Submission to sexual authority is subordinant to God’s prerogatives.
Flipping the Switch
“I recommend that instead of thinking and writing that women are the gatekeepers of sex, that God is the gatekeeper of sex. When God is the gatekeeper, both men and women need to fear God and refrain from sex while they are single. When married, God flips a switch, and now the husband and wife own each other sexually. It is marriage and God’s rules that opens the gate for sex to occur righteously and frequently.
When we award women the gatekeeper role, this can allow the following actions:
- If the woman is willing to have sex before marriage, then the man can think that this is good since the gatekeeper is opening the gate to him.
- If the woman is the gatekeeper, then she is encouraged to continue to practice gatekeeping after they are married; deciding when and how often to allow the husband to have sex with her. [For example,] Dalrock highlighted how Seminary President Al Mohler has been teaching men and women this false idea that married men need to continually earn the right to sex from their wife.
In general, I believe Bee’s perspective is patently true, based on 1st Corinthians 6:12-20 (NKJV).
13 Now the body is not for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.
18 Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. 19 Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? 20 For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s.
In the very next chapter about marriage, we see how God “flips the switch”, as Bee put it.
1 Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me:
It is good for a man not to touch a woman. 2 Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. 3 Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.1st Corinthians 7:1-4 (NKJV)
Here, we see that St. Paul describes marriage as one’s body being the possession of his/her spouse. To amplify this a bit, we might even think of Biblical marriage as being your spouse’s sex slave. In this statement, I am not referring to BDSM, but rather the idea that if your spouse says “Jump me in bed!”, or makes an equivalent non-verbal invitation, then you have to jump on that at the soonest and nearest possible convenience, and do it until he/she is satisfied.
How does “flipping the switch” happen?
For most people, they eventually become enslaved to their sexual desires at some point in their youth, simply because this is the natural drive of procreation. But the question of morality dictates how this should be handled. The moral approach would be to get married before (or when) this occurs. The immoral approach would be to pursue the carnal nature for its own pleasures, consequences be d@mned.
Many young Christians who want to get married are overwhelmed by the idea of “Now we get to have sexxx… SEXXX!!!” This attitude towards marriage is naïve because it is taken as permission to gratify their desires, rather than as a duty to have sex on demand, and to glorify God. They do not seem to comprehend the core aspect of marriage as becoming a slave to your spouses and your own sexual desires. Instead they revel in the joys of being enslaved to their desire without any moral retribution. This is a reality that should be emphasized to young people, because this might help them crystallize a more realistic regard for sex and marriage.
There has been a lot of argument (especially from women) about how “flipping the switch” is unrealistic. The typical argument states that it’s unreasonable to expect women to go from being pure, chaste virgins to ravenously horny housewives upon being married.
I would agree that this is nearly impossible for a woman who has already been around the block. Since it is these kinds of women who make this argument so vehemently, it is clear that this argument is made on the basis of preserving their egos and the feeling of being in control.
But in fact, we see this switch being flipped all the time. It happens when a young woman has sex for the first time (or the first few times). She suddenly changes from a passive, naïve girl with flighty dreams about romance, into an edgy, $ћit testing, c0ck craving nympho. Moreover, this reality only highlights the necessity of remaining chaste before marriage. But instead, these days we see too many women, even within the Church, who are all too willing to spill their beans, eagerly becoming slaves to their desire.
If a woman was to adopt the mindset of gatekeeping for God, then this loses traction if she also chooses which man she wants to marry. I’m not saying this is wrong, but only that it is easy for her to lose sight of herself as an instrument in God’s hands, and see marriage more as a vehicle to satisfy the Tingles. Or else postpone marriage until such an opportunity arises, if ever. Same goes for men. Men typically have a low interest in marriage, except when it is believed that (1) marriage might increase the frequency of sex, or (2) marriage is the only morally licit context for sex. If men and women regarded marriage as a primary venue of submitting to God’s authority, and expressing their own sexual authority, and not so much as a moral context to access the gratification of being enslaved to one’s sexual desire, I believe this shift in consciousness may prove to be very rewarding.
- Σ Frame: No Authority to give “Consent” (2020 March 6)
- Σ Frame: Sexual Authority (2020 September 30)
- Σ Frame: Illicit Sex Upsets the Balance of Sexual Authority (2020 December 4)