The Dominatrix Conversation

A dominatrix teaches power hungry women how to talk down to men.

Targeted Readership: Single men; Men who must deal with domineering women;

Kasia Urbanik June 22-4-2017

Profile of a Russian Dominatrix

The Style Section in the New York Times included an article written by Alice Hines entitled, Here’s How to Deal With Men (Thwack!) (January 20, 2018).  This article was also reviewed in Psychology Today by Dr. Tara Well, A Dominatrix Reveals the Secret to Power Dynamics (January 24, 2018).

These two articles cover the career and ‘professional’ advice of a self-professed Dominatrix, Kasia Urbaniak.  She has her own website, called The Academy, which offers tutorial videos for women seeking power and control over men.

Ms. Urbaniak immigrated from Russia, which is a strong Power vs. Fear (PvF) ethical system, so she obviously sees the world from within a vicious PvF ethical structure.  In a previous post, The Morphing Ethical System in the U.S. (2020 June 26), we looked at how this ethical structure is being coopted and developed in western society by TPTB.  So Ms. Urbaniak is a natural fit.  We should be prepared to see more of her ilk in feminine-centered media outlets.

She also collectively assumes that men and women are opponents in a zero-sum game.  By the way, contrary to her views, Russian society as a whole does not espouse such a cynical or competitive view towards male-female relationships, so NARWALT.

Aside from the obvious fact that her emotional constitution has been damaged beyond all hope of redemption, a psychoanalytical analysis of her viewpoint would suggest that there is some grand mal Psychological Projection going on.

the-academy-kasia-urbaniak

A Feminist Russian Dominatrix Speaks to Wimmin

The headline on her website reads,

“I teach women to profoundly expand their personal power and influence in a world that is screaming for it.”

At first, I found her site to be a grandiloquent, satirical gaffe of the BDSM industry, intended to attract business.  But then she asks the question,

“How does the silencing of women begin?”

This is a loaded question, and one that I find quite offensive, honestly, because she is not a lesbian dominatrix.  It would be snappier, more honest, and more in line with the spirit of her business to instead ask the question,

“How does the silencing of men begin?”

But no, if she were that honest, it would not attract the glorified cover of the NYT and Psych Today.  Her popularity has arisen because, and ONLY because, she is a Feminist mouthpiece, and one who lies through a contorted identity, with the implied aim to ‘save women from their oppression’.

In addition, her question is offensive because not only does she presume to be an itinerant ‘savior’, she also assumes a lot of false contexts that buy into the feminist narrative.  A few are listed as follows.

  • It assumes that women are systemically oppressed.
  • It assumes that women are ‘not allowed’ to speak (freely).
  • It assumes that men are engaged in a conspiracy to subjugate women.
  • It assumes that men have the mass-scale power and the collective will to silence women.
  • It assumes that women need to ‘defend’ themselves by making a collective effort to exert power over men.

These assumptions might be true in other cultures subscribing to the Power vs. Fear (PvF) ethical system (e.g. Sudan), or even the Honor vs. Shame (HvS) ethical system (e.g. Saudi Arabia), but they’re not true in the west.  The west has the opposite problem.  Substitute the words ‘men’ for ‘women’, and ‘feminists’ for ‘men’ in the above statements, to get a true description of the social dynamics in the west.  Hence,

  • Men are systemically oppressed.
  • Men are ‘not allowed’ to speak (freely).
  • Feminists are engaged in a conspiracy to subjugate men.
  • Feminists have the mass-scale power and the collective will to silence men.
  • Men need to ‘defend’ themselves by making a collective effort to counteract the power of Feminist influence.

This seems to fit right into the Dominatrix’s world view, and some men might be able to accept this in the context of sexual playacting.  However, men can’t accept living in a world based on this reality, at least not normal healthy men.  Feminists might agree, but they would never own up to it.  That would constitute waaay too much honesty to be possible.

Singapore Dominatrix

So what is the right way to think of relationships?

I need to interrupt this analysis to point out how the Dominatrix’s attitude toward male-female relations is wrong.  In general, the right mindset is sort of the opposite.

First off, a healthy relationship does not assume that men and women are opponents, unless there is an Adam and Eve type of rebellion happening.  Men and women were meant by God to be companions.

Secondly, a healthy relationship does not engage predominantly in zero sum games.

Thirdly, the Power vs. Fear ethical structure applied within a relationship is troglodyte primitive.

Her viewpoint is wrong, but it’s not because men are purportedly ‘scared’ of suave, harridan sex workers, or the demise of ‘Patriarchy’ (as Feminists mockingly claim).  Neither is it wrong because it devalues and emasculates men, although it does.  It is wrong because it inverts God’s ordained hierarchy, which is the natural order humans must conform to, if they wish to see good days.

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The Dominatrix’s Locus of Power is Verbal

Let’s look past the feminist propaganda and presumptive braggadocio and find out the source of her power.  She explains the control dynamic expressly as follows.

“In Academy lexicon, the word “you” is dominant and the word “I” is submissive.  Neither is inherently superior.  “If I’m in control of you, my attention is outward, so precisely fixed on the other person that I almost forget I exist,” Ms. Urbaniak told the audience.  If you’re submissive, “your attention is focused inward, on yourself and your feelings.”

Dominant and submissive are, she said, rhetorical and energetic states, and can be unmoored from the social hierarchies that empower men.  It’s a post-gender outlook, with as much in common with theories of performativity as with women’s empowerment programs like the Makers Conference and Lean In, …”

Towards the end of the article, the focus turns to one of Ms. Urbaniak’s students, Ms. Kubiak, who is an aerospace business developer.  She says,

“Perceiving and fluidly shifting between dominant and submissive roles improves our communication as a species, she said.”

