and said anything like, “I thought about our boys dealing with a wife that treats me the way I’ve treated you, and I was appalled. Please forgive me. I’ll be a better example to our boys from now on.” Did she?

        Boys tend to take after their father and marry a woman like their mother. Therefore, a disrespectful, rebellious, contentious mother prepares her boys to marry disrespectful, rebellious, contentious women.”

        I don’t disagree with you. My previous comment was to point out that there is hope for the next generation, even in western culture, if the man is the principle driver of change in his own life. Obviously there are no guarantees, but as long as her imperfections are not so prevalent and deep that there is no solid core to create a sculpture out of, then there is potential.

        Mrs. A has not specifically said anything along the lines of what you wrote regarding our son’s future wives should they choose to marry. Part of it is her not being aware of the situation. She’s a woman and she was raised in a very blue pill household, just as I was, so it is up to me to lay out the issues and tell her what I want her to do about it. I accept that my specifics for her regarding me applying the “washing her in the word” of Ephesians 5 is making her aware of the issues of raising sons who retain their God given masculinity in a feminine centric society.

        To her credit, she is working hard on attitude and obedience. Arguing is now rare and the more common scene the boys see is me and Mrs. A discussing a topic and her going along with my decision, even if she doesn’t agree. More recently she has begun to work on reigning in her facial expressions (she has no poker face at all), and the tone she uses if she is miffed at something. If you ask either of my sons who makes the final decisions they both will tell you “daddy” because she reinforces that I am the head of the household both in word and action (for the most part).

        My hope is that, between the lessons that I give them and the improving behavior of Mrs. A, that any woman they come across who is the strong modern independent type won’t meet their expectations. They are still young, early grade school age, so there are years of these lessons to soak up and interactions to watch before they will be faced with making decisions on their own.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Oscar says:

        “Mrs. A has not specifically said anything along the lines of what you wrote regarding our son’s future wives should they choose to marry.”

        Yeah. So, like I said….

        Readers may be wondering, why does it matter whether or not the mother repents before her children? It matters.

        Matthew 5:23-24
        Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24 leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.

        Repentance is important enough that you should “leave your gift there before the altar”, and “be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift”.

        And, by the way, that goes for dads, too. A father who made children with the kind of woman we complain about frequently needs to repent before his children for choosing that woman to be their mother.

        Like

      • Elspeth says:

        @ Oscar,

        I’ve been with you for the most part because my experience with mothers of many sons has not translated into an automatic sympathy for men. Even though the Lord did not see fit to give me sons, I have come to conclude that my nearly lifelong empathy for men has been mostly a result of knowing and seeing what my father endured raising his children mostly alone (or at least alone for a significant stretch of time after the death of my mother).

        However, I have to disagree with you on this note:

        “And, by the way, that goes for dads, too. A father who made children with the kind of woman we complain about frequently needs to repent before his children for choosing that woman to be their mother.”

        I don’t believe it is even remotely appropriate for a man to repent to his children for choosing his current, lawful, cohabiting wife as their mother. Unless there is an extreme set of circumstances to warrant such a thing, this should never be done prior to the children reaching an age where they can well understand what their father is saying and why. As in, they are adults who can properly process what they have lived and still retain the ability to obey God’s command in honoring their mother.

        Like

      • Red Pill Apostle says:

        Oscar,

        “Mrs. A has not specifically said anything along the lines of what you wrote regarding our son’s future wives should they choose to marry.”

        Yeah. So, like I said….

        Readers may be wondering, why does it matter whether or not the mother repents before her children? It matters.”

        The kids were ages 5 and 7 when I started us down the red pilled road, and are now 7 and 9. They would not necessarily understand what the apology was for, if she were to apologize. What they do grasp quite well is that daddy is in charge, and mommy follows daddy’s lead which tells me that her repentant behavior is being noticed by them. So until they are at an age and level of understanding where we can lay out the details and not confuse the snot out of them, Mrs. A being respectful and obedient are enough.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Oscar says:

        “…this should never be done prior to the children reaching an age where they can well understand what their father is saying and why.”

        I can agree with that…

        “As in, they are adults who can properly process what they have lived and still retain the ability to obey God’s command in honoring their mother.”

        … but, I don’t think they have to reach adulthood. In fact, it’s probably better done before adulthood.

