Women require more than what they’re willing or able to give.
A previous post, My Dating Experiences in College (March 25, 2018), told a story from the earlier part of the rude wake-up from my Blue Pill education. This post included some poignant and difficult lessons I learned about myself in the process.
But the story is not complete without also telling what I learned about women through this experience. Hence, this follow-up post covering the things I learned about women while in college.
The main topics covered are listed here.
- Women Are Selfish Singularities
- Women Are Consumed By A Lust That Is Delusionally Labeled As Love
- Women Need To Be Taught How to Get Along With A Man
- The Enigmatic “Right Time” Phenomena
- Women View Sex as the “Qualifying Round”
- Women’s Sexually Charged Desire Can (Possibly) Be A Good Thing
1. Women Are Selfish Singularities
Practically speaking, and contrary to my previous expectations, (most college aged) women simply do not think long term, nor are they mature enough to operate at a higher level of relationship performance, such as what would be required to establish a solid marriage and family.
After meeting a few hundred women like this, I learned that this is just how women are.
Since I was majoring in Physics at the time, I discovered, quite humorously, that the scientific word ‘singularity’ is an apt descriptor of such women. Merriam-Webster’s definition of ‘singularity’ is,
- Something that is singular: such as
a: A separate unit
b: Having an unusual or distinctive manner or behavior : peculiarity
- The quality or state of being singular
- A point at which the derivative of a given function of a complex variable does not exist but every neighborhood of which contains points for which the derivative does exist
- A point or region of infinite mass density at which space and time are infinitely distorted by gravitational forces and which is held to be the final state of matter falling into a black hole
Definitions 1 and 2 are self-explanatory, and there is also a pun reflecting her state of being ‘single’.
Definition 3 above describes the ‘money pit’ aspect of getting along with women. Think of a bottomless hole with sloping sides, swallowing up everything that comes within its vicinity, including love, emotional investment, time, money, labor, and of course, d!ck.
The Sarlacc creature from Star Wars is a similarly fitting analogy.
Concerning definition 4, women (especially younger ones) are spoiled, selfish and lazy, and have no interest to love or to invest in a man. They want to do all the taking, and none of the giving. Their approach towards real love is a deep space vacuum – a black hole singularity that absorbs everything, and gives back nothing.
Another good analogy is the story of the Tar Baby – you just can’t touch them without getting into a mess.
Since those days in college, I have avoided women under 25 like the plague. They’re just too foolish, immature, and selfish.
2. Women Are Consumed By A Lust That Is Delusionally Labeled As Love
A book I read last year, The Love a Wife Desires, the Respect a Husband Needs, by Dr. Emerson Eggerich, stated something to the effect that, ‘love is the natural language of the female’. True to the time (2004), this idea is a core concept of Blue Pill existentialism, and as such, was believed by virtually everyone, prior to the advent of the Red Pill.
But based on my experiences, I have to say that this postulate paints with too broad a sugar coated stroke, making it too easy to miss the truth. It is true that women naturally look for love, and that they are attuned to the language of love, but they are not into actually giving love, unless they are taught to do so through the discipline of love.
According to my Blue Pill education, I expected women to be more interested in a committed marriage, than in sex. But totally against the Blue Pill myths, the grand majority of all the women I met, did not have the mind to commit, nor even to love in the true sense of the word.
Their desire was not driven by a hypergamic, branch-swinging, self-betterment, as is described elsewhere on the Manosphere. No, they wanted to indulge the Tingles unto sexual intercourse, and they wanted to do so, RIGHT NOW. They also had the simplistic expectation that I would intuitively ‘know’ what they expected, and that I would ‘move in for the kill’ upon their signal.
After meeting hundreds of women like this, I realized that modern women do not, in fact, speak the language of love naturally, nor do they even have the mind to put love first. I also discovered that they had a different definition of ‘love’ than I did. They might talk about ‘finding true love’, but what they really mean is ‘exploring intense Tingles’, and they mistakenly believed that to be ‘love’.
I won’t deny that an emotional stimulation is an important part of true, romantic love, but for a lot of women, it’s the only part there is! If it’s not fun and exciting, if it has the least bit of drudgery, if it requires emotional work, or (God forbid!) sacrifice, then without the hopes conferred by the blessed Tingles, she is out, and on to the next guy.
The thing that made me angry was that most of these women were ‘good Christian girls’. (I selected such women because I was unwilling to date or marry an unbeliever.)
The word, solipsism, is frequently used in Red Pill literature to describe the self-absorbed nature of women. Solipsism means,
“The philosophical idea that only one’s own mind is sure to exist. As an epistemological position, solipsism holds that knowledge of anything outside one’s own mind is unsure; the external world and other minds cannot be known and might not exist outside the mind. As a metaphysical position, solipsism goes further to the conclusion that the world and other minds do not exist.” ~ Infogalactic: Solipsism
Although most young women are definitely this way, there is one idea that all women seem to share – the Tingle-Tantric Fairy Tale. Solipsism is overcome when confronted with other minds who share this dream world, and then (and only then) authentic heart-to-heart communication may commence. PUA’s and long-married men know this secret best.
