Come ye, all ye who are hoary and well laiden!
Length: 3,300 words
Reading Time: 12 minutes
As I was reading NovaSeeker’s last post about The Slow Train Wreck (2021 January 18), and some related web articles, it became apparent to me that the train wreck experience is framed by W as a sort of spiritual awakening. There were some comments under the last few posts that insinuated the same idea.
In this post, I’ll recount several quotes and clips that made me realize this. Relevant statements are indicated in boldface. Moreover, it supports the concept of Feminism being like a religion.
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New York Post (Melkorka Licea): ‘My sexuality is sacred’: Bisexual pastor-turned-stripper has never been happier (2020 September 23)
Note the statement “My sexuality is sacred“ in the title. Sexuality is truly sacred, but this article puts a twist on this, as it tells the story of her “conversion”.
[W] left her pastor life behind to pursue her dreams of becoming a stripper.
The opening statement implies that she has a new calling in life, a new purpose for living. Being “regenerated” is a central component of a spiritual experience.
Growing up in a strict Baptist family, [W] was expected to be quiet, reserved and sweet. But her dreams weren’t quite so conservative.
She discovered that the various norms and expectations that have been put upon her by God, by other humans, and by human institutions (e.g. church, school) are different from her inner nature and/or who God created her to be. This is another element of a “spiritual awakening”.
“From a young age, I had fantasized about being a stripper,” [W], who now works as an erotic dancer on OnlyFans, told The Post. “But I was indoctrinated to believe my desires and my body were innately sinful and bad.”
She experienced an internal struggle between what she desires, and what she knows is a morally worthy choice about what to do with her life.
So instead of pursuing the pole, the mother of three went all-in on religion — and became a pastor. Even that, however, was rebellious in her family’s eyes.
So at first, she sacrifices her inner desires. However, she got the impression that no matter what she chooses, there is no opportunity to become “accepted” (Translation: popular). There is no easy path in life.
“I was taught that women aren’t allowed to lead and that women belong in the kitchen and with the children,” said [W], 36. “So even though it went against everything I was told, I decided to become [a pastor] because of my love for performing.”
There’s a lot of cognitive dissonance here, as we note that the first statement is a tenet of feminism (not true Christianity). But she finds some expression of her deepest desire through serving in the church. It is interesting how this quote spins her serving as a pastor as a type of rebellion, when in fact, female ministers are quite acceptable in many churches (e.g. Presbyterian and Episcopalian).
In 2011, [W], along with her now ex-husband, joined the Woodland Hills Church — an evangelist megachurch in St. Paul, Minnesota — which opened her eyes to the possibility of gender equality within the faith.
The modern church is a worldly institution that carries a paper thin veneer of the Christian religion. She and her husband failed to see how “gender equality” is a manifestation of feminism within the church — something which does not conform to God’s proscribed order. This is an important development which will come up again later in the story.
“It blew my mind,” she recalled of her first visit to the holy house. Every Sunday, [W] was the first in line to ask the pastor a question after the sermon.
She was curious and seeking for answers – How can she rectify her desires with her needs, and still find peace with God.
“One of my pastors said, ‘[W], did you realize that you’re a theologian?’ And they said, ‘We’d like you to be one of our pastors’,” she recalled. “To be on stage in front of thousands of people — that’s what I had been dreaming of for years.”
So her pastor, either purposefully or inadvertently, fed her some false hopes about how her desire for self-glorification could fit into the life of faith.
Eager to rise up the ranks, [W] — who was also raising three kids now aged, 10, 7 and 4 — snagged a spot as a weekly pastor in 2016.
She ate that up, thinking it to be the answer to her inner turmoil. Hence, in her mind, she thought it was “God’s will”. But we shall see that it was only the sense of ecstatic satisfaction that comes when an inner desire is attained.
But [W’s] true identity began to unfurl when she attended a LGBT-oriented theater performance later in 2016.