        People tend to follow the ruts their parents laid out for them. Very few people actually think about what they’re doing and why. They mostly operate on autopilot, and that autopilot is mostly set by the time they become adults. That’s how most people end up in crappy marriages in the first place.

        For example, it’s true that sometimes you meet a person who refuses to drink because his/her parent was a drunk, but that’s rare. It’s far more common for a kid who grew up with a drunk for a parent to become a drunk him/herself, because they’re cruising through life on autopilot.

        A parent who says to his/her child, “I’m sorry that I chose a drunk. Please forgive me, and please do better”, helps his/her child break out of that autopilot mode. Does that make it more difficult for the child to respect his/her drunk parent? Sure. But, whose fault is that?

        I don’t know why most people forget this as adults, but kids notice a lot more than adults give them credit for. We all did as kids. Think about all the things you knew about as a kid that your parents didn’t think you knew. But then, when we become adults ourselves, it’s like we forget, and we think our kids don’t notice.

        Guess what? A kid who grew up with a mother who berates, nags, and humiliates his/her father notices. They already know. Treat them with some respect, and be honest with them about it.

        At what age? Depends on the kid. Some kids are smarter, more observant, and mature more quickly than others.

        I’ve never met a kid who could have that conversation under 10 years old, but if you wait until they’re adults, it’s probably too late to do any good. At that point, the autopilot is set, and they’re probably just going to do what their parents did, and end up in a crappy marriage just like their parents did. That’s the kind of conversation a parent needs to have with his/her child in their teenage years, typically.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Elspeth says:

        @ Oscar,

        I can agree that teenaged years are a probably a good age to set some things aright and contrast what they should do and expect from what they actually lived and witnessed.

        Like

    • Red Pill Apostle says:

      Oscar,

      We, both me and Mrs. A, already give age appropriate lessons. For example, if there is a sassy demanding female character on a TV show, the boys already know that girls like that are not the type that men want. The little lessons are sinking in bit by bit.

      When they get to dating age, around 15-16, we’ll talk with them about Mrs. A’s issues of not following the Bible’s commands for wives and my issues of not forcefully enough correcting that behavior early on. We’ll also go through warning signs and what characteristics to actually value so if a girl comes along that isn’t steeped in feminism they can identify her as someone that might be worth getting to know better.

      Liked by 2 people

  2. redpillboomer says:

    As much as I’ve heard (or read, as in the case of this blog post) Red Pill descriptions, interpretations, and assessments of current relationship dynamics in society, I still have to admit I can get stopped in my tracks with amazement when I deal with it in real life. Maybe that is a function of my age and life experience, but I do remember the pre-Internet era of dating/relating/mating Deti referred to above. and a little part of me still goes into a ‘mild state of shock’ when I see what we talk about on here happening out in real life.

    Just this past weekend, it happened again. A 35-year old, married Christian man I’ve had the opportunity to mentor a bit, called me to tell me that he and his wife weren’t doing well and that he was shaken up about it. So, old school me listens expecting to hear that it’s something about finances or the busy schedules they have working full-time and raising middle and elementary school aged children. You know, what used to be the TYPICAL things that caused marital strife. After listening a bit to him, I realized my “older Christian man counselor” hat had to come off and I had to put on my Red Pill hat.

    Here’s the deal in short order. They’ve been married for eleven years. He’s an Air Force officer and she’s an emergency room nurse. One thing they are both into is doing Cross-Fit together, so both are in great shape. Wifey, for a 35 year old, still has her figure: weight to hip ratio is good, butt curvy and tight, and her pretty face could pass for late twenties or early thirties maybe. You’re probably beginning to get out ahead of me, but guess who took notice? Chad of course. In this case, Chad is a 26 year old Cross-Fit instructor/coach, and I guess he doesn’t mind adding his client’s MILFY wife to his rotation of Stacy’s and Amber’s.

