2 Frames of Reference for Identifying the Trust Factor

Not all women offer the preferred brand of trust. Can you identify the difference between Head Trust and Heart Trust?

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The Confusion Surrounding Trust

In a previous post, The Trust Factor (April 18, 2019), we examined two kinds of trust, Head Trust, and Heart Trust, with the latter one being the favored condition, by far.

But for many men, this choice is not easily discerned. When a man is dealing with a woman, no matter whether the woman is into Head Trust or Heart Trust, she will give him S#!t either way. No S#!t, Sherlock!

With Head Trust, she’s giving him S#!t tests, and with Heart Trust, she’s giving him authentic S#!t. So since the S#!t is all the same either way, how does a man know if a woman is giving him Head Trust or Heart Trust? Since the state of Trust determines the longitudinal nature and outcome of the relationship, it is crucial for the man to know the answer to this question – before the S#!t hits the fan.


No Resting B!tch Face here!  That’s the look of the post-Sorority, pre-Wall indignance!  The way she is looking at that ring says it all – she loves the affirmation, but hates the source — all at the same time.  NRFS!

So here we’ll cover two Frames of reference containing perceptible indicators of the type of Trust she’s inclined to offer.

1. The Quality of the Source

It is common knowledge around the Manosphere that men strongly prefer to have a woman who is young, emotionally fresh, humble, and trusting, especially for marriage. One of the many reasons for this, is that such a woman can develop Heart Trust in a man very easily.

On the other hand, if a woman is selfish, rude, immature, vapid, flaky, dispassionate, proud, chronically angry, or a social media wh0re, then she doesn’t have the ability to accommodate a man as the focus of her Heart Trust.

If she has had a lot of sexual experiences with different men, then this gives her the carnal knowledge that reinforces her propensity to rely on Head Trust. Too much reliance on Head Trust, and an inability to develop Heart Trust (AKA being jaded), ruins a woman’s desirability and worthiness for a LTR or marriage.

Even if she’s sincerely seeking authentic Heart Trust, but she’s excessively immature, then Heart Trust will not manifest appropriately. In this case, she’ll rip apart everything good in your relationship, looking for something her heart craves, but which remains elusive to her. She can’t understand how her self-centered attempts to satisfy her desperate need for love are rocking the boat until it capsizes.

Women like this need Jesus, because they have a deeper hunger in the soul which can never be satisfied through a relationship with a man.

If you are in a “Missionary Marriage” like this, the rewards may be great, but the work to get there will be long and exhausting. Proceed at your own risk, and with much prayer and discretion.

If you’re not already married to Miss Problemette, then keep your distance and let God do His work in her first. If you get involved with her before then, you will certainly be used by her to shoulder her world of hurt and suffering, and found wanting in the end. If you feel “called” to get involved anyway, then that’s between you and God.

In summary, if the woman is low quality, you won’t get much Heart Trust out of her, and Head Games and salty S#!t will be conspicuously imminent.

Of interest, the following articles describe many more identifying features of low quality women.


She’s alive and kicking! This is the kind of gaze you should be receiving from your girl.

2. Her State of Humility

Another powerful way to determine the sincerity of the woman is in gauging how humble she is within your interaction. Humility is perhaps the single most important quality that a woman could have, in terms of building a LTR. This is true because humility requires and facilitates Heart Trust.

The qualities of true humility (as opposed to the shame resulting from the debasement of pride) were described in a previous post, Apprehending True Humility (April 7, 2019). Relevant aspects are listed here.

  • Humility is the state of being emotionally aware of your needs and weaknesses and how you depend on God and others on a moment by moment basis.
  • Humility allows one to become introspective, and examine one’s own heart and motives. A humble person asks him/herself, “What did I do wrong? What’s my problem? What’s wrong with me? What more can I do? How can I fit into this relationship better?”
  • If a person has humility, he/she would be more loving, forgiving, merciful and compassionate.
  • Humility makes one more emotionally expressive of one’s needs to others. As a result, one is more emotionally connected to people.
  • Humility allows one to open their heart and experience love and grace.
  • The experience of falling in love is all about humility. One’s desire and affection for the other person becomes a need that the other person fulfills. One then finds himself doing all kinds of introspection, leading to personal changes, all to try to fit into this relationship better.

Humility is also a hallmark of spiritual maturity, which is an indispensable foundation of a LTR.

If your girl displays these characteristics of humility, the chances are good that you’ve got a keeper! (Or at least one that will keep you.)


In sum, if she thinks you’re the studliest cock of the walk, if she is doing back flips to make the relationship work, if she is bending down and swallowing the last morsel of the Humble Pie you’re feeding her – and doing it all with a bright-eyed, eager, and thankful puppy dog smile (like the one on the Asian babe pictured above) – then rest assured, you’re enjoying the blessings of her Heart Trust, and you should do whatever you can to cherish her whole-hearted Love, and keep her head spinning around.

On the other hand, if she thinks you’re the lickyest doodle of the town, if she wants you to do back flips to make the relationship work, if she is dragging you down, Gaslighting you, and force feeding you the contentions of her double mindedness – and threatening to withhold sex or leave you if you don’t roll over on her command – then verum non indicavit, you’re suffering from the curse of her Head Trust.* If you’re single, you should do whatever you can to avoid this hazing ceremony in the Rush to ћǝllenization. If you’re already married to a battle axe, then your task is to break down her addiction to hard power and virtual fixes.

Unfortunately, women don’t come with an autonomous error correcting algorithm installed in their set of firmware. As a consequence, women don’t naturally grow into high quality specimens of femininity. They need to be led and taught to be so. If her father didn’t do the work of moulding her into a proper lady, then that duty falls to you, bud.

Of note, some women certainly hold more promise of potential than others. The following articles describe many more identifying features of diamonds in the rough.

* Exceptions may apply in the case of extreme immaturity, as described above, under section 1. The Quality of the Source.


About Jack

Jack is a world traveling artist, skilled in trading ideas and information, none of which are considered too holy, too nerdy, nor too profane to hijack and twist into useful fashion. Sigma Frame Mindsets and methods for building and maintaining a masculine Frame
This entry was posted in Choosing a Partner or Spouse, Courtship and Marriage, Discerning Lies and Deception, Discernment, Wisdom, Relationships and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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