Thou Shalt Not Assume Gestational Status!

Breaking news: Paris Hilton isn’t pregnant.

Readership: All
Length: 800 words
Reading Time: 3 minutes

Anything for a story…

Stylist: Paris Hilton pregnancy rumours: why the hell do we keep forcing women to “deny” that they’re pregnant? (2021-07-28)

The latest news about our favorite celebrity, Paris Hilton, is that she is NOT pregnant. I can only guess that the inside scoop that’s unfit to print is that this is only news because she usually is, for brief periods of time.

Given her state of (past) affairs, it is surprising that the feminist juggernaut, Stylist, finds this surprising.

But the writers at Stylist would have us believe the feigned shock factor of this news was brought on by Paris herself when she joked about being pregnant.

“After joking she was expecting triplets, Hilton added: “Actually, I’m just kidding. I am not pregnant.”

Yes, Hilton made a joke out of it all. Yes, she laughed it off. Yes, she behaved exactly as one might expect someone who’s grown up in the media spotlight to behave in such a situation.”

Can’t take a joke? A trait of the Woke!

“Despite this, plenty of gossip sites are still leaning into the narrative that they’ve concocted. They’ve branded Hilton’s statement a “denial” – as if there’s a chance the court of opinion might still find her guilty – and repeated their claims that an “unnamed source” is insisting that Hilton is pregnant with her first child.”

Why so serious? Paris is working them for attention to the point that the joke is on them!

Anyways, Paris had been talking about wanting to “concoct”, but she hasn’t gotten the chemistry right, or maybe she failed that class.

After a rare moment of self-disclosure in describing how their paparazzi had hen pecked Jennifer Aniston to a state of annui over this same issue, the author at Stylist somehow twisted Aniston’s words to mean…

“Amen, Jen – women are more than walking, talking wombs. Our worth should not be determined by our ability to bring forth children (seriously, this isn’t The Handmaid’s Tale). And we absolutely shouldn’t be subjected to this outrageous pressure to procreate, because there are so, so, so many reasons why a woman may not have children.”

To all those savage readers of a banned book made into a TV series (The Handmaid’s Tale), this is an excellent example of projective hearing!

Nevertheless, the writer at Stylist is kind enough to give us a lesson in converging etiquette by pointing out two conditions that must be met before it is deemed appropriate for us to expect a feminist to bear a child (and then offer our congratulations).

“We shouldn’t rush to congratulate them, either, unless we’re 100% certain that it’s a) true and b) genuinely happy news (not every positive pregnancy test is a dream come true, OK?). And we should never assume anything because, let’s face it, to do so really does make an ass out of u and me – or, at the very least, an ass out of the progress made by the women’s rights movement.”

Note that last line, which is one of those rare moments usually seen only in the wild, when a Libby revels in exasperation and abandons the narrative long enough to be honest and truthful. “A broken clock is right twice a day!”

Finally, the source of indignancy is revealed…

“…some advice for you all: until you can see the baby actually making its way out of the womb, please never assume that a woman is pregnant. Ever. It is absolutely none of your business, unless she decides to make it your business. So wait for her to confirm her news, in her own time, and in her own way.”

Translation: Abortion is always an option, even after the expanding waistline incites excitement (or dismay) in others. Others must never assume that abortion is NOT an option because that would place undue social pressure on the Prego not to switch back to the Ragu before the meatballs are done cooking.

“Dammit! I heard what you said… wishing you had abortion during my second trimester! Now there’ll be hell to pay!”

On a gross tangent, I’ve seen, firsthand, a baby “actually making its way out of the womb”. (BTW, the placenta resembles a giant uncooked pork liver, and it’s the size of a sports bag.) Babies don’t just appear out of nowhere as Stylist would have us believe. (The baby was my daughter, so it was not only Kermit’s business, but also his responsibility.) “Love is a many splendored thing.”

Summary: Obviously, this schoolmarm lecture is another attempt to police the narrative.

Moral of the Story: It’s telling when Stylist has to write a story about celebrities NOT having children to be a sympathetic catatonic for all the middle aged felinephiles who missed out on that chance. That says more about the reader base of Stylist than it does about Paris Hilton.