So we see, her interest in serving in her church was not based on her desire to serve God, but only to explore the “enlightenment” of feminism that cast a shadow over the church. That is, the aspects of “gender equality”, self-promotion, and now, sexual liberation — the last of which is a topic that is assiduously swept under the rug because it violates doctrine and would mar the veneer of Christianity.
“I was like, ‘Oh my gosh, I don’t think I’m straight’ and it rocked my world,” said [W], who now identifies as bisexual and pansexual. “I knew if I revealed my queerness I would lose it all because the church is not welcoming to queer people.”
NovaSeeker told me in a private message that, based on all his coverage of Ws story, he still wasn’t convinced that she was truly bisexual. She was merely being influenced by a new herd and from them she picked up a new enthusiasm. The common thread between the church herd and the LGBT herd is that they both buy into feminist doctrine. However, the doctrine of the LGBT herd is a purer embodiment of feminist ideology, and more importantly, it penetrates to the crawl of the soul seeker.
She suddenly felt as if she was living “a very duplicitous life” and struggled to keep her sexuality a secret.
So she began to see how the various norms and expectations from her family, and the limitations imposed by Christianity stand in variance to the pure doctrine of feminism. Now she is faced with a real choice – a “crossroad” if you will. She must choose between the life of faith which wages war against her mind, and the enervating soulish life of self-centeredness.
And what decision will she make?
So after giving her first widely-attended weekend sermon on July 4th weekend in 2017, [W] left the church for good.
“I just never showed up again,” she said.
She had found a purer source of defilement. Ahhh…
We are not told what happened immediately after this — all the details of her self-explorations and self-discoveries. We can only imagine the sordid events and profane experiences which sanctified her soul to sin, and the sacrifices she made in forfeiting her marriage and family.
Faced with rebuilding her life, she wondered what was next.
“I started following my life coach’s wife [on Instagram] who was doing lingerie modeling,” said [W]. “I was kind of triggered by it… but I was also magnetically drawn to it.”
The internal conflict rears its head once again — what she was taught, versus what her conscience says, versus what she desires.
[W] knew she wanted to delve deeper into her own sexual desires and signed up for a class called “Sexpress You.”
Aaaand… desire wins yet another round!
“It was all about expressing your sexy self and that was the linchpin that I needed,” said [W]. Right after, she linked up with a photographer to do her first nude photoshoot.
“I cried because I had never felt more holy and sacred in my life,” she recalled of the shoot. “I never felt more sexy and liberated than I did then.”
Weeping tears of repentance! Now her joy is complete in her salve-ation! As it is written in the hory scriptures,
“Baring thy buttocks with quivering knees is great ecstasy. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have popular attention and meretricious power in our natural state, we will be content with that.”Spoof based on 1st Timothy 6:6-10.
This photographer must have been quite a chad, for her to be “converted” so exquisitely.
Satire aside, one stumbling block in finding the Christian life is at the moment one reaches the object of one’s desires, and the thrilling fullness of the moment leads one to believe that one has had an encounter with God.
The reason she had the impression that posing nude for a photoshoot is a “holy” experience is because she is so proud and dead on the inside that this is what it takes to humble her, and for her to experience unconditional love and acceptance, among other things. Actually, there is a lot of “soul food” that comes out of this kind of experience. I examined this phenomena in a previous post, How is illicit sex related to one’s spiritual state? (2019 May 22)
Thrilled with her new calling as a stripper and erotic model, [W] launched an OnlyFans account where she posts explicit photos and videos in exchange for money.
“I started off really timid like just topless photos, but now I’m at the point where I take personal requests and make videos very tailored to people’s specific desires,” said Mitchell, who also works as a life coach and offers courses such as “How to Unf - - k Yourself” about how to be your true self. “I’m to the point where back in March I was actually going to be paid several thousand dollars to have sex with someone, and I was A-OK with that, but then COVID hit and that got cancelled.”
She gained more self-confidence from this experience.
If you want to know who or what your de facto god is, look at where you spend your time and money.
[W] relocated to Los Angeles in August 2019, and divorced her husband in June.
But today, [W] is happier than ever.
