The Slow Train Wreck — a Cautionary Tale

What you don’t know won’t hurt you … until it does!

Readership: All
Reader’s Note: This post continues discussing The Rise of the Amateur Sex Industry (2021 January 4).  Readers may like to read this post first before continuing.

Background

You may remember the spate of news back in September occasioned by this article in the New York Post, which was subsequently picked up by many media outlets all over the world, and led to a few online interviews and TV appearances and so on, as well as quite a bit of chatter all over the internet, including in certain blogs in this general part of it.  I had not been aware that Rollo Tomassi of “The Rational Male” had actually interviewed the ex-husband in question a few months ago live on YouTube, and I recently reviewed this video, because the sheer craziness of the situation on its face is inherently interesting to attempt to understand.  

After watching that interview (which I would recommend that you all watch), I was sufficiently concerned and, frankly, disturbed that I proceeded to review the woman in question’s Instagram posts, where much of the drama was played out (as you will see below), over the course of the marriage to try to piece together how things happened, in light of what the ex-husband relates in the interview, and the version of events summarized in September’s press articles. 

That review revealed a truly disturbing train wreck in slow motion that, honestly, is quite chilling in that, while specific mistakes were made by the now ex-husband at various points in the process, could easily happen to any man.  It provides therefore a useful, if deeply and profoundly saddening, cautionary tale for men in these challenging times. 

Because of that, I am going to relate what I learned, as concisely as possible (it will be a bit long, the chronology covers a number of years) in an effort to convey the gravity of the tale.  I will not be using the couple’s actual names, but referring to them as H and W (regardless of their marital status at any point in the tale) – their identities are easily available on the internet, but there is no reason to repeat them here, or to otherwise personalize this to an even greater degree than it already has been.  For us, standing as we do at some remove from the events in question, both in time and in space, the main interest should be the cautionary aspects of the tale, and its warning(s) for all of us, and not the prurient or personal elements of it.  I will be using (general and, in some cases, approximate) dates, based on the postings that appear in Instagram and the dates referenced in the press articles and Rollo’s interview of H, because the dates are relevant for the tenor of the tale, in terms of the timing of how things happened and the overall pacing of events.

This is a continuation of the series of posts by Jack and me which address the rise of the amateur online sex industry, and the takeaways, learnings and reflections that arise from this troubling new development as well as the broader implications for men. Previous posts in the series have introduced the topic generally, and have addressed some of the specific details of the emerging phenomenon and broader social implications. Further posts following this one will address some takeaways from the specific situation detailed in this post, and the spiritual aspect of these developments, particularly from the point of view of this type of activity providing apart of an ersatz spirituality to replace traditional forms of religious expression.

A uniquely toxic brew

Preliminary Objections

Before I get into the chronology of events, I want to deal preliminarily with a couple of anticipated objections right off the bat. 

The first is the “what business of this is yours” objection.  The answer to that is that W made it our business when she made her life story public by actively publicizing it in the NY Post and several other media outlets, and by maintaining her entire history in the open and in public on Instagram.  There is no “snooping” of any kind taking place here, the information is all very public and this appears to be very much by W’s design based on what she chooses to very publicly share.

The second is “what business of this is yours” in a different way – that is, why is this relevant?  Isn’t this just gawking and gossiping?  No, it isn’t gawking and gossiping.  The information is public.  It’s relevant because the story it tells is a cautionary one that could happen to anyone, and in particular to any man, in this culture if he doesn’t recognize certain patterns, is unaware of the emergence of an entirely new set of risk parameters, or downplays the importance of certain lines being crossed.  Although the story seems extreme when looked at from the “endgame” perspective, the more one examines it, the more clear the critical transition points become, and the easier it is to see how these are warning signs of problems, even if the outcome in a “blowup” scenario may, in many cases, be different in the details from what happened with H and W. 

I won’t be posting pictures of H or W here, or direct links to W’s sites (the NY Post article link is above, as is Rollo’s interview with H), because Google is actually, you know, a thing in 2021, and I don’t think W deserves any more free traffic to her very well trafficked sites – at least not from here. 

And finally, guys.  Please do yourselves, H and everyone else a favor and do not go off to W’s Instagram and peruse it.  I’m not being facetious, but serious.  It’s not good.  It’s corrupting.  I spent most of my time there on the old posts trying to get a sense of how things used to be for H and W and then watching things unravel as I scrolled up and through the years towards the present day, but there is a lot of corrupting pornesque trash I needed to scroll through in the recent posts to get there, and even doing that is corrupting.  Just don’t go there.  I go into enough detail here for you to understand what you need about that place – it’s best avoided in order to avoid the near occasion of sin and the related temptation.

Setting the Stage

According to H, H and W were both Christians in their 20s teaching abroad after college in Korea when they met.  H had graduated from a large secular university, but was raised “mainstream” Christian, while W, who is biracial (Asian/white) had attended a small Christian college, and her parents were mainstream baptists (not fundamentalists), with an Asian influence from one parent as well.  Neither were N=0 at the time they met, and from what H says to Rollo and what W has said elsewhere, their Ns seem to have been fairly average for the period in which they were of that age range — neither higher nor lower than average.  They met in a group context and eventually paired off, and then were engaged in a number of months and married later that year, in 2009.  W was 25 and H was 28 at the time, so somewhat “ahead of schedule” according to the “average age at first marriage”, but still a few years post -college for W.

H and W proceeded to live a conventional married life for a number of years.  They had three kids, in 2010, 2013 and 2016, lived a suburban lifestyle, attended a Christian megachurch in Minnesota and, by all appearances, were an average young Midwestern Christian family.  They struggled at times financially, as young couples sometimes do, but nevertheless lived a seemingly satisfying and decent life for a number of years. 

The Curtain Opens

W’s Instagram begins in the summer of 2014 (W=30), six and a half years ago, and five years into the marriage, or “M+5“.  When the curtain opens, what we see is simply a typical personal Instagram feed of someone who is a suburban wife and mother in her early 30s, with two small kids.  The photos are mostly of her small kids, with a few interspersed here and there of H and W, of food and rooms in the home, events and trips with friends and family.  All bog standard normal American family life for a young family with small children.  Quite endearing actually – while H and W were not a “beautiful people” Hollywood-style couple, they were an attractive young couple, if frazzled as is the case for young parents, and the whole impression is of a typical, yet loving, hectic family life. 