Of course, that’s the whole purpose of fastidiously focusing on the famous — it’s not as though they’re interesting or they lead admirable lives, bastiards of morality or anything remotely like that. We’ve got to keep the huffy headlines rolling for the masses to be lulled and enterplained. Crime rates would go up otherwise.


About Jack

Jack is a world traveling artist, skilled in trading ideas and information, none of which are considered too holy, too nerdy, nor too profane to hijack and twist into useful fashion. Sigma Frame Mindsets and methods for building and maintaining a masculine Frame
This entry was posted in Boundaries, Child Development, Conserving Power, Culture Wars, Discerning Lies and Deception, Discernment, Wisdom, Female Power, Feminism, Hamsterbation, Holding Frame, Media, News Critique, Personal Presentation, Satire, Single Parents, Stewardship. Bookmark the permalink.

15 Responses to Thou Shalt Not Assume Gestational Status!

  1. rontomlinson2 says:

    “…please never assume that a woman is pregnant…”

    == Don’t notice the bump. == Don’t think about pink elephants.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Red Pill Apostle says:

      This is equivalent to Mike Meyers staring at the mole on Fred Savage’s face in the third Austin Powers movie. It’s impossible not to notice.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Red Pill Apostle says:

    One of my favorite favorite backhanded compliments of all time involved assuming a woman was pregnant. The particular woman was being self-entitled and was demeaning a service worker. A person who knew of her and had listened to the escapade unfold walked over and gave something close to the following as she passed by the woman, “It’s so good to see you. I didn’t know you were expecting. That’s such exciting news. Congratulations!”

    There is a reason that Paul told Timothy (1 Tim 2:15) that women will be saved by childbearing. Watching their children grow and seeing elements of yourself in your children has a the effect of tethering them to reality. Being responsible for another life is sobering for women. That free-spirited, fun and flirty nature of their life prior to motherhood is hard to maintain when you feel like a milk cow or there is a catastrophic breach of the diaper containment zone.

    Liked by 1 person

    • “…tethering them to reality.”

      Excellent way to put it. That’s exactly what children and grandchildren do for a mother. Even at the basic level of mood and emotion, pregnant and nursing mothers on average I think are happier and less neurotic than their childless counterparts because of hormones. For most of history and pre-history, this was just the normal state.

      Liked by 2 people

    • thedeti says:

      One of the most painful things a woman can go through is infertility. I have known a couple of childless women, not by choice – women who could not get pregnant for one reason or another. It is one of the most exquisitely painful things I’ve ever seen a woman go through. They regret it deeply and intensely.


    • thedeti says:

      Women need commitment and children like men need sex. Women absolutely crave it. They have to have it. Perpetual singleness and barrenness are to women as inceldom is to men – it is incredibly frustrating and intensely, excruciatingly painful.

      Liked by 2 people

      • Red Pill Apostle says:

        This is more evidence of the importance of headship. Women go along with the feminist ideal of education and career over family and children without contemplating the risk of being childless. They need a father to let them know that there is an increased risk of suffering for choosing the careerist route.

        I remember many years ago bringing up the topic of a lackluster sex life with Mrs. Apostle.
        The basis of the conversation was that to me a bad sex life made the marriage poor to average at best. What ended the conversation was that I told her I was hesitant to bring children into it because I thought it would make married life harder. This angered her greatly, she stormed out of the room and yelled over her shoulder that no kids was a deal breaker for her.

        So yeah, kids are crazy important to women and not having them is a big, big deal.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. feeriker says:

    “Perpetual singleness and barrenness are to women as inceldom is to men.”

    On the other hand it’s quite comforting to see women who everyone knows would make the world’s worst mothers not be able to conceive. Sadly, far too many of the unfit ones are still able to do so (and do, much to their poor children’s detriment).

    Liked by 1 person

    • redpillboomer says:

      “Perpetual singleness and barrenness are to women as inceldom is to men.”

      I know a couple of career women who rose to the top of the military ranks. In a vulnerable moment for each one of them, I heard them say something along the lines of, “I’d wished I’d married and had a family.” Blasphemous according to feminist doctrine, they were poster children for the ‘successful career woman.’ And I do remember the tone of regret in their voice when they said it; it was real.

