A timeline for sexual bonding and sexual maturation.
Most people want to have sex, or more sex, but in their zeal (or frustration), they seldom recognize how their sexual experiences (or lack thereof) change the constitution of their personality. This post is intended to provide a brief summary of how the sexual experience typically affects individuals and relationships.
For younger people who have no experience, this should give you an idea of how fragile our sexual nature is, and how quickly certain things can progress.
For men who are settling into a new relationship with a woman, the following bulletin should give you a better idea of how experienced she is.
- Instant (upon awareness) – Visual attraction, vibes, tingles, chemistry.
- A few seconds, up to a few hours – A decision is made whether to pursue a sexual relationship or not. Non-deliberative (feral, instinctive) decisions are made sooner.
- A few seconds, up to 1 minute – Penetration, loss of virginity/purity.
- 5-10 minutes of sexual intercourse (or orgasm) – Sanctification/defilement/alpha enwidowment. A deep sexual bonding forms.
- 2-3 months of regular banging – The dopamine/endorphine/oxytocin “high” associated with “falling in love” begins to abate.
- 8 months to one year – The initial feelings of love and attraction subside.
- 1-2 years of regular sexual intercourse (certain individuals may be shorter or longer) – Sexual maturity, familiarity with the processes leading to sex, and the sexual interaction develop. Individuals are learning to trust one’s body and control one’s sexual desire (sexual confidence). The development of trust in one’s sexual nature allows responsibility and personal agency to fully take root. Younger women are especially vulnerable to sexual exploitation before this phase. This is also when individuals “bloom”, and become sexually attractive to the opposite sex.
- 2-5 years – Head Trust develops with the attrition of Heart Trust. Cognitive knowledge of the sex act, and related activities, leads to sexual saturation. Individuals learn to objectify sex and sexy people. Feelings of predictability, annoyance, or even annui, commonly set in here. Most affairs and divorces happen in this stage. Women who have significantly negative experiences may grow to despise men and male desire during this phase. If not, they learn to be content with themselves and the man they have chosen.
- 5-10 years – Deeper personal understanding, friendship and affection gradually grows, producing more contentment and satisfaction in the relationship. For poorly adjusted individuals who may choose to stay in an unhappy union, sexual deployment and displacement may dominate their lives.
Males and females both experience similar time frames of bonding, but the emotional experience is usually more intense for the female.
From this itinerary, it can be seen that sexual bonding happens quickly, but usually sublimates and fades within a year. Since it is rather difficult to establish a monogamous, LTR, a deliberate effort and planning is required to form a stable long term union, such as marriage.
- Σ Frame: The Deeper Meaning of Marriage (October 18, 2011)