Carousel Widow in Decline – Part 2

A Case Study of a Carousel Rider in Regression.

Readership: All; Men;
Author’s Note: The contents of this series is a summary of journal entries from the dates specified.
Reader’s Note: The theme for the month of August is “Snickerdoodles – Case Studies of Female Failures”. This post is installment 2 of a series.
* Proper nouns have been changed to protect the author from the guilty.
Length: 2,200 words
Reading Time: 7.5 minutes

Rolling in the Lies (Monday, August 27th 2018)

After I came home from work, my wife gave me her phone so that I could peruse her chat conversation with Rhianna.* Most of it was just femtalk, but Rhianna’s general attitude and choice of words revealed some vital tidbits of information about her mental paradigm.

In all her talk about her experiences with men, she never failed to double down with a proud arrogant attitude. She put herself in the seat of a judge over men’s performance, maturity, and behavior. It was obvious to me that this defiant and rebellious attitude would prevent any man from obtaining any joy or satisfaction from being with her.

In addition to this ugly attitude, she carried an underlying distrust of men and an indignant disdain for men’s interest in sex. I’m sure she learned this attitude from all her bad experiences with men in the past – an obvious consequence of her sexual promiscuity. I was certain that this is exactly what men detest about her, and I expressed this to my wife.

Moreover, she wants to keep a man close enough to satisfy her own needs, but not close enough to satisfy his, which would naturally require something from her. All of this fully explains all of her fights with her paramours.

Reading between the lines of her text messages to my wife, I picked up a lot of other information about Rhianna’s lurve laffe. Verbally, she tells them “no sex”, while at the same time, she is sending nude photos to them, and accepting their invitation to visit their apartment late at night. Rhianna doesn’t seem to understand that the overall nonverbal message always trumps the verbal messages, and then she gets angry and frustrated when men expect her to put out. My wife pointed out to her that she is giving men conflicting messages. But even so, she still wanted to blame the men, presumably because she didn’t want to take responsibility for her suggestive behaviors.

I found something else rather interesting about Rhianna’s personality. As I already mentioned, she is an arrogant, pouty-faced proud-@ss, which really turns men off. But whenever she gets the Tingles for a particular guy, she becomes totally obsessed with him, and loses all sense of dignity and self-control. However, no matter how much she wants the guy, she can never swallow her pride, show her vulnerability, and admit her need of a man.

It was obvious to me that Rhianna intentionally clings to a state of denial, and she refuses to face any information that opposes her world view. She only wants to find someone who will agree with her, and pet her hamster.

Since my wife was getting tired of Rhianna’s complaints and becoming frustrated with all this, she asked me how to respond to Rhianna’s texts. I thought about this, and decided that we could try to make it painfully obvious to her that she is a liar without calling her a liar. So I explained the situation to my wife as follows.

“Rhianna is giving those men verbal statements that she does not want to escalate intimacy. A good man will hear these statements and not escalate. But then she thinks they’re a loser for not escalating. OTOH, a man who gets negative signals and then escalates anyway is not respecting her stated wishes. If a man does that, he’s not the type of guy who wants to get married.”

“To make matters more confusing, she is saying that she is not ready for sex, but is simultaneously giving these same men many nonverbal messages that she is DTF. Not surprisingly, the good guys get confused as he11, jump to the worst conclusions about her character, and then drop kick her, while the bad guys move in for the lay. So basically, she is filtering out the marriage minded men, and attracting the f*ckboys.”

“The problem in her mind is that she is operating in a world of feeling. She wants to feel like she is being seduced against her will, when in fact, it is her will to be seduced. She wants to lose control of her desire, and then roil in it. She expects men to know this, to detect and respond to whatever she’s thinking and feeling in the moment, and to escalate the sexual tension in spite of her token resistance. She doesn’t seem to understand that men are goal-oriented and rational, and she refuses to face the fact that men don’t actually have these superpowers of mind-reading. As a result, she is frustrated that men don’t operate according to her mythos, and men don’t respond to her in the way she expects.”

“If she wants a good man who will marry her, then she should tell men exactly what she’s thinking and what she wants. But if she wants to live in an emotional dream world where she can lie and be lied to, then she will naturally attract a bad man.”

“You need to make her see the nature of her ways, and give her a clear choice about which type of man she really wants to do.”

In her own words, my wife relayed this message to Rhianna in her texts. But the ensuing discussion of the matter with her was minimal. It seemed that she had no interest in chasing down her issue of lies and cognitive dissonance. Instead, she resumed giving us an hourly report of her interactions with a new flame. She told us she is marriage minded, but that’s not true at all. She just wants a fast f*ck with a hawt hunk.

It really irritated me to know that Rhianna doesn’t want to listen to what we have to say, and she was not totally honest with either me or Pastor Dan*. Based on what my wife shared with me, Rhianna is only telling us about 20% of the whole story.