    Hubby is upset that even though nothing physical has happened — YET, wifey wants her ‘space’ as she sits on messenger, sending texts back and forth throughout the day, exchanging flirtatious messages with Chad. Hubby is agitated and trying to get a deeper look at what is going on. Not hard for Hubby because she is NOT secretive about it. She sits on the couch doing it right in front of him! Hubby is having all sorts of things go through his mind about where this might be going and he’s trying to cock block it but with little success. This weekend they were out with the kids doing some family thing and he told me she was taking breaks, moving away from the family, to send texts back and forth with Chad. Hubby says he saw some of the texts and Chad wants to exchange pictures. I wonder what type of pictures? Just kidding. If Chad wanted pictures, she’s got a whole bunch of her FB page, but I don’t think those pics will satisfy Chad.

    Okay, you got the picture. What I talked about up above is not really what I want to focus on because it is just standard fare these days. However, in talking to the hubby, he let me know some of their past AS A COUPLE, and this is what caused me to figuratively toss my counselor hat aside and don my Red Pill hat.

    I knew wifey had a past. I don’t have to go over it in detail, but you’ll get the point: Blonde Cheerleader at a major university with a big time football program. Do I need to say anymore? But what I learned that was new to me, and that hubby confided to me this weekend, is that both of them had cheated on one another during their marriage (remember, a Christian marriage). Hubby in 2011, in their first year of marriage, and wifey in 2015 and 2018.

    So, I worked with him a bit with some subtle RP language, just a little bit because he’s still blue pill. I planted a Red Pill seed with him, just a bit of a different context to view the situation with. Not sure if it took or not. My experience with blue pill men is that they can only handle ‘eye dropper’ doses of what we talk about on here because they are semi-clueless about fallen female nature.

    Setting aside his cheating episode for a moment, even though it still needs to be dealt with and is a factor in their marriage; his wife, even though she is/was a growing Christian woman (at least she was when they lived near us, now they are a State away because of the Air Force) fits the classic CC rider profile. I imagine ‘Alpha Widowed’ in college, remember Cheerleader surrounded by football and basketball players, Chad’s and Tyrone’s every last one of them. Now she’s post-wall, and Chad should be a thing of the past because she’s older and married and Christian to boot, but it looks like Chad is not quite through with her yet, and is looking at shagging her one more time if he gets the chance, and hubby be damned.

    This is the stuff that still throws me a little bit when I deal with it in real-time, in real life. I’ve read about all this stuff, “KNOW IT” and yet, it still amazes me just a little bit when I see it happening before my eyes. I guess that’s why we need to keep talking about this stuff, with an eye toward figuring out how to protect ourselves and help any men we can, especially Christian men.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Oscar says:

      Sounds like that marriage is pretty much dead, and both spouses are at fault. Seeking help at this point is kind of like going to the doctor after you’ve gained 600 lb, you have heart disease, your kidneys are failing, and your feet are turning black from diabetes.

      Could the doctor save you, at that point? Maybe. But it’s unlikely.

      Like

    • anonymous_ng says:

      @RPB, I think that we all tend to surround ourselves with like minded people, so that even though we know the statistics about a thing, it’s shocking when we come face to face with that thing in our social circle.

      Like

      • redpillboomer says:

        So true. As long as it is happening ‘out there,’ you’re right! It’s just another example of our deteriorating culture at work. However, when it gets inside our own social circle, it’s a whole other matter altogether. The sh!t gets real, and real fast. This is a couple I’ve known for a couple of years, and got a chance to watch them grow in Christ… then this happens. I’m praying that this goes no where, i.e. that Chad gets thwarted, gets his eyes off wifey and back on Stacy and Amber where they belong. Wifey and hubby can then get to work on what’s caused this stuff to happen in their marriage in the past, and begin to get past all this Chad and Tyrone/Stacy and Amber foolishness, and get back to growing again in their faith. But who knows? It will be interesting, to say the least, in seeing how this all turns out.

        Like

    • locustsplease says:

      Boomer,
      The answer is simple to me. This guy could bang other women but refuses. He told her to stop, and she didn’t. Sounds like Stacey is the one he’s married to.

      Here’s what he should do. Show up at the other guy’s workplace when he knows he’s there, punch him right in the face and say, “Don’t talk to my wife again!”, and he should never tell his wife about it. The guy will be too ashamed and embarrassed to fight back or defend himself. I don’t care how big the guy is, he won’t want to explain it to coworkers.

