The best enema of all

A wife who refuses anal sex is only marginally better than a wife who refuses sex altogether.

Readership: Men; Married men especially;

Under last month’s post, Sanctification and Sexual Compatibility (2020 June 19), there was some discussion about anal sex.  I have a mixed opinion about this subject that I’ll explain here.  I’ve made it less opprobrious and more enjoyable to read by inserting (in italics) several hilarious euphemisms for Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.

butt

Why Anal?

Of course, experienced men all know that poking pussy is the most outstanding form of coitus, followed by eager fellatio.  But over the past decade, it seems that plundering the exit has become rather “popular”.  So why is there any interest in fudge packing at all?

First of all, for younger nubes who are rather inexperienced, bum fun is all about playfulness and sexploration.  And it is not just randy young men; many young women are quite eager to defile their bodies as much as they can, just for the fun of it all.

Secondly, for those buggers (both male and female) that for some reason have a conscious reservation about raw-dogging it, pee-pee in the poo-poo is the next closest thing to vaginal sex.  It simply feels like the male is rooting in her most holy of holes.  Thus, mud mashing is the preferred go-to for those men and women who can’t control their desire, but are afraid of full intercourse, or have a sensitive conscience about “destroying” pussy.

Stemming from my interactions with single Muslims, I know truffle butter is the indulgence granted to those couples engaged to be married who want to loosen their collars and ream their bowels without having to worry about the embarrassment of an untimely pregnancy.

why-dont-you-have-kids-yet-because-that-pipe-doesnt-go-to-the-marshmallow-room-it-goes-to-the-fudge-

For those who are already married, I think the fascination with going downtown has to do with the husband’s exercise of authority over his wife’s body, and her willingness to submit.  This is the one point that I’ll focus on in the next section about purposes.

Finally, there is the gay thing, which is outside the scope of this essay, but no discussion of putting in the rough is complete without this being mentioned.  I once read somewhere that “the male G-spot is up the @ss” (i.e. the prostate gland), and the stimulation thereof is able to inspire the gay gladiolus gardens of feminine feelings, which I assume is similar to the female’s Tingles.  This is how men get “converted” into rainbow fluffies and develop the craving for flute roops, and also why it’s so hard for them to repent of punching prostate.  It’s also much easier for them to face down with other gay men, than for them to do the hard work of dickering around with the female hamster.

This curiosity of male anatomy is why prostitutes have a trade secret of keeping the nail of one finger trimmed short for the purpose of using that finger to stimulate the male G-spot of a customer who has any difficulties in spilling his load.  Or so I’ve heard.

do go on

Noble Purposes for Probing the Poop Chute

In the headline of this post, I wrote, “A wife who refuses anal sex is only marginally better than a wife who refuses sex altogether.”  Let me explain this further.

Consider for a moment, the level of female submission possible on a spectrum of her interest.  On one extreme, a cryogenic wife will go liquid nitrogen at the very suggestion of passionate lovemaking.  Somewhere in the middle, there are luke-warm wives (like Cathy), who have the attitude that “vaginal sex is all I’m required to do”.  Ho hum…  On the other extreme is the soaking wet, quivering wife who is so filled with horny desire, she is begging to be f*cked every which way she can, in every hole, all night, every night, and not soon enough!

I want it now

To ask married men which type of response is most preferable in a wife is wasting your breath.

To ask which response is more likely to characterize and contribute towards marital sanctification also carries a foregone conclusion.

As I mentioned in the first section, the wife’s willing submission and cheerful obedience is what makes both the marriage and the sex a delight to both husband and wife!  But the Bible goes a step further by requiring the wife to grant the husband full authority over her body.

Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband.  The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does.  And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.“ ~ 1st Corinthians 7:3-4 (NKJV)

Note that the same is true for the husband in the latter part of verse 4.

Now, we know a lot of people would read this passage literally and through a legalistic lens, and so they would naturally come to the conclusion that if your wife wants to dress her husband up in a clown suit before she goes down on him, then 1st Corinthians 7:4 lends Biblical support for that.  Going further, a very arrogant wife might argue that if she wants to shove her bumpy purple dildo up her husband’s backside, then of course, 1st Corinthians 7:4 means that that should be admissible too.

veruca salt

But I need to point out here, that those who want to chase after such futile arguments in a tit-for-tat brinkmanship are devolving into a hard-hearted legalistic approach concerning their views on authority.  Moreover, they are missing the whole point of what it means to “have authority over the spouse’s body”.

St. Paul doesn’t go into great detail in this matter, but instead leaves it up to individual married couples to experiment with.  But my understanding of the scripture gives the implication that a married person should be pulling out all the stops in learning how to titillate the other person unto ecstasy, and should never be selfishly putting the brakes on their marital passion.

The point here is to get your spouse to lose control over their sexual desire for you, such that they are making love to you on impulse and without prescient contemplation.  If a married person has the power to turn the other on to such a degree that he/she has lost their mind, and dives into the act of intercourse without any thought, hesitancy, or reservation, then that person might be able to truthfully claim that he/she has authority over the other’s body.