3. Women Need To Be Taught How to Get Along With A Man
Another problem with the false belief that ‘love is the natural language of the female’, is that it seems to imply that females don’t need to be taught or told to love, because they do it by default.
But this is not totally true. Women have to be taught these things over time. They only love by default if they were molded to be that way.
“Train up a child in the way (s)he should go, and when (s)he is old (s)he will not depart from it.” ~ Proverbs 22:6
It is best if they learn love and proper behavior from a disciplined upbringing.
Personally, I believe that a woman can only learn selfless love and proper respect from a wise, disciplinary father. A father has the unique charge to groom his daughter(s) for marriage, and mould them into women with the potential to become happy, worthy wives.
Without this parental influence, young girls are abandoned to learn the Fairy Tales from Disney.
And sadly, once a girl passes adolescence, that prime window of opportunity has passed. As a woman ages, she will only become more rigid and headstrong in what she learned as an adolescent.
They can’t learn love from a romantic interest, because they’re in Transaction Mode, or Affirmation Mode, and not in Humble Mode, Learning Mode, or Gratitude Mode.
If she’s in Transaction Mode, she’ll have a quid pro quo mindset about relational duties and responsibilities – the ‘equality’ stuff – but in reality, she’ll only think it’s ‘equal’ if it’s more in her favor. If that should ever occur, it tends to make her too comfortable and lazy, which leads to her being ungrateful. Then after a while of that, she gets the nagging feeling, characterized by an annoying vacancy of the Tingles, that the man’s SMV is beneath her own, and that she deserves someone with a higher SMV. After that, she will fitness test the relationship until it is destroyed by doing so.
If she’s in Affirmation Mode, she’ll be focused on her own feelings and needs, namely Tingles and her own Contentment (not yours), which can be complicated to maintain. Men call this type of woman ‘high-maintenance’, meaning that it requires an inordinate amount of work to keep her happily occupied with her idols.
Getting a woman into Humble Mode, Learning Mode, or Gratitude Mode is even more complicated, especially if she doesn’t recognize that it is to your mutual benefit that she should adopt this stance. Dealing with a woman like this requires a (typical) man’s diligent longitudinal study of the topic. But the abridged version is this: To keep her interested and open to learning those eternal operatives of love and respect, and to continue moulding excellence within her character, it essentially becomes necessary that the time is filled with Game and Tingles.
In summary, women can’t be taught (very easily) in a romantic relationship.
However, I have noticed that many women do learn to love by becoming mothers. It seems that this experience makes them realize their place in the linear hierarchy, seeing how they are no longer the ‘baby’ to be coddled, but must instead provide for her baby. I suspect that this is the truth behind the scripture in 1st Timothy 2:15, which says,
“Nevertheless she will be saved in childbearing if they continue in faith, love, and holiness, with self-control.”
From this perspective, it is easy to see how abortion can be a d@mning decision, for both mother and child.
4. The Enigmatic “Right Time” Phenomena
There is this weird ‘right time’ phenomena. It might be due to a biological clock of some sort, or it might just be how humans get something in their heads, which they tend to act out.
Women especially, have this notion of, ‘it’s the right time’ to do something, and this isn’t well understood, even by themselves.
When they feel it’s the ‘right time’ to start being sexually active, then they just start being sexually active, and they’ll do it with whatever guy happens to be in their life at that moment. It doesn’t really matter much who the guy is, as long as he serves the male function in her life (and bed), and he doesn’t revile her ego in the process.
Even the Tingles are not a significant motivator, although they often serve as a catalyst. For example, Stacey gets the Tingles for Chad, but she can’t bed Chad, so she does John instead. But John can’t sustain her Tingles, so she doesn’t respect him or take him seriously. As soon as she meets Rob, the Tingles strike again, and that makes her grow irritated with John and branch swing to Tom. But Tom cannot tingulate her any better than John could. Repeto itero, ad nauseam, et cetera. (It’s a recursive process that I have seen happen sooo many times… This is why female sexuality is so heavily regulated in patriarchal cultures, and also why sexually liberated women despise patriarchy.)
And then, when women feel it’s the ‘right time’ to get married, then they just get married, and they’ll marry whatever guy happens to be in their life at that moment. Again, it really doesn’t matter too much who the guy is, as long as he seems to be ‘marriage material’, and is somewhat disliked by her parents. I guess it wouldn’t matter at all who he is, if she’s only going to strip him of all worthy assets, and then dump him when the source dries up. Here also, the Tingles are not a significant motivator, although they serve as a catalyst. This also has well known, catastrophic consequences, such as affairs, cuckolding, frivorce, and legalized kidnapping.
This phenomenon stands in contrast from reports I’ve heard about many other women who say they are looking for ‘the one’. I haven’t met many of those. But I will conjecture that ‘the one’ in those women’s fantasies is merely a mythical creature of their imaginations, as mentioned before, someone who accelerates their Tingles past full throttle – an entirely fictionalized fantasy with no useful purpose other than to validate their ego.