This general trend continues for several years, with only a few small, barely noticeable changes taking place here and there.  This starts, albeit very slowly at first, in 2015 (M+6, W=31).  2015 starts with an endearing New Year’s evening post of a young couple that looks settled, happy, and very much in love. A change of W’s hairstyle from long and traditional to a shorter, more contemporary/sexy bob style cut, is notable in the middle of the year, but otherwise the IG continues to be fairly typical for a suburban wife and mother of 2 young kids – that is, the pictures are mostly of kids and home, with a few of H and W smattered in.

In 2016 (M+7, W=32) some more significant changes begin to filter into the Instagram feed, where we see W getting her first tattoo, and another post that is a preview of coming attractions of sorts, where W talks about touring a mansion in California and openly envying the luxurious lifestyle of people with money who live in Southern California.  But otherwise it’s still mostly posts featuring kids, family events and home.  Notably, in the fall of 2016, W begins to give occasional lectures at the megachurch she and H were attending at the time – H explains in his interview that W was never a pastor at the church, and never had an official position, but she did preach and provide pastoral assistance to women in the church for a time from late 2016 to the events of 2017, which we will turn to next.  The Instagram posts around this time reflect W’s excitement at the opportunity to command an audience, something that H discusses at some length in his Rollo interview. But still, during this period there still seems to be a lot of genuine closeness and love between H and W, sincerely expressed in several posts.

The Year Things Really Started to Change

In 2017 (M+8, W=33) things begin to change much more noticeably.  Several things start changing more or less about the same time, and it begins to show up in W’s IG posts. 

One is that W is speaking and preaching before audiences more at her church.  W’s posts about this in the summer of 2017 are interesting in that they reveal her clear excitement at playing the role of an inspirational speaker before an audience and, more generally, holding an audience’s attention.  She clearly is very energized by it, and loves the energy.  2017 also sees W begin a graduate course in some kind of self-help/motivational/preaching area at a seminary.

Another significant change at this point is that the proportion of IG posts that feature pictures of W alone steadily increases during 2017.  The IG stream no longer is as focused on kids and home life, and has a lot more photos of W alone, taking selfies and, as the year progresses, doing professional photo shoots.  In late 2017, W posts the first professionally shot photos on her Instagram.  These are all normal posed pictures, fully clothed, not sexual in nature and so on, but nevertheless it is the first rubicon that is crossed – namely going to the trouble to hire a professional photographer and a professional makeup artist (both of whom are mentioned in the post itself), and sharing this on Instagram.

During the course of the year, more selfies of W alone appear as well, and again while these are not sexual in nature or revealing, they are notable in that these kinds of selfies simply did not appear, at all, in W’s Instagram feed prior to 2017 – in that sense they are a change, for H and especially for W. 

From my perspective, it appears likely that during this period, W was beginning to enjoy attention and compliments on her appearance on Instagram, and that this likely drives the posting of more selfies and mirror pictures of W in her feed.  It’s also clear that W is getting more noticeably “Instagram attractive” (i.e., for selfie photos) during this time.  She is changing, slightly but notably, in her physical appearance through gym work, she is wearing more alluring, “popping” makeup (particularly following her professional shoot), and overall she is looking noticeably more visually attractive in her normal selfie pictures in 2017 than she did on her Instagram feed previously.  Something seems to have changed inside W during this period, and it is expressing itself in her appearance, as reflected on her Instagram in the pictures she is choosing to make and to share, and being reflected back at W in the reactions to these from her followers and viewers.  Both of these — the making/sharing and the reactions – are working to change W over the course of this period, it seems to me.

One small step for a woman, one giant step for a marriage
(note: this is not W; as noted at the outset there are no pictures of W in this series of posts)

Also during 2017, we see the text in W’s Instagram posts significantly change.  Where previously it had been the normal kind of thing one sees in personal family Instagram feeds, the text now starts to feature, in some posts, motivational self-help claptrap about pursuing one’s dreams at all cost, rising and thriving, having it all without sacrifice and so on. 

There is a new ideology that is clearly coming into play here.  We know from W’s own admission and from what H confirms to Rollo, that it’s in 2017 that W says she discovered that she was LGBT (bisexual) after attending a play which contained portrayals of LGBT relationships (presumably one between women). We also know that during the 2016-17 period, W was being influenced by writers such as Glennon Doyle (the suburban Christian mom and published writer who very publicly left her husband to marry USAW soccer star Abby Wambach), who actually shows up in W’s feed a few times during this time.  W appears to have seen her realization of her own sexual orientation as a turning point of her life, and H seems to agree that it was, in that after her self discovery, she began to adopt a new way of relating to the world, a new worldview.  I will discuss what I think this is in my subsequent post next week regarding my own ideas about what we can “take away” from the tale of H and W.

Changes Accelerate and Spread

As we move into 2018 (M+9, W=34), the pace of change in W becomes dramatically faster, and it is clearly reflected in her Instagram. 

By the middle of 2018, W is posting text in her feed about how she is becoming who she was always meant to be, and not doing what everyone else expected her to do, and so on.  The proportion of posts that are selfies and/or posed shots of W steadily increases over the course of 2018 until, by year’s end, 80%+ of the posts are selfies or posed shots of W, and this in an Instagram feed that was, only a year or so earlier, comprised 70% of photos the couple’s children and only 10-20% of pictures of W and H.  The “preaching and public speaking” posts from 2017 disappear entirely — as we know from H’s interview with Rollo, at this time, H and W stopped attending church in the wake of W’s discovery of her bisexuality, something H now appears to rue, although in hindsight, as far as I can weigh things from reviewing the Instagram feed, a different decision on that issue almost certainly would not have made a significant difference in the eventual outcome by this stage of the proceedings.  

At the same time, the images in the Instagram feed are getting more openly alluring and sexier.  In part it’s because W’s clothing is changing – in the direction of sexier, tighter clothes, bare midriffs, short shorts, very high heels, and much more sexual makeup, with heavy eye makeup in particular – none of which was common prior to 2017, or further back in time even present at all, on her Instagram.  The texts in her posts during this period are typically about “letting go of the past, living in the present, following your dreams”, and she describes herself as a “series of miracles unfolding”, with such texts typically attached to alluring photos.  All of these things are gradual escalations of things that were already happening in 2017, which is why taken individually they were likely unremarkable given what 2017 had brought.  But taken together they reveal a rather swift transformation taking place inside W during the second half of 2017 and into, and through, 2018.

If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck …
it’s probably a duck

2019:  Rushing Towards the Cliff’s Edge

But if 2018 was the year of swift underlying transitions, 2019 (M+10, W=35) was the year of clearly crossing unmistakable lines again and again.

