A man who can give a woman the tingles, and a woman who can give a man a stiffy, have intrinsic sexual authority by definition.
Readership: All; Christians; Married Couples;
In a footnote at the end of a previous post, I explained my understanding of 1st Corinthians 7:1-9.
According to 1st Corinthians 7:5, a woman may rightfully expect regular sexual attention from her husband, and she has the authority over his body in terms of his sexual desire and satisfaction. But that is within an intimate relationship between man and wife. Women in general do not have authority over men’s procreative choices or abilities. If a woman willingly lays her body down to be shagged by a man, which is her natural use in marriage, then by nature of the transaction, she is submitting to his authority, and his decision to ejaculate wherever he pleases. If that results in a pregnancy, then she should have accepted that as a possible outcome long before she prostrated herself.
Bee objected to the phrasing, saying that the first sentence should read,
According to 1st Corinthians 7:5, a woman may rightfully expect regular sexual attention from her husband, and she has the authority over his body in terms of her sexual desire and satisfaction.
I suggest replacing “his” in the second line with “her”.
I maintain that the original text is correct, but I see how it can be confusing, so this post is written to explain it in further detail, just to be clear.
Intrinsic Sexual Authority
Sexual Market Value (SMV) as the Manosphere has described it, is a subjective, backward way of attaching a quantitative handle on one’s intrinsic sexual authority, for the convenience of discussion. That is to say, when we speak of someone’s SMV, we are basically talking about how much sexual authority that person can command.
Sexual authority is not explicitly limited to sexual intercourse and sexualized intersexual liaisons. It also extends to envelop one’s ability to garner attention, investment, popularity, and favor. Sexual authority enhances one’s social prowess and enhances one’s overall quality of life.
Women are naturally skilled at this and don’t need any instruction. For example, it is common for teenage girls to compete amongst themselves as to who can dress the most provocatively. Instead, young women need to be taught to be modest, and to restrict this activity to marriage.
For men, as things are now, only high status and high SMV men have this kind of authority, and even so, very few of them are aware of it and know how to use it. (Some PUA’s call this being “sexually aware” or “having presence”.) The vast majority of men are clueless about this, and they have very little chance to learn it either.
Sexual Authority in Marriage
As discussed in the previous section, individuals with a higher SMV are naturally able to command greater authority in the arena of intersexual relationships. But the Biblically inspired challenge is to learn how to exercise sexual authority over one’s spouse. When both husband and wife hold sexual authority securely over the other’s body, then this is exceedingly conducive to marital contentment (i.e. sanctification).
In the passage about marital relations in 1st Corinthians 7:1-9, verses 4-5 say,
“The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.”
The idea of having authority over the other’s body is commonly glossed over, or conveniently ignored altogether, especially in a converged church sermon. So you have to come to places like the Christian Manosphere to get any insight on this. To focus on this point further, this authority over the other’s body entails hairstyle and how the other dresses, but it also includes the sexual use of the body, including sexual arousal, expression, and satisfaction.
The wife has (or should have) the authority (e.g. a shapely fit body, a kindhearted spirit of humility, emotional entrenchment, a personalized seductive lure, the physical skills, etc.) to turn her husband on and use his sexual desire to satisfy her own needs for attention, affection, affirmation, sexual intercourse, etc.
Hint to Ladies: Use your wrist, not your elbow.
Likewise, the husband has (or should have) the authority to get his wife into the mood and use her needs for attention, affection, affirmation, sexual intercourse, etc. to satisfy his own sexual desire.
Hint to Men: Use your elbow, not your wrist.
Sex begins in the kitchen. In the video below, two women demonstrate how to clean the silk from corn with a rubber band. The woman on the left (Rachel Ray) shows the proper level of joyful enthusiasm that is necessary to command emotional authority, but the older lady on the right has a better habit of using her wrist to command technical authority. (Experience comes with age.) The most holy wife exhibits both.
Marriage Structures with a Healthy Balance of Authority
Many if not most of the frustrations encountered in marriage arise from the fact that sexual authority has not been attained by one or both.
Monday’s post, Placing the Marriage Structures within the Archetypical Models (2020 September 28), examined two relationships that have a healthy structure of authority. I’ve extracted a few excerpts below. (Click on the preceding link to read more.)
The Tingly Respect model works because a woman’s natural desires for a husband and to be ruled over (according to Genesis 3:16) is commonly expressed as a hypergamous desire for a top quality man. She intuitively perceives that such a man has the visceral power of authority over her desires, and he therefore rules over her.
In a Tingly Respect relationship, the husband is able to cause the wife to lose control over her sexual desire for him, such that she wants to make love to him on impulse and without prescient contemplation. This is why I called this the Tingly Respect model.
The Tingly Respect model is less susceptible to the usual wifely indignation, because it appeals to her emotions, sates her natural hypergamic desires, and therefore relieves the wife from a heavy reliance on her will power to be obedient.
The success of the Headship structure depends on the wife’s willing submission. In a Headship relationship, the wife has the upper hand in attracting her husband’s sexual interest, as long as she is willing to do so. As such, she has authority over his body (i.e. his sexual desire).
Furthermore, if a married person has the power to turn the other on to such a degree that he/she has lost all conscious mindfulness, and dives into the act of intercourse without any thought, hesitancy, or reservation, then that person might be able to truthfully claim that he/she has real authentic authority over the other’s body (according to 1st Corinthians 7:4).
Men have a natural habit of seeking out women who command sexual authority over them, and men naturally (and quickly) fall in love with such women. But within marriage, it is more important for a man to have sexual authority over his wife for several reasons.
- It satiates her fleshly nature, leading to less drama and more peace in the home.
- It reduces the wife’s inclination, willingness, and overall ability to rebel.
- It makes it easier for him to rule over his household.
When a woman increases her N count, she is substantially decreasing the authority that her future husband may have over her body. This is why men prefer virgins for marriage.
- Σ Frame: Time Frames for various forms of sexual bonding and maturation (2019 February 5)
- Σ Frame: Sexual Compatibility is dependent on Sanctification (2020 March 2)
- Σ Frame: Sexual Consent in Marriage (2020 March 9)
- Σ Frame: Sanctification and Sexual Compatibility (2020 June 19)