The thing that made me confused (and resentful too), is that the ‘right time’ for women to have sex, always happened long before the ‘right time’ came for them to marry. I came up with the following reasons why this might be.
- It is a selfish desire for satisfaction, and an inability to delay gratification, coupled with low moral convictions, and no social consequences surrounding sexual activities.
- General immaturity, and an associated inability to accept the responsibilities involved with a mature relationship and sex.
- They all got waylaid by Satan’s deception, on an industrialized, mass production scale.
I’ve met a very small number of women who chose to remain abstinent until marriage. But from my estimation, those women had such a low SMV, that if they didn’t display the virtue of faithfulness through keeping their virginity, they wouldn’t have much else to offer a man. More interestingly, they were all attracted to very charismatic guys with a lot of sexual experience, which really irritated the h#ll out of them. I could also see that those charismatic guys (that they could catch) had so much sexual experience, that they had gained an ability to look beyond the visceral, aesthetic attraction (or the lack thereof) that most other guys get hung up on, in selecting a partner.
5. Women View Sex as the “Qualifying Round”
I discovered, through my unique experiences, that the applied, ‘runaway’, female hypergamy is necessarily a drive for sex, but they don’t view sex like men do. Men view sex as the ultimate goalpost, or at least a major milestone in the development of a relationship. But (feral) women view sex as the ‘Qualifying Round’ – a test that men need to pass before advancing onto a LTR.
This ontology is something that I haven’t seen described in any other Manosphere blog. But this post from The Masculine Principle comes pretty close: You Mean Nothing to a Woman Until You Have Sex (March 9, 2015). Here are a couple relevant excerpts.
“A woman decides within seconds if she wants a man or not, and then immediately tests him to see if he is important enough, and in demand enough, to not have to chase her. Almost anything he does to pursue her, please her, or try to get close to her makes his value drop…”
Along this vain, I used to think that resisting sex would increase my perceived SMV. I was wrong! This is true for women, but for men, the opposite is closer to the truth.
“A lot of men don’t know this. They assume because they have put significant time and effort into wooing a girl and she is responding, that he is important to her. Nothing could be further from the truth. You will rarely find a woman who will admit this. But their behavior shows this very clearly. It is the rule, not the exception. Until you put your penis in a woman, you mean nothing to her, no matter what. Even after that, many will still flake on you soon after.”
That means, if their implicit hypergamic desire is not met with a sexual payoff, rich in Tingles, then women turn cold and hateful. If you fail the ‘qualifying round’, you are automatically ‘disqualified’ from any further ‘competition’ for her attentions.
The flip side of the coin that is not covered by The Masculine Principle, is that if you actually expect a woman to chase you, or to do any kind of ‘work’ to earn your love and attention, then she will quickly turn tail and run to the next guy, and he doesn’t need to be any more alpha than you are. He could simply be any guy within her immediate proximity who ‘reads’ her expected need for sexual affirmation, and delivers on the spot, without a lot of fuss.
Even if she thinks you’re a perfect catch, even if she esteems you to be way above her on the SMV scale, she will still insist on playing the passive recipient, and pretend that she has no agency. If you don’t read her signs and jump on the chance, then she is off to the next guy who, hopefully, will ‘read her’ better than you can, and deliver the goods without her having to ask. If she even thinks she has to ask, or tell you what she wants, then that will immediately disqualify you as well.
As I’ve grown older, I’ve come to recognize that the use of sex as a qualifying factor, is actually a power play that says,
“Give me the kind of sex I want, when I want it, or else you will face my wrath and my rejection of you.”
Men can use this power play, as much as women do, but fewer men have the ability to draw a woman of their choice into this dynamic.
Anyway, this control-based approach is a long way from true love.
6. A Woman’s Sexually Charged Desire Can (Possibly) Be A Good Thing
One facet of my experiences which I initially rejected, and didn’t really understand until after fully digesting the Red Pill years later, is that a man is blessed if the woman has a sexually charged desire for him. This is a state necessary for the man to exert power and control in the relationship, as well as grant him the ability to extract gratuitous p00n from her on a regular basis, when needed. The leadership of the man is essential towards constructing a stable, happy relationship.
I can actually see how this is a good thing. Now, when I say it’s a good thing, I don’t mean that it’s good for building my notch count. No, I mean it’s good for a woman to desire a particular man in that way, because it indicates a genuine physical attraction, which is absolutely crucial to have in a sexually satisfying relationship or marriage, as opposed to a contrived, transactional ‘arrangement’.
It took me a while to accept the fact that I wasn’t going to find a mature, loving, respectful woman, who earnestly desires me sexually, and who is also going to wait until marriage. At least, not in today’s society, and not even within the church.
Years later, I came to the conclusion that I would never find a loving woman (of a sufficiently equitable SMV) unless I moulded her myself.
- No Ma’am: Bonecrker #38 – You Mean Nothing Until You Have Sex II (October 7, 2010)
- The Jiggly Room: Bonecrker #35 – You Mean NOTHING To A Woman Until You Have Sex (March 10, 2014)
- The Rational Male: Transactional vs. Validational Sex (March 7, 2018)