This post discusses the responsibilities of men as managers of life, and the woman’s role as a facilitator. Several important takeaways are delivered for single and married men alike.
This is the second installment in a series of posts about life (and woman) management. Other posts in this series include the following.
- Sigma Frame: Man as the Manager, Woman as the Helper – Part 1 (May 19, 2018)
- Sigma Frame: Man as the Hiring Manager – Part 3 (May 24, 2018)
The first post discussed how management is necessary for the growth of a relationship, and that God intended for the man to fulfill this role, and for the woman to be his helper.
Men Compartmentalize Management
Women are known to view life comprehensively, viz. ‘everything affects everything’, while men are known to compartmentalize different areas of their lives. This habit of men naturally fits that of a manager.
I propose that a man’s general areas of executive management should include the following, in the order of priority given. Each area has several sub-categories which are unique for each man, and each one has its own set of tasks and responsibilities.
- Managing his purpose in life – work
- Managing his self – identity and personal growth
- Managing finances – cash flow and savings
- Managing plans – schedules and time management
- Managing his female helper
- Managing his social life and interactions
- Managing SJW’s at the office (heh)
[Eds. note: Priorities (3) and (4) are about equal in importance, but ‘finances’ are listed as a higher priority because it is a more urgent matter. Also, Jesus talked about money more than he talked about planning.]
The interesting thing here is that our lovely, submissive, female helper plays a role in the execution of all of these priorities. (Just smile and believe it on faith.) So next, we’ll discuss the first four priorities of management – points which pose the most difficulty for men in the way of managing the female.
Priority (1): Managing His Purpose
My wife has often stated that she is most attracted to me when I am busy working on something. She even makes it a game to try and distract me by giving me more physical attention at those times. Once in a while, she’ll even take her clothes off and do a gyrating dance in front of me. (I usually laugh at her, and tell her to come do her ‘job’.)
I think this attraction is no coincidence. Women are naturally drawn to a man who is busy with a purpose. This sense of purpose piques the woman’s curiosity and draws her into the man’s Frame. It is therefore very important for the man to establish himself in the woman’s eyes as a man with important (and fun) things to do.
From a management perspective, it seems intuitive that a supervisor (husband) should take the lead, and should then make demands on the subordinate (wife), and not the other way around. A woman reading this might object with the argument that the wife’s needs and preferences are being ignored within such an arrangement. But in fact, past studies have shown that it is advantageous for the husband to direct and make requests of the wife, and initiate conflict if necessary, in order to establish a relational structure that has longitudinal improvements in satisfaction for both partners. Previous studies which describe this structure are outlined and discussed in the following posts.
- Sigma Frame: Conflict Structure and Marital Satisfaction (November 15, 2017)
- Sigma Frame: Disciplined, Submissive, Happy Wives (February 15, 2018)
- Sigma Frame: Pushing the Line (February 27, 2018)
The gist of it is that the wife needs to be presented with the choice of either assisting the husband in meeting various life goals and personal needs, or not. If she happens to be the type of woman who derides his values and ridicules his personal preferences, then he needs to make it clear that their relationship has little hope of a future unless she can accept who he is, and support him as he embarks on his particular path to growth and fulfillment. That sounds reminiscent of a soft dread game. If the reader is a single man, let it suffice to say that such women fail to see the positive in you, and are thus best avoided.
On the other hand, if the husband presents the wife with clear goals, an outline of a plan, and then specifically points out what he needs from her, then she is faced with a clear choice of whether to support him or not. Given the lack of a better and more convenient choice, it is very likely that she will agree to support the endeavor. After all, it is human nature to desire to be part of an enterprise that is larger than one’s own personal interests. Furthermore, as she invests more of her time and emotional energy into the work, she should grow to appreciate it (and him) much more as time goes on.
Priority (2): Managing His Self
With respect to priority (2), we know women have this innate tendency to want to ‘mother’ the man, or else, ‘change’ him in some way more to their comfort and liking. (Red Pilled men know that accommodating her requests for ‘change’ have no positive lasting benefit.) I recommend that single men should get their own life together first (i.e. priority (1) above), before settling in with a woman. For dating and married couples, the man needs to draw boundaries which protect his own peace and joy, which satisfy his unique personal needs, and which put his heart and mind to rest.
Here, it’s important for the man to know who he is as an individual, develop his Frame, and make his spiritual needs evident to the woman. (Women seem to be well aware of men’s physical needs, so I will omit this facet from the discussion.) Typical spiritual needs husbands have of wives include simple gestures of kindness, gratitude, and respect, enthusiastic receptivity to sexual intercourse, having uninterrupted quiet time to spend on a personal interest, or enjoying regular occasions to hang out with friends. To this end, please read my previous post, Pushing the Line, to learn how a man can demand, and receive, better responses from his woman.
Priority (3): Managing Finances
With reference to priority (3), the woman should be taught and challenged to become more responsible with finances. It should be made evident that if she is responsible with small things, then she will be trusted with more, and if not, then what she has will be taken away. (See the Parable of the Talents, in Matthew 13:12, Matthew 25:29, Mark 4:25, and Luke 19:26.) This is not about ‘male domination’ or control, as purported by wimminz. It’s about maintaining responsible stewardship.
