The Relinquished Life

A woman’s relationship to her husband should emulate a man’s relationship to Christ.

Readership: All;
Author’s Note: The following essay is offered as a thought experiment to provoke the reader’s imagination and inquisitive thinking.
Length: 1,900 words
Reading Time: 7 minutes

God’s Hierarchical Structure of Authority

Ephesians 5:22-33 describes a woman’s relationship to a man in marriage as an analogy of the man’s relationship to Christ.  Furthermore, this archetype contains a hierarchical structure of authority that has been ordained by God.  Snapper TRX has described this hierarchy in his post, Breaking the Chain (March 8, 2018), and he used the following diagram as a visual illustration.

Below is a similar illustration which compares the Christ centered Covenant archetype with the Blue Pill and Red Pill models.  In this figure, Relationship A is the relationship between Christ and man.  Relationship B is the relationship between a man and his wife.  Based on the claims of Ephesians 5:22-33, the remainder of this article illustrates a comparison between these two relationships (A and B) in the hierarchy.

Relationship B: Man Relinquishes His Life to Christ

In Galatians 2:20, Paul states the testimony of a man who has relinquished his life to Christ.

“I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me.  The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”

Galatians 2:20 (NIV)

Oswald Chambers wrote about The Relinquished Life in his post for March 8.

“To become one with Jesus Christ, a person must be willing not only to give up sin, but also to surrender his whole way of looking at things.  Being born again by the Spirit of God, means that we must first be willing to let go, before we can grasp something else.  The first thing we must surrender is all of our pretense or deceit.  What our Lord wants us to present to Him is not our goodness, honesty, or our efforts to do better, but real solid sin.  Actually, that is all He can take from us.  And what He gives us in exchange for our sin is real solid righteousness.  But we must surrender all pretense that we are anything, and give up all our claims of even being worthy of God’s consideration.

Once we have done that, the Spirit of God will show us what we need to surrender next.  Along each step of this process, we will have to give up our claims to our rights to ourselves.  Are we willing to surrender our grasp on all that we possess, our desires, and everything else in our lives? Are we ready to be identified with the death of Jesus Christ?

We will suffer a sharp painful disillusionment before we fully surrender.  When people really see themselves as the Lord sees them, it is not the terribly offensive sins of the flesh that shock them, but the awful nature of the pride of their own hearts opposing Jesus Christ.  When they see themselves in the light of the Lord, the shame, horror, and desperate conviction hit home for them.”

Oswald Chambers: The Relinquished Life (entry for March 8).

Relationship C: The Wife Relinquishes Her Life to her Husband

If we take the liberty to rewrite the scripture passage from Galatians from the perspective of the Godly wife, it might read something like this.

“I have been joyfully nailed in the marriage bed, and I am no longer a striving independent wimmin (SIW), but my husband and family find a joyful, fresh new life through me.  The life I now live in the body, I live by trusting in my husband, who loves me daily and took such huge costs and accepted great risks upon himself to marry me.”

Galatians 2:20 (NΣFV)

In like manner, the following section contains a reworked version of Chambers’ words from the perspective of the submissive wife.

The Relinquishing Wife

For a wife to become one with her husband, she must be willing not only to give up her ‘strong, independent lifestyle’, but also to surrender her whole way of looking at things.  Finding a new life and identity as a married woman means that she must first be willing to let go of her vain grasping for control and autonomy before she can grasp something else.  The first thing she must surrender is all her hamsterbated pretenses and solipsistic deceit, which is the feminine variety of sin.

  • What our Lord wants her to present to Him is not her virtue signaling, feigned honesty, or her self-serving efforts to “do better”, but real solid sin.  She has to get real and stop clinging to the hamsterized vanity of her solipsistic mind.
  • What her husband wants is for her to pursue a fully abandoned holiness as described in 1st Peter 3:1-7.

“Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.  Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes.  Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.  For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful.  They were submissive to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master.  You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.  Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.”

1 Peter 3:1–7 (NKJV)

Being submissive necessarily includes being ready and joyfully enthusiastic in the family room, the kitchen, and the bedroom, which are the three main spheres of a married woman’s influence.  Actually, sincere submission as an expression of trust and respect is the greatest thing that a woman can offer to a man that has an eternal spiritual impact.  Consequently, the husband can find rest in his own home, an inspiration to his faith, and confidence through exercising his authority in his marriage and family.  Thus, the husband will grow spiritually, and come to love and appreciate his wife more genuinely.  Furthermore, what God gives a woman in exchange for her submission is real solid righteousness!  But she must surrender all pretense that she is anything of herself, and give up all her claims of even being worthy of her husband’s consideration.

Once she has done that, her husband will show her what she needs to surrender next.  Her cooperation in this endeavor is very important, because her submission is only made evident to the husband through her willingness to obey.  Along each step of this process, she will have to give up her claims to her rights to herself.  In the beginning, this might take the extreme form of “no more supercilious $ћit tests”, or “no more girls’ night out (getting drunk and flirting with other men)”.  But as time progresses and sanctification sets in, his demands will grow ever more nuanced, such as, “no more trash talk (e.g. gossiping)”, or “no more of your egotistical insistence on having the last word”.  Is the woman willing to surrender her grasp on all that she possesses, her desires, and everything else in her life?  Is she ready to be identified as the faithful wife of her husband?

All women suffer a sharp painful disillusionment before they fully surrender, but it is best for them not to be disheartened so much as to avoid postponing this wake up, because eventually, all women must surrender.  Some do so willingly by getting married young, and therefore reap the joys and blessings intended by God and nature, while others have this disillusionment rudely foisted upon them after they have wasted their youth on self-centered profligacy and have Hit the Wall (AKA “going over the falls”).  A woman who goes through life this way forfeits any blessings she may have otherwise had by accepting the truth and serving the Lord and her husband during her prime years of peak fertility.

When women really see themselves as men (i.e. her husband) see them, it is not their terribly offensive sins of the flesh that shock them (for they have known this propensity all along), but the awful nature of the pride of their own hearts opposing the love, guidance, and discipline provided by husbands.  When they see themselves in the light of their husband’s opinions, the shame, horror, and desperate conviction hit home for them.

Conclusions

Some readers might assume this post is satire, or that it is grossly out of step with the times. But in fact, the truths about Headship contained here (1) are the reason why the Christian Marriage Dilemma exists, and (2) they offer a working solution to the Christian Conundrum. More to the point, it is the only solution that God offers to married couples, so it is important for us to take these things to heart.

If you are a man faced with the question of whether or not to surrender to Christ, make a determination to go on through the crisis, surrendering all that you have and all that you are to Him.  And God will then equip you to do all that He requires of you, for it is the intentions of the Lord for you to be salt and light to others around you.  If you are a single man with the mind to be married, do not waste your time, money, and strength pursuing a wife in the lopsided liberalized MMP.  Stay focused on your work for God, your mission in life, being salt and light for the Lord, and at the right time, the right woman will notice this and come to you. (See Scott’s Axiom.) If you are married, then do the heavy lifting necessary to work towards Headship.

If you are a young woman or a wife faced with the question of whether or not to trust and submit to a man in marriage or to your husband, respectively, make a determination to go on through the crisis of belief, surrendering all that you have and all that you are to the man you choose or have chosen, respectively.  And God will bless you as a woman of great faith, just as it is said of Abraham’s wife, Sarah.  Your blessings will overflow to your husband and children, for it is the intentions of the Lord to bless them through you.

