This post discusses the responsibilities of men as the ‘hiring managers’ of women, and the woman’s role as a subordinate helper and facilitator. Several important takeaways are delivered for single and married men alike.
This is the third installment in a series of posts about life management. Other posts in this series include the following.
- Sigma Frame: Man as the Manager, Woman as the Helper – Part 1 (May 19, 2018)
- Sigma Frame: Man as the Middle Manager – Part 2 (May 21, 2018)
The first post identified a passage in Genesis which describes God’s proscribed relational structure between man and woman.
“Then the Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to tend and keep it.” ~ Genesis 2:15 (NKJV)
“And the Lord God said, ‘It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.’” ~ Genesis 2:18 (NKJV)
The previous two posts discussed how the man plays the role of a manager, and how his management is necessary for the growth of the relationship.
Managers Need to Hire Worthy Helpmates
Genesis 2:18 indicates that God intended the woman to be a man’s ‘helper’ and companion in life. By analogy, being an excellent manager is ineffective if the boss doesn’t have diligent, loyal, hardworking employees who understand what needs to be done and then work at it diligently. This is why the hiring process requires credentials, and is made into a stressful, multifaceted test of ability and responsibility.
Likewise, it’s very important for a man to choose a woman who will cooperate with his prerogatives. Men should give potential female partners a bit of stress and take her to task for the purpose of proving her ability to be a good helper and companion, before giving her a ‘promotion’ to the position of a girlfriend or wife. Contrary to what Blue Pilled men believe about women wanting to be pampered and coddled (which is an expression of chivalry), most (real) women would be delighted when a man presents her with a challenging task.
The implementation of this proposed structure has different applications, depending on if you’re single or married. If you’re married, it’s a hefty (and perhaps hopeless) task to try to transform your wife into being a cooperative and respectful helper. But some men might stand a good chance to push towards this goal in their relationship. I am in this situation, and I’ve compiled a directory of several posts that cover how this might be accomplished. I am definitely experiencing progress in this endeavor, however, the process is difficult, slow, and often painful.
If you’re single, then you don’t (yet) have the burden of teaching a woman, but only to select the woman who is better for you. Here, the ‘helper’ concept offers a great frame of mind in which a man can vet any particular woman in question. In the application of vetting, men can ask themselves questions like these.
- How much help does she actually offer to you?
- Is she helping you, or does she expect you to help her?
- Does she have the ability to offer help?
- Does her skill level match yours?
- Are her values and interests compatible with yours?
- Does she even have the mindset to offer help?
- Does she enthusiastically agree with, appreciate, and support what you’re doing with your life?
- Does she encourage you to do more, and to make the most of yourself (and not just out of her selfish motivations for her own gain)?
A more specific question to ask is, does she follow you? This is important because following you is an expression of submission. Concordant questions follow here.
- Does she seek your attention? Or do you seek hers?
- Does she follow your directive? Or does she prefer to ‘live and let live’?
- Does she follow your thoughts, and intentions? Or does she argue about things?
- When you are walking around in public, does she follow your lead to go where you want to go, see what you want to see, and do what you want to do? Or does it happen that you often follow her around, or else, you tend to get separated when pursuing your respective interests?
- Does she accept, and actively try to enhance the things you do? Or is she ambivalent about your preferences of how things should be? Or worse, does she always tell you to do things differently, or to do things her way?
I will offer an example which might seem rather trivial on the surface, but in fact, it conveys very important information about your real status in the hierarchy. Suppose you want the sugar bowl to remain on the table where it can be easily accessed when you’re eating your Wheaties for breakfast every morning. She wants the sugar bowl in the cupboard, so she can take pride in having a ‘clean’ (i.e. empty) table. So where will the sugar bowl be kept?
Small signs such as these are an indicator of the real dynamics of your relationship. A wise man will not ignore the signs!
Concerning single guys, while it is definitely true that men want to screw women with hot, young, hard, healthy bodies, the fact is that men love women who allow them to lead, who consistently offer them practical assistance in life, and who do so with a respectful attitude. Contrary to cultural propaganda, this is the true meaning of the Biblical concept of ‘submission’. Furthermore, men want to marry women who offer both aspects – hot sex and helpful, respectful companionship.
The problem that a lot of men get into, is when they get hooked on the sex (or the hope of sex), and give the lady a promotion to a position above her ability. Choose wisely!
For married men, a greater awareness of their role as a manager will do much to align their marriages with God’s archetype, leading to an enhancement of their marriages in the long run.
A previous post, Why Do Men Need Visions and Dreams? (May 15, 2018), inspired men to have a vision for their lives. What is your vision? Can you envision yourself as being the ‘King’ of your household? Can you envision your girlfriend or wife as someone who supports your life plans with enthusiasm?
Or do you think life is hopeless, that the 4th Wave fracas will drown us all?
“But Jesus looked at them and said to them, ‘With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.’” ~ Matthew 19:26 (NKJV)
Whatever state you are now in, I challenge you to dream a little bit, and let that dream sink into your attitudes and belief systems over time. Don’t be afraid to mourn, to be angry, and to then take the appropriate actions to make your life into what you want it to be.