      Body builders are pussies. I was a bouncer for years. These guys scare wimps. They have so much muscle and walk around posing. They are almost neutral observers in fights. I saw a 6′, 6 pack abs, body builder get knocked out by a 5’9″, 160 lb. never lifted anything punk. It was hysterical.

      This guy does not have self-esteem to be flirting with, or f__ing your buddy’s wife. And no, the police won’t do anything. Just plead the 5th. They won’t waste their time. But he shouldn’t tell his wife anything. Let her find out through the grape vine.

      Like

      • Oscar says:

        “Here’s what he should do. Show up at the other guy’s workplace when he knows he’s there, punch him right in the face and say, “Don’t talk to my wife again!”

        That sounds like a terrible idea. Great for a movie scene (see Fireproof), not so good for real life.

        A woman who’ll give you a reason to fight over her isn’t worth fighting over. He’s committed adultery once. She’s committed adultery twice, and is apparently going to do it again, if she hasn’t already. He appears to be repentant. She obviously is not. You’re not “alpha” enough to turn an unrepentant adulteress into a good woman, and neither is anyone else.

        There real tragedy here is that they have children.

        On a less tragic note, they’ve been married long enough that she gets half his pension when/if he retires from the Air Force.

        Like

    • Oscar says:

      Here’s deti’s advice from a previous post, What can a husband do in response to a rebellious wife? (2022-1-31).

      “No close personal friendships with other men. No talking, no social media, no texting, no DMs, no “we’re just friends”, no getting lunch together, no “work spouses”. A married woman does not act like that. A married woman does not get overly familiar with men she isn’t married to. A married woman does not maintain close personal friendships with ANY men other than her husband, regardless of her intentions, the men’s intentions, or the nature of their acquaintance (personal, church, professional, etc.).

      No posting lots of selfies on social media and especially no posting selfies in sexy or suggestive clothing. Lots of selfies on Farcebook or IG or other social media sends the following message: “Check me out. Aren’t I hot? Wouldn’t you like to have sex with me? If I think you’re attractive, I might, despite being married. Even if I wouldn’t have sex with any of you, I really really love the attention I get from this.” A married woman does not act like that. A married woman does not let anyone see the goods even if she has no intention of letting anyone sample the goods. A married woman does not let anyone even think that they might have a chance to see the goods.

      She doesn’t like that? There’s the door.”

      Obviously, that conversation should have happened before marriage, and at this point she’ll most likely choose the door, but the conversation needs to happen.

      Like

      • feeriker says:

        I get the distinct feeling that most self-described “Christian” women, especially in the western Anglosphere, would shriek in enraged horror at deti’s words above. Given what this reveals (and it certainly shouldn’t come as any surprise at all to the regulars hereabouts), that’s to be expected.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Oscar says:

        “I get the distinct feeling that most self-described “Christian” women, especially in the western Anglosphere, would shriek in enraged horror at deti’s words above.”

        That’s why the conversation needs to happen before marriage. It scares away the bad ones. Many a man would’ve dodged a bullet if he’d looked his woman in the eye and had this conversation with her before marriage.

        But, if that conversation didn’t happen before marriage, it still needs to happen during marriage. She may choose to leave, but if she does, he’s better off without her. He won’t have dodged a bullet, it’ll wound him, but he’ll recover.

        Before marriage is best, but during marriage, earlier is better. Waiting longer results in deeper wounds, and less time to recover from them.

        Liked by 2 people

  3. Devon70 says:

    Young men that aren’t getting dates are becoming NEETS which is someone that isn’t in education, employment, or training. They play video games most all day, and older guys think they are miserable, but many are quite happy. Below is a video by one of the most popular video game streamers named Asmongold who describes an average day. Millions of guys are like this and that will keep growing.

    Like

    • caterpillar345 says:

      I can’t tell if this is satire or not… I clicked on another video where a Reddit commenter made a post with some feelings of envy for his “simple” life. Asmongold said, “I live the lifestyle of a fiend and a degenerate. Nobody should watch my stream and say I want to be like this animal.” Nevertheless, he has in excess of 1 million subs on YouTube, so I imagine he’s doing quite well.

      Like

  4. thedeti says:

    I’m done listening to women talk about any of this. Women need to start actually doing things to fix this mess they created.

    Women wanted it this way. Women wanted the society we have now. They created it by voting it in.

    Women: You wanted this. You created this. YOU fix it.

