A commentary on The Other McCain’s article about dealing with pseudo-lesbians in Day Game.
Readership: Single, self-aware men
Single guys looking to develop their Frame need to check out this article from The Other McCain: Lesbian Is a Synonym for ‘No’ (Or: Guys, Please Leave @LayneMorgan Alone) (January 13, 2019).
McCain highlights a Twitter feed story about a guy approaching a girl wearing pajamas and Birkenstocks at CVS. She gets the creebies and rebuts with the line, “I’m a lesbian”. McCain goes into a classic Manospherian styled monologue about all the ins and outs of the interaction (or the reasons for the lack thereof), which is quite insightful.
Later in his post, he cited the value of having a sense of humor and a Sigma Frame as vital equipment necessary to roll with the Feminine punches of life. Of note, McCain writes that CVS boy’s biggest mistake is that…
“He never once made a joke.
Mister Idiot’s failure to display any sense of humor during their exchange is what makes me think this guy might be somewhere on the autism spectrum, because one of the basic traits of autism is a lack of self-awareness, and any emotionally intelligent guy would have acknowledged the absurdity of his situation. I mean, a guy works up the courage to try the cold pickup and his random target turns out to be a lesbian? What a perfect opportunity to employ self-deprecating humor!
Guys, pay attention: Learn to laugh at the tragic aspect of your plight.
Why? Because chicks dig it, that’s why. Every decent, intelligent and rational woman understands how tough it is for the average guy to muster the courage to make a move, knowing full well he’s going to strike out 99% of the time, because the average guy is merely average, and women are not attracted to average guys. Mister Idiot — the guy who made his move on Layne Morgan — must not be particularly attractive, or otherwise he wouldn’t be hitting on strangers at CVS, right?”
Right! So if you don’t rely heavily on humor in Day Game, you’re asking for a SMV demotion, in terms of confidence.
I’ve read dozens of articles about running Day Game on Return of Kings and other Manosphere sites, and the importance of humor is excessively understated, if not neglected altogether. Humor taking the form of confident, ZFG self-deprecation is especially powerful in getting chicks to laugh and open up.
But the point of developing and using humor is not to entertain others, or make people laugh, although that is certainly one benefit. No, it’s about enjoying yourself, taking things as they come, and displaying a positive attitude when the world is trying to kick you down.
Whenever the proverbial sh!t hits the fan, you have a choice.
- You can lament your loss while feeling sad and sorry.
- You can take it with a grain of salt, laugh it off, and make up your mind to do better.
Now, if it were me trying to pick her up, and she tried to play me off by saying she was a lesbian, I would have responded in mock seriousness,
“No kidding! I used to be a lesbian too, before I went trans! Now, I have a LOT more women available to me… <pause and insert sleazy smile and a wave of the hand> …and only the bad ones KNOW <flash of the eyes>, if you KNOW what I mean…”
Note: This approach adopts Agree and Amplify, along with mirroring techniques, which build rapport.
Her response to such a statement would be very telling.
- If she were a real lesbian, she would either become very intrigued or very suspicious, and probably ask me to tell her more of “my story”. Then I would have a really good time making up some crazy anecdotes, and it’s hard to tell where that would lead to. If she was buying my story, then at some point, I might ask her if she cared to “go to the next level”, and try on a “woman” who has a “transplanted tool that can please”.
- If she were only using the lesbian line as a pseudo-polite, but firm, “no”, then she would be shocked sh!tless, visibly mortified, and run away. She would be much less likely to use the “Sorry, I’m a lesbian…” line again in the future.
- If she were sufficiently self-aware, and actually recognized that I was contriving a huge practical joke, this would show her that I’m a fun-loving guy, and disarm her defenses. She would walk away thinking I was the coolest guy on the planet (or the most twisted perv, which is still good). There’s a chance that she might even get the mini-tingles from this, and then talk to me a little longer. There’s a long shot she might even give me her number or see me again. (The guy suggested “having a beer”, but that seems out of place in this context.)
- Even if she only slapped my face, and labeled me with derogatory insult, I would still have the laugh of the century, and a good story to repeat for a decade.
Any way it plays out, I’ve called her out, asserted my Frame, and made a memorable impression on the girl.
Concerning the longitudinal strategy of the interaction, McCain writes,
“One of the keys to success, playing from a Sigma Frame perspective, is to think in terms of the process of elimination. There are 3.5 billion women on this planet, and all you have to do is find one. By trial and error, you can learn to distinguish between the few who might possibly say “yes” and the vast majority who are a definite “no.” Once you accept the implications of the One-in-Seven Rule and recognize that you aren’t part of the lucky 15% who can win no matter how they play the game, you’ll increase your likelihood of winning simply because you understand how much the odds are stacked against you. And it’s important for young men to recognize this reality at a young age, or otherwise they might become the kind of loser who’s 25 years old with no girlfriend, and no idea of how to get one other than approaching strangers at the CVS.”
McCain is exactly right. The first key to success is knowing who you are, what your deal-breaker requirements are, and where you stand in the hierarchy. The second step is in finding a woman who matches your personality and your requirements. As long as a young man continues to chase after an ideal (woman in this case), and fails to consider his identity and purpose, he’s setting himself up for a bitter failure.
Get your own life together first, and once you’ve made some progress on that, certain women (not all) will notice and start being attracted to you. Make your selection from this pool of women, and be careful to choose one that shows genuine respect towards you. Don’t be fooled by fake respect, which she might only show if she wants to play you off as a Beta chump, to exchange ego fluffing attention (which is equivalent to the Friend Zone), or transactionally extract resources from you.
Some sure signs of true relationship potential are as follows.
- She either chokes up or mindlessly rambles on whenever she’s talking to you.
- Her eyes light up, and her jaw drops open whenever you give her individual attention.
- She’s excessively animated and expressive, she fidgets and can’t sit still.
- She can’t take her eyes off of you.
- She smiles, and/or touches her face and/or hair whenever she’s talking to you.
- She laughs at everything you say.
- She returns your calls and texts immediately.
A young man would be wise to show special consideration to those women who display these behaviors, even if they happen to be women who don’t give him an instant hard on. Best of all, it will be easy to make her laugh. Use these opportunities to hone your skills and build your confidence.
Don’t go after women whom you are attracted to, but who are NOT attracted to you. At best, that’s a recipe for rejection and failure, and at worst, you’re facing a risk of a harassment charge.
- Return of Kings (feat. Quintus Curtius): 11 Fundamental Guidelines For Solid Game (February 17, 2014)