The first such crossing happens in early 2019 when W, apparently preparing for a beach vacation with H, posts a picture of herself trying on a bikini top in a dressing room mirror, otherwise wearing skin-tight jeans, high heel boots, and a lot of makeup.  It’s the first picture in her feed where this much skin is showing in an alluring way, and the adjoining text is quite telling:  “when you find a swimsuit top that makes you feel adorable and badass at the same time”.  It’s quickly followed in the Instagram feed by several pictures in said bathing suit on said trip – the first so revealing pictures ever on W’s Instagram feed.  This happens during the winter months of 2019.  These are not posed sexual pictures, to be sure, but beach photos on the vacation; nevertheless, the second main rubicon has now been crossed – that of sharing truly revealing photos on Instagram, where most of W’s body is made available for permanent viewing by anyone on the internet.

Developments accelerate to near breakneck speed after this rather significant line is crossed.  H relates in his interview with Rollo that as the following months of 2019 were unfolding in real time, he felt like he was experiencing PTSD, like the walls were pressing in on him.  W is moving to places she clearly wants to go, and she seems to have a clear plan, direction, focus, and goals, and H seems to be only peripherally in them, to the extent he doesn’t get in the way. There isn’t direct animosity of any kind directed toward H personally, or the marriage, in her feed as far as I can see — it’s more the case that W has some very specific ideas about what she wants to do, and intends to do these, regardless of anything else in her life.  W’s internal train seems to have already left the station for a new destination, so to speak, and it doesn’t take very long for the next line to be crossed.

Off we go, into the wild blue yonder …

That happens when, in the summer of 2019, just a few months after the beach trip, W posts professional shots of herself in lingerie, and pro makeup, while displaying herself on a bed.  The lingerie appears vaguely bridal, and her wedding band is featured prominently.  This is followed a few days later with the following text adjacent to another shot in the same outfit: 

“I didn’t know what I wanted for the longest time. … [But I learned that actually] I wanted to be rich!  I wanted to serve the masses!  I wanted to make a difference in the world!  I wanted to feel sexy AF in my body!  I wanted to be the kind of leader the world hadn’t seen yet!”. 

A few days later, we find a sexy b/w professional shot of W in very provocative clothes, with the following text attached: 

“Girls are taught from a young age to fear/hate/mistrust their bodies, whether it’s from society, religion, family.  And I think I know why.  The patriarchy knows how powerful a woman is in all her glory.  When she sees her body as her powerful vessel, her emotions as sacred, her intuition as divine, she becomes unstoppable.  And when a woman becomes unstoppable, there’s nothing she can’t be, do, or have.  And that goes against the very nature and message of patriarchy (#sorrynotsorry).” 

And again a few days later, next to another professional white lingerie shot: 

“I decide to have it right now.  And I make it happen.  This is what it means to operate at the level of cause in life.  I decide how my life goes.  I decide what I want.  I decide what I am worthy of.  I decide what I am capable of.  And I go out and make that happen.”

During this time, H tells us in his Rollo interview, life was basically living hell for H.  Things which started in what he thought was a harmless way had now escalated to the point where his wife’s Instagram feed, which had for years featured mostly pics of small kids and family events and get togethers, had “progressed” to the point where his wife was posting, on an almost daily basis, exclusively material consisting of clothed-yet-nevertheless-borderline-pornographic pictures of herself, alongside bromides about female sexual expression as empowerment, patriarchy, finding what she really wants, chasing her dreams and the like.  The pressure becomes too much at some point, and he confronts W.

The marriage predictably imploded in the following period.  H describes it as being a case of him having blown things up, because they could not agree on a basis to continue.  From my vantage point, it seems to me that W had a clear vision of what she wanted to do:  she wanted to make a lot of money (there are numerous Instagram posts where she talks about how much she loves money, how much she wants to be rich and live a rich lifestyle and so on), and she wanted to monetize her sex appeal to do it, as well as running a life coaching gig on the side featuring the kind of snake oil empowerment nonsense that had been running alongside her posts in Instagram for the past several months of 2019.  Although H also doesn’t discuss this in his interview, my own impression of W’s Instagram is that she may have been open to staying married but it would only be on her terms, and it would in no way, shape or form be permitted to interfere, impede, limit or restrict anything she wanted to do, either personally, or to make money, based on what she determined herself that she wished to do, in order to satisfy her desires and follow her dreams. 

Obviously that is no basis for a marriage, so the couple decided to separate and then, later on in 2020, divorce.  H does say in his Rollo interview that subsequently W has told H that she doesn’t think that the marriage could have lasted in any case, because they simply wanted different things, and things that were not compatible.  I think it’s more the case that W wants things that are not compatible with any kind of marriage, at least not to 90%+ of people who are interested in marrying at all (there are always outliers who have strange arrangements).  W moved out of the house and relocated from the Southwest, where the family was then living, to Southern California.

Epilogue

After this, the changes in W’s life, at least as reflected in her Instagram, have seemingly continued to accelerate. In October 2019, W started an OnlyFans page.  In late 2019, a month or two after the separation, the latest (I do not assume the final) rubicon is crossed:  a particularly poignant, and for her husband painful, I am sure, post from November of 2019 features W’s first nude Instagram post (her forbidden-on-Instagram parts are covered by the pose and her arms, but she’s in the buff), alongside a picture of her from 2009, alone in a wedding dress. The accompanying text remarks how this is her first professional shoot (i.e., where she was paid to shoot it, as a model), which is taking place roughly ten years after her first in life professional photo shoot (presumably for her own wedding pictures), and waxes poetic about how grateful she is for having developed and grown and evolved since that time, and how she feels “way more confident, free, and embodied” and about how “the true [W] finally emerged from all the layers that were placed on her all those years.”

W’s Instagram after this point becomes racier and eventually raunchier seemingly by the day.  As I note in the cautionary words at the outset of this post, I am not a social media person, and I do not peruse Instagram and Twitter on a regular basis – I dip into them when someone links me to this or that, but I do not review them regularly and so while I am generally familiar with what they feature, I do not have detailed knowledge of how far they have generally gone, and so I was rather shocked by some of the content I was scrolling past in the recent posts from 2020 (M=over, W=36) on the Instagram feed. Suffice to say, as far as I can tell, the images on her Instagram appear to be the same as that of any woman who works in the porn/sex industry.  Unless one scrolls down, a lot, like I did to learn what happened historically in her former marriage, one would never know that this woman used to be a bog standard normal Christian, suburban wife and mother, and only a few years ago this same feed was filled with typical cellphone pics of kids and cakes and family outings and the like.

And then it dawned on me, as I was reflecting on the takeaways for the rest of us regarding this shocking and disturbing story. 

What if the line between one and the other – that is, between normal Christian suburban wives and mothers, on the one hand, and women who slide into the world of electronically disintermediated amateur sex work, on the other – is really much thinner, and much more porous, than we dare to think?