Thus, men need to regulate the income and expenses, and women need to be put on a budget. If the woman cannot abide by the budget put forth by the man, then she needs to have her financial privileges (i.e. credit cards) revoked. If she has her own source of income, then the man can restrict his contributions and let the woman learn these lessons at her own expense.
I’ll add here, that when you lay down some rules, you’ll get a lot of static in the beginning, but if you stick to it, then (hopefully) she will come around to see things the way you do. At the very least, you’ll show her that you’re a man of principle and that you follow through on your decisions. This may also elicit some respect from her.
Rest assured, if the typical woman is given responsibility for the family finances, the expenses will be skewed towards creature comforts and personal indulgences, not to mention her own private bank account, which will become her nest egg if and when she decides to hire a lawyer, file for a divorce, and elope with her (other, more favored) boss. So don’t be that sucker husband who trusted his wife with all the money, and then got reamed out of house and home. (I keep US$3,000 in cash hidden away with a trusted friend, just in case my wife pulls a stunt, or blows up the budget somehow.)
In other words, The Parable of the Talents applies to the man as well as the woman. If a man grossly mismanages his money by letting his woman handle all the finances, then what little he has will be taken away. So saith the Lord of Hosts, and you know it’s true.
Priority (4): Managing Plans
Concerning priority (4), plans, schedules and time management, the man needs to draw an outline of what needs to be done, and orchestrate the execution of a plan. The plan should be a vehicle to achieve the man’s larger purposes in life, according to priority (1). The plan needs to be made clear to everyone involved, and should be followed as closely as possible.
If presented with a clear plan with mutually beneficial goals, a woman is more likely to jump on board without too much resistance. But if there is no plan, the woman will devise her own plans, and then expect the man to follow along. If in fact, a man really doesn’t have a concrete plan in place, then he can always make up a tentative plan, and then change it later on. Women (and subordinates) are more confused and upset by a man (supervisor) with no plan, than a man (supervisor) who is constantly changing the plan.
So, a man should always be talking about big plans, even if he’s not confident about achieving them. In fact, women love to hear men talk about opportunities, goals, hopes and dreams, because this is a projection of perceived power. If a man fails to achieve these goals, women are likely to blame external factors, rather than the man’s ineptitude. This is because women naturally grab on to the faith and hope that are expressed, and have (hopefully) invested themselves in the labor, so as a result, they can be very forgiving in this respect.
If you do all these things, and your woman still wants to chide you about never achieving the plans you set forth, then I’m sorry to say, you’ve got a rotten, selfish woman. I suggest you just do your own thing, and put her words out of your mind. Pray that there will come a day when she realizes the sinfulness of her attitude.
The temptation that men have faced historically, is to give the responsibility of certain priorities to the female helper in their lives. This frequently happens when the woman is being a feral b!tch-@ss by plying a multitude of shit tests on a regular basis, and then the man naturally grows bitter and resentful. After a while of this, the strength of will in the man becomes fatigued, and he just wants to escape, or give in. The bottom line is that he stops caring about, and making efforts in management.
Think about it…
- A man would never ask a woman to move furniture and renovate the house, while he swept up the dust and splinters.
- A man would never ask a woman to change the oil in the car, while he cleaned the tools.
- A man would never ask a woman to manage his business appointments, while he scheduled them and prepared the reports.
- Many men presume that their wives know what’s better for his personal well-being, and then go along with her priorities.
- Many men think it’s OK for a woman to manage his finances, while he earns the money.
- Many men allow their wives to tell them how to spend their time, while the wife is busy making more activities for him to spend time on.
Something is not quite right here.
To counteract this default human ontology, married men need to focus on developing devices to keep this aspect of feral femininity at bay, while single men should focus on vetting women who won’t toe the line in this regard. From this point of view, we may gain a renewed appreciation for Game, because it is, at the very least, an effort towards management, and a refusal to resign to either fatigue or fate, even though the motives, moral agency, and level of responsibility remain debatable on a case-by-case basis. [Vetting is further explored in the following post, Man as the Hiring Manager (May 24, 2018).]
I am not discounting the myriad ways that a woman adds life and value to the relationship, and introduces ideas and activities that give it gusto. But a man needs to have a plan and a purpose, and he needs to spearhead the execution of that plan. The woman should follow along and contribute to the enterprise. Sure, there are many instances in which a woman is well qualified for the task, and is quite responsible in the execution, but the man should not remain ignorant of what is going on, under the assumption that it’s her area of expertise. (How many times have you heard a man say, “My wife handles the finances.”?)
Taking hold of the reigns may be very difficult in the beginning, but after some boundaries and structure have been established, and she gets used to the new momentum, it may be easier and more enjoyable (for both) than most men imagine. I know this from experience.
- Christianity and Masculinity: The Sirach on Women (May 20, 2018)