Because it’s the best cost per benefit option – or so it seems.
Reader’s Note: This post continues discussing The Rise of the Amateur Sex Industry (2021 January 4). Readers may like to read this post first before continuing.
In this series, prostitution is defined as the sale of either (1) sexual services, (2) faux relationships (calculated by the hour, number of messages, etc.), or (3) personalized, self-produced, sexually titillating media content — for cash.
Length: 3,230 words
Reading Time: 11 minutes
To answer the eponymous question, I’ll go after the question of why male thirst is skyrocketing, and how the Online Amateur Sex Industry and Socialization (OASIS) sates this desire.
Speaking of the end times (which I believe we have been living in for the past century or so), Jesus said,
“And because lawlessness will abound, the love of many will grow cold.”Matthew 24:12 (NKJV)
The author of Timothy reiterated Jesus’ words.
1 But this know, that in [the] last days difficult times shall be there; 2 for men shall be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, evil speakers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, profane, 3 without natural affection, implacable, slanderers, of unsubdued passions, savage, having no love for what is good, 4 traitors, headlong*, of vain pretensions, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God;2nd Timothy 3:1-4 (DARBY)
* Headlong is an old English adjective translated as brash and impulsive.
The idea in these passages that I want to point out is that those who are fallen (including both men and women) are devoid of natural affection. And as the years roll on, there is an ever growing segment of humanity who fall into this description. Yet, their own need for love and affection does not abate in the slightest.
In fact, the human desire for love and affection is, in itself, quite natural and good. But when subjugated to the continual deprivation of the same, human beings only grow more ravenously desperate and depraved.
Men hope to fall in love with a woman, and to discover a deep soul bond with her. However, women who have been indoctrinated by feminism and/or despoiled by the SMP are wholly unable to offer such an experience to men. Yet, the decline in the supply does not reduce the demand in the slightest, but instead, it only exacerbates it. So modern men are strongly driven to go hunting for such an experience, and will find a small measure of contentment in whatever they might find, even if it is merely a fleeting sentimental imitation.
So going back to the question, why does a man drink from the OASIS? There is no need to point out the obvious answer – utterly desperate male thirst during the most severe sex drought of the modern era. Guys who can find a satisfying relationship with one woman aren’t going to risk that by fooling around with online sex, and Chads who have good options with multiple women view the online transaction as somewhat juvenile. However, there are plenty of men left who are not in either of those categories, and there are a few other reasons not related to raw sexual desire.
With this in mind, let’s review a number of other reasons that have been offered by several commenters about why men are drawn to the mirage of the OASIS. I’ve compiled these reasons into four basic flavors:
- It’s a pragmatic alternative to the failed SMP/MMP.
- It’s smooth and easy.
- The personalization fits the fantasy.
- It’s a throwaway option.
The Failed SMP/MMP Drives Men to Alternate Sources
TheDeti concisely described the debacle of the modern Marriage Marketplace.
“You can’t have a functional marriage marketplace where the objective has a 50% failure rate, where the risks are enormous compared to the paltry benefits, and where one party (the man) will bear almost all the costs of failure.
You can’t have a functional marriage marketplace where the man bears all the burdens and obligations and gets no benefits; and where the woman reaps all the benefits with no concomitant burdens or obligations.
You can’t have a functional marriage marketplace where the man can’t get the one benefit he’s supposed to get [only] from marriage (regular, decent, non-resentful, non-grudging sex at reasonable intervals from a woman who actually wants to give it to him), but you still demand that he bear all the burdens and obligations.
You can’t have a functional marriage marketplace where the demand for sex vastly outstrips the willing supply, and where the suppliers refuse to provide that supply.”
The thing is, the Sexual Marketplace (SMP) has converged with the Marriage Marketplace (MMP). For the past 20 years or so, men are finding that they can’t get break into the MMP without first succeeding in the SMP. This is an accumulated consequence of the sexual revolution, and is no less the case among Christians, unfortunately. The OASIS fills in the blank left by the modern MMP by offering men a back door into the SMP, even if only a virtual one. This practical improvisation, however, does not usually lead to marriage. It only gives men an immediate relief, and the false sense that they’re making some advances in their sexual lives.
For many men, this is the “best” they can do, given the present condition of the SMP/MMP.
It’s Smooth and Easy
My previous post, Why is the online amateur sex industry attractive to women? (2021 January 6), described how smooth and easy OASIS is for women. Similar to how OASIS gives women all the benefits without all the hassle, OASIS does the same for men, but for different reasons.
The OASIS offers a convenient, privatized transaction. A man would consider a one-time expense to be preferable over the constant pilfering and unexpected on-the-spot demands for cash that are typical for having a wife or girlfriend in tow. On this, Deti said,
This is men doing what they need to do to get sex or facsimiles/imitations thereof. They used to have to take women on dates at great cost of time and money. Now, they do porn/camgirls/OF, and the more affluent get lite prostitutes, er… sugar babies.