As I note at the outset, in the interests of space, and of readers’ time, the takeaways from this unfortunate tale will be taken up in a subsequent post in this series to be published in the coming days. Pending that post, let me say before closing that I think that this terribly sad story is humbling in many ways, precisely because of the sheer normality and averageness of the main players. It really is something that could happen to anyone in today’s cultural climate and atmosphere, with the changes technology is making available to everyone, and the very new challenges this poses due to the new opportunities that are being made available for various kinds of mischief.

At this stage, and again before getting into the takeaways post, I think it’s appropriate to offer prayers for H, W and their young children in the wake of the events described above that God may grant his gifts of repentance, humility and strength to everyone all around.

This entry was posted in Asia, Attraction, Boundaries, Choosing A Profession, Churchianity, Clothing, Convergence, Courtship and Marriage, Culture Wars, Discernment, Wisdom, Evangelism, Female Power, Feminism, Homosexuality, Identity, Influence, Internet Dating Sites, Leadership, Manosphere, Maturity, Personal Growth and Development, Media, Models of Failure, Moral Agency, Personal Presentation, Protestantism, Relationships, Sexual Authority, SMV/MMV, Solipsism, Therapeutic Moralistic Deism, Vetting Women. Bookmark the permalink.

42 Responses to The Slow Train Wreck — a Cautionary Tale

  1. cameron232 says:

    First reaction (probably impulsive one but that’s my Scots-Irish blood) is he should have pulled her panties down and taken a belt to her bare ass. If this was one big shit test he would have passed it with flying colors. If not, he would have gone to jail (three hots and a cot) and, thus, gotten out of the burden of single-fatherhood.

    One problem in our society is that too many men give a fuck.

    Like

  2. lastmod says:

    Obviously H didn’t “vett” his future wife properly. If he had sone so, he would have known this was going to happen. W liked the attention she was getting from the start. Even with the kiddie pics and homelife of a “average christian family” (if such a thing even exists today).

    There was something else too that probably drove W to this more and more……..H wasn’t satusfying her in the bedroom, was dumping fully responsiblity of the children on her, and probably made her ask permission to breathe. W probably could have used a day off now and then. You know, H make breakfast on Saturday….let her sleep in for a few hours……watched the kids. I am sure that didn’t happen. Know plenty of christian men who don’t life a finger for anything their wives may want or need in a marriage. Maybe I am wrong. Who knows. Most christian married women with children look haggard, tired, and awful……the ones who don’t look like this have a man who indeed understands marriage and love

    Like

  3. Oscar says:

    This reads like an extreme version of Scott’s description of watching a marriage disintegrate on the wife’s social media feed.

    Girls are taught from a young age to fear/hate/mistrust their bodies, whether it’s from society, religion, family. And I think I know why. The patriarchy knows how powerful a woman is in all her glory. ~ W

    To be fair, there absolutely is power in women’s sexuality, just as there is power in men’s strength, ambition, and capacity for violence. No one denies that. The wise recognize that power left unharnessed, and undisciplined, is destructive. But, fools “know better”.

    When she sees her body as her powerful vessel, her emotions as sacred, her intuition as divine… ~ W

    In other words, she is her own god.

    … she becomes unstoppable. ~ W

    Certainly, no one can stop that train wreck.

    And when a woman becomes unstoppable, there’s nothing she can’t be, do, or have. And that goes against the very nature and message of patriarchy (#sorrynotsorry).

    Yeah. That’s the problem we have in the West. Too much masculinity.

    Proverbs 14:1 The wise woman builds her house,
    But the foolish pulls it down with her hands.

    Liked by 6 people

    • Oscar says:

      I forgot one thing.

      #sorrynotsorry ~ W

      The unrepentant are unforgiven.

      Liked by 3 people

    • Scott says:

      If you have married couple friends on social media, the timeline/trajectory is fairly predicable. She starts posting pictures of her and her friends at bars, etc. The husband gets mentioned less and less. Pictures of “friends I haven’t seen in years.” Husband just thinks its a phase. On and on.

      Next thing you know, they aren’t married anymore.

      Liked by 3 people

  4. cameron232 says:

    “What if the line between one and the other – that is, between normal Christian suburban wives and mothers, on the one hand, and women who slide into the world of electronically disintermediated amateur sex work, on the other – is really much thinner, and much more porous, than we dare to think?”

    Wonder how many don’t do it simply because they’re not attractive enough to pull it off.

    In a real cynical mood today.

    Liked by 4 people

    • Novaseeker says:

      Wonder how many don’t do it simply because they’re not attractive enough to pull it off.

      More likely it’s still new (although that’s changing fast). I do think it’s becoming more common, albeit unevenly and slowly. Jack had the story last week about the former school teacher in NYC who is on OF now, with her husband’s consent apparently. It is spreading.

      I think the “good looking enough” threshold is lower than we think. Many of the women aren’t classically beautiful or as good looking as celebrities or even the typical woman who works in professional pornography. They’re “average attractive” — that is, women who are attractive in “normal social circles” (really attractive women tend to move in more limited social circles to begin with), but not historically attractive enough to make a living based on their looks. They can now do so on OF, because OF is selling precisely that — peeks at “normal attractive” women — the kinds of women that men are attracted to in their normal lives, but that they don’t get to see. Now they can, thanks to OF. This is the basis of the OF market, really.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. thedeti says:

    What if the line between one and the other – that is, between normal Christian suburban wives and mothers, on the one hand, and women who slide into the world of electronically disintermediated amateur sex work, on the other – is really much thinner, and much more porous, than we dare to think?

    It is thinner and more porous.

    The average normal Christian suburban wife and mother of the 2010s and 2020s started out as a young woman whose first sexual experience happened in high school (not necessarily P in V sex) and who gave up her virginity to a boyfriend before age 20. She had another boyfriend and maybe a couple of other sexual experiences and relationship false starts before getting married in her mid to late 20s. She dated her husband for a couple of years and had a lot of sex with him before they got married.

    She also has no problem posting photos of herself on social media in form fitting clothes, revealing clothes, and flattering clothes, and sometimes in swimsuits. Always showing herself having lots of fun, with and without her husband and children. And she gets lots of “likes” and other slobbering responses to her pics. Most of her friends are doing much the same things. Around 25 to 50% of these women will cheat on their husbands.