No, it would improve our communication if men and women recognized their dominant and submissive roles respectively, and consistently adhered to them.

“For now, Ms. Kubiak is exploring the nuances of dominance and submission at Starbucks: “One day I might say, ‘I really feel like a white-chocolate mocha.’ The next, ‘You’re going to make me a cappuccino with extra foam, superdry.’”

That’s easy practice.  I’m sure the potbellied soyboys at Starbux would be eager to comply with her demands.

“Practice makes perfect.  “I’d really like to be in the room,” Ms. Kubiak told her boss when he asked her to arrange lunch instead of being present for the signing of the deal she had negotiated.  If she could do it over?  “I’d nail him with a bunch of questions,” she said.”

Note to Ms. Kubiak: Keep it up and see how long he enjoys your company enough to keep you on board.  Remember, employees are not hired to question and test the boss’ decisions, but to help the business achieve certain goals.

alan-and-megan_etorfkbx9mig

Concluding Statements

Ed once offered a useful definition of a curse as anything that presents a barrier to Shalom.  This definition agrees with how lies and inner vows act as an umbrella that blocks God’s showers of blessings.  In this case, the lie is that women should dominate men.

Dominatrices, and feminism in general, attempts to subvert God’s ordained order by appointing women to exercise moral and verbal authority over men.  They will assert that the ordained order is corrupt because of their own psychological projection.  Even so, they will encourage women to exert whatever power they can over men.

A woman who continually makes a man feel self-conscious is explicitly eroding his confidence, and the development of a healthy ego.  A woman who makes a man feel self-conscious is inflicting a double curse on him.  This is a powerful curse because (1) it inverts the structure of authority, and (2) it makes him focused on his own performance and how he is judged by others on his outer appearance.  If a man falls for this ruse and comes to believe this is the right way to think, then he is “under her spell” (in mythical language).  This destroys the natural development of confidence, and leads a man directly into feminine pedestalization, legalism, gyneolatry, or apostasy.  For more on this angle, read Reevaluating the Centrality of the Male Ego (2020 April 15).  Therefore, if a woman does this, it should be taken as a bl00dy red flag.

On a lighter note, it might help a man if he exercised the use of the pronoun “you” in a dominant manner when speaking to women and making demands of them, as Ms. Urbaniak has inadvertently revealed.

Related

About Jack

Jack is a world traveling artist, skilled in trading ideas and information, none of which are considered too holy, too nerdy, nor too profane to hijack and twist into useful fashion. Sigma Frame Mindsets and methods for building and maintaining a masculine Frame
This entry was posted in Culture Wars, Discerning Lies and Deception, Discernment, Wisdom, Female Power, Feminism, Holding Frame, Models of Failure, Power, Psychology, Strategy, Vetting Women and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to The Dominatrix Conversation

  1. JPF says:

    The destruction of the family unit continues.

    That last picture, with the guy who is trying to portray himself as socially incompetent, is truly cringe-worthy.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Scott says:

    I’ve mentioned this before, but I was told this once, many years ago, and never forgot it.

    “I prefer it when you take. I hate it when you ask.”

    It is a mantra that every man who has landed a woman should have downloaded like firmware into his brain. Like when you see a Terminator movie, and we are shown the world from the Terminators perspective. In each situation he is presented with, the heads up display gives him several options to choose from.

    So, you are home alone, and she is just getting out of the shower. She has only a towel on, and looks at you with a flirty glance.

    1. Ask nicely if she would like to engage in sexual intercourse
    2. Offer to make her some coffee
    3, Offer to paint her toenails

    4. Grab her, take her towel off, and throw her on the bed and do what you have been thinking about all morning.

    Most modern men choose poorly here. To quote Rollo Tomassi. “Its amazing Christians ever reproduce.”

    **My usual disclaimer. Only if she already thinks you are hot.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. rontomlinson2 says:

    Yes. The truth often belies the prevailing narrative.

    I’ve an engineer neighbour who writes copious documentation for work and home projects. It includes a fair bit of health and safety information. However, when you meet him, he’s always proposing ambitious and risky new construction schemes. The ‘safety first’ professional ethic and the gung-ho innovative spirit sort of compensate for each other.

    Similarly in politics it seems that finding out who’s in charge is simply a matter of finding who is the purported victim in the prevailing narrative.

    It wasn’t always so, though. In ancient times, might made right. It was Christianity that first stood up for the poor and weak. But how long can such an imperative survive without good churches?

    Btw, on the subject of Russian women, have a look at this video:

    Obviously, it’s genuine folk and therefore nationalistic. Yet it’s striking how modest the girls are! Young ladies in my country couldn’t act this way, neither for love nor money. Note the smiles and the downcast eyes. It’s the young lad who follows the camera, not ‘Dora the Explorer’.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Sharkly says:

      I think I just saw the Russian version of ‘Hee Haw’.

      Like

    • Jack says:

      Concerning the video of rural Russia, there are still some parts of America’s “fly over country” that are still like that. This is the true soul of American culture that made America a blessed nation in the past.

      Like

  4. bee123456 says:

    Equality is a very unstable social system. It is also temporary. Equality is a path, a bridge, from Patriarchy to Matriarchy. Feminism wants domination.

    This women is carving out a marketing niche for herself within the feminist system. I am sure she is making good money as a public speaker, workshop leader, retreat speaker, etc.

    Liked by 4 people

    • AngloSaxon says:

      Equality is female domination because under equality the man has no power, but the woman still has power because she may nag, deny sexual access, manipulate etc whilst the man is required to just sit there and take it.

      Liked by 2 people

  5. h0neyc0mb says:

    She hasn’t aged well.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. AngloSaxon says:

    How do I take a “dominatrix” seriously when I can throw her against the wall?

    Like

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