Related

About Jack

Jack is a world traveling artist, skilled in trading ideas and information, none of which are considered too holy, too nerdy, nor too profane to hijack and twist into useful fashion. Sigma Frame Mindsets and methods for building and maintaining a masculine Frame
This entry was posted in Choosing a Partner or Spouse, Courtship and Marriage, Female Power, Hamsterbation, Headship and Patriarchy, Hypergamy, Introspection, Male Power, Models of Success, Organization and Structure, Relationships, Self-Concept, Solipsism, Strategy, The Power of God, Vetting Women. Bookmark the permalink.

86 Responses to The Relinquished Life

  1. professorGBFMtm2021 says:

    Jack is this what your talking about,thought experiment -wise&male-power wise from myself especialy!?
    ”Woke up today!I’m alone!I look around!But baby you were gone!Now that your gone!Don’t need nobody!To hold or tie me down!I broke the chains!So let me be!I’ve gotta be free”!
    New testament epilougue(In 1st corinthians!) from st.paul!
    ”If only in this life we have hope in christ,we are of all men most to be pitied!
    But christ has been indeed raised from the dead!The first fruit of those who have fallen asleep”!
    EXTRA EPILOUGUE!(From 2nd timothy!)st.paul again!
    ”Indeed ,all those who desire to live godly lives will be persucuted!
    While evil men&imposters go from bad to worse!Deceiving&being deceieved”!
    Here at JACKS!
    Class is over!On your way!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Rock Kitaro says:

    Nice. That’s part of the reason why I can’t stand for us to be calling ourselves Kingz and Queenz. I’m not a king. Not even the king of my castle. In all areas, I want to serve my king, my Lord and Savior.

    Liked by 4 people

    • LUTHERBOT says:

      It is true that the Lord Jesus Christ is the true King of Kings and that all His servants must obey Him. As for people calling themselves “kingz and queenz”, I know that people, particularly young people, say this in jest.

      But it is also a Scriptural truth that every man who is saved from his sins by repentant faith in Christ (not relying on any of his works or own righteousness, but solely on Christ and His sacrifice) is also a king in God’s sight. Perhaps not in the world’s darkened perspective, but in God’s, the only one that ultimately really matters.

      And from Jesus Christ, who is the faithful witness, and the first begotten of the dead, and the prince of the kings of the earth. Unto Him that loved us, and washed us from our sins in His own blood,
      And hath made us KINGS AND PRIESTS unto God and His Father; to Him be glory and dominion for ever and ever. Amen.
      Revelation 1:5-6

      Perhaps this is an undiscussed component of the lack of masculinity we see in Christianity today. Because this doctrine is not taught or well-known, we do not recognize our royal position in Christ, and we therefore do not act accordingly. People have been debating whether godliness is attractive to women or not. Perhaps not the version of “godliness” practiced in the contemporary church – but godliness, as a king? It would be interesting to see what happens when we apply the Bible in this manner.

      Like

  3. Oscar says:

    I’m amused that “On The Turning Away” has a bunch of images of ’60s hippie buses, and this post has images of ’50 housewives.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Ame says:

    (NΣFV)

    LOLOL!!!

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Ame says:

    just stating the obvious we all know here … honoring God according to how He has directed us in His Holy Word, does not guarantee our spouse will be receptive or reciprocate. it simply means we are honoring God according to His Holy Word.

    i learned early in my first marriage that the Bible is not an ‘if-then’ kinda book. we don’t do what we’re instructed only if the other person does their part first. and doing what we’re instructed doesn’t guarantee the other person will do their part when we do ours.

    and neither negates the truth that we should still do what we’re instructed, regardless.

    Liked by 6 people

    • feeriker says:

      I think many people who call themselves Christians spend an inordinate amount of time and energy combing God’s Word for “loopholes,” “exceptions,” and proverbial “Get out of … free cards” when if they would simply internalize the Word and do their best, with God’s help, to live and walk it, those things God demands of them that they believe to be “unpleasant” are much less so, or not so at all. If most of us were really honest we would admit that the effort and time expended in looking for ways to avoid doing what He asks of us usually leads to those very same unpleasant outcomes we were trying to avoid in the first place.

      Liked by 4 people

      • Ame says:

        Truth, Feeriker. And the most amazing thing in all that to me is both the patience and mercy, and also the forgiveness of a Holy God. He knows we are sinners, yet His love for us is beyond what we can ever imagine. So humbling and powerful.

        Liked by 1 person

      • SFC Ton says:

        I disagree

        I doubt most folks care enough to do all the mental gymnastics

        Liked by 1 person

      • Ame says:

        hummm … idk, Ton, it’s amazing the lengths people will go to in order to justify their choices.

        but maybe that’s changing with the great exodus from church attendance … ditching church while giving up caring?

        lots of people clinging to all sorts of crazy trying to find some kind of meaning.

        seems they’re doing some kind of mental gymnastics to make all that crazy work in their brains.

        Liked by 2 people

      • Lexet Blog says:

        I think it’s less mental gymnastics in developing a coherent system, and more likely that they justify whatever is convenient for them at the moment, while willfully ignoring longterm implications

        Liked by 1 person

      • SFC Ton says:

        Pretty much

        Folks are generally lazy so I doubt they spend much time thinking about what they so/ don’t do

        Liked by 2 people

      • Sharkly says:

        “The “optimal” move”
        the optimal move is over. done. that left with the fall. everything since then has been second best, at best. perfection will not happen again till Jesus comes back. in the meantime we are in a continuous struggle to do the best we can with what we’ve got … to learn to be content … to honor God and His Word the best we can everyday

        LOL Apparently you don’t know what “optimal” means.
        “OPTIMAL”~ ADJECTIVE: best or most favorable; optimum, most desirable possible under a restriction expressed or implied.

        Optimal does not mean perfection. but doing the best we can, like you said in your attempt to correct or clarify jack, who was in fact correct in his choice of the word optimal.

        “…the more kind i was to him, the more i cared for him and our home and our children, the angrier he became. and he saw me as the enemy…”

        I suspect your husband had intimacy-anorexia, which often goes along with other sex addictions. The more you tried to establish intimacy and mend the relationship the more nastily he would try to distance you and make it to where you would not want to be close with him. Furthermore he would then likely try to gaslight you and others, that you were the cause of why he had to be so nasty towards you. That’s too bad, but I can certainly sympathize with your plight having dealt with that myself. Just focus on doing your best for your current husband. Optimize what is left of your life.

        Liked by 2 people

      • Ame says:

        LOL Apparently you don’t know what “optimal” means.
        “OPTIMAL”~ ADJECTIVE: best or most favorable; optimum, most desirable possible under a restriction expressed or implied.

        Optimal does not mean perfection. but doing the best we can, like you said in your attempt to correct or clarify jack, who was in fact correct in his choice of the word optimal.

        i stand corrected. my apologies to Jack.

        Like

    • Jack says:

      The thing that a lot of people don’t seem to understand is that when one person is obedient, it becomes much easier for others to be obedient. The down side is that it also becomes much easier for others to take advantage of you. This is what prevents a lot of people from being obedient. This goes back to Wednesday’s post about the Prisoner’s Dilemma. The “optimal” move (whether to cooperate or defect) depends on the character of other players. God is entirely trustworthy, but our life decisions always involve other people. This is why it is important to choose friends wisely and exercise personal boundaries when necessary.

