The Enigmatic “Right Time” Phenomena

A topic the Manosphere has never sufficiently explained.

Note: This post is an exerpt from the previous post, Things I Learned About Women in College – Section 4 (2018 April 4).

What Determines the ‘Right Time’?

There is this weird ‘Right Time’ phenomena.  It might be due to a biological clock of some sort, or it might just be how humans get something in their heads, which they tend to act out.

Women especially, have this notion of, ‘it’s the right time’ to do something, and this isn’t well understood, even by themselves.

When they feel it’s the ‘Right Time’ to start being sexually active, then they just start being sexually active, and they’ll do it with whatever guy happens to be in their life at that moment.  It doesn’t really matter much who the guy is, as long as he serves the male function in her life (and bed), and he doesn’t revile her ego in the process.

Even the Tingles are not a significant motivator, although they often serve as a catalyst.  For example, Stacey gets the Tingles for Chad, but she can’t bed Chad, so she does John instead.  But John can’t sustain her Tingles, so she doesn’t respect him or take him seriously.  As soon as she meets Rob, the Tingles strike again, and that makes her grow irritated with John and branch swing to Tom.  But Tom cannot tingulate her any better than John could.  Repeto itero, ad nauseam, et cetera.  (It’s a recursive process that I have seen happen sooo many times… This is why female sexuality is so heavily regulated in patriarchal cultures, and also why sexually liberated women despise patriarchy.)

And then, when women feel it’s the ‘Right Time’ to get married, then they just get married, and they’ll marry whatever guy happens to be in their life at that moment.  Again, it really doesn’t matter too much who the guy is, as long as he seems to be ‘marriage material’, and is somewhat disliked by her parents.  I guess it wouldn’t matter at all who he is, if she’s only going to strip him of all worthy assets, and then dump him when the source dries up.  Here also, the Tingles are not a significant motivator, although they serve as a catalyst.  This also has well known, catastrophic consequences, such as affairs, cuckolding, frivorce, and legalized kidnapping.

This phenomenon stands in contrast from reports I’ve heard about many other women who say they are looking for ‘the one’.  I haven’t met many of those.  But I will conjecture that ‘the one’ in those women’s fantasies is merely a mythical creature of their imaginations, as mentioned before, someone who accelerates their Tingles past full throttle – an entirely fictionalized fantasy with no useful purpose other than to validate their ego.

Why is the ‘Right Time’ always the ‘Wrong Time’?

The thing that made me confused (and resentful too), is that the ‘Right Time’ for women to have sex, always happened long before the ‘Right Time’ came for them to marry.  I came up with the following reasons why this might be.

  • It is a selfish desire for satisfaction, and an inability to delay gratification, coupled with low moral convictions, and no social consequences surrounding sexual activities.
  • General immaturity, and an associated inability to accept the responsibilities involved with a mature relationship and sex.
  • They all got waylaid by Satan’s deception, on an industrialized, mass production scale.

What is Going On?

So just what is this ‘Right Time’ phenomenon?

Exit Question: What do you think causes the ‘Right Time’ phenomena?

Related

About Jack

Jack is a world traveling artist, skilled in trading ideas and information, none of which are considered too holy, too nerdy, nor too profane to hijack and twist into useful fashion. Sigma Frame Mindsets and methods for building and maintaining a masculine Frame
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15 Responses to The Enigmatic “Right Time” Phenomena

  1. cameron232 says:

    Strictly from observations, I saw a lot of young girls wanting a relationship (I think they imagined it would be permanent) at the age of 17-19. I wonder if this isn’t a natural age for women (psychologically healthy ones anyway) to marry. Maybe there’s a natural instinct to be bonded permanently to a man a few years after the onset of estrus – an instinct that says to her the clock is ticking.

    I don’t know if women reach a particular time when they decide it’s now time to have sex. They reach a time when they want a man – they say yes to a guy who asks- and of course they have sex- the guy is often (but not always) the one who pushes that. Maybe I’m naïve and don’t understand how it works in the 21st century.

