This post examines a unique hybrid option for approaching the SMP/MMP.
Readership: Christian Men
Author’s Note: This post received some input from NovaSeeker.
Length: 2,500 words
Reading Time: 8.5 minutes
Our exploration of the Christian Conundrum (2021 March 1) and several follow-up posts were intended to help us understand the current situation of the SMP/MMP. Based on Novaseeker’s post, Constructing a Framework of Options (2021 March 15), the available options for Christians in the dating/mating context essentially boil down to the following short list.
- Adaptation/Compromise/Capitulation to the new reality. This option involves various forms of personal accommodation or compromise to the standards imposed by the changed landscape. As Christians, we reflexively scoff at this, but the reality is that it is what most people do. This option is presumed to have less suffering up front, but perhaps much more later down the road of life.
- Strong Hand/Law of the Jungle – Ignoring the new reality because one has a strong enough “market” position to do so. This option offers success to only 30% of men, at most. Within this 30%, there are 10-20% who are naturals, and for them, there is very little suffering. The other 10-20% of men who are not naturals have to work to get into the game, and for them, there is just as much suffering as Option 1. For the remaining 70% of men who are not naturals and no amount of self-improvement can get them there, this option is a smorgasbord of suffering. Furthermore, this layout is highly unlikely to change as life progresses.
- Outlier/Single Tailored/Greener Pastures – This option is for those people who are charting a different course, intentionally going against the grain, neither accommodating/adapting to the new system, nor rising above it, but rather choosing a deliberately outlier path. Men who pursue this option may succeed at reaching their goals, or they may fail to reach any of their goals, depending on any number of factors. This option has a great deal of suffering, but there is also a sense of adventure and challenge which may make the suffering worthwhile.
- Charismatic Faith – The fourth option is to form connections with people through faith, and see where that might take you. It requires social dexterity, emotional vitality, charisma, and a certain level of spiritual maturity which is difficult and time consuming to obtain. Personally, I think this is the best option, but it is only available to a select few – much fewer than any of the above – and those who have this gift are not likely to be struggling through life in any of the ways that this blog has addressed.
Last month, fellow blogger Jim wrote a piece from the (partial) perspective of the first option, entitled Make women property again (2021 April 19), which is quite a good read. I presume it is written from the standpoint of a Christian who has lost all hope of availing any of the other three options. If you are a man in this situation, I strongly encourage you to go read Jim’s post in its entirety.
A lot of readers of this blog have the opinion that the first option is nothing other than abandoning one’s self to the cess pool of the culture’s promiscuity while hoping to find a gem in the mud puddle. But Jim’s post indicates that this is not entirely true, nor is it the overriding point. Furthermore, Jim’s post reveals that this course of action is much more difficult than what we might expect. In fact, Jim’s approach is so difficult for the average man, that I’m tempted to place this approach into the second category – The Strong Hand/Law of the Jungle option.
For those readers who would rather not read Jim’s long post, Commenter Wulfgar Thundercock III summed up Jim’s stance in a comment.
“Nothing is going to fix marriage until things get bad enough that men go back to owning women, and women start being passed from father to husband without much regard for her feelings on the matter. Contraception, safe and reliable, has been available since some time in the Bronze Age. It isn’t contraceptives that is causing the problem. It is the high status of women with regards to men. Control women, and you will find that the problem mysteriously disappears, much like how women mysteriously started having b@st@rds in alleys when the Victorians tried to control men instead of women.
Until then, the only way to go about it for a Christian man is to keep f*ck!ng women until he can find one he can get to stick around. Any interpretation of Scripture that results in incels and whores is a bad interpretation. It will bear no fruit, and it is by the fruit that we shall know the true intent.”
Wulfgar further explains,
“The Jimian position is sort of a combination of Options 2, 3, & 4. We are trying to seed a new Christian civilization in the ashes of this Satanic civilization. We have the strong hand approach because we need to carve out our own little island of civilization from the filth surrounding us. We are outliers because we reject the current society and all of its precepts and priors. We come together in faith, that God might lead us from the ruins as he did Abraham, Moses, and Lot.
