Time Frames for various forms of sexual bonding and maturation

A timeline for sexual bonding and sexual maturation.

Readership: +18

Most people want to have sex, or more sex, but in their zeal (or frustration), they seldom recognize how their sexual experiences (or lack thereof) change the constitution of their personality. This post is intended to provide a brief summary of how the sexual experience typically affects individuals and relationships.

For younger people who have no experience, this should give you an idea of how fragile our sexual nature is, and how quickly certain things can progress.

For men who are settling into a new relationship with a woman, the following bulletin should give you a better idea of how experienced she is.

  1. Instant (upon awareness) – Visual attraction, vibes, tingles, chemistry.
  2. A few seconds, up to a few hours – A decision is made whether to pursue a sexual relationship or not. Non-deliberative (feral, instinctive) decisions are made sooner.
  3. A few seconds, up to 1 minute – Penetration, loss of virginity/purity.
  4. 5-10 minutes of sexual intercourse (or orgasm) – Sanctification/defilement/alpha enwidowment. A deep sexual bonding forms.
  5. 2-3 months of regular banging – The dopamine/endorphine/oxytocin “high” associated with “falling in love” begins to abate.
  6. 8 months to one year – The initial feelings of love and attraction subside.
  7. 1-2 years of regular sexual intercourse (certain individuals may be shorter or longer) – Sexual maturity, familiarity with the processes leading to sex, and the sexual interaction develop. Individuals are learning to trust one’s body and control one’s sexual desire (sexual confidence). The development of trust in one’s sexual nature allows responsibility and personal agency to fully take root. Younger women are especially vulnerable to sexual exploitation before this phase. This is also when individuals “bloom”, and become sexually attractive to the opposite sex.
  8. 2-5 years – Head Trust develops with the attrition of Heart Trust. Cognitive knowledge of the sex act, and related activities, leads to sexual saturation. Individuals learn to objectify sex and sexy people. Feelings of predictability, annoyance, or even annui, commonly set in here. Most affairs and divorces happen in this stage. Women who have significantly negative experiences may grow to despise men and male desire during this phase. If not, they learn to be content with themselves and the man they have chosen.
  9. 5-10 years – Deeper personal understanding, friendship and affection gradually grows, producing more contentment and satisfaction in the relationship. For poorly adjusted individuals who may choose to stay in an unhappy union, sexual deployment and displacement may dominate their lives.

Males and females both experience similar time frames of bonding, but the emotional experience is usually more intense for the female.

From this itinerary, it can be seen that sexual bonding happens quickly, but usually sublimates and fades within a year. Since it is rather difficult to establish a monogamous, LTR, a deliberate effort and planning is required to form a stable long term union, such as marriage.


About Jack

Jack is a world traveling artist, skilled in trading ideas and information, none of which are considered too holy, too nerdy, nor too profane to hijack and twist into useful fashion. Sigma Frame Mindsets and methods for building and maintaining a masculine Frame
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6 Responses to Time Frames for various forms of sexual bonding and maturation

  1. Scott says:

    My experience has been basically serial monogamy. Although not perfectly. In general, since 17, its been LTRs with a bunch of what I call “sub-optimal relationship configurations” (F*** buddies, ONS, short term stuff) in between.

    I was married once before, with no kids. That amounted to basically a really long LTR (8 years).

    And, confirming–at least in part–what is contained in this post, there is a temptation to continue that, well, forever. The 3-12 month period of a relationship really does have advantages sexually.

    One must get over the hump the later years to obtain something more fulfilling. Truly, I can see why one LTR after another would be really fun.

    I met Mychael when I was 35, and she was 32.

    Now, we are in our 13th year, and in this case, I followed Deti’s rule: I married a woman who was (and still is) infatuated. (And lets be honest, I feel the same way about her). But even in that optimal case, there are dry spells, awkward periods, things to get past.

    But now, in our mid 40s, there is nothing like it. To make love to the woman you have made a commitment to, while the babies you made sleep in other rooms in the house you built for them is nothing short of heaven on earth. We are pretty sure that the child bearing years are over, so we are no longer doing it for procreative reasons. I describe it like a party where only two people are invited. What we are celebrating is the life we have created to together. And we love to celebrate.

    There is nothing like it. but you have to get through a bunch of other stuff to arrive there.

    Liked by 1 person

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