      Liked by 5 people

      • Ame says:

        The thing that a lot of people don’t seem to understand is that when one person is obedient, it becomes much easier for others to be obedient.

        sometimes. sometimes it brings out the evil in the other person.

        21 If your enemy is hungry, give him bread to eat;
        And if he is thirsty, give him water to drink;
        22 For so you will heap coals of fire on his head,
        And the Lord will reward you.
        Proverbs 25:21-22

        my first husband was not my enemy, but the spirit in him was the enemy of the spirit in me, and the closer i drew to Jesus, the more kind i was to him, the more i cared for him and our home and our children, the angrier he became. and he saw me as the enemy. and all my love and kindness became like hot coals of fire being heaped on his head. ever think about how one might feel having hot coals of fire heaped on their head? they don’t like it. and it made him even more angry and more evil. all the things you men say a wife should do? i did them. and he hated me for it. despised me for it. seethed with hate for me for it. sometimes … honoring God the best we know how costs us. a lot.

        The down side is that it also becomes much easier for others to take advantage of you.

        yes. often if not always. there’s always a risk in following Christ. not saying we should be stupid or naive, but, in Jesus’ own words from Matthew 10:

        16 “Behold, I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves. Therefore be wise as serpents and harmless as doves. 17 But beware of men, for they will deliver you up to councils and scourge you in their synagogues. 18 You will be brought before governors and kings for My sake, as a testimony to them and to the Gentiles. 19 But when they deliver you up, do not worry about how or what you should speak. For it will be given to you in that hour what you should speak; 20 for it is not you who speak, but the Spirit of your Father who speaks in you.

        21 “Now brother will deliver up brother to death, and a father his child; and children will rise up against parents and cause them to be put to death. 22 And you will be hated by all for My name’s sake. But he who endures to the end will be saved. 23 When they persecute you in this city, flee to another. For assuredly, I say to you, you will not have gone through the cities of Israel before the Son of Man comes.

        “The “optimal” move”

        the optimal move is over. done. that left with the fall. everything since then has been second best, at best. perfection will not happen again till Jesus comes back. in the meantime we are in a continuous struggle to do the best we can with what we’ve got … to learn to be content … to honor God and His Word the best we can everyday … knowing we’ll fail … asking for His forgiveness, yet again … picking ourselves up by our bootstraps, yet again … and taking that next step forward, yet again.

        it’s not promised to be easy or pretty. it’s promised to be fraught with suffering and trial and danger and harsh realities. it’s promised to bring us to our knees. it’s promised to bring us to that crux in the road often where we have to make hard choices – what will we do? what will we base those decisions on? our past will always play a part. our experiences will always play a part. our personalities will always play a part. God knows this. and He is merciful. and He is good. and He forgives us over and over.

        there are always other people involved. always. other people will always be hurt. sometimes we can save them and protect them; sometimes we cannot. i had to watch my daughters be broken by their father – and not simply hurt or wounded, but literally broken … and not just once, but twice. but i was able to protect them from some of what he did, and i’ve been able to protect them a lot from most all that his parents and brother did and continue to do – like a storm wall with their storm continuously raging on one side protecting them on the other.

        every day we are faced with the choice: “Choose you this day whom you will serve.” sometimes we get it right. sometimes we fail.

        Liked by 4 people

      • Elspeth says:

        Yes. I believe you. I am acquainted with a woman whom I know was doing her level best but her husband had demons he was unwilling to face.

        This, I know, isn’t the audience for that perspective , but it does happen even in our “ethnocentric” culture.

        On the other hand, my husband kept his junk at home, but there were other issues, not sexual thankfully. I prayed and loved him without reservation. Over time he came to faith. Not because of me, he’d say, but in part because of me.

        Liked by 2 people

      • Ame says:

        that is so awesome, Elspeth! prayer is powerful.

        prayer, faith, can move mountains. but prayer anchors us to Christ especially when our world is shattering around us.

        it was said that if anyone could have prayed their Husband to Jesus, it was me. i prayed fervently for him for years and years. i searched my heart to make sure my prayers were for him and not me. i gathered a few trusted friends to pray with me, and they faithfully did for many years, too.

        i learned some harsh lessons, ones that are still painful. just b/c we pray for something, even if it’s in God’s will, does not mean God will inflict His will on people who choose against Him. He gives us all the freedom to choose, even when our choices hurt other people.

        i read books on prayer. i did bible studies on prayer. i prayed directly from the scriptures. and, yet, God did not force His will on my Husband.

        my Husband claimed to be a believer. many have wondered about that, esp since his death, including my daughters and myself. they each brought it up individually over time … “Mama, do you think Daddy is in heaven? Do you think he really knew Jesus?” wanna break a kid’s heart? … anyway, i told them that only God knows the heart of man, and we will choose to believe that Daddy is in heaven b/c we need to believe it, and when we find out the truth when we get there, we’ll be with Jesus, and it will be okay.

        a lot of theological questions in all that that i don’t have answers for.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Elspeth says:

        I don’t think I prayed my husband into change. I think his mother did. She died while we were dating, but she died very worried about him because he had quite a mess on his hands. To borrow from Forest Gump, “That’s all I have to say about that.” But she was praying for him fervently, all her boys really, on her death bed.

        I think it was probably her more than me that made the difference, and I think that’s why he acknowledges my contribution to his transformation, but won’t do that thing that many men do and lay it at my feet. That, and he’s just not built that way.

        At the end of the day, it is God who saves and it is the individual person who repents and makes the choice to pursue righteousness. We can’t do it for them no matter how much we wish we could. Same goes for our kids, by the way. We tend to forget that sometimes.

        It’s natural for your kids to want to know, “What if…?” Your answers are wise and insightful. Because truly, you are correct. Only God knows their father’s eternal end. And I’m convinced that many of us will be surprised about who is in heaven, and surprised by who isn’t.

        So we work out our own salvation with fear and trembling so that we aren’t surprised by our own ends.

        Liked by 2 people

      • Ame says:

        thank you, Elspeth. can’t take any credit, though … lots and lots of prayer for wisdom and direction 🙂

        i think we’ll be greatly surprised by so much when we get to heaven, especially who’s there and who isn’t.

        what a gift your mother-in-law was. it’s overwhelming to me the power of prayer and love through time.

        At the end of the day, it is God who saves and it is the individual person who repents and makes the choice to pursue righteousness.

        when we really get this, it relieves us of so much, trying to take responsibility for what isn’t ours to begin with. when i was growing up in the church there was this huge teaching that if we don’t tell people about Jesus, they will go to hell. that all the responsibility was on us. it took years for God to unlearn that and reteach me the truth.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Sharkly says:

        To borrow from Forest Gump; ~ Believer is as believer does.
        If he didn’t act like God was the Lord of his life, it is because he wasn’t. He shouldn’t have been defrauding you of sex, while instead using porn and prostitutes. Do not be deceived, adulterers have no inheritance in the kingdom of God, despite what they may claim. People can become “saved” after adultery, but nobody commits adultery who has God’s Holy Spirit dwelling in them. King David was under the Jewish sacrificial system, whereby he could make sacrifices for his sins, after the fact. We are not. We cannot slay Christ afresh to continue on in sin. To become a Christian and then to turn from that grace, leaves a person worse off, and damned, with no further grace available to those who have trampled underfoot the Blood of Christ Jesus. That’s what the Bible teaches.

