Tinder Translations

Did you ever wonder what women on Tinder really mean?

Readership: Single men currently using Tinder (or a similar social networking app);
Length: 700 words
Reading Time: 2.5 minutes


In the beginning, say around 10 years ago, social networking apps were a fun way to meet lots of different people and make casual conversation.  In fact, I met my wife on OK Cupid.  But in recent years, many social networking apps (e.g. Badoo, Grinder, Tinder) have become nothing more than a rolodex for ONS/hookup/STR’s.  People who use these apps are looking to get waylaid ASAP.  So if you get on one of these apps, you have to be aware of this.  Anything you see on a Tinder profile has to be read through this lens.  

Such as it is, Christians have no reason to use these apps at all.  However, I am guessing that many young Christian men (and women) get on Tinder just to see what’s happening there.  So in this paragraph, I’m talking to you younger Christian guys.  If you’re going to do the online dating thing, then you had better know what you’re looking at.  Otherwise, you’re making trouble for yourself.  Reread the last half of the first paragraph above.  If you’re thinking that your motivations are totally innocent, then you had better watch yourself.  You need to know your threshold of temptation before you get too far into it.  It’s too easy to fall into the meat grinder when the opportunity is available at a mere swipe.


The intentions of the slore above with the 1,000 c0ck stare are unnervingly obvious, so no translation is necessary.  However, most other wimmin have a consistent habit of sugarcoating anything that is unseemly.  This is all the more true on social networking apps.  A little bit of translation work is necessary to uncover what they really mean.

Dictionary for Girls on Tinder

This abridged dictionary is a gem from bence86 on 9 Gag.*

  • “I’m a proud mother.” = “I have no job.  I need your salary.”
  • “If you can’t accept my children, swipe left.” = “You should love my kids, but I don’t want any of your own.”
  • “Perverts, swipe me left.” = “Perverts who are not handsome, swipe me left.”
  • “Only dogs play with bones.” = “I’m fat and too lazy to do anything about it.”
  • “Nerds/gamers swipe me left.” = “I do not have a hobby.  If you have a hobby, I consider it to be a distraction from your potential to earn.  You need to have a job so you can pay mine.”
  • “Half-naked guys swipe me left.” = “I can show 34 pics of my nails, but you cannot be proud of your bodywork/sport achievements.”
  • “Message me, I don’t bite.” = “I’m lonely and bored.  Please someone write me!”
  • “I’m only here cause of a challenge” = “I will be in a relationship from Tinder within 2 weeks.”
  • “I like fooling around.” = “My sense of humor is 0.”
  • “I can enjoy parties without drinking.” = “I am on my phone all the time, and I leave the party before 11 am.”
  • “Appearance is secondary.” = “I’m ugly.  I could not take a single good pic from 33 tries.”
  • “Only serious relationship.” Ann (44) = “Half the city f*cked me already.”

I could add a few more to this list.

  • “I’m not here for hookups/ONS.” = “I’m here for hookups/ONS, but I decide who and when, so don’t embarrass me by asking.  Meantime, while I’m looking at other men’s profiles, your purpose is to entertain me.”
  • “I have x (number of children), and I’m happy with this.” = “Don’t ask me to have any (more) kids with you.”
  • “No dick pics!” = “I’ve already had the biggest you can’t imagine, so yours won’t excite me.”

Go visit Boxer’s blog for more degenerate offerings.  Links below.

If you’re still not sure these translations are accurate.  You can go check it out for yourself.  But in my opinion, it would be better to take this word at face value and stay off dating apps altogether.

Old hands, feel free to leave other translations below in the comments.

* Edited for clarity.


About Jack

Jack is a world traveling artist, skilled in trading ideas and information, none of which are considered too holy, too nerdy, nor too profane to hijack and twist into useful fashion. Sigma Frame Mindsets and methods for building and maintaining a masculine Frame
This entry was posted in Choosing a Partner or Spouse, Discerning Lies and Deception, Discernment, Wisdom, Internet Dating Sites, Personal Presentation, Solipsism, The Hamster, Vetting Women and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

12 Responses to Tinder Translations

  1. cobaltsheath says:

    A lot of willingness vs. negative comments about men make a lot more sense when you preface them with “attractive” or “unattractive,” respectively.

    “(Unattractive) assholes need not apply.”
    “I’ll suck your dick (if you’re an attractive male).”