    Liked by 1 person

    • RICanuck says:

      I disagree, Deti.

      Women don’t know what they want and won’t be happy until they get it.

      They go with consensus, what their BFF’s want, what is fashionable, what is on TV or Cosmo.

      And they get mad as hell when contradicted.

      The things they ‘want’ won’t change until the older women correct them, but the older women are Boomers. Things won’t change from female consensus until the Zoomers are the older women. If then.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Oscar says:

        RICanuck,

        “Women don’t know what they want and won’t be happy when they get it.”

        Fixed it for ya.

        Liked by 2 people

      • redpillboomer says:

        Being a Boomer myself, I can tell you from interacting with the women of my generation, they’re either hard core ‘Trump women’ or they are hopelessly ‘Wine Woke Women.’ The WWW will twist themselves into any ‘knot’ they have to spiritually, politically, socially, you’uns-name-it-‘ally to maintain the progressive/SJW/Libtard line. You can’t move any of them now, well at least the ones with any higher education whatsoever, out of their camp. They’re solidified in their views and pretty much unchangeable.

        Like

    • Sharkly says:

      Actually the answer is simple. We just need to return to following God’s laws. When we publicly put all adulterers and adulteresses to death by community stoning, men and women will be far more likely to refrain from adultery, and likewise for fornication. The older Boomer women are worthless, and by the time the younger Zoomer whores grow old they’ll be even worse. Don’t put your faith in those young whores. LOL We as a society just need to come to the point where we repent of our wickedness and return to following God’s law faithfully and without exception. All else will always be ineffective half measures. And you already know this if you are not a fool. Our allowing this wickedness to continue in our society is not merciful or a virtue, as the end result is far more suffering and the vast majority of folks winding up in hell for eternity. If you really believe what God said in His word, you’ll realize that refusing to execute the sexually immoral, is just joining in with and condoning their wicked deeds. The manosphere can talk about coping strategies ad nauseam, but if you want the actual solution, it is to follow God’s laws for our universe:

      Deuteronomy 22:22
      If a man be found lying with a woman married to an husband, then they shall both of them die, [both] the man that lay with the woman, and the woman: so shalt thou put away evil from Israel. 23 If a damsel [that is] a virgin be betrothed unto an husband, and a man find her in the city, and lie with her; 24 Then ye shall bring them both out unto the gate of that city, and ye shall stone them with stones that they die; the damsel, because she cried not, [being] in the city; and the man, because he hath humbled his neighbour’s wife: so thou shalt put away evil from among you.

      Liked by 1 person

      • thedeti says:

        Yes, and see, God’s law includes:

        — Wives, submit to your husbands in all things.

        — Older women, teach the younger women to be submissive wives.

        — Younger women, be submissive wives and keep yourselves busy at home with husbands and kids.

        — If you have a question about what’s going on at church, keep silent and ask your husbands about it when you get home.

        “I suffer not a woman to teach.”

        — You’re not free to divorce or remarry if your husband is willing to live with you – even if your husband is an unbeliever, a lazy layabout, a jerk, poor, disabled, stupid, or not hawt.

        It also includes…

        — Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her.

        — Live with your wives in an understanding way.

        — Wash your wives in the water of the Word.

        — Be strong in the Lord.

        — Work!

        — Lead your wives and families.

        — Protect and provide, teach and train.

        — You’re not free to divorce or remarry if your wife is willing to live with you – even if your wife is an unbeliever, bad in bed, a b!tch, a nag, a terrible housekeeper, a bad mother, unkind, unfeminine, or has put on 30 pounds.

        I’m down with that. How bout you, ladies?

        Liked by 3 people

  5. feeriker says:

    “I’m down with that. How bout you, ladies?”

    Grillos (crickets).

    Like

    • thedeti says:

      Women won’t do this… because this means wives have to do what their husbands say. This means a wife has to do what her husband tells her to do. And they won’t do it.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Sharkly says:

        So, when given the choice to return to righteous living or to continue being defilers, you’re saying most women chose to continue be defilers? Who knew? Oh that’s right, Sharkly knew and has been calling women “defilers” ever since he found that the Bible explains that men are defiled by ALL women. (Revelation 14:4) The only undefiled men are virgins.

        Like

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