        Liked by 1 person

  6. professorGBFMtm2021 says:

    EVERYBODY
    Remember the song ”saved by zero” by the fixx in ’83?Heres another ”fixx” song from’82!
    ”Crying parents tell their children if you survive
    Don’t do as we did!
    Son says if we survive ,they’ll be nothing to do too!
    Daughter says she’ll be dead with you too!
    STAND OR FALL!STATE YOUR PEACE TONIGHT!STANDORFALL!
    Is this the value of our existence!?
    RED or BLUE whats the diffirence”!?
    This not remind you of most people in or out of churches?
    Like where parents want their 25 year old daughter to marry a 25-30 year old millionaire(How many of these existed ever?) for instance?
    Is this realistic?Just like men who think theirs a abundence of,for my part 25-30 year old lynda carters from the late’70’s./early’80’s,is either realistic?
    All of you with daughters ,you don’t think I was worried about my 6 year old G.F. being harmed by any body or was I beleaving all people are good?Why you think I can relate to married people on here so well?What have I told you from the begining?I don’t harm people or even animals!How you think I could keep a little girl happy for 6 months straight at age 7?Heavy with dark triad stuff or heavily with psuedo-beta when I’m happy with a girl?I can’t beleave all these women chasing after guys in prison,& almost everybody in RL looks the other way while claiming to care about women &children& all this metoo stuff thrown in too?

    Liked by 1 person

    • “Is this realistic?Just like men who think theirs a abundence of,for my part 25-30 year old lynda carters from the late’70’s./early’80’s”

      Mmmmm. Lynda Carter.

      You know, she has a beautiful daughter who has already wasted her 20’s seeking the fame her mother had. A real shame, that.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Eric Francis Silk says:

    “If you are a single man with the mind to be married, do not waste your time, money, and strength pursuing a wife in the lopsided liberalized MMP. Stay focused on your work for God, your mission in life, being salt and light for the Lord, and at the right time, the right woman will notice this and come to you”.

    That sounds an awful lot like the old “you’ll find you spouse when you stop looking” cliché. Somehow you’re supposed to get what you want by pretending really hard that you don’t want it. Nonsense.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Jack says:

      Eric,
      Yes, the waiting is the hardest part, especially when there’s nothing happening.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Jack says:

      I’ve been thinking about your statement some more. I think part of this is a failure of the culture and the family. I believe that parents and relatives should be actively trying to set up young people with good potential mates, but families can’t do this, because our culture and the SMP is degraded.

      Liked by 2 people

      • feeriker says:

        Others have brought this up frequently in the past, but what does it say about how contemporary Christians REALLY view marriage when they’re so stubbornly unwilling to help their own children succeed at it?

        Liked by 1 person

      • SFC Ton says:

        So the family can talked the blame when she leaves with half hour stuff?

        That’s a blow tto family unity few folks will want to take

        Liked by 4 people

    • Novaseeker says:

      That sounds an awful lot like the old “you’ll find you spouse when you stop looking” cliché. Somehow you’re supposed to get what you want by pretending really hard that you don’t want it. Nonsense.

      It’s much closer to red pill thought than that, really.

      Jack isn’t suggesting that you sit and twiddle your thumbs while waiting for a girl to fall into your lap. That is the blue pill view.

      The red pill view is pursue your mission. Build yourself, stay focused on your life mission, improve yourself, your quality and qualities, your virtue, your walk with God, your mission for Him and in the world. And pursue these things — in the world and of God — with an excellence that comes from honed pursuit of them. Women will notice and be attracted to you because … you are becoming more attractive due to your excellent performance in following your mission, and honing/developing/perfecting yourself to that end.

      This isn’t saying be an unattractive, shy, unmasculine guy who is active in church … and you will eventually attract a great, attractive wife. That won’t happen. Because that man isn’t an attractive man for such a woman. Holiness isn’t in itself attractiveness, neither is following God, in itself, attractive.

      However, if you combine it with other qualities of self-improvement which enhance your ability to pursue your mission and to be virtuous for God in an obviously excellent way, and one which is strong, outgoing, and masculine (which it will be, if you are focused on improving yourself in these ways), you will attract the attention of women as a result of this, and if you are advancing in holiness and walking with God, women who are also doing so will notice, and you will attract them. At that point, it’s up to you to notice IOIs, make approaches, and manage the process … but the opening is created by you presenting as an excellent performer who has worked to hone himself and become attractive, and is a clear follower of God at the same time … this is what creates the IOI, and the IOI is where it all starts.

      This is what Jack is saying. It’s really red pill 101. The only difference is that he recommends avoiding the general mating market because it’s a mess, and that’s certainly true. That game is rigged so that you pursue women, rather than placing yourself around women while displaying attractive qualities in abundance, and then generating IOIs based on that. The former is a trap, while the latter leads to a scenario which, from the start, is built in the firm foundation of her attraction to you, and your sexual (and other) authority over her .. which is the beginning of a relationship built on premises that are scriptural and personally fulfilling at the same time. Of course, it takes a while to develop yourself, and while you are doing that there is no “payoff”. And it is hard to sit out from the general market, that’s true. But unless you’re walking into the general market holding a royal flush, it isn’t going to work out well for you there as a man, and you know that already, so you’re not actually giving up much personal value by sitting out of that mess.

      Liked by 6 people

  8. professorGBFMtm2021 says:

    NOVA&JACK
    Thats what people don’t know, I agree with both of you&I agree with a blog post of some guy around ’12 or ’13,I can’t remember which year because I hav’nt seen my saved copy on a old 500gb seagate external hd in about 6 years since I haved moved a few times since then!He said every mens rights group, he had ever been in had had sooner or later allowed girlfriends or wives of the members to become leaders in the groups & the men would go to war with each other over which leader was the true leader woman versus all the member men!That type of stuff is the main problem!Not looks or money or knowledge.

    Like

    • Novaseeker says:

      He said every mens rights group, he had ever been in had had sooner or later allowed girlfriends or wives of the members to become leaders in the groups & the men would go to war with each other over which leader was the true leader woman versus all the member men!That type of stuff is the main problem!Not looks or money or knowledge.

      Men will always compete over access to women. You can never “keep the women out” unless men are not going to mate with women, and that will always have an element of competition among men.

      The key for men has always been this: (1) what are the rules of the competition, (2) are the rules perceived by most men as “fair” enough such that most men feel it is worthwhile to participate, and (3) do the rules, as applied, lead to social outcomes which are desirable for the most people. Those are the questions. Men exist in competitive/cooperative hierarchies. That is a given. And women are the main thing we compete over, whether directly or indirectly. The questions are about the shape of that competition — in whatever venue it takes place, whether it’s the mating market, the economic market, the job market and so on — it all is the same competition just taking place in different “events”, so to speak — and whether the shape of that competition is perceived to be fair enough to generate widespread participation and buy-in and lead to desired social effects (like male social engagement, participation, social investment, cooperation and so on rather than lone wolfing, self-focus, isolating independence, dropping out of social life and disengagement).

