Giving advice is not as simple or as complex as you might think.
The Shepherd, Conrad Eldridge
My father believed that power and knowledge were corrupting. He always refused to give me any advice. He thought it to be better if I made my own decisions and found my own way. He was also afraid that I would blame him if things didn’t turn out as I expected. Interestingly, his middle name is Conrad, which means “wise counselor”. This is a name that had been used for many generations in his family, but he chose not to give me this name. Instead, I inherited a generational moniker from my maternal grandfather’s line.
Looking back on my life, I wish that my father would have been more willing to share the wisdom of his own experience. However, because of his approach, I now have many of my own unique life experiences to draw from. There are pros and cons to any style of shepherding.
At the opposite extreme from my father’s style, there are some people who love to give advice because it gives them an ego kick to control or influence the lives of others. The worst sort of advice (or the best within a viciously insolent frame) is motivated by schadenfreude. Of course, people like this seldom give out profoundly wise advice.
The best sort of advice is when someone clearly spells out what the choices are, delineates the pros and cons for each choice, and gives an idea of what the most probable consequences might be for each choice.
A wise counselor will not omit choices, or push for one choice or another, but will instead leave that open to the person’s own decision. I believe that one reason why Red Pill truths have been lost over the last couple generations is because our elders correctly assessed that certain embodiments of knowledge are apt to be used for evil and destruction, and they thought they were doing right by either obviating or excluding those options. But that is a choice that each person must make for himself. To be deprived of choice is to be enslaved. Forced altruism crushes the will, and is thus a gateway to ћә11. Our ignorance of this knowledge has not made us any more righteous nor happy, but instead, it has made us more impotent and imbecilic. We now call this pathetic state, being Blue Pilled.
The Crook, Wayne Scott
The name Wayne originated from the occupation of a wagon driver, and by extension, it means “traveler”. Scott means “wanderer”.
People who seek advice from others are usually people who have the following characteristics.
- They are too young to know how things work, nor what they are doing.
- They are emotionally weak and spiritually immature.
- They don’t have any sense of spiritual discernment to guide them through life.
- They don’t have any higher purpose in life which would reduce the number of options and simplify the choice.
- They are unfamiliar with being Heart Led and instead are trying to reason through all their decisions.
They seek advice because…
- They wish to avoid pain or the negative consequences of bad decisions.
- They want to know the easiest way to obtain their desires.
- They want to avoid shame and censure.
They will always be frustrated if they’re seeking after their desires because God doesn’t work that way. In most cases, you have to go directly to God in prayer, sort out what it is that you want, and why you want it. If it fits within God’s will, then you can ask for it with confidence and faith. If it is not, then your repentance is in order.
Sometimes people who come asking for advice aren’t really looking for advice. They just want to hear themselves, and to be heard by others. Their motivation to do so could range from extremely selfish, to very wise, and even deceptively cunning. Here are a few.
- Some people just want to whine and complain and have someone share in their commiseration.
- Some feel very insecure, and want to be comforted and affirmed.
- Others want to hone the validity of their thoughts and build up their confidence with someone they trust.
- Some are actually people who already know the answer but they just need another person to help them face themselves and get a full grasp of what they’re up against, and maybe a little encouragement to boost their morale.
- They want to know where you stand on an issue, so that they know better how to deal with you.
Certain individuals may have other peculiar reasons for seeking advice.
The Shepherd’s Crook
In his post, Let me give you some advice (2020 August 31), Adam notes that it is generally unwise to give advice to a person who doesn’t know what to do. The underlying attitude behind this approach is that, “If you haven’t earned it, you don’t deserve it.” This is similar to my father’s approach, but with different motivations. In general, I agree. But that is not to say that you should never give out advice.
It is important to determine the nature of the person’s question.
- If it concerns something that the person may be too young to know anything about, then it might be good to educate him.
- If a person asks for advice on a practical or professional matter, it would be good to tell him whatever you might know. It would be even better to take him along and show him how it’s done.
- If you have a vested interest in the person, and/or you are bound to him through contract, blood, or Covenant, then you have the Spiritual Authority and perhaps also the responsibility to give advice.
Often times, it may be better to avoid giving direct advice, and instead take the person under your wing try to figure out what the deeper spiritual issue is about, which may be something that he is not aware of. It will require a good deal of trust between the two of you to dig through this, and this might take some time, maybe even a few years. So actually, this situation is not really giving advice, it’s more like mentorship.
If you do not hold the Spiritual Authority to give advice, then it may be wiser just to be a sounding board. That is, listen to the person and let him talk through the issue and find the answer for himself. Bring up what remains unforeseen to him, and correct his logical errors as you see fit.
Reframing the discussion in the style of a debate can often serve as a functional vehicle towards this end. One major benefit of this approach is that it sparks intuitive insight and conviction. Another benefit of this approach is that you can get the person to think through the issue and arrive at a conclusion without you having to assume much responsibility for the outcome. Instead, he will feel like it is his own decision. It may help to inform him that you are taking this approach, so that he doesn’t think you are simply being an @$$.
- Σ Frame: Roadblocks in Ministry (2010 June 6)
- Σ Frame: Developing Attitudes That Help You Cope (2015 November 5)
- Σ Frame: Exposing the Truth to Others (2018 January 1)
- Σ Frame: The Dispensation of the Red Pill (2018 April 7)
- Σ Frame: On the Authenticity of Appearance and Avatar (2018 November 21)
- Σ Frame: Bards, Jesters, and Kings (2019 October 6)
- Σ Frame: How to Develop an Attitude of Detachment (2020 July 10)