A special recipe of traits is required for past riders to get into marriage.
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Dalrock had a post or two about how “Marriage is for the Elite“. In this post, I’ll explain why this is, and why some women fail to land or crash.
There is an elite subclass of women who follow Phase 1 of the Feminist Life Script (i.e. riding the carousel through college and their early careers), and then are able to enter into Phase 2 of the Script (i.e. achieve marriage in their late 20’s or early 30s). Women in this subclass have the following traits going for them (ADIEU).
- Attractiveness / Looks
- Intelligence / Smarts
If a woman has this “success mix” bag of tricks, then she can get away with a LOT in her 20s, and stick the landing in her late 20s/early 30s with a “fine” husband. The man will not be a super hunk like those she was dating when she was 24, but more than fine for the purposes of a long term husband and child raising, especially when the pressures of the Wall ramps up, all of her peers are getting married, and the baby clock is ticking.
In fact, there are entire communities where the women have essentially stuck the landing. Almost all of them are gifted both genetically in terms of appearance and in other ways (intelligence, drive, discipline). Most of them come from solid families of origin as well (generally almost never chaotic ones).
Other outcomes vary depending on what part of the puzzle is missing. Here, I’ll examine a few of the possible combinations of ADIEU. Intelligence — either through formal education (which is preferred) or otherwise — is assumed for this class of women, other than for the final category, so this element is omitted in the following discussion. The women in the photos are rough estimates of the sort — most of the women who fall into the various categories are not generally well known and are not celebrities, and the lives of celebrities will always only approximate the reality of the lives of non-celebrities.
Discipline, Intelligence, and Upbringing (AKA “Dating Under the Influence” or DUI)
Women who have the smarts, discipline, and upbringing, but lack the top tier looks tend to end up frustrated with men because they are proverbial girls who can “sleep up” in their early to mid-20s (and often do), but either they passed over one of these guys for marriage when they were asked in the late 20s or, more commonly, they aren’t good looking enough to get one of the better quality guys to marry them when they are around 30. So they end up writing articles for The Atlantic and Medium about why men in their 30s all suck and are all Peter-Pan man-boys, or how all men are obsessed with looks. Some of them salvage things late with a guy of lesser quality than the ones who were available in her 20s. Some of them end up like Kate Bolick.
Attractiveness, Intelligence, and Upbringing (AIU)
Women who are good looking and smart and have at least a fairly good upbringing but lack personal discipline end up either having quiet abortions to cover for their “unforced errors”, or have some sort of traumatic breakup with Chad-gone-bad, after which they sometimes try to run away and force a reset by changing city/job/etc. Always be skeptical of the attractive woman who seems to check the boxes but just turned up in Seattle out the blue from the East Coast at 32, looks kind of worldly, and is “open to new beginnings”.
Attractiveness, Discipline, and Intelligence (AID)
Women who have the looks, smarts, and discipline, but come from a chaotic family background are the most tragic of the bunch, because often they really are trying to do things the right way, and stick the landing in the educated striver class, but they just can’t get completely free of the gravitational pull of the familial black hole. They cannot avoid getting sucked back into their past life at the worst possible times. Unreconstructed siblings, cousins, and parents often play cameo roles in wrecking the chances of girls like these when they are otherwise doing everything right, or trying to.
Some of these women can actually stick the landing, but in general, it’s only the ones who go cold turkey, more or less, on the family ties, so as to limit the chaotic contagion. This requires them to keep their family at a very long distance, limiting contact with them, and seeing them infrequently. Those who do this more effectively move thousands of miles away and keep it that way.
Attractiveness, Discipline, and Upbringing (DUA)
Women who have looks, discipline, and a good family background, but are not that smart have a very hard time sticking the landing in the upper middle striver class, because men in that class tend to screen for mom smarts. Often the best bet for these girls is to “looksmax” things, the female way, which employs both good genetic looks and discipline, and go for one of the relatively few remaining trophy wife positions.
For those who try to stick the landing this way, the key issue is in obtaining access to the men who are looking for this in 2020, and this is where family connections come into play.
When this approach goes south, this kind of girl can go spectacularly off the rail, accessing OnlyFans and so on as a way to cash out on her discipline-honed looks, and the less well-connected her family is, the more likely this kind of outcome is (which isn’t sticking the landing).
- Return of Kings (Cyrus Ezra): 8 Common Types of Overly Promiscuous Girls (2018 February 24)
- Return of Kings (Donovan Sharpe): 7 Types of Dangerous Women You Should Avoid (2018 May 28)
- Return of Kings (Beau Albrecht): 5 Types of Women Who Should Quit Acting Like They’re Supermodels (2018 September 26)
- Spawny’s Space: Coming Apart? (2020 January 3)