    We have all repeatedly pointed out that what primarily held Marriage 1.0 and prior SMPs and MMPs together, and made them work, was restraining female sexuality. This starts as loosening the constraints on women’s conduct, starting with women’s ability to wear what they want anywhere they want (including at Church), then girls nights out, then girls vacations to Vegas. Then they post what they want on social media, and communicate with whom they want using social media, away from husband’s knowledge. Or if he knows generally what W is doing, he doesn’t know the full extent of it. And H can’t say anything about it or object or restrain her in any real meaningful way, because him doing so is backward and chauvinistic and patriarchal and limiting and abusive. She also has other women, and even pastors, egging her on.

    Conventional social media and the attention these women will get at church and elsewhere, are the “gateway drugs” so to speak.

    Another thing that comes to mind is that the amateur sex work OASIS phenomenon is exactly why everyone saw fit to restrain female sexuality, and keep it behind closed doors, and keep it limited to certain contexts. Because when you just let women do what they want and tell even husbands that they don’t get a say in this, your “average suburban housewife and mother” will do this, starting with clothing choices, then GNOs, then social media involvement. It’s the virtual equivalent of the gaggle of college coeds hanging out at the bars and dancing suggestively – it’s attention getting. Women of all ages and belief systems love it.

    Liked by 5 people

    • thedeti says:

      And the church looks the other way or even encourages this. First, most women at church, including married women, under 50 are doing this. Second, men at church, especially pastors, are terrified of saying anything about this or confronting it, because they know what happens – they get called sexist and misogynist. They get ganged up on. The aggrieved women report their pastors to their bishops. They leave. They stop volunteering and tithing. They use cancel culture: They post lengthy diatribes on social media, and self recorded videos on social media and YouTube about so and so pastor’s “misogyny” and “sexism” and “hatred”. All it takes is one of these to go viral, and that pastor’s career is over.

      Most pastors have drunk feminist kool aid anyway, so many times this isn’t an issue. If she’s doing this, Family Life Today and Focus on the Family explain it by asserting it’s because her husband isn’t paying enough attention to her or is being mean to her. “The only reason married women act like this is because their husbands are not leading them or loving them. Their husbands are failing at servant-leadership.” It isn’t a moral failing on women’s part, to most pastors. It’s husbands’ fault.

      Liked by 5 people

      • Oscar says:

        Civilization needs to tame two forces in order to thrive; male aggression, and female vanity.

        Contrary to popular opinion, American culture (the Church gets most of the credit) has done a great job at taming male violence. With a few notable exceptions, most of the US has very little violent crime. Most years, over half of American counties have a murder rate of zero.

        By contrast, American culture (the Church gets a lot of the blame) has done an absolutely abysmal job of taming female vanity. In fact, it’s actively encouraging female vanity.

        Obviously, a lot of men are making matters worse by feeding attention whores’ addiction. In that, the MGTOWs have the right idea; starve the beast by denying it male attention.

        Liked by 6 people

    • thedeti says:

      This continues because women are always absolved of any moral responsibility, and in most cases, people create moral justifications for women’s social media conduct and OASIS work.

      Liked by 3 people

    • Sharkly says:

      She also has other women, and even pastors, egging her on.

      That’s my story too. My marriage would have been much better if I had never taken my wife to any church. They basically taught her that women can do no wrong, only men are ever at fault. If women do somehow sin it is something super minor, whereas if a man sins, it is automatically a horrible hate crime that excuses anything anybody will ever possibly do to him.

      Liked by 2 people

      • Oscar says:

        I can sum up the typical “Christian” marriage counseling session in three sentences.

        Everything is always the husband’s fault.
        Nothing is ever the wife’s fault.
        The solution to every problem is for the husband to behave more like a woman.

        Liked by 5 people

  6. Ame says:

    thedeti
    1h ago
    Conventional social media and the attention these women will get at church and elsewhere, are the “gateway drugs” so to speak.

    interesting thought … and accurate.

    what are the ‘gateway drugs’ to OASIS?
    motive, means, opportunity.
    – a rigid upbringing with legalistic rules with no grace or reason, rigid college, liberal seminary, liberal church that worships attractive, articulate women (think a fat, ugly woman with the same gift of speaking would have the same opportunity?!).
    – desire to know and be everything to everyone (that i desire to be known and important to).
    – a world with no boundaries that worships engaging women. the ability to set her children aside to tone her body and to distribute her body for praise and money behind the veil of a computer.

    Ton often said that all women are whores – they either have sex with one man for 100% of his money, or with 100 men for 1% of their money. with this medium, they can get 1% of their money from millions of men without ever meeting them irl.

    it’s the same old story with a contemporary twist.

    Novaseeker did a great job outlining this progression. James 1 says that once sin is conceived, it must give birth, and it gives birth to death. the gestation period varies. so many deaths in this woman’s life already, and she hasn’t even reached the pinnacle of this destruction. if/when she ever has her eyes opened, the guilt and shame will be so heavy only God will be able to save her, if she will allow Him to.

    i think parents, especially, need to understand that these seemingly innocent internet social spaces, like IG, are potential ‘gateway drugs.’ we need to understand the base nature of women, and men. we need to teach these things to our children. we need to know what’s going on in their lives and what they’re being taught in school.

    can’t tell you how many times i asked my daughters, “How do you know that?” and they replied, “Mom, I went to Middle School!”

    Liked by 2 people

    • thedeti says:

      Yeah, parents need to understand what you mentioned. But the cat’s out of the proverbial bag, and it’s not going back in anytime soon. Christian women benefit greatly from feminist gains. Women can claim Christ but act like feminists, and have premarital sex, and everyone covers for them and justifies it and creates entire false theologies to make it OK and something they don’t have to repent of. There’s a very large segment of the converged Church that really does believe premarital sex is not a sin. Or they are OK’ing the sin of presumption, which is “well, it is a sin, but when you stop doing it, it’s OK because God will forgive you. So go work it out of your system and then repent.”

      I guess they forget the whole “today is the day of salvation” and “repent for the kingdom is at hand” thing. John the Baptist was not saying “repent someday” or “repent when you’re ready” or “repent when you’ve decided the sin thing ain’t working for you”. It was “repent now”.

      The point is that Christian women are very much in popular culture. Women are very much encouraged that participating in popular culture, all aspects of it, is perfectly OK and no impediment to a Christian life.

      Liked by 7 people

      • Ame says:

        The point is that Christian women are very much in popular culture. Women are very much encouraged that participating in popular culture, all aspects of it, is perfectly OK and no impediment to a Christian life.

        absolutely. this has been going on for a long time, and now we’re seeing the ‘fruit’ of that.

        these girls are the ones raised with mama’s telling them they were ‘sexy’ when they were toddlers b/c they looked cute. christian, catholic, church-going mamas … hummm . . .