We want a new, Christian American civilization to carry on in the manner that the Christian civilizations of old did. America can’t really be saved, and it is too powerful right now to resist openly. As a result, we seek to influence and develop a new elite to replace the degenerates in power, and a faith and intellectual tradition that draws upon the old ways so that they can have the support to reign.”
If I’m interpreting this correctly, Jim and Wulfgar are essentially saying that Headship has to be taken by force – not by faith, not by some sort of agreement or compromise, and certainly not by chance. Those Commonalities of Successful Marriages which are hard to obtain in today’s culture must be leveraged into reality through the strong arm of masculine authority.
Is this approach Biblical?
For most Christians, much of the talk/advice surrounding the mating process has revolved around a rules-based mentality (specifically, “Thou shalt not fornicate, commit adultery, etc.”), which I’ve shown to be lacking from Biblical and mystical viewpoints in a few posts. Jim makes the case that this interpretation is inadequate by arguing that the observance of these rules supports the cultural order, whereas the lack of observance of these rules is concomitant with chaos and a breakdown of society. If the society is already morally broken, then following the rules would essentially be supporting a broken system. (Again, I hope I’m interpreting this correctly.) There needs to be a concerted and determined effort to undermine the corrupt system. And yes, widespread fornication will eventually bring down the mightiest of empires. We’ve been watching this happen over the last few decades.
These words of Jesus seem to apply here.
12 And from the days of John the Baptist until now the kingdom of heaven suffers violence, and the violent take it by force. 13 For all the prophets and the law prophesied until John. 14 And if you are willing to receive it, he is Elijah who is to come. 15 He who has ears to hear, let him hear!
16 “But to what shall I liken this generation? It is like children sitting in the marketplaces and calling to their companions, 17 and saying:
‘We played the flute for you,
And you did not dance;
We mourned to you,
And you did not lament.’
18 For John came neither eating nor drinking, and they say, ‘He has a demon.’ 19 The Son of Man came eating and drinking, and they say, ‘Look, a glutton and a winebibber, a friend of tax collectors and sinners!’ But wisdom is justified by her children.”Matthew 11:12-19 (NKJV)
In Matthew 11:12, Jesus describes the type of people that enter the kingdom of heaven as “violent men.” He’s not talking about natural or physical violence specifically. He’s talking about a different kind of violence that comes from a holy desperation to follow Christ and kill sin no matter the cost. However, it is expected that this may sometimes be manifested in natural or physical violence against those who stand against God’s purposes, depending on the context. The possibility of this kind of violence is revealed in Jesus’ words to his disciples shortly before His crucifixion.
35 And He said to them, “When I sent you without money bag, knapsack, and sandals, did you lack anything?”
So they said, “Nothing.”
36 Then He said to them, “But now, he who has a money bag, let him take it, and likewise a knapsack; and he who has no sword, let him sell his garment and buy one. 37 For I say to you that this which is written must still be accomplished in Me: ‘And He was numbered with the transgressors.’ For the things concerning Me have an end.”
38 So they said, “Lord, look, here are two swords.”
And He said to them, “It is enough.”Luke 22:35-38 (NKJV)
Given this admonition, it is easy to understand why Peter had the aggressive mindset to cut off Malchus’ ear when the Pharisees apprehended Jesus in the Garden of Gesthemane. But the idea is not just to kill for the sake of killing, but that killing those who stand in the way of God’s work may be necessary and justified. Of course, I’m not advocating physical violence here, but only to make the point that men need to stop being wussified, get off their @$$es, and take some kind of action if they are serious about doing the Lord’s work and seeing their lives transform for the better.
On that last point, I’ll share something I learned from reading Joshua 1 many years ago [emphasis mine].
6 Be strong and courageous, for you shall give this people possession of the land which I swore to their fathers to give them. 7 Only be strong and very courageous; be careful to do according to all the Law which Moses My servant commanded you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, so that you may achieve success wherever you go. 8 This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it; for then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will achieve success. 9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous! Do not be terrified nor dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”Joshua 1:6-9 (NASB)
Comprehensively, the lesson I took away from this passage is that there is an order to do things.
- Take action! “Be strong and courageous!”
- Think about what you’re doing. Be mindful of the scriptures.