    The right time is, on average, at a younger age for girls that come from abusive homes, fatherless homes, etc. r-strategy is environmentally influenced.

    Liked by 4 people

  2. redpillboomer says:

    Another element is FOMO-Fear of missing out. Way back when I was in High School, the ‘fear’ for the girls was that they were going to graduate a virgin without having had sexual intercourse-hand jobs, diddling maybe, but no penetration yet. At least a healthy percentage of them probably did graduate virgins, certainly the 5s-7s, but that first year in college, they eliminated that ‘stigma.’ I knew one in college, she lost her virginity freshman year at a frat party, and then felt bad about it. She had a strong Christian upbringing, church youth girl type. By spring semester, she was on what passed for the Carousel back then. I estimate she fucked four more men at least during spring semester (making the rounds of the Greek party scene); so she ends her freshman year with an N-count of at least 5. Who knows what it looked like three years later. When I met this girl in freshman year first semester, she was a pretty girl with a decent figure, probably a 6-7, wore dresses, light make-up, a classic, wholesome, attractive girl next door type. By her senior year, tight jeans showing the outline of her camel-toe, low cut shirts with push-up bras, heels you name it- a Chad magnet for pumping & dumping. Sad. When I met her I think she would have made a good future wife, but feminism was making it’s early in-roads back then, and the famed ‘mrs. degree’ was fading out in favor of a post-graduate career and riding the CC.

    Liked by 6 people

    • Novaseeker says:

      By her senior year, tight jeans showing the outline of her camel-toe, low cut shirts with push-up bras, heels you name it- a Chad magnet for pumping & dumping. Sad. When I met her I think she would have made a good future wife, but feminism was making it’s early in-roads back then, and the famed ‘mrs. degree’ was fading out in favor of a post-graduate career and riding the CC.

      Yes. We all saw much of the same in this generation I think. It was when the real change happened.

      But it’s understandable what they were doing, I think. On the one hand, the herd mentality had its impact — other pretty girls were doing the same, so they did it because that’s what the other pretty girls were doing, and it makes women feel safe when they know they are behaving as other similarly situated women are doing. On the other hand, because the expectation had shifted away from earlier marriage in favor of later marriage (not as late as today generally but moving in that direction), it made sense for pretty girls to chase Chad in the hopes of jackpotting one of them into a commitment and winning the grand prize of life for a woman — living the romance novel script of flipping the cad for real. After all, they had the time to do so (no marriage pressure) and they had the social approval to do so (even pressure to do so in some circles) as well and … worst case, they still got some attractive boyfriends out of it to feed their egos and compare with other women as the months stretched into years during the “finding myself” (in the beds of various men) 20s.

      Men shouldn’t be too quick to criticize this, I think. I mean on the one hand we can easily criticize it morally, and we should do. But I think it’s easy for men to fall into a kind of visceral criticism of it, not realizing that if men had nearly the same fornicative opportunities as women do, they would be swinging from the chandeliers, most of them. The reason why it’s the women doing it more than the men (as a percentage of the total) is lack of opportunity for the men, not better decision making or morality, in truth.

      Liked by 1 person

      • cameron232 says:

        Yes. There’s also the reality that they’re in an arms race with each other to get male attention through how they dress. There’s a scene from the original black and white version of the movie “Cheaper by the Dozen”, the beach scene, where this is shown. The clothes (beachwear) they used to illustrate this were much more modest than today’s but the truth was there.

        Liked by 1 person

      • JPF says:

        if men had nearly the same fornicative opportunities as women do, they would be swinging from the chandeliers, most of them.

        I can’t comment for the general population, although I suspect this statement is true.

        For myself and my most respected male friends from church however, this is false. I have had relationships go sour and end because I would not take what was sexually being offered. And those were with “church girls”, including one that was 15 years old at the time.
        As written above, the women do want sex. Maybe not with a particular man, but they do want it if shown the right man. Or maybe even just a man that is there and available.