        Liked by 2 people

  7. thedeti says:

    Something else occurred to me:

    When women are sexually unrestrained, they will always find a way to get male sexual attention. (Being married does not mean a woman is sexually restrained. It just means she made an agreement with a man for him to provide for her and for her to provide for him. It does not mean a husband has a legal claim on her sexuality, though it used to.)

    Women will always find a way to exchange their sexuality for resources – either through

    — selling their bodies as prostitutes or escorts

    –sugaring as prostitutes lite

    –foodie calls where they get men to take them out for meals

    –going on dates and getting men to pay for fun and entertainment and gifts

    –getting boyfriends for free dates and protection and status

    –getting husbands and the concomitant legal claim on everything he has – time, labor, provisioning, money, attention

    Liked by 4 people

  8. bee123456 says:

    Husbands no longer have any power. If he puts his foot down, society and most of the church will condemn him as abusive. The police and courts using the Duluth model will say he is abusive, possibly violent.

    Liked by 4 people

    • Oscar says:

      One who receives responsibility without authority is set up for failure. One who receives authority without responsibility becomes a tyrant.

      Liked by 7 people

    • Novaseeker says:

      It’s true.

      I will go more into this in the takeaways reflections post, but I think if H had confronted W earlier, like around the time she was questioning her sexual orientation, he had a chance to move the needle. Of course, she can always accuse of abuse, but he still blew up in the end over the lingerie pics anyway — he didn’t avoid blowing up at her, but it was delayed to a point where the game was over by the time he did. Of course it’s easy to see that with our hindsight — it almost certainly was very difficult to see in real time.

      One of the real challenges is recognizing if your spouse is coming up with a new narrative for themselves that changes, in effect, who they see themselves as being. If they do this, and the new narrative gets entrenched, it can (and typically does) lead to them directly second-guessing their decision to be with you.

      The question they ask themselves is this: “If I knew then what I know now, in terms of who I am, who I am meant to be, what I want from my life, would I have chosen to marry this person at all?”.

      That’s the danger zone for any marriage, so the key is being able to discern if that kind of a “new self narrative” is coming into formation, and confront it at that time, before it becomes entrenched in the person. Once it becomes entrenched, and that question is asked of themselves and answered (usually in the negative), your chances to dislodge the new narrative are basically zero because they have already concluded that you are “the wrong person for them, and always were, they just didn’t know themselves well enough to see it” … it’s done at that point, in truth.

      Again, hard to see in real time, easier to see in 20/20. But if you do happen to see any signs of a new self-conception, a new self-narrative emerging in your spouse, be very concerned, very careful, and very intentional about handling the situation in real time. If nothing else, you have a confrontation earlier, when it can still make a difference. It may still blow up the marriage, but there is also a chance that it will not, by moving the person off their track of fundamental redefinition in a way that excludes you and the marriage. If you wait until it gets entrenched, by contrast, you have basically no chance at that point to move them off the track, because the redefinition has already happened and is entrenched. You’re done at that point, pretty much no matter what you do.

      Liked by 2 people

      • Oscar says:

        One of the real challenges is recognizing if your spouse is coming up with a new narrative for themselves that changes, in effect, who they see themselves as being.

        Kind of like my Army buddy whose wife has transformed herself into an internet yoga guru. I don’t mean a yoga instructor, or a yoga teacher. That basically amounts to teaching people how to stretch and gain flexibility.

        I mean a yoga guru with all the vague, nebulous, “no judgement”, “inclusive”, self-help, hippy “spirituality” that appeals so much to Western women. And, on top of all that, according to my buddy, she’s making a damn good living at it, too.

        Seems like bad news.

        Nova: other than the difficulty of seeing incremental change, what do you think motivates men to overlook this behavior.

        What do others think? Because, seriously, I can’t imagine approving of my wife showing off her body to the world. I can’t wrap my mind around that thought.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Novaseeker says:

        Oscar —

        Seems like bad news.

        Yeah. I assume, like many of the yoga girls, that involves her being on full display in pictures and so on? It seems like that’s a core part of yoga — looking hot and toned in skin-tight clothing, and displaying yourself in poses that show off your hot, toned physique in very sexual ways.

        Nova: other than the difficulty of seeing incremental change, what do you think motivates men to overlook this behavior.

        What do others think? Because, seriously, I can’t imagine approving of my wife showing off her body to the world. I can’t wrap my mind around that thought.

        I think there’s a lot of pressures involved.

        One set of pressures is the “everyone is doing it” issue. Yoga has become as common as dirt among women under 40 (heck, I’d say among women under 50). 20 years ago, it was more of a niche thing — now it’s like going to the bathroom: pretty much every woman who is in shape does yoga. So you can’t object to the yoga per se — as you say, it’s about fitness and flexibility and muscle toning and so on. And everyone is doing it, more or less, who is a fit woman.

        So then, after that, it becomes all about incremental changes and drawing lines in real time. Do you see how that happens? I mean once the behavior is established, in principle, the only thing you are left with is drawing lines, and when you are in that position, you are kind of on a tree limb where you have to monitor what is happening, look for signs of problems and be very vigilant, but not so much that you’re paranoid, controlling, suspicious, and so on. You’re already on the tightrope, once she starts getting more heavily engaged in the activity, and you get easily boxed into a place where you get so used to the activity that you don’t notice the incremental “escalations” in real time, one by one, but only notice once they are all accumulated together, when it’s far too late to unwind them.

        It’s hard to prevent because — are you going to say “no, you can’t do yoga”? No, you’re not. So no matter what, you’re already on the tree limb. It’s understandable why most guys opt not for the hypervigilant approach because they end up looking like sh1tlords and it leads to other problems anyway in many cases. The entire problem is created by a fitness industry that has normalized a hypersexualized activity at the core of women’s fitness — and there’s no easy way out of that for men. It’s a trap. If there were an easy way out, more men would find it.


        I mean a yoga guru with all the vague, nebulous, “no judgement”, “inclusive”, self-help, hippy “spirituality” that appeals so much to Western women. And, on top of all that, according to my buddy, she’s making a damn good living at it, too.

        W in the story above is like this. Not so much from yoga itself (although I am certain she is involved with yoga and its ideas have an influence as well) but from her self-help snake oil claptrap. I have read a lot of what W has written on Instagram and what she has said there in her video clips on IG and so on — it seems clear enough to me that W believes the claptrap herself. That is, it isn’t a cynical grift — she believes the malarkey she’s selling, so she’s able to be authentic when she peddles it, because she herself is a true believer in it.