If a wife has a very low libido, then the husband will find this undertaking to be quite a challenge.  But seldom does a husband have a low libido.  Men are usually up for some action at a moments notice.  So there is no reason why a wife should have any trouble ramping up her husband’s desire.  But instead of wives wondering how they could make their husbands more excited, and working her body on his body towards that end, we often hear of wives who do what they can to dampen her husband’s desire.  This is just wrong.

If she is putting hard left and right limits on what she is “required” to do in the bedroom, then she is clinging to a legalistic mindset, she is lacking a spirit of submission, and she is creating anxiety and self-consciousness surrounding sexual intercourse.  Obviously, she is not intoxicated with the ecstasy of love in her discoverie of marital consummation.

GrandioseOpulentChipmunk-small

Instead, a worthy wife should allow her husband to be delighted in her body.  This is rather easy to do, because men are visually stimulated.  Really, the wife has it so easy when it comes to pleasing her husband.  If she can look him in the eyes, and show a little enthusiasm for his excitement, then the man is invariably satisfied.  But many wives cannot even do this much.  Excuses abound.

Going further, if a wife has a submissive heart and is really into her husband, she’s not going to care a whit about which hole gets penetrated.  She is simply overjoyed that he is getting off on her.  To a woman who is totally obsessed with her man, there’s no difference between playing sit-and-spin with the fireman and flying a kite!

I also know from experience that when the pounding gets heated and heavy, it’s easy to inadvertently stab one too low and thereby give her a pleasant surprise.  It’s also a humbling experience for her, which is a good thing for the sanctity of the union.

has-anal-sex-once-your-mine-forever

Although I will readily agree that spitting into the wind is frivolous and distasteful, the exercise of authority over the wife’s body (as I’ve described above) is very important for sanctification to occur.  If this absolutely must include tossing in the cornhole, then he’d better get to it, and get it done.

Also consider how many women play backgammon in their younger years, presumably to avoid pregnancy, or to “live in the moment”.  Then later in life, they enter into marriage with the mind that bunghole bungling is somehow dishonorable or “beneath her”.  As a result, she refuses to allow her husband to shoot the moon.  Verily, that husband will be vexed to the quick until he can knock a few shots of Bailey’s squarely up her bum.  And to men who are in this situation, I would say it’s a prerogative to “own your wife” in every way, mouth, tits, glory hole, and @ss!  She shall be your wife because you humbled her!  And humbled her more than the last dude.

it-would-be-fun-anal-sex-fun-is-just-an-understatement

Concluding Statements

Really, if your wife isn’t saying (in her heart), “Ohh, my succulent c0ck draped lord and master!  F*ck me up to heaven any which way you want!  Do it NOW!”, then there’s something missing.  You’re not experiencing marriage at its finest.  If she wants to nitpick about this position or that hole, then she’s broken in some way.  If the husband has qualms about this position or that hole, then he’s not experiencing a mind-numbing desire for his wife.

In all these words, I’m not arguing that being an admiral for the Royal Mounties is holy by any means, nor that it is right, nor even necessary.  I am rather indifferent about the matter.  I just want to point out that married individuals who are particularly persnickety about the peeping turtle have shunted their natural passions and affections with pride, legalism, guilt, or shame, and are living in the vanity of their minds.

In sum, get out of your heads and start living!  Picking out the gnat (boofing) and swallowing the camel (marrying) is probably not going to make your marriage any better.  Instead, cultivate a heart-felt desire for your spouse.  If you have enough desire to poke her pooper, and she has enough desire to take a backwash up the drain, then surely you’re living on the ugly edge of life, but sanctification is sure to happen.

Related

About Jack

Jack is a world traveling artist, skilled in trading ideas and information, none of which are considered too holy, too nerdy, nor too profane to hijack and twist into useful fashion. Sigma Frame Mindsets and methods for building and maintaining a masculine Frame
This entry was posted in Desire, Passion, Homosexuality, Purpose, Relationships, Sanctification & Defilement and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

13 Responses to The best enema of all

  1. Elspeth says:

    Never, at least not for quite a few years anyway, have I felt this level of relief at having a normal husband with a traditional Christian understanding of sexual morality in marriage.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Jack says:

      Elspeth, you have a good marriage and a good man. If reading this post makes you feel relieved and grateful, then I’ve done my job as a writer well. Thanks for the feedback.

      Like

  2. Elspeth says:

    Apostle Paul and his blathering about there being a “natural use” of our bodies sexually, implying that there can be an unnatural use.

    He was so clueless and outdated, man!

    Like

  3. cobaltsheath says:

    The prospect of anal seems a million away when your wife is not interested at all in you and usually refuses the basics.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Lexet Blog says:

    This post is brought to you by:

    The American society of colon and rectal surgeons; gastroenterologists; your friendly gay neighbor, and several insurance companies

    Liked by 2 people

    • Sharkly says:

      Although Jack says, “I am rather indifferent about the matter.” he seems to have indicated that he feels that “Anal” is not against nature, is covered by 1 Corinthians 7:3-4 as a marital duty, and that it is part of sexually “humbling” the wife, which he indicates is a good thing.

