A wife is a stumbling block to the Americans, and foolishness to the Europeans.
Readership: Christians; Single men;
Many men have the notion that having a wife is what would make them happy. Men stubbornly cling to this notion even though the MMP is a d@mn shambles. Even men who escape from one horrible marriage, by hook or by crook, eagerly sign up to remarry another woman within a year or three. Hey stupid, it wasn’t just her! The whole market is corrupt! And AWALT!
What does it take for a man to recover from wifitis? Here are a few case studies for your reading intrigue.
Case Study 1 – An excerpt from Walk Two Moons
“When my mother had been there I was like a mirror. If she was happy I was happy. If she was sad I was sad. For the first few days after she left, I felt non-feeling. I didn’t know how to feel. I would find myself looking around for her to see what I might want to feel.
After the calf was born I thought, “Oh! I am happy at this moment in time!” and I was surprised that I knew this all by myself without my mother there. And that night in bed I did not cry. I said to myself, “You can be happy without her.” It seems like a mean thought to have and I was sorry for it, but it felt so true.”~ page 35.
Growing up and realizing that you don’t need Mom to be happy is like the sudden realization that you don’t need a wife to be happy – and likewise, that you don’t need God to give you a wife in order to be happy. A man who can get this impression may not be called to marry.
Case Study 2 — “God doesn’t care…”
Remember that time when you were a kid and your grandmother took you to the store? You were all mouth watering, and weak in the knees to have the latest G.I. Joe chronoblitzer attack module playset, complete with the fully-cloaked jettison pod, and equipped with spyder-vision tractor beams (or WeverTH it was). She looked at the exorbitant price and solemnly said, “No!”. Then you went on the warpath of dishonest discontent, saying, “Awww… You don’t reeaally looove me… You don’t reeaally caaare about me…” And at that righteous yet bewitching moment, grandma slung her lumpy, oversized purse, no doubt filled with beer bottles, bricks, an odd assortment of handtools, and a full set of Clydesdale horseshoes, to kiss your impertinent little $h!tface with the meanest left hook you never saw, sending your fat sorry @$$ sliding half-way down the floor of aisle 12. After shedding enough tears of repentance to wash the blood streak off the super-waxed floor, and mumbling “shorry mamaw…” through curds of bloody snot, she summarily dragged you out of the store by the ear – without any new toys for you to play with during your visit to her house.
…and then after returning to mamaw’s home, you found greater joys playing with your uncle’s 20-year-old toy tractors, and your cousin’s 10-year-old Tonka Trucks.
Men can be the same way about wanting a wife. I call this state, “wifitis”.
“At least part of getting better (although I still have my rough days) in this area for me was knowing in these matters… God / Jesus / the saints / angels…whatever… don’t care in these matters. They dont hem and haw over “he should have a wife”. They couldn’t care less.”
I’ll accept this as an emotional rant, because I’ve felt the same way in the past, and it proved to be an acceptance of my own hopelessness which then yielded a turn of repentance.
However, based on my experience, it is more truthful and accurate to say that “God doesn’t care as much as I do about the idolatrous things that I have mistakenly deemed to be more important than what God warrants. There must be something else that is more important to God.”
But how can one make himself stop caring about his idols? e.g. porn, chivalry, oneitis, wifitis, purity culture, G.I. Joe Attack Stations, … (Insert your own vice here).
Case Study 3 – “Why do I worry so much?”
The author of Wight of Leeds hit upon the same surprising truth, as described in his post, Why do I worry so much? (April 4, 2020).
“What if I never find a wife? I’ll become a cool old bachelor. What if I find a wife, but she divorces me for a stupid reason? I’ll get over it.
None of these are workable, detailed solutions, but they’re also about as useful as worrying itself.
At the end of the day, I’m saved and God is good. Does God care if I start a band, or find a wife, or get a degree? I don’t know. Even if He doesn’t… This may sound odd, but hearing the words “God doesn’t care if you find a wife” fills me with a strange comfort, almost relief. Am I insane?
To answer the final question, I find it improbable, that any person who has ever had a real encounter with God could possibly go on about his life afterwards, without some aggrieving affliction or recurrent bouts of madness.
But does God really care or not? Is it really true, or a deceptive, feel-good lie?
As a factual statement, “God doesn’t care if I find a wife” is not true. But as a visceral confession, it expresses the freedom in Christ.
Our sexual nature is a gift from God. What you do with this gift – your sexual nature – is up to you. God gives that choice to you, and this choice is also a gift. It’s up to you what you do with that gift. Some will trade it in for wild profligacy and gain the pros and cons that come with that lifestyle. Others will cherish and preserve it, a choice also with it’s own unique set of pros and cons. (Unfortunately, it has become extremely difficult to gain the pros from the latter choice.) But whatever you choose to do with it, it’s yours – for better or for worse.
In this sense, There is no divine intervention which will coerce you to act against your will. It is that liberty in Christ which empowers our hearts.
In the sense employed by WoLs, the statement, “God doesn’t care”, is interpreted by the heart to mean, If God doesn’t care, then there is no reason to worry about this. This epiphany also excuses the mind from a false sense of responsibility — that is to say, there is no amount of thinking and worrying that will entice a virgin bride to come into your bedchamber.
But the most striking impression is one of incongruity. If you have ever pondered upon this phenomenon before, you may have already found how it is no coincidence that a bewildered mind and a peaceful heart often go hand in hand. This aspect is further explored in the next case study.
Case Study 4 – The Azmanig Mnid
I shared this puzzle with some students. The Anzamig Mnid word puzzle is in English, but the letters are transposed into anagrams.
Some students could read it, while others could not, probably due to vocabulary deficiency. But one student (who could not read it) realized a deeper spiritual truth from this meme; It is not intended for one to understand the content of the message, but to understand the purpose for sharing it. That purpose would be for fun and hope. The fun comes from mixing up the letters. The hope is inspired by the consternation of the logical mind juxtaposed onto the simple trust of sharing the message. The latter is an aspect that would be totally lost on the western mind and dismissed as foolishness, just as it says in the Bible.
“The gospel of Christ crucified is a stumbling block to the Jews, and foolishness to the Greeks.”~ 1 Corinthians 1:23
Some truth is recognizable only to the heart. The mind is not capable of framing certain truths into logical statements, and even when it can, the resultant statements may not be faithfully accurate to the truth it attempts to apprehend.
When you pray, do you speak in the logical language of your mind? Or do you explore the mystical utterances of the heart? The second approach will make your prayer life explode! Pray like this and you’ll really get somewhere. I’m serious!
As for a man’s actual need for a wife, various manosphere writers have made it clearly evident that in these times, a man needs a woman like he needs a perpetual drain on his livelihood. If our merciful God truly cares, He won’t be bringing you a wife anytime before the Great Reset. But if you’re still grumbling and stumbling for a wife, then pray for God to shorten these days of tribulation for the sanctification of the libidinous elect.
- Crash the Matrix: The Pussy Bubble is Popping (2020-3-24)
- Christianity and Masculinity: Happy wife, happy life should be sanctified wife, joyful and peaceful life (2020-4-11)