        I actually think this aspect is a key element of understanding the phenomenon. That is, the phenomenon becomes much more of a “thing” when it comes packaged with a set of ideas (they are not coherent enough to be called an “ideology”, per se, but are really just a jumble of empowerment ideas that are kind of a loose “ideology lite”) that make the woman feel good/right/justified/empowered/sacred/holy by what she is doing. Yoga is full of this. It takes the art of erotic self-display and makes it into something holy and sacred. W goes on and on in her claptrap (and mentioned to the NY Post’s reporter as well) that she feels that her work on OnlyFans is the most sacred acts she has ever done, and she is healing people and helping them spiritually by what she is doing and so on.

        Now it’s easy for us to snicker at that and say that it’s got to be a pure grift — she can’t believe that, right? But, to the contrary, I am pretty sure she does believe it. She sees herself as fulfilling her sacred calling as a woman, embodied erotic grace and so on. Similar to your buddy’s yoga guru wife — she also believes her own claptrap I am sure.

        Moral of the story — women appear to be very susceptible to jumbles of ideas (ideology lite) that link together sexiness, attention, and the sacred. It appears to be catnip on steroids for women. Be very careful with it.

        Like

      • Oscar says:

        Now it’s easy for us to snicker at that and say that it’s got to be a pure grift — she can’t believe that, right? But, to the contrary, I am pretty sure she does believe it.

        I’m convinced that they (both W and my buddy’s wife) do believe their own BS. In fact, I think it’s similar to what Scott says about “sticking the landing”. It’s a lot easier if you’re rich and good looking.

        I think both W and my buddy’s wife believe their own BS because it “works” for them. And, because it “works” for them, they can tell other women, “see? I can do it! You can do it too! Pay me to teach you how!” What they leave out is that their BS “works” for them because of a very specific set of circumstances.

        My buddy makes a six-figure income, and their three kids are in school. His income provides his wife with ample free time to pursue her hobby, which she was eventually able to monetize. Plus, she’s a very attractive woman, the type that looks like she’s never been pregnant, much less given birth three times. I suspect W is similar.

        Very few women can pull that off, especially in their 30s.

        It’s hard to prevent because — are you going to say “no, you can’t do yoga”? No, you’re not.

        Not to personalize everything, but my wife and I banned yoga from our house because of its connection to Eastern mysticism. But, okay, let’s set yoga aside for a bit.

        Suppose a man’s wife decides to lose weight after having kids. She starts lifting weights, doing cardio, and eating healthy.

        Nothing wrong with that, right?

        She starts sharing her progress on Instagram. At first, it’s innocent – a PR set in the gym, a new weight loss goal met, etc. But, then she starts wearing tighter, more revealing clothing at the gym and in her posts. She starts wearing makeup, and making sure her hair is looks just right during her workouts.

        At some point, wouldn’t it make sense to tell her, “Honey, I don’t like you wearing that sports bra / yoga pants / booty shorts / whatever in front of anyone but me”?

        Moral of the story — women appear to be very susceptible to jumbles of ideas (ideology lite) that link together sexiness, attention, and the sacred. It appears to be catnip on steroids for women. Be very careful with it.

        Huh. Where have I heard that before?

        2 Timothy 3:6 For of this sort are those who creep into households and make captives of gullible women loaded down with sins, led away by various lusts, 7 always learning and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth.

        Social media makes it a whole lot easier to “creep into households”.

        Liked by 2 people

      • Novaseeker says:

        Plus, she’s a very attractive woman, the type that looks like she’s never been pregnant, much less given birth three times. I suspect W is similar.

        Very few women can pull that off, especially in their 30s.

        W is like that, sans the income from H. H apparently never made that kind of money, which appears to have been an additional motivation for W to make money with her body (she wanted to live a rich lifestyle, one way or another), so things can whipsaw around, I think, depending on the circumstances. But, yes, W does not look like she has had three kids. However, it also has to be said that the percentage of women who are “pulling this off” is increasing due to improved fitness, nutrition, skin care and lifestyle knowledge. A greater percentage of women in the late 30s look like that than ever before in history. Same in the 40s. It’s still a minority, but the percentage is growing and it likely will continue to do so because women have realized that they can, with a lot of effort, stay “hot” well into midlife, and that this translates directly into money and power for them, personally. It’s a true siren-song. W is more attractive now, at 36, than she was at 30, when she started her Instagram, and it isn’t a very close call.

        Not to personalize everything, but my wife and I banned yoga from our house because of its connection to Eastern mysticism. But, okay, let’s set yoga aside for a bit.

        That’s great and an excellent approach, and one more Christian husbands should follow. I am sure you are aware, though, that most of the guys at church haven’t done that vis-a-vis their wives. We live in an age where it pays to be an outlier and do such things, it’s true, but when we are trying to understand the behavior of others, I don’t think we should expect others to behave as outliers do — most people do not do that, in any context.

        At some point, wouldn’t it make sense to tell her, “Honey, I don’t like you wearing that sports bra / yoga pants / booty shorts / whatever in front of anyone but me”?

        In theory, yes, but in practice being able to do so, as a practical matter, depends on the entire dynamic of the relationship to that point, the degree of influence the husband has in general on his wife’s actions, her willingness to curtail herself, and so on, because he would be asking for something that is very outlier in our culture, even for Christians, even for “conservative” Christians.

        Like

      • cameron232 says:

        Just keeping her perpetually knocked up and/or breastfeeding will probably reduce the probability of her being OnlyFans quality as well as limiting the time and freedom for her mischief. As a bonus, you get a baby to hold every other year or two.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Oscar says:

        That’s great and an excellent approach, and one more Christian husbands should follow.

        Thanks, brother.

        I am sure you are aware, though, that most of the guys at church haven’t done that vis-a-vis their wives.

        Good point. In fact, I once attended a church that advertised a women’s yoga class… at church!

        In theory, yes, but in practice being able to do so, as a practical matter, depends on the entire dynamic of the relationship to that point, the degree of influence the husband has in general on his wife’s actions, her willingness to curtail herself, and so on, because he would be asking for something that is very outlier in our culture, even for Christians, even for “conservative” Christians.

        Which bring us right back to Bee’s comment about authority, doesn’t it? Because, if she comes back with, “and what are you going to do about it?” There’s not much he can do, is there? And, he knows it. Which is a pretty good deterrent to ever having that conversation, isn’t it?

        Until it becomes absolutely intolerable for him, and he blows up at her, which sounds like what happened between W and H.

        Which then brings us back to conversations about vetting future wives, vetting their influences, vetting their environment, etc.

        Funny how that works.

        Liked by 2 people

      • Oscar says:

        @ Cameron

        Just keeping her perpetually knocked up and/or breastfeeding will probably reduce the probability of her being OnlyFans quality as well as limiting the time and freedom for her mischief. As a bonus, you get a baby to hold every other year or two.