      On the flip side, I know one military female who retired right at twenty years instead of pursuing the same path the other two were on. She left to get married and had at least one child, possibly two. She was late 30s, but she pulled it off. Her Facebook page is full of family pics. When I look at the Facebook page of the other two, I swear I can see the regret in their eyes even when they are in some ‘happy’ pic.


      • feeriker says:

        I’ve mentioned this before in some of the other blogs, but I’m probably the only heterosexual male ever to have served in the U.S. armed forces who never, EVER felt even the slightest twinge of attraction toward any woman in uniform. Not once, ever. I’ve always felt visceral revulsion toward any woman who seeks to emulate men, and women in military uniforms are the ultimate example of self-loathing and penis envy.

        As for the two career women you mention, they probably exude the powerful butch-dyke aura that so many such women do, a natural by-product of hyperfeminism, even in women who are not lesbians. It’s man repellent at the most visceral level. Some women understand this and either seek to change it or (usually unsuccessfully) hide it. Others see it as a tradeoff, a price to be paid for enjoying the SIW lifestyle. Still others figure it’s too late to change who they are and just choose to accept the consequences of their foolish life choices.


      • redpillboomer says:

        “As for the two career women you mention, they probably exude the powerful butch-dyke aura that so many such women do, a natural by-product of hyperfeminism, even in women who are not lesbians. It’s man repellent at the most visceral level. Some women understand this and either seek to change it or (usually unsuccessfully) hide it. Others see it as a tradeoff, a price to be paid for enjoying the SIW lifestyle.”

        Yes to the butch-dyke aura, but no to the lesbianism. They were ten years apart in age, the older one I heard a Colonel say about her, “All the men hate her.” I can believe it. Even though she had fabulous hairstyles that she could easily afford, plus was in very good shape from a personal trainer she used regularly, it didn’t do any good. Men could see right through it and wanted no part of it. I think she fit your, “Some women understand this and either seek to change it or (usually unsuccessfully) hide it” category.

        The younger one was a former CC rider that was trying to land a husband in her mid-forties. She even confided in me that the other women she worked with told her to let it go as in, “That ship had already sailed.” She also told me her friends called her in a friendly (?) manner, “The fluffer.” I didn’t even know what a fluffer was until she told me. Still don’t know if this is accurate, but a fluffer is supposedly a female that works on the male porn star between shoots to keep him erect for the next scene as they reposition the female star; she’s not the porn star, she’s on set servicing the male porn star with oral sex and hand jobs. Even in my blue pill mindset at the time, this set off a big red flag in my thinking. She definitely fit in the, “Some women understand this and either seek to change it or (usually unsuccessfully) hide it” category. She was always trying to hide her masculine energy with feminine mannerisms and I don’t think men bought it; I sure as h*ll didn’t, she rubbed me the wrong way with her energy. However, I do believe from what she told me at the time, and what I now know as a red pill guy, she was still viewed by men as a decent pump and dump or ONS.

        Now one thing I’d add, neither one of these women were bad looking for their age. The issue was the masculine traits and energy that they put off. In fact, the younger one told me she was referred to in the past as a “ball buster”, but what men didn’t realize was that she was actually “as gentle as a kitten”, no pun intended, however the word choice was indeed ironic. I remember thinking, “I’d never think that way about you, and I bet no one else does.”


  4. Danny70 says:

    There’s an attractive 37 year old unmarried woman at my office who regularly fishes for sympathy because she’s unmarried. She gets asked out by “average” guys but she can’t lower her ego to date and marry an “average” guy. Everything in today’s society lifts women’s ego to the moon. The people deserving sympathy are the increasing number of young men that don’t have any romantic options and have to build the best single life they can.

    Liked by 1 person

    • feeriker says:

      The silver lining to this dark cloud is that women like the one you describe are getting the comeuppance they so richly deserve. Men just need to stop paying ANY attention to them. It’s the only way that has even a remote chance of waking these women up and making them adapt to the real world.


      • Red Pill Apostle says:

        Comeuppance is such a better way to say natural consequences. You make a string of poorly thought out life choices regarding marriage and relationships for a decade and a half and then act surprised when you get cats as dining companions. The ironic part of the arrangement is that there are still men who would commit to such a woman, but rarely is there enough humility in such a woman to realize what she has done to herself and accept.


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