      Women dislike hierarchy and competition. They compete with each other, of course, but it’s done in an indirect way, often unstated, passive aggressive and so on, so that the veneer of consensus/sisterhood/herd can be maintained. Thus, since the “men in power” freed them up in the 20th century, women have steadily gone about trying to remove hierarchy and sand down competitive processes everywhere they have increased their direct participation on a “side by side” basis with men, from education to the workplace, from the military to the church. Women prefer social arrangements in which they are participating directly to be flat rather than hierarchical, and for the competitive aspects to be indirect and hidden, behind the scenes, and therefore with fewer and more opaque “rules” and “conventions”, rather than direct and open with more open and transparent “rules” … and so they have generally tried to replace the hierarchical/open competition systems men created and which were in place with new systems which are less hierarchical, flatter, and less openly competitive. Women thrive in these situations for obvious reasons — it suits their psyche, their tendency toward indirect vs direct competition, their passive aggression and the like. Men flounder in these situations because the rules are opaque, vague and or non-existent (and everchanging), direct aggression and confrontation, which is the male norm, is shunned, and male buy-in across the board for participating decreases. And this is what we see in “side by side” contexts where men and women are participating, on an “equal footing”, in the same social or economic institution.

      The same thing happened in the mating market. The old rules, which were transparent and more or less agreed to by men as being “fair”, were trashed and replaced with a new set of opaque, vague, ever-changing, ever-morphing non-rules in which whomever holds the most raw power wins. This suits women fine, both because they are comfortable in a situation with less rigid rules and more opaque and changing/shifting norms, but also because they are in the power position in that context when the rules are removed, so it’s of great benefit to women at least when they are young and powerful in the market. It’s only beneficial to top men, as was pointed out in the market post a few weeks ago. The rest of the men are still buying in and participating, for the most part, because it’s the only show in town, but on the margins we do see participation rates eroding, as more men, statistically, are failing to ever marry than previously.

      In looking at all of this, the answer will never be “the men should isolate from the women, and band together, and then we can do whatever we like” — that will never happen because we are too competitive for that. The answer lies in what the rules should be, and there we have the answer as to why we got where we were: basically the power-holding men (social/economic/political power holders) decided that it was more beneficial for them and their offspring, male and female, to trash the old rules, which benefited men down the totem pole, and replace them with a new set of rules which would benefit their own offspring, both male and female, in a more direct way. In other words, they trashed the rules because it made sense for them to trash the rules — they benefit from it. This has proved case in subsequent history. Who is doing well under the current rules? “Elites” are. Highly educated men and women, scions of the social/educational/economic/political elite class. Everyone else? Less and less well over time, thereby widening the advantage that the “elites” have over everyone else. Changing the rules was a stroke of brilliance, really, because the social classes that proceeded to dig their own graves, in a competitive sense, for decades did so voluntarily, gladly, and with a (&*^-eating grin on most of their faces because they were able to gorge their appetites for a time on sex in a way that had never taken place since the advent of larger human civilizations.

      Cui bono, folks. That’s always the question.

      Liked by 3 people

      • SFC Ton says:

        You can never “keep the women out”
        ………

        Yeah, you can.

        Hell it’s not even difficult to keep them out

        Problem is most men, especially church going men are thoroughly progressive and belive in all the stupid stuff that comes with it

        Liked by 1 person

    • thedeti says:

      Sounds like Anonymous Age 68/69/70…. which changed from year to year. He was / is an early men’s rights activist who I think relocated to Mexico

      Liked by 1 person

      • professorGBFMtm2021 says:

        DETI
        Thats who I was thinking of when I originaly read the blog guys post!You know what I think the post was in response too?WELMER/WILL F.PRICE when he revealed he had married the feminist woman after knocking her up in september ’13!Remember that.then he shut down ”the spearhead”site soon after which was also dalrocks old home before he started his site in june 2010?I know most of the newer guys don’t what I’m talkin’ about,but you remember don’t you?

        Like

      • Novaseeker says:

        Yeah I’m not sure where Bill ended up after that whole business, really. I remember “Anonymous Aged X”, and his warnings … I just don’t think men will ever keep the girls completely out of the treehouse, unless the guys are gay.

        Liked by 1 person

  9. “When they see themselves in the light of their husband’s opinions, the shame, horror, and desperate conviction hit home for them.”

    I think Nelson Muntz said it best, “Ha, ha!”

    A women’s epiphany is never that they’ve f-cked up, it’s always that “Hey, somebody, but never me, is responsibly for this crappy situation I’m in, and that someone, but never me, needs to fix it.”

    Liked by 4 people

  10. redpillboomer says:

    Speaking of epiphanies, what do you all think of this recent Facebook post the now 31 year old, then 27 year old who was the catalyst for my Red Pill conversion 3 1/2 years ago, made the other day? IJust curious as to how you see it. Not trying to be mean or anything like it, just occurs to me as validation of what everyone has been saying throughout this particular blog post “The Relinquished Life.”

    “As with many women, I’ve spent entirely too much energy attempting to control the image that the world sees of me – only carefully exposing those parts that feel acceptable while hiding those that don’t fit the mold.
    My recent journey of creating a business has brought all of that to the forefront.
    While taking photos for my website, I landed on this shot (Note by RPB, aka me: Her 31 year old self pic, I chose not to post it here. Basically she’s still attractive, but clearly not what she was in the looks department just four short years ago.) The energy was there but there was one problem that was pointed out to me – my eyes were two different sizes. Suddenly it became all that I could see in every photo, every look in the mirror. “I can’t let the world see this.” But here’s the truth about me. My left eyelid droops much more than my right even when I try to consciously open it. I go from dry to dripping sweat in the matter of minutes. My face has splotches of hyperpigmentation that won’t go away no matter what I do. I’m really messy and almost never have a clean environment. I have hair growing in places women aren’t “supposed” to. I have a tendency to burn and overcook food – even when I follow the recipe exactly. I have cellulite on my butt and legs. I have scars from years of having cystic acne. I spend entirely too much money on therapy and coaching. And more.
    And you know what?
    I can find beauty and perfection in that – not because I am perfectly symmetrical, match standard beauty ideals, or have my life figured out. But because I am me.
    While it would be nice to say I am done rejecting the parts of me I wish were different and ready to fully own my magnificence, that would be a lie. In a world constantly exposed to external demands and judgments on our bodies and souls, it can be challenging to totally eradicate that programming.
    But what I can say is that I will choose to hold a different approach towards these tender places.
    To approach with curiosity rather than condemnation.
    To approach with the intention to consciously seek beauty over defaulting to criticism.
    To approach with an acknowledgment that darkness comes bearing gifts – especially that which we most desperately want to reject.
    To approach with empowerment in releasing the need to blindly follow a societally prescribed and controlled standard of beauty and instead to turn that gaze inward to choose what feels good to me.
    As Toko-pa Turner discusses about perfectionism in her book Belonging, “True beauty always contains a delicious dash of chaos”.
    The choice is ours to see beauty beyond where we have been told it exists.
    To see it in imperfection.
    In asymmetry.
    In chaos.
    In the aberrant.
    To stop seeing beauty as something to earn, prove, or strive for.
    And start holding it as our birthright.
    May we all expand our definition of beauty so that we can recognize the radiance already alive in ourselves and the world.”

    I can’t imagine her posting this four years ago when she was still quite beautiful and riding the CC.

    Liked by 2 people

    • She was a “winner” under the rules of the game 4 years ago, but is no longer true today so the rules must be changed so that she can still be a winner again.

      Liked by 2 people

    • Oscar says:

      @ RPB

      Your friend is free to hold beauty as her “birthright”, but that doesn’t mean that men will suddenly go back to seeing her as beautiful as they used to.

      Liked by 2 people

    • Novaseeker says:

      It’s the standard line about choosing to self-define beauty and so on.

      And to be honest I have no issues with that at all. I think people should be able to define what they think is beautiful, to consider themselves beautiful and so on — that’s fine, no issues there.