Total denial!

Stunning arrogant Asian woman with long straight black hair pointing at herself with a haughty expression, proud of her beauty, success, and self-love.

A Rigorous Exercise in Cognitive Dissonance (Saturday, September 1st, 2018)

Rhianna came to our shop and talked about sex for 7 hours!

She mentioned a lot of men just want to have sex with her on the same day they met or at the end of the first date. She was very disappointed with those men. She said, “That is sooo dirty! I am a very decent woman… and also drop dead gorgeous! I have a “baby face”, and my voice is just sooo sweet! Men just cannot avoid me! When they meet me, they just go crazy about me! It’s not my fault. They just cannot stop this bad cycle!”

She talked at length about how her previous relationships with those guys had turned out. She said they just had sex with her, and then broke up with her. She told me she was very very sad about this, because she felt like those men just “used her”… and when she dated those four German men, they “took advantage” of her too. Same thing happened with the Australian guy, and the French guy, and the Canadian…

She also told us ALL the details… Whew!

I said, “Wow!  You’re so free!  You can taste all the flavors of ice cream at the market and then put the opened containers back in the freezer and not buy any of them. If I were one of these men, I would think, “Can I just take it from you?” By the way, you still owe me an apology!” (from the Fork Incident) She became a little more interested in listening to me, but she didn’t really agree with me. So I took a different approach.

I asked her in so many words, “If you think men are taking advantage of you, then why don’t you just tell them to stop?”

She replied, “I think that’s not a big deal. Just touch my fingers… Touch my hand… Touch my waist… I don’t think this is too much for me.”

Then I asked her, “What actually is your boundary? You seem to think men really take advantage of you, but at the same time, you let them do whatever they like, and you don’t think anything they do is wrong. I don’t really understand.”

She answered, “It’s only when they ask me for sex.”

I said, “But that is not your boundary, because you still have sex with them, and quite eagerly too. I don’t think you have any boundaries. You just have a lot of expectations, and you’re not making this clear to them… You’re just making bossy demands when you don’t get what you want. Actually, I don’t think you really know what you want, except to be toyed with.”

She gave me a very shocked and annoyed look but said nothing.

I said to her, “Look at what you’re doing. You want to open that door to see what’s inside, but then you won’t go through that door because it requires some effort and investment on your part to make it work out. But you can’t do it. You just want to be pampered and entertained… But you’ve already opened that door!”

She gave me an incredulous look and responded, “What door?”

I told her, “You want to get married, right? So how do you get through that door? You’re opening the door by getting sexually involved, but you can’t get a commitment that way, because that is not the Christian way to do it.”

“You think you can control the sexual interaction, but you cannot leverage sex to get commitment. Yes, it’s true that you can if you want, but you don’t. You think you can say yes or no, so he can save it, until you want it. But that’s not really how it works. See, the truth is, he’s always “saving it”. He’s just waiting for you to give him a green light. As soon as you give him a nudie pic, or a whiff of Honey Puffs, he’ll get high on the vapors and immediately downshift into sex mode. By doing so, you’re conveying the message that no commitment is necessary to get access to your body. That’s how the cycle works. So you see, the real issue is whether YOU can draw boundaries and convince him that you’re worthy of commitment – not whether he can wait at a green light while you rev his motor. You’re just playing around!”

Apparently, she couldn’t comprehend the notion that she had any agency, because she kept saying that men’s desire for sex is what messes everything up. At one point, I told her, “Sex can be your weapon! Sex can be your tool! …until one day you really fall in love with this man and then you decide to have sex with him! Then YOU become the tool! But instead of cherishing his love and building a nest in his life, you blame his desire for you, cuss him out for it, and harangue him about all kinds of stuff until he can’t tolerate you anymore. And then you have the gall to say YOU feel used!  Salami!  I can’t understand why you refuse to see that his reaction depends entirely on you! You have never thought about why he might want to marry you.”

A while later in the discussion, this statement finally sank in, and she asked me, “How can I use sex for a weapon?” (which is telling of her cruel, manipulative mindset. If she were more introspective, she would have asked, “How do I use sex for a weapon?”)

I told her, “You already are! Look, if you talk about sex for hours, send him nude pics, or go to his apartment alone late at night with a bottle of wine in hand, that’s a blinding green light. Why should he not expect you to have sex at that point? If you give him a green light, and then slam on the brakes, that’s about as rude and cruel as you could possibly be, because you’re toying with his desire. But you never think about that. Instead, you think they’re toying with you.” (This is the mirror effect of Psychological Projection.)

Confused indignation.

