An account of how I convinced my wife to accept my wish to have plants in the house and to be happy about it.
Readership: All; Wife moulders;
Earlier this year, we bought a new house. Since we moved in, I’ve wanted to have some green plants in the house. The first time I mentioned this to my wife, she reacted vehemently against the idea. She said bringing plants into the house would also bring dirt, worms, and bugs into the house. So she was determined not to have plants in the house.
It would be easy to dismiss her reason as a lazy excuse to be particularly disagreeable. But I chose not to interpret her reaction in this way. She is a stickler about maintaining cleanliness down to the microscopic scale. In fact, she keeps the house so immaculate, that I would not be hesitant to eat food off the floor! It’s nice to live in such a clean environment, but her anxiety over the matter can become tediously annoying at times.
So after her negative reaction, I silently made up my mind that I would have some plants in the house, and I said nothing more to her about the matter.
This is my house too. I don’t need her “permission”. I just need to do it in a way that she can accept without a ћә11 of a fuss – which I really don’t want to hear. Women should remain silent.
I decided to begin preparing some nice plants outside in the garden. Then when the plants are potted and growing well, I would choose an opportune time to move them into the house.
Sometime later, we were coming home from a social event, and I stopped at an organic nursery “just to browse”. I didn’t say so, but I was watching her to see what kinds of plants she liked. She liked the adenium arabicum (AKA desert rose), and since they were on sale, she wanted to buy one. So I bought two, one with red flowers, and the other one pink and white.
On another occasion during our nature walk, I found copious numbers of a tiny, strange looking, succulent plant growing on the eaves of a very old abandoned house in a rural area. My wife was intrigued and she broke one off the shingle and took it home. Because it was growing on the roof, I was certain that it was a sturdy plant that could withstand hot, dry environments.
I planted these in the garden with some organic fertilizer for about six weeks, to let the roots grow out a little bit. To my surprise, the red adenium flourished wildly, and grew to be twice the size of the pink one.
On another day, I found an attractive looking pot at a gardening shop and purchased it. I hid it away until I was ready to use it.
Then a day came when I felt like digging up the smaller of the two adeniums and transplanting it into the pot I had bought. But before I did that, I cut up an old scratch pad and placed a couple layers on the bottom of the pot, so that the sand and dirt wouldn’t wash through the drainage ports. I also added a layer of cut grass on top of the pads, adding some organic fiber that would further reduce the transmission of the loam.
After placing the larger adenium in the center of the pot, I used my finger to swab out a hole in the sand and I inserted the small succulent to the side.
After I had repotted the plants, I set it out in a conspicuous place where my wife would see it. She was intrigued, and made a few positive remarks. One day, she asked, “What are you going to do with that plant in the pot?” I didn’t tell her what my plan was at that moment, but her question told me that she was about ready for the big surprise.
A few days later, I made a comment about decorative plants.
“The last time we visited our neighbors, A and W, I noticed they had a small plant on the back of their toilet. I thought that one little plant made the whole bathroom so comfortable and luxurious! Did you notice that too?”
She nodded her head. The idea has now been successfully planted in her mind.
The next morning, she seemed to be in a pleasant mood, so I told her that I wanted to put the adenia in the bathroom, similar to our neighbors’. She seemed surprised, but she did not object.
So I took it into the bathroom, and carefully washed the outside of the pot before positioning it on the lavatory.
Later, I went in the bathroom while she was sitting on the commode. I found her staring at the plant, with widened eyes, a gaping mouth, and a child-like look of wonder in her expression.
She said the little succulent plant “looks so cute!”, and she even asked me how often she should water it.
I can’t decide which is the best part of my plan. Having green plants in the house as I wished, or seeing her face beaming with joy over the sight of plants in the house.
Since then, I’m almost certain that the added greenery and the occasional blossom has done something to improve her general mood, just as it has mine.
Patriarchy at its best!
Thou shalt succumb to the father’s wishes, and thou shalt be grateful!
- Σ Frame: Moulding an Excellent Wife (2018 March 5)