      While I’m not 100% certain where I stand, because I haven’t researched sodomy in the Bible, because my own conscience has given me no desire do dishonor myself or my wife by mimicking faggotry in that way. My own masculine spirit tells me it ain’t for me! Furthermore, I have read that anal sex is not recommended for folks with above average penis girth. And I have no desire to damage my wife’s anus, or to ever have mine messed with either. I have no desire to play in shit. I think oral sex is OK, but I personally don’t believe anal sex is a natural desire, at least it certainly isn’t one of my natural desires, and my sex drive has been professionally evaluated as being “robust”. I think it is just another perversion that this world tries to accustom us to accept, to defile the image of God.

      In the following sexually euphemistic passage, the wife has the cistern/well that flows with water, and the man has the fountain.
      Proverbs 5:15 Drink water from your own cistern, flowing water from your own well. 16
      Should your springs be scattered abroad, streams of water in the streets? 17 Let them be for yourself alone, and not for strangers with you. 18 Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, 19 a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love.

      I’ve never heard of anybody drinking anything with their dick, so I believe that passage is clearly speaking of at least cunnilingus, regular vaginal sex, and breast enjoyment. Notice that it doesn’t say to put your fountain in her latrine, or to eat dirt. LOL

      Liked by 2 people

      • Lexet Blog says:

        Anal sex is unnatural, and poses risks of infection to both parties when done without modern protection and cleansing.

        It permanently damages the sphincter and the ability of people to “hold it in.”

        Not to mention that the cells that line the vagina are completely different: when foreign substances like dna are absorbed through the intestines, it triggers an autoimmune response.

        Romans 1:24- covers sexual sin.

        Sodomy describes anal sex for a reason. The society it’s named after was homosexual, and members of the town wanted to rape male houseguests as a welcoming party – and even turned down virgin women.

        Liked by 2 people

  5. Kevin Blackwell says:

    I think too many people are trying to read this literally. God told Abraham to kill his son. Abraham obeyed but everyone knows god doesn’t want us to kill our children. Now that’s a test! I think a better way to think about this is “push her boundaries” even if you intend to do something or not.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Jack says:

      Kevin Blackwell is spot on. Anal sex is a sh!t test for women (quite literally!). You ask her to roll over, and if she complies, then she passes. You may not need to follow through.

      Like

  6. lastmod says:

    When a man does this to his wife or he just does this when he is single and “curious” (notice, women ride the cock-carousel…..and a man with the same behaviors is just getting “experience”), it’s because he cannot help himself and you know… he knew that Jesus loved him “no matter what”. Well, this vile behavior is praised. Two gay men do this….an abomination! Disgusting! And “this is how AIDS and other STD’s are spread!!” Two “hot” lesbian women with a strap on, its watched with intrigue by this crowd.

    How about this: If a couple is into it. No problem. If not. No problem.

    However, I don’t care how “red pilled” you are, if your wife wants the “perfumed garden” (anal) and you as the husband don’t???? You really are not going to have a choice in the matter. You’re going to do it.

    Like

  7. lastmod says:

    Just about all of my guy friends who are married or you know…….f*ck anything that comes along because they are so thirsty……if she wants anal…..said dudes do it to keep her “haaapy” and he does it, even if he has reservations and doesn’t like it.

    Like

    • Jack says:

      “…if she wants anal… dudes do it to keep her “haaapy”… He does it, even if he has reservations and doesn’t like it.”

      Yes, boffing is definitely not something that only guys are into. Like I said in the post, some women want to defile themselves as much as possible, just for the fun of it all. But women who are like this usually won’t postpone their festivities until marriage. If you happen to be married to such a person, then what can you do?

      As Jason suggested, it really goes both ways. If your husband/wife really wants it (not planned, but in the heat of the moment), you kind of have to go along. As another example, my wife likes it rough, so I have to step outside my comfort zone to totally satisfy her.

      I imagine someone will object to that last paragraph, saying, “If your husband/wife really wants an open relationship, or a threesome with a black dude, etc., then are you saying I have to go along with it?”
      Obviously, the answer is no, because that would constitute adultery. It would also require some amount of prescient planning which would constitute sin.

      If a person is really cultivating a heart-felt desire for one’s spouse, then things like anal sex, fetishes, choking, role playing, her swallowing the man’s load during fellation, etc. may very well come up, depending on the individuals. But those other perversions involving other people should not come up. If they do, then you’ve crossed a line. Something is amiss.

      Like

  8. JPF says:

    I have always thought of anal sex as repulsive. Since the Bible forbids male-on-male sexual activity, and that (in my view) means anal sex, I suspect my repulsion is natural.
    Not sure I would criticize another couple, where both want that and therefore do so together. I would not want to think about that though.

    Liked by 3 people

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