- Work out the issues that come up and don’t give up until you are successful.
The order matters!
A lot of guys sit around thinking about what to do, and they never find a “solution” that they believe is worth acting upon. They’re doing (2) first.
Other guys run around fighting fires, trying to patch up every little issue that comes up, and although they might hold the ship together, they never make any progress in the larger scheme of things. They’re doing (3) first.
Granted, a man who does (1) first is going to step into some sticky situations, maybe even sin, but that is to be expected. In fact, that may be the exact reason why God tells us three times in Joshua 1 to be strong and courageous!
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”Excerpt from President Theodore Roosevelt’s speech, “Citizenship in a Republic”, Paris, 1910 April 23.
* “Get Action!” is a famous power quote from Theodore Roosevelt. In the current discussion, this phrase takes on new meaning.
Concerning the application of Jim’s approach, I see it like a unique combination of Options 1, 2, 3, and 4. To break it down…
- Jim’s approach would involve a considerable measure of Adaptation/Compromise, but not Capitulation (Option 1).
- To pull it off well, it would require an extremely Strong Hand in terms of confidence, character, and charisma, and a moderately Strong Hand in terms of resources (Option 2). Of course, men like this would be in the upper 20% of men.
- Taking this approach would definitely be striking one’s own path (Option 3).
- It would also be empowered by charismatic faith of the applied variety (as opposed to the Four Square variety) (Option 4).
To be more generous, perhaps Jim’s approach deserves a new hybrid category. I’ll call it “Infiltrate and Usurp Authority from the Gynapotheosis”.
Jim is honest in his assessment of this scheme, in that it makes no practical sense from either a Christian or a pragmatic point of view. But in terms of having an innovative frame and an indomitable attitude, he’s definitely earned an A+.
I’m not sure what Jim’s approach would look like when played out in modern western society, but I’m guessing it would look a lot like what most top 20% men go through before they settle down, i.e. playing the field, lots of sex with different women, etc. So I’m guessing that Jim’s real distinction is maintaining frame, the “ownership” aspect, and enforcing Headship in a society that condemns it.
Taking on the issue of how to make Jim’s approach work in the current context is the whole enchilada, and that will be a hard nut to crack. It’s not clear where to begin, because there actually may not be a viable way beyond individual personalities who are already quite successful.
In any case, this is where the difficult work lies, and it’s why many of us — not just Jim — are avoidant of it. It’s a tough nut. It’s easier to say “This is what works in the ideal sense, and here is why it works” than it is to say, “Here is what works, in general, for most guys and is both fully Christian and fully successful in the temporal set up currently”. It remains to be seen whether Jim’s method is a real option for the average man, apart from outlier cases.
If change is ever to happen, it needs to rise above a threshold momentum, which is about 10% of a society wide scale. NovaSeeker has made the point that it has to be pressed forward by elite figures. Jim has a huge following. If he wants to see this approach grow into a movement, then he needs to get busy writing about it every day so that (elite) men can catch on. But unfortunately, Jim doesn’t usually teach or explain much about the rubber-meets-the-ro
ad details — which is what most men need to learn.
To any readers who are seriously considering experimenting with Jim’s Option, I say that it’s important that you go into it with firm conviction and with God’s purpose of Headship in mind. If you do not have a clear conviction and sense of inner peace with God about this, then I advise you to refrain until such a time that you are ready. Also, as a warning, you’ll be entering into the inner workings of a world of blood and honor. There will be little grace and forgiveness from men, only from God.
- The Art of Manliness (Brett & Kate McKay): Manvotional: The Secret of Theodore Roosevelt’s Greatness (2017 April 1, updated 2020 September 5)
- Σ Frame: Trajectories (2020 February 28)
- Σ Frame: Headship Restoration (2020 November 21)
- Σ Frame: A Mystical Approach to Meta Reality (2021 March 19)
- Σ Frame: More on the Framework of Options (2021 March 22)
- Σ Frame: The Spiritual Confusion of Clinging to the “Rules” (2021 March 24)
- Σ Frame (NovaSeeker): Viewpoints on Man’s Confusion about How God Works in the Life of a Believer (2021 March 29)