It is also somewhat predictable. The transactional nature of subscribing to an OnlyFans account carries an implicit guarantee that the man will get something reminiscent of the thrills he wants and expects from a woman.
Thus, a man can break into the SMP without having to involve himself in the responsibilities and headaches of having to engage in a real relationship with a woman. No disrespect, no approach anxiety, no fear of rejection, no auto-rejection, no buyer’s remorse, no ghosting or flaking, no Gaslighting, no $ћit tests, no mind games, and probably not much Bulverizing. If he so wishes, he can get to “know” a woman (in the Biblical sense) without any of his family or friends’ knowledge.
Furthermore, he can avoid all the cut throat competition of the SMP. This means that he doesn’t need to develop his career, improve his social skills, work out at the gym, hammer out game techniques, spend money on a looksmax wardrobe, or do any of the other things that would make him more attractive to women.
The importance of being able to avoid the fear of competition, comparison, and/or rejection cannot be understated, because for most all men, this is the biggest hurdle that blocks their entrance into the SMP. Namely because, as mentioned in the intro, modern women can be very unloving and unforgiving. If the man is ostensibly sub-par in her haughty opinion, she’ll cut him off at the knees for no good reason at all. In fact, this is how women maintain preselection.
Case Study: Robert Kraft
Joe2 gave us a poignant anecdote.
“You may recall the high profile case of New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft and 24 other men who were charged with paying employees of a massage parlor to perform sex acts. The charges were eventually dropped, but the women involved reached plea deals and paid fines. Authorities take the soliciting of another to commit prostitution seriously and will prosecute.
On the other hand, the payment to a sugar baby is strictly for her time and companionship, as may be stated in any agreement involving the transfer of money to her account. What actually rakes place (sex) between the sugar baby and her sugar daddy is between two consenting adults and not related to the transfer of money.”
If Kraft had spent $800 an hour to see an internet escort, you and I would never know about it, but instead he chose to opt for a $100 BJ at a massage parlor that was already being chased by the cops. As is often the case with the wealthy, they can be incredibly, and surprisingly, cheap when it comes to some things, and in this case it cost him some reputation. It would have been better for him to pay a little more money in order to have a “smoother” transaction.
Cameron232 asked a good question that paddles up the effluent river.
“I get why men pay for actual prostitutes (sad and sinful as it is) but why do they pay for online viewing? If you have internet access, you’re 0.13 seconds away from nude pics and videos of girls for free. It’s been that way for 25 years now.”
They pay for online viewing because it’s personalized. OF, camgirls, premium pornsites, and even pornstars now are personalizing things for viewers. Paying subscribers get perks that the “free” subscribers don’t get, and most of it has to do with personalized content. They have preferred viewers, and give “prime” and “exclusive personalized content” to paid subscribers.
Yes, it’s basically “fake, paid dating”. If a woman can offer a convincing spiel, enough to make a man feel like it fulfills his fantasy, then this is good enough for those men who are lonely and desperate. The selling point is in fleshing out the fantasy. Men’s fantasies might be any of the following…
- Being treated right by a woman.
- Getting a taste of (faked) female respect.
- The ego stroke of having the companionship of an attractive and polite female.
- The confidence of interacting with an attractive woman whom he knows won’t reject him (at least not during that date).
- The humbling yet exhilarating experience of falling in love.
- Simply just having beastly rutting sex with a woman who’s paid to smile and not grimace.
Whether or not the woman can fit the fantasy all depends on how well the girl “hustles” with her honeycraft skills. The girl who is effective at this basically plays a feminine personality “role” that she developed/invented which is alluring, sexy, fun, educated, and so on. Those with an acute aptitude for Machiavellianism can conjure up a personalized mythical backstory that is quite elaborate and interesting, and she can carry this persona in an authentic way for a long time. More often than not, these characteristic roles buy into the Headship relational model, simply because that is the God-ordained default design which men can ease into most comfortably.
The best hoes tailor their persona and interactive style to the men they are dealing with such that they can be quite effective at “reeling in” the male customer.
The ideal goal from her perspective is for the guy to get taken in by her act so completely, that he becomes a püssy whipped repeat customer who is a reliable source of cash. Of note, this is an inversion of the male-female sexual authority that is characteristic of a God honoring Headship structure.
She knows that they both know, on some level, that it is all a temporary act, and that the whole thing is premised on her being paid such that if the money goes away, so does she. But within that “suspension of disbelief” within the time and space allotted, a girl who is good at the act can create a very convincing impression of a relationship that blows away his preconceived fantasies in some fashion or form.
This simulacrum of a relationship is what makes fishing in the OASIS fundamentally different from watching another man swimming in a porn video. He might actually catch a fish!
Some men might be naïve enough to think they can nurse an online relationship until it develops into a real relationship. Knowing the grace of God, I’m sure there are a very small number of couples who do find true love at the OASIS, but this is the ultra-rare exception. For the vast majority of cases, men are not naïve enough to think that they can pay a woman to fall in love with him, and that expectation never enters into the picture. Men simply want to worship flesh and get their rocks off.