“Once you give him a green light, you can’t say you “changed your mind” without looking like a cruel, thoughtless, and foolish girl. If you pass that milestone and then try to backtrack, it’s a breach of faith. At that point, sex becomes a tool of manipulation, not a tool of intimacy. If you use sex as a weapon, then don’t be surprised if he fights back or kicks you out. That’s how it works.”

At that, she seemed to get it.

“The bottom line is that you can’t honor nor respect a man and you can’t manage your relationship with a man. Worst of all, you’re selfish and cruel! Looks to me like you’re getting exactly what you dish out.”

She expressed her angsty frustration by saying something about what she wants is not there, but she couldn’t articulate herself any better.

“Now that you understand all this, are you going to take responsibility for what happens, or are you just going to do the same things all over again?”

We’ll find the answer to that question in Part 3.

Related

Meditations on the experiences described above eventually culminated in a slew of posts.

About Jack

Jack is a world traveling artist, skilled in trading ideas and information, none of which are considered too holy, too nerdy, nor too profane to hijack and twist into useful fashion. Sigma Frame Mindsets and methods for building and maintaining a masculine Frame
This entry was posted in Addictions, Attraction, Boundaries, Choosing a Partner or Spouse, Discerning Lies and Deception, Discernment, Wisdom, Discipline, Female Power, Feminism, Hamsterbation, Holding Frame, Introspection, Leadership, Male Power, Models of Failure, Moral Agency, Personal Presentation, Polysexuality, Respect, Running the Gauntlet, Sanctification & Defilement, Sexual Authority, SMV/MMV, Solipsism, Taiwan, Vetting Women. Bookmark the permalink.

29 Responses to Carousel Widow in Decline – Part 2

  1. imnobody00 says:

    You are a very patient man.

    Liked by 4 people

  2. Witnessed this exact pattern many times, especially in Taiwan where it seems to be a hobby for some girls.
    Content warning for your more prudish readers: I once met a lady via Tinder, went straight over to her hotel, she opened the door in her nightie. After preliminaries, canoodling commenced and she suddenly announced that we would not be having sex.
    Of course we did. Later she wanted to meet me again but I wasn’t keen bc she seemed a bit nuts.
    It’s not only in Taiwan but it is a phenomenon there. I think it’s because they tell themselves they have a conservative culture when clearly they don’t. The gogo dancers at funerals are a giveaway.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Jack says:

      “…she seemed a bit nuts.
      It’s not only in Taiwan but it is a phenomenon there. I think it’s because they tell themselves they have a conservative culture when clearly they don’t.”

      During my time of dating in Taiwan, I’ve noticed this. Women who date foreigners, women who have massive N-counts, women who date more than one guy at a time… they’re not quite right in the head. I could tell lots of stories about women who were on the verge of a madness not accounted for by the RP lore. I’m not sure if this derangement is a result of these behaviors, a “casualty of love” if you will, or if they were always that way, and this mental state is what keeps them punting. But I’ve come to the conclusion that sexual promiscuity really messes with your mind, at least for some people anyway.

      Liked by 1 person

      • I also reached that conclusion. I reckon everyone has their own number – probably higher for men than for women – and once they pass it, forming normal attachments becomes difficult.

        Liked by 1 person

      • cameron232 says:

        A lot of male porn stars abuse drugs, commit suicide, etc.

        Like

      • Jack says:

        “…forming normal attachments becomes difficult.”

        Yes, the dead giveaways are the haughty attitude, an arrogant demeanor, and a lack of natural affection that borders on a visceral fear of physical intimacy. There is also a condescending attitude towards those who possess innocence, humility, and a fresh sexual passion.

        Very ugly s1ut Tells.

        “The whoredom of a woman may be known in her haughty looks and eyelids.” ~ Sirach 26:9

        Like

      • Maniac says:

        “A lot of male porn stars abuse drugs, commit suicide, etc.”

        People in the adult entertainment industry in general seem to have “issues” of some sort.

        Liked by 2 people

  3. feeriker says:

    “Rhianna came to our shop and talked about sex for 7 hours!”

    You need to sue her to get those seven hours of your life back.

    Liked by 4 people

  4. Oscar says:

    “We’ll find the answer to that question in Part 3.”

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Femmy says:

    Taiwan!!!

    And I thought modern woman was only like that in America!

    Huh!

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Jack says:

    “And I thought modern woman was only like that in America!”

    There are women like this the world over, but only in America do we see it become the culture wide norm. But elsewhere, anywhere there has been western influence (e.g. the enlightenment, feminism, progressivism, western social trends…), there is a greater incidence of this.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Scavos says:

    Good God, this is basically a highlight reel of my youngest sister. Doesn’t do any self-reflection on her behavior/actions, always looking to get coddled, and wants to cuddle and sleep with her BFOTM, but no sex. Then she wonders why she’s on this rollercoaster of TWU WUV and heartbreak.

