YOLO = FOMO

…for good or for ill!

Readership: All
Length: 1,750 words
Reading Time: 6 minutes

Introduction

The life script commonly pursued by western women in the past decade or two is the UMC Career Model, which stipulates that women need a career to support themselves. NovaSeeker discussed the typical motivations for choosing this script, and how it is both prevalent and powerful.

The corollary to the UMC Career Model is that women should postpone marriage and having children until the last dozen eggs are two years past the expiry date, so that they can divert their time and energies into pursuing a career (or so it is claimed). However, the truth of the matter is slowly leaking out, as evidenced in this article from Evie Magazine.

“A generation of OnlyFans, flashy jet-setting Instagram models, hookup culture, and hypersexual songs that slash their way through the billboards – it’s only natural that women of this era find the “wild girl” phase seemingly necessary in their early years, especially their twenties. Sexual liberation has taught women that it’s almost their duty to engage in such behavior and that by not engaging in this culture they’re doing themselves a disservice by not effectively using up their “prime” and “golden” years.”

Evie Magazine (Simone Hanna): We Don’t Need To Go Through A ‘Wild Girl’ Phase (2021/5/15)*

But there are always a few who are slow to pick up the pace, so they need a little encouragement, peer pressure style.

There is a well-known power phrase that is spread liberally throughout the culture which encourages young women to dive into drinking sprees and the hook-up culture, among many other things, while they are pursuing the Career Model: “You Only Live Once!”

In addition to this, there are a couple underlying sentiments which add emotional fervor to the heat of the moment, and serve to propel young women into the meat market and the labor grinder: The “Fear of Missing Out” (FOMO) and the “Fear of Regret” (FoR).

Let’s review these motivations and make an assessment.

* H/T: Cameron

Believe it or not, fraternity toga parties are a necessary element of preparing them for careers in “chemistry” (him) and “public relations” (her).

“You Only Live Once!” (YOLO)

YOLO is the catchphrase we often hear from proponents of feminism and in motivational talks given to disoriented, hormone-ridden young people, which appeals to their sense of impulse and alleviates their fear of the adverse consequences of risk and the unknown.

Over the past two decades, YOLO has been primarily used as an equivalent to “Carpe Diem!” The latter phrase became popularized through the movie, Dead Poet’s Society. A relevant excerpt of this excellent film appears here.

But there is a difference between the two attitudes, YOLO and Carpe Diem! that easy to overlook. Carpe Diem emphasizes making an effort to become relevant first and foremost, but also rolling with the punches, enjoying the simplicities of life, and appreciating what each day brings. On the other hand, YOLO speaks of a more nihilistic discovery or “pioneering” of life in which the consequences of the undertaking are unknown, but are assumed to carry benefits that comprehensively outweigh the risks. Furthermore, it is often understood as a double dog dare for others to join in, with the connotation that if others fail to join in, then they aren’t really living. Thus, it encourages tackling matters of a riskier nature, often involving questionably moral activities.  In riskier adventures, it carries the underlying assumption that one has the nine lives of a cat.

Fear of Missing Out (FOMO)

FOMO is an appeal to the meaning and purpose of life. It assumes that one’s life is meaningless unless one gets involved in certain enterprises in a timely manner.

FOMO is fueled by a Herd mentality, in which young women are pressured to conform to the dictates of their peer group.

Young people, women especially due to herd mentality, are inclined to conform because they don’t want to be “left out”. This is actually a healthy trait for the 12-20 age group because this is when the “social” part of the brain and personality are developing.

However, the problem with the current iteration of FOMO is that there is a significant imbalance in what they are afraid of missing out on. They are afraid of missing out on the pleasures of sin for a season more than they are afraid of missing out on the longitudinal blessings of obedience.

Why aren’t young women afraid of hitting the proverbial Wall?

Fear of Regret (FOR)

Young people are motivated to make certain decisions in life because they don’t want to experience guilt, shame, and regret.  There is an element of FOR in The Feminine Dilemma (2018/10/27) and The Christian Marriage Dilemma (2021/2/26). For some individuals, FOR is the deciding factor that motivates a particular choice.

