It depends on whether we think sex is dirty or holy.
Elspeth left a lengthy comment under the post, The Motivation of Desire (2020 December 1). I covered most of this comment in a previous post, 3 Things that make Women Tick (2020 December 11). But there was another part of her comment which I’ll cover here.
In all sincerity, I hope to honor Elspeth by drawing attention to her testimony as a Christian wife.
There are many men who are married to women who are not regenerated, and who have no interest whatsoever in Headship, redemption, etc. Christian men would greatly benefit from being able to identify which women can be regenerated from those who can’t or won’t. It might help us to understand what’s going on with this.
The main point of my earlier post, The Motivation of Desire, was to identify one factor, desire, that those women who experience redemption have in common. As far as I can see, desire, in some fashion or form, is an intrinsic vector that would lead her towards humility and carry her towards redemption. She must desire it, or else, she must desire something else that would eventually get her moving in that direction (e.g. having children, being loved and cherished by a man, etc.). There needs to be a distinction, because there are many things a woman can desire that are a dead end in terms of her spiritual regeneration and emotional maturation (e.g. earning a degree, pursuing a career, banging Chadwick Edcad, etc.).
The same dynamic applies for men, although the respective sets of desires would be uniquely different.
Of course, none of the above takes into account spiritual dimensions when dealing with a Christian woman of sincere faith, and that’s where this post went wrong. It gave a cursory nod to the power of redemption, but mostly framed everything in terms of sex. I get why. I am married to a red blooded guy, after all. But either a woman can be regenerate and redeemed or she can’t. And if she can, then she is capable of keeping her legs shut, choosing a righteous man, and learning how to grow in all the areas (emotionally, sexually, and spiritually) under his leadership.
I am not ignoring the power of God in transforming a woman or a marriage. It’s just that this doesn’t happen “automatically” within marriage.
One might read several posts on this site and, like Elspeth, come to the conclusion that the main theme is sex. In reaction, one might think that this is merely an emphasis on the flesh, rather than on the Spirit. If this site only posted photos of scantily clad temptresses and stories about how to get laid, then I would have to agree. But instead, I regard the issue of sex to be an important characteristic of human nature that we men must learn to master, so that it does not master us.
Leaving the reality of a transformed heart out of it (or subordinating it to tingles and libido) does not only Christian women a disservice, but it mostly does God a disservice.
Concerning the necessity of having a transformed heart towards regeneration, I agree. But OTOH, I also think it does God a disservice to dismiss the important role of sexuality in attaining sanctification and establishing a God honoring marriage and a God fearing family. Sex is innately connected to sanctification and Shalom, and it cannot be overstated that both of these are extremely important to God. The reason why sexual sin is forbidden to Christians, is because it destroys both sanctification and Shalom. We as a culture have forgotten this truth, and this ignorance has led to our utter decimation.
Look around. Because of widespread sexual immorality, women have jaded themselves and are unable to feel any visceral attraction towards the man they eventually marry. Not only does this undermine the husband’s authority, thereby eliminating the glory of God that is associated with Headship, but it also creates enormous disillusionment, disappointment, and marital dissatisfaction, and thereby eradicates any sanctification and Shalom that would have otherwise occurred in marriage.
This has a cumulative effect on the children, who grow up in an emotionally tense, dysfunctional, or broken home, and never experience God’s glory through their parent’s relationship.
Denouncing illicit sex and abortion is not enough. Criticizing Feminism, egalitarianism, and complementarianism is not enough. We, as a culture, must return to God’s prerogatives of sanctification and Shalom, or else we will face His wrath and be wiped from the earth. Look around, this is already starting to happen.
When we return to the Lord by establishing Headship in our marriages and thereby teach our children to reverence the Lord, we will receive the deep soul healing we need to be free from our profligacy and corruption (Deuteronomy 4:23-31).