      But, you can’t expect others to agree with you — like you, they are also entitled to their own definition of what is beautiful and what they consider beautiful. This holds true for both sexes (there are also delusional men, although fewer of them because the world’s feedback is harsher for men). You don’t get to control what the other sex finds attractive — not how life works, sweetie.

      Liked by 3 people

    • Ame says:

      “Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.” Proverbs 31:30

      she hasn’t figured this out yet.
      she’s making it all about her.

      Liked by 3 people

  11. Elspeth says:

    I know the spiel around here, but it is simply not possible for a woman’s looks to degrade THAT much in 4 years (especially if she is still in her early 30s). The only way that happens is if she is helping it along by living a pretty hard lifestyle. I’m almost 50 and at least every few months someone besides my husband or family member says that I am pretty. I don’t always believe it, because I’m 49, but there’s a point, and it’s this:

    How can a formerly very attractive 27-year-old suddenly be not attractive at 31?. Why is she growing hair in weird places at 31? Why is her skin messed up? She needs a nutritionist ASAP.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oscar says:

      The old saying about being “rode hard and put away wet” comes to mind.

      Liked by 4 people

    • “but it is simply not possible for a woman’s looks to degrade THAT much in 4 years”

      Wrong. I’ve seen women multiple hit the skids in less than a year. Mostly its rapid weight gain, but the skin can get bad too.

      Got a new puppy. Start going to pet supply store. Late 20’s-early 30’s woman manager is at register. Very friendly. Looks real nice. Hmmm, my brother got divorced last year, I wonder… Don’t happen to see her again for 3-4 months. WTF happened. Looks like she put on 10 pounds a month in the interval. Hair is a mess. Meth? Don’t know.

      Pretty teen girl at carry-out pizza place. Puts on at least 25 pounds at least over the 6 months I’ve seen her there.

      Woman at office. Late 30’s. Spent last 2 years losing weight (lost 70 pounds). Last gasp effort to get hitched I’m guessing. Looks much better but still a 5 at most. Sells her house and moves in with parents while they are getting ready to move to Florida. Puts 50 pounds back on inside a year.

      Liked by 1 person

    • professorGBFMtm2021 says:

      ELSPETH
      You know, the vast majority of women think they are too good to have to do any thing before or after 30, thats is the point in truth right guys!?I know that you are an outlier,just like I’m clearly an outlier when it comes to the vast majority of music with my memory,hence why I never ask why does other men over 40? need prevagen,I don’t!!?I’m clearly not the intended target audience, thats why!Many men over the last 30 years have been going fully gray at age 25!You know I did’nt right?Why you think 24 year old women think I’m in my 20’s instead of early 40’s because I don’t look past 30 years old at any point in human history is mostly why,remember michael landon on highway to heaven?He was only age 54 when he died on 07/02/1991!He was 46 years old but people would have been sure he was around 36 right, on the earliest episodes of highway in ’84!?Thats the type of thing I got going, except I look around 26-28 in my early 40’s!But most women think their still a knockout at 79 years old ELSPETH,as we have already discussed beforeon here and you with DAL’ on his site!You knew that part was coming right?

      Liked by 1 person

    • redpillboomer says:

      She’s still attractive, however she has lost that youthful, zestful look. She no longer is a ‘head turner’ just by entering a room. I’d say a guy now attracted to her via looks alone, would have to be a guy who thinks she still ‘looks good’ for her age, which I guess she does sort of now. I knew her before, so I see her looks as having gone down in four years. When I worked with her, I’d put her at an 8 for sure, possibly 8.5, when younger, i.e. early to mid twenties, maybe a 9 because she was not only pretty, but had a bit of an ‘exotic look’ about her. I’d put her now at a 6.0-6.5, maybe a 7 with nice make-up, not ‘fake-up.’

      Liked by 2 people

      • Novaseeker says:

        What was the deterioration? Skin, hair, physique? 31 is early to be downsliding today, unless a woman is a partier (deteriorates body and skin both).

        Liked by 1 person

      • Oscar says:

        She’s still attractive, however she has lost that youthful, zestful look.

        In my observation, when a childless woman in her late 20s /early 30s loses “that youthful, zestful look”, it usually has more to do with having her soul crushed by the CC than anything physical.

        Liked by 2 people

      • redpillboomer says:

        Point 1: “What was the deterioration? Skin, hair, physique? 31 is early to be down sliding today, unless a woman is a partier (deteriorates body and skin both).”
        Point 2: “In my observation, when a childless woman in her late 20s /early 30s loses “that youthful, zestful look”, it usually has more to do with having her soul crushed by the CC than anything physical.”
        Pt 1 reply: I’m not sure what she thinks is ‘deterioration,’ but for me her ‘deterioration’ is a bit of a paradox. She still is in good shape, weight and hip to waist ratio, however her overall facial look has gone down. She is not ugly by any stretch of the imagination, however when I saw her 31 year old pic, I thought “Where did those good looks go?” If I was working with her now, she’d occur to me as a ‘sort of attractive,’ a decent looking chick more or less, but certainly nothing special…ordinary looking, not plain jane, but at best decent looking.
        Pt 2 reply: This is a place to look. She was a partier, not an out an out sloot like party girl, more of a sharp, feminine dresser, no tats that I’m aware of, nice hair, make-up, overall quality look etc; however definitely bed able (and bedded) by Chad, Brad & Tyrone, aka the CC ‘horsie rides’. She also indulged in cocaine as a recreational drug. In fact, when she left our educational program prematurely, she mentioned to one of the other female participants, “Now I can do coke again.” The program had a rule against recreational drug usage and excessive drinking during the program that everyone agreed to as a condition of participation.

        My best guess: CC caught up with her (increasing her N-count), she hit the wall, and some of the party girl indulgences began to take more of an effect now that she is a bit older. She still is a sharp dresser and her hair style is nice, however her overall look, not nearly as attractive as she was at 26-27 when I first met her.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Random Angeleno says:

        Any number of reasons of which gaining weight is just one. The point being this stage of life for a woman isn’t termed “hitting the wall” for nothing. Further it’s well known that this transformation often happens somewhere around age 30.

        One example alluded to by Oscar: Roissy spoke of the “thousand c*ck stare”. It’s one thing to see it pointed out in photos, it’s another to see it in real life. Most women with high n counts cover it well enough in public so it is not always obvious. But there is still something about the CC that will show up in her expressions that don’t have the zest for life they used to. This also shows up in her subsequent marriage to a man she is less than enthusiastic about. The consequences of which have been discussed here and elsewhere.

        Liked by 2 people

      • Novaseeker says:

        her overall facial look has gone down

        Ah. Probably that’s skin. Also if her attitude overall has changed (soured a bit), she probably is less happy, and that can show up in subtle ways in facial expressions and so on. Partying, drinking, drugging all play havoc on a woman’s skin.

        Liked by 2 people

      • Oscar says:

        She also indulged in cocaine as a recreational drug.

        That’ll do it. Throw in some CC action, and a fresh-faced, young beauty can quickly turn into a cynical hag.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Novaseeker says:

        The point being this stage of life for a woman isn’t termed “hitting the wall” for nothing. Further, it’s well known that this transformation often happens somewhere around age 30.