    It’s hinted at in the list, but it should be emphasized more. Women, and people in general, can break any rule for an attractive person.


    • Jack says:

      @ Cobaltsheath,
      You make an excellent point.

      Men will notice and acknowledge unattractive women. But women habitually ignore unattractive men. This is why Manospherians say that unattractive men are invisible to women.

      When women talk about men, attractiveness is the quality that women take for granted. That is, if a man is worth talking about (or men as an abstract generality), it is always assumed that he is hot (or exceedingly powerful, wealthy, athletic, etc.). Other women understand this instinctively so they consistently fail to mention this. Men have to learn to read between the lines. For most of my life (up until the Ted Pill), men really didn’t know exactly what women were attracted to, or that women segregate men in their minds.

      For all the talk we hear about equality (e.g. fatty tattooed women claiming to have a place on the cover of Sports Illustrated), we’ll never hear of unattractive and attractive men demanding to be treated equally by women.

      Liked by 1 person

      • cobaltsheath says:

        It’s also useful for decoding feminist dialogue about men. All the complaints they have about men are really about unattractive men. Like the women on Tinder, they’ll ditch their feminist script when they come across an attractive enough man. Granted, some feminists are so deep into their beliefs that it’ll take a 10/10 male to make them turn, but everyone has a temptation limit. This doesn’t necessarily apply to fake or misremembered #meToo scenarios, where there was sex or flirting with a legitimately attractive alpha. That doesn’t matter when it’s in the past and there’s the lure of settlement money.

        Liked by 2 people

  2. AngloSaxon says:

    Its annoying we can’t plow through these sl6ts, but we don’t get to live our lives as we please, do we…

    “I’m not here for hookups/ONS.”
    Translation 1 – I am lying LOL if we end up in bed on the 1st meeting then because I put out this disclaimer the responsiblity is on YOU for the instant lay, I am a virtuos!!!

    Translation 2 – I am here for hookups with the right man

    Translation 3 – I have had many hookups in the past and am now “ready for a relationship” but will happy bend over the right man still.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. lastmod says:

    If you’re a “young” christian man (that’s kind-of a hoot within itself because many churches now consider “youth” to be a few years after college age now… …mid twenties) you have really zero business being on Tinder to begin with. Yes, I know… …said young christian man is going to be the “exception” and find the really, really wholesome great, good looking, traditional girl who is there.

    Never have used Tinder, know men who do. Men my age and that is creepy.

    Tinder works the same as any dating site, Christian or not. 80% of men are considered below average, or well below average… and that other 20% of men are like “just get confidence bro!”


  4. feeriker says:

    It’s pretty sobering to think that the advice in this post is even necessary for anyone with an IQ of 90 or above who has any sense of his surroundings or experience with the world. On the other hand, with the social infrastructure that once made apps like this unnecessary and relationships between the sexes having been sabotaged almost beyond repair (much of it with the church’s cooperation, knowingly or not), it’s easy to understand how desperate and dysfunctional times can lead even the strongest man astray.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Jack says:

      @ Feeriker,
      That is so true! The fact that we have fallen so far, so fast, would seem unbelievable to any past or future generation.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Sharkly says:

        I think the children of Israel that left Egypt with Moses went bad pretty fast too, unless they were already that wicked when they as slaves, cried out to God for deliverance.
        To be miraculously delivered, and then revel in idolatry and fornication just a short ways from Egypt seems pretty unforgivable too. No wonder they all had to die, except Joshua and Caleb.


      • Jack says:

        The experience of leaving home and a familiar place can be devastating to a person’s emotional and spiritual stability. From my interactions with foreign students, I know that the worst of it hits them between 2 to 4 months after living abroad. They have to go through a cycle of hopelessness, anger, resignation, depression, grieving, and acceptance. I can see how this homesickness was probably the main reason why the Israelites stumbled. But this is not the case with American culture, at least not on an individual basis. If cultures undergo a similar cycle, then a similar argument could be made for that. I do believe that the industrial revolution, modern technology, and all the wars of the 20th century have totally destroyed the culture we once had.


      • AngloSaxon says:

        “I can see how this homesickness was probably the main reason why the Israelites stumbled.”

        Homsesick for a country where you were a literal slave? No they sinned against God by disobeying him and that’s where the troubles began.

        Liked by 1 person

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