But similar to FOMO, the problem is that there is a significant imbalance in what they are afraid of regretting. They are afraid of never “discovering themselves” more than they are afraid of regretting missed opportunities and throwing their lives away on sin and foolishness. While it is true that knowing one’s self has significant value, the actual emphasis of “discovering one’s self” is placed on exploring the pleasures of dissipation, which leads to them becoming jaded and bored with life, and not on growing and maturing. In practice, “discovering one’s self” is little more than a spiritualized, positive sounding euphemism for dissipation.

Under the current Life Scripts, young women are doing incredibly stupid things that they deeply regret later in life. But somehow, they never think of it this way.

True Living for Christ (TLFC)

There is a Christian equivalent of YOLO, which is True Living for Christ (TLFC), and like YOLO, it also involves risk taking.  Glorifying God by embracing one’s true convictions (and all the risks that it entails), and the uncertainties involved with trusting God are felt as significant risks in the moment. But the difference between the Christian TLFC and the secular version of YOLO is that TLFC is motivated by faith, and is supported by the movement of the Holy Spirit, whereas YOLO is motivated internally by FOMO and FOR, and externally by peer pressure.

However, YOLO, FOMO, and FOR are not necessarily anti-Christian in nature. Whether YOLO and FOMO are healthy or ill all depends on what it is that the person (i.e. young woman) wishes to pursue in life, which essentially boils down to values, and values are instilled from a young age, most notably through the father.

The remainder of this post will offer three case studies in which YOLO, FOMO, and/or FOR appears as a motivator to do what is right.

Case Study 1 – 18-year-old girl wants to have a baby!

This case study should not be shocking at all, but somehow, it is.

Spawny’s Space: The worrisome rebellion of a timely procreation. (2021/5/10)

This post tells the story of a young woman who has a healthy variety of FOMO – she’s afraid of missing out on motherhood and family life!  Under the current drench of feminist propaganda, how did she ever get the notion?

RedPillApostle responded,

“The 18-year-old’s father is the one that concerns me. No matter how determined you are as a girl, the father always has an influence. And the one in Jack’s example is the typical “no man is good enough for my princess” dad, which is where his push for her to go to college so she can be an “I don’t need no man” empowered girl. What he should be doing as the current man with authority in her life is coach her on what characteristics the new man of authority in her life should have, what pitfalls to avoid and how to best make the family life she is choosing work. He won’t do this, because he has no grounding in truth and no clue how to help his daughter pull it off well even if he wanted to.”

Seems like daddy fumbled the ball, and fortunately for her, I might add.

Case Study 2 – A Father with Frame

RedPillApostle continued with a story of a dad who did right by constructing a Framework for his daughter.

“In college, I was classmates with a woman who had a good father. The guy she was dating in college was a typical college kid, which means he was learning things by trial and error like most of us do at that age. After one of those “learning events” she questioned whether to keep dating him or not. Her recounting of the story is that her father sat her down and loving told her that the boyfriend’s character was good and that one day he’d be a man many women would trip over themselves to have, so she better lock him down early. She resisted hypergamy, got married soon after college and this year will be their 20th anniversary. Even though she is a very intelligent engineer, she has followed him to new jobs putting family ahead of her own version of modern success. My belief is her father has been instrumental in imparting these values in her.”

Amen!

Case Study 3 – Why do Women want to be housewives?

If Dads are aware of some of the positives in marriage (from a woman’s perspective), then that might help a daughter reframe her expectations in light of positive values.

Manosphere Highlights Daily: Women Explain Why They Want to be Housewives (2021 May 11) Length: 11:00*

* H/T: Kentucky Headhunter

Conclusions

YOLO, FOMO, FoR, and TLFC are essentially comprised of the same psycho-social dynamics, but the real world expressions thereof are figments of different motivations. The motivation itself depends on deeply held values.

Just as YOLO, FOMO, and FoR can motivate young women to follow a worldly life script, the same approach can be used to drive young women towards a healthier appreciation of Biblical feminine roles and a life that is honoring to both God and family (TLFC).

The same is true for sons, but to a masculine effect.

Related

• Σ Frame (Scott): Opportunities (2020/2/26)
• Σ Frame (Jack): Looking at the Essentials (2020/6/12)
• Washington Square News: The COVID-19 College Party Scene: Who’s To Blame? (2020/9/23)
• Σ Frame (Jack): Patheological Weddingsday – When wanton treachery brings shame, not honor. (2020/10/14)