        Yeah, although the interesting thing is that this transition isn’t generally happening in the same way to the girls who are a bit more careful with themselves today. Today, thanks to better information and habits, better nutrition, better kinds of exercising (better at toning/shaping), it isn’t uncommon for a woman to stay quite hot until well past what used to be the “wall” … there are still a significant number of quite hot women at 40 now, more than was ever the case before, due to the changes mentioned. So given that this woman is only in her early 30s, she would fall, to me, in the “doing something wrong” category, because there are plenty of women who do not see a steep drop off these days until much later on.

        Now, they don’t have the “fresh faced 23yo” look, that’s true. But they don’t have that at 28, either. That passes very quickly, and it is generally skin-related primarily. But a woman who is doing what she should be today, based on “pretty girl best practices”, and not indulging in drinking, drugging and a lot of late nights docking her sleep, etc., will not see much of a “wall” until much later on.

        Liked by 1 person

      • redpillboomer says:

        “…there are still a significant number of quite hot women at 40 now, more than was ever the case before, due to the changes mentioned.”

        Yes, I know of two 45 year old women who look very good for their age; in fact, I was surprised to find out they were in their mid-forties. I would have placed them somewhere in their mid-thirties, upper thirties at the oldest. But, the skin thing, I think you’re on to something there. When these two women have little to no make-up on (they are not fake-up wearers), you can easily tell that they are not the hot young things they used to be; doubly so when you see their twenty something pics they posted of themselves on their social media pages. Today… the two women I mentioned above, good looking, but definitely in their forties, not thirties. In fact, come, to think of it, I’ve found this true of ALL the thirty something and older women that I know when they’re not wearing make-up. NONE of them look youngish, they are attractive FOR THEIR AGE, but not what they were when they were in their twenties…Not A Single One of Them.

        Liked by 1 person

      • cameron232 says:

        My guess is the “hit the wall at 30” thing from the manosphere is an observation that women feel anxiety about turning 30 with no husband/children – 30 isn’t some magic number but it’s well documented that fertility goes down rapidly in her 30s and a number of women start to develop health problems that can lead to doctors having to take all her girl parts (my sisters BFF is going through this – she and her hubby waited too long but hey at least she’s got her degree and a good corporate job now!).

        Severe endometriosis, severe uterine/ovary fibroids, even cancer. Hysterectomy.

        So, the “hit the wall at 30” got extrapolated from “husband/fertility anxiety” to “they start looking worn out at 30.”

        I see a number of very attractive girls around 30 here – IMO they are as attractive as the most attractive 22 year old college grads. But there is a big difference between 30 and 40 – BIG!

        Liked by 1 person

      • Novaseeker says:

        Yeah they can never look like the 20s due to the facial skin issue.

        The best they can to to lessen that is a combination of (1) good surgery (not bad surgery, bad surgery makes it worse) — which, while still obvious to people who know what to look for, nevertheless is aesthetic if done well, (2) lots of good skin treatment from an early age (costs $$$), (3) stay out of the sun from an early age, (4) daily hydration (often overlooked), (5) avoid alcohol and drugs (both dry the skin), (6) get proper sleep, regular schedule, daily (slows aging overall and especially of skin) and (7) using less makeup at younger ages (hard to resist for many) and using makeup that doesn’t dry up the skin (also costs $$$). It will still be clear that they aren’t in their 20s, even with all of that done diligently, because the “fresh faced” look, is really “new, young skin” look, and it’s what draws our eyes — it’s something that is simply not replicable on older skin, and the effect is noticeable already in the later 20s, and goes on from there. But if they do this they are better off — often much better off — than if they don’t, and the difference gets magnified the older they get.

        Makeup skill (selection and application) is critical — especially choosing makeup that won’t hurt the skin long term, and becoming very good at the “snow the guys” makeup look –> that is, the skill of applying just enough makeup to have a significant aesthetic improvement but little enough that many guys are “snowed” into thinking you aren’t wearing that much (or in some cases any) makeup. Every girl can cake it on. But that’s both bad for the skin and obvious, and guys discount it. Key is getting skilled so that you can get desired impacts while being less obvious — it’s more stealth, less obvious to the guys, and therefore even more effective because guys don’t discount it. Most guys can’t help but be snowed, honestly, if the figure is “congruent” with the face that the woman is displaying.

        And that’s the third piece. As much as faces are difficult due to the skin issue, figures are easier (not easy, but easier) than skin is, so a woman gets a lot of mileage from working on her physique — and this is why we see so many women who are 35-50 doing this now, religiously. It’s become much more of a thing than this ever was for women in this age range, because it’s something that gives them a lot of return in a very predictable way that is much less impacted by the kinds of genetics and other factors that have a direct impact on the face. And if a woman can, by taking care of herself and taking the other steps regarding her face, including the skilled/subtle makeup application mentioned above, present a face that is “congruent” with a hot, toned physique, she can snow most guys — especially since she’s likely to place herself in the top third of women by doing this, regardless of whether she is in the genetic top third.

        That third or so of women are doing this because they recognize that in our sex-centric society, a woman’s appearance is an absolute, 100% force multiplier for her, in all areas of her life (work, personal, familial), for as long as she can remain “hot”. So the quest now is not to be a “well put together mature woman”, but rather to remain “force multiplier hot” for as long as possible, because it translates into real power in the workplace, the public square, the home, the church and so on. Hotness is real power.

        Liked by 2 people

    • SFC Ton says:

      A lot of dudes have spent a year down range playing lead tag and gone home to an extra 80 pounds of wife

      So yeah chicks can ruin themselves with a quickness

      Liked by 2 people

      • Oscar says:

        It happens often enough that they actually include it in post-deployment counseling. It’s incredible how callous, uncaring, unloving and disrespectful wives can be.

        Liked by 3 people

      • SFC Ton says:

        Naw

        That’s their default setting

        It’s incredible when they are caring, respectful etc etc

        Liked by 2 people

      • Oscar says:

        Dude, that’s grim. I can’t argue with it, which is even more grim.

        Liked by 3 people

      • Elspeth says:

        I understand about weight gain. The stuff RPB posted sounded like things other than weight gain, which is why I wondered how it could be possible that a woman (who apparently hadn’t put on excessive weight) could change so drastically from 27 to 31.

        Liked by 1 person

      • SFC Ton says:

        Glad you understand the weight gain

        Hard living is extra hard on chicks and the eyes are the window to the soul…. and the hard living sort have pretty hard souls

        Liked by 1 person

  12. Corey Ashcraft says:

    Question? When you mean crushed by CC do you mean that look in a person’s eye that spells despair. Everyone can get that, but, I think for women it might be more noticeable because they are more emotional. The evanescent glow that they have seems to be tied more to their emotional and mental state. If the wagers made on the CC go bad, I can see a woman losing that zest for life and will to fight and that can affect their physical appearance.

    Maybe I’m misinterpreting the last few comments though.

    Liked by 1 person

    • redpillboomer says:

      Hmm, I didn’t use the term ‘crushed by the CC.’ I think the look in her eyes is not the classic ‘thousand cock stare,’ of manosphere lore, but more of a weary and a bit worn look, nothing fresh about it….Here, you might be onto something, “The evanescent glow that they have seems to be tied more to their emotional and mental state. If the wagers made on the CC go bad, I can see a woman losing that zest for life and will to fight and that can affect their physical appearance.”

      Liked by 1 person

    • Here’s I Mad Men quote I find very easy to remember:

      “At some point [women] lose that. That glow of pure youth. It’s like they hit 30 and somebody puts out a light.” (S1, E7)

      Liked by 2 people

    • Oscar says:

      I’m the one who wrote “when a childless woman in her late 20s /early 30s loses ‘that youthful, zestful look’, it usually has more to do with having her soul crushed by the CC than anything physical.”