Yes, happiness is the litmus test of pure doctrinal adjudication! Just as it is written in the hory scriptures,
There remaineth therefore a convenient addiction to the women of OASIS.
Let women labour therefore to enter into that addiction, lest any woman fall after the same example of unbelief in herself.Spoof based on Hebrews 4:9-11.
The following is right out of the article.
“Every person has the right to express themselves in whatever way feels good to them and this is how it feels good to me,” she said.
And while her preaching days might be behind her, stripping, for [W], is just as holy.
“My sexuality is incredibly healing and sacred,” she said. “And when I give this gift to people, it blesses them.”
The hory Feeelz is the proof of her calling!
She fails to mention that it curses her husband and children.
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Quotes from NovaSeeker’s post, The Slow Train Wreck — a Cautionary Tale (2021 January 18)
“I didn’t know what I wanted for the longest time. … [But I learned that actually] I wanted to be rich! I wanted to serve the masses! I wanted to make a difference in the world! I wanted to feel sexy AF in my body! I wanted to be the kind of leader the world hadn’t seen yet!”.
Translation: I have found my god ordained mission – my divine life calling!
“Girls are taught from a young age to fear/hate/mistrust their bodies, whether it’s from society, religion, family. And I think I know why. The patriarchy knows how powerful a woman is in all her glory. When she sees her body as her powerful vessel, her emotions as sacred, her intuition as divine, she becomes unstoppable. And when a woman becomes unstoppable, there’s nothing she can’t be, do, or have. And that goes against the very nature and message of patriarchy (#sorrynotsorry).”
Translation: Women are divine goddesses! Anyone who says otherwise is a blasphemer.
Note that there is a reverse repentance. She’s repenting from “patriarchy”, which is a stand in for Christian morality.
“I decide to have it right now. And I make it happen. This is what it means to operate at the level of cause in life. I decide how my life goes. I decide what I want. I decide what I am worthy of. I decide what I am capable of. And I go out and make that happen.”
Translation: I am my own god!
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Knewz (Randall Ryan): Pastor-turned-OnlyFans porn star says ‘her dreams have come true’ in emotional end of year Instagram post (2021 January 1)
“I had always been part of the Church, I loved the Church and my people, and I did everything I could to fulfil my leadership calling in the Church.”
“Until I could no longer fit there, the fullness of who I was wasn’t welcomed,” [W] recalled of her pre-stripping pastor days. “I was queer, my Church didn’t accept queer people, and I had desires to express myself in ways I had never been able to. I decided to finally step into the unknown and see where it would lead me, and it led me here and I am very grateful for it.”
The Christian approach to this kind of self-discovery is to call it out as something foreign to your being (confession), and ask God to cleanse you from it (repentance). This usually does the trick of kickstarting the Holy Spirit’s process of renewal. But instead of calling out her sin, she calls out the church for condemning her sinful nature!
While [W] did indeed love her husband during her pastor days, she realized some six or seven years into their relationship that she was not fully heterosexual and needed to strip herself of the confines of matrimony.
That clause in bold is necessary, or else she would appear like a total monster.
Again, this is like a conversion but in reverse. Instead of leaving her sin behind, she leaves her church, husband, and family behind.
According to The Sun, [W] grew up in a religious military family before joining the army of online ladies evangelizing hedonism to paying subscribers on the fast-growing church that is OnlyFans.
Now OnlyFans is her “church”! (Translation: a place where she is worshipped and adored.) Even the secular news frames this as a religious experience!
Growing up in a military family, [W’s] family life was rigid and very religious with visits to the local baptist church every Sunday. So it was hardly surprising when she decided to go to university in Cedarville, Ohio, and study Bible Studies.
You’ll notice the subtle condescending connotation about religion (i.e. “rigid and very religious”).
The 36-year-old mom of three said she went six years as a young adult without having sex with a soul.
It is glossed over that she had been sexually promiscuous in high school, and yet she still chose to attend a Christian college. Cognitive dissonance abounds.