        Like

  3. Novaseeker says:

    A good deal of it is also influence from the peer group.

    As men we often overlook this, because we are more lone wolf oriented and much less impacted by peer group behavior than women are — look at fashion, for one obvious example, of which there are many others. Women are tremendously influenced by what women in their peer group are doing and feel mentally/psychologically distressed if they are at odds with it for an extended period — they either find a new peer group or succumb and behave as the peers do, generally. So if all women are starting to sleep around, most women will do so. If all women around that age are marrying, most women will do so (and conversely if most in their peer group are NOT marrying at their age, most will NOT do so, either …). If women in the peer group start divorcing … we know where that goes.

    There is a group dynamic among women that we often miss as men because it doesn’t influence us to anything close to the same degree as it does them.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Scott says:

    “What determines the right time?”

    I don’t know but it sure is fun when they pick you for it!

    Zing!

    Like

  5. Scott says:

    I’m going straight to hell

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Ed Hurst says:

    In my experience counseling in churches, I’d say there is no simple answer. On the one hand, peer pressure can adjust the timing and what kinds of things they do, but most females experience it even out in isolated areas. I believe opportunity can be a major factor, but culture is by far the biggest.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. When I was in grad school they went over the biopsychosocial model of pain. That is to say that many different factors such as biology, psychology, and sociology play a role in how you experience pain for better or for worse.

    I’d expect a similar phenomena to apply here. Biologically the ticking hormones and womb clock. Psychologically how desperate she is getting. Socially what her nearest peer group is doing such as if she’s one of the last ones or getting pressured by her friends and family.

    The breaking point seems to be different for each individual woman, but most women’s breaking point appears to be right before they hit 30, 35, and 40 as those tend to be a bunch of the landmark ages where biology is starting to get stronger and stronger, and they psychologically and socially can’t handle the pressure. They decide that if that’s the best they can do at that certain point then do it, even if it makes them unhappy. The gains of the status of being married, possibly not as “ostracized”, and having a kid will outweigh whatever unhappiness is associated with marrying a sub-par guy (according to them at least).

    Liked by 1 person

    • Jack says:

      @ DS,
      Your description of the biopsychosocial model of pain sounds like what I call a subconscious pareto chart of emotional needs (listed in the post). To describe this briefly, there are a lot of contributing factors and issues going on, and decisions are made based on what would relieve the most pressing issue at that moment in time. Once that issue is no longer the most pressing issue, decisions are then made based on what would relieve whatever becomes the most pressing issue at that moment. And so on, and so on.
      IOW, it’s a “fire fighting” strategy in which the biggest fires receive all of the attention and effort.

      Liked by 2 people

  8. thedeti says:

    This is kind of related.

    I had discussions with Cail Corishev about this here

    https://cailcorishev.wordpress.com/2014/02/12/navigating-the-murky-sexual-marketplace-good-girl-edition/comment-page-1/

    And with WinteryKnight here and downthread:

    https://winteryknight.com/2014/10/04/are-young-unmarried-women-sincere-when-they-say-they-want-to-be-married-some-day/#comment-113130

    TLDR: Women want to get married, someday, not yet. Everything has to be perfect and in place before a woman will agree to marry. To women, the marriage must be absolutely perfect. Everything must be exactly right, perfectly configured and perfectly timed. There must be fantastic sex, fulfilling careers, and enjoyable and life-enriching leisure and cultural activity. She and her husband must get along perfectly with absolutely no conflict at all. Children must be conceived and born when they are fully prepared, and it must be the right number of children and they must be spaced at proper intervals. There must be no conflict, no health problems, no job loss, and no money problems.

    If there are any problems at all, then the marriage is a failure, and she is released to divorce this unsuitable man and find another.

    Like

    • Jack says:

      @ Deti, this sounds just like what Elspeth described in the subsequent post — that women are chasing after a perfect fantasy life/lifestyle, and that this desire trumps all else.

      Liked by 1 person

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