      What I mean is that when a person dies inside, it shows on the outside. It happens to men, too. You know; the guy with a soul-crushing job, and a life-draining succubus of a wife? You can see it in his face, and in his posture. You can hear it in his voice, etc.

      Something similar happens to left-over women who failed to stick the landing, but refuse to be more realistic in their demands, and know their destiny is a bottle of wine and a box of cats.

      Liked by 1 person

  13. Oscar says:

    On-Topic: Milo relinquishes his life, and renounces sodomy.

    https://www.lifesitenews.com/news/activist-milo-yiannopoulos-is-now-ex-gay-consecrating-his-life-to-st-joseph

    I don’t mean to suggest it’s been easy, just simple: Our Lord endured worse than any of us and promised us that we have to take up a heavy cross each day. Ronald Knox says the Via Crucis shows us the 3 ways we can carry our cross: With bitterness, like the unrepentant thief; with grim resignation, like the repentant thief who said it was what he deserved; or with love, like the Lord, who never minimized suffering but said it would, in God’s time, redeem us.

    I’d never read that concept of the three ways to carry our cross before, and it’s inspiring. I’m the “grim resignation” guy. I’ve never learned to “count it all joy when” I “fall into various trials” (James 1:2).

    Anyway, if Milo is sincere, he has a very tough road behind him, and an even tougher one ahead, much like Roosh. We should pray for them both.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. locustsplease says:

    While i dont have a wife i do have a kid so were 3 of the 4 in a row. She is in elementary school and already tired of pressure to go to college. She doesnt want to go. Grandparents are wealthy and say we will pay for wherever u want to go. Shes scared. Ive told her about how after college she has to go to corporate america and b their slave.

    She says well all the women in our family did and i feel pressure to. So i ask how many of them are happy. None. Do you think doing what they are doing will make u happy? No. So i tell her god wants her to b a good daughter and wife. You can make me or your husband happy your never going to please corporate america. I told her after highschool she can live with me indefinitely work a low pressure job until she finds a husband. She likes that idea. Long long ways to go though and lots of feminism to battle which she is getting from all sides.

    Liked by 5 people

    • Ame says:

      She is in elementary school and already tired of pressure to go to college.

      starts in kinder.

      my teacher sister says that they are required to prove that every lesson plan leads to college.

      good for you for giving your daughter a safe place to live and options other than college. the pressures from this world and families for girls to go to college are enormous.

      Liked by 1 person

      • feeriker says:

        my teacher sister says that they are required to prove that every lesson plan leads to college.

        Is there any kind of outreach or intervention program to get teachers to abandon their careers as indoctrinators in evil and do something useful and beneficial with their lives? In times past I can’t imagine ever having to think that way about teachers as a profession, but for most of the last three quarters of a century they’ve been a toxic influence on society.

        Liked by 2 people

      • Ame says:

        “Is there any kind of outreach or intervention program to get teachers to abandon their careers as indoctrinators in evil and do something useful and beneficial with their lives? In times past I can’t imagine ever having to think that way about teachers as a profession, but for most of the last three quarters of a century they’ve been a toxic influence on society.”

        idk. good question. My sister is just a couple years from being fully vested, or else she would have left already.

        She’s an excellent teacher and has cared deeply for her students for many years. She is the only teacher students have come back to visit.

        She has mentioned that she doesn’t necessarily always teach from the lesson plans. She teaches how each child needs to learn.

        She’s also created a whole education concept but hasn’t had the funds to develop it. I have no doubt it’s excellent; she’s freakin’ smart – a whole lot smarter than I am (not always as much common sense as I have, but definitely a higher IQ).

        Liked by 1 person

  15. feeriker says:

    SFC Ton says:

    A lot of dudes have spent a year down range playing lead tag and gone home to an extra 80 pounds of wife.

    In reply Oscar says:

    It happens often enough that they actually include it in post-deployment counseling. It’s incredible how callous, uncaring, unloving and disrespectful wives can be.

    I wonder, of all the guys that returned from deployment who “went Terminator” on their wives, did any of them admit to doing it because wifey had turned into a repulsive “Jabbette The Hut” while they were gone?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oscar says:

      I’ve never heard of a man offing his wife because she became a dependapotamous while he was downrange. That doesn’t necessarily mean it never happened, but if it did, it must be rare.

      Liked by 2 people

  16. redpillboomer says:

    “My guess is the “hit the wall at 30” thing from the manosphere is an observation that women feel anxiety about turning 30 with no husband/children.”

    Yes, I think it’s a factor, especially if her friends are getting married, worse if they’re married and having kids. One thirty something mentioned to me in passing, “A woman my age pushing a baby carriage leads to a major crying session on my couch and a big bowl of chocolate ice cream afterwards.” The other thing, and this is strictly another informal observation–from the gym by me (lol), the thirty somethings that are in shape look good in their tight, form fitting gym attire, however the twenty somethings look REALLY GOOD, and a select few, AMAZINGLY GOOD. Now if I, an older dude, can see the difference, remember both look good, one good and one REAL GOOD, can you imagine your average 32 year old when the 22 year old comes sashaying by in her ultra tight, ass hugging yoga/gym workout outfit knowing every freakin’ male in the place is looking, albeit subtly these days. Must make the 32 year old pause and think, “Damn I have to compete with THAT, and….I used to be her!” Of course, all the forty-fifty-sixty something men are looking at the 32 year old, but they’re all just a bunch of ‘creepy old men’ compared to Chad, Brad and Tyrone, also working out, strutting around with their bulging biceps and six pack abs. Unless of course, the older gentlemen are still built along the lines of Chad/Brad/Tyrone and figuratively speaking, have that big fat wallet bulging out of the backside of their shorts, then Ms. 32 year old might be interested. “Hmm, I wonder what I can get out of that guy?”

    “Makeup skill (selection and application) is critical — especially choosing makeup that won’t hurt the skin long term, and becoming very good at the “snow the guys” makeup look –> that is, the skill of applying just enough makeup to have a significant aesthetic improvement but little enough that many guys are “snowed” into thinking you aren’t wearing that much (or in some cases any) makeup.”

    That ‘snow the guys thing,’ I used to fall for it that when I was blue pilled, thought they could still look very hot certainly in their thirties, but even forties and fifties with their stylish make-up (not fake-up). But now, my eye has adjusted to where I can pretty much tell what they look like with and without their make-up. A good skill for the younger men to acquire. We don’t talk about that too much in the Manosphere, until you Novaseeker started to unpack it for us. Good job btw, I learned quite a bit from your ‘make-up dissection’ posts! Thanks.

    Liked by 2 people

  17. The thing that a lot of people don’t seem to understand is that when one person is obedient, it becomes much easier for others to be obedient. The down side is that it also becomes much easier for others to take advantage of you. This is what prevents a lot of people from being obedient. This goes back to Wednesday’s post about the Prisoner’s Dilemma. The “optimal” move (whether to cooperate or defect) depends on the character of other players. God is entirely trustworthy, but our life decisions always involve other people. This is why it is important to choose friends wisely and exercise personal boundaries when necessary.

    I think this thinking is too worldly. Every Christian should be striving for “well done good and faithful servant” and not necessarily self beneficial options.

    Liked by 1 person

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