I’ve been to Cedarville College. It is Christian in name, but a lot of stuff happens after the lights go out.
“I basically started dating Jesus,” she said in an interview with Fabulous.
Something is definitely off with her understanding of theology.
“I became deeply, deeply focused on God. I stopped dating men entirely. While I had slept with guys in high school, it was terrible, teenage sex where we didn’t know what we were doing, I decided to stop seeing anyone during my time at university.”
Notice how she equates sex as a diametric antagonist of God and Christianity. Her view of sex is warped. So when she became disappointed with sex, then she thought she is getting closer to God.
Still searching for meaning? Just when it seems like she’s about to wake up, but… no…
“From a young age, I had fantasized about being a stripper,” Nikole Mitchell told the New York Post of shedding her pastor robes, and so much more, the Toronto Sun notes. “But I was indoctrinated to believe my desires and my body were innately sinful and bad.”
Yes, that last statement affirms that her mental concept of sex has been corrupted.
“I was taught that women aren’t allowed to lead and that women belong in the kitchen and with the children,” said Mitchell, 36. “So even though it went against everything I was told, I decided to become (a pastor) because of my love for performing.”
The same last two paragraphs above also appeared in the New York Post article. It seems like these trite clichés of the “bondage” of Christian “indoctrination” appear in every article. It’s another flip, mind you. Instead of decrying sin as spiritual bondage, it is now Christianity that is a bondage. They must not fail to press forth the narrative.
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And she even has a testimony of her “conversion”!
“I was the poster child for people-pleasing, perfection, and scarcity mindset (not enough time! not enough money! not enough friends!). I was exhausted. And broke. And ready for a new narrative. I knew I had a big calling on my life, and I was tired of feeling like it was just out of my reach!
To access this dream life, I had to shed layers that no longer served me. I had to own the fullness of who I was, even if it meant disappointing important people in my life. So I came out publicly as queer. I left the Christian faith. And I took a deep breath of fresh air for the first time in a long time. I was FREE! Because I was ME. That’s when everything changed in my life for the better.”Source: [W’s] About Page.
She’s still (not was) a poster child for people-pleasing, perfection, and scarcity mindset. But she’s not broke or confused about what she wants anymore.
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Rise and shine, b!tches!
…are the words emblazoned across the home page on her website.
“For most of my life, I didn’t know I had a voice. When I found my voice, I was scared to use it, and at times I’m still scared to speak up. Here in this space, however, I seek to speak my truth even when my voice shakes. In my writings and videos, I vulnerably talk about things most people are too afraid to bring up in hopes to remind people that we are not alone; in fact, it is my hope for you and me to know that we are more loved, whole, beautiful, and destined for greatness than we have dared to believe. So let’s rise and shine, bitches!”Source: [W’s] Front Page.
Now she is a virtual “televangelist”, spreading the gospel of feminism and the saving grace of OASIS to poor, lonely women everywhere, all the while lending comfort to lusty incels and their kind!
I’ll end with a quote from NovaSeeker.
“…the phenomenon becomes much more of a “thing” when it comes packaged with a set of ideas (they are not coherent enough to be called an “ideology”, per se, but are really just a jumble of empowerment ideas that are kind of a loose “ideology lite”) that make the woman feel good/right/justified/empowered/sacred/holy by what she is doing. Yoga is full of this. It takes the art of erotic self-display and makes it into something holy and sacred. W goes on and on in her claptrap (and mentioned to the NY Post’s reporter as well) that she feels that her work on OnlyFans is the most sacred acts she has ever done, and she is healing people and helping them spiritually by what she is doing and so on.
Now it’s easy for us to snicker at that and say that it’s got to be a pure grift — she can’t believe that, right? But, to the contrary, I am pretty sure she does believe it. She sees herself as fulfilling her sacred calling as a woman, embodied erotic grace and so on.
Moral of the story — women appear to be very susceptible to jumbles of ideas (ideology lite) that link together sexiness, attention, and the sacred. It appears to be catnip on steroids for women. Be very careful with it.