        So, you’re saying that I’m doing it right….

        Liked by 3 people

      • Novaseeker says:

        Which then brings us back to conversations about vetting future wives, vetting their influences, vetting their environment, etc.

        Funny how that works.

        Ultimately it’s all you can do, I think, yes. That and hope for the best.

        Like

  9. cameron232 says:

    One thing that seems weird but then again I’m not a woman. Your kids will know that you’re a ho, could easily see video proof that you’re a ho. You’d think that her kids knowing she’s a ho, possibly seeing her acting like a ho would be enough to keep her from doing this sort of thing but obviously not. Just because you rationalize your ho-ness away doesn’t mean your kids will. The husband shouldn’t sugar coat it either when discussing it with them.

    My guess is that she’s not particularly psychologically invested in her kids to do this sort of thing. There’s a lot of really mentally ill women in our society. If you get one who isn’t, never stop praising God for your blessing.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Novaseeker says:

      It’s worse than that.

      She didn’t create a new Instagram for her “professional activities”. She uses the same Instagram she always has — the one I looked at to create this post. In other words, to be more plain about it — her kids are on the same instagram as her softcore IG pics are. The same feed. And she uses her real name as well.

      And she is always talking about her kids on her IG as well, how much she loves her kids, there are kid videos from around Christmas time on her IG “story” feed, and so on. It’s all mixed in together, nothing is separated out. I am sure she isn’t “creating her content” in front of them, but parents don’t have sex in front of their kids, either, generally — otherwise it’s “business as usual” for W.

      This seems odd to me as well, but then again you have the story that Jack posted last week about the special ed teacher from NYC who has kids and is on IG — everyone knows who she is, too.

      The world is changing, at lightning speed. I mean, lightning speed.

      Remember, as recently as 5 years ago, it was a given that the phrase “some women have penises” was basically troll-bait. Today, deny the “truth” of that phrase and you get marched to HR, stat. We live in a very “dynamic” environment in terms of the pace of change around sexual issues right now, and this area is one of the ones where changes are happening with lightning speed at the very present moment.

      Like

      • cameron232 says:

        Well that’s concerning but also an indication that she’s a way out there looney toon.

        Like

  10. bee123456 says:

    Similar story from 2013: Married couple with 2 young kids, attend a Pentecostal Church and appear to be Christians. W is age 33. W develops an online affair with a guy from Turkey. She decides to fly to Turkey for solo vacation to meet guy, probably try to commit adultery. Husband begs her not to go. He has no social leverage, she goes anyway, gets murdered in Turkey.

    https://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/widower-s-mom-killed-turkey-finds-love-friend-article-1.1707836

    It was a different article that talked about husband begging her NOT to go on a solo vacation.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oscar says:

      This much more recent case popped up in the news.

      https://abc13.com/alexis-sharkey-strangled-homicide-death-investigation-instagram-influencer/9814106/

      HOUSTON, Texas (KTRK) — Alexis Sharkey, a 26-year-old woman who moved to Houston in January 2020 and was known for her Instagram presence, was strangled, an autopsy report revealed Tuesday.

      Her death has been ruled a homicide.
      ………..
      Sharkey had a large following on Instagram, with more than 20,000 followers on the platform. According to friends, she was a mentor with a hair and skincare company called Monat.

      As for her husband Tom, he did end up talking to ABC13, explaining that he did everything in his power to find his wife.

      Smashing the patriarchy isn’t working out quite like these women were promised.

      Liked by 1 person

  11. feeriker says:

    My guess is that she’s not particularly psychologically invested in her kids to do this sort of thing.

    Of course not. Modern women view their kids as props, a means to an end, tools to be used to extract resources or whatever else they want. The kids have no intrinsic value outside of that, and thus their overall wellbeing is of no real concern to Mom. This is why women who’ve kicked their children’s fathers out of their lives and go on to shack up with boyfriends who abuse the children continue to do so, even when they know about the abuse. If what Mom is getting out of the relationship is sufficiently valuable to her, then the kids will just have to suffer.

    There’s a lot of really mentally ill women in our society.

    Godless, hedonistic lifestyles and worldviews inevitably lead to mental illness, along with spiritual death. We know that this affects “Christian” (i.e., churchian) women as well as professed non-believers because few Christian women (or their husbands) are truly born again or lead the lives of Christ followers.

    Liked by 2 people

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  14. redpillboomer says:

    “From my perspective, it appears likely that during this period, W was beginning to enjoy attention and compliments on her appearance on Instagram, and that this likely drives the posting of more selfies and mirror pictures of W in her feed. It’s also clear that W is getting more noticeably “Instagram attractive” (i.e., for selfie photos) during this time. She is changing, slightly but notably, in her physical appearance through gym work, she is wearing more alluring, “popping” makeup (particularly following her professional shoot), and overall she is looking noticeably more visually attractive in her normal selfie pictures in 2017 than she did on her Instagram feed previously.”

    This describes what I’ve seen happen as well to some ‘Christian’ females I know. I posted earlier about one married Christian woman that I know, and her Instagram pics progressing along these very same lines. The attention/validation they are getting appears to be super addictive to them. It’s like they say, “More, more, and more….ATTENTION please!!” They seemingly can’t get enough of it once it starts to pour in. I think this is what my married Christian female ‘friend’ and this lady have in common. All roads, at least early on during this slide down the slippery slope, seem to lead back to this one thing–attention; until it becomes about attention AND money. Once the money starts flowing, the clothes start coming off and the pics get increasingly revealing. Don’t be surprised to see H’s ’empowered’ ex-wife spreading wide in a pic eventually…and then after that the dudes begin to join her in the pic sets to really spice things up. Then she’s ‘super empowered’….until it all comes crashing down somewhere down the line, and she wakes up and remembers what she had with H, her kids and her suburban mom Christian lifestyle. Might take quite awhile with her being what, 36 now? Hmm let her get up into her early to mid-forties and then let’s see how things are going for her.

    Liked by 2 people

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  19. lastholdout says:

    It seems to root in her predisposition to deception. As the head of the relationship, the man is to help his wife avoid the error to which she is predisposed. That’s as close to a “savior” as he can get. Namely, to help her avoid her inclination to follow Satan’s deceptions and doing his bidding by rationalizing the choices she makes that oppose her husband, or even God. Eve rationalized eating the forbidden fruit. Genesis 3:6 calls out her three reasons for taking and eating it: “When the woman saw that the tree was good for food, that it was pleasing to the eyes and a tree desirable to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate; and she gave to her husband with her, and he ate.” Hamstering goes back to the Garden of Eden.

    Like

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