If you think about it, you can see why regular guys would opt for an OnlyFans hookup instead of p0rnography, and why men of greater means who are looking for paid companionship would choose a Sugar Baby over a hooker. It isn’t because it’s real, but because it feels real — again depending on how good the chick is at what she is doing. And some are much better than others at being a credible fake girlfriend.
Online Sex is a Throwaway Option
In some ways, a man can be his true self much more easily in a false relationship, simply because there is no ego investment in the outcome. He can allow himself to trip up and play the fool simply because “it doesn’t really matter” one way or the other. Having the opportunity to “fail” and still be “accepted” can actually build up a man’s confidence.
Also, there is the sexual aspect. Since time immemorial, men have sought after sources of immediate sexual relief which carries a minimum of responsibilities and consequences. This sentiment has been captured by various artists and actors throughout modern history.
“I want a lover who won’t drive me crazy. Someone who’ll love me, and then go away.”“I need a lover”, by John Cougar Mellencamp (YouTube)
“You don’t pay wh0res to come, you pay them to leave.”Various sources in the acting industry.
For these reasons, prostitution has always been regarded as one of the best options for throwaway sex. Online prostitution is even more advantageous for all the reasons already discussed, namely because it is convenient, sanitized, and the male clients can be just as discreet as the Insta-Wh0res themselves. Hence, OASIS meets the primal needs of men quite sugardipitously.
There are many pros and cons about the advent of OASIS.
I can see a couple upsides to the greater participation of women in OASIS.
- Women can have the opportunity to learn what men actually like and are attracted to in women.
- Women are motivated to learn what men want and how to serve men’s physical and emotional needs because this can increase their income.
Women getting better at being feminine might appear to be a good thing for men, but remember, these lessons come at a great cost to her holiness and worthiness for marriage.
The positive aspects for men are as follows.
- Men are incentivized to get a job and earn money (or more money), so that they can pay their OnlyFans tallies and their Insta-Wh0re girlfriends/sugar babies.
- The subjective and immediate gratification relieves the incessant and d@mnable burning, which in many cases can allow a man to think clearly about his life.
- If a man can get some experience with a “professional”, then this eases his fear of rejection and increases his confidence.
- The overall experience ushers him into a new understanding of how to relate to women in a more efficacious manner.
The negative aspects of this approach include the following.
- The idolatry of wimmin worship, AKA pedestalization.
- It’s a petri dish for lust and possible fornication.
- The impressions on his psyche and soul create a standard by which he compares all future relationships. This soul moulding is a harrowing curse for the women involved, causing them to become jaded, truculent, distrustful, and psychotic, even within a very short time frame.
- Because the relationship is false, it may give men some false notions about how to handle a woman. Namely (from what I’ve heard), hoes want to be treated like a hoe, and they respond positively to Dark Triad Gamey methods of interaction. But identifying and melding with a marriage-worthy woman requires a different mindset and spiritual disposition.
If the woman is exceptionally beautiful and skilled in her Honeycraft and Machiavellianism, then the experience takes on a new degree of smoothness by an order of magnitude. It is also more tempting and dangerous to his soul for the same reason, and others listed above.
On this, NovaSeeker wrote,
“It’s different from watching a video because, again, if the girl is good at what she does, it can feel real to the guy, and that makes all the difference to him in terms of how satisfying the experience is.”
“Sugar babies work on the same principle. Why would a guy pay a sugar baby college/grad student $2,000 a month to see her 3-4 times in that period, when he could see 2 or 3 hotter “pay by the hour” hookers for the same cash, and get hotter girls and more variety, and “on demand” service? It’s because with the sugar baby he is having a fantasy relationship. A talented SB doesn’t act like a hooker. She acts like a “secret young girlfriend” or “protege” or “personal assistant” or whatever kind of fantasy the (almost always older) guy seems suited for, and she plays that role when she is with him. She holds his hand in public, they visit museums and restaurants on fake dates, and they have sex a few times a month. In between, they text, she treats him with a modicum of respect (which is more precious than gold to a man), she doesn’t ghost, flake out, or cut him off. Although she may have some basic rules about how much of her time and texting goes into the deal, most SBs are good at doing this in a way that, too, feels organic and not overly fake.
The money flows monthly in a venmo and feels less transactional because it’s completely decoupled from the in-person meetings, which as noted, flow like “normal” dates.”
As you can see, taking the back door into the SMP can set a man up for either a lifetime of wh0remongering (which is condemned in scripture, 1 Corinthians 6:9-10; Galatians 5:19-21; Ephesians 5:3-5; see all verses) or else, severe disillusionment should he ever repent and attempt to attain a God glorifying Headship. Because the former is so much easier, smoother, and immediately gratifying, it is rather unlikely that he will find the latter.
All in all, OASIS is very bad for both men and women. It will be interesting to see how this plays out over time.