    Like

    • Jack says:

      “Doesn’t do any self-reflection on her behavior/actions, always looking to get coddled, and wants to cuddle and sleep with her BFOTM, but no sex.”

      Back when I was dating, I met some women like this. One young woman asked to sleep over at my house, and I thought she wanted to have sex. After we got to my place, she said she wanted to sleep in bed with me (not the guest room), and I was dead certain she wanted to have sex. Then she went to bed fully clothed (except her shoes), she told me not to touch her, and then she went promptly to sleep. I thought this was extremely odd, like WTH??? Is she homeless or did her parents kick her out of the house? I thought she would at least give me a hug and thank me in the morning, but nope. She continued to insist on no touching and she left without saying a word. I couldn’t figure out what her game was, and she didn’t want to talk about it, so I avoided her after this incident.

      Conventional wisdom says women should not go to bed with guys they don’t want. Moreover, her lack of awareness/discernment/communication in this situation was alarming, and it was all so creepy and embarrassing to me. If she did that with some other guy, she would not get much sleep, and maybe something worse would happen.

      I could never understand what her motivations were at the time, but after being Red Pilled, I would say she just wanted Beta comforting. I don’t know… It just seems really naïve to think that a man and a woman over the age of 14 can sleep in the same bed all night together without any hanky panky.

      Liked by 3 people

      • cameron232 says:

        This exact same thing happened to my best friend in college.

        Like

      • feeriker says:

        A great response to her nonsense would have been to pick up the phone in her presence the following morning and (pretend to) call a psychiatrist’s office and make an appointment in her name. When she loses it and starts screaming at you, “What the hell are you doing?!”, you reply, “You are bat-sh!t crazy sick and need help before you get yourself hurt or killed.” That would no doubt have her immediately bolting out of the house and running down the street as fast as she could run, never to be seen or heard from again.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Oscar says:

        “…never to be seen or heard from again.”

        Until she pulls a #metoo on you.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Scavos says:

        “Conventional wisdom says women should not go to bed with guys they don’t want.”

        +

        “I could never understand what her motivations were at the time, but after being Red Pilled, I would say she just wanted Beta comforting.”

        That was pretty much what my sis did, which was essentially being the epitome of a c0cktease. I had elaborated as much whenever she complained, but I quickly learned when the advice is neither heeded nor welcomed, the only thing I can do is sit back and watch the suffering. It didn’t help that the folks were enabling her (i.e. saying it wasn’t her fault), but I also wonder if they came to the same conclusion as me. I guess I’ll never know.

        Liked by 1 person

  8. locustsplease says:

    This reminds me of when I used to pump and dump girls. They crank up the hysterics, circular thinking, and narcissism, and it makes the dump part very easy. You start losing brain cells and the pain makes you walk.

    Like

  9. Pingback: Word from the Dark Side – are friends electric, fiery but mostly peaceful refugee, fewer yucky whites, and room fans are killing Koreans | SovietMen

  10. feeriker says:

    “Rather than waste hours in pointless conversation with your unrepentant soul, sweetheart, let me just summarize your life and your inevitable fate in less than five short minutes.”

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Lastmod says:

    Knew a gal like that….. in undergrad….. She would get totally tanked drunk and then just go into some random guys room, get into bed with him with her clothes on and sleep. None of us kept our dorm room doors locked back then….

    The next day she would act like nothing happened. Act like her behavior was normal.

    Anyway, she never did this to me……… but she confused a bunch of guys by doing this.

    It was later discovered that when she did this with certain guys (Chads), she would get into bed naked. That, I guess, was the signal to “go ahead”. So she knew what she was doing. As I recall, she was cute. Not a hot gal, or striking. Pretty.

    She played on the fact that MOST men were indeed raised properly and would know the consequences of forcing himself on her….. despite how drunk she may or may not have been.

    Like

  12. Oscar says:

    Off topic: sadly, neither Russia, nor the Orthodox church are immune to virtue-signaling.

    Liked by 2 people

  13. bee123456 says:

    “In addition to this ugly attitude, she carried an underlying distrust of men and an indignant disdain for men’s interest in sex. I’m sure she learned this attitude from all her bad experiences with men in the past – an obvious consequence of her sexual promiscuity.”

    This is probably one of the ways that a sex denier is created. Shortly after she marries, all the negative emotions and guilt causes her to shut down.

    Liked by 1 person

    • feeriker says:

      “Shortly after she marries, all the negative emotions and guilt causes her to shut down.”

      This needs to be added to the words of warning issued to any man about marrying a refugee from the Carousel.

      Liked by 1 person

  14. Oscar says:

    On Topic: Suzanne Venker on what happens to women around 30.

    Predictably, there’s lots of hamsterbation in the comments.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Pingback: She don’t need no man! Except… | Σ Frame

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